Newhart (1982–1990): Season 4, Episode 24 - Pre-Nups - full transcript
Michael balks when Mr. Vanderkellen demands he sign a prenuptial agreement, feeling it indicates a lack of trust on Stephanie's part. Meanwhile, Dick breaks an irreplaceable music box given to the Vanderkellens by Winston Churchill.
(theme music playing)
(music playing)
- ALL SET, DICK.
I POSTED THE "CLOSED"
SIGN OUT FRONT.
- GOOD. THEN, WE'RE
READY TO ROLL.
- I'M REALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS TRIP.
IT'LL BE A NICE BREAK
FROM LUGGING PEOPLE'S
SUITCASES AROUND.
- WELL, I FINISHED WRAPPING
MR. VANDERKELLEN'S
BIRTHDAY GIFT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
GIVE A MILLIONAIRE SLIPPERS?
- HONEY, IT'S A
PRETTY GOOD PRESENT.
I MEAN, MILLIONAIRE OR NOT,
AT NIGHT THE MAN'S
TOOTSIES GET COLD.
- STEPH, I STILL
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY ARE YOU BRINGING
EMPTY SUITCASES?
- MICHAEL, IT'S NOT
THAT COMPLICATED.
WHEN WE GET TO
NEWPORT, MOMMY WILL SAY,
"STEPHANIE, DO YOU
WANT TO GO SHOPPING?"
AND I'LL SAY, "NO, NO, NO.
I DON'T NEED ANYTHING."
AND SHE'LL SAY, "COME
ON, JUST ONE OUTFIT."
AND I'LL SAY, "OKAY,
BUT THAT'S IT."
AND THEN SHE'LL
BUY OUT THE STORE
AND I'LL BRING IT
ALL BACK IN THESE.
- WELL, WHY EVEN BRING LUGGAGE?
IF YOU SHOW UP EMPTY-HANDED,
MAYBE THEY'LL BUY YOU THAT TOO.
- MICHAEL, LEAVE THE BAGS.
- NOW, STEPH, NO
ARGUMENTS THIS TIME.
ON A LONG DRIVE LIKE THIS, I
INSIST YOU WEAR YOUR SEATBELT.
- BUT, MICHAEL, IT
RUMPLES MY DRESS.
- SORRY, STEPH, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO SEE MY CUPCAKE
FLYING THROUGH ANY WINDSHIELD.
- YOU CAN BET I'LL BE
WEARING MY SEATBELT.
- YEAH, GEORGE,
WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
- WELL, WE BETTER GET GOING.
IT'S A FIVE-HOUR
DRIVE TO NEWPORT.
- I'VE GOT SOME GREAT CAR GAMES.
LET'S PLAY 20 QUESTIONS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
IT'S A LIVING PERSON.
- DAVID HASSELHOFF.
- WOW, THAT'S RIGHT.
- GEORGE, MAYBE WE
SHOULDN'T PLAY ANYMORE GAMES.
- OH, OKAY.
♪ 99 BOTTLES OF
BEER ON THE WALL ♪
♪ 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ IF ONE OF THEM... ♪
(music playing)
George: ♪ 20 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ IF ONE OF THOSE BOTTLES
SHOULD HAPPEN TO FALL ♪
♪ 19 BOTTLES OF
BEER ON THE WALL ♪
Dick: GEORGE!
(doorbell rings)
- HELLO, VICTORIA.
- HELLO, MISS. WELCOME.
OH, YOU'VE HAD A
VERY LONG DRIVE.
- YEAH, EXACTLY 1580
BOTTLES OF BEER.
- I'LL TELL YOUR
PARENTS YOU'VE ARRIVED.
- HI, ALL THESE THINGS.
HAH. MISS ME?
HA, HA. YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT.
(giggling)
- STEPHANIE, MY GOD,
THIS IS THE MOST LUXURIOUS
HOME I HAVE EVER SEEN.
SLIPPERS?
- HONEY, AN AWFUL
LOT OF COLD MARBLE
TO WALK ON IN BARE TOOTSIES.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE THE
PLUMBING THEY HAVE HERE?
IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF
THE PIPES WERE ALL COPPER.
- I BET THEY ARE, GEORGE.
IT'S A PITY THEY OBSCURED
THEM WITH THIS DAMN MAHOGANY.
- STEPHANIE!
- MOMMY!
- PRINCESS!
- DADDY!
- YOU REMEMBER
EVERYONE, DICK AND JOANNA,
GEORGE AND MICHAEL.
- HI, MR. AND MRS. V.
THANKS FOR THE INVITE.
CAN I STAY IN THE
EAST WING THIS TIME?
- ABSOLUTELY. BUT I'M AFRAID
THE FOURTH FLOOR'S CLOSED.
YOU SEE, WE'RE CONVERTING
THE SCREENING ROOM TO DOLBY,
WHATEVER THAT IS.
- COME ALONG UPSTAIRS, EVERYONE.
I'LL HAVE THE SERVANT
SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOMS.
- OH, JUST POINT THE WAY.
WE'LL BE ABLE TO
FIND THEM OURSELVES.
- NO, YOU WON'T.
STEPHANIE, DO YOU
WANT TO GO SHOPPING?
- NO, NO, NO. I DON'T
NEED ANYTHING.
- COME ON, JUST ONE OUTFIT.
- MICHAEL, COULD I SEE
YOU FOR JUST A MOMENT?
- SI, SI, MR. V.
- MICHAEL, IT'S OBVIOUS
THAT YOU AND STEPHANIE
ARE VERY FOND OF EACH OTHER.
- I'D PUT IT MORE STRONGLY
THAN THAT, MR. VANDERKELLEN.
SHE'S MY MAIN MUFFIN.
- QUITE.
WELL, I LOVE STEPHANIE
VERY MUCH TOO
SO I'VE HAD THIS
DOCUMENT DRAWN UP.
- PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
WELL, THERE MUST BE
SOME KIND OF A MISTAKE.
STEPH AND I AREN'T EVEN ENGAGED.
- BUT YOU'RE CLEARLY
HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION.
NOW IF YOU MARRY, WELL AND GOOD.
BUT IF YOU SHOULD DIVORCE,
THAT'S WHEN THIS
LITTLE BABY KICKS IN.
