The Phil Silvers Show (1955–1959): Season 4, Episode 31 - Doberman Missing Heir - full transcript

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Hey, Dobie, are
my pants ready yet?

I'm waiting for
the iron to get hot.

Hey Doberman, do
me a favour, will you?

I gotta run to town, be a
pal, make up my bunk?

- Okay.
- Attaboy.

Come on Doberman, are
you going to the PX or not?

He'll go in a minute. He
hasn't pressed my pants yet.

Take it easy, Fleischman,
he'll be back in 5 minutes.

Hey Dobie, you won't forget
about making up the bunk, huh?

- No, I won't forget.
- Hold it! Hold it!



What's goin' on here?

Doberman do this!
Doberman do that!

Since when has Doberman become

everybody's personal
servant around here?

Now hear me, hear me good!

This man is as important
as anybody in this platoon.

Is that understood?

There'll be no taking
advantage of him.

If you want something
done, do it yourself.

- Have you got that?
- Okay.

- Gee, thanks Sarge?
- Thanks for what?

I'm just protecting your
basic rights as a human being.

You're a soldier,
not a slave, right?

Right!



Did you finish
ironing my shirt yet?

- But Sarge...
- Doberman.

I gave it you over an hour ago.

But Sarge, I have too
many other things to do.

- I couldn't...
- Ah, whose fault is that?

You've become a poor
Cinderella around here.

Stand up to these
guys, remember that!

Now if you put too
much starch in my collar,

you'll have to do them over
again, remember that too!

Hey Ernie, what did you
say, the girls are waiting.

Let them wait if they
get a little anxious,

they become more cooperative.

When those shirts are ready
bring them in Dobie, okay?

- Yes, master.
- Hey Doberman.

If you have time
will you press my tie?

Hold it, do it yourself.

One thing I hate to see is one
of my men taken advantage of.

New York Yankee 6,
Washington Senators 2.

Hey Ernie, we better go
it's late. It's after 8:00 o'clock.

I wanna hear the
news, do you mind?

Now for tonight's human interest
story, Lord and Lady Rockford

arrived in San Francisco today
to continue their long search

for their lost son and heir.

On a visit to America
some 35 years ago,

Lord and Lady
Rockford's baby boy

mysteriously
disappeared from his pram.

The search has
continued to this day.

Reporter Don Martin
interviewed Lord Rockford

this afternoon
in his hotel suite.

Is true Sir, that
your missing son

is the only heir to one of
England's greatest fortunes?

Quite so but more important he
would be the next Lord Rockford,

a direct descendent
of the Kings of England.

Hey Ernie, don't she
look familiar to you?

It's crazy, but she
reminds me of Doberman.

Sssh!

Tell me Lord Rockford, how do
you propose to identify your son?

After all you haven't
seen him in 35 years.

Well, my son Montague
had a distinctive birthmark

on his upper left
arm and I assume

there would also be a
strong family resemblance.

- I'd know my baby boy anywhere.
- There, there Victoria.

He was such a
beautiful, healthy child,

weighed 16 lbs
at birth, you know.

You might also add that I'm
offering the reward of $5,000

for information leading
to my son's whereabouts.

Well, Sir, on...

Is it possible? Is it possible?

She looks like Doberman.

And you heard what he said
about a strong family resemblance.

And Doberman's the right age.

- Ah, it's unbelievable.
- Why?

Doberman only
weighed 16 lbs at birth?

- Well, it could be.
- Use your brain, Rocco!

Doberman a descendant of
English Kings, it's incredible.

- Wait a minute.
- What's the matter, Ernie?

I just remembered something.
Henry the 8th was a slob too.

Ernie, Doberman has that
birthmark on his left arm.

- We're in 5,000 bucks!
- Come on, be sensible.

All right, there's
a resemblance.

It's probably a coincidence.

- How do you know?
- How do I know?

How do I know, are you
forgetting one little detail,

Doberman's mother in Allentown?

Sarge, that ain't his mother.

- That's his Aunt.
- What?

Yeah, Doberman was a
foundling, and his Aunt raised him.

A foundling? Are you sure?

Well, he told me that once.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's go looking
for that birthmark.

Doberman! Doberman!

Hey Sarge, I just
finished ironing your shirt.

Never mind, I wanna
talk you a minute.

