Desperate Housewives (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 12 - Not While I'm Around - full transcript

Previously on...

The last two years
are a blank.

That's a fresh approach.

I believe you.

Mike couldn't place a familiar face...

whoever killed her...
The police couldn't identify a murder victim...

...pulled out all her teeth.
There's no signature.

Gabrielle was getting
showered with gifts...

buyer asked to remain anonymous.
From a mystery suitor.

I'm gonna open up a pizza parlor!

And Lynette couldn't believe...
oh, dear god.



What her husband had done.

I wanna do what...
you wanna do.

Julie's first love
was two-Timing her,

And orson's first wife...
I'm Alma Hodge.

wasn't going away...

what do you think?
I'll take it.

...anytime soon.

Your average housewife

worries constantly

about the dangerous people
she sees on the nightly news,

Which is why she buys
expensive alarm systems,

Carries pepper spray
in her purse

And keeps a gun in her drawer,

So she can go about her day
feeling safe and protected.



Your average inmate

Worries constantly
about the dangerous people

He comes in contact with
every day,

Which is why
he takes ordinary items

And turns them into weapons

That he always keeps handy,

So he can go about his day
feeling safe and protected.

What is the difference between
the housewife and the inmate?

The inmate knows
the feeling won't last long.

Delfino, right?

Yeah.

So?

Uhh!

come on, brah,
let's go.

You okay?

Yeah.
I owe you one.

Yeah. I guess you do.

Yes, we all need protection

From those
who would do us harm...

and sometimes
from those who protect us.

Episode 12:
Not While I'm Around

Wild parties.
Handsome strangers.

Tender kisses.

Oh. I had a great time.

Bye.

Yes, there were many things

Gabrielle Solis liked
about being single again...

But coming home to an empty house,

was not one of them.

Aah!

What?

Hi. You're sleeping at my place tonight.

Really?

What did you have in mind?

God, I hate my life.

Honestly, did you think
I was gonna sleep with you?

It would be the polite way
to thank me.

Carlos, this isn't funny.

I am scared to death of this maniac.
Since when?

Yesterday you were loving all the presents,
the intrigue. The guy broke in to the house

He went from secret admirer
to stalker.

For all I know, he's trying to kill me
so no one else will have me.

Why don't you just call the cops?
Oh, and tell them what?

"9-1-1,
somebody broke in the house

And left a $6,000 dress. "

Okay, so if this guy
shows up again,

What am I
supposed to do, exactly?

Nothing.
Just having you here helps.

Now that's very sweet.

Because when he breaks in

And starts hacking you up
with his machete,

Your screams will wake me up,
and then I'll be able escape.

Glad I could help.

Hey, stranger.

Hey.

you have good timing.

I just got all the kids
to sleep.

Aw, damn,
I wanted to tuck 'em in.

Well, you could tuck me in.

I thought I smelled
your sex perfume.

Come here. Hi.
Hi.

Hi.
Mmm.

Oh, oh, oh, mmm.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Don't get me
all revved up just yet.

The printer said he was
gonna drop off my menu

On his way home.
He already did.

Oh, you didn't
look at that, did you?

'Cause it-It's just a mock-Up.

Too late. I looked...
and it's great.

Really?

Yes. I love the font,
the color, everything.

I am so jazzed to see the restaurant.

It is so good
to hear that.

Mmm.
Ooh!

So... any idea
when that might be?

Sure.

How about... two weeks?

Hey.

You open in two weeks.

Yeah. Well, that'd be
a good time for you to come by,

'Cause there's free refills,
balloons, music...

Might there be a V.I.P. Preview

for people, say,
who bore your children?

Lynette...
yeah?

I don't want you to see it
until it's all done.

Why not? Because you will
take one look at t place

And then you'll have
all these tips and suggestions

That you just won't be able
to keep to yoursel

Ya think?
'Cause I just saw

A take-Out menu
with a 6-Digit phone number,

And I kept that to myself.

See? There it is! That snarky,
know-It-All attitude. What?

I am snarky because I point out
one small, glaring mistake?

That's it.

Now you're banned
from the opening.

Fine! Good night.

So... we're not having sex?

Hey, you banned me
from your opening.

All I'm saying is that I'd
feel a lot safer on the pill.

But if you're not 18,
you need parental consent.

Do we really need
to give your mother

Another reason to hate me? She'll
hate you a lot worse if you get me-Hey!

Hi.

Hi

Bye.

