Newhart (1982–1990): Season 3, Episode 21 - The Prodigal Darryl - full transcript
[FOOTSTEPS]
WELL, YOUR BATHROOM
NOW HAS A SHOWER MASSAGE.
OH, THANK YOU, GEORGE.
GEE, THAT TOOK QUITE A WHILE.
I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO DIFFICULT.
WELL, IT WASN'T HARD TO INSTALL.
IT'S KIND OF HARD TO WALK
AWAY FROM THE TRIAL RUN.
HI, EVERYBODY. I'M
BACK FROM MY BIKE RIDE.
THANKS AGAIN FOR
COMING TO GET ME, DICK.
OKAY. UH, BUT NEXT TIME
YOU GO ON A BIKE RIDE,
COULD YOU PLAN
IT AS A ROUND-TRIP?
IF I HAD RIDDEN BACK, I
WOULD'VE COME HOME FLUSHED.
WELL, THANK GOD I GOT YOU
BEFORE YOU DID ANYTHING FOOLISH.
HI, GEORGE. HI, HONEY.
WHAT'S... WHAT'S THE CAMERA FOR?
WELL, WHILE IT'S ON MY MIND,
I REALLY WANNA GET A
CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE.
IN MAY?
YEAH. ISN'T THAT
CUTTING IT KIND OF CLOSE?
WELL, EVERY YEAR, I WAIT TILL THE
LAST MINUTE, AND THEN IT'S TOO LATE.
IT'S ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME.
OH, COME ON,
HONEY. IT'LL BE FUN.
I'LL PUT A WREATH AND SOME
STOCKINGS ON THE MANTEL,
AND WE'LL ALL BUNDLE
UP IN WARM CLOTHES.
WE'LL GATHER AROUND
A ROARING FIRE.
YEAH, AND THEN WE'LL ALL FALL
OVER FROM HEAT PROSTRATION.
AND WE'LL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL,
PERSONALIZED CHRISTMAS CARD.
JOANNA, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
WEAR WOOL OUT OF SEASON?
YEAH. COME ON, JOANNA.
WELL, IT SOUNDS GREAT TO ME.
I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL
THE CHESTNUTS ROASTING.
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW
PEOPLE COULD EAT THOSE THINGS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HONEY?
OKAY, BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH
THE DECORATIONS,
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
TO CHANGE CLOTHES,
AND I DON'T WANT TO
SMILE IF I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND OUR SANTA.
HI.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
I'M LARRY. THIS IS
MY BROTHER DARRYL,
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
HI, GUYS.
YOU ARE ALL INVITED
OVER TO OUR PLACE
TO HELP CELEBRATE THE
MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT
IN OUR ADULTHOOD.
WHAT... WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WE'RE RICH.
WHERE DID YOU GET
ALL THAT MONEY?
WON IT IN A NATIONWIDE
JINGLE CONTEST.
YOU WROTE A JINGLE?
WELL, NOT ME.
DARRYL HERE IS THE TUNESMITH,
AND DARRYL HERE
IS THE WORDSMITH.
WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO, LARRY?
I'M THE ONE THAT SAID
IT SHOULD BE REGGAE.
IT'S A TEAM EFFORT.
I SPARK DARRYL, AND
DARRYL SPARKS ME.
DARRYL SPARKS DARRYL,
AND DARRYL SPARKS DARRYL.
DARRYL SPARKS ME,
I SPARK... O-O-OKAY.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR OUR
AWARD-WINNING COMPOSITION?
FEEL FREE TO DANCE AND GO CRAZY.
ONE, TWO. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
♪ POPPITY POP POPPY,
POPPITY POP POPPY ♪ ♪♪
♪ LOOK AT THAT POPCORN POP ♪
♪ POPPITY POP POPPY,
POPPITY POP POPPY ♪
♪ BIG AND FIRM AND HOT ♪
♪ CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCHY,
CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCHY ♪
♪ STUFF IT DOWN YOUR FACE ♪
♪ SWALLOW, SWALLOW, SWALLOW ♪
♪ SWALLOW, SWALLOW, SWALLOW ♪
♪ WOW, IT'S THE BEST TASTE
ANYWHERE ♪ ♪♪ [STOPS]
♪ ANYPLACE ♪
♪♪ [RESUMES]
HOW... HOW MUCH DID...
DID YOU WIN FOR THAT?
$30,000.
AND... AND THEY...
THEY SAY LIFE ISN'T FAIR.
WELL, WAY TO GO, GUYS. WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY?
WE AIN'T DECIDED
YET. BUT DON'T WORRY.
WE AIN'T GONNA LET
IT GO TO OUR HEADS.
ALL THIS MONEY AIN'T
GONNA CHANGE US ONE IOTA.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
COME IN.
HI. I'M LARRY. THIS
IS MY BROTHER DA...
YEAH, I'VE HAD THE
PLEASURE, GUYS.
MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US.
WE'VE BEEN HAVING A FISCAL
RUCKUS OVER OUR WINNINGS.
SO FAR, THE ONLY THING
WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO AGREE ON
IS TO BUY THESE CHAPEAUX.
WELL, I... I CAN SEE WHY
THAT WOULD BE UNANIMOUS.
UH, WH-WHAT ARE
YOU ARGUING ABOUT?
WELL, DARRYL THINKS WE
SHOULD BURY THE MONEY,
AND DARRYL THINKS WE
SHOULD MOVE TO KANSAS CITY.
HE HEARD THEY GOT SOME
CRAZY LITTLE WOMEN THERE.
WELL, THAT, UH, KANSAS
CITY IDEA HAS MERIT.
BUT YOU PROBABLY
SHOULD PUT IT IN A BANK.
YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE
SAFE, AND IT WOULD, UH...
IT WOULD GET YOU ABOUT
TEN PERCENT INTEREST.
YOUR MONEY WOULD
EARN ABOUT $3,000 A YEAR.
HOLD ON.
THEY'RE GONNA STASH
OUR MONEY FOR US,
AND PAY US TOO?
RIGHT.
THAT'S JUST WEIRD.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE
COULD TRUST OUR FUNDS
WITH SOMEBODY EXERCISING
THAT KIND OF JUDGMENT.
WELL, THERE ARE,
UH, BONDS, STOCKS, SECURITIES.
FREE MONEY WITH THOSE TOO?
YEAH.
UH, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT YOU COULD DO.
YOU COULD, UH,
SPEND A LITTLE OF IT
TO KIND OF IMPROVE THE
QUALITY OF YOUR LIVES.
WE ALREADY GOT THE HATS.
HI, DICK. OH, MY GOODNESS.
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
HEARD THE NEWS, FELLAS.
CONGRATS TIMES THREE.
WELL, THANK YOU CUBED.
MAY I PUT A BUG IN YOUR EAR?
SURE.
MICHAEL HARRIS PRODUCTIONS.
TV PILOTS ARE ONE OF YOUR
TOP INVESTMENT VALUES.
IF THIS TAKES OFF
THE WAY I THINK IT WILL,
YOU'LL BE EARNING 20,
MAYBE 30 PERCENT INTEREST.
FREE MONEY? BUSHELS OF IT.
COME ON, DARRYL.
IT'S A SAD DAY WHEN TV PEOPLE
ARE NO MORE
RELIABLE THAN A BANK.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IS THIS A BEAUTY, OR WHAT?
GEORGE, WHAT ON EARTH!
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I WASN'T REALLY PLANNING
ON HAVING A TREE.
OH. THEN SURPRISE.
GEE, GEORGE, I DON'T KNOW.
DICK ISN'T TOO KEEN ON
THIS PHOTOGRAPH AS IT IS.
JOANNA, IT WOULDN'T BE
CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TREE.
IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS.
SURE BEGINNING TO
LOOK A LOT LIKE IT.
WELL, I... OH, JOANNA, COME ON.
DON'T BE A SCROOGE.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
STEPHANIE, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
INTERESTED IN A CHRISTMAS PICTURE.
A PERSON CAN CHANGE.
A PERSON CAN GET CAUGHT
UP IN THE SPIRIT OF THINGS.
A PERSON CAN NOTICE A
CHANCE TO GET PRESENTS.
OKAY. WHAT'S CHRISTMAS
WITHOUT A TREE?
OH, GOOD.
WHO'S, UH... WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?
ISN'T IT A GREAT TREE, DICK?
BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S, HUH?
YEAH, THERE'S ALWAYS A
BETTER SELECTION IN THE SPRING.
OH, HONEY, DON'T WORRY.
IT'S NOT GONNA BE HERE LONG.
WE'LL TAKE THE PICTURE FRIDAY,
AND WE'LL CLEAR EVERYTHING OUT.
OKAY, BUT IF I SEE
LIVESTOCK OR SHEPHERDS
IN THE INN, WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE WORDS.
HI. I'M LARRY,
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
HI, GUYS.
WHERE... WHERE'S
YOUR BROTHER DARRYL?
LAST NIGHT, WE HAD A BIG
ALTERCATION ABOUT THE MONEY.
THIS MORNING WHEN WE
GOT UP, DARRYL WAS GONE,
AND SO WAS HIS
THIRD OF THE WINNINGS.
WE'RE THINKING IT'S
MORE THAN COINCIDENCE.
OH, NO.
YEP. IN ONE FELL SWOOP,
WE LOST A BROTHER
AND A LYRICIST.
♪♪ [LIGHT INSTRUMENTAL]
[MAN] WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE EASY LISTENING
AFTER THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE.
[CHORUS] ♪ POPPITY POP
POPPY, POPPITY POP POPPY ♪
♪ LOOK AT THAT POPCORN POP ♪
♪ POPPITY POP POPPY,
POPPITY POP POPPY ♪
♪ BIG AND FIRM AND HOT ♪
♪♪ [STOPS]
WE'RE JUST BEING MOCKED
BY OUR OWN SUCCESS.
OH. WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DARRYL.
NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY
PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AREN'T HIM.
YEAH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED
BY THE STATISTICS.
THIS IS, UH,
CONSTABLE SHIFFLETT.
HEY.
YEAH, I...
TH-THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE
ABLE TO HELP YOU FIND DARRYL.
I HOPE SO.
IT'S LONELY WITHOUT HIM.
NOW WE KNOW HOW
THE SUPREMES FELT
WHEN DIANA ROSS LEFT.
STRANGE HOW IT'S
THE LITTLE THINGS
THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMEBODY.
I CAN'T LOOK AT THE GREASE SPOT ON
HIS PILLOW WITHOUT THINKING OF DARRYL.
WELL, THAT'S NOT ONE
OF THE LITTLE THINGS,
BUT YOU TAKE MY MEANING?
DID YOU CHECK HIS
USUAL HANGOUTS?
YEAH. HE AIN'T HERE.
OKAY. WHAT ABOUT A DESCRIPTION?
WELL, THE CLOTHES HE WAS WEARING
ARE KIND OF LIKE
DARRYL'S HERE...
LOOSE FITTING BUT COMPLEMENTARY.
UH, "HE'S GOT STRAIGHT,
SKUNK-BACK HAIR,
PENETRATING EYES,
STURDY BUILD"...
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
WHEN THEY WERE
PASSING OUT LOOKS,
HE WAS THE FIRST IN LINE.
