King of the Hill (1997–2010): Season 11, Episode 6 - Glen Peggy Glen Ross - full transcript
Peggy becomes a realtor. Hank gets a new set of golf clubs with a disturbing past.
Ripped By mstoll
(door closes)
Have you guys seen
my graphing calculator?
I'll look like a dork
at math camp without it.
You not going to math
camp this spring break.
If you want to get into top-
notch private high school,
you need to have interesting
job on your resume.
You're going to work
on my cousin Trang's
squid boat next week.
I don't understand.
Admissions people very educated,
and educated people like to hear
about kind of jobs
uneducated people have.
Disgusting squid boat
perfect for you.
Since I want to go
into journalism,
shouldn't I shadow a journalist
like Mrs. Hill or Mrs. Gribble?
That not bad idea,
but unfortunately
I call Nancy Gribble
a pumpkin-headed Q-'Tip.
And I called Peggy Hill
a dim-witted sea cow.
What we're saying is:
If you can get one of them
to go along with you,
more power to you.
Otherwise, squid boat.
Squid boat!
I could learn so much
from a professional journalist
like Mrs. Hicks-Gribble.
You want to follow Nancy?
Oh, please.
You should follow a serious
journalist, such as myself.
Print media is where it's at.
Did you know it's where most
people used to get their news?
That's a good point,
but Mrs. Gribble promised me
some on-screen time.
Okay, let's just
cut to the chase.
I will guarantee a shared byline
on page one above the fold.
Oh, this is gonna be exciting!
Sorry I'm late.
I was, uh...
Spare us your minor
domestic dramas.
I give you a complete,
barely used set
of state-of-the-art
titanium golf clubs,
made from technology first
imagined by Jules Verne.
(squeals)
These are for me?
Well, how could you afford 'em?
I assure you
they were paid for in full
and they are yours to enjoy
with no strings attached.
Just consider it my way
of saying "I'm sorry."
Sorry for what?
Oh, you'll know.
Dale, what are you up to?
No more questions!
Just, just, just take a club
in your hands and hold it!
Hold it!
All right, already.
Oh, my Lord.
All right, people,
we got a weekly to put out.
Stenholm, you've got
the police blotter.
We call that
"Drunks and Punks."
Jenkins, you're on the county
commission meeting.
Oh.
"Bores and Snores."
Peggy, you've got a profile
of Arlen real estate
guru Chris Sizemore.
Sizemore's office faxed
the story over this morning.
Just throw in a few sexy
adjectives, but not too sexy.
I will Helen Hunt it.
So this is all you do, just
write what they tell you?
Of course not.
Sometimes I, I get to come up
with the headline.
Not this time, apparently.
I need more than some
dictated puff piece
to get me into the school
of my choice.
This Sizemore guy
might seem great,
but under that smarmy smile,
I bet there's a big, ugly story.
Yes, you're right.
He's like that dish of mints
by the cash register
at the restaurant.
Sure, they look tasty,
but they are covered in urine.
Eww...
Exactly.
(chuckling)
Lam Peggy Hill from
the Arlen Bystander.
You are going to love Chris.
Don't tell me what to write.
I still remember
the first time I met Chris.
When he shook my hand
and smiled,
I felt like I was
under a tanning lamp.
And then he invited me
into his office, and I was.
Mr. Sizemore,
you say your life
is an open book.
How do you explain
this pregnancy test
I found in the trash
behind your house?
My wife is pregnant:
Congratulations.
Yes. So. On one
of your billboards
you appear to be a giant
standing over Arlen.
Clearly, you are a man
of average size.
Simple mistake...
Or false advertising?
(chuckling): Oh, Peggy,
there's nothing I enjoy more
than lining my pieces up
against a worthy adversary,
but I got where I am today by
always being six moves ahead.
Just when you think
you have me cornered,
I jump, jump, double jump
and I'm in your back row.
"King me."
Are you saying
the interview is over?
It was over six moves ago.
We'll see about that.
Oh!
Ooh!
Wow.
I've never seen you play
this well before.
