Wonder Woman (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 1 - My Teenage Idol Is Missing - full transcript

[indistinct chatter]

He's looking.
He's smiling.

He smiled at me.

Lane, we love you.

The whole world loves you.

He saw me.
He smiled at me.

Did you see that?
He noticed me.

Lane, you're the best!
You're the absolute best!

We love you!
I love you!

(Ripley)
'Come on, Harry.
Don't give me that, huh?'

How many times you sell out
the arena in 24 hours?



That's because
you never promoted

a Lane Kincaid concert before.

Hey, Bill, think we could play
a little tennis?

You know better than that, Lane.

- 'Harry..'
- Yeah.

I've been on the road so long,
I probably forgot

how to keep score anyway.

Now, look,
we talked percentages

five weeks ago.

You didn't think
the kid was big enough then.

'That's your own tough luck.'

Misrepresentation?

Harry, is it my fault
that you don't read the trades?

Well, you should have
asked somebody



who's a little bit
more with it.

[indistinct chatter]

[horn honking]

Oh, here, let me
help you with that.

No problem, I was going
in there anyway.

Hey, easy with that.

He's not a piece
of furniture, you know.

That kid in there
is worth two million bucks.

[toy rattling]

[intense music]

[music continues]

[doorbell ringing]

We expecting somebody?

Alright, hold it.

- Lane, lock the door!
- Sit down.

[intense music]

- What are you doing?
- Time to go for a little ride.

Come on.

Where are you taking me?

To your just reward.

(male #1)
'Let's go.'

[theme song]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪

[explosion]

[instrumental music]

(Springfield)
Can't tell you
how grateful I am.

It's impossible.

Well, the IADC is grateful
too, Mr. Springfield.

Without your cooperation,
we could never have stopped

that attempted sabotage.
Thank you.

Uh, would then all dealings
between government

and big business
have such happy endings?

Daddy, you haven't
done anything.

You promised me you would.

The least you could do
is drop your name

and make the police
do something.

This is my daughter, Whitney.

Uh, Whitney, Diana Prince.

- Hi, Whitney.
- Hi. The government agent?

- I never told you that.
- I pick things up.

Aside from forgetting
her manners

and having very big ears

'Whitney is quite convinced'

'that some young singing star--'

Lane Kincaid.

One of her latest in a series

of desperate heartthrobs.

For some reason,
she thinks he's been abducted.

He has. I saw them do it.

Daddy, they're gonna kill him
and it will be your fault.

Uh, Whitney, Ms. Prince
has a plane to catch

and neither she
nor I nor anyone else

has any time for your nonsense.

Daddy, it's not nonsense.

Uh, I wish I could stay,
Whitney

but I do have to pack.

Say goodbye
to Ms. Prince, Whitney.

- Goodbye, Whitney.
- Goodbye.

I want to tell you again that
I'm very grateful for everything

you did, and anytime that
there's anything that we can--

(Diana)
'Well, thank you,
Mr. Springfield, that's..'

[door closes]

[dramatic music]

- Stop pushing me.
- Who's pushing you?

- Let's go.
- I'm not exactly sleepwalking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[piano music]

[music stops]

So this is Mr. Lane Kincaid

whom millions of young persons

admire and adore.

What a pleasure.

I wish I could say the same,
but I can't.

Well, that's quite alright

after all
you have been kidnapped.

Your life is in my hands.

In other words

you'd better keep me alive

well and happy.

Because if you don't

you don't get a cent, correct?

And right now..

...I feel like having

a large steak.

Medium rare will be fine.

Shall we accommodate
the young man, Mr. Morley?

Yes, sir.

Mr. Kincaid.

Don't you ever

sit down in my presence

without being asked.

Sorry.

It was an accident.

- Hi, Ms. Prince.
- Hi.

Whitney. Whitney Springfield.

- 'We just met.'
- Yes, I know.

I found out
from my dad's secretary

where you were staying.

- You were looking for me?
- Yes, I was.

- May I call you Diana?
- Sure.

The Brownfield Towers
on Rodeo Drive.