Bye.
Bye.

Can't we just keep using condoms
and be extra careful?

Are you crazy?
They're not dependable.

Sure, they are. Why do you
think everybody uses them?

They all have to pass
inspection.

It's too risky.
Condoms are only 85% effective.

Mom!

Mom, what happened?
Are yookay?

Oh! I was just, uh...

I lost an earring.

Mom, you're wearing
both your earrings.

Oh! I found it.

Austin, I would like to talk
to my daughter privately.

Sure. Calle later.

Why were you two
talking about condoms?

Why were you eavesdropping? Don't change
the subject. Are you two having sex?

Because I thought that I raised
you to be smarter than that.

Don't you realize that
sex is not fun and games?

It's dangerous.

Every time you turn around,
there's a new disease.

Do you want it to
burn when you pee? Mom-

Sex kills!
Mom!

What?
I'm not having sex.

Really?
Really

Oh, thank god.

If you're not having sex,

Why were you
talking about condoms?

Because we know
two kids at school who are,

And they're
only using condoms,

Which really stupid because
condoms are only 85% effective

Yes. That's right.

A condom alone
will not protect you.

I totally agree.

bree!

Alma! I-I didn't know
that, uh, you knew edie.

I told your friends
at that dinner party

I was looking for a new house. A house?

Yes,
and gaby introduced us.

Oh. Well, um...

I don't want to keep you.

I'm sure that edie has lots
of other houses to show you.

Nope. We're done. Alma took one
look at the applewhite house,

And bam
- Love at first sight. What?

We're gonna be neighbors.
No!

I mean...

I mean, no, alma,
you can't buy this house.

Why not? Well, are you
aware of its history?

The previous owner...
was harboring a murderer.

It was her son.

Say what you like,
she was a great mom.

They had
a dungeon in the basement.

I mean, people say
they still hear groans

Coming from the house
night.

they're gonna hear groans

Coming from your house
if you don't zip it.

Don't worry, alma,
I'm sure that, uh,

Edie can find you a house
that won't give you nightmares.

It's too late, bree.

I've fallen in love
with this neighborhood.

And as for that haunted house
stuff-Well, that's just silly.

People don't come back
from the dead.

Don't I wish.

I will not
have that woman as a neighbor.

You have got
to do something.

I said I'd talk to her.
So what are you waiting for?

The house is dark. She's not
there. Oh, so you're just gonna?

I will deal with it. Bree, please
calm down. How can I be calm?!

For months, people thought
you killed your first wife.

No sner does she show up
and clear your name,

Than the police haul you off
to ask you about another murder!

They just had some questions.
Everybody has questions.

Susan and I aren't even
speaking because of it.

Bree, please.

I try to hold my head up
and smile

And just bake more pies
for the church social.

But now your ex
is camped out on our doorstep

Like I am hosting some kind of
mormon slumber party,

And I do not know how I am gonna
bake my way out of this one!

Darling, I swear to you, I will
get alma out of that house.

I don't care if I have
to live up to my reputation

And strangle her.

Oh, you're a good husband.

Have you lost your mind?
I am not getting you the pill.

Aunt edie,
julie and I are in love.

Oh, please.

It's not love you're feeling.
It's hormones. That's not true.

Okay, fine.

If you want
to... express your love,

You don't need to go all the way.

Kiss. Touch. Rub.

I mean, whatever happened
to heavy petting?

It's so underrated.

That's your advice?
Well, I'm sorry.

I've never been good at getting
people not to have sex.

So you're not gonna help us?

Julie, if I do this,
your mother would have my head.

You should be talking to her.

I can't talk to her.

The whole idea of this
completely freaks her out.

She started screaming,
"sex kills. "

Hmm, so now it's all on my lap.

God, she pisses me off.

Look, how about I spring
for a box of condoms?

Will that get you two
off my back?

Condoms are only 85% effective.

Is that true?

Damn. I thought I could coast
all the way to menopause.

Look, we're gonna have sex
whether you help us or not.

We're just trying to be responsible.

hmm.

All right.

But just so you know, the responsible thing

is to abstain from sex
and focus on your studies.

There. I said it out loud,
just in case anybody asks.

Gaby,
I need another pillow.

all right.
Don't take the big one.

That's my favorite.

It's only for one night.

'Cause tomorrow
I'm gonna be back home

Sleeping in my own bed.

What?! You can't abandon me!
There's a madman stalking me.

My life is on the line.

