The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 33, Episode 10 - A Made Maggie - full transcript
Fat Tony becomes Maggie's godfather.
Ho, ho, ho!
- ♪ ♪
Good sir, perchance you would
like to try on
the "categorize cap"
to see which school
of magic most suits thee?
Not today, weirdo.
Congratulations,
you're a Grizzledum!
Yes! Finally!
A hat that respects me!
Don't be too cocky.
That means you're a sworn
enemy of Pufflesnuff.
I hate those guys.
Well, well, well, if it ain't
one of those Grizzledum gits.
Someone had a little too much
bubble and squeak for breakfast.
Don't worry, Dad.
Those are just park employees.
Cool!
Then they can't hit me back.
Oi!
We're seasonal workers.
We can do
as we bloody well please.
Yeah, well, just wait'll
my fellow Grizzledums help me.
I'm known for my stomach aches.
My character was cut
from the movies.
- Aah!
- Get him!
This is a good time
to call Grampa
and see how Maggie's doing.
Carve a lightning
bolt in his head!
Hello, Mabel.
Can I have my dad?
Sure thing, Marge.
Patching you through
to Throwback 7244.
Hey, Marge,
everything is A-okay,
which was a popular slogan
during Martin Van Buren's
election campaign because...
Ooh, thank God
I'm on my anti-rambling meds.
I remember the first day
I went on them.
That's it.
Anyway, Maggie's having fun
with her little friend.
We're at the beach?!
I better put on sunscreen.
♪ ♪
I finally know what it's like
to be a British beverage.
Gently back and forth,
back and forth.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Bart!
Stop playing with the wheel.
Only if Homer buys us something
at the gift shop!
Why do I keep thinking
these places will be fun?
You don't!
It's a place you can be with us
without having to talk to us.
Oh, finally,
a place to spend money.
I'll take three of each wand
plus holsters and the
five-year magic care warranty.
And I'll pick the one
that costs a little extra
because they also give
a wand to a needy child.
Aw.
Listen to her,
purring like a kitten.
Grampa, when was
the last time you saw Maggie?
I just changed her diaper
before I put the cat out.
Uh-oh.
- Maggie!
- Where are you, Mags?
Ask Grampa, maybe he knows.
Simpsons, I don't know
if Heaven's missing an angel,
but I think you might be.
Oh, my sweet baby!
Flanders, I owe ya one.
Well, sir, could you give me
back my Allen wrench?
This guy names his tools.
Grampa, I'm afraid we'll never
ask you to babysit again.
Who says I want to?
You never even pay me!
Well, you can rest easy
knowing if anything did happen,
she has the only insurance
you truly need.
A simple Christian baptism.
Actually,
we haven't gotten around
to baptizing her yet.
You mean
this child could've been
cast into God's basement
of eternal burning,
because you were "too busy"?
We could baptize her soon,
if you want to be the godfather.
Oh, no can-doodily.
I'm already the godfather
to 1,100 children.
Take one of these.
- It'll buzz
when I have an opening.
This is for a baptism?
My wife is Shinto and I worship
the Klingon faith of Ba-a-a-a.
We thought this was
for Tony Roma's.
Good night!
I can't stop thinking
about Maggie not being baptized.
What if...
the unspeakable happens?
Are you saying that just
because we don't splash
a little water on her
she's gonna burn forever?
Sleep well, knowing
current religious thought
is Maggie won't go to Hell.
Although that's
always up for debate.
- Mm.
Hmm.
♪ ♪
Ah! Ah.
Nice and unbaptized.
She'll play
in an unsanitary ball pit
- for all eternity.
And I'm here, too!
And I've got Milhouse
growing on my back.
I'm the front
and you're the back!
- I'm the front!
Ow!
We have
to get Maggie baptized now.
Either Patty or Selma could be
the godmother.
Well, that would insult
one of them.
But I want
to insult both of them.
What we really need
for the godfather
is someone
who goes to church weekly,
not the Christmas
and Easter crowd.
Lousy part-time Protestants.
I go every week
and sleep through mass
like a real Christian.
Homie, this is important to me.
I get it, but can't this wait?
You go find her a godfather!
