King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 3, Episode 13 - De-Kahnstructing Henry - full transcript
Hank inadvertently causes Kahn to lose his job.
Yes, I do know
the temperature.
Outside temperature
is 98.6.
My body temperature
is 63 degrees.
( chuckles )
wait a minute.
( laughing )
out of way of working man.
I try to get home.
Kahn, even old lady matlow
can drive down the alley
without asking anyone
to move.
What's that say
about you?
I leave for work
when you sleeping.
I come home when you drinking.
What that say about you?
So the man likes
to drink, so what?
It say you not get promotion.
Same old job for you.
Great new project for kahn.
Come with company car.
Inflatable side curtains
almost make you want to crash.
I don't need a promotion.
As assistant manager
of strickland propane
i'm already at the top.
Yeah. Okay.
I leave you to think
about that one.
( snickering )
game, set and match:
hank hill.
Heineken or beck?
Beck.
Dark or light?
Dark. Beck dark.
Oh, shoot, I gamble and lose.
Just have heineken
and beck light.
No dark beer
for new system manager
of coordinated project systems?
Oh, kahn!
It is finally yours.
Do you remember
your last promotion?
We had pa son pate
all night long.
Make love to me.
no!
( howling with laughter )
( gasping ):
aw...
Kahn:
boy, howdy!
Where's redneck?
So, kahn, you need
some propane?
Haven't they
replaced you
with a coin-operated
machine yet?
( sighing ):
just give me
your tank.
I need it filled
to the top this time.
No more screwing me.
I have big party tomorrow
to celebrate my promotion.
I new systems manager.
"systems manager."
Well, hell, I like
the sound of that.
Debbie, that's
your new title.
No! She not in systems.
You disrespect important job.
Well, I can't imagine
anything more important
than what debbie does.
So, uh, so, what kind of
systems do you manage, kahn?
Like a phone system?
Aw, I can't tell you.
We have big army contract.
So, kahn, these phones
that you answer--
Do they sit on a big, fancy
desk, like in a lobby, say?
Hank, you come
to work with me.
You see, it humble you.
No, I don't
think so, kahn.
You see, we have phones
right here in the office.
( chuckles )
I give you tour.
Maybe we give you
big propane contract.
So, you're looking
for a propane contractor.
Well, you know, we at strickland
propane believe that...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
we be big client.
You sure you can handle this
by yourself?
Maybe I need
more senior redneck.
No. I-i-i, uh... You
got me there, kahn.
We at strickland
propane believe...
( groans )
so, if you could tell me
a little bit
about the company's propane
needs, then I can...
This all mine, hank--
private office.
You got such a bug
in your bonnet
about phones?
Check this out.
I call france on this phone
whenever I want.
France, europe,
huckleberry.
No window?
Na-hah! For security.
Look at this computer.
Fastest processors
in the world.
You got to do
your own typing, huh?
Okay, you come with me.
Hank, you tell anyone
about any of this stuff
they will hunt you down.
You don't have
the clearance.
Nobody trust you
like they trust me.
Now prepare your brain
for razzle-dazzle!
Kahn, I don't have to play golf
with you to sell you
because propane
hits a hole in one
every time.
Now...
Whoa!
Company created
most resilient
ceramic composite ever.
Army want to use it
on all new tanks.
We put it on
this golf club...
Bango!
Ball go 400 yards
every time.
You try. Go ahead.
Take a swing.
( gasping ):
oh...
Impressive?
Yeah.
Aha! You impressed
with kahn's great job.
Huh?
No, no, I'm not.
Too late--
you say it.
Baha!
You impressed-- I win.
Now... Get off my
company's property!
If this is your way
of negotiating
it's working.
Now, I'm prepared
to offer you
a five percent
discount per gallon.
No one want
your dinosaur gas.
This whole place run
on underground fuel cells
that safer
and more efficient.
You mean this whole time...
Yeah. I yank you all afternoon.
