Newhart (1982–1990): Season 5, Episode 8 - Thanksgiving for the Memories - full transcript
The Vanderkellens lose Stephanie's favorite childhood toy and try to replace it with a lookalike.
Honey, my carving knives
came just in time for Thanksgiving.
G... uh, George, you
should come and see these.
I've seen knives, Dick.
Not... not like these, George.
Next to this beauty,
Excalibur is a butter knife.
Honey, I'm glad you
always get so excited
about Thanksgiving.
It's a little weird,
but I'm glad.
Joanna, it's only the
best holiday of the year.
As soon as you... you
wake up, there's a...
There's a major parade
featuring the best in
cartoon balloons, which...
And just in time for my favorite
football game of the year.
Then all eyes are riveted on me
as I slice into a succulent
18-pounder with these beauties.
You're in a good mood
right now, aren't you, Dick?
Yeah, you know, um,
underneath it all, George.
Try to hold onto that
feeling, 'cause I got bad news.
What... what's that, George?
The electrical wiring in
this place is for the birds.
The whole inn should
be done over soon.
How... how soon?
Before there's a big fire.
That soon.
And you're going to need
professional electricians
to do it.
Can't you do it, George?
Yeah, but it would take a year.
Of course, the fire
will probably put me
even further behind.
Well, then, you'll
have to get someone.
Hi. I'm Larry.
This is my brother Darryl, and
this is my other brother Darryl.
Hi, guys.
Ooh, new sharp cutlery.
Darryl, this is the
perfect opportunity for you
to show these folks your
fledgling juggling skills.
May... maybe another time, guys.
What, uh... what...
what can we do for you?
Well, we feel that
over the last year,
we've grown close
enough to you folks
to invite you to partake in
one of our most intimate rituals.
What's... what's that, guys?
We'd like you to join
us for Thanksgiving.
You celebrate Thanksgiving.
Who better to give thanks than
three brothers who have it all?
So will you join us?
It sounds... sounds yummy,
but we... we've already...
Already made our
Thanksgiving Day plans.
Darn it.
Oh, well, how about firming
up the date for next year?
Darn it again.
Just got off the phone
set... Setting that one up.
Oh. Well, we'd
commit to the next year,
but I'm not sure if we're free.
Come on, Darryl.
Let's go home and check
our decade-at-a-glance.
Don't worry, Dick.
The first estimate on
this sort of electrical work
is usually kind of high,
but I know a couple of tricks
to get the price way down low.
Well, we've been
through the whole place.
Here's our estimate.
Wow. I thought it'd
be a lot more than this.
Jump on it, Dick!
This can't be your best price.
I don't see how it
could be any lower.
I... I guess we'll
have to take it.
We can start work
right away, but...
uh, you're gonna be without
electricity for a few days.
That means no heat and no light.
There's... there's no
way you can work with...
With the electricity on?
Are you trying to
fry one of my guys?
No. We'll... we'll make do.
I'll write up the work order.
Great news, everyone!
My parents have
invited all of us
to their house for Thanksgiving.
Oh, that's... that's very
thoughtful, Stephanie,
but traditionally, we... we
stay home for Thanksgiving.
Honey, we can break
our tradition this year.
No. No, we can't. We... we...
we have too much fun, uh,
having Thanksgiving here.
You have too much fun.
I have to cook all day
and clean up all night.
I... I help clean up.
No, you don't.
You always stuff yourself
until you can hardly walk,
then you groan about how bloated
you are and go up to bed early.
Yeah, but when
I'm going, I always,
you know, take a couple
plates into the kitchen.
Dick, come on. We should go.
And while we're gone, the
electrical work can be done.
I mean, no electrician
is gonna work on Thanksgiving.
Sure we will.
Wow, these guys
are unbelievable!
Honey, I... I
don't think it's fair
that only you and I
make the decision.
I mean, George... George
loves our Thanksgivings here.
He... he may not wanna
go. R... right, George?
Are you crazy? I love
that giant mansion.
Picking up on the mood
of the room yet, Dick?
O... okay, we'll go. But
I'm bringing my knives.
