The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 33, Episode 9 - Mothers and Other Strangers - full transcript
In a flashback to his teen years, Homer goes on a road trip with his father to search for his mother.
♪ ♪
Boring.
Boring.
Boring. Boring. Boring.
Seen it.
Lived it.
Looks like you've
discovered Muttflix, Bart.
The premium cable channel
made for dogs.
♪ ♪
They show short scenes from
a canine point of view.
It's to a dog's eyes
what opening a can of
dog food is to their ears.
Shh!
Squirrel.
Hmm.
♪ I love my dog ♪
♪ As much as I love you ♪
♪ But you may fade... ♪
And they say there's no good
TV show ideas anymore.
Your dog bit me.
Made my day.
♪ Nananananana, nana. ♪
Ah, what's she doing here?
Santa's Little Helper
wanted to invite
his mom over since
it's Mother's Day.
Mother's Day...
Aww...
So sweet.
Did you say it's Mother's Day?
Oh, Mom.
We haven't forgotten you.
Guess what I've got.
A mug I made at school!
Oh. Great. Thanks.
And, Mom, although I believe
Mother's Day is a B.S. holiday
unlike true holidays,
like my half birthday
or May the Fourth Be With You
I, too, made you a mug.
Oh.
Thank you for trying.
Oh.
Nothing in this world
beats a baby's kiss.
:
Thinks she's so cute.
How do you tell someone
who doesn't talk to shut up?
Kids, I love all
your presents and...
Homer?
Uh...
This is the one holiday
that means something to me.
Well, I was gonna make you
breakfast in bed,
but you know the food
always comes out bad...
Ugh, so bad.
And we always leave
a mess in the kitchen,
which is worse than making
no breakfast at all.
Basically we're idiots.
Hmm. Where is this going?
So I thought, why not get you
a nice picture frame instead?
It'll last longer
than a breakfast
and I carefully chose a picture
of all the kids...
and...pour vous.
Aw, that is nice.
What is it, Dad?
What's wrong?
It's... it's just...
Homer, it's your mother.
This image is all
you've got left of me.
And it's starting to get
a little fuzzier each year.
Mom.
If only I could kiss
your fuzzy face.
Same cold nose,
but not the same.
I miss you, Mom.
Oh, my God! Dad's reliving
the great tragedy of his life.
And that is?
Losing your mother.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, Homer.
Nothing can replace your mom.
But you do have your father.
Let it out, Dad.
Studies show losing a parent
is the most traumatic thing
that can happen to a child.
What a sad thing to say.
When Homer croaks we're gonna
have to spring for
an XXL elephant coffin.
Not funny, Bart.
Hey, the cat liked it.
Dad, maybe you should
get some therapy.
Mm... Oh.
I just don't know if we can
afford more mental health.
Don't worry, Mom.
Thanks to the app store,
there's a solution
to everything.
Nutz, the therapy app.
Woohoo!
I can confront
my grief on the john!
Welcome to Nutz,
the app that can
process your loss,
talk you down from highs,
pick you up from lows,
maintain your mediums,
and find CBD gummies
in the shape of
your version of God.
Fix my brain.
"Nature of grief?"
"Loss of mother."
"Age of loss?"
"Nine years old."
"Are you a robot?"
I wish.
Okay, people.
Let's earn those PhDs.
Who wants "lost his mother"?
Lost his mother?
Oh, come on,
that's a premium disorder.
You can't make him worse.
I'll take it.
Okay, we've also got a jumper,
a bedwetter,
and a guy
who's still messed up
because
the Patriots traded Brady.
And remember,
if you get 'em to cry,
you get a turn
in the cash tornado.
Hello, Homer.
Ooh!
Please enter date of loss.
I wrote this on the liquor
cabinet so you would see it.
I am wanted by the FBI
and leaving forever.
Abe! Put down the booze
and take care of Homer.
Go to him.
Be gentle and sensitive.
Strong and... Absolut Vodka.
Now you're just
reading the label.
When's Mommy coming back?
She's not.
Why not?
Uh... she's dead.