( laughing )
you know, this can
never get back to kahn
but after swinging
that club
I literally felt
like dancing.
You know,
in japan
a round of golf
costs $12,000.
You play
from rooftop to rooftop.
The balls are made
out of rice somehow.
And when
you're all done
you got to go home
and sleep in a tube.
You know, I work
in the military
and I have never even
heard of that club.
Hank, you ever
have any regrets
that you didn't go
into systems?
Well, if I couldn't
sell propane like...
Like if I hit my head
and went dumb
and just couldn't
be trusted with it
then, yeah, I might consider
going into systems.
The wind was
really against you
in the back nine, general.
No one could drive
through that.
You did. If you're
going to suck up
make some sense
of it, man.
Well, general
you should try that new club
with the special ceramic
you're developing
with the composite company.
400 yards, every drive--
That's what I hear.
Well, didn't you all
know about the club?
Maybe I shouldn't
have said nothing.
We're going to use that stuff
on our tanks.
Private taylor is gay.
As tu fais
du bicyclette recenment?
Non. J'attend pour
une nouveau bicyclette
avec le cool suspension.
Kahn, we're terminating
your contract.
This business
call, I swear.
I pay for it--
just bill me.
Kahn, you broke
your security agreement.
Vacate the building
within four minutes... Please.
I didn't say
anything to anybody.
Aw, dang.
Say, look-- there's
a ta... It's a taxi.
Dale:
company car trouble, kahn?
Hank hill, you sell me out.
You blab secrets
everywhere
and I get fired.
I didn't. Dale...
Are you posting
our conversations
on the internet again?
Conversations, no.
Actions, whereabouts,
your mowing schedule--
No comment.
See, kahn, nobody
told anybody anything.
I was having a casual
conversation with the general.
I didn't know
we were on the record.
Hank, I confide in you
and you go tell your dog?
They were your secrets
for you to keep.
Now, I'm sorry you were fired,
but it was your own fault.
You sorry for kahn?!
Kahn sitting pretty.
I got severance package
bigger than a year of...
Your salary.
( laughs )
joke's on him.
I don't even make
a living wage.
( chuckles )
hey, peggy, did you hear?
Kahn lost his job.
( mirthless chuckle )
aah, boy,
it's just awful.
Well, systems
is like that.
It's a crazy business.
Why'd you do it, hank?
Do what?
Oh, good lord, hank.
Everybody knows
you can't tell bill anything.
Hey, don't try to make me
into the bad guy.
Kahn's the bad guy.
He leaked government secrets.
He's lucky
they didn't shoot him.
You know who's responsible
for gossip? Gossipers.
You are nothing
but a chatty cathy, hank.
A giant, 200-pound
chatty cathy.
Hi. I heard kahn
lost his job
and that reminded me
I still hadn't
returned your bowl.
Oh, thank you
for dropping by,
peggy hill
but we gonna be just fine.
Something like this
only make us appreciate
how many things we have.
How many, many things.
Just look around you.
Take your time
for peggy hill.
Savor, like you
in museum.
Well, very, very nice.
Oh, breadmaker,
mm-hmm.
Oh, fruit processor.
Oh! A ceramic panda.
Huh, what do you know?
Well, when you need
a shoulder to cry on
I am just across the yard.
As doyle harcavy says
"shoulders make
the best tissues."
...with the marine forecast.
a small...
I fill out form.
I unemployed.
Where my check?!
I'm sorry, sir.
Your past employer
apparently has filed
an objection.
Let's see here.
Under reason for dismissal,
they checked "other"
and then wrote in "treason."
Where my check?!
I'm sorry. Next.
Shackleford, rusty.
Here you go,
mr. Shackleford.
Thank you.
Well, all right, kahn.
You know, you almost look
good enough to sell propane.
You got a job interview already?
You need interview.
I got job-- good job!
In reprographic
imaging industry.
Hey, man, I'm having
a concert this sunday.
Could I put up one of my
posters in your window?
Get out before I
three-hole punch your face!
