Newhart (1982–1990): Season 4, Episode 4 - Oh, That Morocco - full transcript
Stef and Michael plan to go to Morocco when Stef and Joanna become best friends. Stef wants her and Dick to go too. Dick was there in the Army and got sick from the food and doesn't want to go, but Joanna talks him into going.
(theme music playing)
- WELL, I JUST LOADED THE
LAST GUESTS INTO THEIR CAR.
THE INN IS NOW OFFICIALLY
CLOSED FOR RENOVATION.
- GREAT, GEORGE, BECAUSE
I HAVE A PROJECT HERE
THAT'S GONNA BE AS
EXCITING TO YOU AS IT IS TO ME.
- UH-OH.
- GEORGE, I WANT YOU TO BUILD
A BOOKCASE HERE ON THE WALL.
IT WILL BE SORT OF A LENDING
LIBRARY FOR THE GUESTS,
FEATURING THE COLLECTIVE
WORKS OF DICK LOUDON,
AMERICA'S MR. HOW TO.
- I'LL GET ON IT AS SOON
AS I BUILD THAT FENCE
WE'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT.
- AND, GEORGE, YOU
MIGHT BE ABLE TO USE THIS.
IT'S A BOOK I WROTE
ON SHELF BUILDING.
- "SHELF HELP" BY DICK LOUDON.
CUTE. DON'T NEED IT.
- GEORGE, WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY IS I WANT YOU TO USE THIS BOOK.
YOU KNOW, BUILDING A
BOOKCASE CAN BE TRICKY.
- RIGHT. WE WOULDN'T
WANT ME TO SLIP
AND ACCIDENTALLY BUILD
A SHIP OR SOMETHING.
- OH, UH, STEPHANIE, I'VE
DECIDED TO CLOSE THE INN
EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED.
- OH, DICK!
NO MORE STUPID
GUESTS TO WAIT ON.
NO MORE STUPID ROOMS TO CLEAN.
NO MORE STUPID
BOSSES TO LISTEN TO.
- WHOA, WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY.
- MICHAEL, DICK
CLOSED THE INN EARLY.
- WELL, LET ME GET IN THERE.
- TAKE MY PLACE.
SO WHERE ARE YOU TWO
GOING ON YOUR VACATION?
OR IS THIS IT?
- ACTUALLY, I'VE LEFT THAT
UP TO CUPCAKE TOURS.
BUT SHE'S HAVING
TROUBLE DECIDING.
- I JUST WANT TO MAKE
SURE I PICK THE COUNTRY
I'LL LOOK BEST IN.
AND I HAVE. MOROCCO.
- MOROCCO?
I WENT THERE IN THE
ARMY AND I HATED IT.
- BUT WERE YOU WEARING
A STRAPLESS SUNDRESS
AND DOING THIS?
- NO.
- STEPH, MOROCCO IS SO FAR AWAY.
EXPENSIVELY FAR AWAY.
I'M SORRY. I ABSOLUTELY
CAN'T AFFORD IT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO PUT
IT OUT OF YOUR MIND.
- I WANT TO GO TO MOROCCO.
- I'LL FIND A WAY.
- AHH.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- A LETTER.
IT'S FROM JENNY DE CAMP.
SHE AND MITCH SAY NEW YORK
JUST ISN'T THE
SAME SINCE WE LEFT.
- YEAH, OLD MITCH MUST BE LOST
WITHOUT ME TO SELL INSURANCE TO.
- DICK, LET'S TAKE OUR VACATION
IN NEW YORK AND SEE THEM.
- HONEY, WE'RE ON THAT
WAITING LIST FOR THE CRUISE.
I MEAN, I NEED A REAL VACATION,
NOT A BIGGER PIECE OF THE ROCK.
- WELL, I NEED TO
SEE MY FRIENDS.
I DON'T HAVE CLOSE FRIENDS HERE,
PEOPLE I CAN SHARE MY
THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITH.
- WHAT ABOUT THELMA GREELY?
- SHE'S A FLAKE, DICK.
- HONEY, GIVE VERMONT A CHANCE.
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF LOCAL
ORGANIZATIONS YOU COULD JOIN.
I MEAN, YOU USED TO MEET
PEOPLE IN NEW YORK THAT WAY.
- FARM ASSOCIATION
MEETING, LECTURE TOPIC:
"I AM BOSSY'S UDDER."
- WELL, SURE YOU WENT
TO THE WORST ONE FIRST.
HERE, CHAMBER OF MUSIC
CLUB, "MEETING CANCELLED
"DUE TO POPULARITY OF
FARM ASSOCIATION LECTURE."
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ONE.
- "THE ELM STREET SOCIETY.
"AN ORGANIZATION FOR THE
PRESERVATION AND STUDY
"OF OLD NEW ENGLAND
CULTURE AND TRADITIONS."
YOU KNOW, THAT
SOUNDS INTERESTING.
(music playing)
- WHAT'S ALL THAT?
- JOANNA'S THINKING ABOUT
JOINING A HISTORICAL GROUP.
SHE INVITED THEM TO MEET HERE.
I SEE YOU'RE READING MY BOOK.
ANY QUESTIONS OR COMPLIMENTS?
- YEAH, DO I HAVE TO USE THIS?
IT'S CONFUSING.
- CONFUSING?
- YEAH, WELL, I MEAN,
LOOK AT THIS DRAWING.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
- JUST THE FINEST CUT-AWAY
VIEW OF A BOOKCASE
SINCE THE DAWN OF MAN.
- REALLY?
I SEE A GUY SHAKING
HANDS WITH A SQUID.
DICK, I'VE BEEN FIXING
UP THIS INN ALL MY LIFE.
WHY CAN'T I BUILD THE
BOOKCASE MY WAY?
- GEORGE, BECAUSE IT
HAS TO BE FUNCTIONAL
WITHOUT VIOLATING THE SPATIAL
AND ARCHITECTURAL INTEGRITY
OF THE ROOM.
- IN OTHER WORDS,
YOU WANT SOMETHING
YAY HIGH AND YAY WIDE.
Dick: NO, GEORGE, NO YAYS.
THAT'S THE REASON FOR THE BOOK.
IT GIVES PRECISE DIMENSIONS.
- I MEANT EXACTLY YAY.
- GEORGE, USE THE BOOK.
- WHATEVER YOU SAY, DICK.
