Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 18 - A Couple Bruised Ribs and a Cereal Box Ghost Detector - full transcript

When George Sr. accidentally lands the school librarian in the hospital, the Cooper family must nurse her back to health; Meemaw gives Georgie relationship advice.

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Well, we've covered
football and grandkids...

Maybe we've run out
of stuff to talk about.

We forgot about your ex-husband.

The one you're dating.

Well, I know not to piss
him off during a hailstorm.

Well, did he tell you that I was naked

when he locked me out?

What were you doing naked

with a golf club in a hailstorm?

Ah, you know, it was the '70s.

I was just calling to let
you know I read your paper.

The masses for your
neutrinos are impossible.

I completely rewrote the
whole thing from scratch.

I know credits are usually
listed alphabetically,

but I'm completely fine
with my name going second.

I'm not putting your
name on it in any way.

- Grant Linkletter.
- Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work

and is using it in his own paper.

How dare you accuse me of plagiarism!

I don't want to see
you in my class anymore.

I see, Dr. Sturgis.

Yes, that is unforgivable behavior.

Okay. Bye.

Did he apologize?

No. He is very upset with you.

Well, I'm upset with him.

That doesn't excuse you from trying

to get him in trouble by
calling Dr. Linkletter.

Who else was I supposed to tattle to?

I doubt his mother's still alive.

Sheldon, I understand why you're upset,

but you still owe him an apology.

Then you don't understand.

Well, for now, it sounds like you two

could use a little quiet time.

Fine. I'll switch over
to Dr. Linkletter's class.

He's a foot taller than Sturgis

and can reach more of the chalkboard.

What I meant was...

maybe it's time to take a
break from your college classes.

What? Why? I've gotten straight As.

I know you're smart enough for college.

I'm just not sure you're mature enough.

Well, it appears you've
backed me into a corner.

I would throw a tantrum right now,

but that would just prove your point.

Where are you going?

To play with my trains.

Which may sound immature, but
it's a hobby many old men enjoy.

I'm the only cheerleader
you should be looking at.

Oh. Hi. Oh, I was trying to find you.

- Just wanted to wish you a good game.
- Thank you.

- I'm gonna be cheering for you.
- Great.

Unless I catch you
looking at someone else.

Then you'll regret it.

I'm not kidding.

Hi, George.

Oh, hey, Ms. Hutchins.

I don't think I've ever
seen you at a game before.

Well, uh, it's Friday,
and I promised my therapist

- I'd try one new thing a week.
- And you picked football.

Good for you.

I don't suppose Sheldon's here?

Nah, he doesn't much
care for outdoor sports.

Or sports.

Or the outdoors.

I was hoping I'd have
someone to sit with.

- Ah, sorry.
- That's okay.

It was my fault for
letting myself feel hope.

You're welcome to watch
from the sidelines.

Thanks. Watching life
go by from the sidelines

is kind of my thing.

Hey, heads up!

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

I don't think so.

Call an ambulance.

Don't worry,

we're gonna get you taken care of.

If I die, tell my therapist I hate him.

And who says

you have to be mature to go to college?

I've seen Animal House.

- You have?
- Well, I've seen the poster.

Those people are not college material.

Moon Pie, I know you
don't like to hear this,

but there are some things in life

that can only be learned in time.

So you must have learned them all, huh?

Get out of my house.

Hang in there. I'm hangin'.

Hey, this will be quite a story
to tell your grandkids, huh?

I live alone. I'm single.

I don't think grandkids
are in the picture.

Oh. Well, I... I got
a wife, kids. It's...

It's overrated.

And then my mother said

I wasn't mature enough for college.

Can you believe that?


So you're on their side, too?

I'm Vietnamese. In my culture,

until your parents die,

- you're basically a baby.
- Really?

My grandmother still
treats my dad like a child.

At dinner, he can't sit until she sits,

and he can't speak until he's spoken to.

Well, I'm glad I'm not Vietnamese.

It's not as fun as I make it look.


Well, you can't bring her
home to an empty apartment.

Bring her here, and we'll look after her

until she's back on her feet.

- You sure?
- Of course.

We'll set her up in Georgie's room.

Thanks, Mare. See you in a bit.

Hey, George.

It's real nice of you,
taking care of her like this.

Well, it was kinda my fault.

Kinda? It was all your fault.



Hey. How'd we do?

- You didn't miss anything.
- That bad?

I can safely say you saw
the best hit of the night.


How's she doing?

Well, not bad.

Could be worse.

A little whiplash,

couple of bruised ribs,

broken arm...

and collarbone.

But that's it.

Pretty funny how you
jumped out of the way

and let her get clobbered.

I did not jump out of the way!

Oh, yeah, you did.

They got you on tape.

Okay, fine.