Except in that dream I had
where you won the Masters
in a playoff with a robot.
Well, it's these clubs.
It's like they're
an extension of my arms.
Well, they ought to be.
They MSRP for $3,000.
How in the world
did you get these?
They better not be hot.
No, but they do have
an interesting provenance.
Dale got 'em
at a police auction!
These clubs were owned
by a criminal?!
Not only that, they were used
in a horrible murder
in McMaynerbury.
No! No!
Not the orthopedic surgeon
who killed the embezzling
partner in his practice.
None other than Texas's newest
resident of Death Row,
Dr. James Allan
Duckworth.
I can't use clubs
convicted of murder.
Only one of the clubs
was used in the murder.
The rest were merely
murder-adjacent.
(Sighs)
Was it the putter?
You shot a 38 on the front nine.
Do you really want to know?
(Sighs)
No.
Where's your teenie-
weenie sidekick?
She is doing research
for my next article.
We are gonna blow the lid off
Arlen's auto cartel,
just like we did
to Chris Sizemore.
EDITOR:
Peggy! A word.
I just got off the phone
with Chris Sizemore.
He's out for blood.
Well, that just means
I did my job.
Why are you acting surprised?
Didn't you read the article
when I submitted it?
No, I read the press release
they faxed over.
That's the story
I thought we printed,
not this hatchet job on one
of our biggest advertisers.
Peggy, you said
"the scented candles
made his office reek
like a bordello."
But then I wrote
that there was no visible proof
he used prostitutes himself.
Peggy, you're fired.
You.
Yes, me.
Peggy, it took a lot of courage
for you to take me on,
and I respect that.
I only regret I didn't
make my article nastier.
I understand.
You're angry.
But you're something else
that ends with "gry."
Hungry-
You know, Peggy,
you remind me of me-
just a little, because
you've got so much to learn.
But I like your moxie.
You're hired.
But... you just had me fired.
I closed a door...
and opened a window.
Welcome to Team Sizemore.
Ho yeah!
I tracked down a lead
at Lane Pratley Cadillac
who's ready to squawk.
Forget it.
Something fantastic
has happened.
I was fired, and
now we're Realtors!
I need a byline in a newspaper
to prove I'm a good journalist.
I need to blow
the lid off something,
not tease my hair
and put on a stupid blazer!
Oh, real estate is so
much more than that.
It drives the whole
U.S. Economy
and the U.S. Economy
drives the entire world.
So, in a very real way, this is
the most important job on earth.
Wow.
Yeah, wow.
And you know what
is even better?
That you are gonna be
the youngest person
to have ever sold a house.
Really?
That would sound good
on an application.
Sold!
BOBBY:
I've always wondered...
Does a half-bath mean
you only get to pee in it?
Now that I'm a Realtor,
I will find out.
Now, I'm confused.
You hated Sizemore even though
there wasn't any reason to.
Now that he got you fired and
you have a reason to hate him,
you're working for him.
Chris Sizemore
saw potential in me,
and I know he is right.
I know houses.
I live in one.
You know the feeling you
get when you sell someone
a tank of propane?
Imagine selling them
a tank of propane
they will live in
for 30 years fixed.
I'll tell you what.
Once you get a magnet
with your picture on it,
I'll get rid of my no-magnets-
on-the-refrigerator rule.
SIZEMORE:
Peggy!
Welcome to Team Sizemore.
Thank you.
Uh... I can't hire
the little Asian girl.
The Texas Real Estate Commission
is a grouchy Gus
about child labor.
Oh, Connie is just my prot?g?.
She's free.
Perfect.
Well, then, Peggy,
I'd like you and your prot?g?
to meet the rest
of Team Sizemore.
This is Dee. She
coined the word "cozy"
for uncomfortably small places.
And over there
is Walker Lee.
He can nail the square footage
of a house just by walking it.
Thanks to my size 12s!
And I believe
you've already
met Candi and Roger.
That's Candi with an "I."
And Roger with
an "I do."
Candi and I are married.
