Wonder Woman (1975–1979): Season 3, Episode 2 - Hot Wheels - full transcript

[airplane droning]

[seagulls squawking]

It's here.
They're unloading the rolls.

- Ms. Prince?
- Yes.

You're right on time.

One custom 1935 Rolls Landaulet

with platinum hood ornament
comin' right up.

Thank you very much, sir.

Oh, it's always a pleasure

to accommodate the IADC.

Alright, fellows,
let's get the doors open, huh?



So, uh, what do we got
goin' on here?

Some kind of, uh,
spy caper or something?

[coughs]

[cocks gun]

[whirring]

Well, that's a Rolls, alright.

But ain't it kind of small?

[laughing]

[laughing]

Hey, stop that car!

[seagulls squawking]

[engine revving]

[theme song]

[thunderclap]



♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

[music continues]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

[music continues]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪

[explosion]

[instrumental music]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

[thunderclap]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

(Wonder Woman)
'Raise it higher!'

[crane whirring]

[music continues]

(Wonder Woman)
'Move it to the left.'

[crane whirring]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[tires screech]

Hey, Wonder Woman!

What is happenin', sister?

What's in the back?

I don't know, ma'am.
I guess it was a mix-up.

Someone must have goofed
and sent down

two trucks to the same place.

I don't know nothin'
about a stolen car.

Did you get a good look
at the other driver?

No, ma'am.

He was so teed off
about the mix-up

he refused
to get out of the cab.

'At least that's what
it looked like.'

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[engine revving]

(Bolt)
'Nobody told me that the IADC'

'and two females
were gonna interfere.'

Interfere?

Would you settle for meddle?

For your information,
Inspector Bolt

Wonder Woman and I were trying
to retrieve an--

For your information,
Agent Prince

I was there on a tip
that could have busted

the biggest car-theft ring
since original sin.

I was gonna tail
that Rolls-Royce

to its original source.

And I suppose you think

your car thieves
are more important

than national security.

- 'My car thieves?'
- Alright, alright.

Enough squabbling,
for crying out loud.

[exhales]

Now, Bolt, you want the man

behind the car theft ring.

- 'Right?'
- Right.

Diana, you and I
want the hood ornament

off the antique Rolls.

Now, it's been decided

and agreed upon
that the two of you

will be working together.

Okay. Okay!

Maybe I was off base.

I take it all back,
except..

...the female part.

You are most definitely female.

Since birth.

Good.

Now that we have our
genders straight

what can you tell us about
this car-theft organization?

Hello?

Oh. Uh, sorry.

Well, I've been after these guys
for quite some time now

and I've yet to get a specific
line on their operations.

Now, I know them,
they got to have

a headquarters somewhere,
right?

'Some kind of drop
for all these hot cars.'

Some place
where they can remove

the serial numbers,
change the paint jobs.

You have no idea
where this drop is?

No! They always manage
to just slip away from me.

Like today.
But this time I know the buyer.

'An ophthalmologist.
Dr. Samson.'

They seem to concentrate
primarily on classic cars?

Classics, antiques,
refurbished old sports jobs.

Do you know that there
is a billion-dollar business

just on stolen parts alone?

'Samson will pay
over 100,000 for that Rolls'

'and even more if they could get
him a Duesenberg instead.'

[sighs]
And the man behind this ring?

[clicks tongue]
Another big question mark.

Unless, of course, you subscribe
to the theory that all crimes

fit the personality
of the perpetrator.

'In which case, our man'

number one, is a gambler,
a businessman..

Efficient, well organized..

And someone in touch..

...with big money.

(male #1)
'Sam, what are you doin' to me?'

'Sell short. Yes, short.'

[telephone ringing]

Yeah? Hold on.

And buy the June Bellies
ten minutes before the bell.

Go ahead, I'm listening.

For 40 acres? Bye.

[telephone ringing]

Alright.

Brazil? Unh-unh.

Arbitrate and call back.

I'm wonderin', maybe, uh..