No, LAX.

I, uh, I have to get
to the airport, Whitney

not Beverly Hills.

Uh, you heard
what I said, cabby.

Remember what I told you before?

Rodeo Drive it is.

[engine starts]

[chuckles]

I told him I'll tip 30%,
which I do.

Whitney.

Please, Diana,
you've got to help me.

Lane's been kidnapped.
He really has.

Now, there's no way
somebody that famous

could be kidnapped without
anybody knowing about it.

I snuck up there
to get his autograph

and I saw a man
with a mask and a gun

make Lane leave with him.

If he was kidnapped

even the police couldn't
keep it quiet, Whitney.

Maybe they don't know about it.

Please, Diana,
find out for sure.

You're a spy.
You can find out anything.

Please, I can pay
for any trouble I cause you.

I get a heck of an allowance.

I know. You tip 30%.

How much?

(Crichton)
'You heard correctly,
Mr. Ripley.'

Two million dollars.

I won't pay it.

With a Lane Kincaid Concert

worth one million coming up

and five gold records
last year alone

you'll pay, Mr. Ripley.

You'll pay.

[indistinct chatter]

He's in the penthouse
on the top floor.

He's blond, good-looking

kind of longish hair,
good-looking--

Yeah, I know what he looks like,
Whitney.

Make them let you see him.

Uh, tell them
you're with the government.

No, that might scare 'em.

'Tell 'em you're a writer.'

Why don't you leave that
to me, okay?

And meet me back at the hotel?

- Okay, right.
- Okay, right.

- Diana?
- Yes.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Be careful.

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music]

[thunderclap]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[breathing heavily]

Two million bucks.

Yeah, hello, let me talk
to the bank manager, please.

Mr. Overton?
Yeah, this is Ash Ripley.

[instrumental music]

(Whitney)
I saw a man
with a mask and a gun

make Lane leave with him.

I just saw him, Whitney.

- Who?
- Lane.

He was in his room
as big as life

'as plain as day.'

You couldn't have.

I saw them take him away
at gunpoint.

Do you think I made it up?

No. I think you saw something.

You probably just misunderstood.

I didn't misunderstand.

I know what a mask is for,
and I know what a gun is for.

- I'm not a baby.
- I didn't mean that, Whitney.

If you don't believe me,
just say so.

I'm sorry.

No, just forget it.
I'm sorry.

Just forget
about the whole thing.

Look, your bags
are right there.

The room is paid for.
Just go back to Washington.

You know, on the news

they said that Lane had been
rehearsing

all day for his concert.

'Why do you think
they'd lie like that?'

And why would Lane
be in his room

'when logically
he would be rehearsing?'

Okay.

It sounds suspicious
enough to me

to do just a little bit

more checking, okay?

Okay.

You know, you guys
could have at least

let me and my brother
have some time to talk.

It's been ten years, you know.

But then I guess that doesn't
matter to you creeps, right?

- King me.
- Ugh..

Look, it wasn't
Mr. Crichton's intention

to arrange a family reunion.

He dug up your brother so
he could switch places with you.

'Now nobody knows, nobody
but your manager knows the real'

Lane Kincaid's been kidnapped.
You got that?

That's very smart.
Very smart.

I guess your Mr. Crockton
must think he's hot stuff.

That's Crichton.

Crichton.

- Crichton.
- Ah!

You're darn right
he's hot stuff.

If I told you
the people in high places

and I mean, really high places

'he's kidnapped without
anybody catching on him'

it'd blow your socks off.

Of course, not all of them
were obliging enough

to have a bona fide twin
waiting in the wings like you.

Yeah, well, Morley,
you know what?

What?

'Right now, I'd love'

to have a BLT

and white with extra mayo

lettuce

corn chips.

Um, and a root beer

'seeing the game's over anyway.'

[sighs]
Okay, you got it. Argh!

You gotta be kiddin'.

Didn't I tell you
to keep the curtains closed?

- I'm sorry.
- Now, you.

You've got
an interview in a half hour.

You're kidding.

