The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 26, Episode 6 - Simpsorama - full transcript
After the Springfieldians have buried a time capsule a freak storm brings Bender, the robot from 'Futurama' from the future to kill Homer but he befriends him instead. Other Futurama characters then appear and point out that they must kill Bart because, due to the time capsule, he has given rise to mutant rabbits which will destroy New New York. The answer is for the Simpsons to go into the future and round up the mutants and send them into space.
(Futurama theme plays)
♪ Two... two, three... ♪
Ooh. Wiggle in.
- Get comfortable.
- (Marge yells)
Hey, a couch is a couch.
(grunts)
Ooh, yeah.
(sexy lounge music playing)
(chuckling)
- (moaning)
- Yes, there, you see?
- Oh, yeah!
- (giggles)
- (laughing)
- Oh-ho-ho-ho!
That's so...
HOMER:
Whoo-hoo!
♪ The Simpsons 26x06 ♪
Simpsorama
Original Air Date on November 9, 2014
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
SKINNER: Uh, students, each
one of you has been assigned
the mandatory honor of contributing
to the Springfield time capsule,
where your arcana will lie
dormant until the 31st century.
And... (grunts)
By the time you finish talking, we're
gonna be opening this damn capsule.
Right. Time capsule.
Nelson, give me something.
I brought a picture
of my dad.
He's still at large...
(voice breaks):
In my heart!
I brought
my lucky rabbit's foot.
I can have good luck
without it.
(gasps)
Ow!
Wish we could put this moment
in the time capsule.
Consider it done.
Uh, how about you, Bart?
Let me guess-- you forgot
to bring something.
I'm offended you
think I forgot.
Let's see.
Ta-da!
Listen, boy, this is the only
legacy you'll ever leave.
Better make this count.
(blows nose)
(gasps)
My sandwich!
(devious chuckle)
And so a thousand years from now
this capsule will be opened
by some future Mayor Quimby.
(crowd cheers)
That-that could be
anyone's ooze.
(truck backup alarm beeping)
(grunts)
There.
And now, to help
secure the jazz vote,
Lisa Simpson will
play her saxophone.
♪ ♪
(thunder crashes)
Even God hates jazz.
(thunder rumbling)
KENT BROCKMAN:
A mysterious electrical storm
is currently wreaking havoc
with our studio.
(chuckles): But I'm not one
of those brainless dolts
who mindlessly reads
a teleprompter-er...
error 401 backslash backslash colon
reset C-drive shutting down.
(electrical zapping)
(male screaming)
(crash)
(grunts)
What the hell was that?
Probably just another piece of America's
space junk falling out of orbit.
Remember when this
country didn't suck?
'Cause I don't.
(thunder crashing)
(loud glugging in distance)
(loud belch)
(glass shatters)
(gasps)
Homer, I think there's
someone downstairs.
Relax, Marge.
It's probably just Homer
coming home late from Moe's.
Hmm.
Ooh, the eyes in that picture
are following me!
Uh, that's a mirror.
Isn't all great art
kind of a mirror?
(door creaks)
(deep belching nearby)
We'd better send
the dog down.
Come on, here's your chance
to protect us, boy.
- (whining)
- Come on. C...
- (growls)
- Aah!
Stupid dog.
(growling)
Ow!
(clattering in distance)
MALE VOICE:
Ow.
We'll have to set
a trap, Bait--
I mean, Bart.
HOMER:
All set.
When he starts gnawing at you,
I'll whack him with this broom.
(gasps)
Hmm.
Ooh! (chuckles)
Don't drink my loved ones!
Oh! Bite my shiny metal ass!
A robot!
With a catchphrase!
Hey, Homer, you gonna kiss him
or kill him?
- (grunts)
- (yells)
All right!
Tether-boy!
- (grunting)
- (grunting)
(yelling)
(Bender chuckles)
Okay, so, what are you?
Must be a secret
government project.
Whoa, what do
I look like, a narc?
My name is Bender,
and I come from...
the future!
Prove it. What happens to
Homer Simpson in the future?
I don't know.
You die?
Oh... my... God.
He's telling the truth. I have to
take you to our civic leaders.
(deep belch)
Hey, hibachi head, how are
you gonna pay for that?
Uh, let me just
transfer some, uh,
electronic hyper-credits
into your register here.
Ding-da-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
Ooh, and, uh, another round for my friends!
