Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel - full transcript

Sheldon takes his first engineering class with Professor Boucher. Also, Meemaw and Dale help take care of his ex-wife, June.

Engineering has a rich

and storied history,

dating back to ancient times.

Some consider it the single most
important field of study...

Okay, w-wha... no. Stop.

I'm sorry.
Howard, I can't do this.

You asked me to write you
an introduction to engineering.

Yes, and if I wanted
a comedy routine,

I'd have gone to Billy Crystal.

Just let me read it.

Engineering has a rich
and storied history

dating back to ancient times.

Some consider it the single
most important field of study

known to man,

from the wheel to the
International Space Station,

which I went to.

Honestly, this again?

Like we don't hear
about your Nobel Prize

all the time.

It's not my fault
people ask about it.

Because you're always
wearing it!

You have it on right now.

Look how shiny it is.

Just tell your story.

My own history with engineering

began spring semester
of my freshman year.

Good morning.

I'm Professor Boucher,

and this
is Civil Engineering Lab.

Class begins at 0900,
which is...

In this course,

we're going to apply
the principles

of static mechanical forces...

I'm in this class.

This class started at 0900,

so... no, you're not.

As I was saying,

Uh, yes?

I appreciate your use
of the 24-four hour time format.

Were you aware that while often
referred to as "military time,"

it actually dates back
to the Egyptians?

I'm aware that the class
is now starting at 0901.

Is it all right with you
if I begin?


One minute in
and I was already his favorite.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

This course is about
practical applications.

This isn't about fancy theories
or what works in a classroom.

If a tunnel collapses, the
only math that's gonna matter

is the body count.

Sheldon Cooper.

Son, I'll learn your name
if you make it to midterms.

Right now,
you're just a number to me.

Ooh, can I be number one?

That's what Captain Picard
calls Commander Riker

on Star Trek: Next Generation.

You need to listen more
and talk less.

Is that clear, number one?

Aye, Captain.




Hey, what's up?
Oh, nothing.

I just called to say hello.

Gee, I don't think I've done
that in my entire life.

You want me to hang up?

No. Uh-uh.

W... But what happens next?

Oh, wait, hang on.

I got another call.

All right, fine,
yeah, sure, I can w...


Hey, Connie. June.

Hi, June. What's going on?

I know you have a hair
appointment this afternoon,

but I'm gonna have to cancel.

Everything okay?

No, I busted my knee up
pretty good.

Oh. Does Dale know?

I-I'm on the other line
with him.

No, not yet.
Yeah, you can tell him.

Okay, hang on.


I'm so sorry, who's this?

It's been so long.

I'm on the phone with June.

She hurt her knee.


Well, hold on.

How'd you hurt it?

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

I slipped on a glob
of hair gel at the salon.

Wait a minute.

She slipped on a glob
of hair gel at the salon.

Oh, nice.

Well, that was worth the wait.

And then, at exactly 9:00,

he locked the doors and wouldn't
let any latecomers in.

That seems a little harsh.

He's so intolerant.
It's fantastic.

He also wears a bow tie, and
instead of using my name,

he gave me a number.

I don't think
I like that, either.

No, it's great.
It's like we're robots.

And guess what my number is.

Number two?

No, number one,

like Riker on Star Trek.

But number two is also good.
Like the pencil.


I'm glad you enjoyed your class.

For our first assignment,
we get to build a bridge.

Professor Boucher was part
of the Army Corps of Engineers,

and he built bridges
all over the world.

You know,
I was also in the Army.

Ooh, perhaps you trudged
across one of his bridges.

How neat would that be?

I bet Dad did cool
Army stuff, too.

Nope. "Trudging" sums it up.

See, number one
is also pretty funny,

'cause it means taking a leak.

Come in.

If you're a robber,
I got a shotgun.

It's Connie and Dale.
Don't shoot.


Hey. Y'all didn't
have to come by.

We just wanted to see

how you're doing.

Yeah. Brought your
favorite ice cream.

Butter pecan?

What's your second-favorite?

I'll put this away.

So, how's it going?

Do you have anybody
to help you out?

Oh, yeah. These little guys.

Elvis was onto something.

Till he keeled
over on the toilet.

He was the king.

That was his throne.

Seriously, now, though,
if you need anything at all,

we are here for you.

That's right. 100%.

Would you stop?

I was being sincere.

Well, that's for the next
dumb thing you say.

Well, just quit
hitting me, would you?

Well, quit being stupid.

For your design assignment,
you may decide

between suspension bridges,
truss bridges, beam bridges,

just not Beau Bridges.

And people say engineers
don't have a sense of humor.


What are Beau Bridges?

That's all for today.

Your initial designs
are due next week.

I finished my design
assignment early.

I admire that initiative.

Thank you,
I stayed up late to finish it.