Do you know how scared I am?

You're keeping that?

Hey, I'm scared,
but not of the dress.

Carlos!

Carlos, wake up!
I need you!

Oh, yeah,
I thought you'd come around.

What? No!
Hey!

He's here.

Don't!

Carlos, be careful!
He might have a gun!

I'm unarmed. Stop kicking me!

, now you're gonna
give me attitude?! Ow!

Gaby, we got him. Maintain.

This jerk has been terrorizing me.

He broke into my house!
It was a $6,000 dress,

And my boss didn't want me
leaving it on the porch.

Your boss?

Hey, uh, ahem,
I'm sorry to wake you, sir,

But there was a problem
dropping off the gift.

Yes, and she's, uh,
right here... with me.

This is gabrielle.
Who the hell is this?

Yes, I got
your "token of esteem,"

And I'm not impressed.

Because you're freaking me out,
that's why!

No, I don't care how much it cost.

That's beside the point.

Really? That much?

Tell him if he doesn't stop
harassing you,

You're gonna call the cops.

Look, I know you're
trying to be romantic,

But if you keep this up,
I'm gonna be forced...

what'd he say?

That's very sweet of you,

But I am not the most
beautiful woman in the world.

Tell him you're gonna get
a restraining order on him.

Yes, I-I may be in the top ten. Gaby!

Hey, I'm talking here!

Your voice sounds so familiar.

Do I know you?

He says I know him

And that he wants to
reintroduce himself at dinner.

Absolutely not.

I would not feel
comfortable meeting for dinner.

Good girl.

How about lunch?
Gaby!

But you have to promise to stop
buying me these expensive gifts.

Because I'm not
that kind of girl.

Well, for that many karats,

Yes, I could be that kind of girl.

Um, I gotta go.
I'll talk to you tomorrow!

Oh, how about that?

And here I was,

Thinking some guy wants
to murder me in my sleep.

The night's still young.

How are those ribs?

Ah, just needed some tape.
Man, those guys were hard-Core.

You really saved my ass.

Don't mention it.

No. Seriously.

Ever anything
I can do for you,

You just say the word.

I'll keep that in mind.

All right.

Hey, delfino.

Yeah, boss?

You might wanna find yourself
another prom date.

Guy's not your friend.

How do you know that?

After those mutts knocked you
around the other day,

Your boy paid 'em off.

You sure?

I saw money change hands.
Just watch your back.

So I was in the middle
of totally freaking out

When julie assured me
that she's not having sex.

I can't tell you
how relieved I was.

Uh-Huh.

Don't say "uh-Huh" like that.
Julie wouldn't lie to me.

?Then she's not having sex.

Ooh-Kay.

You can't say "ooh-Kay"
like that, either.

Julie's not like other girls.
She's a straight-"A" student.

And you were valedictorian.

What were you up to that
your mher didn't know about?

Ok, you search the closet.
I'm gonna look under the bed.

Wait, wait, wait.
First rule of ransacking-

Remember
where everything goes.

You are gonna make
a really good mother someday.

So what does this diary
look like?

Uh, it's small.
It's got a plaid cover.

Oh, and when you find it,
you have to read it because

I promised her that I would
always respect her privacy.

Now help me
flip this mattress.

oh, god!
You found it?

This is adorable!

You think maybe I could-
No, you cannot borrow it.

fine.

Why does julie have a vcr?

To watch movies.

Please. Kids don't watch videos
anymore. Everything's digital.

See? It's just a tape.

Is it?

Alma.

What do you think
you're doing?

Measuring for drapes.
I'm thinking damask.

You know what I mean.

Why have you moved here?

Well,
it's a very nice street,

And I've made friends here.

People have taken
such an interest in me.

Yeah, they thought
you were dead.

The novelty of your not being
a corpse can't last forever.

What are you after, hmm?

Are you still punishing me?

You want me to pay you
to leave? What?

I want
what I've always wanted-

You.

I'm married.

And-And even if I weren't,
I don't love you.

You didn't love
the old alma.

I'm not
that woman anymore.

I'm stronger,
more c confident.

It may take you a while
to see that, but I can wait.

Alma, I love bree.

But does she love you?

Oh, she may love
the orson she knows...

but does she know
what you did to monique?

Does she know
you ran over mike delfino?

I know all that.

I still love you.

Would she?

So I see
you've spoken to mother.

Yes. It's nice to have someone
on my side in all of this.

Don't worry.
I won't tell bree.