THAT'S WHY HE'S
CALLED "THE FACE."
HE... HE IS?
THE FACE. CHECK.
"HIS FAVORITE MOVIE IS
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.
TURN-ONS INCLUDE"...
UH, LARRY, I...
I DON'T THINK THE... THE
CONSTABLE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT.
THE MORE I KNOW, THE EASIER
IT'LL BE TO FIND HIM. GO AHEAD.
"TURN-ONS INCLUDE
WALKING THROUGH MUD
"AND THE LETTER Y.
"TURN-OFFS ARE
SOAKING DIRTY PANS,
ANYTHING WITH THREE
LEGS AND BERMUDA SHORTS."
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE IF
I FIND HIM, I'LL LIKE HIM.
THIS TREE IS SO BEAUTIFUL,
WHEN WE'RE DONE, I
WANNA GET A PICTURE.
THAT WAS THE IDEA, GEORGE.
OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
[SIGHS]
WHOO-WHEE, WHAT A SCORCHER.
[CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
HI. WE'RE THE...
DUNCANS.
SEASON'S GREETINGS.
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS.
IT'S JUST AN
INCREDIBLE SIMULATION.
WE'RE GETTING READY TO TAKE
A CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE.
OH. HERE, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE CHRISTMAS IN
VERMONT, IN THE SPRING.
HEY, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT
WE SHOULD HAVE OUR OWN CHRISTMAS CARD.
SAY, YOU MIND IF WE, UH,
BORROW YOUR BACKGROUND?
OF COURSE.
AND IF IT'S NOT ASKING TOO MUCH,
COULD WE MAYBE HELP
YOU DECORATE THE TREE?
SURE, IF YOU DON'T MIND
WORKING UP A SWEAT.
THANKS.
WE'LL UNPACK, AND
WE'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.
IT'S ROOM 7. THANKS.
SEE, DICK? EVEN THEY'RE
INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
OR CRAZY WITH THE HEAT.
[GASPS] MICHAEL!
ARE THOSE ALL FOR ME?
THERE'S MORE OUT
IN THE CAR. [SQUEALS]
MICHAEL, ALL WE NEEDED
WAS WRAPPED, EMPTY BOXES.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
BRING ACTUAL PRESENTS.
YES, I DID.
JOANNA, YOU CAN
TELL IN THE PICTURE
IF THE BOXES ARE EMPTY.
DON'T WORRY. STEPHANIE'S
NOT THE ONLY ONE
TAKING A LITTLE ADVANTAGE.
[LAUGHING]
HI. I'M LARRY.
WE THINK THIS IS
MY BROTHER DARRYL.
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
WELL, LET'S...
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
SEE? DON'T THAT LOOK
LIKE HIM RIGHT THERE?
YOU... YOU MEAN THE GUY
DANCING WITH THE FIRST LADY?
I... I... I DON'T THINK SO.
WHY NOT?
JUST CALL IT INSTINCT.
OH.
SORRY TO BE SUCH A DOWNER
ON CHRISTMAS CARD EVE.
YOU GUYS WEREN'T OVER AT
THE CAFé, SO I TRACKED YOU HERE.
I THINK I MAY HAVE
A LEAD ON THE FACE.
TWO OFFICERS UP IN STOWE
ANSWERED A DISTURBING
THE PEACE CALL LAST NIGHT.
FROM THE DESCRIPTION,
SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE OUR BOY.
HERE'S THE ADDRESS.
THANKS A BUNCH.
WILL YOU GO WITH US?
WH-WHAT FOR?
WE AIN'T GOT A CAR.
WE COULD LEND YOU OUR CAR.
I'LL... I'LL GO WITH YOU.
WELL, I'D BETTER GET BACK TO
H.Q. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
[RECORD SKIPPING]
WHOA.
THE DECLINE OF
WESTERN CIVILIZATION.
THIS IS, UH, THE KIND OF PLACE
YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT
GONNA MEET AN OSMOND.
HEY. NEW BLOOD.
IF THIS IS DARRYL'S PLACE,
HE'S FALLEN IN WITH
SOME REAL OFFBEATS.
FOOD'S OVER THERE.
BAR'S STOCKED.
GO FOR IT.
[RECORD STOPS SKIPPING]
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
MY BROTHER, DARRYL.
DARRYL? OH, YOU MEAN FACE.
HEY, FACE!
WE'RE GONNA MIX ALL THE DRINKS
TOGETHER AND CHUGALUG IT,
NO MATTER WHAT COLOR
IT IS OR HOW IT SMELLS.
YOU GUYS WANNA JOIN US?
EXCUSE US. WOULD
YOU FELLAS GO NOW?
WHY? 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
DARRYL AND I ARE
GONNA MIX YOU TOGETHER,
NO MATTER WHAT COLOR YOU
COME OUT OR HOW YOU SMELL.
OH.
COME ON. LET'S GO SPIT
OFF THE ROOF AND TIME IT.
♪♪ [ELECTRONIC]
♪♪ [CONTINUES]
♪♪ [STOPS]
DARRYL, IS THAT YOU IN
THEM HIGH-HEELED SNEAKERS?
BLUE SUEDE SHOES.
DARRYL, YOU'RE ALL
FACE AND NO BRAINS.
I'LL STEP ON THEM
BLUE SUEDE SHOES.
COME ON. COME ON, GUYS.
COME ON. BREAK IT UP.
DARRYL, I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
LOOK AT ALL THIS WANTON WASTE.
A BLOCK OF ICE THAT
AIN'T COOLING A THING,
FOOD YOU'D FIND IN
A SISSY'S LUNCH BOX.