ONE GUY SHAKING HANDS
WITH A SQUID COMING UP.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?
- NOTHING. IT'S JUST WHEN
IT COMES TO NEW IDEAS,
HIS HEAD IS YAY THICK.
- HELLO?
- HELLO, EVERYONE.
I'M JOANNA LOUDON AND
THIS IS MY HUSBAND, DICK.
- I'M PROFESSOR EDWARD BELLOWS
AND THIS IS NANCY,
AMY, REESE AND KENDRA.
- WELL, NICE TO MEET ALL OF YOU.
PLEASE, EVERYONE, HELP
YOURSELVES TO REFRESHMENTS.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- IT MAY JUST BE A HUNCH,
BUT I THINK BY THE END OF
THE EVENING, YOU AND KENDRA...
- YOUR HUSBAND
WON'T BE JOINING US?
- WELL, HE HAS FRIENDS.
I MEAN,
HE'S GOT WORK TO DO.
- WELL, SHALL WE GET STARTED?
AMY, WHY DON'T YOU BRING US
UP TO DATE ON OUR LAST MEETING.
- THE MEETING CONVENED AT 8 P.M.
THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
WAS TO CHOOSE A DATE
FOR OUR ANNUAL SOCIETY
DANCE, NOVEMBER 3RD.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU, JOANNA?
- FINE.
- AT 8:15, REESE READ
THE TREASURER'S REPORT
BUT THEN HE THOUGHT HE
HEARD HIS WIFE CALLING HIM
SO HE WENT INTO THE WOODS,
TURNED INTO A
RAVEN AND FLEW HOME.
- YOU TURNED INTO A RAVEN?
- IT'S THE EASIEST ONE.
Edward: THANK YOU, AMY.
AND NOW I SUPPOSE THE NEXT
ORDER OF BUSINESS TODAY
SHOULD BE TO WELCOME
JOANNA LOUDON.
(applause)
AND TO INITIATE HER
INTO OUR LITTLE CIRCLE.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- IT'S JUST OUR INITIATION
CEREMONY, JOANNA.
I MEAN, IF YOU
WANT TO BE A WITCH,
YOU HAVE TO MARRY
THE DEVIL, RIGHT?
- WHAT?
AGH!
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DON'T LIKE WEDDINGS?
- WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
- THE ELM STREET SOCIETY.
- I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU?
- OH, A SATANIC CULT.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
- I DIDN'T.
- REALLY?
AMY, I TOLD YOU THAT
NEWSPAPER AD WASN'T CLEAR.
- DON'T BLAME ME.
I LAID ALL THREE VERSIONS OF
THAT AD ON A BED OF NIGHTSHADE
AND THE SACRED TOAD
HOPPED RIGHT ONTO THAT ONE.
- OH, WELL, THEN, JOANNA
MUST HAVE MISREAD IT.
ALL RIGHT, JOANNA,
NOW YOU'LL RELAX
ONCE I ANOINT YOU
WITH THESE BAT LIVERS.
- OH, DICK!
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- THESE PEOPLE ARE WITCHES.
- GEE, JOANNA, YOU SAY
THAT LIKE IT'S A DIRTY WORD.
- OUT. EVERYBODY, OUT.
YOU TOO, OUT.
- JOANNA, GIVE US A CHANCE.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT SO
DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
WE EVEN HAVE A CREDIT UNION.
- OUT!
(door slamming)
JOIN SOME ORGANIZATIONS, JOANNA.
YOU'LL MEET LOTS
OF FRIENDS, JOANNA.
- YOU KNOW, I BET WE CAN
CATCH THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF
"I AM BOSSY'S UDDER."
(music playing)
- I'M HOME, JOANNA.
YOU CAN LOCK UP NOW.
- FINE.
- SO, HOW DID YOUR
HISTORY GROUP THING GO?
- I DIDN'T EXACTLY FIT IN.
THEY WERE A BUNCH OF WITCHES.
- EVERYBODY HAS
BAD DAYS, JOANNA.
I MEAN, YOU GET PRETTY
CRANKY YOURSELF SOMETIMES.
- I MEAN REAL WITCHES
WITH SACRED TOADS
AND POTIONS AND BAT LIVERS.
- WELL, I'M ON VACATION, I'M
NOT CLEANING UP AFTER THEM.
- AM I ASKING SO MUCH?
ALL I WANT IS A FRIEND,
JUST ONE FRIEND
LIKE THE KIND I HAD IN NEW YORK.
IN THIS WHOLE STUPID TOWN,
WHY CAN'T I COME UP
WITH ONE GOOD FRIEND?
- OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
- DO WHAT?
- BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.
- STEPHANIE, THAT'S SWEET BUT...
- OH, C'MON, JOANNA.
I'VE GOT TIME ON MY HANDS
AND YOU CAN'T MAKE A
FRIEND TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.
SO STARTING TOMORROW,
YOU'VE GOT A BEST FRIEND.
- GREAT.
- STEPHANIE, WE'RE GONNA
BE LATE FOR THE MOVIE.
Stephanie: BEST FRIENDS ARE
NEVER IMPATIENT, JOANNA.
- I CAN SENSE THE CHEMISTRY.
- WELL, I DIDN'T HAVE
THE HEART TO SAY "NO"
SO I GUESS THE SMART THING TO
DO IS JUST SPEND THE DAY WITH HER.
- WHAT WOULD THE
STUPID THING BE?
- JOANNA, NOW THAT
WE'RE BEST FRIENDS,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE A PRIVATE PHONE LINE
INSTALLED IN MY ROOM SO
WE CAN TALK LATE AT NIGHT.
- STEPHANIE, IF YOU WANT
TO TALK TO ME LATE AT NIGHT
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
COME DOWN THE HALL.
- BUT DON'T.
- HI, ALL.
WHAT'S NEW IN THE
LAND OF RENTED ROOMS?
- MICHAEL.
JOANNA AND I HAVE
FORMED A NEW FRIENDSHIP
AND SHE WAS JUST TESTING IT.
Michael: OH.
WELL, GOOD FRIENDS
ARE IMPORTANT.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU NEED
SOMEONE TO WAVE ADIOS TO
AS YOU CLIMB ON THAT
PLANE TO MOROCCO.
- MICHAEL!
HOW DID YOU GET THE TICKETS?
- STEPH, I FOUND A TRAVEL AGENT
WHO ALL BUT GAVE THEM TO ME.