IT SIMPLY PROVIDES
THAT STEPHANIE'S MONEY
SHOULD REMAIN HERS.
- OH.
ARE YOU SURE ALL
THIS IS NECESSARY?
- NOW, NOW, NOW, MICHAEL,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
FEEL PRESSURED INTO THIS.
READ IT CAREFULLY,
CONSIDER EACH POINT,
THINK IT OVER
AND THEN... SIGN IT.
(music playing)
- OH NO, A FINGERPRINT.
HONEY, PLEASE, PLEASE
DON'T WALK ON THAT.
- THE FLOOR?
- WELL, BE CAREFUL.
- HONEY, WILL YOU RELAX?
THIS IS A GUEST
ROOM, NOT A MUSEUM.
- OH, MY GOD, A RENOIR.
- HONEY, DON'T WORRY,
I WON'T WALK ON IT.
(music box playing)
- DICK.
- HONEY,
JUST BECAUSE THESE
THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE,
DOESN'T MEAN THEY AREN'T
MEANT TO BE HANDLED, USED AND...
(crashing)
- OHH!
- IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION,
THE FLOOR IS OKAY.
- OH, MY GOD, WE
OWE THEM $7 MILLION.
- I'M SURE THIS IS REPLACEABLE.
WE SAW HUNDREDS JUST
LIKE THIS ALL OVER EUROPE.
WELL, NOT LIKE THIS.
(knocking on door)
- COMING.
- HI, ALL.
I NEED SOMEONE TO WITNESS
MY SIGNATURE ON THIS.
- WHAT IS IT?
- A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
- MICHAEL, DOES THIS MEAN
YOU AND STEPHANIE
ARE GETTING MARRIED?
- I JUMPED TO THE SAME
CONCLUSION, JOANNA,
BUT I WAS WRONG.
MR. V. IS JUST PLAYING IT SAFE.
- MICHAEL, HAVE YOU READ THIS?
- I STARTED TO BUT THEY LOST ME
AFTER THAT FIRST "HERETOFORE."
HA, HA.
BESIDES, MR. V.
TRIMMED THE FAT FOR ME.
THIS JUST SAYS IF
STEPH AND I DIVORCE,
SHE GETS TO KEEP HER FORTUNE.
- WELL, IF YOU THINK
THAT'S FAIR, I'LL WITNESS IT.
- GREAT.
IT IS FAIR, ISN'T IT?
I MEAN, YOU'D SIGN IT, RIGHT?
- WELL...
- YOU WOULDN'T SIGN IT?
- WELL, YOU KNOW, IF IT WAS ME,
I MIGHT FEEL SOME
OF THE PHRASING
COULD BE CONSTRUED AS
HINTING THAT I WAS, YOU KNOW,
A BLOODSUCKING GIGOLO.
- WHOA, I'M BEGINNING TO
HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT SIGNING THIS.
I BETTER GO MULL THIS
OVER IN THE HEDGE MAZE.
(music playing)
- HAVEN'T YOU FINISHED WITH
THAT SHIP ARRIVAL SECTION YET?
- IN A MOMENT, ARTHUR, I
HAVE FRIENDS ARRIVING.
- WELL, I HAVE SHIPS.
- HELLO.
- OH, WELL.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR ROOM?
- IT'S LOVELY.
- YEAH.
STILL FILLED WITH
SOME BEAUTIFUL THINGS.
ONE IN PARTICULAR
I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE MUSIC BOX
WITH THE BALLERINA ON TOP.
- OH, YOU NOTICED THAT.
OF COURSE, IT HAS
NO MONETARY VALUE.
YOU SEE HUNDREDS
LIKE IT ALL OVER EUROPE.
ITS ONLY REAL VALUE
IS SENTIMENTAL.
YOU SEE, CHURCHILL
GAVE IT TO ME.
- WIN... WIN... WINSTON,
UH... WINSTON CHURCHILL?
- YES.
- ACTUALLY, WE CALL YOUR
ROOM THE CHURCHILL ROOM.
- OH, SO A LOT OF THE THINGS
IN THERE WERE FROM CHURCHILL.
- NO, JUST THE MUSIC BOX.
WE BUILT THE WHOLE
ROOM AROUND IT.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOW
YOU HOW THE MUSIC BOX WORKS?
- NO.
I MEAN, I'M KIND OF INTO REGGAE.
- OH, DEAR, ARTHUR, ONE OF
YOUR SUPERTANKERS WENT DOWN.
- AGAIN?
I BETTER GO BUY ANOTHER ONE.
- WELL, HE TOOK
THAT AWFULLY WELL.
- OH, IT'S JUST A BOAT.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS
SENTIMENTALLY ATTACHED TO IT.
- DICK, YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM.
- TELL HIM WHAT? THAT HIS ROOM
WAS BUILT AROUND
A PILE OF RUBBLE?
- OH, GEORGE, THANK
GOD YOU'RE HERE.
- BOY, WHAT A DAY.
DEXTER, THE HEAD
MAINTENANCE MAN,
TOOK ME ON A COMPLETE
TOUR OF THE GROUNDS.
I DON'T THINK THERE'S
A DUCT IN THE PLACE
I HAVEN'T HAD MY HEAD INTO.
OH, AND THE PLUMBING IS COPPER.
DEXTER TOLD ME IF
YOU TOOK ALL THE PIPES
AND LAID THEM END TO END,
YOU'D HAVE A REALLY LONG PIPE.
- GEORGE, I NEED YOUR HELP.
I BROKE THE
VANDERKELLENS' MUSIC BOX
AND I WAS HOPING
YOU'D BE ABLE TO FIX IT.
- GEE, DICK, I'M ON VACATION.
I KINDA WANTED TO GET AWAY
FROM ALL THAT HANDYMAN STUFF.
- GEORGE, YOU JUST STUCK
YOUR HEAD IN EVERY DUCT.
C'MON.
- HI, EVERYBODY,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- UPSTAIRS.
DICK BROKE THE... OW!
- STEPH, THERE YOU ARE.
LOOK WHAT YOUR
FATHER GAVE TO ME.
- EW, LEGAL STUFF.
I'M BORED.
- STEPH, THIS IS A
PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT
YOUR DAD WANTS ME TO SIGN.
- OH, MICHAEL, I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT BUSINESS.