Hi, all.
Is everybody ready
to gobble gobble
a Thanksgiving meal at
Casa de Vanderkellen?
Here's a special
Thanksgiving gift
for a person I'm
particularly thankful for.
A stuffed turkey! Get it?
Oh, Michael. He's so cute.
I'm gonna call him Terry Turkey
because Tom is such a cliché.
And I'll bring him home with
me to meet my Petey Rabbit.
Who's Petey Rabbit?
He's my favorite cuddle
bunny. We grew up together.
We'd still be together,
but I couldn't bear to
have him see me as a maid.
Well, Steph, as much as
you love that rabbit, I bet
that after a few minutes
cuddling this clucker,
that bunny's beat.
I don't know, Michael.
Petey's pretty special.
But I'm sure he'll love Terry.
Well, cupcake, don't worry.
Even if he doesn't,
that's just present uno
for the 12 days of Thanksgiving.
I thought it was the
12 days of Christmas.
No, it's the 25
days of Christmas.
Hi, Dick.
You just missed a
knockout game of tennis
in the Vanderkellen dome.
I slaughtered your señorita.
Stephanie was the judge.
That way I get to
sit above everybody.
Dick, are you
gonna have some fun
or are you just
gonna keep pouting?
I'm a grown man. I do not pout.
Then, why are you just
sitting around moping
in this lovely mansion?
Because I want Thanksgiving
at my house with my turkey
and my knives.
Dick's being a baby.
Come on, Steph.
Let's go upstairs to the theatre
and watch Captain Eo again.
You know, it's very rude
of you to act this way
around the Vanderkellens.
Act what way?
I'm reading a book.
They don't know
anything's wrong.
Still sitting there
pouting, are we?
I'm not pouting. I'm
having a wonderful time.
I know him, Art,
and he's pouting.
You can't just
sit there like this.
I spend millions to make
this house a fun place to be.
You almost make
being rich seem stupid.
It's not stupid.
Believe me, I'm...
I'm having a great
time right here.
Is he still pouting?
No.
I don't know one single
person who's been able to resist
all this house has to offer.
How about a swim
in the heated pool?
Your choice: salt or fresh.
I'm fine, really.
Then, how about a zoom on
a jetpack around the house?
Buck Loudon!
No, thanks. I'm really fine.
I know. How about
a nice round of golf?
Don't you think it's
a little cold outside?
Who said anything
about going outside?
Now, that... that
might be interesting.
I knew it. House:
1, Pouter: nothing!
Thanksgiving is one of
Arthur's favorite holidays, too.
It certainly is. It all dates
back to colonial days
when my ancestors broke
bread with the Indians
and then made some of the
most lopsided land deals in history.
Those were the days.
Oh, there you are.
You've gotta see this
incredible football game.
It's only halftime, and
the score is tied 31 to 31.
Oh, honey, you're back to
your old Thanksgiving self.
Honey, even you would
enjoy a football game
on a screen that big.
You... you can actually
lip-read the players cursing.
I mean, this... this may be
my... My best Thanksgiving ever.
The... the game
couldn't be more exciting,
they're... they're preparing
a 25-pound turkey and,
uh, Arthur's even gonna
let me use my knives.
He pouted me into it.
Halftime's almost over, guys.
It's still 31-31,
and they're predicting an
even closer second half.
Mommy, have you
seen Petey Rabbit?
I think it's time he met his
new friend, Terry Turkey.
"Hyuk, I can't wait. Hyuk hyuk."
Michael, he doesn't
sound like that.
Petey the Rabbit. I haven't
thought about that toy in years.
Arthur, do you remember
where we put it?
Oh, we gave it away, didn't we?
You what?
Yes, to charity. We gave
away a lot of your old things.
Why don't you just give
away Grandma? She's old.
Now, take it easy, princess.
If it means that much to you,
we'll go out first thing
tomorrow morning
and buy you a dozen
brand-new Petey Rabbits.
Well, the new synthetics are
much more loveable anyway.
I don't want a new
one! I loved Petey!
Come on, Steph. You...
you still have Terry.
Get that buzzard out of my face!