She might go to the police,

And you're no good to me
in jail.

But if I thought I had no chance
with you, no chance at all...

well, there'd be nothing
to stop me from telling.

Please, orson,

Don't take away my hope.

She's not going.

Why not?

And what the hell was that
on the porch?!

She kissed me good-Bye.

What was I supposed to do,
slug her? You went over there

Instead, it looked like you were
reading her a bedtime story.

Bree, I told her
we don't want her here.

I threatened, I shouted.
She refuses to go.

We're just gonna
have to make the best of it.

Hello?

hey, it's me.
You wanna meet for lunch?

No, honey, I got-

I gotta drive to greendale
to picout napkins.

Remember? I told ya.

Oh. Yeah, that's right.

So I'll, um,
I'll see you tonight.

Okay. Good. I'll see ya.

Oh... my... god.

Hey, mrs. Scavo.

Andrew, hi!

I thought you weren't starting
until the opening.

Oh, yeah, there's just so much
work that needs to be done.

Mr. Scavo asked me to start early. Oh.

He's not here,
by the way

Yeah, I-I know. And hey,
don't tell him I stopped by.

I'm not supposed to be here.
I just wanted to sneak a peek.

Shouldn't you be working?

Shouldn't you not be here?

Touch?.

So, uh, how do you
like the place?

I think it's fantastic.

It's really coming together.
Ooh, I love the bar.

Oh, yeah, it's, uh,
it's pretty cool.

It's too bad
we can't get a liquor license.

What?

Oh, uh,
didn't mr. Scavo tell you?

No... he didn't.

Don't, um, restaurants make
half their money on the liquor?

Oh. Yeah. We're-
We're completely screwed.

This is a nightmare.
How did this happen?

Uh, the city, uh,
rezoned and said

He had to get all the residents
within a block to sign a waiver,

And there are some holdouts.

He's kinda bummin'.

Well, then why isn't
he dealing with it

Instead of
shopping for napkins?

We could lose our shirts
in this dump!

Is this dr. Marvin tashman?

Hi. My name is susan mayer.

Um, my daughter julie
came in to see you...

yes, about birth control.

So I'm just curious...

where do you get off prescribing
that without my consent?!

What?! No, I most certainly
was not there.

What do I look like?

I don't have blonde hair.

Wait, did my blonde hair
have dark roots?

Oh!

I forgot to give you
the keys to the shed.

You got my daughter
the pill?!

Here. Catch.

Don't you walk away
from me!

Do we have to do this now?

Yes, we do.

You might have gotten your
first diaphragm with milk money,

But that doesn't
give you the right

To corrupt my daughter! Look, it's
not like I went after julie and said,

"Hey, do you wanna go out

For a burger
and some birth control?"

She came to me. You do not
get to decide this for her!

What were you thinking?!

Aah! I was thinking,
if julie got knocked up,

That-That you and I
could become family,

And I'm sorry,
I cannot take that chance.

Oh, you know what?

It wasn't till
your rotten nephew came to town

That julie was a perfect kid,

And now she's lying and scheming
and having casual sex!

She's just a boob job away
from being you!

Look, Mayer,
julie has discovered sex.

The genie
is out of the bottle.

And you better get good with it,
or you could lose her forever.

'Cause like it or not,
she loves him.

And you know what else?
He loves her.

Ahem!

your gentleman friend
went to make a call.

He'll be with you shortly.

Thank you.

Oh.

Gabrielle.

Zach young!

Oh, my god!
It's been ages.

wow.

Look at you!
So handsome in a suit.

You look beautiful.

Aren't you sweet?

Uh, well, anyway,
I- I'd love to catch up,

But I'm kinda waiting for someone.

Yes, I know.

So the dress fits. Cool.

I'd like a bottle

Of your 1982 ch?teau lafite
rothschild, please.

I'm sorry.
How old are you?

Oh, uh,
why don't we say...

100?

So you are.

Wow, someone got an advance
on their allowance.

I was
my grandfather's sole heir.

I'm-I'm actually
in the fortune 400.

does that-
Does that seem weird to you?

I'm on a date
with zach young.

Nothing's ever
gonna seem weird again.

Every cent we have
is circling the bowl,

And tom never said a word.
Why didn't he come to me?

Well, clearly,
he's embarrassed.

But I'm his wife.
Don't be dense, Lynette.

Half the reason men
want to accomplish anything

Is so they can show off
for the women they love,

And when they fail, they like
to keep it to themselves.

