King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 9, Episode 11 - Redcorn Gambles with His Future - full transcript
John Redcorn opens a gambling casino on his land.
( people chattering )
Buon giorno,
what can I get you?
Well, what do you recommend to
a couple of real big spenders?
My boyfriend likes
the surf n' turf.
Medium cheese pizza,
two waters. Tap.
Thanks for
inviting me out, sir.
Yeah, yeah, well, this
ain't a social call, son.
You know the Strickland
Propane Family Fun Day?
The Strickland Propane
Family Fun Day?!
We haven't done that
in five years.
Well, glad you liked it
'cause this party is
what I'm giving everyone
instead of health insurance
so we can't mess it up.
That's why I'm putting
you in charge.
I will treat this picnic
with all the gravity
and seriousness it requires.
( microphone feedback )
( tapping on microphone )
Good evening and buon giorno.
The live entertainment portion
of our evening
is about to begin,
so would you please
give a warm welcome
to John Redcorn
and Big Mountain Fudgecake.
John Redcorn?
( strums electric guitar )
( microphone feedback )
Maria's Pasta and Pizza,
are you ready to rock?!
♪ There's a hole in my pocket
where my money should go ♪
( loud '70s rock plays )
♪ There's a hole in my heart
where you used to go ♪
♪ There's a hole ♪
♪ And a hole ♪
♪ And a hole...! ♪
♪ Big ol' hole ♪
( rock guitar solo plays )
( yells ):
Let's get the hell
out of here!
( loud music continues )
So, sir?
What specifically
did you have in mind
for this picnic?
Uh-uh! I delegated.
You're the lead monkey on
the back of this ostrich.
So go make me a picnic!
Hank.
Oh, uh, hey, John Redcorn.
You finished already?
We are finished forever.
Got fired from
playing for free.
It don't get any
lower than that.
That dang manager never got
what Fudgecake is all about.
No one ever does.
We're either
ahead of our times
or possibly way behind,
stuck in some
more classical time.
But either way,
us and our times
aren't seeing eye to eye.
Yeah, well, uh, I'm sure you
and your times will work it out.
I couldn't help overhearing
you have a big event coming up.
Yeah...
And we sure could use
a break, Hank.
We'll, uh...
Don't you like to rock?
Wow, you're sure giving me
a lot to think about here,
uh, but I got the family
waiting at home.
I'll get to work on him.
Dang it!
That is the third piece
of toast you've broken.
And you're always
so careful with your toast.
What's wrong?
( sighs ):
Strickland Family Fun Day.
Do you think
if I got good enough meats
it would count as entertainment?
You got to have
live entertainment, Dad!
Music, magic...
Some people even do both.
Entertainment is the only thing
that distracts people
from realizing how much
they don't like each other.
So what am I gonna be
listening to while I eat this?
I don't know.
Finding a band for under
a hundred dollars
is harder than you think.
Hey, Hank!
The picnic's
going great, sir.
Good, good, 'cause I just got
back from Strickland West
and they've had a tough year
in terms of general
disgruntlement.
Really need this
picnic to be fun.
You see what kind of pressure
I'm under?
You're like one of them
astronauts, honey.
Hank?
Uh...
hey, John Redcorn.
Did you find a band
for your picnic?
No, he didn't.
And the poor bastard's
all twisted up over it.
In the animal kingdom,
many animals work
together in symbiosis.
The oxpecker bird will eat the
ticks and parasites off a zebra.
You and I can be
zebra and oxpecker, too.
But why don't I let our
demo tape do the talking?
( rock guitar plays )
* I am the reaper *
♪ The collector of souls ♪
♪ I am the taker ♪
♪ And the smasher of bowls ♪
♪ Mothers cry ♪
♪ Children die ♪
♪ Alone... ♪
( music stops )
( sighs ):
Okay, I'm sorry,
John Redcorn.
I'm not hiring you.
No way.
I... I see...
You know, you start doing
massage to pay the bills
and you tell yourself,
"Just a few more years
of this, Johnny."
And one day you look
up and you're 40.
You're 40, Hank!