That oughta hold him.
That must have been rough.
But I know something
that could help.
Simply...
Press button to pay
another 99 cents.
Think back...
back to when
you first realized
you didn't really know
what happened to your mother.
I was 16.
I had just learned to drive.
:
Same time tomorrow.
Well, well, well.
Firsttime driver, eh?
Well, this is my first case.
And I'm doin' this by the book.
Which, uh, I left
back at the station.
So, uh... Yeah.
I better go get it.
Donuts? What are those?
I better investigate.
Hmm?
She's alive!
She's alive.
Who's alive?
No one!
And I'm going to find her.
♪ ♪
Letting that postcard
go through
was the smartest thing
we ever did.
Yeah. That kid's gonna lead us
right to Mona Simpson.
My mom's alive.
I'm so mad at her and my dad.
This is the greatest day
of my life!
Oh, why did I get
a lifetime subscription?
Hey, how do ya sell these,
anyway?
By the dozen.
Hoo boy. Mmm.
♪ ♪
Now that you know
your mother had left you,
how did you deal with the fact
that it was all your fault?
Wait. What?
ThThat can't be right.
Congratulations.
You have been upgraded
to a much better therapist.
Pay $2.99 to accept.
Hoo boy.
Mr. Simpson,
when you found out
your mother was alive,
were you conflicted?
I decided it was time
my father and I had a talk
about what really happened
to my mother.
You told me Mom was dead!
She is.
Why wasn't there a funeral?
There was too much going on.
My wife just died,
for God's sake.
Dad, there's something you're
not telling me about Mom.
Well, son,
when a man and a woman
love each other very much,
they want to make a baby
that is immediately
a source of huge conflict.
Not that. Where is she?
Well, the truth is,
I don't exactly know
what happened
to your mother.
She's alive
and wanted by the FBI
for some radical
hippie nonsense.
When she said "outta sight,"
she wasn't kidding around.
Why did you lie?
To protect you.
Protect me from what?
To protect you from a woman
who didn't love me enough!
Oh, my God,
I wasn't protecting you,
I was protecting me.
From the shame
of a wife who left.
Because I never gave her
what she wanted most,
which was to leave me.
And as TV shows have
shown us again and again,
that moment
of selfrealization is
all it takes
to cure my alcoholism.
Yippee!
God bless ya, son!
You and I have each other
and that's all we'll ever need.
Oh.
This isn't over.
What did you just think?
You heard me!
That must have been difficult.
How did you deal
with your grief?
I tried everything.
I went to
the guidance counselor.
I'm torn up inside.
Have you considered the Army?
They're always looking for
angry, messedup young men.
No, thank you!
I went to the church.
It didn't help.
I lost my mother
and I can't get rid of the pain.
Have you considered
another religion? Hmm?
Then one night,
I came to a decision.
Why did she go to Utah?
Every kid there already has
more moms than they need.
I never even got
to give this to her.
Who knows where she ranks now?
I'm gonna find my mother.
So one day I set out on my own.
♪ ♪
Where the hell
do you think you're going?
Old Man Simpson!
I'm here to stop you, son.
You remember your mom
as a perfect woman.
But... I hate to say this...
she wasn't perfect.
She hogged the blankets
something awful.
She had a hardtoremember
birthday.
Please, Dad. I need to know
what happened to her.
Oh, I can't say no
to that face.
I think everything's gonna
be better from now on.
Just drive!
As my father
and I drove fatefully
through the badlands of Utah,
our relationship
grew deeper and closer
than ever before.
Say, boy,
are you lefthanded or right?
Right.
I never knew that.
Do you like books or TV?
TV.
Me, too!
You've answered all
my questions. Let's eat.
Can I help you boys?
I'm lookin' for my exwife.
Aw. Well, when was
the last time you saw her?
Seven years ago.
Trust me, it's over.
Just tell me if you've seen her!
I seen a runaway rose
like her workin' a gas 'n' go
near the slot canyons.
Who wants to know?
Let's just say a man
who's had his heart broken
and a boy whose
closest thing to a mother
was the lady on the bottle
of maple syrup.