LET'S ORDER A SNACK
ON THE INTERCOM
AND THEN HIDE FROM THE SERVANTS.
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, STEPH.
THIS DOCUMENT IS AN INSULT.
- SO DON'T SIGN IT.
- BUT, STEPH, YOUR PAPA
SAN IS TURNING THE SCREWS.
- WELL, I CAN'T LET HIM
RUIN OUR VACATION LIKE THIS.
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
- GREAT. BE STRONG.
DON'T LET HIM BULLY US.
- DADDY!
DADDY, IBM WENT UNDER.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
- NOTHING, DADDY, I JUST
WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.
MICHAEL TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
STUPID PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
- OH, I WOULDN'T CALL
IT STUPID, PRINCESS.
- WELL, MICHAEL
DOESN'T WANT TO SIGN IT
AND IT'S INTERFERING
WITH MY FUN,
SO WHERE'S THE PAPER SHREDDER?
- NOW, PRINCESS,
YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME.
YOU SEE, YOU'RE IN LOVE,
SO YOU'RE NOT OBJECTIVE.
- AM TOO.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
FOR INSTANCE, DO YOU
FIND MICHAEL ATTRACTIVE?
- ATTRACTIVE?
HE'S THE HANDSOMEST
MAN IN THE WORLD.
- WRONG.
HE IS CUTE, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.
BUT THERE ARE MANY MEN
FAR BETTER LOOKING THAN HE.
THIS SELLIG CHAP
SPRINGS TO MIND.
YOU SEE, LOVE HAS BLINDED
YOU BUT IT'S CLEAR TO ME
THAT IF MICHAEL REFUSES
TO SIGN THAT DOCUMENT,
IT MEANS ONLY ONE THING.
HE LOVES YOU NOT FOR
YOURSELF BUT FOR YOUR MONEY.
- DADDY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW
IT'S THAT MICHAEL
LOVES ME FOR ME.
- HI, ALL. IF ANYONE NEEDS ME,
I'LL BE HOVERING OVER SU CASA.
GOD, I LOVE THIS PLACE.
(music playing)
- HONEY, WHY
AREN'T YOU MINGLING?
- DICK, I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO THESE PEOPLE.
- HONEY, DON'T BE SILLY.
THEY'RE JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- WHAT DO YOU DO?
- WELL, I'M PRESIDENT
OF A COUNTRY.
- STEPH, ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
TOUCHED THE FOIE GRAS.
- I'M FINE, MICHAEL.
- BUT YOU'VE BARELY SPOKEN
TO ME SINCE YESTERDAY.
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH MY CUPCAKE.
THIS GUY WANTS
TO... WHOA, CAVIAR!
- MICHAEL, I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE CAVIAR.
- WELL, I HATE IT AND
IT MAKES ME THIRSTY
BUT IT COSTS A BAZILLION
DOLLARS AN OUNCE.
- GEORGE.
HOW'S THE MUSIC BOX COMING?
- THE GLUE'S DRYING NOW.
BOY, DO THESE FOLKS KNOW
HOW TO THROW A PARTY.
EVERY LIGHT IS ON A RHEOSTAT.
- WOW!
EXCUSE ME, SIR, SHOULDN'T
YOUR WIFE BE IN A VAULT.
(giggling)
- ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.
ARTHUR'S GOING
TO OPEN HIS GIFTS.
(applause)
- I LOVE GIFTS.
IT ALMOST COMPENSATES FOR
BEING ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DEAD.
- ARTHUR!
- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY SO
I CAN SAY WHAT I LIKE.
I THINK I'LL OPEN
THIS ONE FIRST.
IT'S FROM THE BRENTWOODS.
TUPPERWARE.
- AND YOU WERE WORRIED?
- WHAT A LOVELY NAME
FOR A RACEHORSE.
Crowd: AHH!
- NOW THIS ONE'S
FROM THE CARSTAIRS.
A GUTENBERG BIBLE.
Crowd: AHH!
- THIS ONE GOES
RIGHT BY THE BED.
- LET'S HOPE HE DOESN'T
GET AROUND TO OUR GIFT
UNTIL AFTER EVERYONE LEAVES.
- THIS ONE'S FROM THE LOUDONS.
FOOTWEAR.
- OHH!
- THEY'RE NOT REAL LEATHER.
MADE IN TAIWAN.
GOOD HEAVENS, THESE COME
FROM ONE OF MY FACTORIES.
OH, IT'S A JOKE GIFT.
BRAVO, LOUDON.
(applause)
(laughing)
- WE COULD HARDLY
KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE
UNTIL YOU OPENED IT.
(laughing)
- ISN'T THIS EXCITING, STEPH?
A RACEHORSE, A GUTENBERG BIBLE.
I WONDER WHAT'S NEXT.
SOMETHING PLATINUM, I HOPE.
(giggling)
- MICHAEL, WHY DON'T WE
TAKE A WALK IN THE GARDEN,
JUST THE TWO OF US?
- WHY DON'T YOU
START WITHOUT ME?
IF HE GETS ANY DUPLICATE GIFTS,
I WANT TO BE IN "I'LL
TAKE THAT" DISTANCE.
- DADDY WAS RIGHT.
YOU DON'T LOVE ME FOR ME.
YOU LOVE ME FOR MY MONEY.
- WHAT? HOW CAN
YOU SAY SUCH A THING?
- A MINK CAR COVER.
- WOW!
(applause)
- STEPH, WAIT.
(music playing)
- WELL, THE GLUE'S DRY.
- OH, IT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
THEY'LL NEVER GUESS
ANYTHING WAS WRONG.
(music box playing)
(music stops)
- GEORGE, I GUESS I
BROKE THE CYLINDER.
- DICK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL
THE VANDERKELLENS WHAT HAPPENED?
IT'S THE ONLY
HONORABLE THING TO DO.
- HONEY, LET'S GIVE THE
DEVIOUS THING ONE MORE SHOT.
GEORGE, DO YOU
THINK YOU CAN FIX IT?
- WELL, I GUESS SO.
I WAS PLANNING
TO HAVE A NIGHTCAP
AND CHECK OUT THE CRAWLSPACE.
- HI, GEORGE.
- MICHAEL.
- DICK, JOANNA, CAN I BEND
YOUR EAR FOR A MOMENT?
