Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 4, Episode 17 - A Black Hole - full transcript

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Dr. Sturgis will be
joining us for dinner.

I thought he was
in the nuthouse.

We do not call it that.

That's what Dad calls it.

I don't think we should be in a
romantic relationship anymore.

Are you crazy?

I mean, poor choice of
words, but are you crazy?

Did you know there's a super collider
being built in Waxahachie, Texas?

No.

I've taken a job there.

Well, I hope that you're ready to
hear him freak out when you tell him.

A supercollider?

Well, you can't say no to that.

I give up.

Ooh, can you get
me a bumper sticker?

I never cared for surprises.

My Meemaw, on the other
hand, thought they were a hoot.

And it's a good thing
because instead of finding

the paper on her
doorstep, she found...

What are you doing here?

I wanted to surprise you.

Mission accomplished.

Oh, good.

So, how's everything going
with your supercollider?

Well, up until Wednesday
at 6:43, wonderful.

What happened at 6:43?

That's when they fired me.

What? Why did they fire you?

Uh, probably because
of what happened at 6:14.

So, Dr. Sturgis, what would
you say to local residents

who are concerned about
the supercollider's safety?

Is there a chance that Waxahachie
could be the next Chernobyl?

Absolutely not.

The supercollider is very
different from a nuclear power plant.

This can't melt down.

The worst it could do would be
to create a microscopic black hole.

And what would that do?

Well, it's unlikely, but, uh...

It could grow until it swallowed up
the entire Earth and possibly, the Moon.

Next question.

Do you really think your
supercollider could make a black hole?

There is about a one in
a trillion chance it could.

Friendly advice, next
time somebody asks you

if your work could
destroy the world,

just say, "No."

I'm not sure there's
going to be a next time.

What do you mean?

I've been doing science all my
life, and it's time for something else.

Like what?

Maybe scrimshaw.

That's carving art
into whale bone.

You really want to spend
your day carving a whale bone?

I don't know what
else I'd do with it.

Well, come on,
you're a scientist.

This is just silly.

Connie, I'm 72,

and just lost my dream job.

Right now, uh, I think I
need to, uh, take a step back.

The Texan in me wants to
say, get back on the horse.

But I won't.

It's so exciting he's
back. How did he look?

The same.

Good, I was afraid he
might have shrunk more.

Although maybe you both
shrunk and you couldn't tell.

Hey, I'm still taller
than you, so watch it.

It'll be great to have
him back at the university.

Actually, it doesn't
sound like he's going back.

Why not?

He's a little upset about getting
fired and says he's ready for a change.

An old person trying
something new?

That's funny.

You'll be old one day too, pal.

I already don't like
new things, bring it on.

Why would I re-hire him?

He just caused a panic
about the supercollider.

They say, "There's no
such thing as bad publicity."

That's a quote
from P. T. Barnum.

I don't care.

Do you care that the
"P" stood for Phineas?

No.

Then I won't tell you
what the "T" stood for.

Great.

Taylor.

Sheldon, Dr. Sturgis quit right
before the semester started.

He left me in the lurch.

And this is your chance
to be the bigger person.

I don't want to be
the bigger person.

I'll be the small, petty
person, that's way more fun.

Please?

It would make me really
happy if he came back.

And you said yourself, my
happiness is important to the university.

Are you trying to manipulate me?

Hey, being small
and petty is fun.

Anyway, Dr. Sturgis, we'd
love to have you back here.

What do you mean, other job?

What other job?

Hi, Mary.

Hey, John. What
are you doing here?

Well, I lost my job.

So while I'm figuring
things out, I'm a bag boy.

Although at my age,
"boy" is pushing it.

Aren't you a little
overqualified?

Very.

Hey, why don't you join
us for dinner this weekend?

Sheldon would love to see you.

Oh, that'd be wonderful.

Cleanup on aisle two.

That's me.

Madge, can you finish up here?

I have a date with a mop.

He's really smart.

Thanks for inviting
John to dinner tonight.

Oh, my pleasure.

I've been a little bit
worried about him,

you know, with what
happened last time.

At least he didn't seem
unstable when I talked to him.

