Wonder Woman (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 14 - Spaced Out - full transcript

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

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[dramatic music]

(male #1)
It's the observatory.
Secure the grounds.

Make sure no one enters
or leaves.

[alarm blaring]

[music continues]

(Kimball)
'Take good care of these,
Sylvester Grogan'

'whoever you are.'



I'll be looking you up
at the Le Baron.

The crystals!

[whistling]

Look out.

The collimating crystals
are gone.

'No, no. Call the IADC,
then call the police.'

'Right.'

[theme music]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

[music continues]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

[music continues]



♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪

[instrumental music]

(female announcer)
'Mr. Mac Freeman,
please come to the desk.'

'Mr. Mac Freeman,
please come to the main desk.'

'Mr. Gentile,
please pick up the house phone.'

'Mr. Gentile,
please pick up the house phone.'

That's right, sir.

Fire regulations
prohibit ten people

from sleeping
in a single room.

May I..

I'm sorry. M-may I help you?

Yes, uh,
my name is Diana Prince

and I believe
I have a reservation.

- Prince?
- Yes.

You're not here
for the convention, are you?

That's what this is,
a convention?

Yes. The science fiction
convention.

It's being held at
Paragon Studios down the street.

And we have the misfortune
of being the closest hotel.

Well, why is it being held
at a studio?

Oh, Paragon Studios
is bringing back its old

"Space Quest" series.

The convention
is part of their promotion.

If you'll please be patient
with me, Miss Prince

I'm sure your reservation
is here somewhere.

I'm beginning to hope it isn't.

[instrumental music]

You were running a six-minute
mile, Mr. Kimball.

But then again, it never hurts
for a thief to be fleet of foot.

[chuckles]
Wouldn't want to shortchange
a client.

Speaking of clients,
I was expecting

a delivery last night.
Where were you?

[sniffles]
Had nothing to deliver.

I know the crystals were stolen
from the observatory last night.

- Where are they?
- They're safe and sound.

No thanks to you,
the alarm system layout

you provided for me
wasn't exactly up to date.

Once again, Mr. Kimball, what
did you do with the crystals?

[sighs]
I should think they're on their
way out of the complex by now.

You left them there?

At the time,
I didn't think it would

look too good
if they were found on me.

(Simon)
'You don't seem to understand,
Mr. Kimball.'

There are big people involved

and I hired you
to get me the crystals.

Look, you'll get the crystals.

- When?
- When I catch up with them.

You hired the best, Mr. Rohan.
You'll get the crystals.

Indeed I shall, Mr. Kimball.

Because of you,
or in spite of you.

If you'll excuse me, I've got
a few more miles to run.

(Steve)
'I said collimating crystals,
Diana.'

They were developed for lasers
used in space navigation.

They were on loan
to the observatory.

Up until last night, that is.

So you got me
on the 6 a.m. flight

just because
something that tells

how far away the moon is
was stolen?

Collimating crystals
concentrate laser beams

meaning that
in the wrong hands, Diana

small tactical laser weapons
are not only possible

but very practical.

And you want me to find out
whose hands they've fallen into.

Right.

You got the file of suspects

I sent to the airport,
didn't you?

Yes.
I studied it on the plane.

Most of the second-story men
that you've singled out

I've had some dealings
with before.

No, it's alright.
Thank you.

Diana?

- That's another thing, Steve.
- Here let me help.

You booked me into a hotel

that's filled with
science-fiction conventioneers.

Uh, yeah, I'm sorry about that.

The Torrance people
suggested that hotel.

'Have you been
to the observatory yet?'

Uh, first things first.
Sylvester?

- Diana Prince.
- Sylvester Grogan.

(Diana)
'Gosh, uh,
what a pleasant surprise.'

- Dr. Grogan's son is there?
- Yeah.

[chuckles]
What are you doing here?

Well, I'm in charge of
the C-6 Club moon-rock exhibit.

The science fiction convention?

Yeah, dad arranged it
so that we could borrow

The Torrance
moon-rock collection.

