The Simpsons (1989–…): Season 19, Episode 19 - Mona Leaves-a - full transcript

Homer's mother returns,saying her activism days are over but Homer is still mad at her for putting her causes above his upbringing. When she passes away he feels mean and agrees to spread her ashes from the mountain top in the national park - where they can gum up the works of the adjacent missile launcher due to fly nuclear waste into the rainforests, just as Mother Simpson had planned. Homer gets captured but the gifts his mother left the other family members help him escape in true Bond style.

The Simpsons S19E19 (KABF12)
Mona Leaves-a

This punishment is not medieval.

Hey.

What took you so long?

Excuse me.

- Are you leaving?
- No, sorry.

I'm not leaving.

Sorry, not leaving.

Not quite yet.

I'm sorry.

I'm not leaving.



So what are you doing?

Oh, I like creating disappointment.

You know that little moment
where people's hope dies?

I feed on that.

Uh, is this space free?

You know as a matter of fact...

it ain't!

Ahh, that's heavenly.

Sweaters, not
the fun cartoon

Mom, you tricked us!

We thought this was going
to be a fun trip to the mall!

We listed to music radio
in the car.

And since you kids behaved,

we'll pick one fun thing
to do here.



I want to go lecture the
food court businesses

that are still using Styrofoam.

Lead-based toys!
Lead-based toys!

Sit on a bench!
Sit on a bench!

For once, we'll do what
Maggie wants.

Oh, Maggie's thing?

She won't even remember
that we did it!

None of you kids ever remember any

of the nice things we do for you.

- Like what?
- Food.

- Pass.
- Shelter?

- That dump?!
- Clothing?

I wouldn't blow my nose into this.

Welcome to Stuff-N-Hug,

a Funworks Lovelab!

I'm used to buying
my critters pre-made.

How does your store differ?

Why should I tell you,

when we've got a video
that shows you!

Video's broken, Alan!

Call Eric!

I'm Eric!

Black Eric!

I want a poodle.

I'd stay away from poodles.

They give the dog...

ideas.

How much love do you want
in your Stuff-N-Hug?

I want all the love.

Snow day!

So little girl,

what outfit do you want
for your dolphin?

- Doctor.
- Okay...

nurse it is.

Professor.

- Kindergarten teacher.
- Chef!

- Lunch lady!
- CEO!

Secretary to a CEO.

You know,
it's a boy dolphin.

Oh...

here you go, Doctor.

We fooled her....

Betsy.

Bart is awesome.

Bart is awesome.

Wow, this guy could put
Milhouse out of business.

Oh,

well, this is kind
of a cute outfit.

Homer is a lard butt.

- What did you say?
- Homer has booger breath.

- It's a medical condition!
- Homer is a big jerk.

Who told you these
things about me?

Dung muncher.
Stink brains.

Cheese wang.
Captain Crud.

I don't want to get mad,
but I will!

B.O. Baracus. Mount Baldy.

Tub of Guts.
Crapper Clogger.

Oh, that's it!

Uh, Mom, we got a code four.

I'll kill you all!

It didn't have
to go down like this!

The door's open!

I think someone broke in!

Don't worry.
I'm ready for this.

Bart, fetch "The Defender."

Yes, sir!

I hear noises coming
from the kitchen.

Uh-oh, that's where
the food sleeps.

Wait a minute.

I smell apples, cinnamon,.......

crust.

It's a pie!

Why would a robber make pie?

Who cares?

If you kill him,
we'll be on TV!

You're right, boy!

Hmm? Mom!

My aquarium!

Hello, Homer.

You're alive!

And you baked a pie!

Homie, what's going on?

I'm fighting the robber!

You go get ice cream!

Mom, I can't believe
you're here.

You keep disappearing and

reappearing and it's not funny.

You're just like that show Scrubs.

Homer, I'm sorry I had
to pretend to be dead.

But it worked because the government
isn't looking for me anymore.

I can finally stop running
and be your mom.

No, thanks.

What do you mean?

Every time you go,
I feel abandoned.

But not this time.

I'm not gonna let myself get hurt.

Homer, I'm through protesting
and chaining myself to things.

I've realized that
the most important

thing in my life is you.

That's what your mouth says,

but my ears are too smart
to believe it.

In fact, I don't even
want your pie.

You already ate
the whole thing.

Well, I'm not going
to digest it!

