Newhart (1982–1990): Season 1, Episode 19 - Heaven Knows Mr. Utley - full transcript
George becomes the joke of the town after he spies a UFO and nobody believes him.
(BANGING ON DOOR)
GEORGE: Dick! Joanna! Wake up!
- Is that George?
- Oh, I think so.
Dick! Joanna!
Just a minute, George, coming!
Just a minute.
- George, what is it?
- Oh, good!
I'm glad you're up. You gotta come quick.
- What's going on?
- Out back. You've gotta come see.
- See what?
- Out back.
- See what out back?
- Come on, you'll see. Hurry!
It's this way. Follow me!
DICK: George, we know where out back is.
- What's going on?
- Don't know. We're running out back.
- Why?
- Don't know.
Well, I'm coming with you.
GEORGE: Watch your step through here.
There are lots of chairs and tables.
DICK: We know that, George.
(DICK GROANS)
Wait for me!
Come on, hurry.
Come on, you gotta see this.
See what, George?
Oh, shoot.
- What's the matter?
- It's gone.
- What's gone?
- The thing in the woods.
- What thing?
- I'm not sure.
George, what are you talking about?
I was in bed, asleep,
and all of a sudden I woke up
and couldn't remember
whether I'd closed the garage doors.
Well, you know me, there was no
going back to sleep until I checked.
Boy, caretaking.
Sol put on my robe and boots
and went down the back steps to check.
Oh, yeah, and I got my flashlight.
George, would you please
get to the point?
I am, Dick. As I was coming
around the corner of the garage,
I saw some kind of a thing in the woods.
It was all shiny with lights,
and it came up out of the trees
and just hovered there.
Sounds like a helicopter.
No, it wasn't a helicopter, Dick.
It didn't make any noise.
And when I say lights,
I mean hundreds of lights.
Maybe it was a blimp.
It wasn't shaped like a blimp.
- How big was this thing?
- Oh, big!
What do you mean by big?
- Was it bigger than a car?
- Oh, yes.
Well, what kind of a car?
Look, whatever you saw, George,
it's gone now.
Dick, what do you think it was?
It could have been anything.
It could be swamp gas, a weather balloon,
invaders from another planet.
Dick!
Well, whatever it was,
I'm sure there's a logical explanation.
- Hey, what's going on out here?
- Oh, nothing.
I saw a UFO.
That's not for sure, George.
- A UFO? Where?
- In the woods.
{(STAMMERING) Yeah, but it's gone now.
Everything's fine.
He really saw a UFO?
Well, we don't know what he saw,
but whatever he saw it's gone now,
and we're not going to find out
what it was at this late hour.
Leslie, why don't you show the Tylers
back to their room?
In fact, why don't we all
try to get some sleep
and we'll check it out in the morning?
But if he saw a UFO...
(STAMMERING) Well, we'll deal
with it in the morning.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
I'm sorry I bothered you,
but I thought you should know.
George, don't be sorry.
We're glad you feel
comfortable enough with us
so if something's bothering you,
you feel like you can tell us about it.
Right, Dick?
Right. No matter how ungodly
an hour it is.
I was just afraid if I waited till morning,
I wouldn't know whether it actually
happened or whether I dreamed it.
Well, at least now you know
you didn't dream it.
Unless I'm dreaming this.
Why don't you go to bed, George?
I'll try. Good night.
- Good night, George.
- Good night.
- Well, come on.
- Dick,
what do you really think it was?
I don't know.
I always hate getting up
in the middle of the night.
I feel terrible the next day.
Well, Dick, it's possible
that what George saw was real.
There have been a lot of UFO sightings
in Vermont in the last year.
Mmm-hmm.
Suppose we were being visited.
Why would people from another planet
pick Vermont?
(SIGHS EXASPERATEDLY)
Schools.
Come on, honey, I'm serious.
Honey, can we try to get back to sleep?
What if there is such a thing
as life on other planets?
We aren't going to get back to sleep,
are we?
Well, I mean,
it's just so incredible to think about.
I mean, suppose there are two creatures
just like us
somewhere out there in the universe.
Well, I hope the one like me
is getting some sleep.
(EXCLAIMS WITH PLEASURE)
Leslie, this French toast is fantastic.
It makes me feel like I'm back in Paris.
When were you in Paris, Kirk?
Once during the toast season.
- Morning, everybody.
