South Park (1997–…): Season 11, Episode 13 - Guitar Queer-o - full transcript
Stan and Kyle become local celebrities after they score 100,000 points on the video game "Guitar Hero." A talent agent signs them to a contract, which ends up ruining their friendship.
"Guitar Queer-O"
I'm going down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time,
Friendly faces everywhere,
humble folks without temptation,
I'm going down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind,
Ample parking day or night,
people spouting howdy neighbor,
I'm heading out to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind,
I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it.
So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine,
Damn,
you guys are good!
Sharon, what are
the boys doing?
Oh, Stan and Kyle bought
a new video game together.
They can play guitar now?
No, no, they're just
little plastic controllers.
You hit the colored buttons and it makes
the guitar track on the game play.
If they spent half the time
learning a real instrument
as they do playing that game,
who knows
what they could accomplish.
Hey, yeah.
Dude, listen to that video crowd!
They love us!
- So you boys like this music, huh?
- Yeah, dude. It's Guitar Hero.
Stan and Kyle
are really good at it.
Well you kids wanna see something
really cool? Check this out.
Once, I rose above
the noise and confusion.
Just to get a glimpse
beyond this illusion.
I was soaring
ever higher
but I flew too high.
- Though my eyes could see I--
- Dad? Dad! What are you doing?
I can actually play a lot
of these songs on a real guitar.
You want me
to teach you boys how?
- Uh, that's gay, Mr. Marsh.
- Yeah, that's stupid, Dad.
- But--But this is real.
- Real guitars are for old people.
Do you mind, sir?
We wanna watch Stan and Kyle play.
Alright, let's try to score
60,000 points this time.
Are you ready to rock?
Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace
when you are done
Lay your weary head
to rest
Don't you cry
no more
Game over!
You suck!
They're gonna do it!
Come on, guys,
a hundred thousand points!
Cartman, shut up!
We're concentrating.
We did it!
You have broken
a hundred thousand points!
You are rock stars!
Dude, we are
total rock stars now!
You're not rock stars!
This is just
a stupid plastic controller.
Hang on.
- Stan Marsh?
- Yeah?
I'm Charles Kincaid,
from the Kincaid Talent Agency.
I just heard you broke a hundred
thousand points on Guitar Hero.
- Yeah, we did.
- Well, I'm impressed.
- And I'd like to be your manager.
- Wow, really?
Dude! Dude, Kyle, this guy
wants to be our manager!
- No way!
- For reals?
Scoring a hundred thousand
points is impressive,
but I think with
the right label behind you,
you boys could
make a million points.
That'd be awesome!
So, we're in business then?
- Well, what do you think?
- I like it. That's these boys playing?
No, that's Kansas.
But these boys scored
a hundred thousand points to it
on Expert Level
in Co-op Mode.
That's pretty
goddamn impressive.
Alright, we'll sign them
to a one-year deal.
Yes! You did it, boys.
Listen, boys, I'm having
a huge celebrity party
at my giant mansion
tonight.
Why don't you come by
as my honorary new artists?
Cool!
Wow, this is a huge party.
Oh yes, all the biggest stars
in Colorado are here.
Dude, dude, that's Ron Zappolo
from Channel 4 News!
Wow! Oh, and look over there,
that's that Jake Jabs guy
from American Furniture Warehouse
commercials.
Everyone? Everyone,
this is Stan and Kyle.
They just broke a hundred
thousand points on Guitar Hero.
Please enjoy yourselves, there's lots
more coke and sex in the house.
Dude! Dude, that's Jay Cutler
over there!
Quarterback
for the Denver Broncos!
- Oh my God!
- Would you boys like to meet him?
Are you serious?
Jay, I want you
to meet Stan and Kyle.
They broke a hundred thousand
points on Guitar Hero.
Wow, really?
Nice to meet you guys.
Nice to meet you!
I mean, you kind of suck, but my dad
says you might be good someday.
Thanks.
Alex, have you seen
my wife anywhere?
You boys know Tom Shane
from the Shane Company
Diamond Store commercials?
Do we?
