Newhart (1982–1990): Season 6, Episode 4 - Me and My Gayle - full transcript

Honey, don't get rid
of comfortable clothes

just because they're old.

Dick, clothes are not like wine.

They are not meant to be

stashed in the corner
of a dark closet for years.

They... they were
there for... For a reason.

Oh? Let's hear it.

Because I... I knew
if you found them,

this would happen.

Here it is!

My old high school yearbook.



The Agrarian.

I haven't looked
through this for ages.

Don't let Joanna
see it. She's on a roll.

There we are, the class of '47.

Can you pick me out?

Well, it's a...
It's a wild guess,

but I'd... I'd say the...
the kid with the plaid shirt

and the overalls?

Yeah. I was wearing them
before they even became popular.

George, I'll bet you
can't wait for your reunion

tomorrow night.

Yeah, it'll be good
seeing everybody again,

especially the gang
from the welding club.

"George, may... may
you always go through life



with the torch in your hand
and the sparks off your pants.

Frank."

"To George, thanks for
lubing my locker. Chet."

I wasn't voted Most Likely
To Be Handyman for nothing.

I c... I can't... I
can't read this one.

What... what does it say?

Nothing.

Tank Bowman liked to use
my yearbook as a pen starter.

Oh, now, she's pretty.

Gayle Crowley.

What did she write?

Oh, uh...

it's... it's nothing.

Come on.

Well, uh,

"George, have a great summer.

Gayle."

You're right, it is nothing.

Well, I better go to my
room and try to learn how

to recognize some
of these people bald.

Hey, cardigan guy, pullover gal.

Seen my cashmere cutie?

Oh, Michael, you're here!

My favorite fashion
magazine came today,

and it's awful!

The winter look's been
unveiled, and it's all wrong!

Oh, my God!

It's like all of fashion has
suddenly turned against me.

What were those
French guys thinking?

This is the worst thing
that's ever happened!

Stephanie, there are a
lot of things in the world

worse than that.

What?

Oh, I don't know. Floods...

Famines.

Fires.

Where? I didn't read
anything about that,

and I get this every month.

Come on, my pretty
in pink cheeks gal,

we'll take this page by page.

There must be
something we can salvage

from this fashion freeze.

Maybe you're right, Michael.
After all, we survived khaki.

Dammit, haven't
they suffered enough?

Joanna, are you, uh...

Are you doing
anything important?

I'm reading.

Oh, good.

Joanna, this new winter look
has thrown Steph for a loop.

I mean, for the
first time in her life,

she's uncertain of how
she looks in an outfit.

I told her she looks
great, but she thinks

I'm just saying that,
which I sort of am.

What do you want
from me, Michael?

She's ready, Steph!

All we want is
your honest opinion.

Should Steph wear this outfit

or is it catching the
next train to Ragsville?

Well?

Stephanie, you look nice.

Joanna, I've never
been the issue.

The clothes! The clothes!

They look, um, different.
But... but in a nice way.

Stephanie, not everybody is
as fashion-conscious as you are.

I mean, there's a good chance

that people won't even
notice what you're wearing.

I'll just go read in my room.

Oh, Michael, Joanna
doesn't even like it,

and, you know,
she'll wear anything.

Michael, what are we gonna do?

I can't wear the
new winter fashions

because they look ugly,

but if I don't wear them,

everybody who
sees these magazines

will know that I'm out of style.

Don't worry, Steph.

I'll... I'll think of something.

Many animals hibernate
during the winter.

Something else.

Oh, hi, George.

Hi, Dick.

Boy, there's
nothing more exciting

than a trip to
the dry cleaner's.

You... you won't get
any argument from me.

George, there you are.

Well, Jim, should we tell him?

I guess so.

The suspense is
probably killing him.

Tell me what?

See?

I bumped into Anne Davies today,

and she told me
that Gayle Crowley

was back in town
for the reunion.

First time in 40 years.

Gayle's in town?

George had a secret crush
on Gayle in high school.

Jim, how did you know?

Chester was the only living
soul I've ever told about Gayle.

Well, back then, Chester
and I did a lot together.

We were inseparable.

Who'd... who'd have guessed?

Whenever George got near Gayle,

he acted as awkward
as a schoolboy.

He... he was a schoolboy.

Come on, Chester.

Let's go practice our duet of

"George and Gayle
sitting in a tree..."

"K... I... S...
S... I... N... G."

You guys.

Gayle Crowley.

Isn't she the one that wrote

that sweet nothing
in your yearbook?

Yeah.

Sometimes I thought
about her so much,

it was hard to keep
my mind on my work.

Once I stripped a hinge
screw thinking about her.

Well, then... then it
wasn't just puppy love.

And the worst part is,

I never told Gayle how I felt.

I almost did graduation day.

I'd just started to
talk to her when...

Les Darby cut in front of me.

Next thing you
know, they're married.

Dick, she was ready!

I promised myself if I
ever saw Gayle again,

I'd tell her exactly how I felt.

Of course, that promise
was a lot easier to keep

when I thought I'd
never see her again.