Ding-da-ding-ding-
da-ding-ding.
(others cheer)
(chuckles): Hey,
this blade rummy is all right.
He's a big spender,
plus he fixed the jukebox.
(quietly): I think
they had a thing going.
♪ Oh, baby,
what you done to me... ♪
(needle scratches record)
I hate it when
they get quiet.
Listen, uh, I know you're a robot
and incapable of emotion...
(sobbing)
(sobbing):
It's true.
I'm empty inside!
(sobbing loudly)
- Uh, look, I just want to
ask, can we be friends? - Ooh.
You're the only guy I know
with less hair than me.
Sure. That's why
I came to your time--
for all you know.
OTHERS:
For all we know!
(chuckling)
D'oh!
(mechanical whirring)
A, uh, strike!
A totally legitimate strike!
Yeah!
(chuckles)
Hey, uh, what's the robot
version of bro-Mance?
Ro-Mance.
You future guys have a word
for everything... pal.
(both snoring)
You know, they look
a little similar.
Yeah. Like the guy who designed
Bender just took a drawing of Dad
and stuck an
antenna on it.
LISA: A little lazy,
if you ask me.
Regardless, I see no reason to believe
that Bender is from the future.
Robotic technology today
is very advanced.
Oh, really?
Can your modern-day
robots do this?
("The Stars and Stripes Forever"
playing)
It's not my birthday-- although
Maggie's is pretty soon.
I can't do "Maggie."
The Gs look like sixes.
This is the robot who claims
to be from the future.
Can your present-day
robots do this?
(babbling)
Uh, no, no, they cannot.
Not sure why they'd
want to-- gorbid.
Now, why are you here?
What is your mission,
uh, so to speak?
I don't remember.
Man, this guy doesn't ask permission--
he just goes right in you.
Eh... aha!
Bender's mission protocol
is definitely intact.
It just requires a delicate procedure
known as "unplug and re-plug."
(chuckles, mumbles)
Because that fixes
everything.
(whirring)
I remember why I'm here!
To kill Homer Simpson!
(gasps)
(singsongy): My ears are burning.
(singsongy):
Not yet, but they will be.
(yelps)
A boxing glove!
But we bowled together.
Aw, I can't do it.
What stopped you, Bender,
Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
You think robots care what some
hack science fiction writer thinks?
I killed Isaac Asimov
on the way over here.
Well, Isaac somebody.
What the...? My ass
is about to project something.
(loud whisper): You don't have
to announce it.
Just do it quietly
and blame the dog.
Bender, we've just
regained contact.
Have you killed
Homer Simpson?
Uh, yep. Killed him good.
If Homer's dead, why are
the creatures he begat
still here and multiplying
out of control?
(all chattering angrily)
What the...?
You lied to me, Bender!
Homer Simpson's
still alive!
Come on, Bender,
stabbity-stabbity.
Wait! Stop! Why must
you kill my dad?
Especially when cheeseburgers
are doing the work for you.
Homer Simpson must be
eliminated immediately.
The creatures destroying
New New York have his DNA.
The monsters are stealing
our office supplies!
That's inexcusable!
Gah!
Um...
Hello, robot.
Looks like everyone gets
a turn to say something.
This concludes my turn.
We sent Bender back
in time to kill Homer
before the monsters
could evolve from him.
Apparently, this was too
heartless a task for a robot.
Leela, can you handle it?
In a New New York
minute minute.
(explosion)
- (grunts)
- Ow!
(chuckles)
Ow!
Right in my
language center!
(jittery gibberish)
Professor, y-you're
a fellow man of science.
Maybe if we teamed up, we could,
uh, figure something out.
Okay. Eh, but remember, to
me you're incredibly stupid.
Oh, and the annoying
girl may be helpful.
Meanwhile, Leela, take Homer
and explore this time period.
Find out why people would
ever pay for "freemium games."
I'll explain.
Okay, it starts free,
right?
Then you visit
your friend's game,
and he's got this awesome candy
mansion...
Get a load
of those freaks!
And you're like, "99 cents?!
You bet I'd like one!"
And that's why I owe
Clash of Candies $20,000.
Here we are.
Marge, I'd like you
to meet Leela and Fry.
MARGE: Oh, don't mention her eye.
Don't mention her eye.
LEELA: Don't mention her hair.
Don't mention her hair.
I... am so pleased
to meet you.
Nice to be hair.