OH, DICK, BY THE BYE, HERE'S
THE SHOWS WE'VE BOOKED
FOR AFTER THE VACATION.
- A TWO-PARTER
WITH A TRAVEL AGENT?
- STEPH, SPANK ME IF I'M WRONG
BUT I'D SAY A CELEBRATORY
LUNCH IS IN ORDER.
- I CAN'T, MICHAEL.
- WHY NOT?
(whispering)
- IT'S POOR JOANNA,
DESPERATE AND LONELY.
- HOW PATHETIC.
- THE SMART THING TO DO IS
JUST SPEND THE DAY WITH HER.
YOU READY TO GO, JOANNA?
- MORE THAN EVER.
- MICHAEL, ABOUT
THIS TRAVEL AGENT?
- IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT, DICK.
I HAVE TO PICK HIS
KID UP FROM SCHOOL.
(sighing)
- MORE PROBLEMS WITH
THE BOOK, GEORGE?
- WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE
TO CUT THESE STUDS
AND REPLACE THEM WITH
A HEADER ACROSS HERE.
- GEORGE, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ME, I WROTE THE BOOK.
- BUT THE HEADER YOU
DESCRIBE ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH
AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
THE MAN WHO WROTE THE BOOK
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF
THAT HEADER SNAPS.
- GEORGE, I TALKED TO EXPERTS.
THE HEADER IS NOT GONNA SNAP.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
- THE WALL WILL
COLLAPSE AND THEN...
WELL, WAIT, THAT COULD
SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS.
- HOW'S THAT?
- ROOM 3 WOULD
FALL INTO THE LOBBY
AND ROOM 3 ALREADY
HAS A BOOKCASE.
- GEORGE, DO EXACTLY
WHAT IT SAYS IN THE BOOK
AND DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.
- OKAY, DICK.
I'M SURE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
Stephanie: HERE'S
THE RESTAURANT.
JOANNA, THAT OUTFIT
I FOUND FOR YOU
MAKES YOU LOOK YEARS YOUNGER.
Joanna: HOW ABOUT HERE?
Stephanie: OH, GOOD.
IT'S A PERFECT SPOT
TO WATCH PEOPLE GO BY
AND MAKE FUN OF THEIR CLOTHES.
- STEPHANIE, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
OKAY.
- NOW, THERE'S SOMEONE
WHO JUST STEPPED OUT
OF THE PAGES OF "VOGUE"
AND INTO A SPINNING PROPELLER.
- JOANNA, IS THERE
A BUS LEAVING?
- I CAN'T SEEM TO GET
THE WAITER'S ATTENTION.
- ALLOW ME.
- YES?
- I'LL HAVE THE FRUIT PLATE.
- CHEF SALAD, DRESSING
ON THE SIDE, PLEASE.
HOW DID YOU GET
HIM TO COME OVER?
- MY VIBES.
I HAVE THESE SIGNALS I SEND
OUT ON, LIKE, A GUY FREQUENCY.
- REALLY?
I WONDER IF I COULD DO THAT.
- WELL, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE.
GO AHEAD AND TRY.
- MY GOD, IT'S WORKING.
STEPHANIE, HE'S
COMING OVER HERE.
WHAT AM I GONNA SAY TO HIM?
- HI.
- HELLO.
- YOU ARE A VERY
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.
- THANK YOU.
I REALLY SHOULD TELL YOU...
- BUT YOU SHOULD DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SQUINT.
DROP BY MY OFFICE.
I'LL FIX YOU UP WITH
SOME CONTACT LENSES.
- DON'T FEEL BAD, JOANNA,
I GOT SOME CARDS WHEN
I FIRST STARTED TOO.
- FRUIT SALAD.
CHEF SALAD.
- THANK YOU.
OH, I ORDERED THIS WITH
THE DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
- THEN SEND IT BACK.
YOU'RE ENTITLED TO
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT.
- OH, HE'S BUSY.
- HE'S A WAITER.
IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO CATER
TO PEOPLE'S EVERY WHIM,
HE WOULD HAVE BECOME
THE BOSS OF SOMETHING.
- UM, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
I ORDERED THE
DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
WOULD YOU TAKE
THIS BACK, PLEASE?
- OH, C'MON.
YOU WERE GONNA
POUR IT ON ANYWAY.
- HEY!
YOU'VE GOT A CHOICE.
YOU CAN EITHER TAKE THIS
SALAD BACK TO THE KITCHEN
IN YOUR HANDS OR IN YOUR PANTS.
- HEY, LOOK AT HIM GO.
- IS THERE ANY REASON TO
SEND YOUR FRUIT PLATE BACK?
- NO, BUT LET'S DO IT ANYWAY.
(laughing)
- HI, HONEY. HOW DID YOU SLEEP?
- FINE ONCE THE
GIGGLE 'TIL DAWN PARTY
IN STEPHANIE'S ROOM ENDED.
- I'M SORRY BUT
STEPHANIE WAS TELLING ME
ALL KINDS OF INTERESTING
AND PERSONAL THINGS
ABOUT MICHAEL THAT I
NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.
- AND YOU JUST LISTENED, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
- HI, JOANNA.
HI, MR. TICKLISH YOU-KNOW-WHERE.
GUESS WHAT?
MICHAEL AND I TALKED IT OVER
AND WE WANT THE TWO OF YOU
TO COME WITH US TO MOROCCO.
WE'VE RESERVED
TICKETS AND EVERYTHING.
- WHAT?
- I REALLY HAD TO LEAN ON THE
TRAVEL AGENT THIS TIME, DICK.
- WHAT DID YOU DO? THREATEN
HIM WITH A SUMMER HOME?
- SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, JO-JO?
- GEE.
DICK?
- WELL, THIS IS ALL VERY NICE
BUT I HATED MOROCCO, JO-JO.
I HAD ONE MEAL THERE AND
SPENT THE REST OF THE WEEK
DOING MY IMPRESSION
OF OLD FAITHFUL.
- DICK, IT'S NOT FAIR TO
CONDEMN AN ENTIRE COUNTRY
JUST BECAUSE OF ONE BAD MEAL.
- ACTUALLY, JOANNA, IT IS.
BUT IN THIS CASE, DICK
IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.
MOROCCO IS WORLD
FAMOUS FOR ITS CUISINE.