- Take off your jacket.
- What for?

Something I wanna see.

Now don't ask...
what do you want?

Go on outside. Come on!

All right, now take
off your jacket.

Oh, Sarge, you're not gonna
start that stuff again, are you?

- What stuff?
- About me taking a shower.

Oh shut up!

Sarge, I still have
a lot of ironing to do.

Quiet, if this works out,
you'll never work again.

Now let me see your left arm.

Your left arm stupid!

Well, Ernie, well?

Rule Britannia, Britannia...

Hmm, it's fantastic! Fantastic!

What are you reading, Ernie?

I've just been looking into Lord
Rockford's financial standing

from his book here.

This is the English
version of Dun & Bradstreet.

Listen to some of his
holdings: mills in Birmingham,

shipping fleets and
distilleries in Scotland,

real estate in London, a 52 room
ancestral castle on the Thames.

Wow!

Just think, all of this is
gonna belong to Doberman,

and his friends someday.

Now wait a minute, Ernie.

Even if Doberman
is the missing heir,

that doesn't mean he's
gonna share it with you.

Who cares all I know
is I'm gonna realize

my lifelong ambition to
be the business manager

to a millionaire
who can't count.

Ernie, I'm having a
lot of trouble with him.

Oh can't you handle
anything, Rocco.

Doberman, in
here, on the double!

Your Sergeant wants
to talk to you Doberman!

Sarge, you said I
wouldn't have to.

Now look, you're gonna
have to take a shower.

- But why?
- Why?

Because some day you're
gonna sit in the House of Lords.

If it was the House of
Commons, I wouldn't mind.

But I don't wanna be royalty.

I wanna be just
plain Pvt. Doberman.

Now listen to me,
your Lordship...

Sarge, do you have to
call me your Lordship?

Yes, I want you
to get used to it.

And get used to another thing,
let me see that proud bearing,

shoulders erect,
aristocratic looking.

- Is this any better?
- Yes, your Lordship!

It's like a battleship.

Now Duane listen to me,
and listen to me carefully

in the next day or
2 you're gonna meet

your parents for the first time.

And this is very important.

They haven't seen
you in 35 years.

I want you to make
a good impression.

If they're my parents, they'll
accept me the way I am.

That's the trouble,
once they look at you,

they may not know what you
am, and I'm not taking any chances.

Oh Sarge, let's call it off.

Listen Duane, try to get this
through your thick royal skull.

Your parents are loaded.

They've got money
in shillings, pounds,

American money,
all kind of money.

And the biggest joy
in life they can have

is to put this
money in your lap.

Now are you gonna
deny this sweet old couple

in the twilight of their life,

their one true
chance for happiness?

- Okay Sarge, I'll do it.
- That's the spirit your Lordship!

Rocco, hose him down real good!

Come on move it, move it!

Well, what do you think, Ernie?

Well, I don't know.

We'll work on him tonight,
and tomorrow we'll take him

to San Francisco
to meet his parents.

Hey, what do you
think is gonna happen

when they meet face to face?

I don't know all I
know is Mother Love

is gonna get its severest test.

Ah, here it is. Now
you know what to do.

- I think so.
- What is your name?

Montague, Lord Rockford.

Fine and remember, when
you meet your parents,

affectionate but with that
certain English reserve, okay?

- Okay.
- Well, here goes.

Now remember, when
you kiss your mother,

don't slobber all over her.

Yes.

Oh Daddy, I've
missed you so much!

I beg your pardon.
Montague, control yourself.

You'll have to
excuse his informality.

You see, he's been away from
the mother country too long.

I assume you are
here to be interviewed?

Interviewed, my dear man,
this is a gala family reunion.

And do me a favour,
don't announce us.

We want this to be a surprise.

I'm sorry, that's
quite impossible.

I'm afraid you'll have to wait.

Wait, why this poor lad
has been waiting 35 years

to see his parents.

Yes, that's what they all say.

All, what do you mean all?

There are at least 10 other
gentlemen ahead of you.

Why, this is outrageous!

These men are
obviously imposters.

Imposters?

I say old man, are you
insinuating that I'm a fraud?

Oh come off it, pal.

Who do you think you're
kidding in that rented tuxedo?

Rented? How dare you?

He's probably got torn
underwear underneath the tuxedo.