- (laughs)
- (soft grumble)
Oh, Lord.
(professors mumbling)
Professor Farnsworth, I'm dying
to know how you got here.
Was it a time machine?
Little girl, time machines are
physical impossibilities.
We teleported through a singularity
that I quantum entangled to Bender
under the guise of
fixing his collar.
Yes, but how did
Bender get here?
With a time machine.
- But you just said that... (bell dings)
- Sample's ready!
(snores)
Kill all humans.
(snores)
Kill all humans.
(snores)
Start with Flanders.
(snores)
Start with Flanders.
Good news, everyone!
That means it's bad.
The human DNA in the creatures
was only half Homer's.
The other half came from...
someone else.
Oh, so we can kill
that person instead.
Maybe they're evil
and deserve it.
Or have one of those annoying voices
that gets on everybody's nerves,
with the adding extra
noises for no reason.
Myveen.
Bloingy.
And the other person is...
HOMER:
Oh, who's that?
- It's me.
- (gasps)
Wait a minute. We don't
have to kill you.
Oh, well, that's better.
We just have to kill
all your children.
(exclaims)
Or just one of them.
If you can figure out which
one sired the killer rabbits.
(whistling)
(rattling)
We interrupt this hologram to
bring you an important bulletin.
The horrific creatures destroying New
New York have begun metamorphosing.
(laughs)
(muffled screaming)
(grunting)
(all growling)
(man gasping)
- Eat my shorts!
- Ay, caramba!
(laughs)
What a surprise.
It's Bart.
BART: Wow, I'm doing the same jokes
a thousand years later.
Ay, caramba!
But how did a mere boy
destroy the future?
Well...
BART: Let this be a lesson. Never throw
meaningless crap in a time capsule.
That's it! All we have to do
is dig up the time capsule.
And bury Bart in the hole.
I thought people in the future would
be more full of peace and love.
Like in Epcot Center.
In our time, Epcot Center
is a work farm for the weak.
Oh, but it's not as crowded as the slave
labor camps at Universal Studios.
(grumbles)
(tires screeching)
HOMER:
We're here.
(chuckles)
My bowling buddy.
GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE: Hey! You can't
dig that up for a thousand years.
Plus, I wrote
my name there.
See?
(rattling)
Shmayday!
Shmayday! (gasps)
They got Scruffy!
Nope. They just
got my mustache.
But a life without a mustache
ain't worth livin'.
FARNSWORTH:
No!
That generator
powers the portal.
If they destroy it,
we'll be...
(exclaims)
(grunts)
...sucked back
into the future.
Okay, head count.
One, two, three... (gasps)
Where's Maggie?
Well, little meatbag,
it looks like it's
just you and me.
Stuck in a terrible past where I know
the result of every horse race ever!
To the track!
- I want that.
- Well, you can't have it.
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Dad, it's me.
Prove it.
When's your birthday?
- February 23rd.
- Ha! February has no 23rd.
- You... (grunts)
- (grunting)
Yes, it does.
Can you please just get us
out of this lousy future?
Actually, of all probable
futures, this is the worst.
It is, 'cause
my baby's not in it.
Motherly love. Why
did we outlaw that?
Madam, our mechanical friend
Bender is your portal home.
But we can't use him until
the generator is repaired.
Homer works
at a nuclear plant.
He can help us get home.
Oh, are you good
at your job?
I was voted employee of the month
as an April Fools' Day joke.
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Great. You and Fry can
bumble around together
while the rest of us give up and
make peace with our various deities.
As for me, I'm an atheist.
Oh, nobody's father,
who art nowhere,
I know you can't hear me,
completely ignore this prayer.
Nothing art thou and nothing
will thou ever be.
Jesus was just a man.
ALL:
Amen.
Well, I shall stay here
for the decadence.
There's no debauchery like
end-of-the-world debauchery.
Your lips, my lips,
apocalypse, ooh!
I can't believe you're all
giving up without a fight.
Lisa, we're just a package
delivery service.
And not a very good one.
The only way to handle the creatures
is to do what we do to each year's
Super Bowl losers:
Shoot them into space.
But we'd have to
round them up first.
Let me take care of that.
If there's one thing I know how
to do, it's manipulate Bart.
You're nuts.
I've got a will of iron.
(deep humming)
(mumbles)
Okay, let's get going.
(drooling)
Dad, we have beer
in our time.
Hey, I haven't had a drink
in a thousand years.