He's a legend!
You remember
these boys, Tom.
They're gonna break a million points live
at the video arcade in a few weeks.
That would be impressive.
Dude, we've arrived.
We're super, awesome and cool.
Yeah. Life is finally going
to not suck so hard for us.
You rock!
All right,
nice rehearsal, boys.
Dude, I totally miffed that middle part.
Did you see that?
- Yeah dude, that's almost impossible.
- That was real cool, kids.
Hey, Kyle, there's
a different controller in my car
that might work better
for you.
Why don't you go with Jim
and he'll help you find it?
Oh, okay. Cool.
You've got real potential, kid.
I have no doubt you can break a million.
- Really? That'd be sweet.
- I think you could.
But as for your friend,
well, to be honest,
I think
he's holding you back.
What, you mean, Kyle?
Look, you score
a lot higher than him.
There's no question
who the better one is.
I wanna put you
with some other players,
find a partner for you who can
really help you max your score.
But, Kyle and I always play together.
We both chipped in for the game system.
It's very honorable.
But you know where loyalty gets you
in a game like Guitar Hero?
Nowheres.
Just listen to that video crowd.
I haven't heard a video crowd
go that wild in a long time.
You've got a chance
to score a million points,
and I hate to see you
throw it away
because you're worried
about your friend's feelings.
You're gonna love
this kid, Stan.
He's one of the best Guitar Hero
players I've ever seen.
Except for you, of course.
Ah, Thad!
- Stan Marsh, this is Thad Jarvis.
- 'Sup?
Thad here has backed up a lot
of really great Guitar Hero players.
Isn't that right, Thad?
Yup.
He doesn't even need
a game system to play on.
He can play Guitar Hero
acoustically.
Yeah, but can he play Buckethead
on Expert Level?
Go ahead, Thad.
Show him what you can do.
Check this out.
Pretty damn good, huh?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
But can you play "John the Fisherman"?
Stan, with this kid backing you,
you're gonna make Guitar Hero history.
Oh, I love this song.
Wow wee,
look at him go!
Hey dude, how's it--
Kyle.
I... I thought
you were sick.
Who is this?
- This is um... Thad Jarvis.
- 'Sup?
- What's going on, Stan?
- Kyle, I was gonna tell you later.
Mr. Kincaid thinks I should play with
Thad for a while.
But it's our game.
We bought it together.
I know, and--and
I wanna be fair about it, so,
I'll buy you
out of your part.
Buy me out?
What are you saying?!
What makes you so high and mighty
you can buy me out?
- Don't put this all on me, Kyle!
- Oh my God, this is so awesome.
You were the one that's been blowing off
playing after midnight,
- not playing because you were sick.
- I have been sick!
Look, the point is I'm never gonna break
a million points playing with you!
You know that's true!
I guess I didn't realize it was just
about the points.
Dude, this game rules.
Let's just do this,
all right?
Hey! You're the kid I sold
the Guitar Hero game to.
How are you liking it?
It's okay, I guess.
But I need some game guides for it.
My manager and producer set up
this live thing at the video arcade
where I'm supposed to break
a million in front of everybody
and I'm...
I'm stressing out.
Yeah, Guitar Hero
can be pretty stressful.
But you know,
maybe instead of a game guide,
you should just buy another game
to kind of, ease the stress.
- Have you ever heard of Heroin Hero?
- He--Heroin Hero?
It's a way easier game.
All you do is run around
a magical forest
and shoot simulated heroin.
You could call it
the ultimate first-person shooter.
And there's no score?
No crowds?
No, man.
All you do is run
through the pretty forest
and chase a big dragon.
But you don't ever catch the dragon.
You just... keep chasing it.
Chase me. Come on. This way.
Shoot up and then you can catch me.
Come on.
Dude, this is awesome.
How are they coming?
No worries, Mr. Hart. They'll be ready
for the big show in a few days.
They'd better be. I paid good money
to rent this place out.
Dammit!
Dude, suck.
Did you practice last night?
Yeah, I practised
last night!
Just shut up and play!
No, no, you know what?