- SURE, MICHAEL.
(sobbing)
- MICHAEL, WHAT'S WRONG?
- I THINK I'M GONNA LOSE STEPH.
SHE LOCKED HERSELF IN HER ROOM
AND SHE WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME.
SHE THINKS I ONLY LOVE
HER FOR HER MONEY.
- WELL, THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE YOU, MICHAEL,
DOES IT, DICK?
DICK?
- WELL...
- I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK MAYBE STEPH'S RIGHT.
- MICHAEL, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE
YOU'RE AFTER STEPHANIE'S MONEY.
- REASONS, JOANNA.
- WELL...
WELL, YOU TELL ME. WHAT
IS IT YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?
- WELL, THE USUAL THINGS.
SHE'S PRETTY.
SHE DRESSES WELL.
SHE HAS THAT CUTE
LITTLE BUTTON NOSE.
- WOULD YOU LOVE HER
IF SHE DIDN'T DRESS WELL?
- NO.
- SUPPOSE SHE WASN'T PRETTY.
- DATE A DOG? NOT
IN THIS LIFETIME.
- WOULD YOU LOVE
HER IF SHE WAS POOR?
- WELL, SURE, AS LONG AS
SHE STILL DRESSED WELL
AND WAS PRETTY.
WHOA, DID YOU HEAR
WHAT I JUST SAID?
I'D LOVE STEPH EVEN
IF SHE WAS POOR.
I DON'T WANT HER FOR HER MONEY.
- GREAT, YOU'RE
NOT A GOLD-DIGGER,
YOU'RE JUST SUPERFICIAL.
- YEAH, THANKS.
I'M GONNA GO FIGHT
FOR MY CUPCAKE.
(music playing)
Stephanie: I REALLY DON'T SEE
WHAT THIS IS GOING
TO ACCOMPLISH.
- I'M GOING TO PROVE TO YOU AND
YOUR FATHER ONCE AND FOR ALL
THAT I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN YOUR MONEY.
WOW!
- GOOD START, MICHAEL.
- OH, THERE YOU ARE,
MR. VANDERKELLEN.
THEY TOLD ME YOU'D BE DOWN HERE.
- APPARENTLY, THEY WERE RIGHT.
- MR. V., ALL THIS
TALK ABOUT PRE-NUPS
HAS STARTED SOME PRETTY
SERIOUS DOUBTS BOUNCING AROUND.
I REFUSE TO SIGN THIS THING BUT,
I WANT BOTH OF YOU TO KNOW
THAT I LOVE STEPH FOR HERSELF.
WELL, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.
WHAT ARE WE POURING?
- WE'RE NOT.
- HUH?
- MICHAEL, I'D REALLY
LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU
BUT THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN
ACTING, MAYBE DADDY'S RIGHT.
- WELL, I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT THE SAME THING
BUT DICK AND JOANNA
HELPED ME TO REALIZE
THAT I'M NOT A GOLD-DIGGER.
I'M JUST SUPERFICIAL.
- MICHAEL, ARE YOU SURE?
- WELL, ANYONE CAN PASS
THEMSELVES OFF AS SUPERFICIAL.
BUT WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE
YOU ARE NOT A GOLD-DIGGER?
- TRY THIS ON.
I FELL FOR STEPH THE
MOMENT I SAW HER.
AS FAR AS I KNEW, THE ONLY
GOLD SHE HAD WAS IN HER HAIR.
- REALLY, MICHAEL?
- YOU KNEW HER NAME
WAS VANDERKELLEN.
THAT DOESN'T EXACTLY SAY,
"BUSTER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?"
- HE'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
HOLD ON.
OKAY, REMEMBER THE TIME
WE WALKED TO THE
TOP OF THAT HILL
AND THE SUN WAS
SETTING OVER MIRROR LAKE?
AND THE LEAVES WERE
STARTING TO TURN GOLD?
SOMEWHERE A LOON WAS CALLING.
THERE WERE STREAKS OF
ORANGE AND YELLOW IN THE SKY
BUT I DIDN'T NOTICE
ANY OF THAT CRUD,
BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE MY
EYES OFF YOUR NEW SWEATER.
- THE RED ONE.
- EXACTAMENTE.
- ALL RIGHT. YOU'VE CONVINCED
ME YOU ARE SUPERFICIAL
BUT NOT THAT YOUR
INTENTIONS ARE HONORABLE.
- THEN I GIVE UP.
I GUESS THE ONLY THING
THAT'LL CONVINCE YOU IS THIS.
- MICHAEL, DON'T.
- DO!
- DADDY, BUTT OUT.
NOW, I'M SURE THAT MICHAEL
LOVES ME FOR MYSELF.
AND IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US,
WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS
MAKING UP TO DO.
- BUT PRINCESS...
- DADDY...
I LOVE YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
NOW HIT THE STAIRS.
- ALL RIGHT.
BUT IT'S A GOOD THING I'M RICH,
I CAN DO MY POUTING IN ARUBA.
- STEPH, I'VE NEVER
FELT CLOSER TO YOU
THAN AT THIS MOMENT.
HERE,
NOW YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO DOUBT ME AGAIN.
- AND YOU NEVER
HAVE TO DOUBT ME.
- OH, STEPH.
(music playing)
- WOW!
(music playing)
(knocking on door)
- GEORGE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
- I COULDN'T FIX THE CYLINDER
SO I HAD TO BUY A NEW ONE.
BOY, ARE THESE
THINGS HARD TO FIND.
(knocking on door)
- WHO IS IT?
- IT'S ARTHUR AND MARIAN.
- HOW'S IT COMING?
- JUST ONE MORE MINUTE.
- ARTHUR AND MARIAN WHO?
(laughing)
- FIRST JOKE GIFTS AND NOW THIS.
(laughing)
- COME IN.
- I HOPE WE'RE NOT INTRUDING
BUT WE JUST COULDN'T
LET YOU LEAVE
WITHOUT PLAYING THAT
MUSIC BOX FOR YOU.
- OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE I
WAS AFRAID TO TOUCH IT.
- IT'S A CHARMING LITTLE THING.
WINNIE LOVED THIS TOO.
LISTEN.
(music box playing "99
Bottles of Beer on The Wall")
(theme music playing)
- MEOW!
(music playing)
- ALL SET, DICK.