- WELL, THEN, DON'T
MISS THIS RESTAURANT
BECAUSE THEY CAN TAKE
AN ORDINARY PARASITE
AND TURN IT INTO
SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL.
- MAYBE DICK AND I SHOULD
DISCUSS THIS PRIVATELY.
- C'MON, MICHAEL,
YOU CAN'T HEAR YELLING
FROM THE KITCHEN.
- DICK, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE FEELING.
- GOOD. THEN YOU WON'T
PURSUE THIS ANY FURTHER.
- HONEY, MOROCCO'S
NOT MY FIRST CHOICE
FOR A VACATION EITHER
BUT THIS IS WITH
STEPHANIE AND MICHAEL.
- YOU'RE NOT HELPING
YOUR ARGUMENT.
- I FELT THE SAME WAY WHEN
STEPHANIE WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND
BUT IT TURNS OUT SHE'S
REALLY FUN TO BE WITH.
CAN'T YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE?
- YOU'D PREFER THIS TO NEW YORK
OR ANY PLACE ELSE IN THE WORLD?
- I THINK IT WOULD BE
FUN FOR BOTH OF US.
- AND YOU WON'T TELL STEPHANIE
ABOUT ANY MORE
OF MY TICKLE PLACES?
- I PROMISE.
- GOOD. 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO BE EMBARRASSED AND SICK.
- THANK YOU.
STEPHANIE AND MICHAEL
WILL BE SO EXCITED.
- MORE THAN THIS GUY.
OH, GEORGE, I
COULDN'T HELP NOTICING
THE BOOKCASE IS FINISHED.
- YEAH.
- GEE, ROOM 3 SHOULD HAVE
BEEN IN HERE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.
- I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
- SEEMS REAL SOLID, GEORGE.
OH, GEORGE, LOOK AT
THE VIEW FROM UP HERE.
I THINK I CAN SEE NEW HAMPSHIRE.
- THERE'S NOTHING WORSE
THAN A SORE WINNER.
- SORRY, GEORGE,
BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT,
YOU FOLLOWED THE
EXACT SPECIFICATIONS
AND IT TURNED OUT LIKE A CHARM.
- PROBLEM, DICK?
- (muttering) IT DOESN'T FIT.
- WHAT?
- IT DOESN'T FIT.
- BUT HOW CAN THAT
BE? I WENT BY YOUR BOOK.
HERE, LET'S TRY THIS ONE.
NOPE.
WHAT ABOUT UP HERE?
NOPE, IT'S TOO SMALL.
DID YOU EVER THINK OF
WRITING SHORTER BOOKS?
LET'S JUST SLING IT IN LIKE THAT
AND WE CAN READ IT SIDEWAYS.
LOOK, THERE'S NEW HAMPSHIRE.
(music playing)
- HERE'S OUR SEATS.
DIBS ON THE WINDOW.
- STEPHANIE, DICK REALLY
LIKES TO SIT BY THE WINDOW.
- NO, HONEY, FAIR IS
FAIR, SHE DID SAY, "DIBS."
DIBS ON THE WAY BACK.
- JOANNA, YOU HAVE
TO SIT NEXT TO ME.
BEST FRIENDS ALWAYS
SIT TOGETHER ON PLANES.
- SORRY, DICK.
WELL, MAYBE IF NOBODY
TAKES THAT SEAT NEXT TO YOU,
WE CAN SPEND THE NEXT 11 HOURS
GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
WITH A LITTLE LUCK,
WE MIGHT WIND UP GETTING
AS TIGHT AS THESE TWO.
- UNLESS THERE'S A MOVIE.
I'M GONNA GET SOME MAGAZINES.
- PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS,
WE'RE PREPARING FOR DEPARTURE.
COULD YOU FASTEN
YOUR SEAT BELT, PLEASE?
- I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THERE.
- ME NEITHER.
I HEAR THERE ARE GREAT BUYS
IN MOROCCO, SILKS, JEWELRY.
- OOH.
DO YOU THINK WE'LL
SEE PRINCE RAINIER?
- WHY WOULD YOU
EXPECT TO SEE HIM THERE?
- JOANNA, YOU SILLY.
HE LIVES THERE.
- NO, HE DOESN'T.
HE LIVES IN MONACO,
NEAR THE SOUTH OF FRANCE.
- RIGHT.
- WE'RE GOING TO
MOROCCO, IN NORTH AFRICA.
- OH, THAT MOROCCO.
EW, YOU MEAN,
LIKE, IN THE DESERT?
- I DON'T REALLY KNOW.
THE PERSON TO ASK
ABOUT MOROCCO IS DICK.
- BUT IT MADE HIM SICK.
EW.
MICHAEL, WE'RE GETTING OFF.
- WHAT?
- UP, UP, UP.
- STEPHANIE, YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
THE PLANE IS ABOUT TO TAKE OFF.
- HOLD THAT DOOR.
- STEPHANIE!
- I'M SORRY, MISS, BUT YOU'LL
HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SEAT.
WE'RE READY FOR TAKE-OFF.
- DO YOU REALIZE THIS
PLANE IS GOING TO MOROCCO?
- OF COURSE.
- WELL, I'D HATE TO
BE IN YOUR SHOES
WHEN THE REST OF THESE
PEOPLE FIND THAT OUT.
- STEPHANIE, COME BACK HERE
OR OUR FRIENDSHIP IS THROUGH.
Stephanie: BEST FRIENDS
DON'T HOLD GRUDGES, JOANNA.
- WHERE ARE MICHAEL
AND STEPHANIE?
- THEY GOT OFF THE PLANE.
- IF THEY'RE NOT GOING,
THEN I DON'T HAVE TO GO.
- TAKE YOUR SEAT, PLEASE.
WE'RE BEGINNING OUR TAXI.
- WE'VE CHANGED OUR
MINDS. WE'RE GETTING OFF.
- WANNA BET?
- BUT...
- I'M SORRY BUT
WE'RE TAKING OFF.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
AFTER YOU'VE EATEN.
WE'RE HAVING AN
AUTHENTIC MOROCCAN MEAL.
- MISS!
MISS, JUST TOSS MINE IN HERE
AND ELIMINATE THE MIDDLEMAN,
ALL RIGHT?
- CHEER UP, HONEY. AT
LEAST WE'RE ON VACATION.
Dick: BUT I HATE MOROCCO.
(theme music playing)
- MEOW!