- Morning. I'll get your breakfast.
Oh, my.
Is this a joke, or are you two planning
to look that way all day?
We didn't get much sleep last night, Kirk.
Oh, how come?
Passion, barking dog, family tragedy?
George saw something last night
and woke us up,
and we couldn't get back to sleep.
What did he see?
We're not sure.
Just an unidentified object in the woods
that appeared to be flying.
- You're saying George saw a spaceship?
- We're not saying that.
That's crazy.
Here you go.
How about you, Leslie,
did you see any Martians last night?
- You told Kirk?
- Yes.
Don't you tell anyone else.
This isn't the kind of thing
we should be talking about
in front of the G-U-E-S-T-S.
Good, Dick, we can spell but they can't.
All I'm trying to say is,
until we find out what it is,
let's not get everybody excited.
Well, I don't think
anyone's going to be excited
because crazy George saw a spaceship.
Quit saying crazy and spaceship.
I mean, that's just what I'm worried about.
That with a guy like George,
people are going to make fun of him.
The quieter we keep this, the better.
Hi, everybody.
- Hi, George.
- Hi, George.
- Hi, George. How are you this morning?
- Fine.
I'll get your breakfast.
That's okay,
I'm not very hungry this morning.
Are you still upset about last night?
Well, I guess a little. Did you tell him?
About the moon men? Yeah.
Kirk, please.
After I left your room,
I couldn't get back to sleep.
Il wouldn't be concerned, George.
Whatever it is,
I'm sure there's an explanation.
-1 bet I know the explanation.
- You do?
Yes. George,
do you ever find yourself
looking forward to having a drink?
Look, George, we're going
to get this cleared up today.
Dick's gonna go into town with you
and you'll check with the sheriff
and the airport, the weather bureau,
the local radio station.
We're gonna see
if anybody else saw what you saw.
George, do you find yourself
only associating
with people who enjoy alcohol?
Eat your toast, Kirk!
George, it would help if you can give us
a description of what you saw.
All I know is, it was shiny with lights
and hovered
and it was shaped something like...
Like a bottle?
George, was it shaped like a saucer?
No, it was more like a cup.
It came up out of the trees, like this,
and just hovered there for a minute
without making any noise.
That was when I ran up and got you guys.
I was only gone a second,
so it must have just taken off.
(EXCLAIMS)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
I'm sorry. I'll go clean that up.
Sounds like bourbon brains to me.
According to this,
there have been over 400 UFO sightings
in the state of Vermont.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The first one was in 1937 by a nurse,
Rachel Kent.
The next one was in 1941 by
a retired air force colonel, John Singer.
Then between 1944 and 1956 there were
84 sightings by a guy named Willy Nugget.
I guess we can't count Willy.
I don't think so.
Hello.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Frankner.
- Hello.
Could we have our bill, please?
- We're gonna check out.
- Oh, fine. Don't move.
Hope you enjoyed your stay.
We had a wonderful time.
My wife loved this place.
I'm glad.
Yes, I never heard her go on so.
She loved the bedspreads, the curtains,
the towels, the pillow shams.
I mean, you name it, she loved it.
Well, good,
then I hope we'll be seeing you again.
I'm sure you will.
I'm ready, honey.
- What's that, dear?
- Our dirty clothes. Come on, let's go.
What dirty clothes?
All our stuff is in the suitcase.
Will you just shut up and come on?
Mrs. Frankner?
Hmm?
You wouldn't, by any chance,
be taking our towels and our bedspread
and our pillow shams, would you?
Dorothy!
What?
I can't believe you're stealing
from these people!
Now you put that down right now
and get out to the car.
Then you give them back their pens.
I'll give them back their pens.
And their ashtrays, too.
And their light bulbs.
Now are you satisfied?
Come on, let's get out of here while
we still have some shred of dignity left.
We had a lovely time.
And if you think I'm gonna take you
on another vacation,
you're living in a dream world.
That's outrageous.
How can people live like that?
Pretty cheaply. ll imagine.
Oh, good, you're back.
What did you find out?
Nothing, we talked to the sheriff
and the people at the airport.
No one reported anything.
There were no weather balloons or planes
in the area.
Whatever it was, there doesn't seem to be
any explanation.
According to them,
I'm the only one who saw anything.
So what do you do now?
I don't know.
The sheriff and the people at the airport
said that they have groups
that investigate things like this.