(horse neighs)
(gasps)
There's a horse called
Bender's Bounty.
But my memory says
he died during the race.
That can't be true.
ANNOUNCER: And way, way, way
back is Bender's Bounty.
Damn it!
Oh, chief, it looks like a robot
killing horses over there.
Oh, a 608...
Lou, can't you just
let me enjoy my day off?
W-Why are you dressed
in your uniform, then?
'Cause they're
the only clothes that fit me.
You happy? Happy?
LISA: Attention, goblins. Madison Cube Garden
is filled with Butterfinger bars.
And people are laying
fingers all over them.
(cackling, grunting)
They're evolving. Wow.
- That's a first for you, Bart.
- Will you shut up?
(gentle melody plays)
(grunting)
Uh, did I remind you
to strap yourselves in?
(all cheering)
You realize you're cheering the
death of millions of my children.
(all cheering)
Wow, it's working. I guess the
instructions were in English.
What the...
Whoa!
Hey, here's a souvenir photo of
you guys coming out of my chest.
Aw, I will treasure
this forever.
Lie detected.
Oh, my sweet baby.
Oh, feels like
you have a full diaper.
Ooh, um, I'll change her.
(whispers):
Here's your cut.
Nice knowing you, meatbags.
Have fun turning to dust.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're the portal.
How are you gonna
get to the future?
The old-fashioned way.
Good night, friend. You'll always
have a special place here with us.
(grunting)
Thanks, pal.
Look at this mess.
It would have
disintegrated upon entry
if someone hadn't turned off
the atmosphere last night.
I like it cold
when I'm sleeping.
Besides, these horrible
Earth creatures are delicious.
The Johnsons will be here
for dinner any minute.
What happened to the
handsome man I married?
- I ate him, remember?
- Here they are.
Uh, hmm...
Hope we're not
interrupting anything.
(burps)
I can't take any more.
(sobbing)
I-I can't take it.
Well, perhaps the one of you that
is female should go console her.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
(Futurama theme plays)
♪ Two... two, three... ♪
HOMER:
♪ Simpsons in the future ♪
♪ Space jokes flying
through sound ♪
♪ What are those tubes? ♪
♪ I wonder what ♪
♪ Ice cream's like now ♪
♪ Maybe it's hot ♪
♪ Or some new temperature
they invented. ♪
That's it, we're done.
(The Simpsons theme plays)
Shh!
♪ Two... two, three... ♪
Ooh. Wiggle in.
- Get comfortable.
- (Marge yells)
Hey, a couch is a couch.
(grunts)
Ooh, yeah.
(sexy lounge music playing)
(chuckling)
- (moaning)
- Yes, there, you see?
- Oh, yeah!
- (giggles)
- (laughing)
- Oh-ho-ho-ho!
That's so...
HOMER:
Whoo-hoo!
♪ The Simpsons 26x06 ♪
Simpsorama
Original Air Date on November 9, 2014
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
SKINNER: Uh, students, each
one of you has been assigned
the mandatory honor of contributing
to the Springfield time capsule,
where your arcana will lie
dormant until the 31st century.
And... (grunts)
By the time you finish talking, we're
gonna be opening this damn capsule.
Right. Time capsule.
Nelson, give me something.
I brought a picture
of my dad.
He's still at large...
(voice breaks):
In my heart!
I brought
my lucky rabbit's foot.
I can have good luck
without it.
(gasps)
Ow!
Wish we could put this moment
in the time capsule.
Consider it done.
Uh, how about you, Bart?
Let me guess-- you forgot
to bring something.
I'm offended you
think I forgot.
Let's see.
Ta-da!
Listen, boy, this is the only
legacy you'll ever leave.
Better make this count.
(blows nose)
(gasps)
My sandwich!
(devious chuckle)
And so a thousand years from now
this capsule will be opened
by some future Mayor Quimby.
(crowd cheers)
That-that could be
anyone's ooze.
(truck backup alarm beeping)
(grunts)
There.
And now, to help
secure the jazz vote,
Lisa Simpson will
play her saxophone.
♪ ♪
(thunder crashes)
Even God hates jazz.
(thunder rumbling)
KENT BROCKMAN:
A mysterious electrical storm
is currently wreaking havoc
with our studio.
(chuckles): But I'm not one
of those brainless dolts
who mindlessly reads
a teleprompter-er...
error 401 backslash backslash colon
reset C-drive shutting down.
