Wonder Woman (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 13 - Going, Going, Gone - full transcript

We have a pickup to make.

Take her down.

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪

'When they first came out
of the ocean'

he was babbling about being
chased by a flying saucer.

That's the
first time the Russians

ever used that excuse
for violating US Airspace.



- How's he doin'?
- Still babbling.

"Traumatized" is the word
the doctors used.

He's listed as satisfactory.

What kind of security you got?

Well, 24-hour surveillance.

All visitors, all calls
carefully screened.

- Hospital's cooperating nicely.
- Good.

So far, nothing unusual.

Still no word
from the Soviets?

Now, you kidding?

When one of their jets takes

a nose dive off Catalina Island

you can be sure
it's gonna be a while

before they come out
with an official statement.



Have all the arrangements
for your stay here

in Long Beach
been made, colonel?

Oh, yes.
Thanks very much.

Oh, um, th-there is one thing
you can do for me.

I'm expecting a phone call
from one of our agents

on assignment in Los Angeles.

Now, if you can leave
a message at my hotel

for her to call me here,
I'd appreciate it.

Her? What's the name?

Prince.
Diana Prince.

Hi.

Aah!

Yah!

Psst.

Psst.

Diana told me to tell you
she had to leave.

It was something
about your manners.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Yah!

Eeh-yah!

Aah!

Yah!

Eeh-ah!

Well, this really
hasn't developed

into a very good day,
has it?

And your friend's pictures..

...didn't turn out too well.

You're about to tell me..

...everything you know.

Major Gorovkin.

Major Gorovkin?

Steve?

I got your message
and came right over.

Good. Did you have any luck
with the stolen laser equipment?

'I was tailing a man
who I'm sure'

'was on his way
to wherever it was hidden.'

But, unfortunately,
I was diverted by some thug

who hardly knew his name,
let alone anything

about stolen laser equipment.

So, he's your
close encounter victim?

He's your new assignment.

We unscrambled
his radio conversation

with a Russian base
just before he went down.

'He said he was
jettisoning cargo.'

- 'Then he bailed out.'
- Cargo?

Well, he was carrying something.

'Hopefully we'll
find out what that is'

when we recover the plane.

For sure we're not
going to find anything

more about
the babbling brook.

I beg your pardon.

Yuri Gorovkin is an experienced
and well respected pilot.

He's obviously
in a state of shock.

Or perhaps he's well respected
for his acting ability.

You must be Colonel Trevor?

I am Vladimir Zukov,
Soviet Military Attache.

I'm Diana Prince.
I'm with the IADC also.

I wish to make clear
that I am just as anxious

as both of you to clear up
this terrible mistake.

- That's--
- Colonel, phone call for you.

Excuse me, Diana, I'll be
at a desk right outside.

Uh. That's what it is.
A mistake?

Well, of course,
it is a mistake.

Major Gorovkin
had no instructions

to violate the air territory
of the United States.

And would you tell me
if he did?

I, like you,
have a job to do.

And if we were
honest with each other

both of our jobs would be a
little easier, wouldn't they?

Major Gorovkin inadvertently

strayed over American territory

to avoid collision with a UFO.

Your own military
said so itself.

They also said
that he referred...to a cargo.

What was he carrying?

I have not been provided

with such information.

Mr. Zukov, I really
don't care how embarrassed

'your government
or my government is'

about what's happened here.

My main concern are the people
that our governments represent.

Now, is there something that
we should know about that cargo?

Off the record.

I have told you everything
I can, Ms. Prince.

Well...no doubt
our respective investigations

will keep us bumping heads
for the next few days.

Since, uh, we will be
working together, in a sense

perhaps, you would like to have
dinner with me one evening?

I don't think so.

I suppose your people
keep the IADC pretty busy.

No! Actually it's your people

who keep the IADC
pretty busy.

Good day.

Such an innocent-looking
piece of metal.

It's hard to believe it carries
such a high price tag, isn't it?