I POSTED THE "CLOSED"
SIGN OUT FRONT.
- GOOD. THEN, WE'RE
READY TO ROLL.
- I'M REALLY LOOKING
FORWARD TO THIS TRIP.
IT'LL BE A NICE BREAK
FROM LUGGING PEOPLE'S
SUITCASES AROUND.
- WELL, I FINISHED WRAPPING
MR. VANDERKELLEN'S
BIRTHDAY GIFT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
GIVE A MILLIONAIRE SLIPPERS?
- HONEY, IT'S A
PRETTY GOOD PRESENT.
I MEAN, MILLIONAIRE OR NOT,
AT NIGHT THE MAN'S
TOOTSIES GET COLD.
- STEPH, I STILL
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY ARE YOU BRINGING
EMPTY SUITCASES?
- MICHAEL, IT'S NOT
THAT COMPLICATED.
WHEN WE GET TO
NEWPORT, MOMMY WILL SAY,
"STEPHANIE, DO YOU
WANT TO GO SHOPPING?"
AND I'LL SAY, "NO, NO, NO.
I DON'T NEED ANYTHING."
AND SHE'LL SAY, "COME
ON, JUST ONE OUTFIT."
AND I'LL SAY, "OKAY,
BUT THAT'S IT."
AND THEN SHE'LL
BUY OUT THE STORE
AND I'LL BRING IT
ALL BACK IN THESE.
- WELL, WHY EVEN BRING LUGGAGE?
IF YOU SHOW UP EMPTY-HANDED,
MAYBE THEY'LL BUY YOU THAT TOO.
- MICHAEL, LEAVE THE BAGS.
- NOW, STEPH, NO
ARGUMENTS THIS TIME.
ON A LONG DRIVE LIKE THIS, I
INSIST YOU WEAR YOUR SEATBELT.
- BUT, MICHAEL, IT
RUMPLES MY DRESS.
- SORRY, STEPH, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO SEE MY CUPCAKE
FLYING THROUGH ANY WINDSHIELD.
- YOU CAN BET I'LL BE
WEARING MY SEATBELT.
- YEAH, GEORGE,
WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
- WELL, WE BETTER GET GOING.
IT'S A FIVE-HOUR
DRIVE TO NEWPORT.
- I'VE GOT SOME GREAT CAR GAMES.
LET'S PLAY 20 QUESTIONS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
IT'S A LIVING PERSON.
- DAVID HASSELHOFF.
- WOW, THAT'S RIGHT.
- GEORGE, MAYBE WE
SHOULDN'T PLAY ANYMORE GAMES.
- OH, OKAY.
♪ 99 BOTTLES OF
BEER ON THE WALL ♪
♪ 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ IF ONE OF THEM... ♪
(music playing)
George: ♪ 20 BOTTLES OF BEER ♪
♪ IF ONE OF THOSE BOTTLES
SHOULD HAPPEN TO FALL ♪
♪ 19 BOTTLES OF
BEER ON THE WALL ♪
Dick: GEORGE!
(doorbell rings)
- HELLO, VICTORIA.
- HELLO, MISS. WELCOME.
OH, YOU'VE HAD A
VERY LONG DRIVE.
- YEAH, EXACTLY 1580
BOTTLES OF BEER.
- I'LL TELL YOUR
PARENTS YOU'VE ARRIVED.
- HI, ALL THESE THINGS.
HAH. MISS ME?
HA, HA. YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT.
(giggling)
- STEPHANIE, MY GOD,
THIS IS THE MOST LUXURIOUS
HOME I HAVE EVER SEEN.
SLIPPERS?
- HONEY, AN AWFUL
LOT OF COLD MARBLE
TO WALK ON IN BARE TOOTSIES.
- CAN YOU IMAGINE THE
PLUMBING THEY HAVE HERE?
IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF
THE PIPES WERE ALL COPPER.
- I BET THEY ARE, GEORGE.
IT'S A PITY THEY OBSCURED
THEM WITH THIS DAMN MAHOGANY.
- STEPHANIE!
- MOMMY!
- PRINCESS!
- DADDY!
- YOU REMEMBER
EVERYONE, DICK AND JOANNA,
GEORGE AND MICHAEL.
- HI, MR. AND MRS. V.
THANKS FOR THE INVITE.
CAN I STAY IN THE
EAST WING THIS TIME?
- ABSOLUTELY. BUT I'M AFRAID
THE FOURTH FLOOR'S CLOSED.
YOU SEE, WE'RE CONVERTING
THE SCREENING ROOM TO DOLBY,
WHATEVER THAT IS.
- COME ALONG UPSTAIRS, EVERYONE.
I'LL HAVE THE SERVANT
SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOMS.
- OH, JUST POINT THE WAY.
WE'LL BE ABLE TO
FIND THEM OURSELVES.
- NO, YOU WON'T.
STEPHANIE, DO YOU
WANT TO GO SHOPPING?
- NO, NO, NO. I DON'T
NEED ANYTHING.
- COME ON, JUST ONE OUTFIT.
- MICHAEL, COULD I SEE
YOU FOR JUST A MOMENT?
- SI, SI, MR. V.
- MICHAEL, IT'S OBVIOUS
THAT YOU AND STEPHANIE
ARE VERY FOND OF EACH OTHER.
- I'D PUT IT MORE STRONGLY
THAN THAT, MR. VANDERKELLEN.
SHE'S MY MAIN MUFFIN.
- QUITE.
WELL, I LOVE STEPHANIE
VERY MUCH TOO
SO I'VE HAD THIS
DOCUMENT DRAWN UP.
- PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
WELL, THERE MUST BE
SOME KIND OF A MISTAKE.
STEPH AND I AREN'T EVEN ENGAGED.
- BUT YOU'RE CLEARLY
HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION.
NOW IF YOU MARRY, WELL AND GOOD.
BUT IF YOU SHOULD DIVORCE,
THAT'S WHEN THIS
LITTLE BABY KICKS IN.
IT SIMPLY PROVIDES
THAT STEPHANIE'S MONEY
SHOULD REMAIN HERS.
- OH.
ARE YOU SURE ALL
THIS IS NECESSARY?
- NOW, NOW, NOW, MICHAEL,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
FEEL PRESSURED INTO THIS.