The man has a doctorate in science,
and he's filling people's grocery bags.

He actually did
a really nice job.

He put the heavy
things on the bottom.

He kept the cold
things together.

Mary.

Well, they don't always do that.

I just hate to see
him give up like this.

Who're you talking about?

Dr. Sturgis.

What'd he give up?

Science.

He's working at
the grocery store.

At least he didn't
give up being weird.

He is also coming over for
dinner, so behave yourself.

I can behave at school
or I can behave at home.

Can't do both.

Well, it's so wonderful to see
you all. Thank you for having me.

It's great to see you, too.

And Mary, I believe I
recognize these Tater Tots

from when I packed
them in your bag.

You're killing me.

So you work at the
grocery store now?

I do.

Just out of curiosity,
would you say I look 21?

Mmm, I suppose.

And what nights
do you work again?

He's not selling you beer.

Well, of course not.

I can't believe
they would fire you

just for mentioning a
theory about black holes.

It's just as well.

Maybe it was time this old
horse was put out to pasture.

Don't say that, you're not old.

- He's not?
- No.

- But look at his bald...
- Eat your peas.

I can't understand why you wouldn't
want to come back to the university.

Science is a young man's game.

But we could work
on something together.

If you average out our ages,

we're a lean, mean,
forty one and a half.

Still too old to be
bagging groceries.

I know it's unorthodox,
but I'm enjoying it.

Tornado this time of year?

There's not a cloud in the sky.

Information is still coming in,

but a black hole has been
detected in Waxahachie, Texas.

Oh, my Lord.

Sources report it was
caused by the super collider.

The black hole is growing
exponentially across Texas,

destroying
everything in its path.

This is an emergency situation.

Repeat.

This is an
emergency situation...

John, what do we do?

There's nothing we can do.

He's right. It's going to
create a gravitational field

that will consume
everything around it.

Should we evacuate?

We can't. We
could never outrun it.

Well, how much time do we have?

Minutes at best.

- Daddy, I'm scared.
- It's okay, baby.

We need to pray right now.

You do that. I'm having a beer.

Oh, everybody hold hands.

Heavenly Father,
watch over us...

I don't want to spend my
last moments on Earth praying.

Yeah, if we only got a few minutes
left, I want to spend it talking to y'all.

You were all the light of my
life and I love you so much.

Daddy.

Oh, I got you.
I'm not letting go.

I never said it
enough, but I love y'all.

Kids, you have made
me a very proud father.

I'm not ready.

There's so many
things I want to do.

Well, you better
pick one right now.

Okay, um...

I just want to say I'm sorry
for every time I was bad

and any time I was
mean to Sheldon.

It's okay.

It's just so funny
when he's upset.

But I'm still sorry about it.

I'm sorry, too.

Dad, I've been awful,
especially to you.

- No, you haven't.
- I have.

Well, we're good.

Okay, we are done talking.

I love you all, but it
is really time to pray.

Our Father, who art in
heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be
done, on Earth as it is in heaven.

Is that really what would
happen if there was a black hole?

One of the possibilities.

Are they all such a bummer?

Not necessarily.

There's a theory
that an event like that

could open a wormhole
into an alternate universe.

So, what goes on in
an alternate universe?

Anything, really.

It could be slightly different from
this one or the complete opposite.

That's true.

So, if a black hole transports
us to an alternate universe,

would we even know it?

Probably not.

To us, it'd be as normal
as boots on a cowboy.

That is wild.

Dr. Sturgis is correct.

If indeed we grew up
in another universe,

our sense of normality would
be formed by that universe.

That's enough. There
are no other universes.

The Bible tells us God created
the "Earth," not the "Earths."

Ugh, why did I have
to marry a preacher?

Because it was God's
will to bless us with union.

I hope it's His plan that
I hit the clubs tonight,

because that's going to happen.

Why am I the only
normal one in this family?

If you're the only normal one,
statistically speaking, you're abnormal.

Freak.

Stop picking on him.

You're going to give him a
complex and he'll end up in therapy.

You New Yorkers
and your therapy.

Only therapy I ever got was on
my backside from Pappy's belt.