My normal bedtime is 2100 hours,

but I was so excited to do it
that I took a power nap

in my Meemaw's back seat
on the drive home.

Uh, you'll need
to do this again. It's wrong.

No, it's not.

Son, I'm giving you
another chance before it's due.

Well, what's wrong with it?

That's your job to figure out.

I would argue that
it's your job to teach me.

Let's see.

To start,
this bridge is in pieces.

What do you mean?

Well, two can play at this game.

Well, now they can't.

And then he ripped up my paper
right in front of me.

What is this man's problem?

I don't know.
He didn't even use a ruler.

He just ripped it up,

Do you want me to
call the school?

No, he was in the Army.
I want him to think I'm tough.


Well, I'm sorry
you had a bad day.

How about a little
trip to RadioShack?

RadioShack's not gonna
make this better.

It's also not gonna
make it worse, so okay.

You got it.

Maybe he was just intimidated
by my intelligence.

Or maybe he's an insecure bully

taking out his frustrations
on a little boy.

I like my version better
where I'm intimidating

and not a helpless child.

Okay, he's taking out
his frustrations on a powerful

and intimidating young man.

That works.


wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Hey, baby.


It's me.
Any chance you could swing by?

What do you need?

Well, the recliner
won't go down,

and I'm stuck in this chair
like a damn fool.

Well, that is a situation.

How long you been stuck?

Are you gonna help me out
or not?

Oh, just give me
a moment to enjoy it.

Get your ass over here and
you can laugh at me in person.

Eh, I'm on my way.

Thank you.

Got to grab my camera.

You know it's bleak
when even a trip to RadioShack

couldn't lift my spirits.

Professor Proton will be
right back after these messages.

♪ You're reaching deep
inside you ♪

Go!♪ For things
you've never known ♪

♪ It's been tough, rough going

♪ But you haven't gone alone

♪ Be all that you can be...

Of course.

I realized Professor Boucher

was pushing me to be
the best me I could be.

You'd think the person
who could teach me

to be the best me
I could be was me,

but it was Professor Boucher,
after the Army taught him

to be the best he
that he could be.

Now it was up to me

to help us be the best
"we" we could be.

I think you're going to like
this one, sir.

Do it again.

Yes, sir, sir.

Here you go.

♪ But it was just another piece
of paper... ♪


Yes, sir, sir.

♪ And it really didn't mean
one little thing ♪

♪ To you from the very start

♪ Just another
piece of paper... ♪

Oh, at least use
a straight-edge.

♪ Just another piece of paper

♪ Tearing us apart

♪ And it is
just another piece of paper... ♪

You wanted to see me, ma'am?

Hello, Professor Boucher.
Please, come in, have a seat.

I'd prefer to stand.

Oh. All right, uh, then,
I will also stand.

You know what, um, these are
really not standing shoes,

so I'm just gonna sit.

I was hoping that we
could have a little chat

about Sheldon Cooper.

I'll start.

Sheldon is a very important
asset to this university.

And we like to keep
that little fella happy.

But it seems that
your teaching methods

are making him unhappy.

You understand?

Yes, ma'am, I do.


You'd like me to turn
his frown upside down.

You know, when you say it,

it sounds more chilling
than fun.

I'm just saying

that he's a sensitive kid,
and you are...

well, whatever this vibe is.

I understand.

Excellent, so you'll take it
easy on him?

No. I'm sorry, ma'am,
I can't do that.

You see, uh...

all these "ma'ams,"
they sound polite,

but then I don't seem
to be getting anywhere.

Well, that's because you're not.

You do realize
that I'm your boss?

Yes, ma'am, I do.

And do you realize
that I have tenure?

Ugh, tenure.

What fun is it being president

if I can't threaten
people's jobs?

May I get back to class now?

Oh, fine. And fall off,
or whatever it is.

It's "dismissed," ma'am.

Just go.

I heard that giggle.

Okay. Soup's on.

Mmm. Wow, looks good.

Oh, geez.

Are you okay?

Oh, I, uh, I tweaked my back.

Oh. How?

I was helping June out.

Well, aren't you sweet?

What'd she have
you doing for her?

Yeah, this and that.

This and that what?

Yeah. This and that
and the other thing.

Do you not want to tell me?

Well, for the sake of honesty
and because she might tell you,

I was helping her take a shower.

You took a shower with her?

She took the shower,
I was just assisting.

So she was naked.

For crying out loud,
we were married.

I've seen her naked
a million times.

You think that is helping?

I knew I shouldn't
have been honest.

You shouldn't have been
playing bathroom attendant.

There was nothing sexy about it.

It was like washing a car.

A rusty old car.

Did you scrub her windshield?

What does that even mean?

Her boobs, genius.

I was helping her in the shower

so she didn't fall down.