Hmm.
I see.
You look lonely, cowboy.
Well,
only if you consider "lonely"
being without companionship
of any kind
for 2,600 days.
Well, some of us get
pretty lonesome, too,
when the night comes
and your double wide
seems double empty.
Hint, hint.
Oh, I hear ya.
But I got the boy with me.
So we'll skip the first date
that starts awkward
but ends with potential,
the second date
where we hit it off,
the third date
where you find out
beneath my crusty exterior
is some sweet apple pie,
and skip right to the part
where we break up
because I gotta take
my son to his mother.
Aw. We had some good times,
didn't we?
Yeah, we sure did.
♪ ♪
Mm. Oh, Mona.
Hey, I thought
you stopped drinking.
I stopped drinking at night.
Oh, here comes the remorse.
Oh...
♪ ♪
9,094...
9,095...
9,096 stars in the sky.
I think you missed that one.
D'oh!
One, two, three...
Ah, so peaceful.
It reminds me of
another night when the sky
looked just like this...
I'm gonna tell you
a war story, son.
A story of patriotism,
sacrifice,
and sexy ladies drawn on planes.
I was trapped in a foxhole
with my best friend Charlie...
Abe, I got a funny feeling...
I ain't gonna make it.
That's crazy talk!
Uh...
did you always
not have a bottom half?
I just got one request.
Tied to my dog tags is
a picture of my gal, Clara.
Take 'em to her.
Tell her I used up
my last breath
sayin' her name.
Clara.
Ooh.
Uhoh.
Let that be a lesson
to you, boy.
Don't procrastinate.
So it's good
we're lookin' for your ma.
And I'm passin'
these dog tags along to you.
Aw.
It's your job now, son.
Boy, somewhere there's
a hundredyearold woman
waiting for ya.
We Simpson men
won't let her down!
Uh, I'm sorry, I digress.
Never be afraid to digress.
Some of the best insights
come that way.
Oh, is it digression you want?
Well, you know, shoes didn't
always have tongues...
Not from you.
Oh...
Homer, so you were
closing in on your mother.
Did that bring up any fears?
Did it?
Did it?
Yes.
Would she still love me
as much as she did
when she left me forever?
I mean, it's a pretty low bar.
How old is your boy?
16.
Oh, I thought so.
I always cry at any boy
between 12 and 20.
I have a son that age.
Haven't seen him in years.
It's heartbreaking.
I don't know if I'll ever
Oh, there he is.
Can that really be
my little Homer?
D'oh!
It's him!
Mom?
: Homer!
I miss you so much!
Such a beautiful voice.
:
Wait right there.
Here I come. I love you.
Mm.
FBI!
How did she spot us?
Mom...?
♪ ♪
If I find her,
we'll be a family again.
With the yelling,
and the resentment,
and the slamming doors.
It'll be wonderful.
D'oh! Son!
I can't get through!
Oh, forget me.
Just go ahead.
Hurry. If you don't go soon,
you'll lose her forever.
♪ ♪
No!
You didn't leave me, Dad.
I can't leave you.
You came back... for me?
Yes.
I love you, Dad.
I love you too, boy.
But that was a dumb choice
you just made.
FBI. Official business.
Sir, put your son down
and kick him in front of you.
Never!
What the...
Watch it!
That part ain't for grabbin'!
I thought you guys were
untouchable get off me!
Help! Police!
Where you goin', lady?
Anywhere you are.
To San Francisco!
Till it gentrifies.
You ever think of all the
violent criminals going free
while we were chasing
after this one woman?
That's why I don't
read the papers.
Smart.
We never found Mona. Oh...
You know, I just realized
I could have found her,
waited, then gone back for you
and I would have had everything.
Woulda coulda shouda, loser.
Misbehaving child?
Check out our list
of pacifying drugs.
♪ ♪
Oh, boy, that's really sad.
That's it, boy.
Deal with feelings
like I taught you.
That must have
been so confusing.
You actually found your mom,
then lost her again.
That's right.
Misery piled on misery.