I'm gonna tell him.

I'm gonna tell him
I went to the restaurant

And that I know he screwed up
and that I'm gonna fix it.

Oh, for god sake, it's bad
enough you cut off his cojones.

Now you wanna juggle them?

My husband is in trouble.

I love him.
Shouldn't I want to help him?

Well,
you really love him,

You should help him without
letting him know that you did.

Yeah, so in addition
to my penthouse,

I also have
a ch?teau in switzerland

And a cottage
in the hamptons.

That's pretty impressive,
huh?

You got a little chocolate
on your shirt.

Hmm? Damn it!

Here, let me get it. No,
I can do it! I can do it!

I- I'd like to do it myself,
thank you very much.

I'm sorry, I-

You know, I'll-I'll be neater
for you ne time.

Next time?

Honey, let's get real.
You are way too young for me.

I'm 2 months older
than john rowland.

well,
john rowland was a mistake.

I was lonely.

You're not lonely now?

You've heard
about my divorce.

Yeah. You were really smart
to get rid of carlos.

You deserve mu better.

And let me guess-
Now you're my upgrade?

Well, everybody knows you need
someone to take care of you,

And I'm rich now. I can
give you anything you want.

Wait a minute. Who says I need
someone to take care of me?

My mom, her friends
from the neighborhood.

They said it was the only reason
you stayed with carlos,

Considering
how he treated you.

Well, they were wrong.

Thank you for lunch, zach.

Wait, gabrielle.

I'm not that awkward kid
that I was before.

Can you please just...

please take me seriously.

I'm sorry. I just can't.

I'm not-
I'm not gonna give up.

oh, sweetie.

I really wish you would.

For god sakes, zach!

Don't hijack a ferrari
if you don't know how to drive!

Mr. Gaunt?

Hi, I'm Lynette Scavo.

My husband
is opening the pizzeria

Right down the block
- If it's about that liquor license,

I'm not signing.

Please, I've been at this
for hours. Just hear me out.

Well, I never could resist
a pretty lady.

Oh!
Come on in

Thank you.

Did you live in las ves?

I was a croupier for 40 years,

And as you can see,
I had a weakness for showgirls.

I bet you were
quite the player.

You have no idea.

can I top you off there?

No, thanks. Two's my limit.

Well, suit yourself.

Look, I understand
your concerns about the license.

Your neighbors had them, too.

But they signed the waiver
once I explained to them

That this is
a family restaurant.

No late nights,
no loud music.

If there's one thing
I learned in vegas,

It's that booze turns most
people into noisy jackasses,

And I don't want 'em
puking on my doorstep.

Come on, harry.
You are my last holdout.

What's it gonna take? Cash?

Uh, free pizza for the rest
of your life? You name it.

Look, I-I hate
to disappoint a pretty lady,

But I'm not signing.

Harry, my husband quit his job
to start this restaurant,

And if we can't sell liquor,
we can't make a profit-

And whoa, whoa, whoa, harry.
eyes up here.

Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Sorry.

This place is his dream,

And if he can't make it work,
then it's just gonna kill him,

And consequently
it's gonna kill our marrge-

And, harry-
Harry, what did I say?

I know, uh, uh,
I don't mean to be rude.

It's just that my showgirl days
were a while ago,

And I can't remember
the last time

I laid eyes on a...
a beautiful woman's...

bosom.

Very briefly
refresh your memory?

Completely worth it.

Glad you thought so.

Mmm!

Me on, baby.
Say it one more time for mommy.

So you can teach 'em
to say whatever you want?

Oh, yes.
These birds are very bright.

I think
they're smarter than people.

Some people, anyway.

Bree! Come in.
I just made some lemonade.

This isn't a social call.

We need to talk.

About what?

About what it's gonna take

To get you
to sell this house and move.

Move? Why?

You're my husband's ex-Wife.

You disappeared so people
would think he killed you.

Does my scomfort really need
any further explanation?

I had no idea
you felt this way.

Oh,please.

Orson made it perfectly clear
we don't want you here.

okay,
now I'm really confused.

When orson came by,
all he said was,

"Welcome to the street"
and did I need help unpacking.

That's not true.

You know what?
I- I think I've said too much.

How about that lemonade?

Ma'am,
where would you like this?

Ooh, uh, upstairs.
I'll show you.

Here, drink this. You look
a little pale. Be right back.

don'tell bree.