'Diana?'

You here for
the convention, too?

Uh, no, uh,
I'm on an assignment.

Oh!

He's gone into the hotel.

Perhaps, he's trying to find
a higher bidder.

It's going to be a pleasure
eliminating that arrogant fool

once this is over.

Follow him.

Sooner or later
he'll lead us to the crystals.

Alright.

I'll call you when I get back
from the observatory.

- Yeah. Alright. Goodbye.
- Bye.

All those guys in there
are spies or what?

Well, let's say they're not
exactly upstanding citizens.

First, where can I find
the Space Questicon

and second,
what the heck is it?

- Diana, what is it?
- Do me a big favor, Sylvester.

And, uh, have the desk clerk

send this up
with my luggage. Okay?

- Yeah, sure.
- Thanks, Sylvester.

Uh, hey..
Call me Sly! Remember?

[dramatic music]

Can I give you a hand,
Mr. Kimball?

[chuckles]
That's very kind of you.

I was wondering
when we'd meet again.

Looks like you've already set up
shop. You have business here?

Oh, just attending
the convention.

Oh, I see.

Well, then you won't mind
that Diana Prince

wanted me to ask you
a few questions.

Mostly about
some stolen laser equipment.

Ah. Oh, you won't have
to use that.

But you will have
to do something

that you've never done before.

Oh, really?
And what's that, Mr. Kimball?

Catch me!

[dramatic music]

Ah, ah, ah!

Kimball, you wouldn't.

Sorry.

[music continues]

[all screaming]

[indistinct chatter]

(Sylvester)
You've never been to a science
fiction convention before?

I'm only going now
because something here

apparently ties
into my assignment.

Really?

Well, the convention doesn't
really start until tonight..

...with the masquerade contest.

Right now they're
just setting up.

I see.

- What are they doing?
- Oh, those are Logies.

"Logan's Run" fans.

He's a Sandman.
The girls are Runners.

They chase each other
periodically.

They're probably practicing
for a big run tonight.

Tomorrow we're gonna have
continuous movies

and panels with your
favorite actors and authors

and a blood drive for charity.

- What?
- A blood drive for charity.

- Oh, hi, Janet.
- Hi, Ester.

Uh. And we'll also have
all these various exhibits.

Oh, in fact, we ought to go see
my exhibit right now.

- Before it gets mobbed.
- Oh, well, I--

Oh, come on. Come on!
You'll love it.

Basically,
everything's under control.

Oh, don't forget to try
to find that white glue.

I still got prizes
to put together.

Uh, excuse me,
uh, could you tell me

where I might find
a Sylvester Grogan?

Oh, Ester. Yeah, he just went..
There he is right there.

We call him Ester.
I'll get him. Hey--

No, that-that's alright.
He looks busy.

Oh, yeah. He must be showing
her his exhibit.

Wonder where he picked her up?

- Old Ester got lucky.
- I'll say.

[intense music]

Uh, why is the floor moving?

It's a simulation of-of
space travel. It's neat, huh?

Oh, it's fantastic,
but how about

turning the lights back on?
Please.

Okay.

Oh, God.

A rocking floor
and spinning lights.

- Yeah.
- Really impressive, Sylvester.

- These are moon rocks, huh?
- Yep. Yep.

Using the special effects
to display them was my idea.

You see, the C-6 Club
is trying to stimulate interest

in space colonies.

So we thought it was only
appropriate that our exhibit

showed what space travel
was really like.

Uh, please, Sylvester,
enough with the lights. Okay?

Okay.

It pays to have a dad
who's a heavyweight

in the space program.

The Torrance folks
lent us the display case

as well as the moon rocks.

Impressed?

And late, I'm afraid.

Yeah, well, I warned you

I didn't have very long,
Sylvester.

Uh, Sly.

- So..
- Okay.

I'll walk you back to the hotel.

Good.

Uh. I was afraid
you were going to do this.

- Here.
- Yeah.

- This way.
- Oh-oh..

Oh. Watch out for anybody
with overly large handbags

or, uh, for suspicious-looking
umbrellas.