I know what'll bring that smile
back, princess. A blank check.
All better?
There are some things
that money can't replace.
Now, Stephanie, you realize
I don't allow that kind of talk
in this house.
Fine. Then, we'll leave.
Dick, get the car.
What?
Stephanie, please.
It's Thanksgiving.
I will not stay in a house
where people obviously
don't care about my
feelings. Or Petey's.
Uh... uh, Stephanie, wait.
I mean, think... think carefully
about... about what you're doing
until at least after the game,
and I carve that big juicy bird.
Be... beside, I'm sure
that... That Petey would...
Would feel that...
That you're... that
you're overreacting.
I am not!
And... and... and I'm sure
your... Your father realizes,
uh, where he was wrong.
I am never wrong. Come, Marian.
Oh, Arthur!
Come on, Michael. Let's pack!
But... but, Steph.
Terry thinks that we...
Oh, shut up! You don't even
know what he sounds like!
Oh, my God. It's
freezing in here.
Yeah, the electricians
were working today,
so there's no
electricity and no heat.
Oh.
Unless they finished.
Seem any brighter to you, Dick?
George, get the kerosene lamps.
Maybe we should
just stay at a hotel.
I'm not having Thanksgiving
dinner in a tiny hotel room.
It's... it's bad enough I missed
the football game
of the century.
Well, at least you got to
hear it on the way home.
Yeah, it's the only time in
history a radio announcer said
he couldn't do
justice to the game
and begged people
to find the nearest TV.
I'm glad you're all so worried
about your petty problems.
I suffered the loss of
a stuffed animal here.
Yeah.
How could they do that?
How could they not know
how much Petey meant to me?
And who knows what
else they gave away!
Maybe I had a couple of sisters.
Look, I... I...
I think we're just suffering
the holiday blahs here.
But, uh... but let's...
let's make the best of it.
We can, uh... We can build
a fire and... and cook up a...
A nice, uh, a nice holiday
feast in... in... in the dining room.
Well, I don't think
we have much.
We weren't planning to be
home, so I didn't go shopping.
Uh, the electrician's made a
mess in the dining room, Dick.
Oh, it... it's all right, George.
We'll eat here in the lobby.
It... it'll be like a... a
Thanksgiving picnic.
In hell.
Can't we go to a restaurant?
They're all booked solid.
Let's... Let's try
to think positive.
It... it... it can't
be that bad.
All we have is Velveeta
and mayonnaise.
Yum.
Just trying to be positive.
Well, that's right, everybody.
After all, Thanksgiving
isn't about what you eat.
It's... it's being
thankful for all you have.
Now, who wants
a piece of cheese?
Wait, wait, wait. I
wanna use my knives.
I'd like a piece of
dark cheese, please.
Okay, now, who'd like some
mayonnaise with their cheese?
Yeah. Me... me neither.
I'd like some, Dick. I
really think it'll be good.
Well, I... I guess before we eat,
we should bow our heads and...
And give thanks.
You've got to be kidding.
We better pray fast, Dick.
My cheese is starting
to freeze up here.
Holiday greetings.
Oh, Darryl, it's just them.
We was thinkin' it might
be the Thanksgivin' Elf.
I've never heard of
the Thanksgiving Elf.
Neither did we.
We was hopin' to
be the first to discover
a brand-new holiday character.
Well, as you can see, we
exceed elf height requirements.
I suppose.
But who knows what power
of disguise they may have.
We're not elves, okay?
Well, what are you doin' home?
Our plans didn't work out.
But we're... we're making do.
I see. Mm, Velveeta.
Interesting choice.
But I just wanna say,
our invitation to have
Thanksgivin' dinner with us
is still open.
And we do offer
the added incentive
of heat, light and a
decent eating surface.
That's good enough for
me. Come on, Michael.
You w... you wanna go?
Dick. Heat and light.
Yeah, Dick. This doesn't taste
as good as I thought it would.
Okay, we'll go.
Whoo-wee! Come on, Darryl.
Company for Thanksgivin' dinner!
Okay, prepare your pie holes
for some taste-bud titillation.