Since I married Candi and Roger,
our sales are up 27%.
So they're not really married?
Well, not to each other.
But I'm afraid they're stuck
with one another
till their sales drop.
(all chuckling)
Seriously, though,
we here at Team Sizemore
succeed because we work together
like a highly
functioning human body.
A human body, yes.
Peggy, would you like
to be an organ?
Yes, the brain.
(laughs)
That one's taken.
Oh. What about the skin?
People don't realize
that is an organ.
Super. We have six open
houses this weekend.
I need you to help
get them ready to show.
And you can start by baking
the most scrumptious 36 dozen
cookies you've ever baked.
Cookies?
Really delicious cookies
increase sales 7%.
I don't think we can bake
a cookie good enough
to make someone
sink their life savings
into a house they can't afford.
Chris says his ideas
may seem crazy...
Like Howard Hughes
toward the end...
But they're actually crazy
like Howard Hughes
towards the middle.
I like the sound of
this Sizemore guy.
Any friend of the cookie
is a friend of mine.
Hey!
You the man!
(Sighs)
How could clubs that feel
so right, feel so wrong?
Those clubs don't care
whether they're striking
a Titleist
or Dr. Ted Nelson's skull.
And neither should you.
You know, I could use
a guilt-free hole.
Would one of you guys like to
take a swing with these clubs?
No, sir.
No.
No. Ain't no got
dang ol' way, man.
Mm. Scrumptious.
Now, have you touched up
the dog pee spots
in the backyard
with green spray paint? Check.
Copied names and addresses
from the phone book
to "prime" the guest book?
Check.
Checked out the
Ahn-sel Adams book
from the library to put on
the living room coffee table?
It's all covered. Now all I
need to do is sell this sucker.
Oh, Walker Lee is going
to sell this one.
Dee, we need some conversation
pieces for the house on Ben.
I just got a premonition
that big things suspended
from the ceiling are
gonna be hot,
so bring me something metal,
heavy and fantastic.
I just saw the most
exquisite object d'art.
Peggy, meet me at the dump.
Excellent.
Uh, but before that, Peggy,
I need you to brush my teeth.
To the dump.
What about that anchor?
It's heavy, metal...
I think it's pretty good.
Nautical? You're so naive
it's almost cute...
but not quite.
Grab the rusty propeller.
(phone ringing)
Fabulous. I'm on it.
Get this to the office,
chop-chop.
No offense.
Yes-ow!
(cork popping)
Champagnoise at 9 in the
morning can only mean one thing.
A big sale.
Congratulations to all of us.
To Candi and Roger and Walker
Lee and Dee and Janet and me.
The vital organs
of Team Sizemore.
King me.
Cheers to the king.
He thanked everybody but us.
Maybe he just forgot.
People are always
forgetting the skin.
Oh, and thanks to
the Sparkletts guy!
How could we have done our jobs
if we weren't properly hydrated?
Another "Sizemore Says":
Sizemore says you have a pot
of gold at the end of your neck.
Your face.
Get it out there.
Chris, do you have a minute?
Oh, hi, Peggy.
Just mining diamonds.
What's up?
Chris, I know I have talents
that aren't being utilized.
I can do more here.
I'm ready.
Oh, Peggy, I would have thought
you were ready,
except you told me
you were ready.
Damn.
Don't worry Peggy.
When you're ready, you'll know.
Because I will have
just told you.
What did he say?
A lot of very wise things
that all seem to mean no.
Dang it, Mrs. Hill.
I've seen the test scores
for Arlen High.
If I have to go there, my only
options will be DeVry
or the University of Phoenix.
Which one, Mrs. Hill?!
On the radio, they both sound
like good institutions, but...
Okay, I'm gonna fix this.
I shouldn't have told
Chris I was ready.
I should have proved it.
That's the reason you
hired me in the first place.
My moxie.
Well, using that moxie
to "get my face out there."
This is Nancy Hicks-Gribble's
Arlen Business Journal.
Today we're talking with
Peggy Hill from Sizemore Realty;
Team Sizemore is one of Arlen's
greatest business
success stories.
