Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 17 - An Academic Crime and a More Romantic Taco Bell - full transcript

Previously, on
"Young Sheldon"...

I love you.

- Veronica.
- Hey, Georgie. What's up?

We're friends, right?

- What do you mean?
- I've asked you out a bunch,

and you've made it pretty clear
you weren't interested.

B-Before I asked out
another girl,

- I just wanted to make sure that...
- It's fine.

Guess I'll see you around.

Yep.

♪ You better wait,
don't go away now, darling ♪

- ♪ Wait... ♪
- Of all my many skills,

one of the lesser known
is my impressive ability

to wait for things.

I once stood perfectly still
for 38 minutes

because a bee
was on my shoulder.

I once waited
four and a half hours

to be released from a locker.

Hello? Anyone there?

♪ You better wait,
don't go away now, darling... ♪

That's okay. I'll wait.

And one time,
when Dr. Sturgis was late for a lecture,

I stayed longer than everyone.

Where are you all going?

Professor's not here.

I can teach the class.

I just need a
box to stand on.

♪ You better wait. ♪

Dr. Sturgis?

Hello, Sheldon.
What brings you here?

You never showed up
to class.

Whoops.

Time flies when
you're having fun.

What could be more fun
than giving a physics lecture?

Finishing
a physics paper.

Ooh, I like
where this is headed.

I'm exploring the notion
that time itself is quantized.

Interesting.

That sounds like a step towards
a unified field theory.

Fingers crossed.

Although I can't cross
my fingers... arthritis.

It's too dark back here.
Do you have a flashlight?

In the glove
box, I think.

Can you pass it back?

No. I'm driving.

All right. I'm coming up.

Don't crash
while I'm unbuckled.

Really? You need to do this
right now?

It's Dr. Sturgis's
first paper in years.

It's worth risking
head trauma.

Look at you climbing
like a real boy.

Here we go.

"A Reconsideration of the Role
of Time Operators

in Quantum Mechanics."

Grabby title.

Mm.
I'll wait for the movie.

Ooh. He's opening with
a critical examination

of the Copenhagen interpretation
of quantum mechanics.

I thought reading in the car
made you nauseous.

That's in the back seat.
Up here I'm fine.

- Oh, Sheldon.
- Sorry.

Well, don't just keep reading!

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 03 Episode 17

Episode Title: "An Academic Crime
and a More Romantic Taco Bel"

I am running over

to the Sparks's
for a little while.

Why?

Team meeting with
the other baseball moms.

You're all right
until Dad gets home?

Oh, yeah.
Harles is in charge.

Look at this.
I'm talking to an egg.

I brought veggies and ranch.

That's nice.
But when I said "snacks," I mean wine.

Oh.
Don't worry.

I got plenty of
emergency snacks.

All right, let's
get to this.

We're coming up on the
end of the season.

Who wants to handle
the team cookout?

- Got it.
- Thank you, Meredith.

- Team picture day?
- That's me.

Carla, you're a gem.

Mary, that leaves you in charge
of trophies. Any questions?

Actually... Snack time!

There's also, uh, veggies.

This is nice.

I like to think of Chi-Chi's
as a more romantic Taco Bell.

So, uh, what do you
like to get here?

What? Oh, uh,
it-it doesn't matter.

It all tastes the same.

Hi. Welcome to...

Oh. Hey, Georgie.

Uh, hi.

I didn't know you worked here.

Well, haven't seen you
in a while.

Oh, uh, you know Jana
from school?

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Hi.

Hi.

So, can I get y'all
started with some drinks?

I'm good with water.

Water sounds great.
Refreshing.

I'm glad Dr. Sturgis
let me read his paper

before he published.

Why is that?

He's getting numbers
for the massive neutrinos

that are in excess of
a hundred giga-electron volts.

Well, good for him.

No, it's embarrassing.

Had a 50-50 shot.

I guess I need to call
and let him know

what a bonehead mistake
he made.

There's probably a
nicer way to say it.

Did you hear how massive
his neutrinos were?

We're well into
bonehead territory.

Sheldon, you don't need
to be rude to him.

When am I rude?

Stay a child
as long as you can.

Adulthood will not
be kind to you.

Neat. The veins on your calf
look like a road map of Texas.

Did you make this taste bad
so Dad would lose weight?

Fine. I'll be polite.

But I still think

we could go to San Antonio
using Meemaw's leg.

Hello?

Dr. Sturgis. It's Sheldon.

I hope you're well.

I am. I just had soup.

Anyway,

I was just calling to
let you know I read your paper.

Wonderful.
What did you think?

I thought your typing
was very tidy.