No, some creep
from "The Tribune"

didn't buy our rehearsal story.

Now, listen, not one word

about what's happened
'cause the same guys

who brought you in in that
furniture box, they could just

as easily take you out in
a coffin. You understand that?

But they promised me
that if I did as they said

they wouldn't hurt me or Melvin.

Now, look, as long as
I'm stuck with you

you'd better start acting
like Lane Kincaid.

You'd better..

- Melvin? Who's Melvin?
- Lane, sir.

His real name's Melvin.
Mine's Michael.

I don't care if your names
are Punch and Judy

and you were separated
at the age of nine

when the Alaskan pipeline blew

and washed away your igloo.

At the age of five, sir

when our foster parents--

I don't care.

From now on,
you're Lane Kincaid.

Don't forget that.

- Yes, sir.
- Good.

[intercom buzzing]

- Trevor.
- 'Steve?'

Oh, Diana.
You at the airport?

Uh, no, Steve,
I'm still in Los Angeles.

I thought that Springfield thing
was all wrapped up.

Well, it is. Listen, um,
I'll tell you about it later.

Right now,
I need some information.

Need information, huh?
What kind?

Human type or computer type?

Well, I think a little of both.

Oh, well, in that case, hang on.

I got a surprise for you.

'Surprise?'

[beeping]

[whirring]

Steve?

(IRA)
'Try again.'

- IRA?
- 'Affirmative.'

Yeah, the patch cable
between IRA

and the phone company
was completed yesterday.

(IRA)
'You are the first to benefit
from its installation.'

Well, imagine my delight.

What can we do for you, kiddo?

Okay, fellas.
The subject is kidnapping.

Uh, only the victim
isn't missing.

One Lane Kincaid.

He seems to have been replaced
by someone else.

'Any ideas?'

[whirring]

[beeping]

(IRA)
The name Raleigh Crichton
is associated

with a dozen rumored kidnappings

in which the victim
was replaced by a double.

(Steve)
'Oh, yeah. He and I have
crossed paths before.'

'Crichton supposedly arranges it
so that only those closest'

to the victim know
there's even been a kidnapping.

That way it makes it easier
for them to pay the ransom

without contacting the police
or the FBI.

'Rumor has it he's been
very successful.'

Well, he certainly, uh, found
a perfect double for Lane.

(IRA)
Because the Lane Kincaid
concert is tomorrow night

it is logical
that the ransom will be paid

and the victim will be returned
before then.

His manager will probably
make the drop.

I'll keep an eye on him.

Thank you, fellas.

Keep in touch, Diana Prince.

Now that I've got your number,
IRA, you bet.

[chuckles]
Bye.

[dramatic music]

[engine starts]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Mr. Ripley.

Uh, I know that
Lane has been kidnapped.

- I'm here to help.
- Mind your own business, lady.

That's how you can help.

- Who are you?
- That doesn't really matter.

Listen, you can't let them
get away with this.

Yeah, what I can't do is blow
a concert worth a million bucks.

And you're not gonna make me.
You see this?

Now from now on,
it's gonna be in my pocket.

But it's gonna be aimed
right at you.

Now, you, uh, just move ahead
towards that shack, okay?

Slowly.

'Move it.'

Move it!

(Ripley)
Go ahead, come on.
Alright, now stop here.

Something doesn't smell right.

Get in, nice and easy.

- I'm trying to tell you--
- Come on, get in there.

- Quiet.
- Oh!

(Diana)
'You're making a mistake.'

Be quiet!

He got rid of the girl

but I don't like it.

(male #2)
'Then neither will Crichton.'

'Abort.'

[thunderclap]

(male #3)
'Forget it, Mr. Ripley,
the deal's off.'

No!

No, no. Wait a minute! I..

I followed all the instructions
to the letter.

It's okay.

[instrumental music]

[creaking]

Get in!

[tires screeching]

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Phew!

(male #3)
'Floor it.'

Help! Help!

'Over here! Over here!'

'They're trying to kill me!'

[music continues]

Sorry, Wonder Woman.

You were interfering
in my business.