Maybe we could
get ahold of the Duesenberg?

We can give it a try.

Sounds like
you have a plan, inspector.

Best plan since
Hannibal crossed the Alps.

- Brilliant?
- But risky.

[birds chirping]

Uh, just one second.

There you go, doc.
Over this way.

This is the man.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting,
Dr. Samson.

Been one of those days.

I'm afraid you have me
at a disadvantage, mister, uh..

As intended, sir, my identity
remains a mystery to my clients

and all but a few
of my closest associates.

As intended.

You are prepared
to fill my order

the 1935 Landaulet?

For $100,000 in Swiss francs

drawable on a Swiss account,
yes.

Make it 75.

Split the difference

and allow me to keep this.

[instrumental music]

A sentimental addition
to my collection.

Done. Why quibble?

There must be hundreds
of ladies like her.

(Steve)
'It looks like this one,
but the lady we're after'

'is very much one of a kind'

'and more important
to Uncle Sam'

'than the cars
are to the police.'

'Please remember
that, inspector'

in case your plan works.

You can have your lady,
colonel.

All I want is the man.

- You ready, partner?
- Yes.

Ah, now, just a minute.

Neither of you
are quite ready yet.

Diana,
I have a lovely brooch for you.

It's a tiny microphone.
Pick up every word you say.

I guess I'll have
to watch my language.

[laughs]
I certainly hope so.

This is for you, inspector.

A ballpoint tape recorder.

Clever. And that?

And don't forget your camera.

(Steve)
And remember, inspector,
you're Arnie Lippincott

'small-time thief
with big ideas.'

Excellent.

How are your eyes?

Ah, it's funny
you should mention it.

(Diana)
'They've been
bothering me lately.'

'"L-P-E-D."'

Now what do you see?

I see
a 1935 Rolls-Royce Landaulet.

I beg your pardon?

No, wait, it's..

...an SJ type Duesenberg.

A Duesenberg that
a certain ophthalmologist

has been looking for.

I'm afraid I don't know
what you're talking about.

Dr. Samson..

...I know that
you've been putting out

feelers for,
um, 1934 SJ type Duesy

'with dual windshields,
front and rear.'

Dual side mounts.

Body by Rolleston.

Powered by the original..

...supercharged straight eight.

You, uh, can get one for me?

Mm-hmm.

You never really wanted
that Rolls-Royce, did you?

Not if I can get
a '34 SJ type Duesy.

[Samson chuckles]

[telephone ringing]

(male #1)
'Yes?'

Samson didn't show up
to pick up the Rolls.

- Could be cold feet.
- It could be competition.

Yes, could be.

Do you know what to do
in that eventuality?

Yeah, I know what to do.

Sure do.

[engine revving]

Hi.

[sighs]
Dr. Samson, Arnie Lippincott.

Shall we?

[instrumental music]

[Samson chuckles]
Let me drive her.

No driving.
Not until the trade is made.

Tomorrow.
I'll have it for you tomorrow.

Then it's settled?

We trade
straight across this Duesy..

...for the Rolls.

Any day.

(Bolt)
'Then the lady will be happy'

'to take you for a drive.'

[instrumental music]

There isn't gonna be any trade.

[music continues]

Brilliant.

But risky.

[music continues]

You had an appointment
with a Rolls.

Remember, doctor?

But I gave him
better merchandise

at a better price.

Uh-huh. Well, the trade's off.

And I'm takin'
the Duesy to boot

'just for wastin' my time.'

Oh, no!

[tires screeching]

Go for 'em, baby!

[instrumental music]

[tires screeching]

[gun firing]

[grunts]

[music continues]

[grunts]

[groans]

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

It's okay, Alfie.

You're a thinker,
not a fighter.

A thinker? Ha!

If brains were rain,
he couldn't make a drop.

Let's go, wise guy,
you're not out of the woods yet.

[engine rumbling]

Steve,
I take it you, uh, heard

what just went on back there?

