Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 4, Episode 16 - A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips - full transcript

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Checkmate. You lose.

The 5,730-year half-life of carbon
14 is used as a geochronometer.

- Anything else you'd like to add?
- I read this magazine.

- Why won't you compete with me?
- 'Cause it's fun watching you get upset.

- What's fun about it?
- Everything.

I've never been good at
sharing. I had to share a womb...

Ow.

Ow.

A bedroom.

Rico

Even my train room had
Georgie's sweaty weight bench in it.

Come on, George. One
more. Feel the burn, big boy.

Feel the burn.

But when it came to academics,
the spotlight was all mine.

Sheldon, having you here has
been a real boon to this university.

I did love basking in its glow.

So we could really use your help

in raising the school's
profile even higher.

Of course. My intellect
is at your service.

Excellent.

There's another young physics
prodigy we want you to help us recruit.

Her name is Paige Swanson.

Why would you want
Paige to come here?

- You know her?
- Oh, I know her.

Ah, wonderful.

Just tell her how much you love
the school and convince her to enroll.

But you don't need another child
prodigy. You've already got me.

And you have been so great.

Just imagine what it'd
be like having two of you.

Why would you want two of me?

I mean, I've heard even
one of me is a lot to handle.

Well, you're not afraid of a
little competition, are you?

From Paige? Hardly.

But I should warn you,
she can be very difficult.

Well, luckily, I've had some
practice with that lately.

And how do you handle it?

Usually, I, uh,
play to their egos.

You know, make them feel like
the smartest person in the room.

And they fall for that?

Well, not everyone's as
smart as you, Sheldon.

Okay. Have a
great day. Love you.

- Love you too.
- What are you doing?

I learned it in baseball.

When you don't want the other
team to see what you're saying.

- It's okay to love your mom.
- At home. Here you get the hand.

- Hey, Mary.
- Oh, Brenda. Love the haircut.

Thank you.

I was always afraid to go short,
but I figured I already lost a husband,

what's a few inches off the top?

Well, you look
like a new person.

I feel like a new person. I just
needed to do something for me.

It was either this or
get a tattoo on my thigh.

I think you made
the right choice.

Well, I guess. I mean, who's
seeing me naked these days?

Well, I wouldn't know.

- Hey, Mary. What are you doing here?
- I don't know.

I was just out running errands and
thought maybe I'd make an appointment.

Well, chair's free now.
Come on. Have a seat.

- Oh! Um, okay.
- Okay. What can I do for you?

Well, I guess I'm just
looking for a change.

Uh-oh.

- What's "uh-oh"?
- Well, nothing.

It's just when the women
come in looking for a change,

it's usually
relationship trouble.

- Well, not me. I'm fine.
- Okay.

But I got a perm and a
divorce in the same week,

and I only regret one of them.

Maybe this is a bad
idea. I should come back.

No, no, no. Come on.
You're already here.

Either way, there's nothing
wrong in a little change.

Okay. Um...

What do you think I should do?

Well, when you look at yourself
in the mirror, who do you see?

I see a mom and...

a wife.

Okay, that's the
hair you already got.

Who do you want to see?

Oh. Um...

- Maybe we start with the nails. Yeah.
- That's a great idea.

So now I'm supposed to talk
Paige into coming to my school.

Maybe it'll be nice to have somebody
your own age to hang out with.

Sure. So the next time someone
says, "Hey, look what the kid genius did,"

people will say, "Which
one? There's so many."

I thought you and that
little girl were friends.

Missy's her
friend. I'm her rival.

Well, I think you're getting
worked up about nothing.

Maybe she won't even
decide to come to this school.

Oh.

I see where you're going.

I should convince her it's a
terrible school. That's brilliant.

- That's not where I was going.
- Too late. I'm already there.

What are you doing?

Look at me and tell
me what you see.

What?

- Did you get a haircut? Looks great.
- No, I didn't get a haircut.

'Cause you don't need
one. Looking good, babe.

Lord. Just tell me what you
see when you look at me.

I don't know what's going
on but this feels like a trap.

- I went to the salon to get a haircut...
- Knew it. Looking foxy.

But I didn't get one because
I don't know what I want.

Oh.

You know who's got
good hair? Charlene Tilton.

- Who?
- That little blonde one on Dallas.

People make a fuss over Victoria
Principal but Charlene Tilton...

You're not helping me, George.