(electrical zapping)
(male screaming)
(crash)
(grunts)
What the hell was that?
Probably just another piece of America's
space junk falling out of orbit.
Remember when this
country didn't suck?
'Cause I don't.
(thunder crashing)
(loud glugging in distance)
(loud belch)
(glass shatters)
(gasps)
Homer, I think there's
someone downstairs.
Relax, Marge.
It's probably just Homer
coming home late from Moe's.
Hmm.
Ooh, the eyes in that picture
are following me!
Uh, that's a mirror.
Isn't all great art
kind of a mirror?
(door creaks)
(deep belching nearby)
We'd better send
the dog down.
Come on, here's your chance
to protect us, boy.
- (whining)
- Come on. C...
- (growls)
- Aah!
Stupid dog.
(growling)
Ow!
(clattering in distance)
MALE VOICE:
Ow.
We'll have to set
a trap, Bait--
I mean, Bart.
HOMER:
All set.
When he starts gnawing at you,
I'll whack him with this broom.
(gasps)
Hmm.
Ooh! (chuckles)
Don't drink my loved ones!
Oh! Bite my shiny metal ass!
A robot!
With a catchphrase!
Hey, Homer, you gonna kiss him
or kill him?
- (grunts)
- (yells)
All right!
Tether-boy!
- (grunting)
- (grunting)
(yelling)
(Bender chuckles)
Okay, so, what are you?
Must be a secret
government project.
Whoa, what do
I look like, a narc?
My name is Bender,
and I come from...
the future!
Prove it. What happens to
Homer Simpson in the future?
I don't know.
You die?
Oh... my... God.
He's telling the truth. I have to
take you to our civic leaders.
(deep belch)
Hey, hibachi head, how are
you gonna pay for that?
Uh, let me just
transfer some, uh,
electronic hyper-credits
into your register here.
Ding-da-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!
Ooh, and, uh, another round for my friends!
Ding-da-ding-ding-
da-ding-ding.
(others cheer)
(chuckles): Hey,
this blade rummy is all right.
He's a big spender,
plus he fixed the jukebox.
(quietly): I think
they had a thing going.
♪ Oh, baby,
what you done to me... ♪
(needle scratches record)
I hate it when
they get quiet.
Listen, uh, I know you're a robot
and incapable of emotion...
(sobbing)
(sobbing):
It's true.
I'm empty inside!
(sobbing loudly)
- Uh, look, I just want to
ask, can we be friends? - Ooh.
You're the only guy I know
with less hair than me.
Sure. That's why
I came to your time--
for all you know.
OTHERS:
For all we know!
(chuckling)
D'oh!
(mechanical whirring)
A, uh, strike!
A totally legitimate strike!
Yeah!
(chuckles)
Hey, uh, what's the robot
version of bro-Mance?
Ro-Mance.
You future guys have a word
for everything... pal.
(both snoring)
You know, they look
a little similar.
Yeah. Like the guy who designed
Bender just took a drawing of Dad
and stuck an
antenna on it.
LISA: A little lazy,
if you ask me.
Regardless, I see no reason to believe
that Bender is from the future.
Robotic technology today
is very advanced.
Oh, really?
Can your modern-day
robots do this?
("The Stars and Stripes Forever"
playing)
It's not my birthday-- although
Maggie's is pretty soon.
I can't do "Maggie."
The Gs look like sixes.
This is the robot who claims
to be from the future.
Can your present-day
robots do this?
(babbling)
Uh, no, no, they cannot.
Not sure why they'd
want to-- gorbid.
Now, why are you here?
What is your mission,
uh, so to speak?
I don't remember.
Man, this guy doesn't ask permission--
he just goes right in you.
Eh... aha!
Bender's mission protocol
is definitely intact.
It just requires a delicate procedure
known as "unplug and re-plug."
(chuckles, mumbles)
Because that fixes
everything.
(whirring)
I remember why I'm here!
To kill Homer Simpson!
(gasps)
(singsongy): My ears are burning.
(singsongy):
Not yet, but they will be.
(yelps)
A boxing glove!
But we bowled together.
Aw, I can't do it.
What stopped you, Bender,
Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
You think robots care what some
hack science fiction writer thinks?
I killed Isaac Asimov
on the way over here.
Well, Isaac somebody.
What the...? My ass
is about to project something.
(loud whisper): You don't have
to announce it.