Dale:
help! I'm stuck.
Mayday!
Well, well, well.
How the mighty have fallen.
Anyhoo, this is what
i'm trying to do:
combine my logo with
a personal message.
Do you now how to
work paintbrush?
Wait. First...
I need you to swear
that what you see here
goes no further
given your history of blabbing
about every top-secret thing
that comes your way.
( frustrated groan )
I can't help you!
I can't help any
of you stupid people!
"how does this machine work,
mr. Kahn?"
"how do I print?"
"how do I save?"
it "control-s," you morons.
It's always "control-s"!
All right, that's
three strikes, kahn.
You're fired.
Three?! That's only two!
I heard what you said
to Mr. Mangione.
( defeated sigh )
see, the man
can't keep a job.
It's his personality--
not me.
Does this mean
connie's broke, too?
They have all got
nothing, bobby.
Connie, too.
nothing.
That's why
I've asked minh
to teach laotian
to bobby.
It's a way to
give them money
without humiliating
them so terribly.
Well, I suppose we could throw
a couple of bucks his way
and, uh, I mean two bucks.
Bobby, there are
only four tone markers
in the laotian language.
Four. That's not so bad.
And 42 consonants and 35 vowel
and vowel clusters.
Connie:
oh, bobby
pretty soon we'll have
a secret language
we can speak in school.
No, connie.
I teach him
southern dialect.
He not the same class.
Hey, flabbermouth.
You break it,
you buy it.
Peggy hill,
so glad you came.
Let me show you
what designer
clothes look like.
Maybe you interested.
Kahn, I love this
ceramic panda
marine radio.
How much?
It too much for you.
No price is
too high.
Just name it.
$700.
Sold.
I mean, $800.
Sold!
No, I take this
off the market.
Delicate equipment
not for redneck.
Kahn, you sell him
that stupid panda.
We need the money.
no!
Yes! You sabotage our sale.
Gribble, make the check
out to me.
With pleasure.
And your name is?
Ahhggg!
Now nobody buy it.
Happy?!
Everyone get off my lawn!
off!
And stay off
or I turn hose on you!
Minh, where my hose?
It went quickly.
( sighs sadly )
the man attacked
his own garage sale, peggy.
He's gone insane.
Hank, you have
to understand.
Kahn, is well aware
that he has been reduced
to the status
of a cafeteria worker.
And you, my dear, you put
that hair net on his head.
Peggy, is it my fault
he makes people hate him?
I don't whisper in his ear
every morning "be a jerk."
That comes from within.
Dad, can I have 15 ngeun bak-gow
for my laotian lesson?
Ngeun bak-gow
better not mean dollar.
( sighs ):
that's it.
Hello, minh. Where's kahn?
Go shout through bathroom door.
He lock himself in.
Nothing wrong with that.
You're supposed
to lock the door.
It helps avoid
embarrassing mishaps.
He not talking to me.
Excuse me.
Things right now...
You know.
This not the first time
khan fired.
Orange county, portland,
mississippi, for god's sake.
Well, the severance that
khan told me about...
Oh, there's no severance,
hear me?
Khan leaked secret.
Broke the contract.
We get nothing.
We live from paycheck
to paycheck
and now we broker
than a stone.
Listen, ah, peggy and I
have just been marveling
at bobby's progress
with laotian so...
Well, I thought I'd pay
for ten lessons up front.
Yeah. Good idea.
What you doing?
We are not charity case.
Yes, we are.
You make us one.
Oh-ho, so, now it's
my fault I fired?
I'm out of here.
( car starts )
( tires screech )
yep.
yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Minh:
connie?
Connie, cow
mah nung num cu!
Mae', how linv
num moo how?
Cow ma nie diao nee!
Tah cawp cuah took
jow gaw took ku gun.
I gotta go.
What was that about?
That was a series
of vowel clusters.
Please tell me
I never looked that bad.
Well, kahn's been gone
for three days
and hasn't so much
as called.