It most certainly is.
It all starts with
Chris, of course.
The man is brilliant
and charismatic.
He could lead any cult
he wanted to.
He chose real estate.
What makes Team Sizemore
so successful
is that we're like a human body
with all the parts
working together
in harmony to sell houses.
Oh, that is fascinating.
Chris... naturally,
is the brain.
And what are you, Peggy?
I am the face.
Did you think
I wouldn't see this?
I knew you would see it.
That was the point,
to get my face out there.
Just like you said... my face
is a pot of gold.
No, my face is a pot of gold.
Look... face, gold, neck,
they're all metaphors.
I am the boss, and you do
what I say when I say it.
You crossed the line, Peggy.
You weren't a team player.
So you're off Team Sizemore.
But you like my moxie.
That was all moxie.
Sorry, Peggy. You're fired.
No... no.
I'm going to be
a dental technologist.
PEGGY:
Fired from the Bystander,
fired from Sizemore Realty.
Bobby, check the
Guinness World Records
and see who holds the one for
being fired the most times.
I'm pretty sure,
it's George Jetson.
Well, don't take it so hard.
Maybe you're better off
not working for this
Chris Sizemore fella.
You don't understand.
Real estate was my passion,
and now it's gone.
Now I know what it's like
to smoke crack.
I took one hit of real estate
and it blew off my skull.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
(knocking)
Hey, Mrs. Hill.
I just wanted to give
your blazer back.
Oh, Connie,
why don't you keep it?
No, thanks. I don't think it'll
keep me warm on the squid boat.
My cousin's coming in
this weekend to re-chum
and I'm hoping
he'll let me crew up.
Connie, I cannot
let you give up.
Which means I can't give up.
We are going to sell a house
and you are getting
into private school.
I wonder if the murderer
took a practice swing
before doing the deed.
The temptation to yell "Fore!"
Must have been overwhelming.
Dang it, Dale, I don't think
you gave me these clubs
to apologize for anything.
You gave them to me
to torture me.
Well, I'm not gonna play
with them any more
until I've cleared their name.
HANK:
So you didn't kill that fella
with any of these
golf clubs, right?
No.
Okay then.
Well, I do like the anchor.
I think we need more room.
We want to start a family.
Wait a second...
you're adopting?
I adopted, too!
It's so great that you go
to work with your mom.
Mom is really terrific.
Connie loves this place.
When her real parents
abandoned her in a ditch,
all she wanted was to be adopted
and live in a house with
a center island kitchen.
Connie, why don't you
show Wayne and Jeff
where you'd put a swing set.
Yes, Mom.
An adopted Asian
daughter. Brilliant.
I wish I had thought of that.
Done. Candi and Roger
are adopting.
I told you I had talent.
You've really done your
homework, Peggy.
Except for one little thing...
You don't have
a real estate license.
All it takes is 150 hours.
And I've already
signed up online.
What's to keep me from calling
the Texas Real Estate Commission
as soon as I get back
in my hybrid?
I don't know.
Maybe nothing.
I'll tell you what's keeping
me from making that call.
Respect.
I knew I'd find you here.
I knew you'd even steal
my best bus bench.
And I know you'll
sell this house
to those cosmopolitan gentlemen
at above asking price.
I know you because I made you.
The question is,
"Am I going to break you?"
Go ahead,
do what you have to do.
Peggy, you and I can
take on more than Arlen,
and more than Heimlich County.
I'm not gonna make that call.
On one condition.
Team Peggy merges forces
with Team Sizemore.
We'll call it Team Sizemore.
I accept.
On one condition.
That I get to sell.
Starting with this house.
Granted.
And I get to keep the bus bench.
Denied.
Then in the print ad
I am the first member
of Team Sizemore
to pour out of the cornucopia.
Ooh, that's going to
tick off Walker Lee.
But motivate
him as well. Done.
King me.
King me.
King me.
Who else besides Bill
didn't bring tees?
Me!
Huh.