You mean, one of those UFO societies?
I think I should warn you, George,
if you take it that far
you may be opening yourself up to
a lot of ridicule and embarrassment.
But, Dick, if I saw something,
don't I have a duty to report it?
I think George is right.
Besides, there's always gonna be
a small group of ignorant people
who are going to make fun
of something like this.
What's that?
Looks like a rock with a note tied to it.
What does it say?
"George Utley is a nut.”
Now, who would do something like that?
Signed, the sheriff
and the people at the airport.
No, I'm sorry, George Utley isn't here.
Can ll take a message?
I'm not going to take that message.
Who is this?
No, don't say "a friend." I want your name.
I mean, if you're gonna use
language like that,
I want to know who you are.
Because I want to know the kind of
disgusting, small-minded coward
I'm talking to.
Muffin?
Okay, Muffin, look,
if you have something nasty
to say about George,
why don't you just tie it to a rock
like everybody else?
Sorry, George, I hope it didn't bother you.
Just one crank.
You mean, one more crank.
George, I know this is hard,
but believe me, in six months,
you'll look back on this and laugh.
I hope so. That'll give me something
in common with the rest of the town.
(PHONE RINGING)
Stratford Inn.
I assume by Buck Rogers
you're referring to our caretaker?
DICK: No, he isn't here.
Oh, really?
Well, let me tell you something.
It's people like you
that give people a bad name.
- What was that all about?
- Just another crank.
I've heard from every crackpot
and loose screw in the county.
Oh, your mother called.
Not about George.
She said she wanted to talk to you.
Oh, well, I'll call her.
And by the way, at the time,
I'd just gotten about five straight
crank phone calls in a row,
so, you know, if ll said anything
to offend her, tell her I'm sorry.
Okay.
Specifically,
I may have used the words Cyclops
and chowder head.
- Where have you two been?
- We went for a walk in the woods.
Looking for landing sites?
Well, no,
we just felt so badly about George,
we wanted to see if we could help.
- You find anything?
- The remnants of a campsite.
But I doubt that aliens would have
come all this way just to drink light beer.
How'd you do with the UFO society?
Oh, they were very sympathetic.
But they said with no evidence
to support George's claim,
there really wasn't anything they could do.
Dick, with no evidence, do you think
George really did see something?
I think he believes he saw something.
But do you believe he saw something?
Well, it doesn't matter.
I mean, what matters is that
George is my friend and I believe in that.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Oh, great, another crank.
- Let me take care of this one, Dick.
Thanks.
Hello.
No, George Utley is not here.
May I take a message?
Really? You believe him?
You saw it, too? Oh, this is great.
George is gonna be so happy.
I'll have him call you
the minute he comes in.
May I have your name?
Willy Nugget.
(CHATTERING)
Could I get another cup of coffee, please?
I'll beam it right over.
Mom, is that the man
who saw the spaceship?
Shush! Now eat your lunch.
- Can ll go talk to him?
- No.
Why not? He's famous.
He's a kook. Eat your lunch.
Oh, there you are, George.
I've been looking for you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dick.
Il was depressed sol came over here.
Didn't realize you were that depressed.
Hi, Dick. What's up?
Just came over to ask George
if he wanted to come home for lunch.
Right, heaven forbid
he should have anything over here.
That's okay, I'm not hungry, Dick.
George, you have to eat.
But not here, right, Dick?
I didn't mean anything
against the cafe, Kirk.
I thought I'd stay here for a while.
I got tired of hearing the phone ring
and you saying I wasn't there when I was.
I thought if I wasn't there, you could say
I wasn't there and I wouldn't be.
George, I'm sorry
you have to go through this.
It's my own fault.
I should have just kept my mouth shut.
- How you doing, Kirk?
- Hey, Kirk, what's happening?
Hey!
(IMITATES HOVERING)
Come on, George, let's go.
Hey, I saw a space shuttle
parked out front.
Is that yours, George?
George, are you sure
you don't want to go home?
What do you think
those spacemen wanted with George?
Well, they were probably looking
for a higher form of intelligence
and found George by mistake.
(MEN GUFFAWING)
George, you don't have to put up with this.
- They don't bother me, Dick.
- Well, they bother me.
Maybe George is from outer space.
He could be. He's always got that hat on.
Maybe there's a couple of antennas
under there.
(SNICKERING)
He could be from out of this world.