Darryl's been slavin'
in the kitchen all day
whippin' up some of the finest
eatin' since Groundhog Day.
Groundhog Day?
You know, that day
near the end of winter.
When the cute little groundhog
sticks his head out of the hole,
sees Darryl's shadow,
and we eat him.
It's tradition.
What... what... what's
your Thanksgiving tradition?
Turkey, of course.
Of course.
You... you mean the animal
that goes "gobble
gobble", right?
Right. You should
get around more.
We took the liberty of arrangin'
the seatin'. Boy, girl, Darryl.
I... I was... I was
gonna suggest that.
Steph, are you sure you're
gonna be able to eat here?
I'm so depressed about Petey,
I don't care about
anything anymore.
Except my appearance, of course.
Now I know your innards
are gonna do backflips
over the turkey,
but wait'll you taste
Darryl's tempting side dishes.
What kind of side dishes?
You know, yams,
stuffing, cranberry sauce.
Oh.
You folks don't
know a can of beans
about Thanksgiving, do you?
Hi, Larry. Do you know
where my daught...?
Oh, there you are.
Mommy! Daddy!
I don't know what
you're doing here,
but I really don't
wanna see you.
You may not wanna see us,
but would you like
to see this little fella?
Petey Rabbit!
Michael, this is
my Petey Rabbit!
Wow, Steph, he's... he's all
you said he was, and more.
We contacted the
charity we gave him to,
and, fortunately, they hadn't
found a home for him yet.
Oh, thank you, Daddy! Mommy!
It was worth missing the big
game to see this, huh, Dick?
Oh, it's so good to see
my Petey Rabbit again.
When I was five years old,
I drew a little heart on
the bottom of his foot.
Where is it?
This isn't the real Petey.
This is an impostor rabbit.
I told you she
wouldn't fall for it.
But, princess, doesn't the fact
that I tried to fool you
count for something?
Stephanie, your father
went to a lot of trouble
to get you that toy.
Oh, Mother, a
Vanderkellen forced to shop
is hardly an agony.
The stores didn't
have anything like it.
Your father had to
open one of his factories
and have them make a
replica from old photographs.
Really?
Open on a holiday,
that's triple overtime.
You ruined hundreds of people's
Thanksgivings just to save mine?
Oh, Daddy, you are sensitive.
I'm just sorry you
didn't like the duplicate.
It cost me 10,000
dollars to manufacture.
It did?
Wally!
That's my daughter.
Now, listen, Loudons.
You're all invited
back to our house
for a late Thanksgiving dinner.
We can 'copter to
Newport in an hour.
It's... it's a... a tough
choice, but we...
We did make a commitment
to the Vanderkellens first.
We understand. We'll just
keep changin' seats like usual,
to make our tiny
family seem bigger.
Actually, Daddy, we did
accept Larry's invitation.
I think we should stay.
Why did she have to
pick now to be nice?
Well, if you won't come
with us, can we join you?
Are you kiddin'? The more
elbows bumpin' the merrier.
Arthur!
Oh, come on, Marian.
We haven't been in a
dive like this for ages.
Look, swivel chairs. Whee!
That's the
Thanksgiving spirit, Art.
Okay, Darryl. Bring on the eats.
Now that the food is here,
I think that the head
of each household
should say a prayer of thanks.
I'll start.
Lord, before we chow down,
thank You for the
many critters in our pot
and all our nice,
although off-beat, friends.
Take it, Art.
We thank You for
keeping our family together
and for not letting Congress
go too nuts on tax reform.
We... we thank You for the...
the abundance in our lives
and for the food
we're about to eat.
Please protect us.
All right, I've been
waiting a long time for this.
Excuse me,
but I don't think this is the
appropriate time to juggle.
I'm... I'm sorry.
Well, go ahead.
Stuff your faces.
I... I... I think, uh,
maybe the head of each
household should, uh...
Should take the first bite.
It's good.
Prayers... Prayers are answered.
This stuffing's
particularly delicious.
It is, yes.
Unusual.
You flatter Darryl.
Gettin' a hold of the secret
ingredient was quite a coup,
bein' this far from
Groundhog Day and all.