But that was pure instinct.

Besides, she shouldn't have
been standing on the sidelines.

Why was she there?

I told her she could.

Oh, man, you must feel terrible.

Yeah, of course I do.

I mean, it's all on you.

You done?

Oh-ho-ho, baby, I'm
just getting started.

Oh, you poor dear. Come on in.

Thanks. I hope I'm not putting you out.

Of course not.

Hi, Sheldon.

Can you believe my mother
said I can't go to college?

So you just put her in my
room without consulting me?

Consulting you?

Who cares what you think?

Well, I ain't gonna sleep on the couch.

It's just for a few nights

until she can take care of herself.

Can I at least stay at Meemaw's?

If you promise not to come back.

Why you got to be so mean to me?

It just feels right.

And then after Dr. Sturgis
incorporated my math,

he refused to give me a coauthor credit.

Sheldon, she doesn't
want to hear about that.

It's okay.

So, when your bones broke,
did you hear a crunch?


- Did my dad have to give you mouth-to-mouth?
- No.

I don't know how my mom kisses him.

Next up, we have this rose..

Who buys this crap?

Me, after three beers.

I mean, look at this damn thing.

What was I thinking?

Can I ask you a personal question?

You're not in my will.

It's about my girlfriend.


Uh, nothing bad.

It's just, I've been
seeing Jana for a while now,

and I like her fine...

but it feels like she's getting
more serious than I want to be.

Georgie, until you're married,

you are not tied down to anybody.

You just go ahead and
do whatever you want.

Play the field. Have some fun.


That's what Dale said, too.

Oh, did he?


My boyfriend?


If I don't go

to college, what am I supposed to do?

Spend all my days in high school?

How sad is that?

Pretty sad.

You always did get me.

Sounds like you're
feeling misunderstood.

I am... by Dr. Sturgis, my mother,

and possibly the entire
Vietnamese culture.

Do you understand that I'm in
a little bit of pain right now?

Oh, I'm sorry. I should
be exhibiting compassion.


Wait, I can do better.


Nailed it.

It's time for your pain pill.

Be careful. You could become addicted

and lose your job.

Which is all you have.

Get out of here.

Thank you.

You-you comfortable?

Can I get you anything else?

No. I-I'm okay.

You've been so kind to
welcome me into your home.

Well, it's the least we could do.

It's so nice to be
around a family like this.

I've been alone

for... so long.

Honestly, if it weren't for
the cats, I'd have no one.

Oh, wait. The cats!

I abandoned Edgar and Allan.

Edgar and Allan?

Poe ran away.

Would you please go feed them
and tell them I love them?

Uh... any chance this
could wait till morning?

I guess.

Where you off to?


So you think he's seeing somebody else?

I don't think I should
be talking about this.

- He's my boss.
- Well, he's my boyfriend, so spill it.

It's weird when old
people say "boyfriend".

Fine. My lover.

Well, that's worse.

Then talk!

The only woman I've really seen him with

- is his ex-wife.
- Oh, yeah, but he hates her.

Don't seem like it.

What do you mean by that?

- They seem friendly.
- How friendly?

- I don't know. He's nice to her.
- How nice?!

Do you mind? I'm trying to watch this.

Now look at this little guy...

Son of a bitch!

Here! Edgar! Or Allan.

Whichever the hell one you are.

They ever leave the store together?

Can I please just go to bed?

Just answer the damn question.

I feel like I'm gonna
get fired for this.

Georgie, don't worry.

Anything you say is
gonna stay right here.

But you lie all the time.

I learned to lie from you.

See what a special bond we have?

Now answer the damn question!

Why were you gone for so long?

I don't want to talk about it.

- Whoa.
- What's that?

It's a ghost detector
that came in my cereal box.

It's just a piece of paper.

Then why did it move in my hand?

From perspiration.

Or ghosts.


Did you check on Ms. Hutchins?

Is she still alive?

Of course she is. Why?

No reason.

I'm gonna go eat my breakfast with her.

Sheldon, just let her rest.

It's okay. She enjoys my company.

Also, she understands what I'm
going through with Dr. Sturgis.

Excuse me.

I am just trying to help you grow up

to be a functional adult.

Me? This one's looking
for cereal ghosts.

Looking for and found 'em.

I don't care. You are
not ready for college.

If it were up to you, I'd
still be in grade school.

If you think this is
mature behavior, it isn't!

Being a mom's hard, isn't it?


If you ever want to talk about it,

I'm here for you.

Ooh, it's moving again.

You're so lucky.

You're gonna have to
walk me through that.

Well, you don't have anyone
in your house telling you

what you can or can't do.

Right, Sheldon.

I don't have anyone.

I just said that.

Are you becoming a drug addict already?


