Newhart (1982–1990): Season 2, Episode 13 - Curious George at the Firehouse - full transcript
George joins the volunteer fire department.
- Oh, no.
- What's the matter?
This is the third time this month
someone has written us a bad check.
From now on, I think
we should have a rule
that we're not gonna
accept personal checks.
- Okay.
- We'll take credit cards,
we'll take travelers checks.
But we're not gonna take
personal checks anymore.
- Will you back me up on this?
- I just said okay.
Well, I know you say that, honey. But
as soon as someone comes downstairs
and asks if they can write us a
personal check, you'll say sure.
No, I won't.
Just wait and see.
The next person that walks down those
stairs and wants to write a personal check,
I'll say, "Dream on, buddy."
Morning.
Coffee fresh?
- Yeah.
- Oh, great.
What are you doing?
It's not for me.
It's for my customers.
Listen, Cindy's gonna
be performing tomorrow
at a charity rummage sale.
And she asked me to ask you guys
if you wanted
to donate anything.
Oh, we'd love to. I've been wanting
to clean out Dick's closet anyway.
What about Stephanie?
I'm sure she's got a lot of
things she could give. Stephanie!
Whatee?
Could you come
out here for a second?
I guess so!
What did you want?
Kirk just told us
that Cindy's gonna
be performing at a charity
rummage sale tomorrow.
And she wanted to know
if you could donate anything.
Gee, I'd love to,
but I'm kind of broke right now.
You don't have to give money.
The idea of a rummage sale is
to give things like clothes.
Clothes?
Well, what's the matter?
Well, I don't really think I have
any clothes I wanna give away.
Stephanie, I'm sure
you could find something.
Well, I'll look.
What kind of things
do they want?
Usually,
they want practical things.
That'll take some digging.
Thanks, guys.
You know, I'm always telling
Cindy how classy you are.
This makes it look like I'm
telling the truth.
Yee-haw!
Whoopee! Yahoo!
Is that George?
It's either George or
there's a cattle drive going by.
Yahoo! Whoopee!
Guess what?
They found a cure
for being a hayseed?
The greatest thing that's ever
happened to me just happened.
I'm gonna be
a volunteer fireman.
What's all this about, George?
George, I didn't even know
you wanted to be a fireman.
Oh, I've always wanted
to be a volunteer fireman.
I've had my name
on the waiting list for years.
And today it came up.
I'm finally going to do
something
that the people in this town
aren't going to laugh at.
George, what are you talking about?
Nobody laughs at you.
Oh, yeah?
Remember all that razzing I got
last year when I said I saw a UFO?
And then they put me in charge of the
Thanksgiving Day parade and it rained?
Oh, let's face it.
Nobody in this town thinks
I can do anything right.
Well, in their defense,
I think you've given them
good reason.
Well, not anymore.
I finally found something
I can really be good at.
But isn't being
a fireman dangerous?
Not in this town. We haven't
had a fire since 1979.
But that was a big one.
Where was it?
At the fire station.
- What?
- A stack of papers
for the paper drive caught fire,
but they stopped
the paper drive,
and they haven't
had any trouble since.
Well, I'd better go
get my work done,
so I'll have the whole day
tomorrow to be at the firehouse.
It's my orientation.
Yahoo! Whoo-hoo!
I can't believe
how excited he is.
Yeah. You know, it's just the kind of
thing he needs to boost his confidence,
and I think just the kind
of thing he'll be good at.
Well, needless to say,
all of us with wood-frame
houses will be rooting for him.
Morning.
We'd like to check out now.
- Oh, fine.
- This place is beautiful.
We just can't wait
to come back again.
Thank you.
We're glad you enjoyed it.
How much do I owe you?
- Two days, that's $70.
- Mm-hmm.
Will you take a check?
- Sure.
- Sure.
Oh, hi, Joanna.
- Cindy?
- Yeah.
Oh, my gosh, I've never seen you
in your outfit before. It's adorable.
Oh, thanks. It's just a little
something I threw together.
I love it.
Oh, is this the stuff
for the rummage sale?
Yeah.
Stephanie! Cindy's here!
Coming!
How long does it take you to
look like that?
About an hour.
That's how long it takes me
to look like this.
Hi, Cindy.
Hi, Stephanie.
- Here's your stuff.
- Oh, great.
You've never seen Cindy
in her clown outfit before.
What do you think?