I'll bet he's on an adventure.
It's not him
i'm thinking about.
I mean, what would you do
if dale just suddenly left you
high and dry like that?
Oh, sug, I wouldn't get
out of bed for a week.
Why don't you go
help her out, honey?
Well, the neighborly
thing to do is to
keep our distance.
( sighs )
oh, my!
Need a hand there?
Oh, I surrounded by trash.
Kahn, used to say that
when he look at neighbors.
Well, if there's
anything else you need...
Refrigerator
make terrible noise.
It will break
any second.
Gutters are clogged,
bedroom door stuck
lawn go wild
like jungle.
Come, get your ladder.
Come on, hank hill,
you go on roof now.
So, hank, I certainly
have noticed
how helpful
you've been to minh.
Yeah, and I told her
i'd seal her
driveway tomorrow.
But what about drinking
in the alley?
Yes, exactly.
I can't get
this time back.
I'm just trying to
do the neighborly thing
like you said.
Well, just try
to keep in mind
we don't like them
very much, remember?
It's like he's got
two families.
Two families.
I think that's unfair
when some of us
don't even have the one.
I'd think he likes
being bossed
around by women
if I didn't know
better, which I don't.
Bill.
hank.
Dale.
Hank.
Boomhauer.
Hank.
Polygamist!
( grunts )
minh, uh, I think
what you need is
a new compressor cable
right here.
Preferably a copper one.
So, how would
I get that part?
From the hardware store.
That kind of
far away, right?
Yeah.
( sighs )
i'll pick one up for you.
I was going
to head over there myself.
Just for fun, though.
Is that...?
Where the hell
have you been?
Looking for new wife
since you buy mine.
I was just paying her
for laotian lessons.
And do you know
what I'm doing now?
Buying a part
for your damn refrigerator.
Not in there!
I got shirts soaking
in woolite.
Kahn, go home
and take care of business.
I not go back
without new kickass job.
I show you.
I get job that make you cry
every day.
Look, kahn
I love propane
through-and-through
but-- okay, I'll
give you this.
You're old job was
something else, okay?
Now, go home.
No. I can't fail.
This not supposed
to happen to me.
I'm asian, for god's sake.
More expected of me.
You not understand.
You somebody's worker bee.
If I accept
your redneck life
it like I bury
myself alive.
What about minh and connie?
You my best friend.
You take care of them.
I'm your best friend?
No, I take it back.
Nobody takes care of them.
Time's hard,
but minh's a fighter.
They be okay.
Why you keep watching
me, you pervert?
Somebody get the manager!
noi.
noi.
( snickering )
no. Noi.
noi.
No. Noi.
Bobby, dinner's ready.
Oh, uh, by the way
I accidentally
picked up an extra
bucket of chicken
on the way home, if
you guys are interested.
How do you know
it's extra yet?
( horn honking )
kahn, you got a lot of
( speaks laotian )
to come back here.
I got new job.
Make $20,000 more a year.
Okay. Maybe I let
you back in
but you sleep
on the couch.
I thought you'd be happy
so we pack up quickly.
Job in houston.
Oh, no. I'm not
moving again.
People here grudgingly
accept us.
That's rare.
It three-hour drive.
Not negotiable.
You commute.
Hey, neighbor.
Maybe I buy
your house.
Storage for
my old things.
What you think
of that?
My house is not for sale.
Oh, then I guess I buy your bank
and foreclose on you.
( chuckles )
that's a good one, khan.
Are you laughing or crying
because of my great new car?
Turbo engine, halogen light,
six-cd changer in trunk.
In the trunk?
Well, if you need a hand
installing it in your dash
let me know.
It supposed
to be in trunk.
It plays cds in trunk.
Why? Who's going to want
to ride in the trunk?
You wish you could ride
in my trunk.
My trunk so plush,
it like movie star trunk.
Well, you got
me there, khan.
My trunk is not like
a movie star trunk.
It's just a
family-man trunk.