A sevenlayer dip of woe.
And that's how
I met your mother.
Aw.
Who turned everything around.
That is fantastic.
And since you know
that she'll always be there,
you don't have to be afraid
of abandonment.
You're right.
What a great therapist.
DeleteWait, what?
I warned you about
solving people's problems.
He was so simple II just
couldn't stretch it out.
You're fired.
Put that coffee down.
You have major hostility
and control issues.
Byebye!
But there's a little more
to the story.
Something
I've never told anyone.
It happened when
Bart was born...
Homer, would you like
to cut the cord?
My pleasure.
What the... It's so tough
you can't cut it.
Why is this like...
Why, you little...
Such a beautiful moment.
More morphine, sweetie?
Oh, no, thank you.
You sure? It's free.
Mm.... Maybe just a little
for mama.
What the... Hey.
He's mooning me.
Newborns don't moon people.
: Everything I need
is in this room.
♪ ♪
I'm the...
pediatrician.
Just want to take
a look at your boy.
So beautiful.
Really? Don't you see
a lot of these?
Not one that's my grandson.
Mom?
When I heard about the baby,
I just had to come and see him.
But I can't stay.
Just know
I'm always with you in here.
I guess that'll have to do.
:
I even miss you sometimes.
Wait! Doctor! Let's talk!
Was it a dream?
There's no way I'll ever know.
It wasn't a dream.
I was there.
There's no reliable way
I'll ever know.
Either way, Dad, it's wonderful.
You have found closure.
Closure. Disclaimer:
Closure is no longer considered
a valid psychological construct.
Closure!
This is the best
Mother's Day ever.
Aw...
Aw...
Or it will be the best
Mother's Day ever.
Once I take your mother to
the finest restaurant in town.
Where I actually
made reservations.
This is the best
Mother's Day ever!
Everything I need
is in this room.
Sir, this is not a buffet.
Please stay out of the kitchen.
When a sign says "brunch,"
I brunch.
Honey, can we
have dinner
on the floor tonight?
No.
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
♪ ♪
Mom?
♪ ♪
D'oh!
♪ ♪
Shh!
Boring.
Boring.
Boring. Boring. Boring.
Seen it.
Lived it.
Looks like you've
discovered Muttflix, Bart.
The premium cable channel
made for dogs.
♪ ♪
They show short scenes from
a canine point of view.
It's to a dog's eyes
what opening a can of
dog food is to their ears.
Shh!
Squirrel.
Hmm.
♪ I love my dog ♪
♪ As much as I love you ♪
♪ But you may fade... ♪
And they say there's no good
TV show ideas anymore.
Your dog bit me.
Made my day.
♪ Nananananana, nana. ♪
Ah, what's she doing here?
Santa's Little Helper
wanted to invite
his mom over since
it's Mother's Day.
Mother's Day...
Aww...
So sweet.
Did you say it's Mother's Day?
Oh, Mom.
We haven't forgotten you.
Guess what I've got.
A mug I made at school!
Oh. Great. Thanks.
And, Mom, although I believe
Mother's Day is a B.S. holiday
unlike true holidays,
like my half birthday
or May the Fourth Be With You
I, too, made you a mug.
Oh.
Thank you for trying.
Oh.
Nothing in this world
beats a baby's kiss.
:
Thinks she's so cute.
How do you tell someone
who doesn't talk to shut up?
Kids, I love all
your presents and...
Homer?
Uh...
This is the one holiday
that means something to me.
Well, I was gonna make you
breakfast in bed,
but you know the food
always comes out bad...
Ugh, so bad.
And we always leave
a mess in the kitchen,
which is worse than making
no breakfast at all.
Basically we're idiots.
Hmm. Where is this going?
So I thought, why not get you
a nice picture frame instead?
It'll last longer
than a breakfast
and I carefully chose a picture
of all the kids...
and...pour vous.
Aw, that is nice.
What is it, Dad?
What's wrong?
It's... it's just...
Homer, it's your mother.
This image is all
you've got left of me.
And it's starting to get
a little fuzzier each year.