Okay, there, John Redcorn,
you, uh, you make
some good points.
( door closes )
Look, maybe you should stop
waiting for other people
to make things
happen for you.
What does that mean?
Uh, well... maybe
what you need to do
is to, uh,
bet on yourself.
A lot of really
successful people
did that.
Bet on myself?
Sure-- it's your dream,
you make it happen.
Bet on yourself.
Wow, Hank.
You are very wise.
Thank you.
Thank you.
( air hissing )
Dang it, Joe Jack,
that helium is for the picnic.
( squeaky ):
Sorry, honey.
HANK:
The guy asked me
if I wanted honey mustard
and I almost took
a swing at him.
Long story short, I got
a good deal on classic yellow.
The pony guy said what?
What the hell is pony season?
What in the...?
Joe Jack, I'm gonna have
to call you back.
Hey, John Redcorn,
what's going on?
Doing a little
improvement
on your land?
I'm doing an improvement
on my life.
On all of our lives.
You said it.
Isn't it exciting?
I'm following
your advice, Hank.
No more relying
on other people
to wake up and "get" us.
Now, I'm gonna have
a permanent place
to play with my band.
I'm betting on myself
and opening a casino.
But that's crazy.
No, it's brilliant.
Now we have a permanent
venue for Fudgecake to play.
Like Wayne Newton
and the Stardust.
You're a genius,
Uncle Hank.
♪ There's a hole in my pocket
where my money should go ♪
♪ There's a hole ♪
♪ And a hole...! ♪
Wheedle-leedle-leedle...
( imitating guitar )
Oh, God.
So John Redcorn is
opening a casino.
I always wanted to see
a white tiger before I died.
I feel like
it's my fault.
I'm the one who told him
to bet on himself.
If I wasn't so dang busy
finding entertainment
for this picnic,
maybe I could've done
something to stop him.
Relax, Hank.
You know what loosens
the caboose of any party?
Big Mountain Fudgecake!
Want me to see if
they're available?
No.
They've got a super boffo
Bachman-Turner Overdrive
meets Deep Purple
versus ELO kind of sound.
What are you, their manager?
Yes!
Can you believe
the slot was open?
I guess you
were wrong, Hank.
Dreams do come true.
( hard rock )
( clapping )
Evening, gentlemen.
Where can I find John Redcorn?
Oh, he's the visionary
right over there,
the one dripping
with sex appeal and
turquoise jewelry.
Hello, brother Indian.
I am Henry Mankiller with
the Tribal Gaming Corporation.
You got my e-mail!
Cool Web site.
Yes, and I hope you are
enjoying your subscription
to Gaming Nation.
Exactly what kind
of Indian are you?
I am 1/64th Creek
on my mother's side.
So about your casino.
Actually, it's just temporary.
To get our band going.
Let's show him.
♪ Gotta get money
for the things I wanna buy ♪
♪ Gotta get money so in the
plane they'll let me fly ♪
♪ Gotta get money
or else I'm gonna die... ♪
( dogs howling in distance
This is where
the drum solo usually goes.
With a sound like that,
you're not going to need
gaming for long.
I completely get that.
But we can accelerate
the process.
We are, after all, in
the dream building business.
We got a dream
that needs building.
You see... we are one-stop
shopping for everything casino.
We can save you
the hassles of dealing
with the white man's loan
officers by financing everything
through our tribal
development division.
That means your band
is making gold records
that much faster.
This pen has been used
by many of our people
to apply for financing.
Do I look like I know
what a JPEG is?
I just want a picture
of a got-dang hot dog!
Dad, the news is not good.
Swing band... no.
'50s tribute band... no.
Even the polka band... no.
Well, there was this one guy.
I think he felt sorry
for us.
His name is Bloomers.
He does "imagitainment."
Well, I have a band.
Call Bloomers.
You're almost there.
A little more.
That's it.
Let's open with "I Need Money."
We can transition
to "Gotta Get Money"
and do a whole money medley.
I love that song!
♪ Gotta get money for the stuff
I wanna buy! ♪
We are going to do
some serious rocking.