Screw this!
I'm not playing this song!
Why did you pick this stupid song?
Stan, it's the song
we all agreed you would play.
Yeah? Well, I changed my mind!
We're changing the song to Cheap Trick!
No way.
I hate that bubblegum crap.
Yeah? Well you're not
the leader, are you, Thad?
We play the music
I wanna play!
Stan, why are you
so grumpy-grouchy?
We're playing what I want
and I'll select a different song!
Yeah?
Well, how about this one?
I quit.
I quit, I quit, I quit.
I quit, I quit, I quit.
I quit.
You know what?
That's great with me, Thad.
Because I don't need you to break
a million points!
I never did!
- Stan, what is the matter with you?
- I just wanna play alone, alright?
I can't concentrate with all these
assholes riding me all the time!
What is this?
Man...
- Are you playing Heroin Hero?
- Just, just a little.
No! Nobody plays
Heroin Hero a little!
You know, you never
catch the dragon!
I know, but it mellows
me out, okay?
You'd better
pull your act together,
because now you're gonna have
to break a million points
and unlock
superstardom solo!
No problem.
- Hey, beat it, kid! We wanna play now!
- I'm not done yet.
Hey, I know you.
You're Kyle Broflovski.
Didn't you used to have your own
Guitar Hero game system?
No. You're thinking
of somebody else.
Yeah, sure.
He's the kid that scored
a hundred thousand points.
- How come you're playing here now?
- Look, just go ahead and play, alright?
Leave me alone.
Can I get a Fresca,
please?
You're good
at that game, kid.
Too good to be playing
in a dump like this.
Yeah well, I can't really afford
to play anymore anyway.
I'm about
out of quarters.
Well look,
maybe I could use
some extra music playing
to this thing on weekend nights.
You come in, work around here a little
and maybe you can play it for free.
I appreciate what you're
trying to do, Mick,
but I ain't
a charity case yet.
Charity case,
I'm just trying to help out
a kid who's a little...
down on his luck is all.
Thanks, Mick.
Catch me.
Come on, catch me.
What's wrong?
Follow me. Come on.
Marsh?
Stan, you got--
Oh my God!
Get up, Stan!
Wake up!
Huh? What?
You're going on in ten minutes!
Everybody's coming to see you!
The dragon.
Where did it go?
You've gotta pull it
together!
Put it together,
goddammit!
Thank you for coming
to Gamecraft Arcade
to watch Stan Marsh
break a million points
and unlock superstardom.
- Go Stan!
- All right, Stan, you've got it, man!
Yeah, Stan.
Dude, what's the matter
with him?
He's been up for three days straight
playing Heroin Hero.
Come on, Stan!
You got it!
Goddammit, he's a mess!
Oh man,
I can't watch this.
What are you doing?
The video crowd is starting to boo!
Come on, guys.
Let's get out of here.
The next time you bring me some talent,
make sure they're talent-ed.
You blew it! You had it all
and you blew it!
Listen to that video crowd!
They hate you!
There he is!
So, did you break
a million yet?
No, I didn't break a million points
and unlock superstardom, all right?
I'm done
with that stupid game!
Aw, come on.
Once you start playing Guitar Hero,
you can't stop
till you reach the top.
I just wanna find
something else to play.
Have you played
Rehab Hero?
You get chased by a big dragon,
but you keep running away from it.
I just want a nice, simple driving game.
How's that?
Sure, kid. Sure.
All right, that was the Splendifs.
And now, here's a hit you all remember.
It's the song that
two local fourth grade boys
scored a 100,000 points to
on Guitar Hero.
Don't know whatever
happened to those boys.
I guess they're not
playing the game anymore.
Woke up to the sound
of pouring rain
The wind would whisper
and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried
that called my name
Kyle, could I just talk to you
for like five minutes?
- What are you doing here?
- Please, it won't take long.
Goddammit.
We're gonna take a short break.
Be back in five.
I was listening to you for a while.
Dude, you've gotten a lot better.
Oh, thank you! I was so eagerly awaiting
your approval of my abilities!