He's out of his mind!
Okay, that's it.
I've heard enough out of you guys.
Oh, yeah?
Pretty much, yeah.
Maybe he wants to teach you a lesson.
You'd better look out, Jack,
that's Dick Loudon, the writer,
you're tangling with.
He may have a pen.
Come on, Phillip, let's get out of here.
I wanna see this.
I told you the man is a kook, now move.
No. No one's leaving.
Il have something I want to say,
and ll want everybody to hear it.
I don't care how big you are.
And that includes you and you.
And you, Kirk.
I know why you're teasing George.
There's something you don't understand
and so you make fun of it.
Well, that makes sense.
I mean, not to make fun
of something like this
requires things like character,
sensitivity, brains.
And George is an easy target.
I mean, he can't prove
that he saw something.
But then, you can't prove that he didn't,
can you?
- Well...
- Shut up, Kirk.
I don't know what George saw exactly,
but even if he saw something
as incredible as a flying saucer...
No, it was a cup.
Whatever, George.
The point is, if he says he saw something,
I'm not gonna be stupid enough
to say he didn't.
And for your information,
there's nothing under my hat.
I'm sorry, Dick, I just reached my limit.
What do you say we get out of here?
- Yeah, I could go for a pizza.
- Great, let's split.
God, I love it when you come over.
(OWL HOOTING)
- Hi, George.
- Hi, Dick.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- Some week.
- Yeah.
You know, I've been taking care of this inn
for almost my whole life,
and most of that time I've been alone.
This is the first time
that I ever really felt lonely.
You know, reporting what you saw
took courage.
And courage can sometimes be
a lonely thing.
But at least you're not the first person
to have gone through it, you know.
I mean, imagine how Socrates
and Joan of Arc felt.
I'm sorry, Dick, I've heard of those people
but I'm not sure what they did.
Well, they stood up
for what they believed,
and they were persecuted.
Did people call them nuts?
- Yeah, they did.
- I can sympathize with that.
And then they killed them.
Whoa!
Well, it's getting kind of cold.
I'd better get back inside.
- You coming?
- Not just yet, thanks.
Dick.
Do you think there's any chance that
whatever it was I saw will come back?
I have to tell you the truth, George.
I don't think so.
What the heck.
Guess we can give it another 10 minutes.
GEORGE: Dick! Joanna! Wake up!
- Is that George?
- Oh, I think so.
Dick! Joanna!
Just a minute, George, coming!
Just a minute.
- George, what is it?
- Oh, good!
I'm glad you're up. You gotta come quick.
- What's going on?
- Out back. You've gotta come see.
- See what?
- Out back.
- See what out back?
- Come on, you'll see. Hurry!
It's this way. Follow me!
DICK: George, we know where out back is.
- What's going on?
- Don't know. We're running out back.
- Why?
- Don't know.
Well, I'm coming with you.
GEORGE: Watch your step through here.
There are lots of chairs and tables.
DICK: We know that, George.
(DICK GROANS)
Wait for me!
Come on, hurry.
Come on, you gotta see this.
See what, George?
Oh, shoot.
- What's the matter?
- It's gone.
- What's gone?
- The thing in the woods.
- What thing?
- I'm not sure.
George, what are you talking about?
I was in bed, asleep,
and all of a sudden I woke up
and couldn't remember
whether I'd closed the garage doors.
Well, you know me, there was no
going back to sleep until I checked.
Boy, caretaking.
Sol put on my robe and boots
and went down the back steps to check.
Oh, yeah, and I got my flashlight.
George, would you please
get to the point?
I am, Dick. As I was coming
around the corner of the garage,
I saw some kind of a thing in the woods.
It was all shiny with lights,
and it came up out of the trees
and just hovered there.
Sounds like a helicopter.
No, it wasn't a helicopter, Dick.
It didn't make any noise.
And when I say lights,
I mean hundreds of lights.
Maybe it was a blimp.
It wasn't shaped like a blimp.
- How big was this thing?
- Oh, big!
What do you mean by big?
- Was it bigger than a car?
- Oh, yes.
Well, what kind of a car?
Look, whatever you saw, George,
it's gone now.
Dick, what do you think it was?
It could have been anything.
It could be swamp gas, a weather balloon,
invaders from another planet.
Dick!
Well, whatever it was,
I'm sure there's a logical explanation.
- Hey, what's going on out here?