Got you some Shipley's
Do-Nuts and coffee.

What happened to your face?

Oh. Uh...

either Edgar or Allan.

Oh, that was Edgar.

He can be a rascal.

Good mornin'.


Did you sleep good?


Want some pancakes?


Just one more question about Dale.


There we go.

Nice little bite-size pieces.

Thanks, George,

but I-I think I can manage.

No, no. My pleasure.

He feels so guilty, he'll
do anything you ask him.

- That's enough from you.
- He bought me

an Easy-Bake Oven when he
closed the car door on my thumb.

Unlike my mother, who feels no guilt

after hurting her children.

How dare you.

I am trying to keep you safe

until such a time as you
can make adult decisions.

- I can make them now.
- Hey, hey. We have a guest.

Let's pretend like we like each other.

Mare, do your grace thing.

♪ I love the melody... ♪

You okay with Mexican?

Oh, yeah. Terrific.

All right.

Now, I got Tums in the
glovebox for the ride home.


So, you talk to June lately?

Uh, not in a couple of days. Why?

Oh, no reason.

I was just kind of thinking
about calling her myself.

I mean, if you're okay with that.

You want to call my ex-wife, go ahead.

Call her.

Well, I wouldn't want
you to feel uncomfortable.

Yeah, you would.

Yeah, I would.

I think it's nice

that y'all get along as well as you do.


Where are we going with this?

Oh, just nothing. Makin' conversation.


You sleeping with her?

Lord, no.

She's my ex-wife. Come on.

Oh, my gosh, what kind of
sicko sleeps with their ex-wife?

Where is this coming from?

Are you jealous?


I'd just like to know, you know,

what kind of relationship we're in.

I mean, are we seeing
other people or what?

Connie Tucker,

are you asking me to go steady?

You know what I'm asking, jackass.

All right, all right, all right.

You listen to me. Now, I'm 72 years old.

Do you think I have enough stamina

to go playing around with other women?

You saying the only
reason you're seeing me

is you're too old and tired to see anybody else?

Give me the Tums.

I could kiss you forever.

Uh, that's kind of a long time.

You got somewhere else to be?

No. It's just that,

eventually, we're gonna get hungry.

Why do I keep getting the
feeling you're not into this?

Oh, I am into this.


I mean, we're real young, and
who knows what's gonna happen?

I know. And you should, too.

Don't feel bad.

I don't know lots of stuff.

So, as long as we're on the subject,

are you seeing anybody else?


How about that nutty professor?

We're just friends.

Yeah, well, that's
what June and I are...

just friends.

So what are we?

I don't know.

What do you want to call it?

I guess, a...

committed relationship.

Mm. Works for me.

- Okay.
- Hmm.

It's settled.


This relationship is suffocating me.

What'd I say?

I'm not enough for you.

I didn't say that.

Just be honest.

You want to date other girls.

I don't want to date
other girls instead of you,

just... in addition to you.

Drop dead.

Okay, but I'm gonna follow you
and make sure you get home safe!

Do whatever you want.

If you walk to Dairy Queen,
I'll buy you a Blizzard.

Want me to turn on some music?

Well, this is just delicious, Mary.

Thank you.

Bite-sized enough for you?

Oh. Perfect.

How long do I have to sit here

and sulk before someone
asks me what's wrong?

Maybe people are tired
of hearing about it.

Ms. Hutchins, would
you care to chime in?

Oh, I-I don't want to get in the middle

of a family issue, but...

I will say that I once had a falling out

with someone very close to me.

What happened?

We ended up parting ways on bad terms.

I-I still regret it.

But you were right and they were wrong?

You know what,

it doesn't feel like it matters anymore.

And not a day goes by
that I don't miss them.

Perhaps I do owe Dr. Sturgis an apology.

I was talking about your mother.

I'll circle back to her.

Thank you.

I can't believe you got through to him.

Happy to help.

So, who was the person
you had the fight with?

It was my cat, Poe.

She ran away when I
switched to dry food.

It was cheaper.

- Good night, baby.
- Night, Mama.

I'm really sorry, Mom.

I forgive you.

But just because you
straightened things out

with Dr. Sturgis doesn't mean
you're going back to college.

- Yes, it does.
- No, it doesn't.

I hope you know you're
jeopardizing our relationship.

I will take that risk.

Good night.

You know I'll eventually wear you down.

We'll see.

I'm pretty tough.

I eventually wore her down.

There's just so much
of me anybody can take.

In local news, Friday
night's football game

was marred by a brutal injury,

when football coach
George Cooper saved himself

at the expense of beloved
school librarian Cheryl Hutchins.

Oh, no.

We warn you, the following
footage is hard to watch.

Well, then, don't show it.

Let's see it again in slow motion.

This is not news.