And then people are
going to hear us and love us
and we're gonna be huge.
This is so exciting!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I bought
a whole bunch
of make-ups for
y'all to wear.
( groans )
Uh, Luanne?
Can I speak
to you, outside?
Listen, Yoko.
I'm the manager
of this act
and I'm sick of you trying
to split them apart.
What's a Yoko?
Okay, Missy, that's it.
If you ever come within
100 feet of Fudgecake again,
I will spend the rest
of my life
making you miserable.
I'm gonna... my
purse is inside...
Get!
Is this fun?
I suggest you book
Fudgecake now,
because after
the casino opens,
they might be
too big for you.
They're gonna be helping
kings and dignitaries
get their groove on.
They're not right for us, Dale.
There are going to be
little kids at this picnic.
And we already hired someone.
Bloomers.
Fine, but can I at
least count on you all
to be there tonight
for the Fudgecake
when they open the casino?
Well, I do have to be there
to keep an eye on Buck.
He wants to "parlay"
the picnic money
on the gaming tables.
Don't be surprised if Buck
forgets all about that
because the power of rockin'
does things to a man.
It's true.
I made a lot of my life
decisions at a Foghat concert.
I stand by them.
This night is
full of magic.
Which one of these tables
looks lucky to you, ol' top?
Well, I'm not sure,
but why don't I hold on
to the picnic funds
so you have more room
for your winnings?
Ooh, what about that one?
What about...?
Hold on, I gotta rub
that waiter's head for luck.
Hank, thank you.
None of this would
have been possible
without your advice.
Yeah, that's okay.
I don't really want to take
credit for any of this,
but, uh...
you're welcome, I guess.
Hugged by an Indian!
We're winning big tonight!
Everybody, put your hands
together
for Big... Mountain...
Fudgecake!
( polite applause )
Thank you, Arlen!
And now, here's a
song about a band...
A band that no one gave much
of a chance to,
until one day that band
showed everyone
that they could rock!
A one
and a two and a...
MAN:
Freeze. Police.
( electric guitar grow silent)
All right, folks,
it's over.
Okay, everyone, let's have
a nice orderly egress.
Is this some kind of joke?
We're shutting you down, sir.
This is an illegal
gaming establishment.
But we're on Indian land.
Look at me.
Look at all the headdresses.
Yes, sir, and that
land is in Texas
where there is
no Indian gaming.
No Indian gaming?
Didn't you wonder why
there weren't any other
Indian casinos in Texas?
I thought it would work
to our advantage.
They're wheeling away
our shot at glory,
just like they're wheeling
away them shiny machines.
Fudgecake's in
a bad, bad way.
( yells )
But this is my land.
My one chance
to be heard.
I've already spent
all the money
I borrowed.
How can this be
happening?
Texas tribes traded their
federal gaming rights
for state recognition
of their tribes.
Now, you can let the
folks play for trinkets
and combs and whatnot,
but not for money.
But that's incredibly lame.
Well, yes... but legal.
Hot damn.
That's blackjack!
Congratulations, sir.
Very lucky.
Blackjack pays...
a stuffed lion.
How am I gonna
stick this in a G-string?
Where's everyone going?
They're gonna
miss our show!
This is a sad, sad day.
The white man
never stops putting you down.
"The white man"?
How could you not know
there was no
gaming in Texas?
Look, the dream business is
not extremely detail-oriented.
Anyway,
just stopped by to give
you a friendly reminder.
You still owe us $23,000.
I could sue you.
Possibly, but
you'd spend years
in the white man's courts
fighting
the white man's lawyers--
which we have a lot of.
Instead, I have a solution
that's good for all of us.
Permit to allow
toxic dumping?
Unless you have another way
to come up with the money.
Oh, and, uh, keep in mind
your topsoil
will become very flammable.
Not only have I
failed as a musician,
I'm going to have
to destroy my own land.
My people's land.
Come on, guys.
Did we give up
when I left the "E"
off of all
of our merchandise? No.
And we wore
those "Fudgecak" T-shirts
with pride.