Don't tell bree.

Oh, my...

are you all right?

I'm so sorry.
I br-Broke a glass.

Don't worry. I'll get it.

Well, okay... I have to go.

Oh, bree...

wait.

I understand why you might
feel a little threatened

About my moving in here.

But in time,
you'll see I'm...

I'm perfectly harmless.

So... how was
the mystery date?

Uh, it was fabulous.
Thanks for asking.

Oh, come on.
I want details. Who is he?

Oh, some global financier,

Saw me on the cover
of "paris match. "

Good-Looking,
just not my type.

Really?

'Cause I always thought

That you and zach would make
a really great couple.

You son of a bitch.
You were there?

Parked across the street,
laughing my ass off.

I can't believe
you followed me.

I thought you were meeting
a psycho killer for lunch.

I was worried.

Well, at least until

They brought out the crayons
and children's menus.

All right, off my porch.

Okay, but don't forget,
you asked me to watch your back.

Yeah, about that-

Um, I'm installing
an alarm system tomorrow,

So I'm not gonnaeed you
to look after me anymore.

Gaby, I don't mind.

I mind. We're divorced.

I can't keep running to you
every time I get scared.

I want to be the kind of woman
who can take care of herself.

Well...

good for you.

I'm still
right down the block,

So if you do need me...

I won't. But thank you.

Hi.

Hey.

You're home early.

I'm celebrating.
We got our liquor license today.

Really? That's great!

Yeah, andrew said he went
all over the neighborhood

Getting signatures.

Good for him.

But I think he's lying.

I think somebody else
got the siatures.

Okay, let's say
just for the sake of argument,

That someone else did-

Someone who clearly
loves you very much.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing. Nothing. Order has been
restored in the universe.

You saved the day.
I'm a loser.

Aw, come on, tom.

I tried for two months
to get that waiver signed.

You did it in a day.

You can't drown in self-Pity

Just because I helped you
with one tiny little thing.

Okay, but if I tell you that
the plumbing's not up code,

That we have termites

And that the chairs won't
be there until after we open,

Can I drown
in self-Pity then?

Why haven't you told me
about all of this?

Because I wanted to accomplish
something on my own.

I'm the man.

I shouldn't have to run
to my wife to bail me out.

Ow!

Gambling with our life sings
and not asking for help

Doesn't make you a man.

It makes you an idiot.

Come on, tom, for god sakes,
we are a team,

And that restaurant
is a huge undertaking.

No one could do it alone.

You don't ask me for help
with your ad campaigns. Ow!

I don't have to.

You're always giving it to me,
inspiring me.

Remember the mouthwash jingle?
You came up with the hook.

And-And what about
the bartlett campaign?

Would I have ever come up with
tango-Dancing fleas? All you.

There's nothing
that I have accomplished

That I could have done
without your help.

Okay, fine.
I help. We're a team.

Just don't hit me agai

So tomorrow, first thing,
we'll fix the plumbing,

We'll call an exterminator,
we'll rent some chairs

And we will open on time,
and it'll be a glorious success

That you will have achieved
with my help, okay?

Okay.

And tonight I'm gonna
slap on some sex perfume

And you're gonna get naked,

And then we're gonna see
who the man is.

God, I hope it's me.

Oh, m sure it will be.

Hey, mom.
What are you doing out here?

Oh.

Okay, here's the thing-

Don't worry, I'm not gonna
get mad. Just sit down.

You know what
upset me the most?

That you didn't trust me enough
to tell me the truth.

I tried to.
You freaked out.

Well, of course I freaked out.
I'm a parent.

You know,
we hope that our children

will wait to have sex till...
after we're dead.

And you wonder why
I went to edie.

Okay, that's the other thing.
That cannot happen anymore.

You and I have always had
an amazing relationship.

Let's not mess it up now.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Look, I know you think
I'm too young, but...

austin and I are in love.

Yeah, um...

about that...

god, I wish there was
a pill you could take

to protect your heart.

What do you mean?

Honey I-- I was over at Edie's today and...

Oh yes, I need to speak to my husband

yes there is

Would you...

Please ask him to come home
as early as possible tonight

Thank you

It's a dangerous world,

so we all look for protection.

And whether we find it
in the arms of our mother...

Or at the end a jagged blade...

In the kiss of our sweetheart

Or at the end of the barrel

We do what we have to, to feel safe

Beacuse we know
somewhere in the world,

There are those
who would do us harm.