All that glisters
is not gold indeed!

Wait a minute.
I'm getting a reading.

It's leaking.

Radiation level
is 5.2 in there.

Just three points
below high risk.

Oh, there's no visible damage.

So, there's really no reason

to disappoint our guests,
is there?

Unfortunately,
there's nothing to be done

until that Russian pilot
decides to do some talking.

My orders are to stay put

until this incident
is all cleared up.

Poor you. Stuck in Southern
California for the duration.

Yeah, only I'm afraid
it's poor you too

because your orders
are to do all the leg work.

Well, until things break here

I'd like to finish up
a little leg work

on my former assignment.

- Goin' back to that warehouse?
- Yeah.

I got the feeling I was
this far from figuring out

what's behind
those laser thefts.

You're gonna need some backup?

No, I've become pretty
self-reliant these days.

Alright.

- Just be careful.
- I will.

Gentlemen, you'll be relieved to
know that Mr. Brown has arrived

safe and sound,
and without incident.

Mr. Brown, I believe you already
know Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones.

Our last encounter
left me holding

an IOU signed by Mr. Jones
for 100,000 Turkish lira.

And it wasn't until Istanbul
that you finally settled

a 50,000 franc due bill
with me, huh, Mr. Brown?

Let's get down to business.

Mr. Brown's dramatic entrance
has set us behind schedule

as he usually does.

Nothing like a get together
between old friends.

Gentlemen.

The subject of today's bidding

one nuclear warhead
recovered from a Russian plane

en route to a certain
Central American country.

'And now the question is,
which of you gentlemen'

and the parties
you today represent

will become
its proud new owners?

The question is, Como

is it worth the extraordinary
price you've placed on it?

Have you ever heard of
my merchandise being inferior?

No, nor do we want your
reputation to be ruined.

That's why we intend
to do some checking.

Excuse me.

Be my guests.

There's no question.

This came from
the Rostov's plant.

It's the real thing.

With this warhead
serving as a prototype

my backers should become
competitors in the arms race

within a year.

Which is why my backers
have no intention

of allowing you
to purchase it.

Oh, I detect a note
of overconfidence

in your voice, Mr. Brown.

Perhaps you and our host
have already made a deal, huh?

I come prepared.

I have seen
the cash down payment

each of you
brought with you

and I am satisfied
you are all prepared.

Of course, the true test
lies ahead. The bidding.

Gentlemen?

Hey!

Don't you know
what a locked door means, lady?

- No trespassing.
- You got it.

Well, I guess there's only
one thing for me to do.

- What's that?
- Leave.

- How?
- Well, uh..

Like this.

It's alright, Wonder Woman.

I've got this one.

Are you alright?

Yes.

I, uh, expected
Ms. Prince to be in here.

Well, Diana had a feeling
that she'd be in over her head

so, she sent me.

She, uh, she didn't tell me

she was working
with Wonder Woman.

Our alliance is strictly
an informal one.

Uh, what have you found?

Well, I was hoping
you could tell me.

It's Russian, isn't it?

Oh, yes, it's..

Well, it appears
to be a map of some kind.

It's a flight plan, I believe.

Filed in Vladivostok.

The final destination appears to
be somewhere in Central America.

I am really indebted
to you, Wonder Woman.

Well, let's just hope
you won't be needing me again.

Here we go.

Steve, all I wanted was
a grilled cheese sandwich.

Well, eat up, kiddo. You've got
a lot of work ahead of you.

Uh-oh.
What did you find out?

Uh, for openers,
Captain Louie

the guy whose name is on
that strip of photographs?

Apparently, he has a lot
of underground connections.

And this amusement park
he runs is just a convenient

cover for his
smuggling operations.

Hey, you want some fries?

No, thanks,
just the grilled cheese.

Okay, well, anyway

he ties in with
the laser equipment

that you've been
trying to track down

in more ways than one.

You remember Sheldon Como?

Como, the government scientist.