Oh, that's right.
You're in your outfit.
Wait a minute.
This isn't what you're giving,
is it?
Yeah. Why?
Out of all the clothes
in your closet,
the only thing you could find
to give to the poor
was a strapless evening gown?
Well, I wanted to give more.
I just couldn't find anything.
Besides, this happens
to be a very fine dress.
Just because I could never find
a pair of shoes to go with it...
Stephanie, the people we're
giving these things to
really don't go
to that many balls.
They could shorten it
and wear it for cocktails.
You know, Stephanie, if you
don't wanna give anything, it's fine.
I don't want anybody
to feel pressured.
No, that's not it.
Listen, do you think it might
pick up these poor people
if I just loaned them something?
Stephanie, maybe I can help
you find something.
Okay,
but I'm telling you right now,
I have looked and looked,
and I love everything.
Cindy, why don't you have
a seat on the sofa?
- We'll only be a minute.
- Okay.
- Hi, Dick.
- Hi.
It's Cindy.
Oh. Oh, right.
Charity rummage sale.
- Joanna know you're here?
- Yeah.
She's upstairs with Stephanie.
You know, I'm curious, Cindy.
You never told us
how you got to be a clown.
Well, with feet like this,
what else you gonna be?
Actually, it's just something
I always really wanted to do.
Did I ever tell
you I was a clown once?
- Professionally?
- No, no.
In a school fair
when I was at college.
Did you juggle
and do magic tricks?
No, I never did anything
like that.
- Well, what did you do?
- I just stood by the ticket booths.
And when people would walk in,
I'd make my pants fall down.
That sounds funny.
Yeah, but as the day wore on,
you know,
it kinda got old.
Besides, my back began to hurt.
And I wasn't pulling
up my pants as fast
as they wanted me to.
All in all,
I don't miss it much.
Well, I'm sorry, Cindy,
but, apparently,
Stephanie's right.
There's nothing in her closet
she can bear to part with.
You mean, you aren't
gonna donate anything?
Well, I know everyone
hates me, and I'm sorry.
Well, you know, Stephanie,
if you're really serious
about giving something,
you could always give your time.
- What do you mean?
- I mean
that you could come down today
and help volunteer.
And that will get me
off the hook? Great!
Here. Grab a box
and you can come with me.
- Thanks, guys.
- Don't mention it.
Listen, I've never
done anything like this before.
So if I do something wrong,
nobody's gonna yell at me, are they?
Oh, no. Of course not.
Will I have to work a cash register
or make change or anything?
No. Not if you don't
want to.
Oh, what about standing
on my feet for a long time?
I don't really like
to do that either.
- Don't you like Cindy?
- Yeah, I do.
I think she looks adorable
in that outfit.
You know, honey, maybe
someday you should tell her
about the time you were a clown.
Come on, Joanna.
I do have my pride.
Hi, guys.
George, you look wonderful.
- You think so?
- Oh, yeah.
You look like such a... fireman.
- How did the initiation go?
- Great.
I learned all kinds
of fire prevention
and safety procedures.
And then I saw a pretty gruesome
film called "Our Flaming Foe".
Then Hank, the regular fireman,
took me out for an ice cream,
and I came home.
Sounds like a great day.
Yeah. You know,
I don't mean to sound cocky.
But when I walked
down the street in this outfit,
people looked at me
a lot differently
than they ever did before.
I bet.
Oh, and guess what else?
Since they only have
one permanent fireman,
the volunteers have to take turns
spending the night at the fire station.
- And my turn is tonight.
- So soon?
Well, it's supposed
to be Earl Morgan's turn,
but he bought
a new car this morning.
And he wants to stay home
and sit in it.
So I'm filling in.
Well, looks like tonight the
town's in your hands, George.
Wow! This is gonna be one of
the biggest nights of my life.
Make sure that driveway
is kept clear at all times.
Now let me acquaint you
with some of the equipment
that we use here at the station.
It's the truck.
That's about it for equipment.
Now on to procedure.
This is where the calls come in.
Somebody calls in about a fire,
you get the name, the address,
the telephone number.
- Name, address, telephone number.
- That's right.
And when you get the address,
you find it on the map here.
If it's in the red section,
you sound the alarm once.
If it's in the blue section,
sound the alarm twice.
This lets the firemen
know which way to head.
Now if you get the system
confused, don't worry about it.