Just do it quietly
and blame the dog.
Bender, we've just
regained contact.
Have you killed
Homer Simpson?
Uh, yep. Killed him good.
If Homer's dead, why are
the creatures he begat
still here and multiplying
out of control?
(all chattering angrily)
What the...?
You lied to me, Bender!
Homer Simpson's
still alive!
Come on, Bender,
stabbity-stabbity.
Wait! Stop! Why must
you kill my dad?
Especially when cheeseburgers
are doing the work for you.
Homer Simpson must be
eliminated immediately.
The creatures destroying
New New York have his DNA.
The monsters are stealing
our office supplies!
That's inexcusable!
Gah!
Um...
Hello, robot.
Looks like everyone gets
a turn to say something.
This concludes my turn.
We sent Bender back
in time to kill Homer
before the monsters
could evolve from him.
Apparently, this was too
heartless a task for a robot.
Leela, can you handle it?
In a New New York
minute minute.
(explosion)
- (grunts)
- Ow!
(chuckles)
Ow!
Right in my
language center!
(jittery gibberish)
Professor, y-you're
a fellow man of science.
Maybe if we teamed up, we could,
uh, figure something out.
Okay. Eh, but remember, to
me you're incredibly stupid.
Oh, and the annoying
girl may be helpful.
Meanwhile, Leela, take Homer
and explore this time period.
Find out why people would
ever pay for "freemium games."
I'll explain.
Okay, it starts free,
right?
Then you visit
your friend's game,
and he's got this awesome candy
mansion...
Get a load
of those freaks!
And you're like, "99 cents?!
You bet I'd like one!"
And that's why I owe
Clash of Candies $20,000.
Here we are.
Marge, I'd like you
to meet Leela and Fry.
MARGE: Oh, don't mention her eye.
Don't mention her eye.
LEELA: Don't mention her hair.
Don't mention her hair.
I... am so pleased
to meet you.
Nice to be hair.
- (laughs)
- (soft grumble)
Oh, Lord.
(professors mumbling)
Professor Farnsworth, I'm dying
to know how you got here.
Was it a time machine?
Little girl, time machines are
physical impossibilities.
We teleported through a singularity
that I quantum entangled to Bender
under the guise of
fixing his collar.
Yes, but how did
Bender get here?
With a time machine.
- But you just said that... (bell dings)
- Sample's ready!
(snores)
Kill all humans.
(snores)
Kill all humans.
(snores)
Start with Flanders.
(snores)
Start with Flanders.
Good news, everyone!
That means it's bad.
The human DNA in the creatures
was only half Homer's.
The other half came from...
someone else.
Oh, so we can kill
that person instead.
Maybe they're evil
and deserve it.
Or have one of those annoying voices
that gets on everybody's nerves,
with the adding extra
noises for no reason.
Myveen.
Bloingy.
And the other person is...
HOMER:
Oh, who's that?
- It's me.
- (gasps)
Wait a minute. We don't
have to kill you.
Oh, well, that's better.
We just have to kill
all your children.
(exclaims)
Or just one of them.
If you can figure out which
one sired the killer rabbits.
(whistling)
(rattling)
We interrupt this hologram to
bring you an important bulletin.
The horrific creatures destroying New
New York have begun metamorphosing.
(laughs)
(muffled screaming)
(grunting)
(all growling)
(man gasping)
- Eat my shorts!
- Ay, caramba!
(laughs)
What a surprise.
It's Bart.
BART: Wow, I'm doing the same jokes
a thousand years later.
Ay, caramba!
But how did a mere boy
destroy the future?
Well...
BART: Let this be a lesson. Never throw
meaningless crap in a time capsule.
That's it! All we have to do
is dig up the time capsule.
And bury Bart in the hole.
I thought people in the future would
be more full of peace and love.
Like in Epcot Center.
In our time, Epcot Center
is a work farm for the weak.
Oh, but it's not as crowded as the slave
labor camps at Universal Studios.
(grumbles)
(tires screeching)
HOMER:
We're here.
(chuckles)
My bowling buddy.
GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE: Hey! You can't
dig that up for a thousand years.
Plus, I wrote
my name there.
See?
(rattling)
Shmayday!
Shmayday! (gasps)
They got Scruffy!
Nope. They just
got my mustache.
But a life without a mustache
ain't worth livin'.
FARNSWORTH:
No!
That generator
powers the portal.