Mom.
If only I could kiss
your fuzzy face.
Same cold nose,
but not the same.
I miss you, Mom.
Oh, my God! Dad's reliving
the great tragedy of his life.
And that is?
Losing your mother.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, Homer.
Nothing can replace your mom.
But you do have your father.
Let it out, Dad.
Studies show losing a parent
is the most traumatic thing
that can happen to a child.
What a sad thing to say.
When Homer croaks we're gonna
have to spring for
an XXL elephant coffin.
Not funny, Bart.
Hey, the cat liked it.
Dad, maybe you should
get some therapy.
Mm... Oh.
I just don't know if we can
afford more mental health.
Don't worry, Mom.
Thanks to the app store,
there's a solution
to everything.
Nutz, the therapy app.
Woohoo!
I can confront
my grief on the john!
Welcome to Nutz,
the app that can
process your loss,
talk you down from highs,
pick you up from lows,
maintain your mediums,
and find CBD gummies
in the shape of
your version of God.
Fix my brain.
"Nature of grief?"
"Loss of mother."
"Age of loss?"
"Nine years old."
"Are you a robot?"
I wish.
Okay, people.
Let's earn those PhDs.
Who wants "lost his mother"?
Lost his mother?
Oh, come on,
that's a premium disorder.
You can't make him worse.
I'll take it.
Okay, we've also got a jumper,
a bedwetter,
and a guy
who's still messed up
because
the Patriots traded Brady.
And remember,
if you get 'em to cry,
you get a turn
in the cash tornado.
Hello, Homer.
Ooh!
Please enter date of loss.
I wrote this on the liquor
cabinet so you would see it.
I am wanted by the FBI
and leaving forever.
Abe! Put down the booze
and take care of Homer.
Go to him.
Be gentle and sensitive.
Strong and... Absolut Vodka.
Now you're just
reading the label.
When's Mommy coming back?
She's not.
Why not?
Uh... she's dead.
That oughta hold him.
That must have been rough.
But I know something
that could help.
Simply...
Press button to pay
another 99 cents.
Think back...
back to when
you first realized
you didn't really know
what happened to your mother.
I was 16.
I had just learned to drive.
:
Same time tomorrow.
Well, well, well.
Firsttime driver, eh?
Well, this is my first case.
And I'm doin' this by the book.
Which, uh, I left
back at the station.
So, uh... Yeah.
I better go get it.
Donuts? What are those?
I better investigate.
Hmm?
She's alive!
She's alive.
Who's alive?
No one!
And I'm going to find her.
♪ ♪
Letting that postcard
go through
was the smartest thing
we ever did.
Yeah. That kid's gonna lead us
right to Mona Simpson.
My mom's alive.
I'm so mad at her and my dad.
This is the greatest day
of my life!
Oh, why did I get
a lifetime subscription?
Hey, how do ya sell these,
anyway?
By the dozen.
Hoo boy. Mmm.
♪ ♪
Now that you know
your mother had left you,
how did you deal with the fact
that it was all your fault?
Wait. What?
ThThat can't be right.
Congratulations.
You have been upgraded
to a much better therapist.
Pay $2.99 to accept.
Hoo boy.
Mr. Simpson,
when you found out
your mother was alive,
were you conflicted?
I decided it was time
my father and I had a talk
about what really happened
to my mother.
You told me Mom was dead!
She is.
Why wasn't there a funeral?
There was too much going on.
My wife just died,
for God's sake.
Dad, there's something you're
not telling me about Mom.
Well, son,
when a man and a woman
love each other very much,
they want to make a baby
that is immediately
a source of huge conflict.
Not that. Where is she?
Well, the truth is,
I don't exactly know
what happened
to your mother.
She's alive
and wanted by the FBI
for some radical
hippie nonsense.
When she said "outta sight,"
she wasn't kidding around.
Why did you lie?
To protect you.
Protect me from what?
To protect you from a woman
who didn't love me enough!
Oh, my God,
I wasn't protecting you,
I was protecting me.
From the shame
of a wife who left.