Your sentence structure
was impressive.

And your theory was...

not without succeeding
in avoiding success.

Well, Sheldon, uh, you don't
need to beat around the bush.

We're men of science.
Uh, just give it to me straight.

The masses for your neutrinos
are impossible.

Are you sure?

Yes. If they were that heavy,
atoms could not beta decay.

I don't know how I missed that.

I'm such an idiot.

You're not an idiot.
You're just a bonehead.

So you're saying
you have no feelings for her at all?

I wasn't at the restaurant with her,
I was there with you.

That doesn't answer my question!

I was hoping you wouldn't
pick up on that.

Did you take me there
on purpose?

Hold on a second.

Is this one of
those fights

where we end up making
out in the back seat?

No.

That's too bad.

Howdy.

Morning. I need to order
some baseball trophies.

Baseball's over there.

So many choices.

Mm-hmm.

You should win a trophy
for the most trophies.

Mm.

Maybe not the trophy
for customer service.

Is this everything you have?

Impressive, isn't it?

I noticed that there are
no baseball trophies

with girls on them.

Girls don't
play baseball.

Actually, my
daughter does.

Oh. Good for her.

And some of the girls might like
a trophy with a girl on it.

Well, then they'll be
very disappointed.

You know what?

I'm gonna take my
business elsewhere.

Oh, no.

And you should win a trophy
for being such a sourpuss!

Ta-ta!

- Hello?
- Dr. Sturgis.

It's Sheldon. I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

Nah, just wondering
what became of my career.

Oh.

Should I call you back later?

Oh, no.
I can be downtrodden

and chat at the same time.
What's up?

I was thinking about
the mass problem of your neutrinos,

and I realized
we might be able to solve it

if some of the particles
have more spin.

Interesting.

That would certainly

get our neutrino mass to zero.

Although it does
open up a problem

with double beta decay.

Hmm.
That is true.

Unless
what it's actually predicting

is a magnetic monopole.

Might be difficult
to control the infinities.

Although,

if you consider adding
faster-than-light particles

like tachyons,
then I suppose you could...

- Quantize time.
- Yes!

Hang on! If we're gonna be
thinking at this level,

I should put on pants!

Can you believe this?

Boy trophy,
boy trophy...

boy trophy.

Hmm, all I see
is my trophy wife.

Nope? Okay.

Look, the only
girl trophies

are for cheerleading,
soccer and golf.

So buy Missy a golf trophy
and tell her it's a skinny bat.

George.

That poor girl has been
watching her brother win awards

since he was
three years old.

I'd like for her
first one to be special.

'Cause you think
it may also be her last one?

I didn't say that.

But you thought it.

Yeah.

Mm.

Hey.

Here you go.

What's this? It's your tip from
the other night.

I wanted to give it to you then,

but I also wanted
to get out of there alive.

Don't worry about it.

You sure?

I'm sure.

So how long you been
working there?

Couple weeks.
Trying to save money for college.

Well, now you have
to take this.

I insist.

Thank you.

How are things with Jana?

Honestly, I have no idea.

Should you even be
talking to me right now?

Probably not.

But I'm glad I am.

Me, too.

Bye.

I'd like to end today's
lecture with a hilarious physics joke.

Why didn't the photon
pack a suitcase?

He was traveling light.

Sheldon.
Ha, ha.

Thank you.

Class dismissed.

Well, our conversation
about my paper

resulted in a very
productive couple of days.

I completely rewrote
the whole thing from scratch.

Exciting. I know credits are
usually listed alphabetically,

but I'm completely fine
with my name going second.

Sheldon, I've worked
on this paper for years.

I'm not putting your name
on it at all.

But I helped you.

You did, but you didn't
cowrite the paper with me.

Is that so?

Yes, it is.

Well, this is an outrage.

After all the help
I've given you,

and I don't even
get credit?

Well, of course you are.

You're getting a special
thanks in the footnotes.

No one reads the footnotes.

- I do.
- Well, I do, too,

but that doesn't mean
I want to be in them.

Sheldon, that's where people get
recognition for helping.

Oh, you mean the help
of using my math

to convert your hazy series
of meanderings

into a well-formed
scientific thesis?

I think you're overstating
your contribution.

Well, I think you should be
wearing a black ski mask

because you're trying
to rob me blind.

Well, if anyone should be
wearing an odd piece of apparel,

it should be you
wearing a baby bonnet,

because that's how
you're behaving.

- Ready to go?
- Very!

It's a good thing
she showed up,

because I do not
have a comeback.

Darn it. When he called me
a baby, I should've said,

"Then I guess you needed
a baby's help to fix your paper."

Very clever.