COME HERE.
YOU KNOW DARN WELL
CHAMPAGNE LOSES ITS FIZZ
IN ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
DARRYL, YOU GOT
CAVIAR IN YOUR EARS?
I GIVE UP. DARRYL,
YOU TALK TO HIM.
DARRYL! DARRYL!
THEM'S THE IMPLEMENTS
OF SEDUCTION.
I CAN'T TALK TO HIM.
LARRY, IF... IF YOU
DON'T TALK TO HIM...
WOULD YOU TRY?
I'M MAD ENOUGH TO STOMP BUNNIES.
DARRYL, THE... THE
REASON WE'RE HERE
IS BECAUSE YOUR... YOUR BROTHER
REALLY WANTS YOU TO COME BACK...
[CRACKLING]
WHAT... WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?
[CRACKLING CONTINUES]
DOES EVERYBODY HERE HAVE A
STREAK OF DECADENCE BUT ME?
[WHIRRING, BEEPING]
UH, DARRYL...
I... I KNOW THAT ALL OF THIS
[WHIRRING, BEEPING STOPS]
SEEMS LIKE FUN NOW, BUT...
I MEAN, IS THIS THE WAY
YOU... YOU WANNA SPEND
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
IT'S BEEN FUN, FACE. CALL ME?
I CAN'T TALK TO HIM.
DARRYL...
DARRYL, GET YOUR
STUFF AND COME WITH US,
AND ALL WILL BE FORGOT.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU THROW
AWAY ALL YOUR MONEY.
DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR FAMILY.
DARRYL... DARRYL,
REMEMBER YOUR FAVORITE
MOVIE, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE?
REMEMBER WHAT IT HAD TO SAY?
MONEY DON'T MAKE YOU
WEALTHY, BROTHERS DO.
OR WAS THAT BONANZA?
ANYWAY, IT'S TRUE.
ARE YOU COMING?
♪♪ [ELECTRONIC]
FINE. EASE ON DOWN
THE ROAD TO RUIN.
COME ON. LET'S GIT. DARRYL! NOW.
♪♪ [CONTINUES]
[ALL] ♪ TROLL THE
ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL ♪
♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
[BOTH SIGH]
I WISH WE'D BROUGHT
WARM CLOTHES.
NO, YOU DON'T.
WHEN DO I GET TO
OPEN MY PRESENTS?
NOT TILL WE TAKE THE PICTURE, AND
WE CAN'T DO THAT TILL DICK GETS BACK.
COULDN'T WE
AIRBRUSH HIM IN LATER?
CUPCAKE, WILL THE MISTLETOE
TAKE YOUR MIND OFF THE PRESENTS?
NO.
SHALL WE SING ANOTHER SONG?
♪ JINGLE BELLS ♪
♪ JINGLE BELLS ♪
♪ JINGLE ALL THE WAY ♪
♪ OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE ♪
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE
OPEN SLEIGH, HEY ♪
♪ JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS ♪
♪ JINGLE ALL THE WAY ♪
♪ OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A
ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH ♪ HELLO.
CONSTABLE, IS
ANYTHING THE MATTER?
UH, NO. AH, IT'S JUST... ♪
DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW ♪
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH ♪
WELL, MY FAMILY'S OUT OF TOWN.
♪ O'ER THE FIELDS WE GO ♪
♪♪ [CONTINUES]
GETS KIND OF LONELY
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
LEMONADE? NO EGGNOG?
♪ JINGLE BELLS,
JINGLE BELLS ♪ SORRY.
NO, THANKS. JUST WON'T BE
CHRISTMAS WITHOUT EGGNOG.
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE
OPEN SLEIGH, HEY ♪
WELL, WE'RE BACK.
OH, GOOD! HE'S HERE!
WE COULDN'T GET
HIM TO COME BACK.
IS DARRYL ALL RIGHT?
WELL, HE'S FLYING
HEADLONG TO PERDITION
ON THE ROAD OF
HEDONISTIC DECADENCE.
OTHER... OTHER THAN
THAT, HE'S... HE'S FINE.
I'M SORRY, GUYS.
YEAH, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO
GO THROUGH THE REST OF OUR LIFE
A DAY LATE AND A DARRYL SHORT.
BUT DON'T LET US HOSE
DOWN YOUR HOLIDAY SPIRIT.
JUST GO ON WITH YOUR SINGING.
IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL
YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR?
HAVE YOU SANG "AULD LANG SYNE"?
NOT SINCE I GOT HERE.
♪ SHOULD OLD
ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT ♪
♪ AND NEVER BROUGHT TO MIND ♪
♪ SHOULD AULD
ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT ♪
♪ AND DAYS OF AULD LANG SYNE ♪
♪ FOR AULD LANG... ♪
♪♪
NO. IT CAN'T BE.
DARRYL! OH, DARRYL!
HE CAME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.
DARRYL!
I'M MISTING UP HERE.
NO. THAT'S YOURS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
ALLOW ME. HI.
I'M LARRY. THIS IS
MY BROTHER DARRYL,
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
[CHEERING]
TIME FOR THE PICTURES. OH, OKAY!
GUYS, DO YOU WANNA JOIN US?
HERE, HONEY. PUT THIS ON.
HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SET ME ON FIRE?
OKAY, EVERYBODY GET INTO PLACE.
I'M GONNA FOCUS THIS HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, EVERYBODY. WATCH
THE BIRDIE. ALL RIGHT. YEAH.
WELL, DARRYL,
YOU BLEW $5,000 IN THREE DAYS.
I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.
MEOW.
WELL, YOUR BATHROOM
NOW HAS A SHOWER MASSAGE.
OH, THANK YOU, GEORGE.