- WELL, I JUST LOADED THE
LAST GUESTS INTO THEIR CAR.
THE INN IS NOW OFFICIALLY
CLOSED FOR RENOVATION.
- GREAT, GEORGE, BECAUSE
I HAVE A PROJECT HERE
THAT'S GONNA BE AS
EXCITING TO YOU AS IT IS TO ME.
- UH-OH.
- GEORGE, I WANT YOU TO BUILD
A BOOKCASE HERE ON THE WALL.
IT WILL BE SORT OF A LENDING
LIBRARY FOR THE GUESTS,
FEATURING THE COLLECTIVE
WORKS OF DICK LOUDON,
AMERICA'S MR. HOW TO.
- I'LL GET ON IT AS SOON
AS I BUILD THAT FENCE
WE'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT.
- AND, GEORGE, YOU
MIGHT BE ABLE TO USE THIS.
IT'S A BOOK I WROTE
ON SHELF BUILDING.
- "SHELF HELP" BY DICK LOUDON.
CUTE. DON'T NEED IT.
- GEORGE, WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY IS I WANT YOU TO USE THIS BOOK.
YOU KNOW, BUILDING A
BOOKCASE CAN BE TRICKY.
- RIGHT. WE WOULDN'T
WANT ME TO SLIP
AND ACCIDENTALLY BUILD
A SHIP OR SOMETHING.
- OH, UH, STEPHANIE, I'VE
DECIDED TO CLOSE THE INN
EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED.
- OH, DICK!
NO MORE STUPID
GUESTS TO WAIT ON.
NO MORE STUPID ROOMS TO CLEAN.
NO MORE STUPID
BOSSES TO LISTEN TO.
- WHOA, WHILE THE CAT'S AWAY.
- MICHAEL, DICK
CLOSED THE INN EARLY.
- WELL, LET ME GET IN THERE.
- TAKE MY PLACE.
SO WHERE ARE YOU TWO
GOING ON YOUR VACATION?
OR IS THIS IT?
- ACTUALLY, I'VE LEFT THAT
UP TO CUPCAKE TOURS.
BUT SHE'S HAVING
TROUBLE DECIDING.
- I JUST WANT TO MAKE
SURE I PICK THE COUNTRY
I'LL LOOK BEST IN.
AND I HAVE. MOROCCO.
- MOROCCO?
I WENT THERE IN THE
ARMY AND I HATED IT.
- BUT WERE YOU WEARING
A STRAPLESS SUNDRESS
AND DOING THIS?
- NO.
- STEPH, MOROCCO IS SO FAR AWAY.
EXPENSIVELY FAR AWAY.
I'M SORRY. I ABSOLUTELY
CAN'T AFFORD IT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO PUT
IT OUT OF YOUR MIND.
- I WANT TO GO TO MOROCCO.
- I'LL FIND A WAY.
- AHH.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- A LETTER.
IT'S FROM JENNY DE CAMP.
SHE AND MITCH SAY NEW YORK
JUST ISN'T THE
SAME SINCE WE LEFT.
- YEAH, OLD MITCH MUST BE LOST
WITHOUT ME TO SELL INSURANCE TO.
- DICK, LET'S TAKE OUR VACATION
IN NEW YORK AND SEE THEM.
- HONEY, WE'RE ON THAT
WAITING LIST FOR THE CRUISE.
I MEAN, I NEED A REAL VACATION,
NOT A BIGGER PIECE OF THE ROCK.
- WELL, I NEED TO
SEE MY FRIENDS.
I DON'T HAVE CLOSE FRIENDS HERE,
PEOPLE I CAN SHARE MY
THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITH.
- WHAT ABOUT THELMA GREELY?
- SHE'S A FLAKE, DICK.
- HONEY, GIVE VERMONT A CHANCE.
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF LOCAL
ORGANIZATIONS YOU COULD JOIN.
I MEAN, YOU USED TO MEET
PEOPLE IN NEW YORK THAT WAY.
- FARM ASSOCIATION
MEETING, LECTURE TOPIC:
"I AM BOSSY'S UDDER."
- WELL, SURE YOU WENT
TO THE WORST ONE FIRST.
HERE, CHAMBER OF MUSIC
CLUB, "MEETING CANCELLED
"DUE TO POPULARITY OF
FARM ASSOCIATION LECTURE."
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ONE.
- "THE ELM STREET SOCIETY.
"AN ORGANIZATION FOR THE
PRESERVATION AND STUDY
"OF OLD NEW ENGLAND
CULTURE AND TRADITIONS."
YOU KNOW, THAT
SOUNDS INTERESTING.
(music playing)
- WHAT'S ALL THAT?
- JOANNA'S THINKING ABOUT
JOINING A HISTORICAL GROUP.
SHE INVITED THEM TO MEET HERE.
I SEE YOU'RE READING MY BOOK.
ANY QUESTIONS OR COMPLIMENTS?
- YEAH, DO I HAVE TO USE THIS?
IT'S CONFUSING.
- CONFUSING?
- YEAH, WELL, I MEAN,
LOOK AT THIS DRAWING.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
- JUST THE FINEST CUT-AWAY
VIEW OF A BOOKCASE
SINCE THE DAWN OF MAN.
- REALLY?
I SEE A GUY SHAKING
HANDS WITH A SQUID.
DICK, I'VE BEEN FIXING
UP THIS INN ALL MY LIFE.
WHY CAN'T I BUILD THE
BOOKCASE MY WAY?
- GEORGE, BECAUSE IT
HAS TO BE FUNCTIONAL
WITHOUT VIOLATING THE SPATIAL
AND ARCHITECTURAL INTEGRITY
OF THE ROOM.
- IN OTHER WORDS,
YOU WANT SOMETHING
YAY HIGH AND YAY WIDE.
Dick: NO, GEORGE, NO YAYS.
THAT'S THE REASON FOR THE BOOK.
IT GIVES PRECISE DIMENSIONS.
- I MEANT EXACTLY YAY.
- GEORGE, USE THE BOOK.
- WHATEVER YOU SAY, DICK.
ONE GUY SHAKING HANDS
WITH A SQUID COMING UP.
- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?
- NOTHING. IT'S JUST WHEN
IT COMES TO NEW IDEAS,
HIS HEAD IS YAY THICK.
- HELLO?
- HELLO, EVERYONE.