Okay, buster, you're
asking for a fat lip.

- Commoner!
- Here, here your Lordship.

This is way beneath you.

Corporals, are we to stand
by while our British Royalty

is harassed by
unscrupulous fortune-hunters?

- Of course not!
- Then do your duty!

- You are nothing but...
- Out! Out!

Get him out of here!
Your name please?

Hey, who are you?

Who am I, did you
think that British Royalty

would come to San Francisco
without proper protection

from the United
States Government?

Do you have your
security clearance with you?

Security clearance,
I don't have any.

Guard, out! Out!

See that this man
does not enter the hotel

without a written
permit from the FBI

or the Bureau of Immigration.

All right now, your name please?

I have reason to believe
that I am Montague Rockford.

Aha, a Romanian, out! Out! Out!

Now the rest of
you men listen to me

and listen to me real good.

Now you are well
aware that the penalty

in the United States for
fraud and misrepresentation

is 10 years in the
Federal prison.

Now unless you
are absolutely sure

you are the missing
son of Lord Rockford,

you will leave now, and
save the Government the cost

of an expensive trial.

Cpl. Henshaw, see that these
men leave in an orderly fashion.

Thorndike don't take
pictures. It's their first offence.

All right, out! Out! Out!

Move, move orderly fashion

out, out that's
the way to do it.

Here, here, where are you going?

Sarge, I'm not sure either.

- All right, will you?
- What now, Ernie?

Sarge, I'm scared why don't
we call the whole thing off?

Do you like this, I
finally got my foot

in the Bank of England he
wants to call the whole thing off.

Now Doberman listen to
me and listen to me good,

I've known you for 10 years.

You've always been a poor slob.

Now are you gonna chicken out

when you finally got a
chance to be a wealthy slob?

Lord Rockford, will
see you now, Sir.

Oh splendid you better
wait here, your Lordship.

This might be a shock to them.

I'll prepare them for
the emotional upheaval.

Why Lord Rockford, and Lady
Rockford, why bless your heart.

- I'd know you anywhere.
- Have we met before?

No, but I've known
your son for 15 years,

and there's a
marked resemblance.

- My son?
- You know my son?

Now, now Victoria,
don't get your hopes up.

I'm sorry Sergeant, but we've
had so many disappointments.

But I have definite proof

that your long search
is finally ended.

But how can you be
sure that it's our boy?

Oh he has a birthmark
on his upper left arm.

Yes.

And I discovered
that he was found

in Allentown,
Pennsylvania 35 years ago.

Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Why Lady Rockford
and I were in Philadelphia

when our son wandered
away from his governess.

We haven't seen him since.

Where is he,
Sergeant? Where is he?

I'm sure I'd know my baby
boy even after all these years.

Come Lord Montague, your
Mom and Daddy are waiting.

As you can see he's
lost none of the baby fat

from his sturdy
little frame, yes.

Well, I had a
little doubt before

but now seeing you 3
together, I am definitely sure.

Why he has the same
noble Rockford forehead,

the same Rockford chins,
the standing of an aristo...

Please, Sergeant. What
do you think, Victoria?

Please, Lady
Rockford, all Englishmen

can't look like
Laurence Olivier.

It's him, oh Edward
I'm sure it's him!

- My baby!
- Welcome home, son.

We've so much lost
time to make up for.

- Yes, Daddy.
- My baby, my baby!

Oh there, there Mom, don't cry.

The 3 of you are
all together now.

Sergeant, we're
terribly grateful to you

for your help in
finding our dear son.

Oh please, say no more.

I find it very gratifying to
get the 3 of you together,

more gratifying than
the $5,000 reward.

Oh yes, I'll send you
a cheque tomorrow.

Oh, your Lordship, you didn't
think I was prompting you.

However, I am staying
at the Clift Hotel.

Well, cheerio to all of you.

You've got a fine boy
there Lord Rockford.

A little rough around the edges

but the Army life
you understand.

Don't worry about that.

I'll hire the finest
English tutors.

They'll transform him into

a polished English
nobleman in no time at all.

Oh splendid, splendid.
That is the Clift Hotel.

You ought to write
that down, Clift.

Shoulders 19, chest 42,

waist, waist... good heavens!

Good heavens!

En garde, my lord.

Now remember, parry and thrust.

Parry and thrust.
Now you try, my Lord?