Thank you, hank.
Kahn: prepare your brain
for razzle-dazzle!
the temperature.
Outside temperature
is 98.6.
My body temperature
is 63 degrees.
( chuckles )
wait a minute.
( laughing )
out of way of working man.
I try to get home.
Kahn, even old lady matlow
can drive down the alley
without asking anyone
to move.
What's that say
about you?
I leave for work
when you sleeping.
I come home when you drinking.
What that say about you?
So the man likes
to drink, so what?
It say you not get promotion.
Same old job for you.
Great new project for kahn.
Come with company car.
Inflatable side curtains
almost make you want to crash.
I don't need a promotion.
As assistant manager
of strickland propane
i'm already at the top.
Yeah. Okay.
I leave you to think
about that one.
( snickering )
game, set and match:
hank hill.
Heineken or beck?
Beck.
Dark or light?
Dark. Beck dark.
Oh, shoot, I gamble and lose.
Just have heineken
and beck light.
No dark beer
for new system manager
of coordinated project systems?
Oh, kahn!
It is finally yours.
Do you remember
your last promotion?
We had pa son pate
all night long.
Make love to me.
no!
( howling with laughter )
( gasping ):
aw...
Kahn:
boy, howdy!
Where's redneck?
So, kahn, you need
some propane?
Haven't they
replaced you
with a coin-operated
machine yet?
( sighing ):
just give me
your tank.
I need it filled
to the top this time.
No more screwing me.
I have big party tomorrow
to celebrate my promotion.
I new systems manager.
"systems manager."
Well, hell, I like
the sound of that.
Debbie, that's
your new title.
No! She not in systems.
You disrespect important job.
Well, I can't imagine
anything more important
than what debbie does.
So, uh, so, what kind of
systems do you manage, kahn?
Like a phone system?
Aw, I can't tell you.
We have big army contract.
So, kahn, these phones
that you answer--
Do they sit on a big, fancy
desk, like in a lobby, say?
Hank, you come
to work with me.
You see, it humble you.
No, I don't
think so, kahn.
You see, we have phones
right here in the office.
( chuckles )
I give you tour.
Maybe we give you
big propane contract.
So, you're looking
for a propane contractor.
Well, you know, we at strickland
propane believe that...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
we be big client.
You sure you can handle this
by yourself?
Maybe I need
more senior redneck.
No. I-i-i, uh... You
got me there, kahn.
We at strickland
propane believe...
( groans )
so, if you could tell me
a little bit
about the company's propane
needs, then I can...
This all mine, hank--
private office.
You got such a bug
in your bonnet
about phones?
Check this out.
I call france on this phone
whenever I want.
France, europe,
huckleberry.
No window?
Na-hah! For security.
Look at this computer.
Fastest processors
in the world.
You got to do
your own typing, huh?
Okay, you come with me.
Hank, you tell anyone
about any of this stuff
they will hunt you down.
You don't have
the clearance.
Nobody trust you
like they trust me.
Now prepare your brain
for razzle-dazzle!
Kahn, I don't have to play golf
with you to sell you
because propane
hits a hole in one
every time.
Now...
Whoa!
Company created
most resilient
ceramic composite ever.
Army want to use it
on all new tanks.
We put it on
this golf club...
Bango!
Ball go 400 yards
every time.
You try. Go ahead.
Take a swing.
( gasping ):
oh...
Impressive?
Yeah.
Aha! You impressed
with kahn's great job.
Huh?
No, no, I'm not.
Too late--
you say it.
Baha!
You impressed-- I win.
Now... Get off my
company's property!
If this is your way
of negotiating
it's working.
Now, I'm prepared
to offer you
a five percent
discount per gallon.
No one want
your dinosaur gas.
This whole place run
on underground fuel cells
that safer
and more efficient.
You mean this whole time...
Yeah. I yank you all afternoon.
( laughing )
you know, this can
never get back to kahn
but after swinging
that club
I literally felt
like dancing.