Oh, come on, you
Thanksgiving poopers.
Good is good.
Meow.
came just in time for Thanksgiving.
G... uh, George, you
should come and see these.
I've seen knives, Dick.
Not... not like these, George.
Next to this beauty,
Excalibur is a butter knife.
Honey, I'm glad you
always get so excited
about Thanksgiving.
It's a little weird,
but I'm glad.
Joanna, it's only the
best holiday of the year.
As soon as you... you
wake up, there's a...
There's a major parade
featuring the best in
cartoon balloons, which...
And just in time for my favorite
football game of the year.
Then all eyes are riveted on me
as I slice into a succulent
18-pounder with these beauties.
You're in a good mood
right now, aren't you, Dick?
Yeah, you know, um,
underneath it all, George.
Try to hold onto that
feeling, 'cause I got bad news.
What... what's that, George?
The electrical wiring in
this place is for the birds.
The whole inn should
be done over soon.
How... how soon?
Before there's a big fire.
That soon.
And you're going to need
professional electricians
to do it.
Can't you do it, George?
Yeah, but it would take a year.
Of course, the fire
will probably put me
even further behind.
Well, then, you'll
have to get someone.
Hi. I'm Larry.
This is my brother Darryl, and
this is my other brother Darryl.
Hi, guys.
Ooh, new sharp cutlery.
Darryl, this is the
perfect opportunity for you
to show these folks your
fledgling juggling skills.
May... maybe another time, guys.
What, uh... what...
what can we do for you?
Well, we feel that
over the last year,
we've grown close
enough to you folks
to invite you to partake in
one of our most intimate rituals.
What's... what's that, guys?
We'd like you to join
us for Thanksgiving.
You celebrate Thanksgiving.
Who better to give thanks than
three brothers who have it all?
So will you join us?
It sounds... sounds yummy,
but we... we've already...
Already made our
Thanksgiving Day plans.
Darn it.
Oh, well, how about firming
up the date for next year?
Darn it again.
Just got off the phone
set... Setting that one up.
Oh. Well, we'd
commit to the next year,
but I'm not sure if we're free.
Come on, Darryl.
Let's go home and check
our decade-at-a-glance.
Don't worry, Dick.
The first estimate on
this sort of electrical work
is usually kind of high,
but I know a couple of tricks
to get the price way down low.
Well, we've been
through the whole place.
Here's our estimate.
Wow. I thought it'd
be a lot more than this.
Jump on it, Dick!
This can't be your best price.
I don't see how it
could be any lower.
I... I guess we'll
have to take it.
We can start work
right away, but...
uh, you're gonna be without
electricity for a few days.
That means no heat and no light.
There's... there's no
way you can work with...
With the electricity on?
Are you trying to
fry one of my guys?
No. We'll... we'll make do.
I'll write up the work order.
Great news, everyone!
My parents have
invited all of us
to their house for Thanksgiving.
Oh, that's... that's very
thoughtful, Stephanie,
but traditionally, we... we
stay home for Thanksgiving.
Honey, we can break
our tradition this year.
No. No, we can't. We... we...
we have too much fun, uh,
having Thanksgiving here.
You have too much fun.
I have to cook all day
and clean up all night.
I... I help clean up.
No, you don't.
You always stuff yourself
until you can hardly walk,
then you groan about how bloated
you are and go up to bed early.
Yeah, but when
I'm going, I always,
you know, take a couple
plates into the kitchen.
Dick, come on. We should go.
And while we're gone, the
electrical work can be done.
I mean, no electrician
is gonna work on Thanksgiving.
Sure we will.
Wow, these guys
are unbelievable!
Honey, I... I
don't think it's fair
that only you and I
make the decision.
I mean, George... George
loves our Thanksgivings here.
He... he may not wanna
go. R... right, George?
Are you crazy? I love
that giant mansion.
Picking up on the mood
of the room yet, Dick?
O... okay, we'll go. But
I'm bringing my knives.
Hi, all.
Is everybody ready
to gobble gobble
a Thanksgiving meal at
Casa de Vanderkellen?