Now, you guys keep
focusing on being stars,
and I'll focus
on a way to fix this.
You look like I feel
whenever I run
over one of my dogs.
Everybody seems pretty happy.
Bloomers has good buzz.
Yep. We sure
pulled it off.
No, Hank-- we all did.
Oh. I mean-- we did!
Psst. Bloomers.
Get in the car!
Why? I just got here.
Hey, I'm driving you to
the green room, ese.
I got all kinds of
cheeses back there.
Gribble?
Got him.
Good. Make him disappear.
You want me to kill him?
What?! No!
Although...
No, just drive him around,
but I'm happy
you're being pro-active.
There are no bad ideas.
I wanna go! I'm bored.
You said this
would be fun!
I thought there was
gonna be Bloomers.
Make Bloomers
be here.
Where the heck
is Bloomers?
Dad, things
are not good.
I've been circulating
among the kids
as "Roberto Hillenbrand,"
and they're bored.
If Bloomers doesn't show up,
there's talk
of a possible egging.
Hank, what the
heck is going on?
I just got a backful
of raw hamburger.
I don't know
what happened, sir.
Now they're tipping
over port-a-johns.
If you got a plan "B,"
you better put it
into action pronto.
Mr. Strickland
makes a good point.
All hell does appear
to be breaking loose.
At least if you
book Fudgecake,
you tried something.
BOY:
Ooh, let's tip this one over.
MAN:
Occupied, honey.
( crashing )
Dale, get me Fudgecake.
We got a gig.
We got a gig!
Aw, wow.
The Strickland
Family Days Picnic.
Family Days?
That ain't
rock and roll.
What does it matter?
An audience is an audience.
Fudgecake don't
play family picnics.
It'd send the
wrong message.
I ain't going.
And I double
ain't going.
Are you crazy?
This is a paying gig...
with hundreds of people!
Yeah, well, the 'cake
don't sell out.
( people muttering )
REDCORN:
Hank.
What in the heck
is going on?
Where's the rest
of the band?
I thought I owed it to you
to tell you in person--
we broke up.
Fudgecake is dead.
( sighs )
Well, I guess I'll go
break it to the crowd
that we don't have
any entertainment.
They'll probably yell
and throw stuff at me.
Then Buck will yell
and throw stuff at me
and fire me.
( sighs ):
Well, maybe that'll be
entertaining for folks.
Hold on a second, Hank.
John Redcorn, you're the heart
and soul of the 'cake, man!
You can play this gig yourself!
Alone? Me?
Besides, kids aren't going
to want to listen to me.
The BMF sound is universal.
You can adapt.
Hmm... I guess there is
that song about killing myself.
I could rewrite it
so it's about personal hygiene.
Love it. Now, go!
Hello, and welcome to
the Strickland Family Fun Day.
I am John Redcorn.
Here's a song I wrote
after government agents
shut down my gambling
establishment
and I wanted to die.
♪ Wake up, just want to... ♪
♪ Wash myself ♪
♪ Clean my wrists ♪
♪ Scrub my brains out ♪
♪ Hey, ya, hey, ya, hey-ya-hey ♪
♪ Hey-ya-hey, hey-ya-hey ♪
♪ They'll miss me when I do... ♪
So, you and your son
having a good time?
♪ Hey, ya, hey, ya, hey ♪
♪ Hey-ya-hey, hey-ya-hey... ♪
♪ There's a hole in the jar
where the cookies should go ♪
♪ There's a hole in the tank
where the fishies should go... ♪
♪ There's a hole,
and a hole, and a hole... ♪
Yeah, when I first
found Redcorn,
he was in some
go-nowhere,
Whitesnake-meets-
White-Lion-meets-Great-
White rip-off group,
but I recreated
him as the Native
American Raffi.
♪ Hey, ya, hey, hey-hey, ya... ♪
REDCORN/KIDS:
* There's a hole,
and a hole, and a hole *
♪ There's a hole,
and a hole, and a hole. ♪
( metal guitars playing )
I'll tell you, Elvin,
this is rock and roll.