You know,
in japan
a round of golf
costs $12,000.
You play
from rooftop to rooftop.
The balls are made
out of rice somehow.
And when
you're all done
you got to go home
and sleep in a tube.
You know, I work
in the military
and I have never even
heard of that club.
Hank, you ever
have any regrets
that you didn't go
into systems?
Well, if I couldn't
sell propane like...
Like if I hit my head
and went dumb
and just couldn't
be trusted with it
then, yeah, I might consider
going into systems.
The wind was
really against you
in the back nine, general.
No one could drive
through that.
You did. If you're
going to suck up
make some sense
of it, man.
Well, general
you should try that new club
with the special ceramic
you're developing
with the composite company.
400 yards, every drive--
That's what I hear.
Well, didn't you all
know about the club?
Maybe I shouldn't
have said nothing.
We're going to use that stuff
on our tanks.
Private taylor is gay.
As tu fais
du bicyclette recenment?
Non. J'attend pour
une nouveau bicyclette
avec le cool suspension.
Kahn, we're terminating
your contract.
This business
call, I swear.
I pay for it--
just bill me.
Kahn, you broke
your security agreement.
Vacate the building
within four minutes... Please.
I didn't say
anything to anybody.
Aw, dang.
Say, look-- there's
a ta... It's a taxi.
Dale:
company car trouble, kahn?
Hank hill, you sell me out.
You blab secrets
everywhere
and I get fired.
I didn't. Dale...
Are you posting
our conversations
on the internet again?
Conversations, no.
Actions, whereabouts,
your mowing schedule--
No comment.
See, kahn, nobody
told anybody anything.
I was having a casual
conversation with the general.
I didn't know
we were on the record.
Hank, I confide in you
and you go tell your dog?
They were your secrets
for you to keep.
Now, I'm sorry you were fired,
but it was your own fault.
You sorry for kahn?!
Kahn sitting pretty.
I got severance package
bigger than a year of...
Your salary.
( laughs )
joke's on him.
I don't even make
a living wage.
( chuckles )
hey, peggy, did you hear?
Kahn lost his job.
( mirthless chuckle )
aah, boy,
it's just awful.
Well, systems
is like that.
It's a crazy business.
Why'd you do it, hank?
Do what?
Oh, good lord, hank.
Everybody knows
you can't tell bill anything.
Hey, don't try to make me
into the bad guy.
Kahn's the bad guy.
He leaked government secrets.
He's lucky
they didn't shoot him.
You know who's responsible
for gossip? Gossipers.
You are nothing
but a chatty cathy, hank.
A giant, 200-pound
chatty cathy.
Hi. I heard kahn
lost his job
and that reminded me
I still hadn't
returned your bowl.
Oh, thank you
for dropping by,
peggy hill
but we gonna be just fine.
Something like this
only make us appreciate
how many things we have.
How many, many things.
Just look around you.
Take your time
for peggy hill.
Savor, like you
in museum.
Well, very, very nice.
Oh, breadmaker,
mm-hmm.
Oh, fruit processor.
Oh! A ceramic panda.
Huh, what do you know?
Well, when you need
a shoulder to cry on
I am just across the yard.
As doyle harcavy says
"shoulders make
the best tissues."
...with the marine forecast.
a small...
I fill out form.
I unemployed.
Where my check?!
I'm sorry, sir.
Your past employer
apparently has filed
an objection.
Let's see here.
Under reason for dismissal,
they checked "other"
and then wrote in "treason."
Where my check?!
I'm sorry. Next.
Shackleford, rusty.
Here you go,
mr. Shackleford.
Thank you.
Well, all right, kahn.
You know, you almost look
good enough to sell propane.
You got a job interview already?
You need interview.
I got job-- good job!
In reprographic
imaging industry.
Hey, man, I'm having
a concert this sunday.
Could I put up one of my
posters in your window?
Get out before I
three-hole punch your face!
Dale:
help! I'm stuck.
Mayday!
Well, well, well.
