Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 5, Episode 3 - Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench - full transcript

Previously on
Young Sheldon...

Did we talk about going home
from the bar together? Sure.

But nothing actually happened.

Kind of feels like it.

It does feel like it.

Why does it feel like it?

Hi, Mary.
Hey, John.

What are you doing here?

Well, I lost my job,

so, while I'm figuring things
out, I'm a bag boy.

Aren't you
a little overqualified?

Very.

You've got a PhD.

You're the smartest person here.

Well...

In physics,

potential energy is
a fascinating topic.

Objects like springs store
energy when they're coiled,

waiting to unleash
their full potential

and soar to the heavens.

Would you look at me go!

Even in toy form,
I'm shooting for the stars.

While the potential energy
of an object

can be measured in absolutes,

human potential
remains more elusive.

Sometimes, people seem to have
all the potential in the world,

but for some reason
stay stuck to the ground.

But why are you wasting
your time here

when you could be
doing science?

I told you, I'm happy here.

How could you be happy?

You have a doctorate in physics,
and you're sticking labels

to a case of beans.

I had to work here
a month

before they let me use
this thing.

And yet, I could go buy
a real gun on my lunch break.

Ha! Texas, huh?

But don't you miss
trying to unlock

the secrets of the universe?

Sheldon, I spent my life
chasing theoreticals.

Here, I have
tangible accomplishments

and I get to listen to relaxing
Top 40 music.

Do you know this band,
Air Supply?

They're terrific.

♪ I'm all out of love

♪ I'm so lost without you

♪ I know you were right

♪ Believing...

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

Hey.
Hmm?

What kind of things
you and Darlene do when,

you know, you go out on a date?
Oh.

All kinds of stuff.

But it doesn't matter
what we do

as long as we're together.

Looking for a thing to do here.

All right.

Nice to see you're thinking
about your wife.

I'm trying.

Darlene and I love
to go line dancing.

Next.
Let's see.

There's the Roundabout.

What's that?

It's a roller rink.

They have cool lights and a DJ.

It's like a disco.

So, when I said no
to line dancing,

you thought,
"Let's put George on wheels."

Ooh.

Take her bowling.

I don't want to take her bowling.
Fine.

But it doesn't matter
where you go.

She's just gonna be happy
you're trying.

I hope so.

It's nice to see I'm
finally rubbing off on you.

I am capable of being
a decent husband.

Oh, of course you are.

Don't patronize me.

I could stop, but then
what will we have left?

Well, we don't carry
hockey skates.

Uh, heck, I know of
a place up north

where you can find them.

It's called Canada.

You're early.

I was sitting in algebra
and realized,

don't know what "X" is,
don't care what "X" is.

Boy, I hear "ex"
and I think of a woman

who took half my stuff.

That's my problem.
Mind if I change?

Yeah, please, go right ahead.

Why else would I have
a private bathroom?

Thanks.

Did you like school?
Hated it.

I quit and I joined the Army.

How was that?

Less girls,
more getting shot at.

Well, at least you made it out
alive.

Well, then I got married.

Made me kind of
miss getting shot at.

Have you ever been happy?

Ooh, let's see.

No.

Could you not do that
in front of me?

I need your help.

Why are you in my car?

Well, I was waiting outside,

but then an angry squirrel
forced me to seek shelter.

What do you want?

I need you to talk
to Dr. Sturgis.

He's wasting his time
working in a grocery store.

Oh, then the rumor is true?
Yes.

Good, I spread it heavily
at the faculty mixer.

Well, please.

He won't listen to me.

I'm hoping you can talk
some sense into him.

Sheldon, he's a grown man.

Perhaps in a little apron
with a nametag--

is how I'm picturing it.

That's exactly right.
Excellent.

So, will you talk to him?

Look, if he doesn't want to
come back,

I certainly can't force him.

But he's wasting his potential.

I'm just curious,
if he were to come back,

would you spend
more time with him,

and therefore less time with me?

I suppose so. Why?

No reason. Get out.

John.

Hello, Grant.
What brings you here?

Well, I'm here to convince you
to come back to the university.

A mind like yours
needs to be working

on the advancement of science.

Well, I did that for 50 years.

Now I'm content just keeping
these cucumbers crunchy.

But exciting new things
are happening in string theory.

Don't you want to be
a part of that?

Wasting years scrambling away
at the academic hamster wheel?

Constantly worried

that your life's work is just
one big dead end?

Sure, some paths of research
may not pan out,

but we still have to try, right?

Do we?

Of course.
I don't know.

Einstein spent
the last 30 years of his life

on the grand unified field
theory and got nowhere.

Well, I wouldn't say nowhere,

but I suppose
he never did crack it.

And to this day, no one has.

True.
In fact,

most of his major
accomplishments occurred

when he was a young man,

which you and I
most certainly are not.

Sometimes I look in the mirror
and I think, "Who is that?"

Would you like to give
these cucumbers a spritz?

No, thank you.

Do you sell liquor here?

You wanted to see me?

Actually, I wanted to see you
yesterday,

but you weren't in school.