Well, Duckworth must
have been a skier.
MINH: Squid boat.
KAHN: Squid boat!
Ripped By mstoll
(door closes)
Have you guys seen
my graphing calculator?
I'll look like a dork
at math camp without it.
You not going to math
camp this spring break.
If you want to get into top-
notch private high school,
you need to have interesting
job on your resume.
You're going to work
on my cousin Trang's
squid boat next week.
I don't understand.
Admissions people very educated,
and educated people like to hear
about kind of jobs
uneducated people have.
Disgusting squid boat
perfect for you.
Since I want to go
into journalism,
shouldn't I shadow a journalist
like Mrs. Hill or Mrs. Gribble?
That not bad idea,
but unfortunately
I call Nancy Gribble
a pumpkin-headed Q-'Tip.
And I called Peggy Hill
a dim-witted sea cow.
What we're saying is:
If you can get one of them
to go along with you,
more power to you.
Otherwise, squid boat.
Squid boat!
I could learn so much
from a professional journalist
like Mrs. Hicks-Gribble.
You want to follow Nancy?
Oh, please.
You should follow a serious
journalist, such as myself.
Print media is where it's at.
Did you know it's where most
people used to get their news?
That's a good point,
but Mrs. Gribble promised me
some on-screen time.
Okay, let's just
cut to the chase.
I will guarantee a shared byline
on page one above the fold.
Oh, this is gonna be exciting!
Sorry I'm late.
I was, uh...
Spare us your minor
domestic dramas.
I give you a complete,
barely used set
of state-of-the-art
titanium golf clubs,
made from technology first
imagined by Jules Verne.
(squeals)
These are for me?
Well, how could you afford 'em?
I assure you
they were paid for in full
and they are yours to enjoy
with no strings attached.
Just consider it my way
of saying "I'm sorry."
Sorry for what?
Oh, you'll know.
Dale, what are you up to?
No more questions!
Just, just, just take a club
in your hands and hold it!
Hold it!
All right, already.
Oh, my Lord.
All right, people,
we got a weekly to put out.
Stenholm, you've got
the police blotter.
We call that
"Drunks and Punks."
Jenkins, you're on the county
commission meeting.
Oh.
"Bores and Snores."
Peggy, you've got a profile
of Arlen real estate
guru Chris Sizemore.
Sizemore's office faxed
the story over this morning.
Just throw in a few sexy
adjectives, but not too sexy.
I will Helen Hunt it.
So this is all you do, just
write what they tell you?
Of course not.
Sometimes I, I get to come up
with the headline.
Not this time, apparently.
I need more than some
dictated puff piece
to get me into the school
of my choice.
This Sizemore guy
might seem great,
but under that smarmy smile,
I bet there's a big, ugly story.
Yes, you're right.
He's like that dish of mints
by the cash register
at the restaurant.
Sure, they look tasty,
but they are covered in urine.
Eww...
Exactly.
(chuckling)
Lam Peggy Hill from
the Arlen Bystander.
You are going to love Chris.
Don't tell me what to write.
I still remember
the first time I met Chris.
When he shook my hand
and smiled,
I felt like I was
under a tanning lamp.
And then he invited me
into his office, and I was.
Mr. Sizemore,
you say your life
is an open book.
How do you explain
this pregnancy test
I found in the trash
behind your house?
My wife is pregnant:
Congratulations.
Yes. So. On one
of your billboards
you appear to be a giant
standing over Arlen.
Clearly, you are a man
of average size.
Simple mistake...
Or false advertising?
(chuckling): Oh, Peggy,
there's nothing I enjoy more
than lining my pieces up
against a worthy adversary,
but I got where I am today by
always being six moves ahead.
Just when you think
you have me cornered,
I jump, jump, double jump
and I'm in your back row.
"King me."
Are you saying
the interview is over?
It was over six moves ago.
We'll see about that.
Oh!
Ooh!
Wow.
I've never seen you play
this well before.
Except in that dream I had
where you won the Masters
in a playoff with a robot.
Well, it's these clubs.