GEE, THAT TOOK QUITE A WHILE.
I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO DIFFICULT.
WELL, IT WASN'T HARD TO INSTALL.
IT'S KIND OF HARD TO WALK
AWAY FROM THE TRIAL RUN.
HI, EVERYBODY. I'M
BACK FROM MY BIKE RIDE.
THANKS AGAIN FOR
COMING TO GET ME, DICK.
OKAY. UH, BUT NEXT TIME
YOU GO ON A BIKE RIDE,
COULD YOU PLAN
IT AS A ROUND-TRIP?
IF I HAD RIDDEN BACK, I
WOULD'VE COME HOME FLUSHED.
WELL, THANK GOD I GOT YOU
BEFORE YOU DID ANYTHING FOOLISH.
HI, GEORGE. HI, HONEY.
WHAT'S... WHAT'S THE CAMERA FOR?
WELL, WHILE IT'S ON MY MIND,
I REALLY WANNA GET A
CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE.
IN MAY?
YEAH. ISN'T THAT
CUTTING IT KIND OF CLOSE?
WELL, EVERY YEAR, I WAIT TILL THE
LAST MINUTE, AND THEN IT'S TOO LATE.
IT'S ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME.
OH, COME ON,
HONEY. IT'LL BE FUN.
I'LL PUT A WREATH AND SOME
STOCKINGS ON THE MANTEL,
AND WE'LL ALL BUNDLE
UP IN WARM CLOTHES.
WE'LL GATHER AROUND
A ROARING FIRE.
YEAH, AND THEN WE'LL ALL FALL
OVER FROM HEAT PROSTRATION.
AND WE'LL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL,
PERSONALIZED CHRISTMAS CARD.
JOANNA, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
WEAR WOOL OUT OF SEASON?
YEAH. COME ON, JOANNA.
WELL, IT SOUNDS GREAT TO ME.
I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL
THE CHESTNUTS ROASTING.
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW
PEOPLE COULD EAT THOSE THINGS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HONEY?
OKAY, BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH
THE DECORATIONS,
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE
TO CHANGE CLOTHES,
AND I DON'T WANT TO
SMILE IF I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
LOOKS LIKE WE FOUND OUR SANTA.
HI.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
I'M LARRY. THIS IS
MY BROTHER DARRYL,
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
HI, GUYS.
YOU ARE ALL INVITED
OVER TO OUR PLACE
TO HELP CELEBRATE THE
MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT
IN OUR ADULTHOOD.
WHAT... WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WE'RE RICH.
WHERE DID YOU GET
ALL THAT MONEY?
WON IT IN A NATIONWIDE
JINGLE CONTEST.
YOU WROTE A JINGLE?
WELL, NOT ME.
DARRYL HERE IS THE TUNESMITH,
AND DARRYL HERE
IS THE WORDSMITH.
WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO, LARRY?
I'M THE ONE THAT SAID
IT SHOULD BE REGGAE.
IT'S A TEAM EFFORT.
I SPARK DARRYL, AND
DARRYL SPARKS ME.
DARRYL SPARKS DARRYL,
AND DARRYL SPARKS DARRYL.
DARRYL SPARKS ME,
I SPARK... O-O-OKAY.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR OUR
AWARD-WINNING COMPOSITION?
FEEL FREE TO DANCE AND GO CRAZY.
ONE, TWO. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
♪ POPPITY POP POPPY,
POPPITY POP POPPY ♪ ♪♪
♪ LOOK AT THAT POPCORN POP ♪
♪ POPPITY POP POPPY,
POPPITY POP POPPY ♪
♪ BIG AND FIRM AND HOT ♪
♪ CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCHY,
CRUNCHITY CRUNCH CRUNCHY ♪
♪ STUFF IT DOWN YOUR FACE ♪
♪ SWALLOW, SWALLOW, SWALLOW ♪
♪ SWALLOW, SWALLOW, SWALLOW ♪
♪ WOW, IT'S THE BEST TASTE
ANYWHERE ♪ ♪♪ [STOPS]
♪ ANYPLACE ♪
♪♪ [RESUMES]
HOW... HOW MUCH DID...
DID YOU WIN FOR THAT?
$30,000.
AND... AND THEY...
THEY SAY LIFE ISN'T FAIR.
WELL, WAY TO GO, GUYS. WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY?
WE AIN'T DECIDED
YET. BUT DON'T WORRY.
WE AIN'T GONNA LET
IT GO TO OUR HEADS.
ALL THIS MONEY AIN'T
GONNA CHANGE US ONE IOTA.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
COME IN.
HI. I'M LARRY. THIS
IS MY BROTHER DA...
YEAH, I'VE HAD THE
PLEASURE, GUYS.
MAYBE YOU COULD HELP US.
WE'VE BEEN HAVING A FISCAL
RUCKUS OVER OUR WINNINGS.
SO FAR, THE ONLY THING
WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO AGREE ON
IS TO BUY THESE CHAPEAUX.
WELL, I... I CAN SEE WHY
THAT WOULD BE UNANIMOUS.
UH, WH-WHAT ARE
YOU ARGUING ABOUT?
WELL, DARRYL THINKS WE
SHOULD BURY THE MONEY,
AND DARRYL THINKS WE
SHOULD MOVE TO KANSAS CITY.
HE HEARD THEY GOT SOME
CRAZY LITTLE WOMEN THERE.
WELL, THAT, UH, KANSAS
CITY IDEA HAS MERIT.
BUT YOU PROBABLY
SHOULD PUT IT IN A BANK.
YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE
SAFE, AND IT WOULD, UH...
IT WOULD GET YOU ABOUT
TEN PERCENT INTEREST.