If you have any problems, you
can page me in the main area.

Sylvester, I think
that he can handle it.

Oh, right. right.

The masquerade contest tonight
is gonna be a real trip.

I'm sure you'll have a ball.

(Sylvester)
'Janet, the Black Avenger's
just arrived at the hotel.'

[crowd cheering]

Way to go.
You just ignited a mob.

They should be at the hotel
in about two minutes.

That's quite a panic.

Oh, they'll never find him.
He's not in his costume yet.

Nobody knows what he looks like
without his costume.

- It's his trademark.
- Really?

Well, I can't give out
the Black Avenger's room number.

I can't give you Robby
the Robot's room number, either

so stop pestering me!

I'm here to see
the Black Avenger.

My secretary gave me
his room number.

I seem to have misplaced it.
Here's my card.

You're with Paragon Studios?

Casting department. Features.

Working on a three-pic deal
with the Black Avenger.

I have strict instructions
not to give out any--

- Left-handed Willie.
- What?

Part I've been trying
to cast for three weeks.

You're perfect for it.
Ever acted?

In fact..

Uh, well, I have done
a couple of commercials.

Uh-huh! When can you come in
for a test? Tuesday okay?

Uh, Wednesday's my day off.

Wednesday it is.
3 o'clock. Stage 24.

Ask for me.

Oh, ha ha. Room number?

Uh, the Presidential Suite.

Thanks. You're beautiful.

Thank you, Mr. Mackleheimer?

[elevator beeps]

No, no. Take a nice long
look at yourself.

It'll be the last one
you get for a while.

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[muffled speech]

No more games, Kimball.

He's wearing this
stupid costume, isn't he?

[muffled speech]

Simon Rohan?

(Steve)
'He has a long history
of arrests.'

Usually associated
with military secrets.

Last year it was in Albany.

"Illegal sale of
radioactive isotopes.

Charges dropped because of
insufficient evidence."

Yes. I know Rohan, Steve.

I ran into him last spring
when he was arranging

to bug the UN Committee Room.

What makes you connect him with
missing collimating crystals?

Because he is presently
in Los Angeles.

Rumor has it that
he has engaged the services

of a professional burglar.

And we both know
who that probably is.

Yes. One Mr. Kimball.

I'm gonna need
a photograph of Rohan

to leave with the desk clerk in
case he does come around here.

I'll have the FBI
wire you a photo right away.

Okay. Give my regards to Ira.

- 'I'll talk to you later.'
- Okay. Bye.

Her name is Diana Prince,
and yes, you have seen her.

Last year in New York.

The collimating crystals

are one of the government's
pet projects.

I fully expected the IADC
to send someone out.

Unfortunately, she's one
of their best operatives.

By now she probably
has an inkling

that I'm involved in this.

Well, what do I do?
I got a fix on Kimball.

Soon as he goes for
the crystals, boom, I'm there.

But what about her?

Perhaps, you should create
a terminal diversion

for Miss Prince.

I'm sorry. I have no pen.

Mr. Avenger! Mr. Avenger, sir.

Of your series,
what was your favorite episode?

M-my favorite episode.
My favorite episode.

Yes. Uh, my favorite episode..

That would be the one where
the guy with the pointy nose

falls into the fifth dimension.

Oh, that wasn't your show.

Leroy Leonard's
never been on your show.

- Ah, y.. Uh, we just shot it.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Now, now, I know for a fact
that Leroy Leonard

just finished two films
back-to-back.

He-he couldn't possibly have
had time to be on your show.

Right, uh, he worked for us
on his days off.

Uh, does anybody here know where
I could find Sylvester Grogan?

[mumbling]

Yeah.

Uh. Uh, Sylvester Grogan?

The Black Avenger!

What an honor, sir.
What an honor.

I-I'm, I'm your biggest fan.

I've seen all your shows
at least twice.

My favorite one is where
the guy with the three ears

falls into the fifth dimension.

Would you like
some C-6 literature?