If they destroy it,
we'll be...
(exclaims)
(grunts)
...sucked back
into the future.
Okay, head count.
One, two, three... (gasps)
Where's Maggie?
Well, little meatbag,
it looks like it's
just you and me.
Stuck in a terrible past where I know
the result of every horse race ever!
To the track!
- I want that.
- Well, you can't have it.
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Dad, it's me.
Prove it.
When's your birthday?
- February 23rd.
- Ha! February has no 23rd.
- You... (grunts)
- (grunting)
Yes, it does.
Can you please just get us
out of this lousy future?
Actually, of all probable
futures, this is the worst.
It is, 'cause
my baby's not in it.
Motherly love. Why
did we outlaw that?
Madam, our mechanical friend
Bender is your portal home.
But we can't use him until
the generator is repaired.
Homer works
at a nuclear plant.
He can help us get home.
Oh, are you good
at your job?
I was voted employee of the month
as an April Fools' Day joke.
Why, you little...
Why, you little...
Great. You and Fry can
bumble around together
while the rest of us give up and
make peace with our various deities.
As for me, I'm an atheist.
Oh, nobody's father,
who art nowhere,
I know you can't hear me,
completely ignore this prayer.
Nothing art thou and nothing
will thou ever be.
Jesus was just a man.
ALL:
Amen.
Well, I shall stay here
for the decadence.
There's no debauchery like
end-of-the-world debauchery.
Your lips, my lips,
apocalypse, ooh!
I can't believe you're all
giving up without a fight.
Lisa, we're just a package
delivery service.
And not a very good one.
The only way to handle the creatures
is to do what we do to each year's
Super Bowl losers:
Shoot them into space.
But we'd have to
round them up first.
Let me take care of that.
If there's one thing I know how
to do, it's manipulate Bart.
You're nuts.
I've got a will of iron.
(deep humming)
(mumbles)
Okay, let's get going.
(drooling)
Dad, we have beer
in our time.
Hey, I haven't had a drink
in a thousand years.
(horse neighs)
(gasps)
There's a horse called
Bender's Bounty.
But my memory says
he died during the race.
That can't be true.
ANNOUNCER: And way, way, way
back is Bender's Bounty.
Damn it!
Oh, chief, it looks like a robot
killing horses over there.
Oh, a 608...
Lou, can't you just
let me enjoy my day off?
W-Why are you dressed
in your uniform, then?
'Cause they're
the only clothes that fit me.
You happy? Happy?
LISA: Attention, goblins. Madison Cube Garden
is filled with Butterfinger bars.
And people are laying
fingers all over them.
(cackling, grunting)
They're evolving. Wow.
- That's a first for you, Bart.
- Will you shut up?
(gentle melody plays)
(grunting)
Uh, did I remind you
to strap yourselves in?
(all cheering)
You realize you're cheering the
death of millions of my children.
(all cheering)
Wow, it's working. I guess the
instructions were in English.
What the...
Whoa!
Hey, here's a souvenir photo of
you guys coming out of my chest.
Aw, I will treasure
this forever.
Lie detected.
Oh, my sweet baby.
Oh, feels like
you have a full diaper.
Ooh, um, I'll change her.
(whispers):
Here's your cut.
Nice knowing you, meatbags.
Have fun turning to dust.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're the portal.
How are you gonna
get to the future?
The old-fashioned way.
Good night, friend. You'll always
have a special place here with us.
(grunting)
Thanks, pal.
Look at this mess.
It would have
disintegrated upon entry
if someone hadn't turned off
the atmosphere last night.
I like it cold
when I'm sleeping.
Besides, these horrible
Earth creatures are delicious.
The Johnsons will be here
for dinner any minute.
What happened to the
handsome man I married?
- I ate him, remember?
- Here they are.
Uh, hmm...
Hope we're not
interrupting anything.
(burps)
I can't take any more.
(sobbing)
I-I can't take it.
Well, perhaps the one of you that
is female should go console her.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
(Futurama theme plays)
♪ Two... two, three... ♪
HOMER:
♪ Simpsons in the future ♪
♪ Space jokes flying
through sound ♪
♪ What are those tubes? ♪
♪ I wonder what ♪
♪ Ice cream's like now ♪
♪ Maybe it's hot ♪
♪ Or some new temperature
they invented. ♪
That's it, we're done.
(The Simpsons theme plays)
Shh!