The classiest person you know.
Hey!
- Wait a minute!
I wasn't watching that!
Guys, this is serious.
I'm looking for a godfather
for my little angel.
Aw, what a cutie.
Let me give her a sip of beer.
Okay, you're out.
If I'm out, Carl's out.
I decide who tells
me what to do. Moe?
You're out, Carl. So, Homer,
I hear you're lookin' for...
You're out. Barney?
- You're out.
- Aw!
Godfather? Well let's see.
I have done a great
job with Ralphie.
Wiggum out.
Don't worry, sweetie. You don't
need a godfather right away.
You're gonna live
a long, long time.
Here's another avoidable death
you've gotten us into.
Fat Tony!
You saved us!
Not I.
It was the Blessed Mother.
You're religious, too.
You'd be a great godfather,
if it weren't for...
If it weren't for what?
Uh... you know...
No, I do not know.
What a cute little bambina.
I accept your offer.
I will be godfather
to your child.
Yeah, but, but, but...
You did offer it to me,
didn't you?
He said it.
We got it all on tape.
I truly appreciate this.
I have nothing innocent
and pure in my life,
but now I have
this sweet little angel.
Great, great.
This'll be just
likeThe Godfather.
- The what?
- You know, the movie
The Godfather.
- Never heard of it.
- It's about a guy like you,
who does what you do.
Which is what?
Um, legitimate business.
He sounds like quite the fellow,
this godfather.
I've seen Shark Tale
and Analyze This,
but that sounds even better.
Fat Tony can't be godfather.
We'd be better off
with Mr. Burns.
I asked him.
He's allergic to new baby smell.
Pardon me for dropping
by unannounced,
but I could not help but notice
that my goddaughter-to-be has
an outdated car seat
facing in the wrong direction.
So, I have taken
the liberty of purchasing you
the most exclusive,
top-of-the-line
car seat:
the Ferrari Protect-a-rossa.
Well, that's very nice, but...
And you, the mama,
will drive her more safely
in this Luxus SUV
I have leased in your name.
It's got everything.
Blindspot monitors...
built-in humidor, a GPS
that doesn't think
it's better than you.
Sure, let's try it your way.
- Oh...
Hmm?
Fat Tony, I'm sorry,
but you can't be the godfather.
Marge, think about this.
Your baby will want
to go to an elite preschool,
a prestigious prep school,
a college with the ivy.
I could help you
with all these things.
You can really do that?
With the soccer coaches
and admissions officers
I have in my pocket
like so many yogurt melties.
We'll play along
until we can get out of it.
Godfather.
Welcome to the family.
Welcome to the family.
Okay, just get through this.
Then you never see
the godparents again.
Always so nice to see you,
Fat Tony.
Is everything okay?
Please, please, say it's okay.
Why you no answering?
I'm a-gonna die!
And I've never been-a to Italy!
Everything's fine.
Ah, I knew it.
Have-a some parmesan.
My hand!
It's-a having a heart attack!
Now, I take my duties
as godfather seriously.
I might almost be intrusive.
Almost.
First, I want to help
with little Margaret's
religious development.
For my first communion,
my sainted mother gave me
this book and ten dollars,
which was a fortune to me.
I never spent it.
Mama!
First, the queen of all saints,
Mary, the only woman in history
who had the ugatz
to be a mother and a virgin.
Actually, the virgin birth
is the doctrine
of traditional Christianity.
Not Protestants.
La beata madre è stata
concepita senza
peccato originale.
Quindi è possibile
che sia madre e vergine.
Oh. Got it.
This is Saint Lucia,
which may or may not be
where my money is.
And this is St. Zeno of Verona,
the saint of learning to speak.
For you, Margaret.
Hmm.
Ah, you got to love
a religion with merch.
Maybe this could work out.
You just enjoy riding
in a safe car for once.
Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!
For the family.
Stop so we can do
the door again.
Whoa, Mama!
D'oh!
I can't believe the boss
has us babysitting.
I broke out of prison for this?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Careful, those babies got those
super sharp fingernails!
Here ya go, Baby Boss.
Mangia. Mangia.
Leave no evidence.