I knew this was a trap.

I must tell you that
Sheldon was very excited

to hear that you
might be joining us.

- Well, isn't he sweet?
- He's a peach.

All right, I'm
here. Hello. Hello.

- Hello.
- Hi, Sheldon.

So excited for you to show
me around campus today.

The only reason I'm
doing it is because...

He's excited to do it.
I'm excited he's doing it.

- Are you excited?
- Sure.

Everyone's excited. Yay.

Come on. Let's go.

You and me, together again.
Just feels right, doesn't it?

There's the cafeteria, if you
like tuna salad with hair in it.

Over there's the quad.
It's a nice place to relax

if you like getting hit in
the head with frisbees.

- I know what you're doing.
- No, you don't.

You have nothing to worry about.
I don't want to come to this school.

I'm just looking at it to make my
mom happy since it's close to home.

Well, that's wonderful news.

Besides, I've got offers
from way better universities.

What do you mean? What's
wrong with this school?

It's fine. It's just nowhere near
as good as Harvard or Columbia.

It is too.

If you like a substandard science
department and hair in your tuna.

Paige had made me look at East
Texas Tech in a whole new light.

Of course.

She said she doesn't even
want to come to this university.

Well, I hope you
convinced her otherwise.

She said she'd rather go
to Harvard or Columbia.

Those are all perfectly fine schools.
But we have a lot to offer here too.

I told her that but
she said I was settling

because I want to live
close to my mommy.

- That's ridiculous.
- That's why I came here to tell on her.

Well, the important thing is
you're here and you're happy.

I thought I was. But why does Paige
get to go to a better school than me?

Hey, I know what'll solve your
problem. Convince Paige to come here.

Yeah. Wait.

Sometimes I think George
doesn't even see me.

And it's not just him. My
daughter's embarrassed of me.

My boys think all I'm good
for is food and clean clothes.

- Start feeling like a ghost, right?
- Yes.

I get it. I'm a mom.

- So did that feeling ever go away?
- Yeah.

I realized I was doing
everything for everyone else,

and I didn't have
anything left for me.

So here we are.

When I was younger, I used
to love making my own clothes.

I always thought I'd
do something with that.

- Maybe I should get back to it.
- You definitely should.

- Okay.
- Okay. So, what are we thinking?

Actually, I don't think I
need a haircut anymore.

- Thank you so much.
- Oh, my pleasure.

I got to start
charging by the hour.

- What are you doing?
- I'm sewing.

- Why?
- Because it's a thing I like to do.

- I ain't never seen you sew.
- Well, you're seeing it now.

- What you making?
- A dress for Missy.

- Did you lose your job?
- No.

Did Dad lose his job?

It's about me doing
something for myself.

- All right. Don't get sassy.
- Hey!

- What's going on in here?
- She's making clothes for Missy.

- Uh-oh. Did you lose your job?
- No.

She's doing something for her.

I don't get it either.

Ooh, maybe I'll transfer
to the University of Zurich.

- I thought you liked your school.
- I did until Paige ruined it.

- Why do you care what she thinks?
- I don't.

Sure sounds like you do.

I can't help it. She
makes me crazy.

- Then stop thinking about her.
- I wish I could.

Ooh, maybe you
have a crush on her.

That's ridiculous.

- I don't know.
- I don't.

You care what she thinks.
You can't stop talking about her.

I don't have a crush on her.

- Are you sure?
- I don't know.

Okay, here we go.

"Is it a crush? Take this
juicy quiz and find out.

Do you think about them
when they're not around?"

Lately, yes.

"Are you jealous when other
people give them attention?"

I suppose I am.

"Do you get nervous
when you're around them?"

How could I not? Last time
she punched me. In the face.

That was so great.

"Do you talk about them all
the time?" That's a big fat yes.

"Do you dream about them?"

Oh, dear.

Just last night, I
had a nightmare

that she solved the Einstein
Field Equations ahead of me.

That's five out of five.

You're crushing harder
than Zack on Kelly Kapowski.

- What does that mean?
- Trust me, that's a big deal.

My sister had
gotten into my head,

but I needed a
more reliable opinion

than a magazine that included
the hottest tips for pouty lips.

- Georgie.
- What?

Can I ask you a
question about girls?

Go ahead, but I find
them very confusing.

- Missy thinks I have a crush on Paige.
- Do you?

I don't know, but I
know that I don't want to.

