The Phil Silvers Show (1955–1959): Season 2, Episode 12 - Bilko's Tax Trouble - full transcript

At the Bureau of Internal Revenue Bilko's file is mistakenly actioned for investigation leading Bilko to swamp their offices with receipts and records for his activities during 1953. He needs to show that he didn't have any undeclared profits and so has to set about balancing his books. This leads him to; having to convince Paparelli that he really did go to Atlantic City; conning Colonel Hall into buying himself a loving cup; and an impromptu New Year's Eve Party for the entire platoon - just 3 years late. With the help of the WAC Team in Colonel Hall's office and a couple of army accountants from payroll Bilko clears his name....just.!

- Baker.
- No.

- Berking.
- No.

- Bender.
- No.

Where do you stand, Tom?

Well, just a few more cases
and we'll clean up 1953.

Good, right on schedule.

- Bernard.
- No.

- Bilko.
- No.

- Billings.
- Wait a minute... Billings.

That Wilbur J. Billings?

- Yes Sir, it is.
- Oh, that's our man, yeah.



We'll have to call him in.

He's deduction happy,
send him form 308.

Yes Sir, I'll get one.

Elliot, investigation... Who?

- Billings?-Check.

I'll bring it right
in Sir. Right.

Hannah, come right
to the Chief's office.

Yes Mr. Elliot.

Oh look Honey, will you
send out a 308 form for me.

- Who to?
- Oh it's right here on top,

and look, you better
send it right away.

Bilko, Ernest...

Gentlemen I am shocked,
utterly shocked to think that

not one of you has bought a
ticket to Saturday night's dance.



Gentlemen if we were
celebrating just another holiday

I would say, "So what?"

but need I remind you,

we're celebrating Don
Ameche's birthday!

Now let's get those tickets
moving, oh come on fellows.

Look at it this
way, it's not for you.

It's not for me. It's for Don.

Oh come on forget
it. All right, forget it.

I tried.

See, like my own
flesh and blood I tried.

I can't help it if they
won't cooperate.

- It's going fine.
- Sarge, we didn't sell a ticket.

They'll be in here in a
minute pleading for tickets.

That typed letter
that I made myself,

did you slipped
it in the mail bag?

Yeah, the one you
mailed to yourself Sarge?

They should be ready about.

- Bilko.
- There it is.

Papparelli, Kadowski,
Fleishman, Zimmerman.

Papparelli.
- Oh is there something for me?

Yeah, here is one for you Sarge.

Oh who can this be
from? Citizen's Committee?

Strange.

Are they kidding?

Why those miserable hypocrites
I'd like to see them stop me.

How dare they even think
that they can stop me?

- I won't put up with it.
- Boy, is he mad?

What's that letter?

It's from the
Citizen's Committee

to Protect the Morals
of the American Soldiers.

- Our morals?
- Be quiet.

"Attention Sgt. Bilko.
This is a final warning.

We have just been secretly
informed as to the entertainment

you have planned under
the innocent title of your

"Don Ameche Birthday Dance."

We wish to remind
you that it is punishable

by fine or imprisonment
to have a beautiful,

ravishing, scantily
dressed show girl,

wiggle her way out
of a birthday cake."

Eh, there's going to
be a girl in the cake?

Quiet. Quiet.

"As for the film portion
of your entertainment,

we have checked and
we find that Mr. Ameche

never appeared
in a picture called,

"Ladies' Night in
a Russian Bath."

Ladies night in...
I want to 2 tickets.

Me too! 2 tickets.

No, no fellows, fellows please
I'm sorry, the dance is off.

I can't take those.

If you insist but on
these conditions,

I will only sell tickets to the
older and more reliable men.

Nobody in this platoon
under 12 can buy a ticket.

Okay. How many tickets?

Hold it! Sell those tickets
outside the barracks,

that's how we beat it from
becoming a federal rap.

- Okay this way.
- Please, please.

- Oh boy a girl in a cake.
- I hope it's chocolate.

You're right Sarge.

You're the greatest
living American today.

I keep telling that to the
people, but they won't listen.

- What's that?
- A letter for you.

- For real?
- Yeah.

Bureau of Internal Revenue?
Bureau of Internal Revenue?

Ah, it's probably nothing.

Now look, if the government
wants to write me about nothing,

I'd wish they do
to the Bureau of

Wildlife Preservation
or something.

What does it say Sarge?

You're 1953 income
tax is under investigation.