Yeah, he's the guy
who developed most of the data

and the equipment that the
government's currently using

in their holography experiments.

Did he defect
or something?

Well, he disappeared
five years ago

but I think
he just changed jobs.

He went from
laser experimentation

to black market smuggling.

It's been rumored
that he's made billions

on illegal sales
of one kind or another.

So we've got
the black market

stolen laser equipment,
and missing cargo

from a downed Russian plane.

Now, the red ribbon
that ties them all together

could be what the field office

just picked off the "Grapevine."

You want a shake?

The red ribbon, Steve.

Apparently, early this morning

an atomic weapon went up
for bids on the black market.

'Probably a nuclear warhead.'

'Anyway, it's now up for grabs'

by people representing various
international interests.

And according to the "Grapevine"
they're prepared to pay

seven-digit down payments
in US currency.

Which means
that the bidding

must be taking place
right here.

A la Captain Louie, no doubt.

Steve, the only thing to do is
to get in on that bidding.

I think I can get a ticket in.

- But I'll need a cover.
- Good.

Remember the gal
who was running guns

for the revolution
in South America last July?

The trouble is, she was just

executed by guerrillas

in the Andes, wasn't she?

That was only a rumor.
It was never confirmed.

Now, Diana, I think
that's your best bet.

'Now, in the, uh,
black market circles'

'she was called "Mrs. Fox."'

Now, you and I will do
the same double agent routine

that we did in Amsterdam
last spring.

Only this time,
we're gonna need

more green stuff.
A lot more.

The field office is taking care
of that little detail

as we speak.

Too bad about one thing, though.

What's that?

'If both of us go undercover'

poor Mr. Zukov is not gonna
have anybody to tail.

Cold war is hell, isn't it?

Don't forget, Steve..

...it'll get worse
before it gets better.

Right.

- Mrs. Fox?
- Yes.

My assistant tells me
you want to talk to me.

It certainly can't be
to complain about our equipment.

Well, the, uh, sights

on this rifle are a little off

which you may
or may not know.

But as you can see,
I've compensated.

Then you've nothing
to complain about.

Well, except for the prizes.

You see, I had in mind
something bigger.

Much bigger.

One that doesn't say,
"Made in Taiwan"

but "Made in Russia."

Such prizes can be very,
very expensive, Mrs. Fox.

Well, as you've probably heard

I always come prepared,
Captain Louie.

But I didn't hear that
you were interested in, uh..

...today's game.

Well, it's others
who are interested.

Me, I'm just a go-between

who, right now, would like
to have her picture taken.

I've always wondered

when I'd have
the pleasure, Mrs. Fox.

Next door in the arcade..

...by the pinball machines.

It says, "Out of order."

But what do they know?

Thank you, captain.

Mike..

...get Como on the phone.

Hey, uh, take it easy, lady.

Just supposed
to check you out.

Well, you can do
your checking from there.

Okay. Okay.

You look fine.

Except for the piece.

Better?

Lots.

'Nine million six hundred.'

Nine million seven five.

This is insanity!

None of us intended
to go this high!

I'm Sheldon Como, your host
on this charming adventure.

- This is Mr. Lucas.
- Mrs. Fox.

It's an honor, Mrs. Fox,
and I might add, a pleasure.

Well, where are the others?

First things first.

There is the matter
of a small down payment

'should yours prove
to be the highest bid.'

Well, the money
is in Long Beach.

I wasn't about
to bring it with me.

- No offense.
- None taken.

Where in Long Beach?

The old nautical shop.

A colleague of mine is there
waiting to hear from you.

Take someone with you..

...call me when you're sure
all is well.

Which, of course, includes..

I hope that's all he is,
a colleague.

Not a friend or lover.

Well, he means nothing to me.

But there is a password.

Tell him..

...it'll get worse
before it gets better.

And he'll play dumb
until he hears that.

And then..

...he will play dumb forever.

Well, when do I meet
my competition?

After I hear from Lucas.