How's this?

Observe, the whole thing is
done in one graceful motion.

So, good.

Would you try again, my Lord?

Here, the spoon.

Good.

Sgt. Bilko, to see you, my Lord.

Show him in.

We'll continue our
lesson tomorrow.

Hey, Dobie, you look great.

Did you ever see
anything so elegant?

How do you feel?

- Quite well, thank you.
- Oh did you hear that?

Rex Harrison never
spoke so beautifully.

Hey your Lordship,
I got a great idea.

Why don't you borrow a few
pounds from Pater tonight,

and we'll do the town, right?

- I think not.
- What?

Now sorry if I seem
a bit stuffy, Sergeant,

but the idea of you and I

being seen together
in public will never do.

I don't understand.

Surely, you must realize
there's a rather wide

social gulf between us.

Oh, I see, you're
pulling my leg.

- That's a good joke.
- I'm quite serious, old bean.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I must join Mater and
Pater in the drawing room.

It's almost time for tea.

Oh wait a minute, Duane
you can't be serious...

Do you mind! Duane?

Surely you must realize
that's all in the past.

Now the butler will show you
out through the servant's section.

Cheerio, chaps.

I'll kill him! I'll kill him!

Come on now Ernie. Take it easy.

Don't make a scene.

I introduced him to 50 million
bucks and he gives me a cheerio?

Give him a few days, Ernie.

- Maybe he'll change his mind.
- A few days?

A few days ago he was ironing
my shirts, doing my laundry.

Oh no, suddenly
we are not buddies.

I don't understand this pal.

He ain't gonna
get away with this.

I ain't gonna let
50 million bucks

slip through my
fingers so easily, pal.

Forget about it, Sarge.

There's nothing you
can do about it now.

Oh yes there is.

You got an idea already, Sarge?

I sure have, pal,
a beautiful blonde.

That's the spirit, Sarge.
Forget Doberman.

- Oh shut up!
- What's the plan, Ernie?

Now look, we may
have lost our connection

with the future Lord Rockford,

but what's to stop us
from getting in good

with the future
Lady Rockford, huh?

Now look, Doberman never
had a real date in his life.

When the word gets
out about this loot,

he's gonna become
very popular suddenly.

He's a cinch to
marry the first dame

who shows any interest in him.

Yeah, but what's in it for you?

If you were a young
lady suddenly introduced

to 50 million bucks, would you
be grateful to the matchmaker?

What? What?

I'm used to your shady deals,
Ernie, but this one's pitch black.

- Oh knock it off!
- Hey Sarge, who's the girl?

My old pal, Dixie.

But you can't make her
Lady Rockford she's a stripper.

So what was Lady
Godiva, a debutante?

Now let me get
this straight, Bilko.

You want me to meet
this friend of yours, huh?

Yeah, object, matrimony.

Thanks a lot, but I ain't
interested in getting married

especially to a friend of yours.

Now wait a second, Dixie.

Don't be hasty.

You and Monty were
meant for each other.

What does he look like?

Well, uh, he's very
interesting you know,

very warm, very lovable.

I get it, short,
fat and repulsive.

And worth 50 million bucks.

- He sounds divine.
- Dixie you're a hopeless romantic.

All right, don't be
a wise guy, Bilko.

Burlesque ain't the easiest
way to make a living you know.

- I had pneumonia twice last year.
- Don't tell me baby.

Believe me my heart goes
out to you girls in Burlesque.

Let's get down to cases.
Is this guy really loaded?

Look, not only will he
inherit half of England

but a title as well.

You may be the next Grace Kelly!

What kinda title?

You may be known
as Lady Rockford.

Lady Rockford,
say that ain't bad.

Look Dixie, you
play ball with me

and you have twirled
your last tassle.

What's in it for you, Bilko?

Well, we'll discuss
that little matter

right before the ceremony.

What makes you
think he'll go for me?

Are you kidding?

This joker was the President
of the Marjorie Main Fan Club.

All you have to do is just
flutter your eyes at him.

Sarge, Sarge, he's
on his way down.

I told him we were
going back to camp.

- We just wanted to say goodbye.
- Good, good!

Now look, you know what to do.

Here he comes, Sarge.

- Where where?
- That's him, in the doorway.

Are you forgetting our idea?