Now, look, uh, you know
this is no concern of yours

or anybody else's, so don't
bother with that, huh?

I mean, because, uh,
I'm gonna tell you the truth.

Because those phone calls
from the kidnappers

they were, uh, either long
distance or, uh, ship-to-shore

'you know, and I mean, I don't
even know who they were.'

And, uh, when you take that off,
well, I'm only just gonna deny

there was a kidnapping.

'So there's no point, right?'

After all we've done

to make it easy
for him to pay the ransom

that fool involved Wonder Woman.

Well, boss,
we don't know for sure.

I mean, Ripley
was just as surprised

as we were when she showed.

Well, I suppose it's only fair

to hear both sides
of the story

before taking final action.

Look, I had nothing to do
with Wonder Woman's being there.

There-there's been no
double-cross, believe me.

Now as far as she, the police,
or anybody else is concerned

'there-there hasn't
even been a kidnapping.'

Alright, l-look, uh

let's arrange
another drop, alright?

Um, I'll bring the two million

anytime, anyplace.

Just, uh,
just make it soon, huh?

'So Lane can be fresh
for the concert.'

Lane is not gonna be
in the concert.

- It looks like Michael is.
- What?

'It's about time
you learn a lesson'

about carelessness, Mr. Ripley.

I'll be in touch

after tomorrow night.

Uh, wait, wait, uh..

Without Lane,
I'm gonna be ruined.

'You-you're gonna end up
with nothin'.'

[dial tone]

But if you know he's been
kidnapped

and replaced by his twin--

You see, his manager
refuses to report it.

Now if we go and make
a big fuss about it

well, we might be putting Lane
in even more danger.

He's in danger, alright.

I thought the men who took him
were gonna kill him.

Why do you say that?

Something the guy
in the mask said.

How come they haven't canceled
tonight's concert?

That is a very good question.

I don't suppose
you have an extra ticket?

Yeah, I do, my housekeeper
was gonna take me

but will you go with me?

- I'd love to.
- Great.

Now maybe we'll find out
what's going on.

I gotta do something.

I got it, lip-sync.

He can lip-sync the songs.

You know what lip-sync is?

- Yes, sir.
- Good.

Great. Alright.

Now you just fake it, right,
you move your lips

to the records, you know all
Lane's songs, don't you?

'Every red-blooded
American kid does.'

No, sir, my foster parents
never let me listen to radio.

Your foster parents?

Your loving foster parents
haven't even

reported you missing yet!

Hey, hey, cool it.

Now, I am the only person here
who cares about you.

I am the only one
who can help you now.

The only one.

I want you
to get on that stage tonight.

'I want you to perform
and I want you'

'to be Lane Kincaid!'

[sighs]

Hey, hey. Come on now.

I'm sorry.

Come here.

Listen, can't you do something?

I can play a little guitar.
A little bit of singing.

Yeah? Get a guitar. Terrific.

Alright, look.

I'm gonna, uh,
get you some records.

You're gonna memorize the songs
that I tell you

and you're gonna practice
your little heart out

on the guitar, alright?

- Yes, sir.
- Great.

[indistinct chatter]

Alright, now, uh,
you feel alright, huh?

Now don't be nervous
when you get out there.

And just remember,
everything lip-sync, okay?

Alright. Alright.
Wait a second. Hold on.

Alright.
Alright, you look great.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

[breathing heavily]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental music]

He looks just like him.

Do you suppose we're wrong?

Do you suppose
that's Lane after all?

We'll know as soon as
he starts to sing.

♪ You've got me rolling
like a wheel on the road ♪

♪ Turning round and round
nowhere to go ♪

♪ I've got to find out
if you're feeling it too ♪

♪ It's hard to tell
so here's what I do ♪

He's faking it.

I guess we know now why
they didn't cancel the concert.

And these kids don't blow
a month's allowance

just to see someone
move his lips.

Even if he does look
just like Lane.

♪ All all all night long.. ♪♪

[crowd booing]

- You pulling out?
- You better believe it.