Look, Kyle, the game is still set up
at my house and...
maybe we could go try
playing it again over there.
Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to
rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity!
Oh, thank you,
your royal lordship!
That isn't it at all.
You don't get it, Stan!
I can play here all I want.
I even get free Frescas.
I don't need you anymore!
I know. I need you.
I thought I was having
a great time because
I was getting signed
by managers and...
going to big sex and coke parties,
but then I realized...
I was having fun because I was doing
all that with my best friend.
It was pretty fun,
wasn't it?
Yeah.
Look, I doubt we could break
a million together anyway.
I don't care.
I'd just like to play with you again.
For the fun of it.
I don't really see
the fun in
not trying to kick
that game's ass once and for all!
- What, you mean it?
- I think we can do it, Stan.
I've been close to a million
a few times by myself.
Then let's go, dude!
Oh wait. Wait,
I'm supposed to play here.
Hey, Mick, would you mind
if I stepped out for a sec?
Go on, get out of here, kid.
Who needs your wailing and
rocking around here anyways?
Thanks, Mick!
All right, dude,
let's do this.
What the hell?
Come on, come on.
You almost got me.
Catch me. Come on.
- Goddamnit! Dad, get off our X-Box!
- Hang on, I almost caught the dragon.
Hehe, you almost
caught me.
No, me and Kyle
are gonna play Guitar Hero!
I can get him! Wait!
Where's he going now?
You don't ever catch
the dragon, Dad!
No! No, I said!
I am your father! Put it back on!
Mom, will you get Dad
out of here?
- Stop cheating, Craig!
- How was that cheating?
Because you tricked me,
you black asshole!
Fellas! Fellas!
- They're gonna do it!
- What?
Stan and Kyle!
They're about to break a million on
Guitar Hero and unlock superstardom!
Oh, let's go!
Come on, let's go!
They're gonna do it!
- They did it!
- Oh my sweet J-Jesus!
You have played Guitar Hero enough
to reach one million points!
Congratulations!
You.
Are.
Fags.
That's it?
Goddammit!
Goddammit!
Butters,
you wanna play me next?
Okay, but I get to be
the one that betrays you
after the sex and drugs party.
I'm going down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time,
Friendly faces everywhere,
humble folks without temptation,
I'm going down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind,
Ample parking day or night,
people spouting howdy neighbor,
I'm heading out to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind,
I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it.
So come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine,
Damn,
you guys are good!
Sharon, what are
the boys doing?
Oh, Stan and Kyle bought
a new video game together.
They can play guitar now?
No, no, they're just
little plastic controllers.
You hit the colored buttons and it makes
the guitar track on the game play.
If they spent half the time
learning a real instrument
as they do playing that game,
who knows
what they could accomplish.
Hey, yeah.
Dude, listen to that video crowd!
They love us!
- So you boys like this music, huh?
- Yeah, dude. It's Guitar Hero.
Stan and Kyle
are really good at it.
Well you kids wanna see something
really cool? Check this out.
Once, I rose above
the noise and confusion.
Just to get a glimpse
beyond this illusion.
I was soaring
ever higher
but I flew too high.
- Though my eyes could see I--
- Dad? Dad! What are you doing?
I can actually play a lot
of these songs on a real guitar.
You want me
to teach you boys how?
- Uh, that's gay, Mr. Marsh.
- Yeah, that's stupid, Dad.
- But--But this is real.
- Real guitars are for old people.
Do you mind, sir?
We wanna watch Stan and Kyle play.
Alright, let's try to score
60,000 points this time.
Are you ready to rock?
Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace
when you are done
Lay your weary head
to rest
Don't you cry
no more
Game over!
You suck!
They're gonna do it!
Come on, guys,
a hundred thousand points!
Cartman, shut up!
We're concentrating.
We did it!
You have broken
a hundred thousand points!
You are rock stars!
Dude, we are
total rock stars now!
You're not rock stars!
This is just
a stupid plastic controller.
Hang on.
- Stan Marsh?
- Yeah?
I'm Charles Kincaid,
from the Kincaid Talent Agency.