The town's flat, the guys
can just follow the smoke.
Now here's the second most
important rule.
Never use this telephone
for personal calls.
It's only for emergencies.
We can't take the risk
of tying it up.
Got it.
Good. Now...
Oh, excuse me.
Fire Department.
Oh, hi, honey.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I can pick it up
on the way home, yeah.
Anything else?
Oh, good. Okay, fine.
See you soon.
Bye-bye.
Where was I?
Never use this phone
for personal calls.
That's right.
These are the keys
to the fire truck.
If there's a fire,
do I drive the truck?
No. You have to be
a fireman for 10 years
before you get
to drive the truck.
Why is that?
That's just because.
If somebody calls in
about a fire,
you sound the alarm,
you open the garage doors,
and you start up the truck.
By the time she gets warmed up,
I should be able to get here.
Then you'll drive the truck?
That's right, because I've
been a fireman for 10 years.
Now if there's nothing else,
George, I'll be running along.
I left my number right
on the board here.
If you need anything at all,
just give me a call.
- Right.
- But not on that phone.
- Right.
- Good luck, George.
Good to have you with us.
Thanks. Hank.
You won't be sorry.
Utley! Calling Utley!
This is Utley.
Don't worry. I've got
everything under control.
Hi, Dick. Hi, Joanna.
Oh, shoot.
Oh, where did they go?
Oh, there they are.
Oh, no!
Oh.
Oh, hello, Dick.
This is George.
I'm down at the fire station
and I need your help.
I just dropped the keys
and my life down the drain.
- George?
- Over here, Dick.
- Did the hanger work?
- No.
And now I can't even
hang up my coat.
Oh, this is terrible.
I can't believe I did this!
George, there has to be an extra
set of keys around somewhere.
I looked everywhere.
I can't find any.
Why don't you call Hank?
I'm sure he has an extra key.
No! No, if I call Hank,
he'll know I lost the keys,
and they'll probably fire me.
George, you're a volunteer.
They can't fire you.
Then they'll probably kill me.
Wait a minute.
All we need is
to move the truck.
- How?
- Well, maybe we can push it.
- George, put it in neutral.
- Okay.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
Okay, push, push...
push.
Is it moving?
I don't think so.
- I wonder how much this weighs.
- Eight and a half tons.
That's our problem.
What are we gonna do?
Well, wait a minute, George.
We don't have to move the truck.
All we have to move is the tire.
The tire is attached
to the truck, Dick.
I know that, George. Maybe we
can jack it up
and take the tire off.
Oh, of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
George, you're just nervous.
I guess you're right. I want
so much to be a good fireman
that I can't think
in an emergency.
All right.
You see if you can find a jack.
Oh, wait a minute. I got a
big jack at home in the garage.
Great. You go home
and get it and I'll wait here.
No, you can't wait here, Dick.
You're not a fireman.
All right. You wait here
and I'll get the jack.
Uh, Dick? Dick?
Dick, would you do me a favor?
If anybody asks why we need
a jack at the firehouse,
just tell 'em we decided
to rotate the tires.
Right.
- Here's the jack, George.
- Oh, good.
- Did you get the lug wrench?
- Yeah, it's coming.
George, I know I promised
that I wouldn't tell anybody.
But I couldn't get the jack
in the car by myself.
And, besides, you know,
we need someone to...
Who did you tell?
George Utley,
ladies and gentlemen,
boob of the century.
Kirk, hand me the lug wrench.
You put the jack
under the truck.
George, you can help me
loosen these lug nuts.
Couldn't you have asked Joanna?
I just want you to know, George,
you have ruined my Saturday night.
I'm sorry, Kirk.
I didn't do this on purpose.
I just hate wasting my time
at this stupid firehouse
when I could be hanging around
the rummage sale waiting for Cindy.
I'll get it.
Turn harder, George.
I'm trying, Dick.
This thing is stuck!
Who put these on here, anyway?
It's no use.
Maybe this is the way
things are meant to be.
You mean tight?
No. You know how they say
some men are destined
to be president.
Maybe I was destined
to not be a fireman.
George, try to look
at the bright side.
Anybody who has had
as much bad luck as you have
is bound to be due
for some good luck.
Well, maybe you're right.
- There's a fire.
- What?
Well, there can't be a fire!
There hasn't be
a fire since 1979!
You want me to call them back
and tell them that?
- Dick, what are we gonna do?