Hell, yeah!
Wheedle-leedle-leedle...
( imitating guitar )
Buon giorno,
what can I get you?
Well, what do you recommend to
a couple of real big spenders?
My boyfriend likes
the surf n' turf.
Medium cheese pizza,
two waters. Tap.
Thanks for
inviting me out, sir.
Yeah, yeah, well, this
ain't a social call, son.
You know the Strickland
Propane Family Fun Day?
The Strickland Propane
Family Fun Day?!
We haven't done that
in five years.
Well, glad you liked it
'cause this party is
what I'm giving everyone
instead of health insurance
so we can't mess it up.
That's why I'm putting
you in charge.
I will treat this picnic
with all the gravity
and seriousness it requires.
( microphone feedback )
( tapping on microphone )
Good evening and buon giorno.
The live entertainment portion
of our evening
is about to begin,
so would you please
give a warm welcome
to John Redcorn
and Big Mountain Fudgecake.
John Redcorn?
( strums electric guitar )
( microphone feedback )
Maria's Pasta and Pizza,
are you ready to rock?!
♪ There's a hole in my pocket
where my money should go ♪
( loud '70s rock plays )
♪ There's a hole in my heart
where you used to go ♪
♪ There's a hole ♪
♪ And a hole ♪
♪ And a hole...! ♪
♪ Big ol' hole ♪
( rock guitar solo plays )
( yells ):
Let's get the hell
out of here!
( loud music continues )
So, sir?
What specifically
did you have in mind
for this picnic?
Uh-uh! I delegated.
You're the lead monkey on
the back of this ostrich.
So go make me a picnic!
Hank.
Oh, uh, hey, John Redcorn.
You finished already?
We are finished forever.
Got fired from
playing for free.
It don't get any
lower than that.
That dang manager never got
what Fudgecake is all about.
No one ever does.
We're either
ahead of our times
or possibly way behind,
stuck in some
more classical time.
But either way,
us and our times
aren't seeing eye to eye.
Yeah, well, uh, I'm sure you
and your times will work it out.
I couldn't help overhearing
you have a big event coming up.
Yeah...
And we sure could use
a break, Hank.
We'll, uh...
Don't you like to rock?
Wow, you're sure giving me
a lot to think about here,
uh, but I got the family
waiting at home.
I'll get to work on him.
Dang it!
That is the third piece
of toast you've broken.
And you're always
so careful with your toast.
What's wrong?
( sighs ):
Strickland Family Fun Day.
Do you think
if I got good enough meats
it would count as entertainment?
You got to have
live entertainment, Dad!
Music, magic...
Some people even do both.
Entertainment is the only thing
that distracts people
from realizing how much
they don't like each other.
So what am I gonna be
listening to while I eat this?
I don't know.
Finding a band for under
a hundred dollars
is harder than you think.
Hey, Hank!
The picnic's
going great, sir.
Good, good, 'cause I just got
back from Strickland West
and they've had a tough year
in terms of general
disgruntlement.
Really need this
picnic to be fun.
You see what kind of pressure
I'm under?
You're like one of them
astronauts, honey.
Hank?
Uh...
hey, John Redcorn.
Did you find a band
for your picnic?
No, he didn't.
And the poor bastard's
all twisted up over it.
In the animal kingdom,
many animals work
together in symbiosis.
The oxpecker bird will eat the
ticks and parasites off a zebra.
You and I can be
zebra and oxpecker, too.
But why don't I let our
demo tape do the talking?
( rock guitar plays )
* I am the reaper *
♪ The collector of souls ♪
♪ I am the taker ♪
♪ And the smasher of bowls ♪
♪ Mothers cry ♪
♪ Children die ♪
♪ Alone... ♪
( music stops )
( sighs ):
Okay, I'm sorry,
John Redcorn.
I'm not hiring you.
No way.
I... I see...
You know, you start doing
massage to pay the bills
and you tell yourself,
"Just a few more years
of this, Johnny."
And one day you look
up and you're 40.
You're 40, Hank!
Okay, there, John Redcorn,
you, uh, you make
some good points.