No, uh.. Some what?

C-6, it's a club lobbying
world governments

to build cities in space.

Here, you can read all about it.

Sylvester, I'll tell you
what I'd really like.

I'd like a little tour
of your moon-rock exhibit.

I understand it's really
remarkable.

I-it's from
The Torrance observatory, right.

Yes, sir! Um.

Could you wait right here
just a second, Mr. Avenger, sir?

Janet!

Janet, Janet.

Be a sweetheart, please,
and watch the table

just for a second? Okay?

'Uh, excuse me, people.
Excuse me. Excuse me..'

Uh, right this way.
Thanks, Janet.

Sure, Ester.

Sly.

'This way.'

Ah.. Ha-ha!

The, uh..

- The floor is tilting.
- Yeah, it's supposed to.

Oh.. Oh..

Do you think I could see it
with the lights on?

- Yeah, sure.
- Good.

Here.

Ah! Uh-huh..

Impressive.

Oh, I still get chills
looking at these rocks.

You know what, they come from
a place that wasn't touched

for thousands
and thousands of years.

Yes.

Naturally, you have taken
security precautions.

- I noticed the guard outside.
- Oh, only during the day.

At night when it's all locked
up, we use an alarm system.

Oh-ho-ho!
Sonic detector, eh?

Yeah. That's exactly what it is.

Yes. Ha ha ha.

You can't take any chances,
can you?

Oh, no, sir.
Not with the Apollo moon rocks.

No. Not with
the Apollo moon rocks.

You clever devil, you.

Ah, Sylvester, good news.

Orders from the front office.
I will be at the convention.

Fantastic!

Oh, excuse me. Diana,
this is The Black Avenger.

Black Avenger, Diana Prince.
She's a real-life hero.

She works for the, uh,
government.

Ah.. I trust he wasn't
about to say the IRS.

[chuckles]
No. You can relax.
What time should I be here?

- Fun starts at 8:00.
- Good.

Well, it was nice to meet you,
Black Avenger

and I hope you feel better
after being inside there.

I'll see you later, okay?
Bye, Sylvester--

Uh, Sly.

She's going with me
to the masquerade contest.

- We have a date.
- Uh-huh.

- Excuse me. Miss Prince?
- Yes.

The name is Chan,
with the IADC office out here.

I have some information for you.

A photograph from Washington,
I hope?

Right. The photo.

But, uh, I can't give
it to you in here.

- Let's go outside, huh?
- Yeah.

- When did it arrive?
- Huh? Oh-oh, the photo?

- Yeah.
- Just now.

Where did you get it?

We took it off
our central computer.

- Come on.
- Oh, is that right?

Okay.

Enough is enough.

- What's going on?
- Nothing. Nothing's going on.

Well, what's with
the hammerlock on the arm?

Would you like this better?

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

Here. Grab the line!

You might say that
I've reached the end of my rope

and I want you to answer
a few questions.

And then, depending on
what you tell me..

...you might have to forget

all about the fun
we've had here today.

'Okay?'

Check us in.

[instrumental music]

Mr. Rohan, you're early.

(female announcer)
'There's a message for you
at the main desk.'

'Mr. Ward, there's a message
for you at the main desk.'

Where on earth have you been?

Swimming.

[indistinct chatter]

- We're almost ready.
- Oh, good. I'll be backstage.

- Oh, here he is..
- There's the Black Avenger.

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music]

A little white sound ought to
keep that sonic detector busy.

[dramatic music]

Oh. Oh.

[sighs]

[laughs]

Uh, look, kid,
uh, why don't you go play

in the freeway
or something, huh? Huh?

[laughs]

Please, kid, go away, huh?

[chuckles]
Hey, you want my autograph?

No

Mm-mm, err..
You're missing the masquerade.

[laughs]
You don't care.

Oh.

Here. Oh, I have an idea.
How about this?

[growling]

[sighs]

[dramatic music]

[sighs]
Look, kid, I..

Perhaps, you should
make that kids.

A lesson from you, Kimball.