Boss,
Benny down at the liquor store
is late on his payment. Again.
Let me break his kneecaps.
Marone a mi!
You never ever talk that way
in front of a baby.
Uh, uh, okay, uh,
what if we give him
a boo-boo to the brain?
Make him go night-night forever?
Disgusting!
You give the kiss of death
with that mouth?
Now, if you'll excuse me...
I have to take
sweet little Maggie
to Guido and Me class.
I think the boss is
gettin' soft.
Next thing you know,
he'll be startin'
alegitimate
legitimate business!
Eh, I think
you're imagining things.
♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
little star ♪
♪ Let me hotwire you a car ♪
♪ We'll change the plates,
I know a guy ♪
♪ You'll be my little alibi. ♪
You stole my heart.
You little criminal.
Ah, it's-a so sad.
Fat Tony has been
a very good boss.
I have too much respect
for him not to kill him.
Eh, what do you think,
Johnny Tightlips?
I don't want
to do nothin' to nobody.
So... you want to do
somethin' to somebody.
Exactly.
Does Maggie seem different
to you?
I'm worried.
Uh, Marge,
let me put it this way.
We can't be bad parents,
because bad parents can't
get their kid into...
the finest preschool in town!
Maggie has been admitted
to the Preschool
for the Performing Arts?
They have a three-year wait.
Is she in the morning class
or afternoon?
Morning.
- Mm.
I'm afraid we have
an agreement
and you have not held up
your end.
We are going for a ride.
No!
No goddaughter of mine
will miss Sunday service.
Oh, but I'm hungover.
We were gonna go at 1:00 p.m.
I'm afraid there ain't
no 1:00 p.m. no more.
Low attendance whacked it
from the schedule.
I knew it.
You make a deal with the devil,
and look where you wind up.
- Wake up.
Oh, come on, man.
Even the priest is asleep.
Please rise
and open your hymnals.
He said open your book.
♪ You were so right, I'm
a moron, I'm so frightened ♪
♪ Bail us out now,
I am out of ideas. ♪
Look, if we're direct
and say he can't be godfather,
what's the worst
that can happen?
Did you seeThe Godfather?
I saw the wedding part.
Does anything happen after that?
That Carlo seems
like a wonderful husband.
- What are you talking about?
- Uh, Mister Fat?
There's a non-whacking matter
I need to discuss with you.
I also have
to tell you something.
Your daughter is cute, smart,
and sweet as a hung jury.
So I will honor
all of you next Sunday
with tickets to Itchy
and Scratchy's Christmas On Ice.
Now, what did you want
to tell me?
I, um, uh, stall, stall...
play for time...
I wanted to tell you
how great you look in that suit.
Why, thank you.
Why do people have
such difficulty
telling me how great I am?
This is
the first business I've had
where in the back room is
just more of the same.
Thoughts?
Hey, these diaper bags
are great.
You could hide a brick
of nose candy in here.
No, youmezzo arguto paisan!
This is all aboveboard.
I want to be family friendly.
You mean "the family" family?
I mean every family!
Except the Branzinos.
Death to them.
Death to them.
Hey, boss, maybe you can get
your little Maggie one of these.
You would body shame a baby?!
- I've seen enough.
This Sunday we make our move.
Can we make it Saturday?
I got a thing.
-Move your thing.
- I already moved it
for the thing that was cancelled
for the you know what
where we did that thing
we did not do.
That didn't happen
two weeks ago.
You don't know about that!
You don't know
what I don't know.
Um, we certainly appreciate
all you've done for us.
Maggie has all the bling
a toddler could want.
Don't look at me.
They fell off the back
of a tricycle.
What have we done?
Uh, Maggie! What are ya doin'?
I didn't mean it! Maggie!
Fat Tony, get away from my kid!
That's it.
Fine. I see.
Excuse me,
there is an urgent matter
I must attend to.
Homer, can I tell you
a little secret?
- No, no, please don't!
- It's a good secret.
I'm finally getting out of
this terrible business I'm in.
And into the slightly
less cutthroat business
of maternity wear.
I'm gonna get my soul back.
And Maggie is my inspiration.
- Aw.