- George, don't panic!
We have to panic!
Someone's house is burning down!
All right.
Sound the alarm!
Where is it?
Where's the address?
You guys start
getting coats and hats.
- For what?
- To fight the fire!
How can we fight the fire
if we haven't got a truck?
- We'll take Dick's car!
- Wait a minute!
Get the hoses!
Get the ladders!
- Hold it!
- Come on, Dick!
Don't just stand there!
Hurry!
George, we can't fight a fire
in an Oldsmobile!
There's room enough
in the back seat!
George, don't you think
you should be calling Hank?
No time now!
I'll call him from the fire!
- What are you doing?
- Loading up!
Couldn't you at least
roll down the windows?
What about blankets?
Why would we want blankets?
To smother the fire!
Well, what am I supposed to do,
go find a linen closet?
Grab something!
All right.
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I just thought
you might have seen them.
Well, if you do hear anything,
let me know, Shirley.
Okay, thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Thank goodness, someone's home.
- What's the matter?
Well, George ran into
some kind of trouble
at the firehouse,
and Dick went to help him
and he hasn't come back yet.
Did you call down there?
Yes, and there's no answer.
I don't know what's going on.
Well, I'm sorry
we weren't back sooner.
But we stopped
and got a bite to eat.
Well, I'm not worried.
I'm sure they're all right.
How was the rummage sale?
It was probably the most
moving experience I've ever had.
A rummage sale?
I've never seen such
an outpouring
of love and clothing in my life.
All I'm saying is that,
if my pants are ruined,
George is paying for them.
And you're paying for
the broken window in the car!
Oh, yeah?
You wanna hear something?
No, I'm not!
- There you are.
- Why are you dressed like that?
- Where have you been?
- We were fighting a fire.
You fought a fire?
Believe me, I would have
rather been at the rummage sale.
Oh, no, but I'm proud of you!
What I meant was, I would have
rather been at the rummage sale,
but my fellow man came first.
What happened?
Well, I made another dumb
mistake. That's what happened.
No, you didn't. This man
performed a giant act of courage.
Disguised as a fit of panic.
He didn't panic!
He went
into a smoke-filled kitchen
not knowing what danger
was waiting for him!
What danger?
It was a blazing fillet of sole!
He didn't know it was fish.
The point is,
it was brave of him
to even go in there
in the first place.
Then explain to me why he tossed
a burning skillet
in the backyard
and then threw himself
on top of it.
It was a natural reaction.
To a hand grenade,
not to someone's dinner!
Kirk's right.
I may have looked brave.
But the whole thing wouldn't have
happened if I hadn't messed everything up.
Let's face it.
I'm no fireman.
I'm going down tomorrow
and resign.
George, don't feel that way.
You did the best you could.
Yeah. I'm not sure that I
understand everything that happened.
But it sounds to me
like you were a hero.
I can't imagine anyone
making it sound otherwise.
We're talking about me, right?
Okay, it's true.
While I might have been smarter
about putting the fire out...
Instead of throwing myself
on top of it,
I would have used Dick's coat...
The point is, you were thinking
about other people
while I was thinking
about myself, and you.
You were brave, and if anybody asks me,
that's what I'm gonna tell them.
Gee, thanks, Kirk.
- Excuse me?
- Oh, Hank.
Joanna, Stephanie, Cindy,
this is Hank Dawson,
our permanent fireman.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
Is everybody okay here?
Yeah, we're fine.
Hank, I'm sorry
about everything that happened.
I'd turn in my badge,
except I never got one.
What are you talking about?
You didn't do anything wrong.
See? And he's a fireman.
Well, I lost the keys
to the fire truck.
Oh, we lose keys
to that fire truck all the time.
- You do?
- Oh, sure.
With so many volunteers,
guys take 'em home with em,
they leave 'em at work.
There's keys to that fire truck
all over this town.
Isn't that kind of risky?
I mean, anyone could come in
and drive off
with the fire truck.
No, no. You can't drive the truck
till you been a fireman for 10 years.
Listen, George,
I'm really sorry about this.
I had the badge
in my pocket all day long
and forgot all about it.
There you go.
George, congratulations!
Oh, hear, hear!
I gotta be running along,
everybody.
Nice meeting you.
Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, Hank, thanks.
Thank you.
- Now how do you feel?
- Oh, I think I'm gonna cry.
Oh, that's sweet.