I'M JOANNA LOUDON AND
THIS IS MY HUSBAND, DICK.
- I'M PROFESSOR EDWARD BELLOWS
AND THIS IS NANCY,
AMY, REESE AND KENDRA.
- WELL, NICE TO MEET ALL OF YOU.
PLEASE, EVERYONE, HELP
YOURSELVES TO REFRESHMENTS.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- IT MAY JUST BE A HUNCH,
BUT I THINK BY THE END OF
THE EVENING, YOU AND KENDRA...
- YOUR HUSBAND
WON'T BE JOINING US?
- WELL, HE HAS FRIENDS.
I MEAN,
HE'S GOT WORK TO DO.
- WELL, SHALL WE GET STARTED?
AMY, WHY DON'T YOU BRING US
UP TO DATE ON OUR LAST MEETING.
- THE MEETING CONVENED AT 8 P.M.
THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
WAS TO CHOOSE A DATE
FOR OUR ANNUAL SOCIETY
DANCE, NOVEMBER 3RD.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU, JOANNA?
- FINE.
- AT 8:15, REESE READ
THE TREASURER'S REPORT
BUT THEN HE THOUGHT HE
HEARD HIS WIFE CALLING HIM
SO HE WENT INTO THE WOODS,
TURNED INTO A
RAVEN AND FLEW HOME.
- YOU TURNED INTO A RAVEN?
- IT'S THE EASIEST ONE.
Edward: THANK YOU, AMY.
AND NOW I SUPPOSE THE NEXT
ORDER OF BUSINESS TODAY
SHOULD BE TO WELCOME
JOANNA LOUDON.
(applause)
AND TO INITIATE HER
INTO OUR LITTLE CIRCLE.
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- IT'S JUST OUR INITIATION
CEREMONY, JOANNA.
I MEAN, IF YOU
WANT TO BE A WITCH,
YOU HAVE TO MARRY
THE DEVIL, RIGHT?
- WHAT?
AGH!
- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DON'T LIKE WEDDINGS?
- WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?
- THE ELM STREET SOCIETY.
- I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU?
- OH, A SATANIC CULT.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
- I DIDN'T.
- REALLY?
AMY, I TOLD YOU THAT
NEWSPAPER AD WASN'T CLEAR.
- DON'T BLAME ME.
I LAID ALL THREE VERSIONS OF
THAT AD ON A BED OF NIGHTSHADE
AND THE SACRED TOAD
HOPPED RIGHT ONTO THAT ONE.
- OH, WELL, THEN, JOANNA
MUST HAVE MISREAD IT.
ALL RIGHT, JOANNA,
NOW YOU'LL RELAX
ONCE I ANOINT YOU
WITH THESE BAT LIVERS.
- OH, DICK!
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- THESE PEOPLE ARE WITCHES.
- GEE, JOANNA, YOU SAY
THAT LIKE IT'S A DIRTY WORD.
- OUT. EVERYBODY, OUT.
YOU TOO, OUT.
- JOANNA, GIVE US A CHANCE.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT SO
DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PEOPLE.
WE EVEN HAVE A CREDIT UNION.
- OUT!
(door slamming)
JOIN SOME ORGANIZATIONS, JOANNA.
YOU'LL MEET LOTS
OF FRIENDS, JOANNA.
- YOU KNOW, I BET WE CAN
CATCH THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF
"I AM BOSSY'S UDDER."
(music playing)
- I'M HOME, JOANNA.
YOU CAN LOCK UP NOW.
- FINE.
- SO, HOW DID YOUR
HISTORY GROUP THING GO?
- I DIDN'T EXACTLY FIT IN.
THEY WERE A BUNCH OF WITCHES.
- EVERYBODY HAS
BAD DAYS, JOANNA.
I MEAN, YOU GET PRETTY
CRANKY YOURSELF SOMETIMES.
- I MEAN REAL WITCHES
WITH SACRED TOADS
AND POTIONS AND BAT LIVERS.
- WELL, I'M ON VACATION, I'M
NOT CLEANING UP AFTER THEM.
- AM I ASKING SO MUCH?
ALL I WANT IS A FRIEND,
JUST ONE FRIEND
LIKE THE KIND I HAD IN NEW YORK.
IN THIS WHOLE STUPID TOWN,
WHY CAN'T I COME UP
WITH ONE GOOD FRIEND?
- OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
- DO WHAT?
- BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.
- STEPHANIE, THAT'S SWEET BUT...
- OH, C'MON, JOANNA.
I'VE GOT TIME ON MY HANDS
AND YOU CAN'T MAKE A
FRIEND TO SAVE YOUR LIFE.
SO STARTING TOMORROW,
YOU'VE GOT A BEST FRIEND.
- GREAT.
- STEPHANIE, WE'RE GONNA
BE LATE FOR THE MOVIE.
Stephanie: BEST FRIENDS ARE
NEVER IMPATIENT, JOANNA.
- I CAN SENSE THE CHEMISTRY.
- WELL, I DIDN'T HAVE
THE HEART TO SAY "NO"
SO I GUESS THE SMART THING TO
DO IS JUST SPEND THE DAY WITH HER.
- WHAT WOULD THE
STUPID THING BE?
- JOANNA, NOW THAT
WE'RE BEST FRIENDS,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE A PRIVATE PHONE LINE
INSTALLED IN MY ROOM SO
WE CAN TALK LATE AT NIGHT.
- STEPHANIE, IF YOU WANT
TO TALK TO ME LATE AT NIGHT
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
COME DOWN THE HALL.
- BUT DON'T.
- HI, ALL.
WHAT'S NEW IN THE
LAND OF RENTED ROOMS?
- MICHAEL.
JOANNA AND I HAVE
FORMED A NEW FRIENDSHIP
AND SHE WAS JUST TESTING IT.
Michael: OH.
WELL, GOOD FRIENDS
ARE IMPORTANT.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU NEED
SOMEONE TO WAVE ADIOS TO
AS YOU CLIMB ON THAT
PLANE TO MOROCCO.
- MICHAEL!
HOW DID YOU GET THE TICKETS?
- STEPH, I FOUND A TRAVEL AGENT
WHO ALL BUT GAVE THEM TO ME.
OH, DICK, BY THE BYE, HERE'S
THE SHOWS WE'VE BOOKED
FOR AFTER THE VACATION.
- A TWO-PARTER
WITH A TRAVEL AGENT?