You noticed that, huh?

I've noticed it a lot lately.

Level with me, son.

Is it drinking? Drugs?

Actually, it's work.

Oh. I don't think I have
a pamphlet for that.

You sure you didn't get
a girl in trouble?

You will at some point,
just take it.

My boss has been letting me
pick up some extra hours.

You just can't ditch school.

It's not like I'm going
to college.

Son, a diploma's important.

Why?

At least at work I'm getting
actual experience

and making money.

Well, you saying
you're gonna drop out?

I guess I am.

Does your father know
about this?

No.

Don't you think you
should tell him?

I don't really want to.

Well, if you don't tell him,
I'm going to.

That'd be great.

You're the best.

You never know.

Come on, Mom,
don't you wish you were

watching television, too?

Clarissa Marie Darling...

You look nice.

Oh, no,
are we going to church?

No, your father and I
have a date night.

Why?
Don't you have enough kids?

That is not what
date night means.

Georgie here?

He's in his room.

What's going on?

George?
Oh, good, more drama.

What the hell is wrong
with you?

What is going on?

He's dropping
out of school.

What?!
Oh, no, you're not.

It's not a big deal.

You better believe
it's a big deal.

You are finishing high school,
end of discussion.

It's my life.

It's my house.

If you're don't go to school,
you can't live here.

Hold on, we are not
kicking him out.

The hell we're not!

I'll pack right now.

Stop, you don't have to go.

Yes, he does.
My house, my rules.

It is my house, too.

Oh, really?
Yes, really.

Is Dale here?

Yeah, what's up?

I would like to have
a word with him.

Better him than me.
Have at it.

Dale, Mary
coming in hot!

Did you tell Georgie
to drop out of school?

What? No.

Well, he did, and you had
something to do with it.

Well, no, he was just
complaining about school

and I told him I dropped out.

Dale,

you know that
he looks up to you.

He does, doesn't he?

Which is why
you need to tell him

that he is making a big mistake.

Oh, I don't think I can do that.

Why not?

Well, I don't believe he is.

How could you say that?

I did it,
worked out fine.

Will you back me up here,
please?

I agree with him.

You do?

You do?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The kid's a natural salesman.

I mean, school's not gonna help
with that.

So, you are fine with your
grandson throwing his life away

so that he can sell fishing rods
and baseball bats?

Excuse me,
those fishing rods provided

a nice life for me
and my family.

What family?

You're divorced,
and your kids don't talk to you.

Help me out here.

A diploma would not
have made his life better.

Thank you. What she said.

She really took his side?

I don't want to
talk about that.

I thought you two
had date night.

I don't want to talk about that,
either.

Why isn't Georgie eating
with us?

Let's talk about anything else.

Ooh. Perhaps this is a good time
for a physics joke.

It isn't.

That's the cool thing
about physics, time is relative.

Okay, here we go.

Why was the pirate worried that
his shoes were less than "H"?

Because he had to walk
the Planck.

Get it?
Because Max Planck is

a famous physicist
who discovered a constant

which is represented by "H."
And then he...

If Georgie's kicked out,
can I have his room?

We are not kicking Georgie out.

You want to start this up again?

Or can we just be mad
at your mom and Dale?

And Georgie.
Thank you.
And Georgie.

Let's just eat.

So can anyone drop out or do
you need to be a certain age?

You are not dropping
out of school.

Until you're 16-- then
they legally can't stop you.

Good to know.

This is exactly

what I was afraid of.

What do you want me
to do about it?

I would encourage you to love
and nurture the one child

you have
who's destined for success.

Dale, it's for you!

What are you thinking?!

I'm thinking I should've
went home

after your wife left.

Georgie's only got
one more year of school,

and then he can do
whatever he wants.

I don't want to come
between you and your family.

Too late.

Listen, I know
you're upset,

but the person you
ought to be yelling at

is Georgie, not us.

I yelled at him--
it didn't help!

Is this helping?

A little, yes.

So I'm datin' a dropout?

No, you're datin' a guy
with a full-time job.

And your parents are
okay with this?

They'll come around.

By the way, can I
crash at your place?

No!

My father already doesn't think
you're good enough for me.

And I don't want him
to know he's right.

He's not right!

He might be a little right.

I thought you'd be
more supportive.

And I thought we were
gonna be seniors together.

Homecoming court,
prom king and queen.

Voted most likely
to stay together forever.

We can still
stay together.

They can't vote for you
if you're not a senior!

I don't think
this is gonna work out.

You're breakin'
up with me?

Yeah.
You're serious?

I feel like I don't have
a choice.

Fine, as a workin' man
I shouldn't be

dating a girl in high school
anyway-- it's immature.

Just take me home.

'Cause it's a school night?

How cute.

Take me back.
No.

Dang it.

This is Grant Linkletter.

I'm not home,
please leave a message.

Dr. Linkletter, Sheldon Cooper.

I haven't heard back from you.

I hope everything went well
with Dr. Sturgis.

Perhaps you two got caught up
discussing physics.

Time does fly
when you're having fun.