I just heard you broke a hundred
thousand points on Guitar Hero.
- Yeah, we did.
- Well, I'm impressed.
- And I'd like to be your manager.
- Wow, really?
Dude! Dude, Kyle, this guy
wants to be our manager!
- No way!
- For reals?
Scoring a hundred thousand
points is impressive,
but I think with
the right label behind you,
you boys could
make a million points.
That'd be awesome!
So, we're in business then?
- Well, what do you think?
- I like it. That's these boys playing?
No, that's Kansas.
But these boys scored
a hundred thousand points to it
on Expert Level
in Co-op Mode.
That's pretty
goddamn impressive.
Alright, we'll sign them
to a one-year deal.
Yes! You did it, boys.
Listen, boys, I'm having
a huge celebrity party
at my giant mansion
tonight.
Why don't you come by
as my honorary new artists?
Cool!
Wow, this is a huge party.
Oh yes, all the biggest stars
in Colorado are here.
Dude, dude, that's Ron Zappolo
from Channel 4 News!
Wow! Oh, and look over there,
that's that Jake Jabs guy
from American Furniture Warehouse
commercials.
Everyone? Everyone,
this is Stan and Kyle.
They just broke a hundred
thousand points on Guitar Hero.
Please enjoy yourselves, there's lots
more coke and sex in the house.
Dude! Dude, that's Jay Cutler
over there!
Quarterback
for the Denver Broncos!
- Oh my God!
- Would you boys like to meet him?
Are you serious?
Jay, I want you
to meet Stan and Kyle.
They broke a hundred thousand
points on Guitar Hero.
Wow, really?
Nice to meet you guys.
Nice to meet you!
I mean, you kind of suck, but my dad
says you might be good someday.
Thanks.
Alex, have you seen
my wife anywhere?
You boys know Tom Shane
from the Shane Company
Diamond Store commercials?
Do we?
He's a legend!
You remember
these boys, Tom.
They're gonna break a million points live
at the video arcade in a few weeks.
That would be impressive.
Dude, we've arrived.
We're super, awesome and cool.
Yeah. Life is finally going
to not suck so hard for us.
You rock!
All right,
nice rehearsal, boys.
Dude, I totally miffed that middle part.
Did you see that?
- Yeah dude, that's almost impossible.
- That was real cool, kids.
Hey, Kyle, there's
a different controller in my car
that might work better
for you.
Why don't you go with Jim
and he'll help you find it?
Oh, okay. Cool.
You've got real potential, kid.
I have no doubt you can break a million.
- Really? That'd be sweet.
- I think you could.
But as for your friend,
well, to be honest,
I think
he's holding you back.
What, you mean, Kyle?
Look, you score
a lot higher than him.
There's no question
who the better one is.
I wanna put you
with some other players,
find a partner for you who can
really help you max your score.
But, Kyle and I always play together.
We both chipped in for the game system.
It's very honorable.
But you know where loyalty gets you
in a game like Guitar Hero?
Nowheres.
Just listen to that video crowd.
I haven't heard a video crowd
go that wild in a long time.
You've got a chance
to score a million points,
and I hate to see you
throw it away
because you're worried
about your friend's feelings.
You're gonna love
this kid, Stan.
He's one of the best Guitar Hero
players I've ever seen.
Except for you, of course.
Ah, Thad!
- Stan Marsh, this is Thad Jarvis.
- 'Sup?
Thad here has backed up a lot
of really great Guitar Hero players.
Isn't that right, Thad?
Yup.
He doesn't even need
a game system to play on.
He can play Guitar Hero
acoustically.
Yeah, but can he play Buckethead
on Expert Level?
Go ahead, Thad.
Show him what you can do.
Check this out.
Pretty damn good, huh?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
But can you play "John the Fisherman"?
Stan, with this kid backing you,
you're gonna make Guitar Hero history.
Oh, I love this song.
Wow wee,
look at him go!
Hey dude, how's it--
Kyle.
I... I thought
you were sick.
Who is this?
- This is um... Thad Jarvis.