Me and the advance money
are moving to higher ground.

Hey, give him a chance.
Hear him out.

Listen, the only voice
I wanna hear right now

is an airline pilot
welcoming me to Chicago.

Look, I'll wire you the money
that I owe you when I get there.

Hey, listen, you oughta
at least hear him long enough.

Hey, hey, don't use up
all your strength, you know.

You're gonna need it
for your new buddy

when the people
out there kill him.

[mouthing]

[crowd booing]

This audience isn't gonna put up

with the canned music
any longer.

If I was him,
I'd start running now.

- 'Get off the stage!'
- Stop the tape, please.

[indistinct chatter]

Um...no more tapes.

Uh..

I guess it's, uh,
time for real music.

Uh, this, this is
my kind of stuff.

[instrumental music]

♪ Do-do-do do-do ♪

♪ Do-do-do do-do ♪

♪ Do-do-do ♪

♪ Do-do-do do-do ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ I think of sunny days in June
warm nights in tune ♪

♪ With the song in your heart ♪

♪ When I think of you.. ♪

[audience cheering]

[indistinct singing]

His music is different,
but it's good.

It's really good.

Which could be bad for Lane.

Really bad.

♪ But there's nothing to do
but wait for the summer ♪

♪ Wait for the summer ♪

♪ And you.. ♪

- He's as good as Lane.
- I tried to tell you.

[laughs]
He's as good as Lane.

- He's what?
- Yes, sir.

And then he started
doing his own stuff

and it's not bad, Mr. Crichton.

Give a listen.

[indistinct singing]

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ I think of running
on the beach ♪

♪ Castles in the heat ♪

♪ And the sand on our feet.. ♪♪

[cheering]

Very well, Mr. Sampson.

Meet Mr. Ludwig

as arranged.

'I have some thinking to do.'

What's going on?

Lane Kincaid
is at this very moment

giving the finest performance
of his career.

What?

Lane's twin brother

apparently is just as talented

as Lane himself.

Well, let's hear it for Michael.

I guess he fixed your wagon,
huh, Crockton?

I'd worry about your wagon

if I were you, Mr. Kincaid.

For you suddenly have become
about as useful to us

as a dead duck.

[dramatic music]

What's the matter with him, huh?
Why doesn't he call?

What's he waiting for?

He must have heard
our kid went over big.

Yeah, sure, he went over big,
but he's not Lane.

It will take years
to get him to that place.

I want Lane back.

I want Lane and Michael.

There's nothing wrong with that,
huh? I mean, I'm gonna pay.

Maybe the kidnapper figures
you got nothing to lose now.

Maybe he thinks
you'll try a double-cross

if he tries to return Lane.

Oh, come on,
he's got to return Lane.

What else is he gonna
do with him?

No.

He wouldn't.

[instrumental music]

Ah..

I'm afraid
no brilliant alternative

occurred to me
during the night.

The boy is just

too great a liability.

Alert Sampson and Ludwig.

We'll dispose of him
at the yard.

Yes, sir.

Look, sergeant, I want to
speak to your superior.

Hello? Hello?

[sighs]

Cops wouldn't believe you?

Are you kidding?
After that concert last night?

What have I done?

There's got to be somebody
that can help us.

Wait a minute.

There was this lady
at the junkyard.

She knew about the kidnapping.

But I don't know
where to find her.

I don't even know who she is.

Whitney,
retrace your steps, okay?

You've got to remember
what that man said

when he kidnapped Lane.

I'm trying.

Think. Okay,
he must have said something.

Something that made you think
they were gonna kill him.

Lane said something like,
"Where're we going?"

And the man said
something like..

"To get what you deserve.

'"To'

'"to get your reward'

your just reward."

That's it. He said, "I'm taking
you to your just reward."

That's what made me think
they were gonna kill him.

But if they weren't
gonna kill him

why would they say that?

They must be talking about
where they're holding him.

They took him where?

His manager said

that the phone calls sounded
long distance

ship-to-shore.

"Your just reward."

Operator,
this is an emergency.

- Get me the coast guard.
- The name of a boat.