How the mighty have fallen.
Anyhoo, this is what
i'm trying to do:
combine my logo with
a personal message.
Do you now how to
work paintbrush?
Wait. First...
I need you to swear
that what you see here
goes no further
given your history of blabbing
about every top-secret thing
that comes your way.
( frustrated groan )
I can't help you!
I can't help any
of you stupid people!
"how does this machine work,
mr. Kahn?"
"how do I print?"
"how do I save?"
it "control-s," you morons.
It's always "control-s"!
All right, that's
three strikes, kahn.
You're fired.
Three?! That's only two!
I heard what you said
to Mr. Mangione.
( defeated sigh )
see, the man
can't keep a job.
It's his personality--
not me.
Does this mean
connie's broke, too?
They have all got
nothing, bobby.
Connie, too.
nothing.
That's why
I've asked minh
to teach laotian
to bobby.
It's a way to
give them money
without humiliating
them so terribly.
Well, I suppose we could throw
a couple of bucks his way
and, uh, I mean two bucks.
Bobby, there are
only four tone markers
in the laotian language.
Four. That's not so bad.
And 42 consonants and 35 vowel
and vowel clusters.
Connie:
oh, bobby
pretty soon we'll have
a secret language
we can speak in school.
No, connie.
I teach him
southern dialect.
He not the same class.
Hey, flabbermouth.
You break it,
you buy it.
Peggy hill,
so glad you came.
Let me show you
what designer
clothes look like.
Maybe you interested.
Kahn, I love this
ceramic panda
marine radio.
How much?
It too much for you.
No price is
too high.
Just name it.
$700.
Sold.
I mean, $800.
Sold!
No, I take this
off the market.
Delicate equipment
not for redneck.
Kahn, you sell him
that stupid panda.
We need the money.
no!
Yes! You sabotage our sale.
Gribble, make the check
out to me.
With pleasure.
And your name is?
Ahhggg!
Now nobody buy it.
Happy?!
Everyone get off my lawn!
off!
And stay off
or I turn hose on you!
Minh, where my hose?
It went quickly.
( sighs sadly )
the man attacked
his own garage sale, peggy.
He's gone insane.
Hank, you have
to understand.
Kahn, is well aware
that he has been reduced
to the status
of a cafeteria worker.
And you, my dear, you put
that hair net on his head.
Peggy, is it my fault
he makes people hate him?
I don't whisper in his ear
every morning "be a jerk."
That comes from within.
Dad, can I have 15 ngeun bak-gow
for my laotian lesson?
Ngeun bak-gow
better not mean dollar.
( sighs ):
that's it.
Hello, minh. Where's kahn?
Go shout through bathroom door.
He lock himself in.
Nothing wrong with that.
You're supposed
to lock the door.
It helps avoid
embarrassing mishaps.
He not talking to me.
Excuse me.
Things right now...
You know.
This not the first time
khan fired.
Orange county, portland,
mississippi, for god's sake.
Well, the severance that
khan told me about...
Oh, there's no severance,
hear me?
Khan leaked secret.
Broke the contract.
We get nothing.
We live from paycheck
to paycheck
and now we broker
than a stone.
Listen, ah, peggy and I
have just been marveling
at bobby's progress
with laotian so...
Well, I thought I'd pay
for ten lessons up front.
Yeah. Good idea.
What you doing?
We are not charity case.
Yes, we are.
You make us one.
Oh-ho, so, now it's
my fault I fired?
I'm out of here.
( car starts )
( tires screech )
yep.
yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Minh:
connie?
Connie, cow
mah nung num cu!
Mae', how linv
num moo how?
Cow ma nie diao nee!
Tah cawp cuah took
jow gaw took ku gun.
I gotta go.
What was that about?
That was a series
of vowel clusters.
Please tell me
I never looked that bad.
Well, kahn's been gone
for three days
and hasn't so much
as called.
I'll bet he's on an adventure.
It's not him
i'm thinking about.