My 19 get me my 1953 tax income.

- Tax income yeah right.
- Yeah.

This is a laugh. They
want to have a chat with me.

It must be a mistake Sarge.
Of course it's a mistake.

There it is in black and white.

There is a measly
Sergeant's salary.

There is my legitimate
deductions. Are they kidding?

They've got me on nothing
except maybe poor penmanship.

I need more tickets? Here.

Are they kidding?

I'll just walk out and I
lay it right into his kisser

I'll say there is it is buddy.

There is it is every
cent I made in 1953.

Sarge, this is your biggest take
since the 300 bucks you made

under Lady Godiva dance in 1953.

Well, I'll look him straight
in the eye and I'll say,

if you're going to put me
in jail for um, I didn't report

a measly $300 that I made on
a Lady Godiva dance in 1953?

- Sarge.
- This is it.

This is what they
had up their sleeve.

- You didn't report it?
- Why?

All the money I make on these
dances I lose on the horses.

I'm a non-profit organization.

But Sarge, you don't understand.

You've to report
every cent of income.

How could they have
found out about that?

Some informer, some
creep who bought a ticket

and didn't have a good time.

- He must have squealed.
- Who could that be?

- How many guys are on this post?
- About 4,000.

That narrows it down to 4,000.

What are you going to do Sarge?

What am I going to
do? I'll show them.

Here, get me a list of
every dance I ran in 1953.

All of them?

So, you made a
settlement with Billings.

- Well, do I ever fail?
- Good.

That clears up to '53.
You can start on 1954.

- Sgt. Bilko.
- Yes.

Sgt. Bilko of the
United States Army.

I'm terribly proud of it.
- Is there anything that we can...?

Yes, perhaps you can explain why

with a million tax
dodgers going around free,

you see fit to take a soldier
away from his line of duty,

away from the
defense of his country?

- Defense?
- Yes.

While this minute Russia
maybe planning a sneak attack,

I want you to be able to
explain what I'm doing in here

having an informal chat
about some 1953 income tax.

Look Sergeant.

Oh no, look Sergeant perhaps,
I'm treading on some toes here.

Perhaps I did, look at me
men when I'm addressing you.

Oh, perhaps I've
stumbled on something.

Perhaps I've stumbled
on the answer to a question

that all America
would like to know.

Where was our Army
on Pearl Harbor Day?

Well I think I can
answer that question.

They were probably
all in tax offices

explaining their
1940 income tax.

Sergeant, if you'll explain.

Oh sure, have me in
for a little chat, huh?

Want some new faces around here,

probably got tired of
talking to Joe Louis.

Hey, well here I am.

Sergeant, what are
you talking about?

Oh, good so this is cute.

What about, pretending
he doesn't know.

Pretending you don't
know about my dances

that some filthy stool pigeon.

See, here it is. I
have nothing to hide.

- Sergeant Sgt. Bilko.
- Yes.

- What is it?
- I want this slur removed what!

Sgt. Bilko nobody
wants to send you to jail.

Oh sure, that's what
they've told poor Al Capone.

No, you don't.

I want this slur removed
from my record, right there Sir.

It's from your desk, Tom.

Clear it up. Everybody
back to your desk.

Bilko? Sgt. Bilko.

Oh, now I remember.

This got mixed up
with the Billings case,

it was sent out by mistake.

Don't give me that
routine about mistakes.

I want, it was a mistake?
- Yeah.

You fellows are doing
a bang-up job here.

I think it's something to be
admired the way you men stay...

You got Billings, huh?
Well give it to him good.

- Don't let him get away.
- Just a moment Sarge.

- Yes.
- About these dances, Sir.

What about the dances?

87 dances in 1953, that
comes to a dance every 4 days.

Well, it just keeps the
men alert, you understand.

Where are you stationed,
Fort Arthur Murray.

Ha! Ha ha!

Sir, that was a Jim-Dandy
the way can out with,

and they say civil
service employees,

are humorless,
that's funny, funny.

Well, I have to go.
- Wait.

- I knew he'd say that.
- Yes?

Sergeant, in as much as
you've now called our attention

to all these
money-making activities,

we have no other course
than to investigate them.

Investigate?

Why this very moment in
Moscow there are friends dying...

We know about that
Sergeant. We know about that.

Yes.

And we also know that
anybody who comes in here

and tries to browbeat us is
usually trying to hide something.

Hide? I have nothing to hide.