Maybe. Just maybe.

Let's go, kid.
Your singing days are over.

'In fact, it looks like
all your days are over.'

Didn't Crichton speak to Ash?

It's too risky.
What can I say?

'In our business,
these things happen.'

Come on.

Let's go.

Come on.

Thank you, captain.

Good.

I'll be waiting.

What'd they say?

There is a boat
out of Marina del Rey

called Your Just Reward,
and the coast guard

is trying to locate it.

Do you think
they've killed Lane yet?

Well, from what my boss
in Washington

has told me
about the kidnappers

if they haven't killed him yet

it's only because, uh,
Crichton hasn't figured out

the tidiest possible way
to do it.

[helicopter whirring]

(man on radio)
'Skyview three to Central.'

'They are now in a gray sedan.'

'License number 2-4-7-P-C-E.'

[telephone ringing]

Yes.

That's right.

What have you got?

Well, do you know
where they're heading?

Okay, well,
please keep me posted.

Thank you.

What's happening?

They've got Lane in a car
headed away from the ocean.

- And the police are after them.
- Well, let's get going.

We're not doing any good here.
Maybe there'll be a--

You are going home, young lady.

No, Diana, no.

Listen, Whitney.

Whatever does finally happen

I don't want you involved.

Diana, please.

- Whitney.
- Alright, I'll go.

But you'd better promise
to call and keep me posted.

I promise. Now go.

[intense music]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]

Mr. Ludwig should be ready
by now, don't you think?

We'll soon find out.

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]

[music continues]

Ludwig will lose them
in no time.

Good, then let's take care

of our immediate problem

so we can join them
at the airport.

What do you mean you lost them?

Well, have you any idea
where they're headed?

Thanks anyway, lieutenant.

Junkyard.

[instrumental music]

[tires screeching]

[engine sputtering]

[sighs]

- 'Oh, no.'
- Whitney!

It won't even turn over.

You should always take a taxi

when you have
to get somewhere, Diana.

'What are we gonna do now?'

You are going to listen
to me, young lady

and do no less
than what I tell you.

Now, I want you to go over
to that store, call the police.

'Tell them to get out
to the junkyard'

at Washington
and 89th immediately.

And then you stay put.

- 'Promise.'
- What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna call your father
unless you promise.

Okay.

Go.

[intense music]

[thunderclap]

[thunderclap]

[instrumental music]

[engine reviving]

Let me show you something.

[machine whirring]

[engine revving]

[scoffs]

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

So how do you like
your new manager so far?

He's good,
but I miss Ash, you know?

But he couldn't handle
the kidnapping thing too well.

Well, the police and the FBI
weren't too thrilled

with his behavior either.

There you go.

Well, I don't know about you,
but this girl saved my life.

She deserves more
than an autograph.

And if it weren't for her,
we'd never be together again.

(male #4)
'Hey, Lane, Michael, let's go.'

Well, it was good seeing
you again, Diana. So long.

Thank you very much
for all your help.

And it was nice meeting you,
Ms. Prince.

Okay. Break a leg, guys.

[crowd cheering]

I may as well die now, Diana.

What?

I have nothing
left to live for.

[instrumental music]

[chuckles]

Well, uh, how about
a hot fudge sundae

after the show?

With peanuts?

- The works.
- You're on.

♪ You've got me rolling
like a wheel on a road ♪

♪ Turning round and round
nowhere to go ♪

♪ I got to find out
if you're feeling it too ♪

♪ It's hard to tell ♪

♪ So here's what I do ♪

♪ And every time I want more ♪

♪ I take you out on the floor ♪

♪ I was made for dancing ♪

♪ All all all all night long ♪

♪ Yes I was made for dancing ♪

♪ All all all all night long ♪

♪ The days and nights
are moving by me and you ♪

♪ It's such a crazy love
you tear me in two ♪

♪ I spend my time
moving to dreams and a phase ♪

♪ It's a crazy love ♪

♪ You can see it in my face ♪

♪ And every time
I want more.. ♪♪

[theme song]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