Well, fine.

And boobs are headlights.

Everybody knows that.

What are you doing?

Watching Sheldon
struggle with homework.

It's so great.

Come on, think.

What's going on?I can't

figure out
this engineering project.

And every time I turn it in,
my professor just rips it up.

Well, ain't this
the fella you liked?

I did, when I thought he was
pushing me to be all I could be,

but it turns out
all he can be is mean.

I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Could you talk to him?

You're in college now.

Don't you think you should
fight your own battles?

Does telling on him
to the president

of the university count?

Did it work?

Then no.

Will you please talk to him?

Ooh, what if your mom does it?

But you were both in the Army.

And you're both
crabby and impatient.

There's a lot of common ground.

You really got under
this guy's skin, huh?

It would seem so.

Lot of common ground.


Hey, June.

Just wanted to see

if you need anything.

Nah, I'm good,
but thank you, though.

You sure?

Groceries? Dishes?

Help in the shower?

Damn it, Dale.

I'm sorry,

I'm just not
comfortable with it.

You think I am?

Last time he saw me naked,
gravity was on my side.

Then why'd you ask him to do it?

Who else am I gonna ask, Connie?

You got tons of friends.

I've got acquaintances,
I've got clients.

Those aren't exactly people

you want looking
at your hernia scar.

And Dale is?

I got that hernia
by dragging him onto the bed

one night he came in
passed-out drunk.

Look, I'm sorry if I

crossed the line, but you have
nothing to worry about.


Look, I promise, next time,

I'll get the kid
who mows my lawn

to come over and hose me off
in the backyard.

Call me.

I'd be happy to hose you off
in the backyard.

I got to admit,
I'm a little jealous.

Of what?



You have the Dale I never got.

I spent a lot of time

polishing that turd,
and you get all the benefits.

Hey, I put my time in
on that, too.

Not as much as me.

When I met him, he was a mess.

You should've seen
where I started.

Well, I think we can both agree,

he is one lucky turd.

Amen, sister.

So, let me guess.

You think I'm being
too hard on him

and you want me to lighten up?

He is having a tough time.

It's a tough class.

Look, I get it.

I was in the Army, too,

I-I'm all for being
strict, but...

he doesn't even know
where he's going wrong.

You know, maybe you could just

point him
in the right direction?

You mean, give him the answer?

No, no.

Would you?

What do you think?


I didn't give you the answer
and you figured it out.


...your son
is obviously brilliant,

but coddling him won't prepare
him for the real world.

I've been saying that
since the day he was born.

Sometimes you have to break
them down to build them back up.

I do that
with my football players.

At least, I try to,
but then the parents

get all bent out of shape,
they come into my office.

You don't say.

Yeah, you would not believe...

Oh. Y-You mean me.
Got it.

You figured it out again.

Hey, I'm two for two.


Did you talk to my teacher?

I did.

So, is he gonna tell me
what I'm doing wrong?

I'm going to.

You're sitting here waiting
to be handed the answer

and that's not how life is.

You got to work for it.

I don't want to hear
a football pep talk.

This isn't football.
This is real.

Your professor's right.

Now, instead
of pouting,

take charge of your own life.

My dad was right.

I had to take charge.

And after 20 more minutes
of pouting,

that's exactly what I did.

But despite my best efforts,

I was still no closer
to figuring it out.

I was going to have
to see my work

be torn to pieces one more time.

Of course.

I'd been so focused
on mathematical perfection

that I hadn't taken into account
real-world elements.

Wind can trigger vibrations.

If these vibrations occur at
a system's resonant frequency,

then oscillation
generates excitation

and a bridge can lose
its structural integrity.

Okay, I'm a genius again.

I couldn't wait
to hand in my paper

and see the proud look
on Professor Boucher's...


I figured it out!

It's wind! It's wind!

I hate engineering.

Wait, so after all this time,

that's your problem
with engineering?


So all the teasing

and all the abuse
had nothing to do with me?

I'll admit, at first,
I had a chip on my shoulder

because of that class,
but then it was mostly you.

Unbelievable. When will I learn?

I could give you that answer,

but if you figure it out
for yourself,

it'll mean so much more.

Goodbye, Sheldon.

You wanted to see me, ma'am?


I understand you locked
Sheldon out of class.

Well, he was late.
That's my policy.

I need you to do me a favor.


Tell me exactly
what his face looked like

when it happened.

Wh... Seriously?

Oh... Paint me a picture.

I want to feel like I was
the one who closed that door.

Oh, I'm gonna sit for this.

Okay, so he approached

the door with that smug look
he has.

Ugh. I know it well.Then,

when he realized
it was locked,

his face fell into shock
and disbelief.


Uh, show me. Do the face.

Oh, sir,

you have turned my frown
upside down.

You are welcome, ma'am.