Good. What makes you... Please

There is nothing to
hide Sir. Good, good.

Now if you'll just bring
in all of your records

about these activities.
- Records?

Of course we can send
some of our men down

and talk to your boys.

No, no. I will have
the records here.

I have kept a record
as we say in the Army,

put it down on paper.

And as we say in the bureau,

where there is
smoke there is fire.

Funny, funny! You do come out.

Well, I'll go shrapnel in my
hip and see it keeps starting.

You have 48 hours.

- Duty rosters!
- Oh hey, Ernie, where you...

Shh! Shh! pretend that you're
looking at the duty rosters.

- What?
- Shh!

Are there any strange men in
around here checking on me?

- On you?
- Make believe I said

something funny. Laugh
ha ha ha look at that?

Yes, I just, Joanie I'm in
trouble. They're after me.

- After you?
- The treasury men.

The T. men, it's about
my 1953 income tax.

I've gotta prove I
didn't make a cent

on any of my social activities.

Well, honey if there
is anything I can do.

You can, you can baby.
You got the girl power here.

I'll bring in the records.
You show that it all balances.

- I showed no profit.
- I don't know what I can do.

Joanie, don't give
me a brush off answer.

Look, if you don't want
to see these stripes,

going this way,
you got to help me.

- What do you want me to do?
- Here is.

Shhh! Mmm, T man!

Well, have you been to
any of Sgt. Bilko dances?

Yes, I had a wonderful time.

Doesn't he do a grand job,
and he gives so much of himself

Yes he does. And never
makes a cent of profit,

only thinking about the
boys away from home.

He's never done anything.

Do you ever see more obvious
disguise for a T man huh?

Ernie, that's your imagination.

Imagination, nothing,
it's later than you think

honey we got to work fast.

Here honey, here is my records

for the first 2
weeks of January.

Work on those, there is
old posters in that, tickets,

all kinds of stuff, just make
them balance and we don't show.

All right fellows,
don't talk to that man

with the water cooler.
Get away from him!

Get it moving, come on! Come on!

But what's going on?

Look, don't ask questions;
just do as you're told.

And don't talk to any
strangers carrying water coolers.

On the double
move how is it going?

How is everything balancing?

We're stuck on Lady
Godiva dance Sarge.

What do you mean?

Anytime, every time we add
up the profits, you show a profit.

- We got the rental of the horse down.
- Wait a minute.

How about that girl who was
supposed to play Lady Godiva,

she walked out I got laid out
$40 of my personal money,

to get her long blonde
wig for Doberman.

Yeah, but Sarge we
can't find a bill of the wig.

I've got to think
everything, don't worry.

We're going to get
Doberman to testify.

Doberman I want
everything to balance.

Work on every
record that you see.

You wanted me Sarge.

Oh look Duane, I want you
to go down administration

and have it notarized that
you're were our Lady Godiva

in the dance we ran in 1953.

But Sarge, you promised
nobody would know.

Look I didn't say a
word, the horse talked.

- The horse?
- Sarge, we still.

- On the double come on move!
- Now, what do you got there?

Sarge, we still
show a profit of $160.

Put it down that I gave
$160 to a veterinarian.

- Veterinarian?
- Yes.

- Doberman sprung the horse.
- But Sarge.

Now look, you're supposed
to be mathematical geniuses,

I had you transferred
for paymasters.

Now I'm paying you
20 cents an hour?

Let's see some results here.

Hey, Sarge, check this will you
some of the entries are blurred,

50 pair of dice $5, 10 cases
of beer, 7 harem girl costumes.

- What affair was that?
- Oh yes, that was the Four-H dance.

- Put it down.
- Hey Bilko.

- Yeah.
- I'm out on this?

- What's wrong, what?
- This Goodbye April Hello May Dance

is that one dance or two?
- Sarge, that's 2 dances.

Don't you remember?

At midnight you emptied
the hall at the Goodbye April

and then you let
in the Hello Mays.

Right, it was a twilight
doubleheader, put it down.

Say Tom, we can't
start checking 1954

until every '53 case is in.

I see you still got
one unfinished case.

Oh it's just this
Sgt. Bilko 1953 tax.

If you need any help, the
boys are just sitting around.

No, I'm waiting for him now.

I'll finish this up
in 15 minutes.

- What's this?
- Sgt. Bilko's tax records for 1953.

- His records?
- Now where do you want the rest?

The rest?