Here's a special
Thanksgiving gift
for a person I'm
particularly thankful for.
A stuffed turkey! Get it?
Oh, Michael. He's so cute.
I'm gonna call him Terry Turkey
because Tom is such a cliché.
And I'll bring him home with
me to meet my Petey Rabbit.
Who's Petey Rabbit?
He's my favorite cuddle
bunny. We grew up together.
We'd still be together,
but I couldn't bear to
have him see me as a maid.
Well, Steph, as much as
you love that rabbit, I bet
that after a few minutes
cuddling this clucker,
that bunny's beat.
I don't know, Michael.
Petey's pretty special.
But I'm sure he'll love Terry.
Well, cupcake, don't worry.
Even if he doesn't,
that's just present uno
for the 12 days of Thanksgiving.
I thought it was the
12 days of Christmas.
No, it's the 25
days of Christmas.
Hi, Dick.
You just missed a
knockout game of tennis
in the Vanderkellen dome.
I slaughtered your señorita.
Stephanie was the judge.
That way I get to
sit above everybody.
Dick, are you
gonna have some fun
or are you just
gonna keep pouting?
I'm a grown man. I do not pout.
Then, why are you just
sitting around moping
in this lovely mansion?
Because I want Thanksgiving
at my house with my turkey
and my knives.
Dick's being a baby.
Come on, Steph.
Let's go upstairs to the theatre
and watch Captain Eo again.
You know, it's very rude
of you to act this way
around the Vanderkellens.
Act what way?
I'm reading a book.
They don't know
anything's wrong.
Still sitting there
pouting, are we?
I'm not pouting. I'm
having a wonderful time.
I know him, Art,
and he's pouting.
You can't just
sit there like this.
I spend millions to make
this house a fun place to be.
You almost make
being rich seem stupid.
It's not stupid.
Believe me, I'm...
I'm having a great
time right here.
Is he still pouting?
No.
I don't know one single
person who's been able to resist
all this house has to offer.
How about a swim
in the heated pool?
Your choice: salt or fresh.
I'm fine, really.
Then, how about a zoom on
a jetpack around the house?
Buck Loudon!
No, thanks. I'm really fine.
I know. How about
a nice round of golf?
Don't you think it's
a little cold outside?
Who said anything
about going outside?
Now, that... that
might be interesting.
I knew it. House:
1, Pouter: nothing!
Thanksgiving is one of
Arthur's favorite holidays, too.
It certainly is. It all dates
back to colonial days
when my ancestors broke
bread with the Indians
and then made some of the
most lopsided land deals in history.
Those were the days.
Oh, there you are.
You've gotta see this
incredible football game.
It's only halftime, and
the score is tied 31 to 31.
Oh, honey, you're back to
your old Thanksgiving self.
Honey, even you would
enjoy a football game
on a screen that big.
You... you can actually
lip-read the players cursing.
I mean, this... this may be
my... My best Thanksgiving ever.
The... the game
couldn't be more exciting,
they're... they're preparing
a 25-pound turkey and,
uh, Arthur's even gonna
let me use my knives.
He pouted me into it.
Halftime's almost over, guys.
It's still 31-31,
and they're predicting an
even closer second half.
Mommy, have you
seen Petey Rabbit?
I think it's time he met his
new friend, Terry Turkey.
"Hyuk, I can't wait. Hyuk hyuk."
Michael, he doesn't
sound like that.
Petey the Rabbit. I haven't
thought about that toy in years.
Arthur, do you remember
where we put it?
Oh, we gave it away, didn't we?
You what?
Yes, to charity. We gave
away a lot of your old things.
Why don't you just give
away Grandma? She's old.
Now, take it easy, princess.
If it means that much to you,
we'll go out first thing
tomorrow morning
and buy you a dozen
brand-new Petey Rabbits.
Well, the new synthetics are
much more loveable anyway.
I don't want a new
one! I loved Petey!
Come on, Steph. You...
you still have Terry.
Get that buzzard out of my face!
I know what'll bring that smile
back, princess. A blank check.
All better?
There are some things
that money can't replace.