Turn the car around.

We're halfway home.

It's not that clever.

Why aren't you being
more supportive of me?

Sheldon, John is a lot of
things, but he's not a thief.

So you're on his side.

I'm not.

So you're on my side.

For the sake
of this car ride, sure.

Okay, here's the plan.

End your relationship
with Coach Ballard,

date Dr. Sturgis again,
get him to love you

more than ever,
then when he least expects it,

break his heart and say,
"That's for Sheldon."

Great plan.

You think so?

For the sake
of this car ride, sure.

So shiny, aren't you, now?

Hello.

Remember me?

Ah, I thought you were gonna
take your business elsewhere.

Well, lucky for you,
I believe in second chances.

Now, I know that you don't have
girl baseball trophies in stock,

but could you have one
made special?

Sure.

Great. A custom mold

is 50 bucks,
and it takes six weeks.

I'm not paying you $50
for a trophy.

And I don't have six weeks.

Well, does your daughter
look like a horse?

Maybe she'd like this.

I knew all that God talk was
covering something really evil.

I am trying to make
a special trophy for Missy.

So I'm gonna take this head
and put it on that body.

Whatever you say,
Dr. Frankenstein.

My daughter deserves
to have a trophy

that looks something like her.

So this is kind of
a feminist gesture on your part.

I prefer to think of it
as a maternal gesture.

Let's just split
the difference

and call it
the stuff of nightmares.

It'll look better
when I paint it.

I don't think so.

Grant Linkletter.

Dr. Linkletter, Sheldon Cooper.

I need your help reporting
an academic crime.

Sounds serious.

It is.

That's why I'm using
my serious voice.

Then I'll use mine as well.

What's going on?

Dr. Sturgis has stolen my work

and is using it
in his own paper.

Well, that's quite
the allegation.

It's not an allegation;
it's a fact.

He was getting enormous masses
for his neutrinos,

and I showed him
how to fix it,

but now he's refusing
to list me as a coauthor.

Well, I think he has a point.

Is the "he" in that sentence me?

Because that is a strange way
to phrase it.

No, the "he" is him.

I don't play games
with sentence structure.

Look, I haven't done a forensic
examination of this paper,

but it's not uncommon
to show your work to a colleague

to get their feedback.

But I fixed his paper.

This kind of accusation
could have real consequences.

I'd consider my next steps
very carefully.

You're no help. Put me through
to your supervisor.

Please let me speak to John

before you take this
any further.

All right, but if he calls me
a baby, feel free to say,

"Then I guess you needed a baby
to fix your paper."

That's a good one,
but I'm not gonna say it.

I bet the guy who invented
the spork is a millionaire.

I guess.

I wonder if his last name
is Spork.

It comes from "spoon"
and "fork." Spork.

Oh, my God.
Mind is blown.

You know what you should do?
Cut your hair.

What?

I think it'd look better.

Ooh, maybe a little beard
like George Michael.

I wonder how tall he is.
I bet he's tall.

Hey. I have something
to show you.

What's up?

I was gonna give this to you

at the end of the season party,

but I was so excited
that I wanted you to see it now.

Mm.

What the hell is that?

I couldn't find
any girl baseball trophies,

so I made you one.

Why is her head so big?

It's a Barbie head.
I had to improvise.

You chopped the head
off one of my Barbies?

Don't be silly.
I bought a new one.

I could've had a new Barbie?

The point is you deserve
to be recognized appropriately

for everything
you've accomplished.

You can't give that to me
in front of all the boys.

Why?
It's embarrassing.

Well, we have plenty of time.

I can make the head smaller
or the body bigger

or a little bit of both.

I just want the same trophy
everyone else gets.

But I want you to feel special.

And I just want to feel regular.

Okay.

Well...

I'll make sure you get
a regular one at the party.

Thank you.

Mom, wait.

I get what you were
trying to do.

It's nice.

Thanks.

Can I keep that one, too?

You really want it?

I do.

Despite her many flaws,

my sister did have a soft spot
in her heart.

And a fondness
for blowing things up.

What was that?!

Hello?

How dare you accuse me
of plagiarism?

And to my colleague, no less.

This is my reputation
you're jeopardizing.

Well, give me the credit
I deserve and I'll stop.

We've been over this.

You made a helpful suggestion
and then you arrogantly assumed

that it entitled you
to a coauthor credit,

which it doesn't.

But I was the one who...

I've been your friend
and mentor.

The idea that I would
steal from you

is both personally
and professionally insulting.

Well, I'm sorry
you feel that way, but...

Sheldon, I don't want to see you
in my class anymore.

Sync & corrections by srjanapala