YOUR MONEY WOULD
EARN ABOUT $3,000 A YEAR.
HOLD ON.
THEY'RE GONNA STASH
OUR MONEY FOR US,
AND PAY US TOO?
RIGHT.
THAT'S JUST WEIRD.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE
COULD TRUST OUR FUNDS
WITH SOMEBODY EXERCISING
THAT KIND OF JUDGMENT.
WELL, THERE ARE,
UH, BONDS, STOCKS, SECURITIES.
FREE MONEY WITH THOSE TOO?
YEAH.
UH, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT YOU COULD DO.
YOU COULD, UH,
SPEND A LITTLE OF IT
TO KIND OF IMPROVE THE
QUALITY OF YOUR LIVES.
WE ALREADY GOT THE HATS.
HI, DICK. OH, MY GOODNESS.
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
HEARD THE NEWS, FELLAS.
CONGRATS TIMES THREE.
WELL, THANK YOU CUBED.
MAY I PUT A BUG IN YOUR EAR?
SURE.
MICHAEL HARRIS PRODUCTIONS.
TV PILOTS ARE ONE OF YOUR
TOP INVESTMENT VALUES.
IF THIS TAKES OFF
THE WAY I THINK IT WILL,
YOU'LL BE EARNING 20,
MAYBE 30 PERCENT INTEREST.
FREE MONEY? BUSHELS OF IT.
COME ON, DARRYL.
IT'S A SAD DAY WHEN TV PEOPLE
ARE NO MORE
RELIABLE THAN A BANK.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IS THIS A BEAUTY, OR WHAT?
GEORGE, WHAT ON EARTH!
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I WASN'T REALLY PLANNING
ON HAVING A TREE.
OH. THEN SURPRISE.
GEE, GEORGE, I DON'T KNOW.
DICK ISN'T TOO KEEN ON
THIS PHOTOGRAPH AS IT IS.
JOANNA, IT WOULDN'T BE
CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TREE.
IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS.
SURE BEGINNING TO
LOOK A LOT LIKE IT.
WELL, I... OH, JOANNA, COME ON.
DON'T BE A SCROOGE.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
STEPHANIE, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T
INTERESTED IN A CHRISTMAS PICTURE.
A PERSON CAN CHANGE.
A PERSON CAN GET CAUGHT
UP IN THE SPIRIT OF THINGS.
A PERSON CAN NOTICE A
CHANCE TO GET PRESENTS.
OKAY. WHAT'S CHRISTMAS
WITHOUT A TREE?
OH, GOOD.
WHO'S, UH... WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?
ISN'T IT A GREAT TREE, DICK?
BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S, HUH?
YEAH, THERE'S ALWAYS A
BETTER SELECTION IN THE SPRING.
OH, HONEY, DON'T WORRY.
IT'S NOT GONNA BE HERE LONG.
WE'LL TAKE THE PICTURE FRIDAY,
AND WE'LL CLEAR EVERYTHING OUT.
OKAY, BUT IF I SEE
LIVESTOCK OR SHEPHERDS
IN THE INN, WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE WORDS.
HI. I'M LARRY,
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
HI, GUYS.
WHERE... WHERE'S
YOUR BROTHER DARRYL?
LAST NIGHT, WE HAD A BIG
ALTERCATION ABOUT THE MONEY.
THIS MORNING WHEN WE
GOT UP, DARRYL WAS GONE,
AND SO WAS HIS
THIRD OF THE WINNINGS.
WE'RE THINKING IT'S
MORE THAN COINCIDENCE.
OH, NO.
YEP. IN ONE FELL SWOOP,
WE LOST A BROTHER
AND A LYRICIST.
♪♪ [LIGHT INSTRUMENTAL]
[MAN] WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE EASY LISTENING
AFTER THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE.
[CHORUS] ♪ POPPITY POP
POPPY, POPPITY POP POPPY ♪
♪ LOOK AT THAT POPCORN POP ♪
♪ POPPITY POP POPPY,
POPPITY POP POPPY ♪
♪ BIG AND FIRM AND HOT ♪
♪♪ [STOPS]
WE'RE JUST BEING MOCKED
BY OUR OWN SUCCESS.
OH. WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DARRYL.
NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY
PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AREN'T HIM.
YEAH, YOU'D BE SURPRISED
BY THE STATISTICS.
THIS IS, UH,
CONSTABLE SHIFFLETT.
HEY.
YEAH, I...
TH-THOUGHT HE MIGHT BE
ABLE TO HELP YOU FIND DARRYL.
I HOPE SO.
IT'S LONELY WITHOUT HIM.
NOW WE KNOW HOW
THE SUPREMES FELT
WHEN DIANA ROSS LEFT.
STRANGE HOW IT'S
THE LITTLE THINGS
THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMEBODY.
I CAN'T LOOK AT THE GREASE SPOT ON
HIS PILLOW WITHOUT THINKING OF DARRYL.
WELL, THAT'S NOT ONE
OF THE LITTLE THINGS,
BUT YOU TAKE MY MEANING?
DID YOU CHECK HIS
USUAL HANGOUTS?
YEAH. HE AIN'T HERE.
OKAY. WHAT ABOUT A DESCRIPTION?
WELL, THE CLOTHES HE WAS WEARING
ARE KIND OF LIKE
DARRYL'S HERE...
LOOSE FITTING BUT COMPLEMENTARY.
UH, "HE'S GOT STRAIGHT,
SKUNK-BACK HAIR,
PENETRATING EYES,
STURDY BUILD"...
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
WHEN THEY WERE
PASSING OUT LOOKS,
HE WAS THE FIRST IN LINE.
THAT'S WHY HE'S
CALLED "THE FACE."