- Give me one more day
to prove
that I belong in her life.
I'll see what I can do.
Legs! Louie! Get in here!
Dispose of this.
I don't want
to know where or how.
Ain't nobody gonna
find this now.
Uh, marone.
You never forget that smell.
Remember: take the gun.
Leave the Zamboni.
Okay, this is it.
I'm ending it today.
In a public place
with a lot of witnesses.
Well, Fat Tony,
this is really fun,
but where is everyone else?
On the suggestion
of my coworkers,
who only have
my best interests in mind,
I bought out the whole arena
for my dear little Maggie.
No audience means no witnesses!
What's going on?
Fat Tony, I beg you!
Stop being
my daughter's godfather!
If you do, I'll clean for you,
I'll cook for you.
I'll be your mama!
God rest her soul.
I must refuse your offer.
I made a promise to God
to watch your baby.
And he's the only boss
I answer to.
Except that guy in Kansas City.
Oh, no! No!
We're stuck with him forever!
Maggie's in Hell already!
Johnny Tightlips!
This is it, Tony.
You did the worst thing
a mob boss could ever do.
Care about somebody else.
I thought you was
with me on this double cross!
We'll never turn on Tony!
He's my cousin!
I thought he was my cousin!
Well, he's somebody's cousin.
And in this world,
that's what counts.
You would betray me?
No, Maggie, no! I'm sorry!
- That's not me!
- Oh, isn't it?
Oh, my God, you're right.
I cannot change who I am.
Also that maternity store
was a joke.
They look, but don't buy.
But, Maggie, it's not too late
for you to go straight.
I'm stepping back as godfather.
- Finally.
- Thank God.
Oops.
Here's the keys to the SUV.
You have to let go
for me to take them back.
I know, let me just
open the doors one more time.
Maggie, my darling.
Thank you for reminding me
of everything
that's good and sweet
in this world.
And now, ciao bella.
Ew, uh,
before you go... could you?
Just when I thought I was out,
they drag me back in.
I'm not afraid to say it.
If this keeps up,
I'm calling HR.
You mean Harry the Rat?
He's buried right over there.
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
Shh!
- ♪ ♪
Good sir, perchance you would
like to try on
the "categorize cap"
to see which school
of magic most suits thee?
Not today, weirdo.
Congratulations,
you're a Grizzledum!
Yes! Finally!
A hat that respects me!
Don't be too cocky.
That means you're a sworn
enemy of Pufflesnuff.
I hate those guys.
Well, well, well, if it ain't
one of those Grizzledum gits.
Someone had a little too much
bubble and squeak for breakfast.
Don't worry, Dad.
Those are just park employees.
Cool!
Then they can't hit me back.
Oi!
We're seasonal workers.
We can do
as we bloody well please.
Yeah, well, just wait'll
my fellow Grizzledums help me.
I'm known for my stomach aches.
My character was cut
from the movies.
- Aah!
- Get him!
This is a good time
to call Grampa
and see how Maggie's doing.
Carve a lightning
bolt in his head!
Hello, Mabel.
Can I have my dad?
Sure thing, Marge.
Patching you through
to Throwback 7244.
Hey, Marge,
everything is A-okay,
which was a popular slogan
during Martin Van Buren's
election campaign because...
Ooh, thank God
I'm on my anti-rambling meds.
I remember the first day
I went on them.
That's it.
Anyway, Maggie's having fun
with her little friend.
We're at the beach?!
I better put on sunscreen.
♪ ♪
I finally know what it's like
to be a British beverage.
Gently back and forth,
back and forth.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Bart!
Stop playing with the wheel.
Only if Homer buys us something
at the gift shop!
Why do I keep thinking
these places will be fun?
You don't!
It's a place you can be with us
without having to talk to us.
Oh, finally,
a place to spend money.
I'll take three of each wand
plus holsters and the
five-year magic care warranty.
And I'll pick the one
that costs a little extra
because they also give
a wand to a needy child.
Aw.
Listen to her,
purring like a kitten.
Grampa, when was
the last time you saw Maggie?
I just changed her diaper
before I put the cat out.
Uh-oh.