( door closes )
Look, maybe you should stop
waiting for other people
to make things
happen for you.
What does that mean?
Uh, well... maybe
what you need to do
is to, uh,
bet on yourself.
A lot of really
successful people
did that.
Bet on myself?
Sure-- it's your dream,
you make it happen.
Bet on yourself.
Wow, Hank.
You are very wise.
Thank you.
Thank you.
( air hissing )
Dang it, Joe Jack,
that helium is for the picnic.
( squeaky ):
Sorry, honey.
HANK:
The guy asked me
if I wanted honey mustard
and I almost took
a swing at him.
Long story short, I got
a good deal on classic yellow.
The pony guy said what?
What the hell is pony season?
What in the...?
Joe Jack, I'm gonna have
to call you back.
Hey, John Redcorn,
what's going on?
Doing a little
improvement
on your land?
I'm doing an improvement
on my life.
On all of our lives.
You said it.
Isn't it exciting?
I'm following
your advice, Hank.
No more relying
on other people
to wake up and "get" us.
Now, I'm gonna have
a permanent place
to play with my band.
I'm betting on myself
and opening a casino.
But that's crazy.
No, it's brilliant.
Now we have a permanent
venue for Fudgecake to play.
Like Wayne Newton
and the Stardust.
You're a genius,
Uncle Hank.
♪ There's a hole in my pocket
where my money should go ♪
♪ There's a hole ♪
♪ And a hole...! ♪
Wheedle-leedle-leedle...
( imitating guitar )
Oh, God.
So John Redcorn is
opening a casino.
I always wanted to see
a white tiger before I died.
I feel like
it's my fault.
I'm the one who told him
to bet on himself.
If I wasn't so dang busy
finding entertainment
for this picnic,
maybe I could've done
something to stop him.
Relax, Hank.
You know what loosens
the caboose of any party?
Big Mountain Fudgecake!
Want me to see if
they're available?
No.
They've got a super boffo
Bachman-Turner Overdrive
meets Deep Purple
versus ELO kind of sound.
What are you, their manager?
Yes!
Can you believe
the slot was open?
I guess you
were wrong, Hank.
Dreams do come true.
( hard rock )
( clapping )
Evening, gentlemen.
Where can I find John Redcorn?
Oh, he's the visionary
right over there,
the one dripping
with sex appeal and
turquoise jewelry.
Hello, brother Indian.
I am Henry Mankiller with
the Tribal Gaming Corporation.
You got my e-mail!
Cool Web site.
Yes, and I hope you are
enjoying your subscription
to Gaming Nation.
Exactly what kind
of Indian are you?
I am 1/64th Creek
on my mother's side.
So about your casino.
Actually, it's just temporary.
To get our band going.
Let's show him.
♪ Gotta get money
for the things I wanna buy ♪
♪ Gotta get money so in the
plane they'll let me fly ♪
♪ Gotta get money
or else I'm gonna die... ♪
( dogs howling in distance
This is where
the drum solo usually goes.
With a sound like that,
you're not going to need
gaming for long.
I completely get that.
But we can accelerate
the process.
We are, after all, in
the dream building business.
We got a dream
that needs building.
You see... we are one-stop
shopping for everything casino.
We can save you
the hassles of dealing
with the white man's loan
officers by financing everything
through our tribal
development division.
That means your band
is making gold records
that much faster.
This pen has been used
by many of our people
to apply for financing.
Do I look like I know
what a JPEG is?
I just want a picture
of a got-dang hot dog!
Dad, the news is not good.
Swing band... no.
'50s tribute band... no.
Even the polka band... no.
Well, there was this one guy.
I think he felt sorry
for us.
His name is Bloomers.
He does "imagitainment."
Well, I have a band.
Call Bloomers.
You're almost there.
A little more.
That's it.
Let's open with "I Need Money."
We can transition
to "Gotta Get Money"
and do a whole money medley.
I love that song!
♪ Gotta get money for the stuff
I wanna buy! ♪
We are going to do
some serious rocking.
And then people are
going to hear us and love us
and we're gonna be huge.