- 'Sup?
- What's going on, Stan?
- Kyle, I was gonna tell you later.
Mr. Kincaid thinks I should play with
Thad for a while.
But it's our game.
We bought it together.
I know, and--and
I wanna be fair about it, so,
I'll buy you
out of your part.
Buy me out?
What are you saying?!
What makes you so high and mighty
you can buy me out?
- Don't put this all on me, Kyle!
- Oh my God, this is so awesome.
You were the one that's been blowing off
playing after midnight,
- not playing because you were sick.
- I have been sick!
Look, the point is I'm never gonna break
a million points playing with you!
You know that's true!
I guess I didn't realize it was just
about the points.
Dude, this game rules.
Let's just do this,
all right?
Hey! You're the kid I sold
the Guitar Hero game to.
How are you liking it?
It's okay, I guess.
But I need some game guides for it.
My manager and producer set up
this live thing at the video arcade
where I'm supposed to break
a million in front of everybody
and I'm...
I'm stressing out.
Yeah, Guitar Hero
can be pretty stressful.
But you know,
maybe instead of a game guide,
you should just buy another game
to kind of, ease the stress.
- Have you ever heard of Heroin Hero?
- He--Heroin Hero?
It's a way easier game.
All you do is run around
a magical forest
and shoot simulated heroin.
You could call it
the ultimate first-person shooter.
And there's no score?
No crowds?
No, man.
All you do is run
through the pretty forest
and chase a big dragon.
But you don't ever catch the dragon.
You just... keep chasing it.
Chase me. Come on. This way.
Shoot up and then you can catch me.
Come on.
Dude, this is awesome.
How are they coming?
No worries, Mr. Hart. They'll be ready
for the big show in a few days.
They'd better be. I paid good money
to rent this place out.
Dammit!
Dude, suck.
Did you practice last night?
Yeah, I practised
last night!
Just shut up and play!
No, no, you know what?
Screw this!
I'm not playing this song!
Why did you pick this stupid song?
Stan, it's the song
we all agreed you would play.
Yeah? Well, I changed my mind!
We're changing the song to Cheap Trick!
No way.
I hate that bubblegum crap.
Yeah? Well you're not
the leader, are you, Thad?
We play the music
I wanna play!
Stan, why are you
so grumpy-grouchy?
We're playing what I want
and I'll select a different song!
Yeah?
Well, how about this one?
I quit.
I quit, I quit, I quit.
I quit, I quit, I quit.
I quit.
You know what?
That's great with me, Thad.
Because I don't need you to break
a million points!
I never did!
- Stan, what is the matter with you?
- I just wanna play alone, alright?
I can't concentrate with all these
assholes riding me all the time!
What is this?
Man...
- Are you playing Heroin Hero?
- Just, just a little.
No! Nobody plays
Heroin Hero a little!
You know, you never
catch the dragon!
I know, but it mellows
me out, okay?
You'd better
pull your act together,
because now you're gonna have
to break a million points
and unlock
superstardom solo!
No problem.
- Hey, beat it, kid! We wanna play now!
- I'm not done yet.
Hey, I know you.
You're Kyle Broflovski.
Didn't you used to have your own
Guitar Hero game system?
No. You're thinking
of somebody else.
Yeah, sure.
He's the kid that scored
a hundred thousand points.
- How come you're playing here now?
- Look, just go ahead and play, alright?
Leave me alone.
Can I get a Fresca,
please?
You're good
at that game, kid.
Too good to be playing
in a dump like this.
Yeah well, I can't really afford
to play anymore anyway.
I'm about
out of quarters.
Well look,
maybe I could use
some extra music playing
to this thing on weekend nights.
You come in, work around here a little
and maybe you can play it for free.
I appreciate what you're
trying to do, Mick,
but I ain't
a charity case yet.
Charity case,
I'm just trying to help out
a kid who's a little...
down on his luck is all.
Thanks, Mick.
Catch me.
Come on, catch me.
What's wrong?
Follow me. Come on.
Marsh?
Stan, you got--
Oh my God!
Get up, Stan!