READ IT CAREFULLY,
CONSIDER EACH POINT,
THINK IT OVER
AND THEN... SIGN IT.
(music playing)
- OH NO, A FINGERPRINT.
HONEY, PLEASE, PLEASE
DON'T WALK ON THAT.
- THE FLOOR?
- WELL, BE CAREFUL.
- HONEY, WILL YOU RELAX?
THIS IS A GUEST
ROOM, NOT A MUSEUM.
- OH, MY GOD, A RENOIR.
- HONEY, DON'T WORRY,
I WON'T WALK ON IT.
(music box playing)
- DICK.
- HONEY,
JUST BECAUSE THESE
THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE,
DOESN'T MEAN THEY AREN'T
MEANT TO BE HANDLED, USED AND...
(crashing)
- OHH!
- IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION,
THE FLOOR IS OKAY.
- OH, MY GOD, WE
OWE THEM $7 MILLION.
- I'M SURE THIS IS REPLACEABLE.
WE SAW HUNDREDS JUST
LIKE THIS ALL OVER EUROPE.
WELL, NOT LIKE THIS.
(knocking on door)
- COMING.
- HI, ALL.
I NEED SOMEONE TO WITNESS
MY SIGNATURE ON THIS.
- WHAT IS IT?
- A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
- MICHAEL, DOES THIS MEAN
YOU AND STEPHANIE
ARE GETTING MARRIED?
- I JUMPED TO THE SAME
CONCLUSION, JOANNA,
BUT I WAS WRONG.
MR. V. IS JUST PLAYING IT SAFE.
- MICHAEL, HAVE YOU READ THIS?
- I STARTED TO BUT THEY LOST ME
AFTER THAT FIRST "HERETOFORE."
HA, HA.
BESIDES, MR. V.
TRIMMED THE FAT FOR ME.
THIS JUST SAYS IF
STEPH AND I DIVORCE,
SHE GETS TO KEEP HER FORTUNE.
- WELL, IF YOU THINK
THAT'S FAIR, I'LL WITNESS IT.
- GREAT.
IT IS FAIR, ISN'T IT?
I MEAN, YOU'D SIGN IT, RIGHT?
- WELL...
- YOU WOULDN'T SIGN IT?
- WELL, YOU KNOW, IF IT WAS ME,
I MIGHT FEEL SOME
OF THE PHRASING
COULD BE CONSTRUED AS
HINTING THAT I WAS, YOU KNOW,
A BLOODSUCKING GIGOLO.
- WHOA, I'M BEGINNING TO
HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT SIGNING THIS.
I BETTER GO MULL THIS
OVER IN THE HEDGE MAZE.
(music playing)
- HAVEN'T YOU FINISHED WITH
THAT SHIP ARRIVAL SECTION YET?
- IN A MOMENT, ARTHUR, I
HAVE FRIENDS ARRIVING.
- WELL, I HAVE SHIPS.
- HELLO.
- OH, WELL.
HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR ROOM?
- IT'S LOVELY.
- YEAH.
STILL FILLED WITH
SOME BEAUTIFUL THINGS.
ONE IN PARTICULAR
I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE MUSIC BOX
WITH THE BALLERINA ON TOP.
- OH, YOU NOTICED THAT.
OF COURSE, IT HAS
NO MONETARY VALUE.
YOU SEE HUNDREDS
LIKE IT ALL OVER EUROPE.
ITS ONLY REAL VALUE
IS SENTIMENTAL.
YOU SEE, CHURCHILL
GAVE IT TO ME.
- WIN... WIN... WINSTON,
UH... WINSTON CHURCHILL?
- YES.
- ACTUALLY, WE CALL YOUR
ROOM THE CHURCHILL ROOM.
- OH, SO A LOT OF THE THINGS
IN THERE WERE FROM CHURCHILL.
- NO, JUST THE MUSIC BOX.
WE BUILT THE WHOLE
ROOM AROUND IT.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOW
YOU HOW THE MUSIC BOX WORKS?
- NO.
I MEAN, I'M KIND OF INTO REGGAE.
- OH, DEAR, ARTHUR, ONE OF
YOUR SUPERTANKERS WENT DOWN.
- AGAIN?
I BETTER GO BUY ANOTHER ONE.
- WELL, HE TOOK
THAT AWFULLY WELL.
- OH, IT'S JUST A BOAT.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS
SENTIMENTALLY ATTACHED TO IT.
- DICK, YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM.
- TELL HIM WHAT? THAT HIS ROOM
WAS BUILT AROUND
A PILE OF RUBBLE?
- OH, GEORGE, THANK
GOD YOU'RE HERE.
- BOY, WHAT A DAY.
DEXTER, THE HEAD
MAINTENANCE MAN,
TOOK ME ON A COMPLETE
TOUR OF THE GROUNDS.
I DON'T THINK THERE'S
A DUCT IN THE PLACE
I HAVEN'T HAD MY HEAD INTO.
OH, AND THE PLUMBING IS COPPER.
DEXTER TOLD ME IF
YOU TOOK ALL THE PIPES
AND LAID THEM END TO END,
YOU'D HAVE A REALLY LONG PIPE.
- GEORGE, I NEED YOUR HELP.
I BROKE THE
VANDERKELLENS' MUSIC BOX
AND I WAS HOPING
YOU'D BE ABLE TO FIX IT.
- GEE, DICK, I'M ON VACATION.
I KINDA WANTED TO GET AWAY
FROM ALL THAT HANDYMAN STUFF.
- GEORGE, YOU JUST STUCK
YOUR HEAD IN EVERY DUCT.
C'MON.
- HI, EVERYBODY,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- UPSTAIRS.
DICK BROKE THE... OW!
- STEPH, THERE YOU ARE.
LOOK WHAT YOUR
FATHER GAVE TO ME.
- EW, LEGAL STUFF.
I'M BORED.
- STEPH, THIS IS A
PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT
YOUR DAD WANTS ME TO SIGN.
- OH, MICHAEL, I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT BUSINESS.
LET'S ORDER A SNACK
ON THE INTERCOM
AND THEN HIDE FROM THE SERVANTS.
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, STEPH.
THIS DOCUMENT IS AN INSULT.
- SO DON'T SIGN IT.
- BUT, STEPH, YOUR PAPA
SAN IS TURNING THE SCREWS.