George, you... you gotta
go to the reunion and...

And tell her you liked
her, otherwise you'll...

You'll never be
able to look yourself

in the mirror again.

Gee, go tell Gayle how I felt,

or cut myself shaving
every morning.

Okay, I'll do it, Dick,
but you gotta go with me.

What... uh, why?

I can't do this alone.

Look how I botched
it up last time.

G... George, I can't go to
your high school reunion.

I, uh... I... I don't even
know your school song.

Come on, Dick, you're my friend.

I need your support.

Besides, when Gayle sees
me, I don't want her to think

I didn't have anybody
to bring to this.

George, I... I'd
feel out of place.

Okay, Dick, I understand.

I guess I'll go filet
my face for the party.

Okay, okay, George,
I'll... I'll go, but...

I want a corsage.

Boy, look at the old gym.

It sure takes you back.

Right over there is
where I jammed my finger

playing medicine ball.

And right there is where

Duke Powell yanked my
shorts below my knees.

Well, those were
the good old days.

Look, there's Duke now.

George Utley.

Clara Whitscomber!

Here. Put on your nametag.

Isn't it a terrific turnout?

It's so good to see
all our wonderful

and dear friends again.

Who are you?

I'm... I'm... I'm
Dick... Dick Loudon.

There's no Loudon in our class.

I'm... I'm... I'm not a member
of your... of your class.

And you want to
crash our reunion?

George... George invited me.

Well, okay. But don't try to
sneak into the class picture.

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

So, George, are you
finally going to tell Gayle

about your crush?

How did you find
out? It was a secret.

Oh, that's right.

Chester told me to eat
that note after I read it.

If it isn't George Utley.

Oh! Hi, hi. Oh!

George!

Hey, George, is
your watch runnin'?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, you better
go and catch it.

You guys.

Oh, George, you finally
gonna fess up to Gayle?

You knew?

Who didn't?

Come on, guys,
let's hit the eats.

I hear they're serving
that good turkey.

George!

Fergie!

Oh, George!

Oh!

Oh, good to see you!

Oh, hardly seems like
40 years since high school.

40 years.

Look at you in that sports coat.

We want you to
look nice for Gayle.

You too?

Dick, what are you doing here?

Looks like he's
crashing the party.

I'm not crashing.

Chester, when I
told you about Gayle,

it was supposed to be a secret.

I'm sorry, George, but I
guess when I was young,

I had some trouble
keeping things to myself.

Yeah, he was a blabbermouth.

I was standing right next to him
when he told the entire school.

Oh, no. Then, Gayle knew?

Don't be silly.
Nobody'd tell her.

It was a secret.

Dick, there she is. It's Gayle.

Look at her.

She looks 18-years-old,
doesn't she, Dick?

Sort... uh, sort... sort of.

Well, George, did you
hear? Gayle's single again.

She is?

Anne Davies just told me.

Les passed away
about 10 years ago.

Oh.

Well, Dick, seems we
have an extra nametag.

You wanna wear it?

Uh, no. No.

Still into the thrill
of crashing, huh?

Well, I gotta make the rounds.

As class president,
one of my responsibilities

is to see that no one
smokes in the boy's room.

Dick, maybe telling
Gayle I like her

isn't such a good idea.

I mean, she's widowed.

I don't wanna look
like I'm on the prowl.

George, she came here to
see old school chums and...

And you qualify.

Go... go over and talk to her.

That's it, Dick?

That's the support I get?

Better, Dick.

So help me, if
she marries him...

George, what hap...
What happened?

Dick, it was horrible.

This guy was even
faster than Les.

I used to lie in bed and
imagine what I'd say to Gayle.

Gayle, the three greatest
things in the world are

a sunrise,

the smell of a new toolbox,

and a pretty girl.

Gee, Dick, it's a lot
easier saying it to you.

Yeah, but, uh, you
know, I'm... I'm married.

George Utley.

Gayle.

Oh, I knew you'd be here.

Oh, it's just so
good to see you.

Oh!

Gayle!

You wanna shoot some hoops?

Oh, George, really, no.

I didn't come here
to work up a sweat.

Gee, Gayle, you
haven't changed a bit.

Yeah, I don't know
which I like better,

your eyesight or your lying.

No, I really mean it.

Gayle... I never
told you this, but...

in high school,

I liked you.

There. I said it.

George, I'm sorry.

My hearing aid keeps
blinking out now and then.

What was that again?

Uh, I said, uh, back in school,

I liked you.

Really? Oh, I liked you too.

What?

I thought you were the
cutest guy in the welding club.

Yeah, well, I guess we
did look pretty irresistible

with our visors down.

You really liked me?

Yep.

Wow!

I'll see ya.

Dick, guess what? I did
it! I told her I liked her!

That's terrific.
Then... Then what?

Then she said she liked me!

That's great, George! Then what?

Then I came over here.

Why?

I'm so happy, I had
to tell somebody.

George, it... it... it
doesn't have to end here.

Okay, Dick.