No, that's pain.
Hank stabbed me with that badge.
- What's the matter?
This is the third time this month
someone has written us a bad check.
From now on, I think
we should have a rule
that we're not gonna
accept personal checks.
- Okay.
- We'll take credit cards,
we'll take travelers checks.
But we're not gonna take
personal checks anymore.
- Will you back me up on this?
- I just said okay.
Well, I know you say that, honey. But
as soon as someone comes downstairs
and asks if they can write us a
personal check, you'll say sure.
No, I won't.
Just wait and see.
The next person that walks down those
stairs and wants to write a personal check,
I'll say, "Dream on, buddy."
Morning.
Coffee fresh?
- Yeah.
- Oh, great.
What are you doing?
It's not for me.
It's for my customers.
Listen, Cindy's gonna
be performing tomorrow
at a charity rummage sale.
And she asked me to ask you guys
if you wanted
to donate anything.
Oh, we'd love to. I've been wanting
to clean out Dick's closet anyway.
What about Stephanie?
I'm sure she's got a lot of
things she could give. Stephanie!
Whatee?
Could you come
out here for a second?
I guess so!
What did you want?
Kirk just told us
that Cindy's gonna
be performing at a charity
rummage sale tomorrow.
And she wanted to know
if you could donate anything.
Gee, I'd love to,
but I'm kind of broke right now.
You don't have to give money.
The idea of a rummage sale is
to give things like clothes.
Clothes?
Well, what's the matter?
Well, I don't really think I have
any clothes I wanna give away.
Stephanie, I'm sure
you could find something.
Well, I'll look.
What kind of things
do they want?
Usually,
they want practical things.
That'll take some digging.
Thanks, guys.
You know, I'm always telling
Cindy how classy you are.
This makes it look like I'm
telling the truth.
Yee-haw!
Whoopee! Yahoo!
Is that George?
It's either George or
there's a cattle drive going by.
Yahoo! Whoopee!
Guess what?
They found a cure
for being a hayseed?
The greatest thing that's ever
happened to me just happened.
I'm gonna be
a volunteer fireman.
What's all this about, George?
George, I didn't even know
you wanted to be a fireman.
Oh, I've always wanted
to be a volunteer fireman.
I've had my name
on the waiting list for years.
And today it came up.
I'm finally going to do
something
that the people in this town
aren't going to laugh at.
George, what are you talking about?
Nobody laughs at you.
Oh, yeah?
Remember all that razzing I got
last year when I said I saw a UFO?
And then they put me in charge of the
Thanksgiving Day parade and it rained?
Oh, let's face it.
Nobody in this town thinks
I can do anything right.
Well, in their defense,
I think you've given them
good reason.
Well, not anymore.
I finally found something
I can really be good at.
But isn't being
a fireman dangerous?
Not in this town. We haven't
had a fire since 1979.
But that was a big one.
Where was it?
At the fire station.
- What?
- A stack of papers
for the paper drive caught fire,
but they stopped
the paper drive,
and they haven't
had any trouble since.
Well, I'd better go
get my work done,
so I'll have the whole day
tomorrow to be at the firehouse.
It's my orientation.
Yahoo! Whoo-hoo!
I can't believe
how excited he is.
Yeah. You know, it's just the kind of
thing he needs to boost his confidence,
and I think just the kind
of thing he'll be good at.
Well, needless to say,
all of us with wood-frame
houses will be rooting for him.
Morning.
We'd like to check out now.
- Oh, fine.
- This place is beautiful.
We just can't wait
to come back again.
Thank you.
We're glad you enjoyed it.
How much do I owe you?
- Two days, that's $70.
- Mm-hmm.
Will you take a check?
- Sure.
- Sure.
Oh, hi, Joanna.
- Cindy?
- Yeah.
Oh, my gosh, I've never seen you
in your outfit before. It's adorable.
Oh, thanks. It's just a little
something I threw together.
I love it.
Oh, is this the stuff
for the rummage sale?
Yeah.
Stephanie! Cindy's here!
Coming!
How long does it take you to
look like that?
About an hour.
That's how long it takes me
to look like this.
Hi, Cindy.
Hi, Stephanie.
- Here's your stuff.
- Oh, great.
You've never seen Cindy
in her clown outfit before.
What do you think?
Oh, that's right.
You're in your outfit.
Wait a minute.
This isn't what you're giving,
is it?