This is just the first
2 weeks in January.

First 2 weeks of
January? Look Chief.

- What did you do to us?
- All I did was.

All you did was put it on
our list for investigation,

and now we've got to check it.

Handerson, Goldberg,
Abernasey, give Tom a hand here

and clean up this mess.

Don't worry Chief,
if I work all night

I can clean this up
by tomorrow morning.

Look about his Goodbye
April, Hello May Dance.

It's 2 dances.

Sgt. Hogan, will you check
these training schedules?

Oh I'm sorry, you're
busy. Sally, please check.

- Excuse me Colonel.
- Oh I'm sorry.

- Ah, Mary will you.
- Excuse me Colonel.

- Pardon me Colonel.
- Oh sorry, excused.

- Jeeps ready!
- Jeep, what jeep?

- Excuse me Colonel.
- Oh I'm sorry.

We certainly are
busy around here.

Oh no, war games! Tomorrow!

Alert the post why
didn't somebody tell me.

I'm always the last to know.

- Colonel, this is 1953 records.
- Oh 1953 I see.

Yes, you see we are
rechecking all our 1953 records.

Good, good.

Keep working, keep
working, I'll check these.

Let's put this over the top!

- Joanie, Joanie.
- Yes.

I found the figures
on my essay contest,

"Why I Want to be Arthur Miller?"
- Where are they?

They were scribbled on
the door in the stockroom.

I had the door take off the
boys are bringing it over.

- Oh fine.
- How is everything going here?

Well we finally balanced your

"Let's get behind
Miss America" dance.

Good girl.

We found the Papparelli
won door prize.

You know that all-expense
trip to Atlantic City?

- Yeah.
- That took care of the $160 profit.

- Fine let's look.
- Hold it.

Take that out of
the records, quick.

Well honey it's
at the tax office.

Oh no, they got me.
Now they got me.

What's the matter
Papparelli won didn't he?

He won, but he didn't get there.
He never got to Atlantic City.

I convinced, I convinced him
Atlantic City was a condemned city.

I told him there were
termites in the boardwalks.

Sarge, think of something.

Sarge, them tax guys
are going to ask Papparelli

if he ever went to Atlantic
City and he's going to say no.

He's the one guy in the
platoon that never lies.

Yeah I know, if I
could've just gotten

my hands on him in
his formative years.

- This is pure, pure tax evasion.
- I got it.

What? Good.

All we've got to do is
refresh Papparelli's memory

about his glorious
weekend in Atlantic City.

Sergeant, what
memory? He didn't go.

His memory will be
completely refreshed

when he sees the
souvenirs of the trip.

You know, the salt water
taffy, the picture of the girl

he left behind, the hotel towel.

Sarge, he has no
souvenirs from Atlantic City!

I know, but I have.
Come on, let's go.

- Ernie, you can't.
- Honey look, face it.

It's Atlantic City for
Papparelli or Atlanta for me.

I've got to go.

Don't talk to that man
with the water cooler.

Work, work, I want everything
to tally, everything to check.

- Sarge.
- What?

- Papparelli just came in.
- Did you get everything planted?

- Yeah.
- The salt water taffy, the picture,

the towel, everything?
- Roger everything.

Move, move! All right,
work around here.

Everybody get down
here, on the move.

And the rest of you
guys stop goofing off,

we've got a full day
ahead... oh, hey Papparelli.

Hey Sarge.

How are things going
in the paint shop?

Oh we finished the staff car.

We were just about
to start on the captains,

but the fellows they... Sarge,

what are you looking
for in my foot locker?

- Oh, here it is.
- What's that?

Salt water taffy
you brought back

from your week in
Atlantic City in 1953.

Look, I was thinking
about the paint shop.

- Sarge.
- What?

What weekend trip to
Atlantic City in 1953?

Oh cut it out Papparelli.

You know I read some place, if
you work too long amongst paint,

it accounts to loss of memory.

Maybe I ought
to transfer for you.

Sarge, I was never
in Atlantic City!

That business about Esther
it still rankles you, doesn't it?

Now look suppose I
switch you to carburetors.

Sarge. What?

Who's Esther?

3 years and you're still
carrying a torch, huh?

- A torch?
- Why don't you forget about it Dino.

There are a lot of
other girls in the world.

Maybe they haven't got
Esther's figure but they are.

- Sarge.
- What?

- Who is Esther?
- Who is Esther?

Are you kidding?