Wake up!
Huh? What?
You're going on in ten minutes!
Everybody's coming to see you!
The dragon.
Where did it go?
You've gotta pull it
together!
Put it together,
goddammit!
Thank you for coming
to Gamecraft Arcade
to watch Stan Marsh
break a million points
and unlock superstardom.
- Go Stan!
- All right, Stan, you've got it, man!
Yeah, Stan.
Dude, what's the matter
with him?
He's been up for three days straight
playing Heroin Hero.
Come on, Stan!
You got it!
Goddammit, he's a mess!
Oh man,
I can't watch this.
What are you doing?
The video crowd is starting to boo!
Come on, guys.
Let's get out of here.
The next time you bring me some talent,
make sure they're talent-ed.
You blew it! You had it all
and you blew it!
Listen to that video crowd!
They hate you!
There he is!
So, did you break
a million yet?
No, I didn't break a million points
and unlock superstardom, all right?
I'm done
with that stupid game!
Aw, come on.
Once you start playing Guitar Hero,
you can't stop
till you reach the top.
I just wanna find
something else to play.
Have you played
Rehab Hero?
You get chased by a big dragon,
but you keep running away from it.
I just want a nice, simple driving game.
How's that?
Sure, kid. Sure.
All right, that was the Splendifs.
And now, here's a hit you all remember.
It's the song that
two local fourth grade boys
scored a 100,000 points to
on Guitar Hero.
Don't know whatever
happened to those boys.
I guess they're not
playing the game anymore.
Woke up to the sound
of pouring rain
The wind would whisper
and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried
that called my name
Kyle, could I just talk to you
for like five minutes?
- What are you doing here?
- Please, it won't take long.
Goddammit.
We're gonna take a short break.
Be back in five.
I was listening to you for a while.
Dude, you've gotten a lot better.
Oh, thank you! I was so eagerly awaiting
your approval of my abilities!
Look, Kyle, the game is still set up
at my house and...
maybe we could go try
playing it again over there.
Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to
rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity!
Oh, thank you,
your royal lordship!
That isn't it at all.
You don't get it, Stan!
I can play here all I want.
I even get free Frescas.
I don't need you anymore!
I know. I need you.
I thought I was having
a great time because
I was getting signed
by managers and...
going to big sex and coke parties,
but then I realized...
I was having fun because I was doing
all that with my best friend.
It was pretty fun,
wasn't it?
Yeah.
Look, I doubt we could break
a million together anyway.
I don't care.
I'd just like to play with you again.
For the fun of it.
I don't really see
the fun in
not trying to kick
that game's ass once and for all!
- What, you mean it?
- I think we can do it, Stan.
I've been close to a million
a few times by myself.
Then let's go, dude!
Oh wait. Wait,
I'm supposed to play here.
Hey, Mick, would you mind
if I stepped out for a sec?
Go on, get out of here, kid.
Who needs your wailing and
rocking around here anyways?
Thanks, Mick!
All right, dude,
let's do this.
What the hell?
Come on, come on.
You almost got me.
Catch me. Come on.
- Goddamnit! Dad, get off our X-Box!
- Hang on, I almost caught the dragon.
Hehe, you almost
caught me.
No, me and Kyle
are gonna play Guitar Hero!
I can get him! Wait!
Where's he going now?
You don't ever catch
the dragon, Dad!
No! No, I said!
I am your father! Put it back on!
Mom, will you get Dad
out of here?
- Stop cheating, Craig!
- How was that cheating?
Because you tricked me,
you black asshole!
Fellas! Fellas!
- They're gonna do it!
- What?
Stan and Kyle!
They're about to break a million on
Guitar Hero and unlock superstardom!
Oh, let's go!
Come on, let's go!
They're gonna do it!
- They did it!
- Oh my sweet J-Jesus!
You have played Guitar Hero enough
to reach one million points!
Congratulations!
You.
Are.
Fags.
That's it?
Goddammit!
Goddammit!
Butters,
you wanna play me next?
Okay, but I get to be
the one that betrays you
after the sex and drugs party.