Yeah. Why?
Out of all the clothes
in your closet,
the only thing you could find
to give to the poor
was a strapless evening gown?
Well, I wanted to give more.
I just couldn't find anything.
Besides, this happens
to be a very fine dress.
Just because I could never find
a pair of shoes to go with it...
Stephanie, the people we're
giving these things to
really don't go
to that many balls.
They could shorten it
and wear it for cocktails.
You know, Stephanie, if you
don't wanna give anything, it's fine.
I don't want anybody
to feel pressured.
No, that's not it.
Listen, do you think it might
pick up these poor people
if I just loaned them something?
Stephanie, maybe I can help
you find something.
Okay,
but I'm telling you right now,
I have looked and looked,
and I love everything.
Cindy, why don't you have
a seat on the sofa?
- We'll only be a minute.
- Okay.
- Hi, Dick.
- Hi.
It's Cindy.
Oh. Oh, right.
Charity rummage sale.
- Joanna know you're here?
- Yeah.
She's upstairs with Stephanie.
You know, I'm curious, Cindy.
You never told us
how you got to be a clown.
Well, with feet like this,
what else you gonna be?
Actually, it's just something
I always really wanted to do.
Did I ever tell
you I was a clown once?
- Professionally?
- No, no.
In a school fair
when I was at college.
Did you juggle
and do magic tricks?
No, I never did anything
like that.
- Well, what did you do?
- I just stood by the ticket booths.
And when people would walk in,
I'd make my pants fall down.
That sounds funny.
Yeah, but as the day wore on,
you know,
it kinda got old.
Besides, my back began to hurt.
And I wasn't pulling
up my pants as fast
as they wanted me to.
All in all,
I don't miss it much.
Well, I'm sorry, Cindy,
but, apparently,
Stephanie's right.
There's nothing in her closet
she can bear to part with.
You mean, you aren't
gonna donate anything?
Well, I know everyone
hates me, and I'm sorry.
Well, you know, Stephanie,
if you're really serious
about giving something,
you could always give your time.
- What do you mean?
- I mean
that you could come down today
and help volunteer.
And that will get me
off the hook? Great!
Here. Grab a box
and you can come with me.
- Thanks, guys.
- Don't mention it.
Listen, I've never
done anything like this before.
So if I do something wrong,
nobody's gonna yell at me, are they?
Oh, no. Of course not.
Will I have to work a cash register
or make change or anything?
No. Not if you don't
want to.
Oh, what about standing
on my feet for a long time?
I don't really like
to do that either.
- Don't you like Cindy?
- Yeah, I do.
I think she looks adorable
in that outfit.
You know, honey, maybe
someday you should tell her
about the time you were a clown.
Come on, Joanna.
I do have my pride.
Hi, guys.
George, you look wonderful.
- You think so?
- Oh, yeah.
You look like such a... fireman.
- How did the initiation go?
- Great.
I learned all kinds
of fire prevention
and safety procedures.
And then I saw a pretty gruesome
film called "Our Flaming Foe".
Then Hank, the regular fireman,
took me out for an ice cream,
and I came home.
Sounds like a great day.
Yeah. You know,
I don't mean to sound cocky.
But when I walked
down the street in this outfit,
people looked at me
a lot differently
than they ever did before.
I bet.
Oh, and guess what else?
Since they only have
one permanent fireman,
the volunteers have to take turns
spending the night at the fire station.
- And my turn is tonight.
- So soon?
Well, it's supposed
to be Earl Morgan's turn,
but he bought
a new car this morning.
And he wants to stay home
and sit in it.
So I'm filling in.
Well, looks like tonight the
town's in your hands, George.
Wow! This is gonna be one of
the biggest nights of my life.
Make sure that driveway
is kept clear at all times.
Now let me acquaint you
with some of the equipment
that we use here at the station.
It's the truck.
That's about it for equipment.
Now on to procedure.
This is where the calls come in.
Somebody calls in about a fire,
you get the name, the address,
the telephone number.
- Name, address, telephone number.
- That's right.
And when you get the address,
you find it on the map here.
If it's in the red section,
you sound the alarm once.
If it's in the blue section,
sound the alarm twice.
This lets the firemen
know which way to head.
Now if you get the system
confused, don't worry about it.
The town's flat, the guys
can just follow the smoke.
Now here's the second most
important rule.
Never use this telephone
for personal calls.