That's all you talked about when
you came back from your weekend.

You and Esther on the
veranda of the Edgewater hotel.

Esther?

You and Esther here
you and Esther there.

Look Sarge, once and for all I
don't know anybody named Esther

and I was never in
Atlantic City in my entire life!

- You weren't, huh?
- No.

I've got to get you
out of that paint shop.

Atlantic City.

Thanks for the use
of your towel, Dino.

My towel? Hotel
Edgewater Atlantic City.

Hey I just picked up some mail.

- Here you've got a letter from home.
- Hey.

Sorry, Dino there is
nothing from Esther.

Esther?

I've got to get out
of that paint shop.

Where did this?

Hey, who put, "To Dino
Papparelli with all my love,

Esther, Atlantic City, 1953."

- Esther?
- She was really something, huh?

Yeah.

You mean, and you mean you
never once went back since 1953?

It was one of those things.

Are you kidding, the way
he makes time with dames,

what's one more beauty?

- Ha, hah!
- Ha cut it out.

And she really fills
out a bathing suit.

Believe me, this picture
doesn't do her justice.

You dog! Keeping
that all to yourself.

All right, come
on, what is this?

The social hour, there
is work to be done.

Oh, that's a
pretty looking girl.

Who is that? Esther.

Esther?

The little chick I met on the
veranda of the hotel Edgewater

in Atlantic City in 1953.

You were in
Atlantic City in 1953?

Don't you remember
I won that free trip

to Atlantic City at your dance?

Oh yes, I completely
forgot that.

That's right. Did
you hear about it?

He was in Atlantic City in 1953.

Joanie, Joanie, I found it.

I found it, the
unused tickets for the

"Hooray For Robert Fulton
Dance" that will show a loss.

Put it down. Now how
is everything going?

But we can't find
any records on your

"Armed Forces Three
Legged Day Race."

Wasn't that? Wasn't
that rained out?

Oh don't you remember
Fleischman and Zimmerman won it.

Oh yes I remember.

We couldn't get them
untied in time for the parade.

Remember how mad the Colonel was

when they hopped
by the reviewing stand.

This dance in
September, I can't seem

to make out the name of it.

That's simple, "Hail to
Our Fearless Dear Leader

Col. John T. Hall dance."

- Oh good, then it balances.
- It does?

See, that's when you took in $85

to have a silver loving cup
engraved for the Colonel.

Oh yeah. Trouble. Trouble.

- Now what is it?
- Colonel never got the cup.

Oh no.

Now look, I lost it
in that crap game

and that jeweler wouldn't
co-operate - he wanted cash.

Sarge, what if they
check with the Colonel,

and he don't even know about it.

They'll want to see
the loving cup Sarge.

No worry, they'll
see the loving cup.

- Take a letter.
- But Sarge, we're broke.

How are we going to buy a
loving cup for the Colonel now?

- We're not going to buy it.
- The Colonel is going to buy it.

The Colonel is going to
buy himself a loving cup?

Of course to replace the
one he lost that we gave him.

Sarge, Sarge, how
can he lose something

if we didn't give it to him?

Carelessness.

Now date the letter, ah,
September 10th 1953.

Ah Sgt. E. Bilko and committee

thank you so much for
the beautiful loving cup

and a lovely inscription,
"To Col. John T. Hall,

leader of men, gallant
fighter, human being."

signed Col. John T. Hall.

Now all I'm going to
do is get him to sign it.

He's going to sign that?
Papers, give me some paper.

Which papers?

Papers, any kind of
papers, lots of papers!

Get Gomez and Dillingham
have 'em stand by.

- Right Sarge.
- Come in.

Excuse me Sir, I
hate to trouble you Sir,

but these papers
have to be signed.

Well what is it?

Well it's a 36 page
resume about how we found

Dobermans fatigue cap in
1953, I think I can read it yes.

- At 0900 on a Friday...
- Never mind I'll sign it.

Oh would you sign it here
Sir, thank you very much.

And will you sign this Sir,
this is the virtues of the P.X

of the soldier consumer,
it's very important.

Would you sign that?

And this one here Sir,
it's not too important.

Right here, yes
sign that one there.

Thank you very much, Sir.

Oh you could sign just X
that one, so just give it an X.

Thanks you very much.
Sorry to have troubled you Sir.

What?

I can't remember what
happened to those reports.

The way things are going, I'm
lucky to remember my own name.

Come in.