HE... HE IS?
THE FACE. CHECK.
"HIS FAVORITE MOVIE IS
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.
TURN-ONS INCLUDE"...
UH, LARRY, I...
I DON'T THINK THE... THE
CONSTABLE NEEDS TO HEAR THAT.
THE MORE I KNOW, THE EASIER
IT'LL BE TO FIND HIM. GO AHEAD.
"TURN-ONS INCLUDE
WALKING THROUGH MUD
"AND THE LETTER Y.
"TURN-OFFS ARE
SOAKING DIRTY PANS,
ANYTHING WITH THREE
LEGS AND BERMUDA SHORTS."
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE IF
I FIND HIM, I'LL LIKE HIM.
THIS TREE IS SO BEAUTIFUL,
WHEN WE'RE DONE, I
WANNA GET A PICTURE.
THAT WAS THE IDEA, GEORGE.
OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
[SIGHS]
WHOO-WHEE, WHAT A SCORCHER.
[CHUCKLES, SIGHS]
HI. WE'RE THE...
DUNCANS.
SEASON'S GREETINGS.
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
DON'T WORRY. IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS.
IT'S JUST AN
INCREDIBLE SIMULATION.
WE'RE GETTING READY TO TAKE
A CHRISTMAS CARD PICTURE.
OH. HERE, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE CHRISTMAS IN
VERMONT, IN THE SPRING.
HEY, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT
WE SHOULD HAVE OUR OWN CHRISTMAS CARD.
SAY, YOU MIND IF WE, UH,
BORROW YOUR BACKGROUND?
OF COURSE.
AND IF IT'S NOT ASKING TOO MUCH,
COULD WE MAYBE HELP
YOU DECORATE THE TREE?
SURE, IF YOU DON'T MIND
WORKING UP A SWEAT.
THANKS.
WE'LL UNPACK, AND
WE'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.
IT'S ROOM 7. THANKS.
SEE, DICK? EVEN THEY'RE
INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
OR CRAZY WITH THE HEAT.
[GASPS] MICHAEL!
ARE THOSE ALL FOR ME?
THERE'S MORE OUT
IN THE CAR. [SQUEALS]
MICHAEL, ALL WE NEEDED
WAS WRAPPED, EMPTY BOXES.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
BRING ACTUAL PRESENTS.
YES, I DID.
JOANNA, YOU CAN
TELL IN THE PICTURE
IF THE BOXES ARE EMPTY.
DON'T WORRY. STEPHANIE'S
NOT THE ONLY ONE
TAKING A LITTLE ADVANTAGE.
[LAUGHING]
HI. I'M LARRY.
WE THINK THIS IS
MY BROTHER DARRYL.
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
WELL, LET'S...
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
SEE? DON'T THAT LOOK
LIKE HIM RIGHT THERE?
YOU... YOU MEAN THE GUY
DANCING WITH THE FIRST LADY?
I... I... I DON'T THINK SO.
WHY NOT?
JUST CALL IT INSTINCT.
OH.
SORRY TO BE SUCH A DOWNER
ON CHRISTMAS CARD EVE.
YOU GUYS WEREN'T OVER AT
THE CAFé, SO I TRACKED YOU HERE.
I THINK I MAY HAVE
A LEAD ON THE FACE.
TWO OFFICERS UP IN STOWE
ANSWERED A DISTURBING
THE PEACE CALL LAST NIGHT.
FROM THE DESCRIPTION,
SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE OUR BOY.
HERE'S THE ADDRESS.
THANKS A BUNCH.
WILL YOU GO WITH US?
WH-WHAT FOR?
WE AIN'T GOT A CAR.
WE COULD LEND YOU OUR CAR.
I'LL... I'LL GO WITH YOU.
WELL, I'D BETTER GET BACK TO
H.Q. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
[RECORD SKIPPING]
WHOA.
THE DECLINE OF
WESTERN CIVILIZATION.
THIS IS, UH, THE KIND OF PLACE
YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT
GONNA MEET AN OSMOND.
HEY. NEW BLOOD.
IF THIS IS DARRYL'S PLACE,
HE'S FALLEN IN WITH
SOME REAL OFFBEATS.
FOOD'S OVER THERE.
BAR'S STOCKED.
GO FOR IT.
[RECORD STOPS SKIPPING]
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
MY BROTHER, DARRYL.
DARRYL? OH, YOU MEAN FACE.
HEY, FACE!
WE'RE GONNA MIX ALL THE DRINKS
TOGETHER AND CHUGALUG IT,
NO MATTER WHAT COLOR
IT IS OR HOW IT SMELLS.
YOU GUYS WANNA JOIN US?
EXCUSE US. WOULD
YOU FELLAS GO NOW?
WHY? 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T,
DARRYL AND I ARE
GONNA MIX YOU TOGETHER,
NO MATTER WHAT COLOR YOU
COME OUT OR HOW YOU SMELL.
OH.
COME ON. LET'S GO SPIT
OFF THE ROOF AND TIME IT.
♪♪ [ELECTRONIC]
♪♪ [CONTINUES]
♪♪ [STOPS]
DARRYL, IS THAT YOU IN
THEM HIGH-HEELED SNEAKERS?
BLUE SUEDE SHOES.
DARRYL, YOU'RE ALL
FACE AND NO BRAINS.
I'LL STEP ON THEM
BLUE SUEDE SHOES.
COME ON. COME ON, GUYS.
COME ON. BREAK IT UP.
DARRYL, I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
LOOK AT ALL THIS WANTON WASTE.
A BLOCK OF ICE THAT
AIN'T COOLING A THING,
FOOD YOU'D FIND IN
A SISSY'S LUNCH BOX.