Because I never gave her
what she wanted most,
which was to leave me.
And as TV shows have
shown us again and again,
that moment
of selfrealization is
all it takes
to cure my alcoholism.
Yippee!
God bless ya, son!
You and I have each other
and that's all we'll ever need.
Oh.
This isn't over.
What did you just think?
You heard me!
That must have been difficult.
How did you deal
with your grief?
I tried everything.
I went to
the guidance counselor.
I'm torn up inside.
Have you considered the Army?
They're always looking for
angry, messedup young men.
No, thank you!
I went to the church.
It didn't help.
I lost my mother
and I can't get rid of the pain.
Have you considered
another religion? Hmm?
Then one night,
I came to a decision.
Why did she go to Utah?
Every kid there already has
more moms than they need.
I never even got
to give this to her.
Who knows where she ranks now?
I'm gonna find my mother.
So one day I set out on my own.
♪ ♪
Where the hell
do you think you're going?
Old Man Simpson!
I'm here to stop you, son.
You remember your mom
as a perfect woman.
But... I hate to say this...
she wasn't perfect.
She hogged the blankets
something awful.
She had a hardtoremember
birthday.
Please, Dad. I need to know
what happened to her.
Oh, I can't say no
to that face.
I think everything's gonna
be better from now on.
Just drive!
As my father
and I drove fatefully
through the badlands of Utah,
our relationship
grew deeper and closer
than ever before.
Say, boy,
are you lefthanded or right?
Right.
I never knew that.
Do you like books or TV?
TV.
Me, too!
You've answered all
my questions. Let's eat.
Can I help you boys?
I'm lookin' for my exwife.
Aw. Well, when was
the last time you saw her?
Seven years ago.
Trust me, it's over.
Just tell me if you've seen her!
I seen a runaway rose
like her workin' a gas 'n' go
near the slot canyons.
Who wants to know?
Let's just say a man
who's had his heart broken
and a boy whose
closest thing to a mother
was the lady on the bottle
of maple syrup.
Hmm.
I see.
You look lonely, cowboy.
Well,
only if you consider "lonely"
being without companionship
of any kind
for 2,600 days.
Well, some of us get
pretty lonesome, too,
when the night comes
and your double wide
seems double empty.
Hint, hint.
Oh, I hear ya.
But I got the boy with me.
So we'll skip the first date
that starts awkward
but ends with potential,
the second date
where we hit it off,
the third date
where you find out
beneath my crusty exterior
is some sweet apple pie,
and skip right to the part
where we break up
because I gotta take
my son to his mother.
Aw. We had some good times,
didn't we?
Yeah, we sure did.
♪ ♪
Mm. Oh, Mona.
Hey, I thought
you stopped drinking.
I stopped drinking at night.
Oh, here comes the remorse.
Oh...
♪ ♪
9,094...
9,095...
9,096 stars in the sky.
I think you missed that one.
D'oh!
One, two, three...
Ah, so peaceful.
It reminds me of
another night when the sky
looked just like this...
I'm gonna tell you
a war story, son.
A story of patriotism,
sacrifice,
and sexy ladies drawn on planes.
I was trapped in a foxhole
with my best friend Charlie...
Abe, I got a funny feeling...
I ain't gonna make it.
That's crazy talk!
Uh...
did you always
not have a bottom half?
I just got one request.
Tied to my dog tags is
a picture of my gal, Clara.
Take 'em to her.
Tell her I used up
my last breath
sayin' her name.
Clara.
Ooh.
Uhoh.
Let that be a lesson
to you, boy.
Don't procrastinate.
So it's good
we're lookin' for your ma.
And I'm passin'
these dog tags along to you.
Aw.
It's your job now, son.
Boy, somewhere there's
a hundredyearold woman
waiting for ya.
We Simpson men
won't let her down!
Uh, I'm sorry, I digress.
Never be afraid to digress.
Some of the best insights
come that way.
Oh, is it digression you want?
Well, you know, shoes didn't
always have tongues...
Not from you.
Oh...
Homer, so you were
closing in on your mother.