- Oh, nothing.
I saw a UFO.
That's not for sure, George.
- A UFO? Where?
- In the woods.
{(STAMMERING) Yeah, but it's gone now.
Everything's fine.
He really saw a UFO?
Well, we don't know what he saw,
but whatever he saw it's gone now,
and we're not going to find out
what it was at this late hour.
Leslie, why don't you show the Tylers
back to their room?
In fact, why don't we all
try to get some sleep
and we'll check it out in the morning?
But if he saw a UFO...
(STAMMERING) Well, we'll deal
with it in the morning.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
I'm sorry I bothered you,
but I thought you should know.
George, don't be sorry.
We're glad you feel
comfortable enough with us
so if something's bothering you,
you feel like you can tell us about it.
Right, Dick?
Right. No matter how ungodly
an hour it is.
I was just afraid if I waited till morning,
I wouldn't know whether it actually
happened or whether I dreamed it.
Well, at least now you know
you didn't dream it.
Unless I'm dreaming this.
Why don't you go to bed, George?
I'll try. Good night.
- Good night, George.
- Good night.
- Well, come on.
- Dick,
what do you really think it was?
I don't know.
I always hate getting up
in the middle of the night.
I feel terrible the next day.
Well, Dick, it's possible
that what George saw was real.
There have been a lot of UFO sightings
in Vermont in the last year.
Mmm-hmm.
Suppose we were being visited.
Why would people from another planet
pick Vermont?
(SIGHS EXASPERATEDLY)
Schools.
Come on, honey, I'm serious.
Honey, can we try to get back to sleep?
What if there is such a thing
as life on other planets?
We aren't going to get back to sleep,
are we?
Well, I mean,
it's just so incredible to think about.
I mean, suppose there are two creatures
just like us
somewhere out there in the universe.
Well, I hope the one like me
is getting some sleep.
(EXCLAIMS WITH PLEASURE)
Leslie, this French toast is fantastic.
It makes me feel like I'm back in Paris.
When were you in Paris, Kirk?
Once during the toast season.
- Morning, everybody.
- Morning. I'll get your breakfast.
Oh, my.
Is this a joke, or are you two planning
to look that way all day?
We didn't get much sleep last night, Kirk.
Oh, how come?
Passion, barking dog, family tragedy?
George saw something last night
and woke us up,
and we couldn't get back to sleep.
What did he see?
We're not sure.
Just an unidentified object in the woods
that appeared to be flying.
- You're saying George saw a spaceship?
- We're not saying that.
That's crazy.
Here you go.
How about you, Leslie,
did you see any Martians last night?
- You told Kirk?
- Yes.
Don't you tell anyone else.
This isn't the kind of thing
we should be talking about
in front of the G-U-E-S-T-S.
Good, Dick, we can spell but they can't.
All I'm trying to say is,
until we find out what it is,
let's not get everybody excited.
Well, I don't think
anyone's going to be excited
because crazy George saw a spaceship.
Quit saying crazy and spaceship.
I mean, that's just what I'm worried about.
That with a guy like George,
people are going to make fun of him.
The quieter we keep this, the better.
Hi, everybody.
- Hi, George.
- Hi, George.
- Hi, George. How are you this morning?
- Fine.
I'll get your breakfast.
That's okay,
I'm not very hungry this morning.
Are you still upset about last night?
Well, I guess a little. Did you tell him?
About the moon men? Yeah.
Kirk, please.
After I left your room,
I couldn't get back to sleep.
Il wouldn't be concerned, George.
Whatever it is,
I'm sure there's an explanation.
-1 bet I know the explanation.
- You do?
Yes. George,
do you ever find yourself
looking forward to having a drink?
Look, George, we're going
to get this cleared up today.
Dick's gonna go into town with you
and you'll check with the sheriff
and the airport, the weather bureau,
the local radio station.
We're gonna see
if anybody else saw what you saw.
George, do you find yourself
only associating
with people who enjoy alcohol?
Eat your toast, Kirk!
George, it would help if you can give us
a description of what you saw.
All I know is, it was shiny with lights
and hovered
and it was shaped something like...
Like a bottle?
George, was it shaped like a saucer?
No, it was more like a cup.
It came up out of the trees, like this,
and just hovered there for a minute
without making any noise.
That was when I ran up and got you guys.
I was only gone a second,
so it must have just taken off.