In order to appear inconspicuous
here, one must be conspicuous.

Now, where are the crystals?
In the case?

- The pedestal.
- What is this, Rohan?

I had every intention
of coming through for you.

You botched your assignment,
Kimball.

Things here have
become unduly messy.

And you, I'm afraid,
have become a loose end.

You're going to kill me?

I'll do what I must
in order to, uh, tidy up.

But first, the crystals.

'They're not here, Mr. Kimball.'

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]

[crowd cheering]

Thank you. Thank you.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.

Uh. "Will whoever swiped
the space boot

from the spacesuit exhibit
please return it?"

Okay.

Now for the moment
you've all been waiting for.

Your host for
the tonight's masquerade,

Mr. Robby the Robot!

[crowd cheering]

(Mr. Robby)
'Thank you.'

Welcome, welcome to the second
annual Space Questicon.

This was truly a golden year
of science fiction.

And if the tomorrows we've seen
on the silver screen

for the past year
weren't enough

soon Space Quest will return
to our television screens

thanks to the efforts
of many of you, I'm sure.

That's it.
Give yourselves a hand.

[crowd cheering]

- Hi, Diana.
- Hi.

- I'm sorry I'm late.
- Where have you been?

Well, I had a little business
to take care of.

Oh!

[crowd cheering]

Where are the crystals,
Mr. Kimball?

I have no idea.

And why on earth
would I tell you if I did?

'Cause there's a chance,
no matter how slight

that you might get
out of this alive.

Our next contestant is Susie.

Modeling a fashion
from the Planet Gothos.

Susie.

Source, her own imagination.

[whistling]

That's some imagination.

That'll really turn
your head around.

This isn't just
a corporate panty raid.

It's the big league.

Big people and big money
are involved.

We're in the ninth inning,
and I play for keeps.

I put the crystals in the
pedestal at The Torrance plant.

They should have been delivered
in the pedestal.

That means whoever received
the shipment here

has the crystals.

Right, Mr. Kimball?

[sighs]

Grogan.

The kid's name
is Sylvester Grogan.

Our next contestants
are from the Planet of Apes

doing their version
of Disco Kong.

[upbeat music]

- And here we have a--
- That's him in the blue suit.

(male #2)
'Mr. Avenger!'

Mr. Avenger, sir.

I would still like clarification
of your comments this afternoon.

Ah. Certainly, my good man.
Certainly.

I don't blame you at all.

My favorite episode is the one
where the guy with three eyes

falls into the fifth dimension.

- You mean, three noses.
- Right. Whatever.

(Mr. Robby)
'Source, from the movie
"Meteor Mutants."'

Boo! Boo.

And now we have
little Ricky Bedard.

[applause]

- Isn't he a darling?
- 'Come on!'

'Give him a big hand.'

Sylvester?

Kimball got away.

No matter.

It won't take long,
will it, Mr. Grogan?

I've..
I have no idea.

(Mr. Robby)
'And our next contestant
is another visitor'

'from another galaxy.
Planet of Heat, the Lava Man.'

[crowd cheering]

Wait a minute,
now, none of the things

you've been telling me check
with the known facts, sir.

Oh, is that right, uh..

Oh, excuse me.

Does anybody know
the name of his tailor?

A-are you guys from The
Torrance Observatory or what?

Just answer my question.

I don't know anything
about any crystals!

Look.

My dad is very high up
in space research, you know?

And I have a gun.

That makes us pretty even,
doesn't it?

Now, Mr. Grogan,
where are the crystals

that were in that pedestal?

There was nothing
in the pedestal! Except..

Oh, wait a minute.

In the storage crate, uh,
loose in the filling, were..

Oh, hey, look,
I just thought they were

chunks of plastic or somethin'.

Where are they now, Mr. Grogan?

I, uh..

Oh, I-I gave them to Janet.

Well, well, she said she wanted
them. I have no idea why.

(Mr. Robby)
'As for our next contestant..'

'...anyone for
a little Venusian tennis?'

- 'Alright.'
- 'Alright.'