It's like they're
an extension of my arms.
Well, they ought to be.
They MSRP for $3,000.
How in the world
did you get these?
They better not be hot.
No, but they do have
an interesting provenance.
Dale got 'em
at a police auction!
These clubs were owned
by a criminal?!
Not only that, they were used
in a horrible murder
in McMaynerbury.
No! No!
Not the orthopedic surgeon
who killed the embezzling
partner in his practice.
None other than Texas's newest
resident of Death Row,
Dr. James Allan
Duckworth.
I can't use clubs
convicted of murder.
Only one of the clubs
was used in the murder.
The rest were merely
murder-adjacent.
(Sighs)
Was it the putter?
You shot a 38 on the front nine.
Do you really want to know?
(Sighs)
No.
Where's your teenie-
weenie sidekick?
She is doing research
for my next article.
We are gonna blow the lid off
Arlen's auto cartel,
just like we did
to Chris Sizemore.
EDITOR:
Peggy! A word.
I just got off the phone
with Chris Sizemore.
He's out for blood.
Well, that just means
I did my job.
Why are you acting surprised?
Didn't you read the article
when I submitted it?
No, I read the press release
they faxed over.
That's the story
I thought we printed,
not this hatchet job on one
of our biggest advertisers.
Peggy, you said
"the scented candles
made his office reek
like a bordello."
But then I wrote
that there was no visible proof
he used prostitutes himself.
Peggy, you're fired.
You.
Yes, me.
Peggy, it took a lot of courage
for you to take me on,
and I respect that.
I only regret I didn't
make my article nastier.
I understand.
You're angry.
But you're something else
that ends with "gry."
Hungry-
You know, Peggy,
you remind me of me-
just a little, because
you've got so much to learn.
But I like your moxie.
You're hired.
But... you just had me fired.
I closed a door...
and opened a window.
Welcome to Team Sizemore.
Ho yeah!
I tracked down a lead
at Lane Pratley Cadillac
who's ready to squawk.
Forget it.
Something fantastic
has happened.
I was fired, and
now we're Realtors!
I need a byline in a newspaper
to prove I'm a good journalist.
I need to blow
the lid off something,
not tease my hair
and put on a stupid blazer!
Oh, real estate is so
much more than that.
It drives the whole
U.S. Economy
and the U.S. Economy
drives the entire world.
So, in a very real way, this is
the most important job on earth.
Wow.
Yeah, wow.
And you know what
is even better?
That you are gonna be
the youngest person
to have ever sold a house.
Really?
That would sound good
on an application.
Sold!
BOBBY:
I've always wondered...
Does a half-bath mean
you only get to pee in it?
Now that I'm a Realtor,
I will find out.
Now, I'm confused.
You hated Sizemore even though
there wasn't any reason to.
Now that he got you fired and
you have a reason to hate him,
you're working for him.
Chris Sizemore
saw potential in me,
and I know he is right.
I know houses.
I live in one.
You know the feeling you
get when you sell someone
a tank of propane?
Imagine selling them
a tank of propane
they will live in
for 30 years fixed.
I'll tell you what.
Once you get a magnet
with your picture on it,
I'll get rid of my no-magnets-
on-the-refrigerator rule.
SIZEMORE:
Peggy!
Welcome to Team Sizemore.
Thank you.
Uh... I can't hire
the little Asian girl.
The Texas Real Estate Commission
is a grouchy Gus
about child labor.
Oh, Connie is just my prot?g?.
She's free.
Perfect.
Well, then, Peggy,
I'd like you and your prot?g?
to meet the rest
of Team Sizemore.
This is Dee. She
coined the word "cozy"
for uncomfortably small places.
And over there
is Walker Lee.
He can nail the square footage
of a house just by walking it.
Thanks to my size 12s!
And I believe
you've already
met Candi and Roger.
That's Candi with an "I."
And Roger with
an "I do."
Candi and I are married.
Since I married Candi and Roger,
our sales are up 27%.
So they're not really married?
Well, not to each other.