- Maggie!
- Where are you, Mags?
Ask Grampa, maybe he knows.
Simpsons, I don't know
if Heaven's missing an angel,
but I think you might be.
Oh, my sweet baby!
Flanders, I owe ya one.
Well, sir, could you give me
back my Allen wrench?
This guy names his tools.
Grampa, I'm afraid we'll never
ask you to babysit again.
Who says I want to?
You never even pay me!
Well, you can rest easy
knowing if anything did happen,
she has the only insurance
you truly need.
A simple Christian baptism.
Actually,
we haven't gotten around
to baptizing her yet.
You mean
this child could've been
cast into God's basement
of eternal burning,
because you were "too busy"?
We could baptize her soon,
if you want to be the godfather.
Oh, no can-doodily.
I'm already the godfather
to 1,100 children.
Take one of these.
- It'll buzz
when I have an opening.
This is for a baptism?
My wife is Shinto and I worship
the Klingon faith of Ba-a-a-a.
We thought this was
for Tony Roma's.
Good night!
I can't stop thinking
about Maggie not being baptized.
What if...
the unspeakable happens?
Are you saying that just
because we don't splash
a little water on her
she's gonna burn forever?
Sleep well, knowing
current religious thought
is Maggie won't go to Hell.
Although that's
always up for debate.
- Mm.
Hmm.
♪ ♪
Ah! Ah.
Nice and unbaptized.
She'll play
in an unsanitary ball pit
- for all eternity.
And I'm here, too!
And I've got Milhouse
growing on my back.
I'm the front
and you're the back!
- I'm the front!
Ow!
We have
to get Maggie baptized now.
Either Patty or Selma could be
the godmother.
Well, that would insult
one of them.
But I want
to insult both of them.
What we really need
for the godfather
is someone
who goes to church weekly,
not the Christmas
and Easter crowd.
Lousy part-time Protestants.
I go every week
and sleep through mass
like a real Christian.
Homie, this is important to me.
I get it, but can't this wait?
You go find her a godfather!
The classiest person you know.
Hey!
- Wait a minute!
I wasn't watching that!
Guys, this is serious.
I'm looking for a godfather
for my little angel.
Aw, what a cutie.
Let me give her a sip of beer.
Okay, you're out.
If I'm out, Carl's out.
I decide who tells
me what to do. Moe?
You're out, Carl. So, Homer,
I hear you're lookin' for...
You're out. Barney?
- You're out.
- Aw!
Godfather? Well let's see.
I have done a great
job with Ralphie.
Wiggum out.
Don't worry, sweetie. You don't
need a godfather right away.
You're gonna live
a long, long time.
Here's another avoidable death
you've gotten us into.
Fat Tony!
You saved us!
Not I.
It was the Blessed Mother.
You're religious, too.
You'd be a great godfather,
if it weren't for...
If it weren't for what?
Uh... you know...
No, I do not know.
What a cute little bambina.
I accept your offer.
I will be godfather
to your child.
Yeah, but, but, but...
You did offer it to me,
didn't you?
He said it.
We got it all on tape.
I truly appreciate this.
I have nothing innocent
and pure in my life,
but now I have
this sweet little angel.
Great, great.
This'll be just
likeThe Godfather.
- The what?
- You know, the movie
The Godfather.
- Never heard of it.
- It's about a guy like you,
who does what you do.
Which is what?
Um, legitimate business.
He sounds like quite the fellow,
this godfather.
I've seen Shark Tale
and Analyze This,
but that sounds even better.
Fat Tony can't be godfather.
We'd be better off
with Mr. Burns.
I asked him.
He's allergic to new baby smell.
Pardon me for dropping
by unannounced,
but I could not help but notice
that my goddaughter-to-be has
an outdated car seat
facing in the wrong direction.
So, I have taken
the liberty of purchasing you
the most exclusive,
top-of-the-line
car seat:
the Ferrari Protect-a-rossa.
Well, that's very nice, but...
And you, the mama,
will drive her more safely
in this Luxus SUV
I have leased in your name.
It's got everything.
Blindspot monitors...
built-in humidor, a GPS
that doesn't think
it's better than you.