Are you sure he's
got 50 million bucks?

- I'm positive.
- Well, okay.

But if it's one cent
less, I'm beating it.

Don't forget flutter your...

You wished to see me, Sergeant?

Oh yes, your Lordship, we
were going back to camp.

We just thought
we'd say goodbye.

Oh come on old boy, that
wasn't absolutely necessary.

Well, I thought
that the least...

Please, if you don't
mind you belong

to an interlude in my life
that I find in very poor taste.

Ah, your Lordship,
I'd like you to meet

a very dear friend of mine.

This is Miss Dixie Darcel.

I think you should
meet each other.

This is Lord Montague,
Lord of Rockford.

Glad to meet you, Lord.

- Ah.
- He's adorable.

Oh your Lordship, please
don't look at her that way.

She's my girl I'm
very fond of her

what chance have I got
against you with all your dash,

and all that money.

Oh Dixie, please honey,
don't look at him that way.

I know I'm just a
poor old Sergeant,

but you mean all
the world to me.

Oh it's hopeless, the last
time I saw this look in her eye

is when she met Ali Khans.

- Sarge, he likes her.
- Ssh!

- You'll break the spell!
- Out!

- Let me see now, there's 5,000...
- Ernie...

Will you stop. You know
better than to interrupt me

when I'm counting money.

You see $5,000, for the reward

plus say 25% of
Dixie's take, split 3 ways.

Split it 2 ways, I don't
want any part of this.

Oh, I've had it. I've had it!

All right Frank
Merriwell, out with it!

- What's bugging you?
- This time you went too far.

Its criminal throwing Doberman

in the same tank
with that barracuda.

Somebody else would be worse.

Her at least I can handle.

How do you think
Lord and Lady Rockford

are gonna feel when they
find a strip-teaser in the family?

Look, if they accepted
Doberman, they'll accept anybody.

It's still not right.

Yeah it's right for him
to turn his back on me

after 15 years of friendship?

Come in.

- Hiya fellas.
- Doberman.

Sarge, you made me the
happiest man in the world.

- I did, your Lordship?
- Your Lordship?

Oh, Sarge, that's just
for around the house.

- We're old friends.
- We are?

Come on sit down Dobbie.

Sarge, I want to apologize.

Even though I'm of royal
blood, we're still buddies.

We are?

Sarge, you're not sour because
I took Dixie away from you?

Oh those things can't be helped.

What can do you the
girl's madly in love with you.

You know Sarge, I
got a surprise for you.

- What?
- We're gonna get married.

No.

Yeah, I think she
proposed to me last night.

Congratulations, Dobie,

I hope you, Dixie and
Bilko will be very happy.

You know Sarge she's not
interested in my money or my title.

- She loves me for myself.
- Oh gee, that's swell!

Say Sarge, I want
you to be our best man.

Well, I'd be honoured.

Look, I'm introducing her to
Mater and Pater this afternoon.

- I'd be glad to have you come.
- Yeah, I'll be there.

I'd be glad to.

Well, Sarge, I'm off to
buy an engagement ring.

You know, Dixie has made
me the happiest man in the world

and I owe it all to you.

- Thanks again.
- Swell, swell!

Good luck Dobie.

It worked it worked! We're in!

And then after they're married,

Dixie will fleece
him out of plenty.

Yeah.

Then we get our cut,
and we're rolling in loot.

Jeez, I've gotta
hand it to you, Sarge.

You're a financial wizard.

- Why don't you shut up!
- What's the matter, Ernie?

Isn't this what you wanted?

That bleached
bandit will take him

for everything he's got and
then she'll break his heart.

How did I do a thing like this?

Why didn't you stand
still and let me do it?

Well, it's not
too late to stop it.

You're right I
talked Dixie into this,

I'll talk her right out of
it if have to use a club.

Give him up? Are you nuts?

We're getting married tomorrow.

I can't give him up
for at least 2 weeks.

Oh Dixie, don't do this to
me. Don't ruin both our lives.

What are you
trying to pull, Bilko?

Well, Dixie I see I'll
have to level with you.

I never realized how
much you meant to me

until I found you're
going with another.

Oh Dixie, I'm hopelessly
in love with you.

- Hopeless is right!
- Oh come think of it, Dixie.

Think twice, think of all
the fun we've had together,

all the things we've shared.