It's only for emergencies.
We can't take the risk
of tying it up.
Got it.
Good. Now...
Oh, excuse me.
Fire Department.
Oh, hi, honey.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I can pick it up
on the way home, yeah.
Anything else?
Oh, good. Okay, fine.
See you soon.
Bye-bye.
Where was I?
Never use this phone
for personal calls.
That's right.
These are the keys
to the fire truck.
If there's a fire,
do I drive the truck?
No. You have to be
a fireman for 10 years
before you get
to drive the truck.
Why is that?
That's just because.
If somebody calls in
about a fire,
you sound the alarm,
you open the garage doors,
and you start up the truck.
By the time she gets warmed up,
I should be able to get here.
Then you'll drive the truck?
That's right, because I've
been a fireman for 10 years.
Now if there's nothing else,
George, I'll be running along.
I left my number right
on the board here.
If you need anything at all,
just give me a call.
- Right.
- But not on that phone.
- Right.
- Good luck, George.
Good to have you with us.
Thanks. Hank.
You won't be sorry.
Utley! Calling Utley!
This is Utley.
Don't worry. I've got
everything under control.
Hi, Dick. Hi, Joanna.
Oh, shoot.
Oh, where did they go?
Oh, there they are.
Oh, no!
Oh.
Oh, hello, Dick.
This is George.
I'm down at the fire station
and I need your help.
I just dropped the keys
and my life down the drain.
- George?
- Over here, Dick.
- Did the hanger work?
- No.
And now I can't even
hang up my coat.
Oh, this is terrible.
I can't believe I did this!
George, there has to be an extra
set of keys around somewhere.
I looked everywhere.
I can't find any.
Why don't you call Hank?
I'm sure he has an extra key.
No! No, if I call Hank,
he'll know I lost the keys,
and they'll probably fire me.
George, you're a volunteer.
They can't fire you.
Then they'll probably kill me.
Wait a minute.
All we need is
to move the truck.
- How?
- Well, maybe we can push it.
- George, put it in neutral.
- Okay.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
Okay, push, push...
push.
Is it moving?
I don't think so.
- I wonder how much this weighs.
- Eight and a half tons.
That's our problem.
What are we gonna do?
Well, wait a minute, George.
We don't have to move the truck.
All we have to move is the tire.
The tire is attached
to the truck, Dick.
I know that, George. Maybe we
can jack it up
and take the tire off.
Oh, of course.
Why didn't I think of that?
George, you're just nervous.
I guess you're right. I want
so much to be a good fireman
that I can't think
in an emergency.
All right.
You see if you can find a jack.
Oh, wait a minute. I got a
big jack at home in the garage.
Great. You go home
and get it and I'll wait here.
No, you can't wait here, Dick.
You're not a fireman.
All right. You wait here
and I'll get the jack.
Uh, Dick? Dick?
Dick, would you do me a favor?
If anybody asks why we need
a jack at the firehouse,
just tell 'em we decided
to rotate the tires.
Right.
- Here's the jack, George.
- Oh, good.
- Did you get the lug wrench?
- Yeah, it's coming.
George, I know I promised
that I wouldn't tell anybody.
But I couldn't get the jack
in the car by myself.
And, besides, you know,
we need someone to...
Who did you tell?
George Utley,
ladies and gentlemen,
boob of the century.
Kirk, hand me the lug wrench.
You put the jack
under the truck.
George, you can help me
loosen these lug nuts.
Couldn't you have asked Joanna?
I just want you to know, George,
you have ruined my Saturday night.
I'm sorry, Kirk.
I didn't do this on purpose.
I just hate wasting my time
at this stupid firehouse
when I could be hanging around
the rummage sale waiting for Cindy.
I'll get it.
Turn harder, George.
I'm trying, Dick.
This thing is stuck!
Who put these on here, anyway?
It's no use.
Maybe this is the way
things are meant to be.
You mean tight?
No. You know how they say
some men are destined
to be president.
Maybe I was destined
to not be a fireman.
George, try to look
at the bright side.
Anybody who has had
as much bad luck as you have
is bound to be due
for some good luck.
Well, maybe you're right.
- There's a fire.
- What?
Well, there can't be a fire!
There hasn't be
a fire since 1979!
You want me to call them back
and tell them that?
- Dick, what are we gonna do?
- George, don't panic!
We have to panic!
Someone's house is burning down!
All right.