Sure, let's try it your way.
- Oh...
Hmm?
Fat Tony, I'm sorry,
but you can't be the godfather.
Marge, think about this.
Your baby will want
to go to an elite preschool,
a prestigious prep school,
a college with the ivy.
I could help you
with all these things.
You can really do that?
With the soccer coaches
and admissions officers
I have in my pocket
like so many yogurt melties.
We'll play along
until we can get out of it.
Godfather.
Welcome to the family.
Welcome to the family.
Okay, just get through this.
Then you never see
the godparents again.
Always so nice to see you,
Fat Tony.
Is everything okay?
Please, please, say it's okay.
Why you no answering?
I'm a-gonna die!
And I've never been-a to Italy!
Everything's fine.
Ah, I knew it.
Have-a some parmesan.
My hand!
It's-a having a heart attack!
Now, I take my duties
as godfather seriously.
I might almost be intrusive.
Almost.
First, I want to help
with little Margaret's
religious development.
For my first communion,
my sainted mother gave me
this book and ten dollars,
which was a fortune to me.
I never spent it.
Mama!
First, the queen of all saints,
Mary, the only woman in history
who had the ugatz
to be a mother and a virgin.
Actually, the virgin birth
is the doctrine
of traditional Christianity.
Not Protestants.
La beata madre è stata
concepita senza
peccato originale.
Quindi è possibile
che sia madre e vergine.
Oh. Got it.
This is Saint Lucia,
which may or may not be
where my money is.
And this is St. Zeno of Verona,
the saint of learning to speak.
For you, Margaret.
Hmm.
Ah, you got to love
a religion with merch.
Maybe this could work out.
You just enjoy riding
in a safe car for once.
Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!
For the family.
Stop so we can do
the door again.
Whoa, Mama!
D'oh!
I can't believe the boss
has us babysitting.
I broke out of prison for this?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Careful, those babies got those
super sharp fingernails!
Here ya go, Baby Boss.
Mangia. Mangia.
Leave no evidence.
Boss,
Benny down at the liquor store
is late on his payment. Again.
Let me break his kneecaps.
Marone a mi!
You never ever talk that way
in front of a baby.
Uh, uh, okay, uh,
what if we give him
a boo-boo to the brain?
Make him go night-night forever?
Disgusting!
You give the kiss of death
with that mouth?
Now, if you'll excuse me...
I have to take
sweet little Maggie
to Guido and Me class.
I think the boss is
gettin' soft.
Next thing you know,
he'll be startin'
alegitimate
legitimate business!
Eh, I think
you're imagining things.
♪ Twinkle, twinkle,
little star ♪
♪ Let me hotwire you a car ♪
♪ We'll change the plates,
I know a guy ♪
♪ You'll be my little alibi. ♪
You stole my heart.
You little criminal.
Ah, it's-a so sad.
Fat Tony has been
a very good boss.
I have too much respect
for him not to kill him.
Eh, what do you think,
Johnny Tightlips?
I don't want
to do nothin' to nobody.
So... you want to do
somethin' to somebody.
Exactly.
Does Maggie seem different
to you?
I'm worried.
Uh, Marge,
let me put it this way.
We can't be bad parents,
because bad parents can't
get their kid into...
the finest preschool in town!
Maggie has been admitted
to the Preschool
for the Performing Arts?
They have a three-year wait.
Is she in the morning class
or afternoon?
Morning.
- Mm.
I'm afraid we have
an agreement
and you have not held up
your end.
We are going for a ride.
No!
No goddaughter of mine
will miss Sunday service.
Oh, but I'm hungover.
We were gonna go at 1:00 p.m.
I'm afraid there ain't
no 1:00 p.m. no more.
Low attendance whacked it
from the schedule.
I knew it.
You make a deal with the devil,
and look where you wind up.
- Wake up.
Oh, come on, man.
Even the priest is asleep.
Please rise
and open your hymnals.
He said open your book.
♪ You were so right, I'm
a moron, I'm so frightened ♪
♪ Bail us out now,
I am out of ideas. ♪
Look, if we're direct
and say he can't be godfather,
what's the worst
that can happen?