Did that bring up any fears?
Did it?
Did it?
Yes.
Would she still love me
as much as she did
when she left me forever?
I mean, it's a pretty low bar.
How old is your boy?
16.
Oh, I thought so.
I always cry at any boy
between 12 and 20.
I have a son that age.
Haven't seen him in years.
It's heartbreaking.
I don't know if I'll ever
Oh, there he is.
Can that really be
my little Homer?
D'oh!
It's him!
Mom?
: Homer!
I miss you so much!
Such a beautiful voice.
:
Wait right there.
Here I come. I love you.
Mm.
FBI!
How did she spot us?
Mom...?
♪ ♪
If I find her,
we'll be a family again.
With the yelling,
and the resentment,
and the slamming doors.
It'll be wonderful.
D'oh! Son!
I can't get through!
Oh, forget me.
Just go ahead.
Hurry. If you don't go soon,
you'll lose her forever.
♪ ♪
No!
You didn't leave me, Dad.
I can't leave you.
You came back... for me?
Yes.
I love you, Dad.
I love you too, boy.
But that was a dumb choice
you just made.
FBI. Official business.
Sir, put your son down
and kick him in front of you.
Never!
What the...
Watch it!
That part ain't for grabbin'!
I thought you guys were
untouchable get off me!
Help! Police!
Where you goin', lady?
Anywhere you are.
To San Francisco!
Till it gentrifies.
You ever think of all the
violent criminals going free
while we were chasing
after this one woman?
That's why I don't
read the papers.
Smart.
We never found Mona. Oh...
You know, I just realized
I could have found her,
waited, then gone back for you
and I would have had everything.
Woulda coulda shouda, loser.
Misbehaving child?
Check out our list
of pacifying drugs.
♪ ♪
Oh, boy, that's really sad.
That's it, boy.
Deal with feelings
like I taught you.
That must have
been so confusing.
You actually found your mom,
then lost her again.
That's right.
Misery piled on misery.
A sevenlayer dip of woe.
And that's how
I met your mother.
Aw.
Who turned everything around.
That is fantastic.
And since you know
that she'll always be there,
you don't have to be afraid
of abandonment.
You're right.
What a great therapist.
DeleteWait, what?
I warned you about
solving people's problems.
He was so simple II just
couldn't stretch it out.
You're fired.
Put that coffee down.
You have major hostility
and control issues.
Byebye!
But there's a little more
to the story.
Something
I've never told anyone.
It happened when
Bart was born...
Homer, would you like
to cut the cord?
My pleasure.
What the... It's so tough
you can't cut it.
Why is this like...
Why, you little...
Such a beautiful moment.
More morphine, sweetie?
Oh, no, thank you.
You sure? It's free.
Mm.... Maybe just a little
for mama.
What the... Hey.
He's mooning me.
Newborns don't moon people.
: Everything I need
is in this room.
♪ ♪
I'm the...
pediatrician.
Just want to take
a look at your boy.
So beautiful.
Really? Don't you see
a lot of these?
Not one that's my grandson.
Mom?
When I heard about the baby,
I just had to come and see him.
But I can't stay.
Just know
I'm always with you in here.
I guess that'll have to do.
:
I even miss you sometimes.
Wait! Doctor! Let's talk!
Was it a dream?
There's no way I'll ever know.
It wasn't a dream.
I was there.
There's no reliable way
I'll ever know.
Either way, Dad, it's wonderful.
You have found closure.
Closure. Disclaimer:
Closure is no longer considered
a valid psychological construct.
Closure!
This is the best
Mother's Day ever.
Aw...
Aw...
Or it will be the best
Mother's Day ever.
Once I take your mother to
the finest restaurant in town.
Where I actually
made reservations.
This is the best
Mother's Day ever!
Everything I need
is in this room.
Sir, this is not a buffet.
Please stay out of the kitchen.
When a sign says "brunch,"
I brunch.
Honey, can we
have dinner
on the floor tonight?
No.
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
♪ ♪
Mom?
♪ ♪
D'oh!
♪ ♪
Shh!