Sound the alarm!
Where is it?
Where's the address?
You guys start
getting coats and hats.
- For what?
- To fight the fire!
How can we fight the fire
if we haven't got a truck?
- We'll take Dick's car!
- Wait a minute!
Get the hoses!
Get the ladders!
- Hold it!
- Come on, Dick!
Don't just stand there!
Hurry!
George, we can't fight a fire
in an Oldsmobile!
There's room enough
in the back seat!
George, don't you think
you should be calling Hank?
No time now!
I'll call him from the fire!
- What are you doing?
- Loading up!
Couldn't you at least
roll down the windows?
What about blankets?
Why would we want blankets?
To smother the fire!
Well, what am I supposed to do,
go find a linen closet?
Grab something!
All right.
I'm sorry to bother you,
but I just thought
you might have seen them.
Well, if you do hear anything,
let me know, Shirley.
Okay, thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Thank goodness, someone's home.
- What's the matter?
Well, George ran into
some kind of trouble
at the firehouse,
and Dick went to help him
and he hasn't come back yet.
Did you call down there?
Yes, and there's no answer.
I don't know what's going on.
Well, I'm sorry
we weren't back sooner.
But we stopped
and got a bite to eat.
Well, I'm not worried.
I'm sure they're all right.
How was the rummage sale?
It was probably the most
moving experience I've ever had.
A rummage sale?
I've never seen such
an outpouring
of love and clothing in my life.
All I'm saying is that,
if my pants are ruined,
George is paying for them.
And you're paying for
the broken window in the car!
Oh, yeah?
You wanna hear something?
No, I'm not!
- There you are.
- Why are you dressed like that?
- Where have you been?
- We were fighting a fire.
You fought a fire?
Believe me, I would have
rather been at the rummage sale.
Oh, no, but I'm proud of you!
What I meant was, I would have
rather been at the rummage sale,
but my fellow man came first.
What happened?
Well, I made another dumb
mistake. That's what happened.
No, you didn't. This man
performed a giant act of courage.
Disguised as a fit of panic.
He didn't panic!
He went
into a smoke-filled kitchen
not knowing what danger
was waiting for him!
What danger?
It was a blazing fillet of sole!
He didn't know it was fish.
The point is,
it was brave of him
to even go in there
in the first place.
Then explain to me why he tossed
a burning skillet
in the backyard
and then threw himself
on top of it.
It was a natural reaction.
To a hand grenade,
not to someone's dinner!
Kirk's right.
I may have looked brave.
But the whole thing wouldn't have
happened if I hadn't messed everything up.
Let's face it.
I'm no fireman.
I'm going down tomorrow
and resign.
George, don't feel that way.
You did the best you could.
Yeah. I'm not sure that I
understand everything that happened.
But it sounds to me
like you were a hero.
I can't imagine anyone
making it sound otherwise.
We're talking about me, right?
Okay, it's true.
While I might have been smarter
about putting the fire out...
Instead of throwing myself
on top of it,
I would have used Dick's coat...
The point is, you were thinking
about other people
while I was thinking
about myself, and you.
You were brave, and if anybody asks me,
that's what I'm gonna tell them.
Gee, thanks, Kirk.
- Excuse me?
- Oh, Hank.
Joanna, Stephanie, Cindy,
this is Hank Dawson,
our permanent fireman.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
Is everybody okay here?
Yeah, we're fine.
Hank, I'm sorry
about everything that happened.
I'd turn in my badge,
except I never got one.
What are you talking about?
You didn't do anything wrong.
See? And he's a fireman.
Well, I lost the keys
to the fire truck.
Oh, we lose keys
to that fire truck all the time.
- You do?
- Oh, sure.
With so many volunteers,
guys take 'em home with em,
they leave 'em at work.
There's keys to that fire truck
all over this town.
Isn't that kind of risky?
I mean, anyone could come in
and drive off
with the fire truck.
No, no. You can't drive the truck
till you been a fireman for 10 years.
Listen, George,
I'm really sorry about this.
I had the badge
in my pocket all day long
and forgot all about it.
There you go.
George, congratulations!
Oh, hear, hear!
I gotta be running along,
everybody.
Nice meeting you.
Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, Hank, thanks.
Thank you.
- Now how do you feel?
- Oh, I think I'm gonna cry.
Oh, that's sweet.
No, that's pain.
Hank stabbed me with that badge.