But I'm afraid they're stuck
with one another
till their sales drop.
(all chuckling)
Seriously, though,
we here at Team Sizemore
succeed because we work together
like a highly
functioning human body.
A human body, yes.
Peggy, would you like
to be an organ?
Yes, the brain.
(laughs)
That one's taken.
Oh. What about the skin?
People don't realize
that is an organ.
Super. We have six open
houses this weekend.
I need you to help
get them ready to show.
And you can start by baking
the most scrumptious 36 dozen
cookies you've ever baked.
Cookies?
Really delicious cookies
increase sales 7%.
I don't think we can bake
a cookie good enough
to make someone
sink their life savings
into a house they can't afford.
Chris says his ideas
may seem crazy...
Like Howard Hughes
toward the end...
But they're actually crazy
like Howard Hughes
towards the middle.
I like the sound of
this Sizemore guy.
Any friend of the cookie
is a friend of mine.
Hey!
You the man!
(Sighs)
How could clubs that feel
so right, feel so wrong?
Those clubs don't care
whether they're striking
a Titleist
or Dr. Ted Nelson's skull.
And neither should you.
You know, I could use
a guilt-free hole.
Would one of you guys like to
take a swing with these clubs?
No, sir.
No.
No. Ain't no got
dang ol' way, man.
Mm. Scrumptious.
Now, have you touched up
the dog pee spots
in the backyard
with green spray paint? Check.
Copied names and addresses
from the phone book
to "prime" the guest book?
Check.
Checked out the
Ahn-sel Adams book
from the library to put on
the living room coffee table?
It's all covered. Now all I
need to do is sell this sucker.
Oh, Walker Lee is going
to sell this one.
Dee, we need some conversation
pieces for the house on Ben.
I just got a premonition
that big things suspended
from the ceiling are
gonna be hot,
so bring me something metal,
heavy and fantastic.
I just saw the most
exquisite object d'art.
Peggy, meet me at the dump.
Excellent.
Uh, but before that, Peggy,
I need you to brush my teeth.
To the dump.
What about that anchor?
It's heavy, metal...
I think it's pretty good.
Nautical? You're so naive
it's almost cute...
but not quite.
Grab the rusty propeller.
(phone ringing)
Fabulous. I'm on it.
Get this to the office,
chop-chop.
No offense.
Yes-ow!
(cork popping)
Champagnoise at 9 in the
morning can only mean one thing.
A big sale.
Congratulations to all of us.
To Candi and Roger and Walker
Lee and Dee and Janet and me.
The vital organs
of Team Sizemore.
King me.
Cheers to the king.
He thanked everybody but us.
Maybe he just forgot.
People are always
forgetting the skin.
Oh, and thanks to
the Sparkletts guy!
How could we have done our jobs
if we weren't properly hydrated?
Another "Sizemore Says":
Sizemore says you have a pot
of gold at the end of your neck.
Your face.
Get it out there.
Chris, do you have a minute?
Oh, hi, Peggy.
Just mining diamonds.
What's up?
Chris, I know I have talents
that aren't being utilized.
I can do more here.
I'm ready.
Oh, Peggy, I would have thought
you were ready,
except you told me
you were ready.
Damn.
Don't worry Peggy.
When you're ready, you'll know.
Because I will have
just told you.
What did he say?
A lot of very wise things
that all seem to mean no.
Dang it, Mrs. Hill.
I've seen the test scores
for Arlen High.
If I have to go there, my only
options will be DeVry
or the University of Phoenix.
Which one, Mrs. Hill?!
On the radio, they both sound
like good institutions, but...
Okay, I'm gonna fix this.
I shouldn't have told
Chris I was ready.
I should have proved it.
That's the reason you
hired me in the first place.
My moxie.
Well, using that moxie
to "get my face out there."
This is Nancy Hicks-Gribble's
Arlen Business Journal.
Today we're talking with
Peggy Hill from Sizemore Realty;
Team Sizemore is one of Arlen's
greatest business
success stories.
It most certainly is.
It all starts with
Chris, of course.