(EXCLAIMS)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
I'm sorry. I'll go clean that up.
Sounds like bourbon brains to me.
According to this,
there have been over 400 UFO sightings
in the state of Vermont.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The first one was in 1937 by a nurse,
Rachel Kent.
The next one was in 1941 by
a retired air force colonel, John Singer.
Then between 1944 and 1956 there were
84 sightings by a guy named Willy Nugget.
I guess we can't count Willy.
I don't think so.
Hello.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Frankner.
- Hello.
Could we have our bill, please?
- We're gonna check out.
- Oh, fine. Don't move.
Hope you enjoyed your stay.
We had a wonderful time.
My wife loved this place.
I'm glad.
Yes, I never heard her go on so.
She loved the bedspreads, the curtains,
the towels, the pillow shams.
I mean, you name it, she loved it.
Well, good,
then I hope we'll be seeing you again.
I'm sure you will.
I'm ready, honey.
- What's that, dear?
- Our dirty clothes. Come on, let's go.
What dirty clothes?
All our stuff is in the suitcase.
Will you just shut up and come on?
Mrs. Frankner?
Hmm?
You wouldn't, by any chance,
be taking our towels and our bedspread
and our pillow shams, would you?
Dorothy!
What?
I can't believe you're stealing
from these people!
Now you put that down right now
and get out to the car.
Then you give them back their pens.
I'll give them back their pens.
And their ashtrays, too.
And their light bulbs.
Now are you satisfied?
Come on, let's get out of here while
we still have some shred of dignity left.
We had a lovely time.
And if you think I'm gonna take you
on another vacation,
you're living in a dream world.
That's outrageous.
How can people live like that?
Pretty cheaply. ll imagine.
Oh, good, you're back.
What did you find out?
Nothing, we talked to the sheriff
and the people at the airport.
No one reported anything.
There were no weather balloons or planes
in the area.
Whatever it was, there doesn't seem to be
any explanation.
According to them,
I'm the only one who saw anything.
So what do you do now?
I don't know.
The sheriff and the people at the airport
said that they have groups
that investigate things like this.
You mean, one of those UFO societies?
I think I should warn you, George,
if you take it that far
you may be opening yourself up to
a lot of ridicule and embarrassment.
But, Dick, if I saw something,
don't I have a duty to report it?
I think George is right.
Besides, there's always gonna be
a small group of ignorant people
who are going to make fun
of something like this.
What's that?
Looks like a rock with a note tied to it.
What does it say?
"George Utley is a nut.”
Now, who would do something like that?
Signed, the sheriff
and the people at the airport.
No, I'm sorry, George Utley isn't here.
Can ll take a message?
I'm not going to take that message.
Who is this?
No, don't say "a friend." I want your name.
I mean, if you're gonna use
language like that,
I want to know who you are.
Because I want to know the kind of
disgusting, small-minded coward
I'm talking to.
Muffin?
Okay, Muffin, look,
if you have something nasty
to say about George,
why don't you just tie it to a rock
like everybody else?
Sorry, George, I hope it didn't bother you.
Just one crank.
You mean, one more crank.
George, I know this is hard,
but believe me, in six months,
you'll look back on this and laugh.
I hope so. That'll give me something
in common with the rest of the town.
(PHONE RINGING)
Stratford Inn.
I assume by Buck Rogers
you're referring to our caretaker?
DICK: No, he isn't here.
Oh, really?
Well, let me tell you something.
It's people like you
that give people a bad name.
- What was that all about?
- Just another crank.
I've heard from every crackpot
and loose screw in the county.
Oh, your mother called.
Not about George.
She said she wanted to talk to you.
Oh, well, I'll call her.
And by the way, at the time,
I'd just gotten about five straight
crank phone calls in a row,
so, you know, if ll said anything
to offend her, tell her I'm sorry.
Okay.
Specifically,
I may have used the words Cyclops
and chowder head.
- Where have you two been?
- We went for a walk in the woods.
Looking for landing sites?
Well, no,
we just felt so badly about George,
we wanted to see if we could help.
- You find anything?
- The remnants of a campsite.
But I doubt that aliens would have
come all this way just to drink light beer.
How'd you do with the UFO society?
Oh, they were very sympathetic.
But they said with no evidence
to support George's claim,
there really wasn't anything they could do.
Dick, with no evidence, do you think
George really did see something?