Oh, spanking. That's hot.

I think you should
all be in therapy.

All the answers I
need are right here.

Hey, I know what will
make this family happy.

A puppy.

Animals are excellent
for emotional support.

Only thing I need
for emotional support

is a warm shotgun
and a cold beer.

This guy knows how to party.

You seem to be interested in
this alternative universe thing.

Maybe that's something
you could work on.

Maybe there's another universe
where I'm already doing that.

Sure.

But maybe you
could do it in both.

What are you getting at?

Just that instead of wasting
your time bagging groceries,

you could be working
on something worthwhile.

There's nothing wrong with
me trying something new.

But you've got a PhD, you're
the smartest person here.

- Well...
- Connie.

I'm happy doing what
I'm doing right now.

I don't believe that.

Excuse me?

You know more about how I
should live my life than I do?

Yeah, maybe.

May I speak with you outside?

John, I'm sorry. I don't mean to
push, but I just... I worry about you.

You do?

Of course.

You know I care about you.

That means a lot.

The truth is, if I could live
in an alternate universe,

I'd live in one where
we never broke up.

I hope it's okay to say that.

It is. Because I wish it, too.

Oh, Connie.

John.

- John? John?
- Huh?

If you could live in
an alternate universe,

what would it be?

Well, I haven't really
given it any thought.

Another theory of black holes
involves Hawking radiation.

Right. Near the event horizon,
virtual particles are being created.

Actually, twin
virtual particles.

Wait. What's an event horizon?

It just means the edge.

Why not say "the edge?"

The guitar player for
U2 is called The Edge.

What does that have
to do with anything?

I'm participating in the conversation,
you're just sitting there like a lump.

Lump.

Anyway,

ordinarily, the particles would
collide and destroy each other.

But in this instance, they
could exist simultaneously.

What is the
significance of that?

I can participate, smart ass.

Good job, lump.

One interpretation would be if I
was standing at the event horizon,

I could interact
with my own twin.

I've interacted with
you, it's not great.

I think if there were two of
me, we'd be unstoppable.

So, if we add the information entropy
we'll get the result we're looking for.

That's brilliant.

I had a feeling you'd like it.

That's what the back of
my head looks like, nice.

We'll call it the
Cooper-Cooper Theorem.

Perfect. Wait. Which
Cooper comes first?

This Cooper.

Why you?

I'm the original.
You're just my twin.

Don't say it like you're better
than me, we're exactly the same.

I don't appreciate your
condescending tone.

It's your tone. We're
the same person.

If we're the same person,
why are you so annoying?

- Stop it.
- You stop it.

What are you
going to do about it?

I don't know. I've never
been in a fight before.

Well, you're about to be.

This is ridiculous.
Are you done?

Not even close, then Sheldon
One grabs Sheldon Two.

Ow, ow, my eyes, my eyes!

Are you okay?

I am now.

Okay, enough.

That's how you participate.

Thank you for walking me home.

It's the gentlemanly
thing to do.

Although, to be honest,
if we were attacked,

I'd be counting on
you to get us out of it.

- John.
- Yeah?

You doing okay?

Well, getting fired was tough,

but I'm glad to be
back here in town.

I'm glad you're back, too.

But if you feel
yourself slipping again,

promise me you'll get some help.

I promise.

Oh, good. I worry about you.

You do?

Of course.

That means a lot.

Well, this is me.

Guess I'll be seeing you
next time you go shopping.

I'll look forward to it.

Connie?

Yeah?

Tuesdays are double coupons.

Good to know.

We often regret the
things we don't say.

There's a lot of things I wish I had
said to my dad while he was around.

That I appreciated
him, that I loved him.

Which is why I'm grateful for
the times I did tell him how I felt.

Tonight was fun.

Yeah, why was that?

Dr. Sturgis was here,
everybody talked about science.

It was nice.

It was.

How are you?

You got ID?

Yeah.

Dang it.

I must have left it
in my wife's minivan.

I can't sell this to you.

I'm 21, I swear.

- You can ask Dr. Sturgis.
- Who?

The old guy over
there. Dr. Sturgis?

Hey.

Never mind.