The man is brilliant
and charismatic.
He could lead any cult
he wanted to.
He chose real estate.
What makes Team Sizemore
so successful
is that we're like a human body
with all the parts
working together
in harmony to sell houses.
Oh, that is fascinating.
Chris... naturally,
is the brain.
And what are you, Peggy?
I am the face.
Did you think
I wouldn't see this?
I knew you would see it.
That was the point,
to get my face out there.
Just like you said... my face
is a pot of gold.
No, my face is a pot of gold.
Look... face, gold, neck,
they're all metaphors.
I am the boss, and you do
what I say when I say it.
You crossed the line, Peggy.
You weren't a team player.
So you're off Team Sizemore.
But you like my moxie.
That was all moxie.
Sorry, Peggy. You're fired.
No... no.
I'm going to be
a dental technologist.
PEGGY:
Fired from the Bystander,
fired from Sizemore Realty.
Bobby, check the
Guinness World Records
and see who holds the one for
being fired the most times.
I'm pretty sure,
it's George Jetson.
Well, don't take it so hard.
Maybe you're better off
not working for this
Chris Sizemore fella.
You don't understand.
Real estate was my passion,
and now it's gone.
Now I know what it's like
to smoke crack.
I took one hit of real estate
and it blew off my skull.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
(knocking)
Hey, Mrs. Hill.
I just wanted to give
your blazer back.
Oh, Connie,
why don't you keep it?
No, thanks. I don't think it'll
keep me warm on the squid boat.
My cousin's coming in
this weekend to re-chum
and I'm hoping
he'll let me crew up.
Connie, I cannot
let you give up.
Which means I can't give up.
We are going to sell a house
and you are getting
into private school.
I wonder if the murderer
took a practice swing
before doing the deed.
The temptation to yell "Fore!"
Must have been overwhelming.
Dang it, Dale, I don't think
you gave me these clubs
to apologize for anything.
You gave them to me
to torture me.
Well, I'm not gonna play
with them any more
until I've cleared their name.
HANK:
So you didn't kill that fella
with any of these
golf clubs, right?
No.
Okay then.
Well, I do like the anchor.
I think we need more room.
We want to start a family.
Wait a second...
you're adopting?
I adopted, too!
It's so great that you go
to work with your mom.
Mom is really terrific.
Connie loves this place.
When her real parents
abandoned her in a ditch,
all she wanted was to be adopted
and live in a house with
a center island kitchen.
Connie, why don't you
show Wayne and Jeff
where you'd put a swing set.
Yes, Mom.
An adopted Asian
daughter. Brilliant.
I wish I had thought of that.
Done. Candi and Roger
are adopting.
I told you I had talent.
You've really done your
homework, Peggy.
Except for one little thing...
You don't have
a real estate license.
All it takes is 150 hours.
And I've already
signed up online.
What's to keep me from calling
the Texas Real Estate Commission
as soon as I get back
in my hybrid?
I don't know.
Maybe nothing.
I'll tell you what's keeping
me from making that call.
Respect.
I knew I'd find you here.
I knew you'd even steal
my best bus bench.
And I know you'll
sell this house
to those cosmopolitan gentlemen
at above asking price.
I know you because I made you.
The question is,
"Am I going to break you?"
Go ahead,
do what you have to do.
Peggy, you and I can
take on more than Arlen,
and more than Heimlich County.
I'm not gonna make that call.
On one condition.
Team Peggy merges forces
with Team Sizemore.
We'll call it Team Sizemore.
I accept.
On one condition.
That I get to sell.
Starting with this house.
Granted.
And I get to keep the bus bench.
Denied.
Then in the print ad
I am the first member
of Team Sizemore
to pour out of the cornucopia.
Ooh, that's going to
tick off Walker Lee.
But motivate
him as well. Done.
King me.
King me.
King me.
Who else besides Bill
didn't bring tees?
Me!
Huh.
Well, Duckworth must
have been a skier.
MINH: Squid boat.
KAHN: Squid boat!
Ripped By mstoll