Once we've dispensed
with that formality

I'll introduce you.

Mr. Jones is here,
Mr. Brown and Mr. Smith

with whom I believe
you've had some dealings.

Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith?

Of course.
Yes, I-I know him well.

'Nine million eight.'

Ten million.

Ten million one five.

Eleven million three hundred.

Your backers
are indeed determined

to obtain that warhead.

The question is,
how determined?

Why prolong this?

Why don't we all
just simply say

how much we are able
to spend?

Is this your way
of telling us

you have reached
your limit, Mr. Smith?

'Can I help you, gentlemen?'

Maybe.

I hope you can be
a little more specific.

I'm just about ready to close.
It's been a hard day.

Lots of hassles,
you understand?

Yeah, well, uh,
it'll get worse

before it gets better.

I think I can help you.

Was wonderin' when you guys
were gonna show up.

Something in green,
wasn't it?

- Sounds about right.
- Right this way.

I think you'll be pleased.

You're right,
we're pleased.

Lucas?

I'm standing in front
of what looks like

five million dollars'
worth of fun tickets.

So, the lady and her backers
are legitimate?

- 'Looks that way.'
- Hmm, count the money.

Oh, what of her emissary?

Just about to close up shop.

Well, make sure you tidy up and
get back here with the money.

Yes, sir.
Start counting.

Gentlemen, the waiting is over.

We can proceed.

May I introduce
my latest guest?

Mrs. Fox.

Gentlemen.

What are you trying
to pull, Como?

You know, as host, I can invite
whomever I please

to these little get-togethers.

But this is not Mrs. Fox.

I beg your pardon?

I knew I smelled a set-up.

This is a trick to drive
the bidding up even higher!

'Admit it, Como!'

I see you haven't changed
your act, Mr. Smith.

Still trying to discredit
your competitors?

He tried the same thing
in Sydney

unsuccessfully, I might add.

And I am telling you

that this is not Mrs. Fox.

What he is saying
does tie in

with a rumor I heard
concerning your health.

- Which is?
- Well, that you were dead.

Which might have been true

had one of my sympathizers

not removed these from my back

after I was left for dead.

Few people know that the
guerrilla armies of the Andes

use home-made ammunition

which when fired
from their own weapons

make their bullets
extremely identifiable.

Yes, they contain
large amounts of silver

which is partly the reason
why I decided

to make a bracelet
out of them.

We should all carry reminders

of the very real possibility
of death.

Right, Mrs. Fox?

Right, Mr. Como.

She's working with him.

Don't you understand?

This is a ploy to make us

bid higher for that warhead?

Please, Mr. Smith.

If you're so afraid
of competition

you should try another career.

'Raising petunias, perhaps.'

Don't you understand
we're being tricked?

And I, for one, refuse
to be manipulated like this!

If you are giving
us a choice

between her company..

...and yours, Mr. Smith..

'...I needn't tell you
the outcome.'

Gentlemen,
we'll resume the bidding

as soon as Mrs. Fox's
deposit arrives.

You'll pay for this,
Como. Hmm.

When my countrymen hear
what you've done to me

I guarantee, you will pay!

Mr. Smith!
Shut up.

Let me show you
what you'll be bidding on.

Five million
on the nose.

A pleasure doing
business with you.

Too bad there won't be
a next time.

That's true.
Hold it.

If you'd be so kind..

You've heard the old expression,
"Turnabout is fair play?"

Now you, you're gonna
deliver the money.

And you, you've just become
an insurance policy.

It gets worse
before it gets better.

That's right. Too bad
you're such a slow learner.

Get moving!

Kelly, Manners.

What's this?

It's a day for surprises.

That's what it is.

Take him in the back room.

Manners, call Edwards
in the mobile unit.

If he has a feed, too,
we'll have no trouble

triangulating
the money's position.

Alright, thanks.

According to what Edward
says and what we see here

he's makin' a beeline
for the ocean.

Diana's at the pier.

Beach house? Boat?