Now, Stephanie, you realize
I don't allow that kind of talk
in this house.
Fine. Then, we'll leave.
Dick, get the car.
What?
Stephanie, please.
It's Thanksgiving.
I will not stay in a house
where people obviously
don't care about my
feelings. Or Petey's.
Uh... uh, Stephanie, wait.
I mean, think... think carefully
about... about what you're doing
until at least after the game,
and I carve that big juicy bird.
Be... beside, I'm sure
that... That Petey would...
Would feel that...
That you're... that
you're overreacting.
I am not!
And... and... and I'm sure
your... Your father realizes,
uh, where he was wrong.
I am never wrong. Come, Marian.
Oh, Arthur!
Come on, Michael. Let's pack!
But... but, Steph.
Terry thinks that we...
Oh, shut up! You don't even
know what he sounds like!
Oh, my God. It's
freezing in here.
Yeah, the electricians
were working today,
so there's no
electricity and no heat.
Oh.
Unless they finished.
Seem any brighter to you, Dick?
George, get the kerosene lamps.
Maybe we should
just stay at a hotel.
I'm not having Thanksgiving
dinner in a tiny hotel room.
It's... it's bad enough I missed
the football game
of the century.
Well, at least you got to
hear it on the way home.
Yeah, it's the only time in
history a radio announcer said
he couldn't do
justice to the game
and begged people
to find the nearest TV.
I'm glad you're all so worried
about your petty problems.
I suffered the loss of
a stuffed animal here.
Yeah.
How could they do that?
How could they not know
how much Petey meant to me?
And who knows what
else they gave away!
Maybe I had a couple of sisters.
Look, I... I...
I think we're just suffering
the holiday blahs here.
But, uh... but let's...
let's make the best of it.
We can, uh... We can build
a fire and... and cook up a...
A nice, uh, a nice holiday
feast in... in... in the dining room.
Well, I don't think
we have much.
We weren't planning to be
home, so I didn't go shopping.
Uh, the electrician's made a
mess in the dining room, Dick.
Oh, it... it's all right, George.
We'll eat here in the lobby.
It... it'll be like a... a
Thanksgiving picnic.
In hell.
Can't we go to a restaurant?
They're all booked solid.
Let's... Let's try
to think positive.
It... it... it can't
be that bad.
All we have is Velveeta
and mayonnaise.
Yum.
Just trying to be positive.
Well, that's right, everybody.
After all, Thanksgiving
isn't about what you eat.
It's... it's being
thankful for all you have.
Now, who wants
a piece of cheese?
Wait, wait, wait. I
wanna use my knives.
I'd like a piece of
dark cheese, please.
Okay, now, who'd like some
mayonnaise with their cheese?
Yeah. Me... me neither.
I'd like some, Dick. I
really think it'll be good.
Well, I... I guess before we eat,
we should bow our heads and...
And give thanks.
You've got to be kidding.
We better pray fast, Dick.
My cheese is starting
to freeze up here.
Holiday greetings.
Oh, Darryl, it's just them.
We was thinkin' it might
be the Thanksgivin' Elf.
I've never heard of
the Thanksgiving Elf.
Neither did we.
We was hopin' to
be the first to discover
a brand-new holiday character.
Well, as you can see, we
exceed elf height requirements.
I suppose.
But who knows what power
of disguise they may have.
We're not elves, okay?
Well, what are you doin' home?
Our plans didn't work out.
But we're... we're making do.
I see. Mm, Velveeta.
Interesting choice.
But I just wanna say,
our invitation to have
Thanksgivin' dinner with us
is still open.
And we do offer
the added incentive
of heat, light and a
decent eating surface.
That's good enough for
me. Come on, Michael.
You w... you wanna go?
Dick. Heat and light.
Yeah, Dick. This doesn't taste
as good as I thought it would.
Okay, we'll go.
Whoo-wee! Come on, Darryl.
Company for Thanksgivin' dinner!
Okay, prepare your pie holes
for some taste-bud titillation.
Darryl's been slavin'
in the kitchen all day
whippin' up some of the finest
eatin' since Groundhog Day.