- STEPH, SPANK ME IF I'M WRONG
BUT I'D SAY A CELEBRATORY
LUNCH IS IN ORDER.
- I CAN'T, MICHAEL.
- WHY NOT?
(whispering)
- IT'S POOR JOANNA,
DESPERATE AND LONELY.
- HOW PATHETIC.
- THE SMART THING TO DO IS
JUST SPEND THE DAY WITH HER.
YOU READY TO GO, JOANNA?
- MORE THAN EVER.
- MICHAEL, ABOUT
THIS TRAVEL AGENT?
- IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT, DICK.
I HAVE TO PICK HIS
KID UP FROM SCHOOL.
(sighing)
- MORE PROBLEMS WITH
THE BOOK, GEORGE?
- WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE
TO CUT THESE STUDS
AND REPLACE THEM WITH
A HEADER ACROSS HERE.
- GEORGE, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO TELL ME, I WROTE THE BOOK.
- BUT THE HEADER YOU
DESCRIBE ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH
AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL
THE MAN WHO WROTE THE BOOK
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF
THAT HEADER SNAPS.
- GEORGE, I TALKED TO EXPERTS.
THE HEADER IS NOT GONNA SNAP.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
- THE WALL WILL
COLLAPSE AND THEN...
WELL, WAIT, THAT COULD
SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS.
- HOW'S THAT?
- ROOM 3 WOULD
FALL INTO THE LOBBY
AND ROOM 3 ALREADY
HAS A BOOKCASE.
- GEORGE, DO EXACTLY
WHAT IT SAYS IN THE BOOK
AND DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.
- OKAY, DICK.
I'M SURE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
Stephanie: HERE'S
THE RESTAURANT.
JOANNA, THAT OUTFIT
I FOUND FOR YOU
MAKES YOU LOOK YEARS YOUNGER.
Joanna: HOW ABOUT HERE?
Stephanie: OH, GOOD.
IT'S A PERFECT SPOT
TO WATCH PEOPLE GO BY
AND MAKE FUN OF THEIR CLOTHES.
- STEPHANIE, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
OKAY.
- NOW, THERE'S SOMEONE
WHO JUST STEPPED OUT
OF THE PAGES OF "VOGUE"
AND INTO A SPINNING PROPELLER.
- JOANNA, IS THERE
A BUS LEAVING?
- I CAN'T SEEM TO GET
THE WAITER'S ATTENTION.
- ALLOW ME.
- YES?
- I'LL HAVE THE FRUIT PLATE.
- CHEF SALAD, DRESSING
ON THE SIDE, PLEASE.
HOW DID YOU GET
HIM TO COME OVER?
- MY VIBES.
I HAVE THESE SIGNALS I SEND
OUT ON, LIKE, A GUY FREQUENCY.
- REALLY?
I WONDER IF I COULD DO THAT.
- WELL, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE.
GO AHEAD AND TRY.
- MY GOD, IT'S WORKING.
STEPHANIE, HE'S
COMING OVER HERE.
WHAT AM I GONNA SAY TO HIM?
- HI.
- HELLO.
- YOU ARE A VERY
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.
- THANK YOU.
I REALLY SHOULD TELL YOU...
- BUT YOU SHOULD DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SQUINT.
DROP BY MY OFFICE.
I'LL FIX YOU UP WITH
SOME CONTACT LENSES.
- DON'T FEEL BAD, JOANNA,
I GOT SOME CARDS WHEN
I FIRST STARTED TOO.
- FRUIT SALAD.
CHEF SALAD.
- THANK YOU.
OH, I ORDERED THIS WITH
THE DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
- THEN SEND IT BACK.
YOU'RE ENTITLED TO
EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT.
- OH, HE'S BUSY.
- HE'S A WAITER.
IF HE DIDN'T WANT TO CATER
TO PEOPLE'S EVERY WHIM,
HE WOULD HAVE BECOME
THE BOSS OF SOMETHING.
- UM, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
I ORDERED THE
DRESSING ON THE SIDE.
WOULD YOU TAKE
THIS BACK, PLEASE?
- OH, C'MON.
YOU WERE GONNA
POUR IT ON ANYWAY.
- HEY!
YOU'VE GOT A CHOICE.
YOU CAN EITHER TAKE THIS
SALAD BACK TO THE KITCHEN
IN YOUR HANDS OR IN YOUR PANTS.
- HEY, LOOK AT HIM GO.
- IS THERE ANY REASON TO
SEND YOUR FRUIT PLATE BACK?
- NO, BUT LET'S DO IT ANYWAY.
(laughing)
- HI, HONEY. HOW DID YOU SLEEP?
- FINE ONCE THE
GIGGLE 'TIL DAWN PARTY
IN STEPHANIE'S ROOM ENDED.
- I'M SORRY BUT
STEPHANIE WAS TELLING ME
ALL KINDS OF INTERESTING
AND PERSONAL THINGS
ABOUT MICHAEL THAT I
NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED.
- AND YOU JUST LISTENED, RIGHT?
- RIGHT.
- HI, JOANNA.
HI, MR. TICKLISH YOU-KNOW-WHERE.
GUESS WHAT?
MICHAEL AND I TALKED IT OVER
AND WE WANT THE TWO OF YOU
TO COME WITH US TO MOROCCO.
WE'VE RESERVED
TICKETS AND EVERYTHING.
- WHAT?
- I REALLY HAD TO LEAN ON THE
TRAVEL AGENT THIS TIME, DICK.
- WHAT DID YOU DO? THREATEN
HIM WITH A SUMMER HOME?
- SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, JO-JO?
- GEE.
DICK?
- WELL, THIS IS ALL VERY NICE
BUT I HATED MOROCCO, JO-JO.
I HAD ONE MEAL THERE AND
SPENT THE REST OF THE WEEK
DOING MY IMPRESSION
OF OLD FAITHFUL.
- DICK, IT'S NOT FAIR TO
CONDEMN AN ENTIRE COUNTRY
JUST BECAUSE OF ONE BAD MEAL.
- ACTUALLY, JOANNA, IT IS.
BUT IN THIS CASE, DICK
IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.
MOROCCO IS WORLD
FAMOUS FOR ITS CUISINE.
- WELL, THEN, DON'T
MISS THIS RESTAURANT
BECAUSE THEY CAN TAKE
AN ORDINARY PARASITE
AND TURN IT INTO
SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL.