Well, you don't get to choose.
It's just something you feel.

Did you have a crush
on your girlfriend?

- Yeah, I guess.
- How did you know when you did?

Well, one day she came to school in
these soccer shorts, and that was it.

What happened? You
played soccer with her?

No, dummy.

Then what was the
significance of the shorts?

- I don't think I can help you.
- Fine. I'll ask Dad.

Good luck. The only thing
he has a crush on is beer.

I wasn't getting
the help I needed,

so I turned to the
smartest resource I knew.

Love is a funny thing.

They say "the heart wants
what the heart wants,"

but I think it should be

"the limbic system wants
what the limbic system wants."

Finally, someone's making sense.

Well, not to brag, but when
it comes to unrequited love,

I'm kind of an expert.

Well, when I talk to Paige,
all she does is drive me crazy.

There's a thin line between
affection and aggravation.

The Roman poet Catullus said,

"I hate and I love,
and I know not why."

I'm not sure what
to make of that.

Perhaps it would be
more useful in Latin.

"Odi et amo..."

I just want to know
if I have a crush.

Well, does your heart rate elevate
when you're in her presence?

- I suppose.
- Does your stomach flutter?

Yes.

Sounds like your limbic
system might be doing its thing.

Oh, dear.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- That's a lot of fabric.
- Oh, it's not just fabric.

I also got pattern books
and an accessory kit.

Can I ask how
much that all cost?

Well, it's hard to say,

because in the long run,
I'm gonna save us money.

Well, what did it
cost in the short run?

- I don't know. $100.
- $100?

What is wrong with you?

- Why would you say that?
- That is a good question.

- I mean, what is wrong with you?
- Why is it okay when you say it?

'Cause clearly there's
something wrong with you.

So you think it's fine that
she spent $100 on thread?

I think it's fine that she has
something that makes her happy.

- Who are you looking for?
- Anybody but you.

Look, I get it.

One time, Darlene got
all into scrapbooking.

Overnight, our den became
her scrapbooking room.

What did you do?

I said, "Whatever
makes you happy, dear,"

and made love to her in
the scrapbooking room.

Maybe if you had three kids,
you'd worry more about money.

Oh, we can't wait
to have babies.

I just love the way
their little heads smell.

Does anybody in here
wanna be my friend?

Anybody?

Look, Sheldon, you're not
gonna convince me to come here.

You're wasting your time.

I'm afraid we have
a bigger problem.

What are you talking about?

I'm a scientist, and I have to
follow the data wherever it leads,

whether I like it or not.

Get to the point.

It seems I have a crush on you.

What?

I'm as surprised as you are,
but I have all the symptoms

according to both Dr. Sturgis
and the editors of Sassy magazine.

Sheldon...

I'm really glad that you
told me this 'cause...

the truth is I feel the
same way about you.

You do?

I mean, I've been trying to hide
it, but now I don't have to anymore.

- This is such a relief.
- Oh, dear.

This is new information.

I'd been operating under the
assumption that my crush was unrequited.

Oh, it's requited,
Sheldon. It's very requited.

Hmm.

What are you doing?

- We have a crush on each other.
- So?

- Now we have to kiss.
- We do?

It's where the data has led us.

I suppose.

Okay. Now, close your
eyes and pucker up.

This might tickle.

What's happening,
are we kissing?

You bet.

- How was that?
- I didn't feel anything romantic.

Hmm.

Me either.

- Guess it wasn't a crush after all.
- I guess not.

Hmm. That's a relief.

It is.

I went to three classes
before I figured it out.

Good thing I look
spiffy in a mustache.

- Hi.
- Oh! Three days in a row.

If you were a man I'd think
you was in love with me.

Well, this time I'm
actually gonna get a haircut.

- I had a little accident.
- Uh-oh. What happened?

Well, I was sewing
and got to daydreaming.

I love it. You can make
all my clothes from now on.

I'm gonna wear this to the prom.

I was wrong, honey.
You really are good at this.

Boy, am I dumb.

George!

George. Help.

- What's the matter?
- My hair got tangled in the machine.

- So pull it out.
- Don't you think I thought of that?

Well, what do you want me
to do? All right, don't move.

And here we are.

Okay. Let's get that hat off
and see what we're dealing with.

I don't want to.

Oh, come on. I've been
doing this a long time.

I promise you, I've seen worse.

Oh...

It's not bad at all.