It's really rather
pleasant looking, isn't it..

...considering the horror
it contains?

Just waiting
to be unleashed.

You're obviously
a little concerned

about that prospect.

This is my world now.

And I honestly don't care
what happens to yours.

See, one fine day, it's going
to blow itself to bits

with or without my help.

Uh, someone's arrived,
it must be Lucas

with your down payment.

Now, we can get on
with the bidding.

It's not often
one gets the chance

to bid on such an item.

My backers are very anxious

to get their hands on it.

Tell me...how did you..

...come upon this warhead?

It would be
more correct to say

the warhead
came upon me.

Oh, it isn't Lucas after all.

Mrs. Fox, may I introduce..

...Vladimir Zukov?

We have already met.

You IADC agents turn up

in the most unexpected places.

What?

Carl?

I don't know how you

conned your way in here,
Ms. Prince.

But you are to be commended.

And you are to be commended,
Mr. Zukov.

Most double agents
look lousy in business suits.

She's with the government?

Most unfortunately for her, yes.

Kill her.

It's not that simple.
Lucas is on his way back.

And there's a chance,
a good chance

the money he's carrying
is bugged

so her people can find us.

Can't you stop him?

Well, if I can't,
we can outrun him.

Let's move out. Full speed
ahead, maximum depth.

Maybe next time
you'll listen.

One more word and whatever
happens to her, happens to you.

- Yeah?
- Lucas.

There's been
a change of plan.

Get rid of the money
and stay away from the dock.

- Problem?
- Do as I say.

Get rid of the money
and stand by for further word.

And by the way, you might be
followed, so be careful.

Got it.

Diana's in trouble.

And that's the only clue
we've got as to where she is.

Well, that takes care
of one problem.

Now for the other.

Allow me.

Are you sure you want
to do that in here?

She's right, bullets have
a rather annoying tendency

to ricochet in submarines.

Therefore, my dear, if you'll
step this way, please.

Just when we were getting
to know each other.

I know you just about
as well as I want to.

Well, I could say
the same thing about you

except that I'm still curious.

How did you
get the warhead?

Illusion.

The research I undertook

compliments of our government

went into the perfecting
of the art of illusion.

Now, I'm capitalizing on it.

Your research focused
on holography.

So that flying saucer
the pilot saw

was really a hologram

you created with lasers.

The illusion of imminent doom
so frightened the man

that he jettisoned his cargo

right into my lap.

But this, I'm afraid,
is no illusion.

Get in, miss..

Prince, Diana Prince.

- Indeed.
- In there?

Yes.

Goodbye, Diana Prince.

The water pressure outside

will crush her instantly.

Please, please,
please, wait.

For what?

For her to have us all
in prison?

Get rid of her.

Care to do the honors?

Delighted!

There will be no further
interruptions, gentlemen.

I assure you.

Why don't you resume
your bidding?

With pleasure.

What.. What's happening?

Something's in the airlock.

Party's over, boys.

Use this.

Any more toys, Como?

Good, the Coast Guard
must have a pretty good idea

where we are by now,
so we might as well

all head back to Long Beach.

I don't believe it!

Uh, Captain Louie
ought to be arrested

for defrauding
the public as well.

I've never seen
rifle sights

so misadjusted
in my life.

Wh-what did, uh,
the Soviets have to say

about Mr. Zukov?

I doubt they knew
he was working with Como

any more than we did.

What they said about Mr. Zukov
was exactly what they said

about the whole affair,
nothing.

See what I mean
about the sights?

Probably,
all they're interested in

is getting their warhead back.

Oh, they'll get it
back eventually

with a strong reprimand,
I would imagine.

And a warning. You know, that
canister was leaking radiation.

Well, what happened
to the people in the sub?

Oh, they've all been
checked out, they're okay.

Not enough of a dose
to hurt anyone.

What do you say
we get some dinner?

Great!
Your car or mine?

Mine. Pick you up in a minute.

Alright.

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