- MAYBE DICK AND I SHOULD
DISCUSS THIS PRIVATELY.
- C'MON, MICHAEL,
YOU CAN'T HEAR YELLING
FROM THE KITCHEN.
- DICK, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE FEELING.
- GOOD. THEN YOU WON'T
PURSUE THIS ANY FURTHER.
- HONEY, MOROCCO'S
NOT MY FIRST CHOICE
FOR A VACATION EITHER
BUT THIS IS WITH
STEPHANIE AND MICHAEL.
- YOU'RE NOT HELPING
YOUR ARGUMENT.
- I FELT THE SAME WAY WHEN
STEPHANIE WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND
BUT IT TURNS OUT SHE'S
REALLY FUN TO BE WITH.
CAN'T YOU GIVE IT A CHANCE?
- YOU'D PREFER THIS TO NEW YORK
OR ANY PLACE ELSE IN THE WORLD?
- I THINK IT WOULD BE
FUN FOR BOTH OF US.
- AND YOU WON'T TELL STEPHANIE
ABOUT ANY MORE
OF MY TICKLE PLACES?
- I PROMISE.
- GOOD. 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO BE EMBARRASSED AND SICK.
- THANK YOU.
STEPHANIE AND MICHAEL
WILL BE SO EXCITED.
- MORE THAN THIS GUY.
OH, GEORGE, I
COULDN'T HELP NOTICING
THE BOOKCASE IS FINISHED.
- YEAH.
- GEE, ROOM 3 SHOULD HAVE
BEEN IN HERE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.
- I WOULDN'T DO THAT.
- SEEMS REAL SOLID, GEORGE.
OH, GEORGE, LOOK AT
THE VIEW FROM UP HERE.
I THINK I CAN SEE NEW HAMPSHIRE.
- THERE'S NOTHING WORSE
THAN A SORE WINNER.
- SORRY, GEORGE,
BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT,
YOU FOLLOWED THE
EXACT SPECIFICATIONS
AND IT TURNED OUT LIKE A CHARM.
- PROBLEM, DICK?
- (muttering) IT DOESN'T FIT.
- WHAT?
- IT DOESN'T FIT.
- BUT HOW CAN THAT
BE? I WENT BY YOUR BOOK.
HERE, LET'S TRY THIS ONE.
NOPE.
WHAT ABOUT UP HERE?
NOPE, IT'S TOO SMALL.
DID YOU EVER THINK OF
WRITING SHORTER BOOKS?
LET'S JUST SLING IT IN LIKE THAT
AND WE CAN READ IT SIDEWAYS.
LOOK, THERE'S NEW HAMPSHIRE.
(music playing)
- HERE'S OUR SEATS.
DIBS ON THE WINDOW.
- STEPHANIE, DICK REALLY
LIKES TO SIT BY THE WINDOW.
- NO, HONEY, FAIR IS
FAIR, SHE DID SAY, "DIBS."
DIBS ON THE WAY BACK.
- JOANNA, YOU HAVE
TO SIT NEXT TO ME.
BEST FRIENDS ALWAYS
SIT TOGETHER ON PLANES.
- SORRY, DICK.
WELL, MAYBE IF NOBODY
TAKES THAT SEAT NEXT TO YOU,
WE CAN SPEND THE NEXT 11 HOURS
GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
WITH A LITTLE LUCK,
WE MIGHT WIND UP GETTING
AS TIGHT AS THESE TWO.
- UNLESS THERE'S A MOVIE.
I'M GONNA GET SOME MAGAZINES.
- PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS,
WE'RE PREPARING FOR DEPARTURE.
COULD YOU FASTEN
YOUR SEAT BELT, PLEASE?
- I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THERE.
- ME NEITHER.
I HEAR THERE ARE GREAT BUYS
IN MOROCCO, SILKS, JEWELRY.
- OOH.
DO YOU THINK WE'LL
SEE PRINCE RAINIER?
- WHY WOULD YOU
EXPECT TO SEE HIM THERE?
- JOANNA, YOU SILLY.
HE LIVES THERE.
- NO, HE DOESN'T.
HE LIVES IN MONACO,
NEAR THE SOUTH OF FRANCE.
- RIGHT.
- WE'RE GOING TO
MOROCCO, IN NORTH AFRICA.
- OH, THAT MOROCCO.
EW, YOU MEAN,
LIKE, IN THE DESERT?
- I DON'T REALLY KNOW.
THE PERSON TO ASK
ABOUT MOROCCO IS DICK.
- BUT IT MADE HIM SICK.
EW.
MICHAEL, WE'RE GETTING OFF.
- WHAT?
- UP, UP, UP.
- STEPHANIE, YOU CAN'T LEAVE.
THE PLANE IS ABOUT TO TAKE OFF.
- HOLD THAT DOOR.
- STEPHANIE!
- I'M SORRY, MISS, BUT YOU'LL
HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SEAT.
WE'RE READY FOR TAKE-OFF.
- DO YOU REALIZE THIS
PLANE IS GOING TO MOROCCO?
- OF COURSE.
- WELL, I'D HATE TO
BE IN YOUR SHOES
WHEN THE REST OF THESE
PEOPLE FIND THAT OUT.
- STEPHANIE, COME BACK HERE
OR OUR FRIENDSHIP IS THROUGH.
Stephanie: BEST FRIENDS
DON'T HOLD GRUDGES, JOANNA.
- WHERE ARE MICHAEL
AND STEPHANIE?
- THEY GOT OFF THE PLANE.
- IF THEY'RE NOT GOING,
THEN I DON'T HAVE TO GO.
- TAKE YOUR SEAT, PLEASE.
WE'RE BEGINNING OUR TAXI.
- WE'VE CHANGED OUR
MINDS. WE'RE GETTING OFF.
- WANNA BET?
- BUT...
- I'M SORRY BUT
WE'RE TAKING OFF.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER
AFTER YOU'VE EATEN.
WE'RE HAVING AN
AUTHENTIC MOROCCAN MEAL.
- MISS!
MISS, JUST TOSS MINE IN HERE
AND ELIMINATE THE MIDDLEMAN,
ALL RIGHT?
- CHEER UP, HONEY. AT
LEAST WE'RE ON VACATION.
Dick: BUT I HATE MOROCCO.
(theme music playing)
- MEOW!