What things, we had chop
suey together exactly twice,

and I paid both times.

Oh Dixie, please don't
leave me. I need you.

You don't need me.
You need a psychiatrist.

Will you excuse me? I gotta
go meet my future in-laws.

Well, that's it.

Look Sarge, why don't
you level with Doberman.

Tell him what the score is.

You can't do that, for
the first time in his life

Doberman thinks a girl
is really in love with him.

If we tell him it was a
setup, It would destroy him.

You better think
of something fast.

She's on her way
to see his parents.

I know it... his
parents, that's it.

Doberman is a good
boy he wouldn't marry

without his parents'
consent, huh?

Pay the cheque,
I'll see you later.

Sgt. Ernest Bilko.

Oh Sergeant, Sergeant,
I'm terribly glad you're here.

- We need your help.
- What's wrong?

They've located our
son in Philadelphia.

Oh wait a minute,
that's impossible.

I just left him 15 minutes ago.

Oh no, no Sergeant,

that was an unfortunate
case of mistaken identity.

Pvt. Doberman is
not our son after all.

Here, read this telegram,
it explains everything,

the fingerprints match
the blood type checks,

birthmark, everything.

Holy smokes, this leaves
no room for doubt, does it?

None whatsoever!

Oh I wish we knew
how we could break

the news to Pvt. Doberman.

He's been so sweet.

Sergeant, perhaps you
could handle this for us.

Quite honestly, I
haven't the heart.

- Where is he now?
- He'll be here at any moment.

All right, you better
get out of that door.

I'll take care of it.

Oh thank you,
thank you Sergeant.

I'll do my very best.

Hello Sarge, where's
Mater and Pater?

Come in Duane. Sit down.

I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you.

- What's wrong?
- Pal it was all a mistake.

Yes, Sir a mistake you're
not Montague Lord Rockford.

- I'm not.
- No I'm afraid you have to go back

to being just plain
Pvt. Duane Doberman.

Well, I know it was
too good to be true.

Well, c'est la vie.

I must say you're
taking it well.

Why not? I still have Dixie.

You what?

Yeah, she told me she's
not interested in money.

It's me that she's in love with.

She said that?

Yeah, she said it was
animal magnetism.

- How about you, do you love her?
- With all my heart.

Well, then I'm afraid
you'll have to give her up.

Give her up?

It's the only decent thing to
do. She's a lovely beautiful thing.

Now could she live on
your Private's salary?

Do you wanna see her
scrubbing floors, doing dishes?

Do you wanna see her
grow old and withered

right before your very eyes?

Gee, I never thought of that.

Well, think of it now
and if you really love her,

you'll have to give her up.

It's a far better thing
to do in giving her up.

But Sarge, what am I gonna
tell her, she's mad about me?

Well, tell her you
found someone else.

It will devastate her for a
few years, but she'll get over it.

- Well, I know it must be done.
- Good show.

Miss Dixie Darcel.

Monty, sweetheart,
how are you, baby?

My dear, if you
have quite finished.

There's something
I must tell you.

- It's all over between us.
- What?

There's somebody else.

Sorry, but that's the
way the cookie crumbles.

Wait a minute, what
are you trying to say?

Who do you think
you're talking to you...

Tut Tut! No tears, my dear.

It's just one of those things.

Now may I hold you for the
last time before I say goodbye.

Oh wait, you
can't do this to me.

I'll sue you for breach
of promise so fast

you won't know what hit you.

- Who do you think you...
- Dixie, here, read this.

- Just my lousy luck.
- Oh your luck will change, Dixie.

You may not think so now,

but there are other
men in this world.

Now go, goodbye.

- Thanks for nothing, Bilko.
- Oh the poor girl.

She's taking it so badly.
I'm proud of you pal.

Let's get back to camp.
You did this beautifully.

James Mason couldn't
have handled it better.

It was your idea, Sarge
and I'm so thankful.

You can count on
me any time, pal.

Sarge, what did I ever do
to deserve a pal like you?

I don't know, but
don't do it again.

Shall we have a spot?
Yeah, a spot of chipped beef.

Announcer: Also seen
in tonight's cast were:

Jane Kean as Dixie.

Ronald Long as Lord Rockford.

Lucy Landau as Lady Rockford.

And George Turner as the butler.

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