Wow, Dad was so cute as a baby.

When did he lose his cuteness?

Oh, I have a picture
of that right here.

I do feel bad for missing so much
of Homer's childhood.

But at least he wasn't raised
by a television.

See you later, honey.

Mommy has to go chain herself
to a nuclear submarine.

Hugs and kisses!

You left a hole in heart
that could never be filled.

So I filled it with food.

But I'm never full.

Welcome back to the ESPY Awards.

Our next presenters are

Lance Armstrong
and Fozzie Bear.

Wokka, wokka, wokka!

That's right, Fozzie,
and this year's

Right Guard Keeping Cool

Under Pressure Award goes to...

Hey, Lance, nice trousers.

Did you win those
at the Tour de Pants?

Wokka, wokka!

Yeah, well, I never thought
you were funny.

Ever.

Wokka, wokka!

Wokka, wokka?

Anyway,...

the Right Guard Keeping Cool

Under Pressure Award goes to...

Oh, I don't even care.

Homer?

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

It's my feelings that are mad.

Oh, sweetheart, when I left you,
it was because

I thought I could make
the world a little bit better.

Maybe all I did was make
my own world a lot worse.

I only hope you
can forgive me.

No!
I can't forgive you.

And I don't accept your tuck-in!

I understand.

These things take time.

Good night.

Oh, I feel terrible.

My own mother reached out to me,
and I rejected her.

I'm gonna make her a card.

Mom?

Are you asleep?

Asleep with your eyes open?

Mom?

Mom?!

My mother's dead.

I'm still with you, son.

Oh, this just gets
worse and worse!

After your mother left me, I always
planned to dance on her grave.

First, it was gonna be
the Hustle.

Recently, I've been taking
tap lessons.

But now?

Well, I don't feel
much like dancing.

Come on, Homie.

Your mom wouldn't have wanted
you to stay in bed forever.

I'll tell you what
she didn't want.

Me to be a jerk to her
and then she dies.

Say something comforting.

Okay, comforting,
comforting.

Uh, Dad,

whenever I would hang
out with Grandma,

she would always ask me about you.

And I'd say you suck.

And she would say
you don't suck that bad.

She said I didn't suck?

That bad.

That bad.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

Sorry about your ma, Homer.

I just wish she hadn't died
thinking I hated her.

Yeah, you should always make
peace with your loved ones.

I think I'll give my ma
a call right now.

Hey, Mom, I just wanted you
to know that you mean...

Yeah, he's here.

Hey, Mrs. L.

Those butter cookies
you sent were tasty.

And the almond ones,
oh!

Aw, I wish I was your son, too.

All right,
I'm gonna pass you back...

Okay, okay, I'll tell him.

Uh, Moe, Lenny's mom
says she loves you.

Apu, what do you think happens
after you die?

Manjula will sell the store,

dye her hair blonde,
and marry my cousin Jangelvar.

Yes, I will.

I mean, do you think my mother's
out there somewhere?

Does she know I feel bad
about things I said?

Perhaps she's around us now.

She may have already
been reincarnated as...

that newborn baby or...

that tiny mouse
in the nacho cheese.

Oh, for crying out loud,
people aren't mice.

Oh, what a surprise.

Joe Jesus, Junior is going
to set us all straight.

Look, Homer, people don't
come back as anything,

except for our Lord,
who came back as bread.

- That's it.
- That's it.

That's the thing with your religion:
it's a bummer.

Even the sing-alongs?

No, the sing-alongs are okay.

Homer, look what I found
with your mother's things

A donut from the future?

The following video was recorded
at Garry's Video Wills.

Maggie, that's the same Garry
that filmed your birthday party.

Remember,he brought his girlfriend
and they got in a fight?

Hello, Homer.

If you are watching this right now,
I am dead.

Or if I'm nodead,
you've gotten in to my stuff.

But if I am dead,
this is my will.

And if I'm not,
get out of my stuff.

To my grandson Bart,

I leave my Swiss Army knife.

Cool.

My dearest Lisa,

I leave you a priceless
item so powerful

no government can ever extinguish it:

my rebellious spirit

Grandma, I accept your gift.

You got nothing,
you got nothing.

Marge, I have a purse
for you.

It's woven out of nature's
most amazing material: hemp.

Hmm, it smells like concerts.