Groundhog Day?
You know, that day
near the end of winter.
When the cute little groundhog
sticks his head out of the hole,
sees Darryl's shadow,
and we eat him.
It's tradition.
What... what... what's
your Thanksgiving tradition?
Turkey, of course.
Of course.
You... you mean the animal
that goes "gobble
gobble", right?
Right. You should
get around more.
We took the liberty of arrangin'
the seatin'. Boy, girl, Darryl.
I... I was... I was
gonna suggest that.
Steph, are you sure you're
gonna be able to eat here?
I'm so depressed about Petey,
I don't care about
anything anymore.
Except my appearance, of course.
Now I know your innards
are gonna do backflips
over the turkey,
but wait'll you taste
Darryl's tempting side dishes.
What kind of side dishes?
You know, yams,
stuffing, cranberry sauce.
Oh.
You folks don't
know a can of beans
about Thanksgiving, do you?
Hi, Larry. Do you know
where my daught...?
Oh, there you are.
Mommy! Daddy!
I don't know what
you're doing here,
but I really don't
wanna see you.
You may not wanna see us,
but would you like
to see this little fella?
Petey Rabbit!
Michael, this is
my Petey Rabbit!
Wow, Steph, he's... he's all
you said he was, and more.
We contacted the
charity we gave him to,
and, fortunately, they hadn't
found a home for him yet.
Oh, thank you, Daddy! Mommy!
It was worth missing the big
game to see this, huh, Dick?
Oh, it's so good to see
my Petey Rabbit again.
When I was five years old,
I drew a little heart on
the bottom of his foot.
Where is it?
This isn't the real Petey.
This is an impostor rabbit.
I told you she
wouldn't fall for it.
But, princess, doesn't the fact
that I tried to fool you
count for something?
Stephanie, your father
went to a lot of trouble
to get you that toy.
Oh, Mother, a
Vanderkellen forced to shop
is hardly an agony.
The stores didn't
have anything like it.
Your father had to
open one of his factories
and have them make a
replica from old photographs.
Really?
Open on a holiday,
that's triple overtime.
You ruined hundreds of people's
Thanksgivings just to save mine?
Oh, Daddy, you are sensitive.
I'm just sorry you
didn't like the duplicate.
It cost me 10,000
dollars to manufacture.
It did?
Wally!
That's my daughter.
Now, listen, Loudons.
You're all invited
back to our house
for a late Thanksgiving dinner.
We can 'copter to
Newport in an hour.
It's... it's a... a tough
choice, but we...
We did make a commitment
to the Vanderkellens first.
We understand. We'll just
keep changin' seats like usual,
to make our tiny
family seem bigger.
Actually, Daddy, we did
accept Larry's invitation.
I think we should stay.
Why did she have to
pick now to be nice?
Well, if you won't come
with us, can we join you?
Are you kiddin'? The more
elbows bumpin' the merrier.
Arthur!
Oh, come on, Marian.
We haven't been in a
dive like this for ages.
Look, swivel chairs. Whee!
That's the
Thanksgiving spirit, Art.
Okay, Darryl. Bring on the eats.
Now that the food is here,
I think that the head
of each household
should say a prayer of thanks.
I'll start.
Lord, before we chow down,
thank You for the
many critters in our pot
and all our nice,
although off-beat, friends.
Take it, Art.
We thank You for
keeping our family together
and for not letting Congress
go too nuts on tax reform.
We... we thank You for the...
the abundance in our lives
and for the food
we're about to eat.
Please protect us.
All right, I've been
waiting a long time for this.
Excuse me,
but I don't think this is the
appropriate time to juggle.
I'm... I'm sorry.
Well, go ahead.
Stuff your faces.
I... I... I think, uh,
maybe the head of each
household should, uh...
Should take the first bite.
It's good.
Prayers... Prayers are answered.
This stuffing's
particularly delicious.
It is, yes.
Unusual.
You flatter Darryl.
Gettin' a hold of the secret
ingredient was quite a coup,
bein' this far from
Groundhog Day and all.
Oh, come on, you
Thanksgiving poopers.
Good is good.
Meow.