This is so exciting!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, I bought
a whole bunch
of make-ups for
y'all to wear.
( groans )
Uh, Luanne?
Can I speak
to you, outside?
Listen, Yoko.
I'm the manager
of this act
and I'm sick of you trying
to split them apart.
What's a Yoko?
Okay, Missy, that's it.
If you ever come within
100 feet of Fudgecake again,
I will spend the rest
of my life
making you miserable.
I'm gonna... my
purse is inside...
Get!
Is this fun?
I suggest you book
Fudgecake now,
because after
the casino opens,
they might be
too big for you.
They're gonna be helping
kings and dignitaries
get their groove on.
They're not right for us, Dale.
There are going to be
little kids at this picnic.
And we already hired someone.
Bloomers.
Fine, but can I at
least count on you all
to be there tonight
for the Fudgecake
when they open the casino?
Well, I do have to be there
to keep an eye on Buck.
He wants to "parlay"
the picnic money
on the gaming tables.
Don't be surprised if Buck
forgets all about that
because the power of rockin'
does things to a man.
It's true.
I made a lot of my life
decisions at a Foghat concert.
I stand by them.
This night is
full of magic.
Which one of these tables
looks lucky to you, ol' top?
Well, I'm not sure,
but why don't I hold on
to the picnic funds
so you have more room
for your winnings?
Ooh, what about that one?
What about...?
Hold on, I gotta rub
that waiter's head for luck.
Hank, thank you.
None of this would
have been possible
without your advice.
Yeah, that's okay.
I don't really want to take
credit for any of this,
but, uh...
you're welcome, I guess.
Hugged by an Indian!
We're winning big tonight!
Everybody, put your hands
together
for Big... Mountain...
Fudgecake!
( polite applause )
Thank you, Arlen!
And now, here's a
song about a band...
A band that no one gave much
of a chance to,
until one day that band
showed everyone
that they could rock!
A one
and a two and a...
MAN:
Freeze. Police.
( electric guitar grow silent)
All right, folks,
it's over.
Okay, everyone, let's have
a nice orderly egress.
Is this some kind of joke?
We're shutting you down, sir.
This is an illegal
gaming establishment.
But we're on Indian land.
Look at me.
Look at all the headdresses.
Yes, sir, and that
land is in Texas
where there is
no Indian gaming.
No Indian gaming?
Didn't you wonder why
there weren't any other
Indian casinos in Texas?
I thought it would work
to our advantage.
They're wheeling away
our shot at glory,
just like they're wheeling
away them shiny machines.
Fudgecake's in
a bad, bad way.
( yells )
But this is my land.
My one chance
to be heard.
I've already spent
all the money
I borrowed.
How can this be
happening?
Texas tribes traded their
federal gaming rights
for state recognition
of their tribes.
Now, you can let the
folks play for trinkets
and combs and whatnot,
but not for money.
But that's incredibly lame.
Well, yes... but legal.
Hot damn.
That's blackjack!
Congratulations, sir.
Very lucky.
Blackjack pays...
a stuffed lion.
How am I gonna
stick this in a G-string?
Where's everyone going?
They're gonna
miss our show!
This is a sad, sad day.
The white man
never stops putting you down.
"The white man"?
How could you not know
there was no
gaming in Texas?
Look, the dream business is
not extremely detail-oriented.
Anyway,
just stopped by to give
you a friendly reminder.
You still owe us $23,000.
I could sue you.
Possibly, but
you'd spend years
in the white man's courts
fighting
the white man's lawyers--
which we have a lot of.
Instead, I have a solution
that's good for all of us.
Permit to allow
toxic dumping?
Unless you have another way
to come up with the money.
Oh, and, uh, keep in mind
your topsoil
will become very flammable.
Not only have I
failed as a musician,
I'm going to have
to destroy my own land.
My people's land.
Come on, guys.
Did we give up
when I left the "E"
off of all
of our merchandise? No.
And we wore
those "Fudgecak" T-shirts
with pride.
Now, you guys keep
focusing on being stars,
and I'll focus
on a way to fix this.