You wanna go out and celebrate?

No, I mean go...
go back to Gayle

and tell her you're
nuts about her

and... and ask her out.

On a date?

Don't think of it as a
date, uh, think of it as...

As getting together with
a... An old school chum.

Gee, Dick, a date
sounds like more fun.

Then, ask her out on a date!

You're right, Dick.

Okay, everybody,

let's all line up for
the class picture.

Well, I want... I...

Where do you wanna sit?

Not you, Dick!

So, uh... So, Gayle,
I was thinking, uh,

maybe we could go
out tomorrow night

and start what we should've
started 40 years ago.

Oh, George, I'm sorry.

If you had only
asked me back then,

I would've said yes,

but, well, I think now
it's just too late for me

to start anything.

I'm sorry.

Smile!

Enjoying the fire, Steph?

Oh yes, and to think we
almost let some silly magazines

ruin the entire season.

We're just lucky this town
doesn't know hooey about

this winter's look.

Or ever will, now
that we've bought up

every fashion magazine in town.

All we have to do is
not leave this zip code

until the Spring fashions bloom.

Oh, what a lovely fire.

Excuse me, is that
a fashion magazine?

Yes, I was lucky to find this,
every place in town is sold out.

I'll pay you for that. Michael.

Name your price,
$10, $15, $20... $22.

Oh, it only cost $3.

Sold.

Thank you.

Go ahead, Steph, make
your fashion statement.

Oh, this is so romantic.

But Michael, these
magazines won't last all night.

De-pout those lips.

Let's say we go up to your
room and bring down that

purple piggy dress.

Dollars to donuts,
it's flammable.

Well, thanks for
bringing me home

early from the reunion, Dick.

Oh, and for destroying my life.

What?

You... you're mad at me, George?

Didn't you notice I fastened
my seatbelt extra loud?

Oh. You... you're right, George.

I... I guess that was a...
A real slap in the face.

Well, if you hadn't
made me talk to Gayle,

I never would've found out

that she would've
gone out with me

back in high school.

I lost 40 years, Dick.

40 years I might've
spent with Gayle.

Picnics, movies, maybe...

a couple of walks
around the lake.

George, you... You
can't live in the past.

You... you have to
live for... For today.

What... what...
What's done is done.

Any more clichés, Dick?

I... I... I'm just
saying, George,

you... you... you
can't go back and...

And live your life
over un... Unless you...

You build a time machine,

and I... I don't think you can.

And I call myself a handyman.

Oh, I guess you're right,
Dick. I'm not really mad at you.

George, that, uh...

That seatbelt
thing is forgotten.

Dick, she said she didn't
wanna start anything.

She said it was too late.

See, that's your
problem, George.

You're... you're...
You're too accepting.

Oh, you're right.

There! That's exactly
what I'm talking about.

Oh, you're right. Uh, oops.

George, 40 years ago,

you sat back and...
and... And let someone

you really cared for
walk out of your life.

George, don't let that
happen again tonight.

You are right, Dick.

I'm going back there,

and I'm gonna get
Gayle to go out with me,

and I'm not gonna let
anything get in my way!

That's the spirit!

George, let me move my car!

- Chester?
- Mm-hm?

Have you seen Gayle?

Yes, she and some of
the other girls are busy

trying to divvy up
the leftover punch.

There seems to be an
uneven amount of citrus.

So, George, you
finally, uh, saw Gayle

and told her you'd like
to start something, eh?

How did you know?

Sorry, George.

That wasn't a secret, was it?

Not around here.

Oh, George, I'm so
glad you came back.

I was afraid we wouldn't
get a chance to say good-bye.

Well, I'm back, but
not to say good-bye.

Gayle, I saw you tonight

and started
feeling funny inside.

I tried to blame it
on the turkey roll,

but it was you.

How 'bout we
grab a cup of coffee

at the Tree Tap Diner?

Oh, George, I'm sorry.

I'd like to, I really would,

but I have to catch
the early bus tomorrow.

She says she's sorry,
but she has to catch

the early bus tomorrow.

Gayle, give me one good reason

why we can't start
seeing each other.

I live in Schenectady.

I know how to drive.

Fine, but I have grandkids,

and I've got a big old
house to take care of.

I love grandkids,
and I can fix anything

in a big old house.

Wriggle out of that one.

Oh, George, I guess I'm
just too stuck in my ways.

Well, I am too.

I won't have breakfast

till I go out and
smell the morning air.

And I'll weed the garden
whether it needs it or not.

And when it comes to pudding,

none of that
instant stuff for me.

I want cooked pudding
with the real skin on top.

So you see, I'm
stuck in my ways too.

Mm.

I have a good life here,

and when I saw you tonight,
I knew it could be better.

George.

Movement on Gayle's part.

Are you sure we can't
grab that coffee at the diner?

Oh, it's late.

Yeah, but it's not too late.

Well, maybe there is
time for a... a cup of coffee

with an old friend.

Major movement on Gayle's part.

Oh, great!

What comes next is private.

Meow.