So what does it
all mean, John?

Maybe you should
ask someone

who isn't drinking
on a park bench.

You work
your whole life.

It all seems so important
at the time, but is it?

That's a good question.

It puts me in mind
of, uh, Camus'

The Myth of Siphisus...

Siphaphis...

Sisyphus.
That's the guy.

Every day

he rolled the rock
up the mountain,

and every day

it rolled back down.

That's what it seems like.

But you escaped.

You stopped rolling
that rock.

Well, that's
what I thought.

But every single bag
of groceries

I fill, there's another one
right behind it.

So what do we do
about it?

We sing.

What do we sing?

♪ When you're too old to work

♪ And you're too young to die

♪ Who will take care of you?

♪ How will you get by?

♪ When you're too old to work

♪ And you're too young to die?

I don't think I know that one.

Do you know "Lollipop"?

♪ Lollipop, lollipop, ooh,
lolli, lollipop, lollipop ♪

♪ Lollipop, ooh,
lolli, lollipop ♪

♪ Lollipop, lollipop, ooh,
lolli, lolli, lolli ♪

♪ Lollipop

♪ Lollipop, lollipop,
lolli, lolli ♪

♪ Lolli, lollipop, lollipop

♪ Lolli, lolli, lollipop...

I bet those losers dropped
out of high school, too.

♪ Lollipop

Sorry I got riled up.

Don't worry about it.

Mary's over here
all the time yellin'

about something-- it was
a pleasant change of pace.

What are you doin' here?

What are you doin' here?

I was hopin'
to stay here tonight.

Well, you can't.

This ain't your house.

It ain't yours, either.

It's my house,
and I get to say

who stays
and who goes.

Okay, well, I'll be going.

Oh, you're staying.

You can go.

Lucky.

How come Sheldon doesn't
help with the dishes?

When you do their taxes,
I'll do the dishes.

If you don't like
washing dishes,

that is a good reason
to stay in school

and get your diploma.

You have a high school diploma,
and you wash dishes every day.

Thank you. Helpful.

Although I do think Missy
should stay in school.

You think everyone
should stay in school.

Well, I understand why someone
like Georgie would rather work,

but if you drop out,
I think you would regret it.

Why?

Historically,
women in the workplace

have been undervalued.

You don't want to make it easier

for people to do that to you.

He's right.

Not a problem
if I marry a rich guy.

You should marry
someone for love.

You married Dad for love
and there's a lot of bickering.

That's not true.
Thank you.

She married him
'cause she was pregnant.

I can finish these
up on my own.

Good, I have a date
with Fresh Prince

who by the way is so rich.

Okay, here's the deal.

You get one night here,
then you're out.

You're not being very
grandmotherly right now.

Where's the milk?
Where's the cookies?

Do you believe
this kid?

I could go for a cookie.

No one's gettin' a cookie!

One night here is fine.

I'll be workin' more hours
now so I'll be able

to get my own place soon.
Yeah, about that.

I can't let you work
full-time at the store.

What? Why not?

Well, your parents are
pretty upset.

I'm not gonna get
in the middle of that.

I'll just get a job
somewhere else.

That's your business.

For God's sake.

Who's left that I know?

Finally!

The right house!

Kids in bed?

Not all of 'em.

Mary, if we let Georgie
stay here,

we're just makin'
this all too easy for him.

I don't want to fight.

I just want to know
that our son is okay.

He's fine.

He's stayin'
at your mom's.

Well,
that's something.

Although, where does she get off

thinking that it's a good idea

for him to drop out of school

and then lettin' him

live with her after he does it.

That's what I said.
Good!

Maybe they'll learn
to mind their own business!

Will you please
stop fighting?

Oh, no.

Sweetie, no, we're not fighting.

We're just agreeing
with each other angrily.

Here's the deal-- you get one
night here, then you're out.

And don't ask for cookies.

She is in no mood.

Well...

You know who's at my place?

No one.

I think I should stay here
and keep an eye on these two.

It wasn't an invite.

Just something I was
looking forward to.

Later.

Bye.

Did he get a haircut?

It looks really nice.

So how come you're
here tonight?

Were you too drunk

to ride your bike home, too?

My father's mad
'cause I dropped out of school.

Ironic.

Sheldon's upset

'cause I'm not going
back to the university.

Look at us.

A couple of dropouts.

Don't you have a PhD?

Two, but I was
trying to find

common ground

over which we could bond.

All right.

You wouldn't believe
the day I had.

My dad kicked me out.

My girlfriend broke up
with me.

And now I got
to find a second job.

I drank hooch
on a park bench

and sang "Lollipop."

It was tremendous.

I think I saw you.

Were you
with some other guy?

Yes.

What happened to him?

Hey, pal, wake up.

What's happening?

You can't sleep there.

Right, sorry.

Excuse me.

You didn't happen to see a small
bald man around here, did you?

Possibly singing "Lollipop"?

What?

♪ Lollipop, lollipop...

Never mind.

♪ Lollipop, lollipop,
oh, lolli, lolli, lollipop... ♪

Where the hell am I?

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