- WELL, I CAN'T LET HIM
RUIN OUR VACATION LIKE THIS.
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
- GREAT. BE STRONG.
DON'T LET HIM BULLY US.
- DADDY!
DADDY, IBM WENT UNDER.
- WHAT DID YOU SAY?
- NOTHING, DADDY, I JUST
WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.
MICHAEL TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
STUPID PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
- OH, I WOULDN'T CALL
IT STUPID, PRINCESS.
- WELL, MICHAEL
DOESN'T WANT TO SIGN IT
AND IT'S INTERFERING
WITH MY FUN,
SO WHERE'S THE PAPER SHREDDER?
- NOW, PRINCESS,
YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME.
YOU SEE, YOU'RE IN LOVE,
SO YOU'RE NOT OBJECTIVE.
- AM TOO.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
FOR INSTANCE, DO YOU
FIND MICHAEL ATTRACTIVE?
- ATTRACTIVE?
HE'S THE HANDSOMEST
MAN IN THE WORLD.
- WRONG.
HE IS CUTE, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.
BUT THERE ARE MANY MEN
FAR BETTER LOOKING THAN HE.
THIS SELLIG CHAP
SPRINGS TO MIND.
YOU SEE, LOVE HAS BLINDED
YOU BUT IT'S CLEAR TO ME
THAT IF MICHAEL REFUSES
TO SIGN THAT DOCUMENT,
IT MEANS ONLY ONE THING.
HE LOVES YOU NOT FOR
YOURSELF BUT FOR YOUR MONEY.
- DADDY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW
IT'S THAT MICHAEL
LOVES ME FOR ME.
- HI, ALL. IF ANYONE NEEDS ME,
I'LL BE HOVERING OVER SU CASA.
GOD, I LOVE THIS PLACE.
(music playing)
- HONEY, WHY
AREN'T YOU MINGLING?
- DICK, I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO THESE PEOPLE.
- HONEY, DON'T BE SILLY.
THEY'RE JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE.
- HI.
- HELLO.
- WHAT DO YOU DO?
- WELL, I'M PRESIDENT
OF A COUNTRY.
- STEPH, ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
TOUCHED THE FOIE GRAS.
- I'M FINE, MICHAEL.
- BUT YOU'VE BARELY SPOKEN
TO ME SINCE YESTERDAY.
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH MY CUPCAKE.
THIS GUY WANTS
TO... WHOA, CAVIAR!
- MICHAEL, I THOUGHT
YOU DIDN'T LIKE CAVIAR.
- WELL, I HATE IT AND
IT MAKES ME THIRSTY
BUT IT COSTS A BAZILLION
DOLLARS AN OUNCE.
- GEORGE.
HOW'S THE MUSIC BOX COMING?
- THE GLUE'S DRYING NOW.
BOY, DO THESE FOLKS KNOW
HOW TO THROW A PARTY.
EVERY LIGHT IS ON A RHEOSTAT.
- WOW!
EXCUSE ME, SIR, SHOULDN'T
YOUR WIFE BE IN A VAULT.
(giggling)
- ATTENTION, EVERYBODY.
ARTHUR'S GOING
TO OPEN HIS GIFTS.
(applause)
- I LOVE GIFTS.
IT ALMOST COMPENSATES FOR
BEING ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DEAD.
- ARTHUR!
- IT'S MY BIRTHDAY SO
I CAN SAY WHAT I LIKE.
I THINK I'LL OPEN
THIS ONE FIRST.
IT'S FROM THE BRENTWOODS.
TUPPERWARE.
- AND YOU WERE WORRIED?
- WHAT A LOVELY NAME
FOR A RACEHORSE.
Crowd: AHH!
- NOW THIS ONE'S
FROM THE CARSTAIRS.
A GUTENBERG BIBLE.
Crowd: AHH!
- THIS ONE GOES
RIGHT BY THE BED.
- LET'S HOPE HE DOESN'T
GET AROUND TO OUR GIFT
UNTIL AFTER EVERYONE LEAVES.
- THIS ONE'S FROM THE LOUDONS.
FOOTWEAR.
- OHH!
- THEY'RE NOT REAL LEATHER.
MADE IN TAIWAN.
GOOD HEAVENS, THESE COME
FROM ONE OF MY FACTORIES.
OH, IT'S A JOKE GIFT.
BRAVO, LOUDON.
(applause)
(laughing)
- WE COULD HARDLY
KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE
UNTIL YOU OPENED IT.
(laughing)
- ISN'T THIS EXCITING, STEPH?
A RACEHORSE, A GUTENBERG BIBLE.
I WONDER WHAT'S NEXT.
SOMETHING PLATINUM, I HOPE.
(giggling)
- MICHAEL, WHY DON'T WE
TAKE A WALK IN THE GARDEN,
JUST THE TWO OF US?
- WHY DON'T YOU
START WITHOUT ME?
IF HE GETS ANY DUPLICATE GIFTS,
I WANT TO BE IN "I'LL
TAKE THAT" DISTANCE.
- DADDY WAS RIGHT.
YOU DON'T LOVE ME FOR ME.
YOU LOVE ME FOR MY MONEY.
- WHAT? HOW CAN
YOU SAY SUCH A THING?
- A MINK CAR COVER.
- WOW!
(applause)
- STEPH, WAIT.
(music playing)
- WELL, THE GLUE'S DRY.
- OH, IT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
THEY'LL NEVER GUESS
ANYTHING WAS WRONG.
(music box playing)
(music stops)
- GEORGE, I GUESS I
BROKE THE CYLINDER.
- DICK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL
THE VANDERKELLENS WHAT HAPPENED?
IT'S THE ONLY
HONORABLE THING TO DO.
- HONEY, LET'S GIVE THE
DEVIOUS THING ONE MORE SHOT.
GEORGE, DO YOU
THINK YOU CAN FIX IT?
- WELL, I GUESS SO.
I WAS PLANNING
TO HAVE A NIGHTCAP
AND CHECK OUT THE CRAWLSPACE.
- HI, GEORGE.
- MICHAEL.
- DICK, JOANNA, CAN I BEND
YOUR EAR FOR A MOMENT?
- SURE, MICHAEL.
(sobbing)
- MICHAEL, WHAT'S WRONG?