COME HERE.
YOU KNOW DARN WELL
CHAMPAGNE LOSES ITS FIZZ
IN ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
DARRYL, YOU GOT
CAVIAR IN YOUR EARS?
I GIVE UP. DARRYL,
YOU TALK TO HIM.
DARRYL! DARRYL!
THEM'S THE IMPLEMENTS
OF SEDUCTION.
I CAN'T TALK TO HIM.
LARRY, IF... IF YOU
DON'T TALK TO HIM...
WOULD YOU TRY?
I'M MAD ENOUGH TO STOMP BUNNIES.
DARRYL, THE... THE
REASON WE'RE HERE
IS BECAUSE YOUR... YOUR BROTHER
REALLY WANTS YOU TO COME BACK...
[CRACKLING]
WHAT... WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?
[CRACKLING CONTINUES]
DOES EVERYBODY HERE HAVE A
STREAK OF DECADENCE BUT ME?
[WHIRRING, BEEPING]
UH, DARRYL...
I... I KNOW THAT ALL OF THIS
[WHIRRING, BEEPING STOPS]
SEEMS LIKE FUN NOW, BUT...
I MEAN, IS THIS THE WAY
YOU... YOU WANNA SPEND
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
IT'S BEEN FUN, FACE. CALL ME?
I CAN'T TALK TO HIM.
DARRYL...
DARRYL, GET YOUR
STUFF AND COME WITH US,
AND ALL WILL BE FORGOT.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU THROW
AWAY ALL YOUR MONEY.
DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR FAMILY.
DARRYL... DARRYL,
REMEMBER YOUR FAVORITE
MOVIE, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE?
REMEMBER WHAT IT HAD TO SAY?
MONEY DON'T MAKE YOU
WEALTHY, BROTHERS DO.
OR WAS THAT BONANZA?
ANYWAY, IT'S TRUE.
ARE YOU COMING?
♪♪ [ELECTRONIC]
FINE. EASE ON DOWN
THE ROAD TO RUIN.
COME ON. LET'S GIT. DARRYL! NOW.
♪♪ [CONTINUES]
[ALL] ♪ TROLL THE
ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL ♪
♪ FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪
[BOTH SIGH]
I WISH WE'D BROUGHT
WARM CLOTHES.
NO, YOU DON'T.
WHEN DO I GET TO
OPEN MY PRESENTS?
NOT TILL WE TAKE THE PICTURE, AND
WE CAN'T DO THAT TILL DICK GETS BACK.
COULDN'T WE
AIRBRUSH HIM IN LATER?
CUPCAKE, WILL THE MISTLETOE
TAKE YOUR MIND OFF THE PRESENTS?
NO.
SHALL WE SING ANOTHER SONG?
♪ JINGLE BELLS ♪
♪ JINGLE BELLS ♪
♪ JINGLE ALL THE WAY ♪
♪ OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE ♪
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE
OPEN SLEIGH, HEY ♪
♪ JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS ♪
♪ JINGLE ALL THE WAY ♪
♪ OH, WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A
ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH ♪ HELLO.
CONSTABLE, IS
ANYTHING THE MATTER?
UH, NO. AH, IT'S JUST... ♪
DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW ♪
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH ♪
WELL, MY FAMILY'S OUT OF TOWN.
♪ O'ER THE FIELDS WE GO ♪
♪♪ [CONTINUES]
GETS KIND OF LONELY
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
LEMONADE? NO EGGNOG?
♪ JINGLE BELLS,
JINGLE BELLS ♪ SORRY.
NO, THANKS. JUST WON'T BE
CHRISTMAS WITHOUT EGGNOG.
♪ IN A ONE-HORSE
OPEN SLEIGH, HEY ♪
WELL, WE'RE BACK.
OH, GOOD! HE'S HERE!
WE COULDN'T GET
HIM TO COME BACK.
IS DARRYL ALL RIGHT?
WELL, HE'S FLYING
HEADLONG TO PERDITION
ON THE ROAD OF
HEDONISTIC DECADENCE.
OTHER... OTHER THAN
THAT, HE'S... HE'S FINE.
I'M SORRY, GUYS.
YEAH, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO
GO THROUGH THE REST OF OUR LIFE
A DAY LATE AND A DARRYL SHORT.
BUT DON'T LET US HOSE
DOWN YOUR HOLIDAY SPIRIT.
JUST GO ON WITH YOUR SINGING.
IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL
YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR?
HAVE YOU SANG "AULD LANG SYNE"?
NOT SINCE I GOT HERE.
♪ SHOULD OLD
ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT ♪
♪ AND NEVER BROUGHT TO MIND ♪
♪ SHOULD AULD
ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT ♪
♪ AND DAYS OF AULD LANG SYNE ♪
♪ FOR AULD LANG... ♪
♪♪
NO. IT CAN'T BE.
DARRYL! OH, DARRYL!
HE CAME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.
DARRYL!
I'M MISTING UP HERE.
NO. THAT'S YOURS.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
ALLOW ME. HI.
I'M LARRY. THIS IS
MY BROTHER DARRYL,
AND THIS IS MY OTHER
BROTHER DARRYL.
[CHEERING]
TIME FOR THE PICTURES. OH, OKAY!
GUYS, DO YOU WANNA JOIN US?
HERE, HONEY. PUT THIS ON.
HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SET ME ON FIRE?
OKAY, EVERYBODY GET INTO PLACE.
I'M GONNA FOCUS THIS HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, EVERYBODY. WATCH
THE BIRDIE. ALL RIGHT. YEAH.
WELL, DARRYL,
YOU BLEW $5,000 IN THREE DAYS.
I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.
MEOW.