Did you seeThe Godfather?
I saw the wedding part.
Does anything happen after that?
That Carlo seems
like a wonderful husband.
- What are you talking about?
- Uh, Mister Fat?
There's a non-whacking matter
I need to discuss with you.
I also have
to tell you something.
Your daughter is cute, smart,
and sweet as a hung jury.
So I will honor
all of you next Sunday
with tickets to Itchy
and Scratchy's Christmas On Ice.
Now, what did you want
to tell me?
I, um, uh, stall, stall...
play for time...
I wanted to tell you
how great you look in that suit.
Why, thank you.
Why do people have
such difficulty
telling me how great I am?
This is
the first business I've had
where in the back room is
just more of the same.
Thoughts?
Hey, these diaper bags
are great.
You could hide a brick
of nose candy in here.
No, youmezzo arguto paisan!
This is all aboveboard.
I want to be family friendly.
You mean "the family" family?
I mean every family!
Except the Branzinos.
Death to them.
Death to them.
Hey, boss, maybe you can get
your little Maggie one of these.
You would body shame a baby?!
- I've seen enough.
This Sunday we make our move.
Can we make it Saturday?
I got a thing.
-Move your thing.
- I already moved it
for the thing that was cancelled
for the you know what
where we did that thing
we did not do.
That didn't happen
two weeks ago.
You don't know about that!
You don't know
what I don't know.
Um, we certainly appreciate
all you've done for us.
Maggie has all the bling
a toddler could want.
Don't look at me.
They fell off the back
of a tricycle.
What have we done?
Uh, Maggie! What are ya doin'?
I didn't mean it! Maggie!
Fat Tony, get away from my kid!
That's it.
Fine. I see.
Excuse me,
there is an urgent matter
I must attend to.
Homer, can I tell you
a little secret?
- No, no, please don't!
- It's a good secret.
I'm finally getting out of
this terrible business I'm in.
And into the slightly
less cutthroat business
of maternity wear.
I'm gonna get my soul back.
And Maggie is my inspiration.
- Aw.
- Give me one more day
to prove
that I belong in her life.
I'll see what I can do.
Legs! Louie! Get in here!
Dispose of this.
I don't want
to know where or how.
Ain't nobody gonna
find this now.
Uh, marone.
You never forget that smell.
Remember: take the gun.
Leave the Zamboni.
Okay, this is it.
I'm ending it today.
In a public place
with a lot of witnesses.
Well, Fat Tony,
this is really fun,
but where is everyone else?
On the suggestion
of my coworkers,
who only have
my best interests in mind,
I bought out the whole arena
for my dear little Maggie.
No audience means no witnesses!
What's going on?
Fat Tony, I beg you!
Stop being
my daughter's godfather!
If you do, I'll clean for you,
I'll cook for you.
I'll be your mama!
God rest her soul.
I must refuse your offer.
I made a promise to God
to watch your baby.
And he's the only boss
I answer to.
Except that guy in Kansas City.
Oh, no! No!
We're stuck with him forever!
Maggie's in Hell already!
Johnny Tightlips!
This is it, Tony.
You did the worst thing
a mob boss could ever do.
Care about somebody else.
I thought you was
with me on this double cross!
We'll never turn on Tony!
He's my cousin!
I thought he was my cousin!
Well, he's somebody's cousin.
And in this world,
that's what counts.
You would betray me?
No, Maggie, no! I'm sorry!
- That's not me!
- Oh, isn't it?
Oh, my God, you're right.
I cannot change who I am.
Also that maternity store
was a joke.
They look, but don't buy.
But, Maggie, it's not too late
for you to go straight.
I'm stepping back as godfather.
- Finally.
- Thank God.
Oops.
Here's the keys to the SUV.
You have to let go
for me to take them back.
I know, let me just
open the doors one more time.
Maggie, my darling.
Thank you for reminding me
of everything
that's good and sweet
in this world.
And now, ciao bella.
Ew, uh,
before you go... could you?
Just when I thought I was out,
they drag me back in.
I'm not afraid to say it.
If this keeps up,
I'm calling HR.
You mean Harry the Rat?
He's buried right over there.
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