- I THINK I'M GONNA LOSE STEPH.
SHE LOCKED HERSELF IN HER ROOM
AND SHE WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME.
SHE THINKS I ONLY LOVE
HER FOR HER MONEY.
- WELL, THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE YOU, MICHAEL,
DOES IT, DICK?
DICK?
- WELL...
- I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK MAYBE STEPH'S RIGHT.
- MICHAEL, I REFUSE TO BELIEVE
YOU'RE AFTER STEPHANIE'S MONEY.
- REASONS, JOANNA.
- WELL...
WELL, YOU TELL ME. WHAT
IS IT YOU LIKE ABOUT HER?
- WELL, THE USUAL THINGS.
SHE'S PRETTY.
SHE DRESSES WELL.
SHE HAS THAT CUTE
LITTLE BUTTON NOSE.
- WOULD YOU LOVE HER
IF SHE DIDN'T DRESS WELL?
- NO.
- SUPPOSE SHE WASN'T PRETTY.
- DATE A DOG? NOT
IN THIS LIFETIME.
- WOULD YOU LOVE
HER IF SHE WAS POOR?
- WELL, SURE, AS LONG AS
SHE STILL DRESSED WELL
AND WAS PRETTY.
WHOA, DID YOU HEAR
WHAT I JUST SAID?
I'D LOVE STEPH EVEN
IF SHE WAS POOR.
I DON'T WANT HER FOR HER MONEY.
- GREAT, YOU'RE
NOT A GOLD-DIGGER,
YOU'RE JUST SUPERFICIAL.
- YEAH, THANKS.
I'M GONNA GO FIGHT
FOR MY CUPCAKE.
(music playing)
Stephanie: I REALLY DON'T SEE
WHAT THIS IS GOING
TO ACCOMPLISH.
- I'M GOING TO PROVE TO YOU AND
YOUR FATHER ONCE AND FOR ALL
THAT I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN YOUR MONEY.
WOW!
- GOOD START, MICHAEL.
- OH, THERE YOU ARE,
MR. VANDERKELLEN.
THEY TOLD ME YOU'D BE DOWN HERE.
- APPARENTLY, THEY WERE RIGHT.
- MR. V., ALL THIS
TALK ABOUT PRE-NUPS
HAS STARTED SOME PRETTY
SERIOUS DOUBTS BOUNCING AROUND.
I REFUSE TO SIGN THIS THING BUT,
I WANT BOTH OF YOU TO KNOW
THAT I LOVE STEPH FOR HERSELF.
WELL, I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER.
WHAT ARE WE POURING?
- WE'RE NOT.
- HUH?
- MICHAEL, I'D REALLY
LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU
BUT THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN
ACTING, MAYBE DADDY'S RIGHT.
- WELL, I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT THE SAME THING
BUT DICK AND JOANNA
HELPED ME TO REALIZE
THAT I'M NOT A GOLD-DIGGER.
I'M JUST SUPERFICIAL.
- MICHAEL, ARE YOU SURE?
- WELL, ANYONE CAN PASS
THEMSELVES OFF AS SUPERFICIAL.
BUT WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE
YOU ARE NOT A GOLD-DIGGER?
- TRY THIS ON.
I FELL FOR STEPH THE
MOMENT I SAW HER.
AS FAR AS I KNEW, THE ONLY
GOLD SHE HAD WAS IN HER HAIR.
- REALLY, MICHAEL?
- YOU KNEW HER NAME
WAS VANDERKELLEN.
THAT DOESN'T EXACTLY SAY,
"BUSTER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?"
- HE'S GOOD.
ALL RIGHT.
HOLD ON.
OKAY, REMEMBER THE TIME
WE WALKED TO THE
TOP OF THAT HILL
AND THE SUN WAS
SETTING OVER MIRROR LAKE?
AND THE LEAVES WERE
STARTING TO TURN GOLD?
SOMEWHERE A LOON WAS CALLING.
THERE WERE STREAKS OF
ORANGE AND YELLOW IN THE SKY
BUT I DIDN'T NOTICE
ANY OF THAT CRUD,
BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE MY
EYES OFF YOUR NEW SWEATER.
- THE RED ONE.
- EXACTAMENTE.
- ALL RIGHT. YOU'VE CONVINCED
ME YOU ARE SUPERFICIAL
BUT NOT THAT YOUR
INTENTIONS ARE HONORABLE.
- THEN I GIVE UP.
I GUESS THE ONLY THING
THAT'LL CONVINCE YOU IS THIS.
- MICHAEL, DON'T.
- DO!
- DADDY, BUTT OUT.
NOW, I'M SURE THAT MICHAEL
LOVES ME FOR MYSELF.
AND IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US,
WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS
MAKING UP TO DO.
- BUT PRINCESS...
- DADDY...
I LOVE YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
NOW HIT THE STAIRS.
- ALL RIGHT.
BUT IT'S A GOOD THING I'M RICH,
I CAN DO MY POUTING IN ARUBA.
- STEPH, I'VE NEVER
FELT CLOSER TO YOU
THAN AT THIS MOMENT.
HERE,
NOW YOU'LL NEVER
HAVE TO DOUBT ME AGAIN.
- AND YOU NEVER
HAVE TO DOUBT ME.
- OH, STEPH.
(music playing)
- WOW!
(music playing)
(knocking on door)
- GEORGE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
- I COULDN'T FIX THE CYLINDER
SO I HAD TO BUY A NEW ONE.
BOY, ARE THESE
THINGS HARD TO FIND.
(knocking on door)
- WHO IS IT?
- IT'S ARTHUR AND MARIAN.
- HOW'S IT COMING?
- JUST ONE MORE MINUTE.
- ARTHUR AND MARIAN WHO?
(laughing)
- FIRST JOKE GIFTS AND NOW THIS.
(laughing)
- COME IN.
- I HOPE WE'RE NOT INTRUDING
BUT WE JUST COULDN'T
LET YOU LEAVE
WITHOUT PLAYING THAT
MUSIC BOX FOR YOU.
- OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE I
WAS AFRAID TO TOUCH IT.
- IT'S A CHARMING LITTLE THING.
WINNIE LOVED THIS TOO.
LISTEN.
(music box playing "99
Bottles of Beer on The Wall")
(theme music playing)
- MEOW!