You look like I feel
whenever I run
over one of my dogs.
Everybody seems pretty happy.
Bloomers has good buzz.
Yep. We sure
pulled it off.
No, Hank-- we all did.
Oh. I mean-- we did!
Psst. Bloomers.
Get in the car!
Why? I just got here.
Hey, I'm driving you to
the green room, ese.
I got all kinds of
cheeses back there.
Gribble?
Got him.
Good. Make him disappear.
You want me to kill him?
What?! No!
Although...
No, just drive him around,
but I'm happy
you're being pro-active.
There are no bad ideas.
I wanna go! I'm bored.
You said this
would be fun!
I thought there was
gonna be Bloomers.
Make Bloomers
be here.
Where the heck
is Bloomers?
Dad, things
are not good.
I've been circulating
among the kids
as "Roberto Hillenbrand,"
and they're bored.
If Bloomers doesn't show up,
there's talk
of a possible egging.
Hank, what the
heck is going on?
I just got a backful
of raw hamburger.
I don't know
what happened, sir.
Now they're tipping
over port-a-johns.
If you got a plan "B,"
you better put it
into action pronto.
Mr. Strickland
makes a good point.
All hell does appear
to be breaking loose.
At least if you
book Fudgecake,
you tried something.
BOY:
Ooh, let's tip this one over.
MAN:
Occupied, honey.
( crashing )
Dale, get me Fudgecake.
We got a gig.
We got a gig!
Aw, wow.
The Strickland
Family Days Picnic.
Family Days?
That ain't
rock and roll.
What does it matter?
An audience is an audience.
Fudgecake don't
play family picnics.
It'd send the
wrong message.
I ain't going.
And I double
ain't going.
Are you crazy?
This is a paying gig...
with hundreds of people!
Yeah, well, the 'cake
don't sell out.
( people muttering )
REDCORN:
Hank.
What in the heck
is going on?
Where's the rest
of the band?
I thought I owed it to you
to tell you in person--
we broke up.
Fudgecake is dead.
( sighs )
Well, I guess I'll go
break it to the crowd
that we don't have
any entertainment.
They'll probably yell
and throw stuff at me.
Then Buck will yell
and throw stuff at me
and fire me.
( sighs ):
Well, maybe that'll be
entertaining for folks.
Hold on a second, Hank.
John Redcorn, you're the heart
and soul of the 'cake, man!
You can play this gig yourself!
Alone? Me?
Besides, kids aren't going
to want to listen to me.
The BMF sound is universal.
You can adapt.
Hmm... I guess there is
that song about killing myself.
I could rewrite it
so it's about personal hygiene.
Love it. Now, go!
Hello, and welcome to
the Strickland Family Fun Day.
I am John Redcorn.
Here's a song I wrote
after government agents
shut down my gambling
establishment
and I wanted to die.
♪ Wake up, just want to... ♪
♪ Wash myself ♪
♪ Clean my wrists ♪
♪ Scrub my brains out ♪
♪ Hey, ya, hey, ya, hey-ya-hey ♪
♪ Hey-ya-hey, hey-ya-hey ♪
♪ They'll miss me when I do... ♪
So, you and your son
having a good time?
♪ Hey, ya, hey, ya, hey ♪
♪ Hey-ya-hey, hey-ya-hey... ♪
♪ There's a hole in the jar
where the cookies should go ♪
♪ There's a hole in the tank
where the fishies should go... ♪
♪ There's a hole,
and a hole, and a hole... ♪
Yeah, when I first
found Redcorn,
he was in some
go-nowhere,
Whitesnake-meets-
White-Lion-meets-Great-
White rip-off group,
but I recreated
him as the Native
American Raffi.
♪ Hey, ya, hey, hey-hey, ya... ♪
REDCORN/KIDS:
* There's a hole,
and a hole, and a hole *
♪ There's a hole,
and a hole, and a hole. ♪
( metal guitars playing )
I'll tell you, Elvin,
this is rock and roll.
Hell, yeah!
Wheedle-leedle-leedle...
( imitating guitar )