I think he believes he saw something.
But do you believe he saw something?
Well, it doesn't matter.
I mean, what matters is that
George is my friend and I believe in that.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Oh, great, another crank.
- Let me take care of this one, Dick.
Thanks.
Hello.
No, George Utley is not here.
May I take a message?
Really? You believe him?
You saw it, too? Oh, this is great.
George is gonna be so happy.
I'll have him call you
the minute he comes in.
May I have your name?
Willy Nugget.
(CHATTERING)
Could I get another cup of coffee, please?
I'll beam it right over.
Mom, is that the man
who saw the spaceship?
Shush! Now eat your lunch.
- Can ll go talk to him?
- No.
Why not? He's famous.
He's a kook. Eat your lunch.
Oh, there you are, George.
I've been looking for you.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dick.
Il was depressed sol came over here.
Didn't realize you were that depressed.
Hi, Dick. What's up?
Just came over to ask George
if he wanted to come home for lunch.
Right, heaven forbid
he should have anything over here.
That's okay, I'm not hungry, Dick.
George, you have to eat.
But not here, right, Dick?
I didn't mean anything
against the cafe, Kirk.
I thought I'd stay here for a while.
I got tired of hearing the phone ring
and you saying I wasn't there when I was.
I thought if I wasn't there, you could say
I wasn't there and I wouldn't be.
George, I'm sorry
you have to go through this.
It's my own fault.
I should have just kept my mouth shut.
- How you doing, Kirk?
- Hey, Kirk, what's happening?
Hey!
(IMITATES HOVERING)
Come on, George, let's go.
Hey, I saw a space shuttle
parked out front.
Is that yours, George?
George, are you sure
you don't want to go home?
What do you think
those spacemen wanted with George?
Well, they were probably looking
for a higher form of intelligence
and found George by mistake.
(MEN GUFFAWING)
George, you don't have to put up with this.
- They don't bother me, Dick.
- Well, they bother me.
Maybe George is from outer space.
He could be. He's always got that hat on.
Maybe there's a couple of antennas
under there.
(SNICKERING)
He could be from out of this world.
He's out of his mind!
Okay, that's it.
I've heard enough out of you guys.
Oh, yeah?
Pretty much, yeah.
Maybe he wants to teach you a lesson.
You'd better look out, Jack,
that's Dick Loudon, the writer,
you're tangling with.
He may have a pen.
Come on, Phillip, let's get out of here.
I wanna see this.
I told you the man is a kook, now move.
No. No one's leaving.
Il have something I want to say,
and ll want everybody to hear it.
I don't care how big you are.
And that includes you and you.
And you, Kirk.
I know why you're teasing George.
There's something you don't understand
and so you make fun of it.
Well, that makes sense.
I mean, not to make fun
of something like this
requires things like character,
sensitivity, brains.
And George is an easy target.
I mean, he can't prove
that he saw something.
But then, you can't prove that he didn't,
can you?
- Well...
- Shut up, Kirk.
I don't know what George saw exactly,
but even if he saw something
as incredible as a flying saucer...
No, it was a cup.
Whatever, George.
The point is, if he says he saw something,
I'm not gonna be stupid enough
to say he didn't.
And for your information,
there's nothing under my hat.
I'm sorry, Dick, I just reached my limit.
What do you say we get out of here?
- Yeah, I could go for a pizza.
- Great, let's split.
God, I love it when you come over.
(OWL HOOTING)
- Hi, George.
- Hi, Dick.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
- Some week.
- Yeah.
You know, I've been taking care of this inn
for almost my whole life,
and most of that time I've been alone.
This is the first time
that I ever really felt lonely.
You know, reporting what you saw
took courage.
And courage can sometimes be
a lonely thing.
But at least you're not the first person
to have gone through it, you know.
I mean, imagine how Socrates
and Joan of Arc felt.
I'm sorry, Dick, I've heard of those people
but I'm not sure what they did.
Well, they stood up
for what they believed,
and they were persecuted.
Did people call them nuts?
- Yeah, they did.
- I can sympathize with that.
And then they killed them.
Whoa!
Well, it's getting kind of cold.
I'd better get back inside.
- You coming?
- Not just yet, thanks.
Dick.
Do you think there's any chance that
whatever it was I saw will come back?
I have to tell you the truth, George.
I don't think so.
What the heck.
Guess we can give it another 10 minutes.