I mean, what would you do
if dale just suddenly left you
high and dry like that?
Oh, sug, I wouldn't get
out of bed for a week.
Why don't you go
help her out, honey?
Well, the neighborly
thing to do is to
keep our distance.
( sighs )
oh, my!
Need a hand there?
Oh, I surrounded by trash.
Kahn, used to say that
when he look at neighbors.
Well, if there's
anything else you need...
Refrigerator
make terrible noise.
It will break
any second.
Gutters are clogged,
bedroom door stuck
lawn go wild
like jungle.
Come, get your ladder.
Come on, hank hill,
you go on roof now.
So, hank, I certainly
have noticed
how helpful
you've been to minh.
Yeah, and I told her
i'd seal her
driveway tomorrow.
But what about drinking
in the alley?
Yes, exactly.
I can't get
this time back.
I'm just trying to
do the neighborly thing
like you said.
Well, just try
to keep in mind
we don't like them
very much, remember?
It's like he's got
two families.
Two families.
I think that's unfair
when some of us
don't even have the one.
I'd think he likes
being bossed
around by women
if I didn't know
better, which I don't.
Bill.
hank.
Dale.
Hank.
Boomhauer.
Hank.
Polygamist!
( grunts )
minh, uh, I think
what you need is
a new compressor cable
right here.
Preferably a copper one.
So, how would
I get that part?
From the hardware store.
That kind of
far away, right?
Yeah.
( sighs )
i'll pick one up for you.
I was going
to head over there myself.
Just for fun, though.
Is that...?
Where the hell
have you been?
Looking for new wife
since you buy mine.
I was just paying her
for laotian lessons.
And do you know
what I'm doing now?
Buying a part
for your damn refrigerator.
Not in there!
I got shirts soaking
in woolite.
Kahn, go home
and take care of business.
I not go back
without new kickass job.
I show you.
I get job that make you cry
every day.
Look, kahn
I love propane
through-and-through
but-- okay, I'll
give you this.
You're old job was
something else, okay?
Now, go home.
No. I can't fail.
This not supposed
to happen to me.
I'm asian, for god's sake.
More expected of me.
You not understand.
You somebody's worker bee.
If I accept
your redneck life
it like I bury
myself alive.
What about minh and connie?
You my best friend.
You take care of them.
I'm your best friend?
No, I take it back.
Nobody takes care of them.
Time's hard,
but minh's a fighter.
They be okay.
Why you keep watching
me, you pervert?
Somebody get the manager!
noi.
noi.
( snickering )
no. Noi.
noi.
No. Noi.
Bobby, dinner's ready.
Oh, uh, by the way
I accidentally
picked up an extra
bucket of chicken
on the way home, if
you guys are interested.
How do you know
it's extra yet?
( horn honking )
kahn, you got a lot of
( speaks laotian )
to come back here.
I got new job.
Make $20,000 more a year.
Okay. Maybe I let
you back in
but you sleep
on the couch.
I thought you'd be happy
so we pack up quickly.
Job in houston.
Oh, no. I'm not
moving again.
People here grudgingly
accept us.
That's rare.
It three-hour drive.
Not negotiable.
You commute.
Hey, neighbor.
Maybe I buy
your house.
Storage for
my old things.
What you think
of that?
My house is not for sale.
Oh, then I guess I buy your bank
and foreclose on you.
( chuckles )
that's a good one, khan.
Are you laughing or crying
because of my great new car?
Turbo engine, halogen light,
six-cd changer in trunk.
In the trunk?
Well, if you need a hand
installing it in your dash
let me know.
It supposed
to be in trunk.
It plays cds in trunk.
Why? Who's going to want
to ride in the trunk?
You wish you could ride
in my trunk.
My trunk so plush,
it like movie star trunk.
Well, you got
me there, khan.
My trunk is not like
a movie star trunk.
It's just a
family-man trunk.
Thank you, hank.
Kahn: prepare your brain
for razzle-dazzle!