[crowd cheering]

I've been trying to find you.

Oh.

Well, I was looking for
Sylvester Grogan.

- Have you seen him?
- They've got him

And they're
probably going to kill him.

What?

Diana?

Kimball?

Look, murder is not my style.

We've got to stop them.
But we're gonna need some help.

Well, I think I know
where I can get some.

No, wait, I..

[instrumental music]

Now we have
two very strange characters.

Mate Ferguson
and Captain Mitchell.

[dramatic music]

[indistinct]

'there's no business
like show business.'

'Next we have two young maids'

'who are not long
for this world'

for they are two Runners
obviously pursued by a Sandman.

[crowd cheering]

[crowd whistling]

[gunshot]

[instrumental music]

I guess what that say about
the benefits of running..

Kimball.
I just spoke to Diana Prince.

- Let's go get Sylvester.
- Wait.

Rohan's men are down there.

'Looks like they're
after something.'

Now for the final moment.

The winner of
the costume contest.

I'm proud to announce
the winner is

Lothar the Barbarian!

[crowd cheering]

I want to thank you all.
Thank you all.

I deserved it.
I really did.

(Kimball)
The crystals!

They're on the scepter!

(Lothar)
'Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, one and all.'

Next year,
I'll win the same thing

so don't even bother to show.

Oh, this isn't in the program.

- Shall we?
- Ladies first.

Come on, Janet,
we can't miss a run like this.

No, no. No, Brad.
I can't just leave right now.

I'm running this whole thing, I
don't even know what's goin' on.

Okay.

Oh, please, don't!

Then start running, Runner.

I'm sorry you're missing
the party, Mr. Grogan.

Oh, ho, that's..
It's quite alright.

I-in fact, I've had more than
enough excitement in one day.

Grogan!

When I get you, Grogan!

Grogan!

Grogan.

Let me out! Let me out.

[instrumental music]

Hold it.

[instrumental music]

- Are you alright?
- Huh..

Wonder Woman, where's Diana?

I've locked someone
in the exhibit..

Oh, there they are.
Those are the crystals.

- That's what they're after.
- Yes.

And so is Diana Prince
and so is..

Well, you see,
once that foreign power

had bought the collimating
crystals from Rohan

they could've equipped an entire
army with laser weapons.

And I thought they were
just chunks of plastic.

- Look.
- Oh, boy.

- You really gave him the works.
- Oh..

You know what?

A lot of people
are looking that way

when they come out
of my exhibit.

Well, Sly, those spinning lights
and that floor..

- It doesn't bother you at all?
- Should it?

[indistinct chatter]

It's the Black Avenger.
The real one.

Poor guy.

He must've found
a spare costume.

I wonder how Kimball
could've gotten away so fast?

I mean, the police were here

within minutes
when that riot broke out.

Well, Kimball is the expert at
that sort of thing. Excuse me.

Mr. Robot! Mr. Robot, sir.

What did you think
of last year's

"The Amazing Planet Martos?"

Sorry. Must've missed that one.

Missed it?
You starred in it.

Oh, yeah, right.
Terrific movie.

It wasn't a movie.
It was a TV show.

Hey, I think you're a fake.

Okay, kid. Okay.
You're right. I am a fake.

Now, I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

The guy who's supposed
to be in this suit

you know,
the real Robby the Robot?

- Yeah.
- He's a lush.

- No.
- Yeah.

Just take a look behind
those curtains over there.

He's passed out.
Dead to the world.

Like somebody conked him
over the head or something.

Go on. Take a look.

Oh, I just wish you
could stay around, Diana.

I mean, you probably got
the wrong idea

about these conventions.

Oh. Not at all.

I always wondered what you did
with your weekends.

Oh..

No. It's been a real learning
experience, Sylvester. Sly.

That's better.

(male #2)
'Robby the Robot's a lush.'

It's true. It's true.
He really is. He's a lush.

- Oh, no.
- What is it, Diana?

[sighs]
Excuse me, Sylvester,
but I've got a robot to catch.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