And lastly,
for Homer,

I leave you something
very special.

A difficult task.

Go to Springfield Monument Park
and climb to the highest point.

At exactly 3:00,
release my ashes.

I love you, Homer.

And now,
because they're your favorite,

please enjoy some animal bloopers.

Aw, Ma, you always knew just how
to make everything all right.

Oh, it works on so many levels.

Okay, this is it.

I've got one last chance to make up
for the things I said to my mom.

I will avenge you.

It's not really avenging her, Dad,

just the fulfillment
of her last wish.

I'm really glad you
corrected me, Lisa.

People are always really glad
when they're corrected.

This is hard work.
Isn't it, boy?

- Boy?
- Hey, Homer!

Your butt still looks big
from down here!

Why, you little...!

You know,
spiritually speaking,

Grandma's ashes won't know where
they've been thrown from, so...

in a way...

I'm lying down now.

I always knew that at the end,

it would all come down to me.

Excuse me, I think I'm holding
up better than you are.

In fact, I've got energy to spare.

Hmm, to spare, eh?

Marge, your back is so sweaty.

I'm starting to slip off.

That's the highest point.

And only 15 minutes to go.

Made it.

Mom, we didn't know
each other very well.

If we did, you never would have
asked me to climb anything,

but even when you
weren't around,

I always felt good knowing
you were out there somewhere.

3:00.

Good-bye, Mom.

You're finally free.

Huh?

Guidance system destroyed.

Launch aborted.

Wait a minute.

Mom's ashes stopped
that missile launch.

Mom.

You used me to pull one more
stupid hippie protest.

Didn't you?

Judging from the wind direction,
distance, time of day,

the ashes must have come from...

him.

Ugh, ever since you started watching
Monk, you think you are Monk.

You're not Monk.

Uh-oh, I got to get
out of here.

I'm stayin' as long as nothing disturbs
this incredibly delicate balance.

You're not supposed
to like it.

Show me the law
that says I can't.

Are you hurt?

I don't think so.

So we got to do that, too.

Here's your mother.

You can have her.
To me, she's been nothing but trouble.

What's the delay?

Mr. Burns,
we had a saboteur.

Well, well, well.

Who's this delightful
young lady?

She's what held up
the launch, sir.

Pity. You and I could have
shared the world.

You do know you're talking
to a bag of ashes.

Hey, I've seen your wife.
She's no Mamie Van Doren.

Just what are you guys up to?

Oh, I suppose there's no
harmin telling you.

I'm using the rocket to dispose
of Springfield's nuclear waste

by sending it straight to the heart
of the Amazon rainforest.

The rainforest?

That's that thing Lisa likes.

Well, maybe she'll like it better filled
with dying trees and mutated animals.

You monster.

On another subject,

next Thursday I have
to leave work early.

I assume that's cool.

All systems operational.

Excellent.

Mom, I'm so sorry.

You just wanted to stop one more
senseless act of madness in this world.

Well, if I get out of this,

I promise you I'll grant
your last wish.

Homer, hey, Homer.

Here's Grandma's knife.

Toss it down.

Thanks, boy.

How am I ever going
to take on all those guys?

Hmm, what could I make
from those two things?

Mm... no.

My purse is made of hemp.

If we burn it, the silly smoke
will mellow out those guards.

We can ignite it with these crystal
earrings Grandma gave me.

I thought she gave you
her rebellious spirit.

I found them on her nightstand.

What? Bart got
a Swiss Army knife.

One pill makes you larger

And one pill makes you small...

Hey, did you ever
think about how, like,

your fingers are like legs
for your hand?

Imagine what cute little
shoes they'd wear.

That's already a
thing thimbles, right?

God bless America!

Send in reinforcements.

Actually, you only hired ten.

A couple guys called in sick

and the Jewish guy
has to leave at sunset.

Fine.

That'll do, brick.

That'll do.

Base self-destruct
sequence activated.

Detonation in ten,...

nine,...

eight...

Homie.

Now I'll just add water
to these ashes

and bring my mother back to life.

It doesn't work that way, Homie.

But she'll live on forever
in what you did today.

Well, then, Mom,
this was for you.

No, I would not
give you false hope

On this strange
and mournful day

But the mother
and child reunion

Is only a motion away

little darling of mine.

More sugar,
more sugar.

- No.
- Why not?

Because you're sweet enough.