Sir, so sorry to disturb
you, but they weren't here

when it happened Sir
and they want to see it.

See what?

The loving cup we
gave you in 1953 Sir.

- You gave me a loving cup in 1953?
- Oh yes.

You would have enjoyed it.

We scrimped and we saved
pennies until it came to $85,

and we had this lovely
cup engraved to you Sir

and they'd loved to see it, Sir.

- It was engraved?
- Yes Sir.

Oh I don't blame the
Colonel for forgetting it.

I forgot it myself until
accidentally came upon

this lovely thank
you note that you took

the trouble to write us, Sir.

My a thank you
note? Here it is, Sir.

Thank you, thank you
for the beautiful loving cup

and the lovely inscription,

"To Col. Hall, leader of men,
gallant fighter, human being."

Yes Sir and time hasn't
deluded our enthusiasm

and we feel the
same way today Sir.

Oh thank you Bilko.

Could we see it Sir because
the boys are so anxious?

They weren't here
when it was presented.

- See what?
- The loving cup that's engraved, Sir.

Oh, oh yes! The loving cup.

I don't see it here anyway.

Sir, don't, don't
break our hearts Sir

and tell us that when you
moved from your other office

you threw it out with
some other junk, Sir.

Please don't say that.

Oh no, I'd never throw it out.

It must be at home.
- Oh!

May we stop by your
home as we leave.

Oh no, no.

I, I will bring it in tomorrow
and I'll show it to you.

- Oh goody.
- Then you can see it tomorrow.

Thank you Sir.

Yes I'll bring it in tomorrow
and I'll show it to everybody.

That was a nice gesture.

Hallo, Kramer's Jewelry Store?

I'd like to order a loving
cup for immediate delivery.

Here is the inscription,
"To Col. Hall, leader of men,

gallant fighter, human being."

Who is this talking? Col. Hall.

Here check this one, June 10th,

Inter-Platoon
Canasta Tournament.

Oh Mr. Henderson had the
photograph of the winners.

I'll get him.
- All right.

Now on June 12th,
Benedict Arnold's birthday,

he ran a "Forgive
and Forget" dance.

Who's got the expenses on the

"Arber Day Plant Me
Now, Dig Me Later Picnic?"

- See Hannah.
- Hannah.

For heaven's sake
we've got to start on 1954.

Where do you stand on '53?

January and February in
Washington, March is on its way.

I'm checking April,
May and June.

July and August are
piled up in the corridors.

- Oh no!
- Here comes Autumn.

Come on, come
we're in the stretch.

Sarge, it's midnight.

Look, we only got one day
left in 53, now what did I do?

You ran a New Year's Eve
party, "Goodbye 1953, Hallo 1954."

- Oh yeah.
- You collected $26 in tickets.

Does that check?

That checks except that the New
Year's Eve party never came off.

Come on, get the New Year's
hats and the horns, quickly get.

Sarge, Sarge you're going to run

a 1953 New Year's Eve party
now in the middle of June?

I got to when they're
asked if they're had

a 1953 New Year's Eve
party, they've got to say yes.

Come on get all
the stuff, get it.

Come on!

But Sarge, everybody
is asleep out there.

Oh quiet! Up, up, up, up, up!

Fun everybody, fun. Up, up, up!

- What's going on?
- All right.

- Hats for everyone.
- Sarge, we're asleep.

Have a horn, horn,
come on everybody.

Now wait a minute.

You guys paid for a
1953 New Year's party

and you're going to get it.

We've got 10 seconds
to go. Let me see that.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5.

Happy New Year. Happy 1954!

- Nell, Nell wake up!
- What is it?

- Happy New Year!
- Oh Happy New Year.

Good bye 1953, Hallo 1954 Party.

26. It checks.

That's it. That's it.

Thanks for the help.

Pick up your checks
regular investigators

stand by for a week's vacation.

Oh we can get back to normal.

We're ready for the 1954 cases.

Send in the first case.

Oh it's going to be
good to get home tonight.

This is an outrage!

How dare you take a soldier
away from his line of duty?

Who called him in for 1954?
I want that man's name.

Got tired for
hounding me in 1953!

What do you got, a
Jean Valjean complex?

What do you want to
do? Chase me for this.

Well, I have the records,
fortunately on the double.

Announcer: Also seen
in tonight's cast were:

Elisabeth Fraser as Sgt. Hogan,

Alan Hewitt as Drummond

and Dan Frazer as Elliot.