'We didn't get the Rolls'

'but they
did take Bolt with them'

'just like you figured.'

So..

..I'm going to take Dr. Samson

down to the police station
for a little chat

with our friend,
Lieutenant Klein

and then I'll be in.

[engine revving]

[munching]

Sounds like you're
puttin' on weight, Alfie.

You know, Lippincott..

...you'd look like
what's on my plate..

...if I had my way.

Aw, don't tell me

you've gone
and lost your way now.

First, a Duesenberg,
then a fight and now your way.

[chuckles]
You better watch out, Alfie.

Next thing you know,
it'll be your job.

[cocks gun]

You know that sound?

Yeah, I know that sound.

If you don't wanna
hear the one that follows..

...lay off of me.

[doorbell buzzing]

Your credentials have been
checked, Mr. Lippincott.

- You passed inspection.
- Naturally.

So what do you want
from me now?

Not much, actually.

Simply instruct
your female associate

to deliver that Duesenberg
into my hands.

Your hands? My foot!
That's my Duesenberg.

You keep your greasy
meat hooks off it

whatever your name is.

(male #1)
'My impetuous friend..'

...that Duesenberg
is worth $200,000.

I know.

Well, don't think for a moment

you won't die
if I don't get it.

You can't mess
with Arnie Lippincott.

My boys would be all over you
like green on grass.

How colorful.

But we both know your little
midnight auto supply

is a one-man operation.

No.
With this chick, it makes two.

And she's not gonna miss you.

Okay.

Okay, I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do.

I am gonna make you a deal.

(male #1)
You are going to make me a deal?

Right.

Excuse me.
This happens all the time.

I got it.

(male #1)
Is this, by any chance,
part of your deal?

A Packard insignia. So what?

So, I just happened
to have a line on a '37 Packard

12-cylinder Roadster coupe.

And?

And it's yours, if you

uh, two guys will let me
out of here alive

and in one piece.

Not particularly interested,
Mr. Lippincott.

[exhales]

But by some strange coincidence

I do have a buyer

for a 1929 Mercedes Phaeton.

Totally restored and original.

Well, if anybody
in this world can find one

it's, uh, Arnie Lippincott.

He's full of it.

Why don't you let me waste him,
huh?

By this weekend,
Arnie Lippincott?

For 20 percent,
whatever your name is.

[chuckling]

A capitalist after my own heart.

- Twenty percent it is.
- Done.

And my insignia?

- Of course.
- Thank you.

(Alfie)
'I wouldn't give him
20 percent of nothin'.'

I'd make him a 100 percent dead.

If he can do as he says

'I can use him
in the organization, Alfie.'

After all, you haven't
come across with much recently.

(male #1)
However..

...until he passes
this little test

'he's still
on the expendable list.'

You better get a 100 percent
on this test, kid.

Alfie, don't you think
it's about time

we took this blindfold off?

It-it might look a little
less conspicuous.

Yeah, go ahead and take it off.

Alright.

[exhales]

- You look better with it on.
- You're cute.

[engine revving]

- Uh-oh.
- What's the matter?

[engine revving]

I forgot to tell you

this car is hot.

Terrific.

Don't worry.

Nobody catches Alfie.

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]

[tires screeching]

[siren wailing]

[tires screeching]

- Put up the windows!
- Are you out of your mind?

(Alfie)
'Put 'em up!'

[whirring]

- 'Get out!'
- 'Get lost!'

(Alfie)
'It's either get wet
or I'll put a bullet'

'right through that
fancy shirt of yours.'

(Bolt)
'Well, since
you put it that way.'

[coughing]

Come on!

- What about the car?
- Let 'em have it!

- You are out of your mind!
- Let them have it!

[grunts]

- It's cops.
- Just act natural.

Well, that's easy
for you to say.

You're used to being all wet.

I'm goin' home
to get some dry clothes.

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

Hello.

Wh.. What hit you?
A tidal wave?

Would you believe a car wash?

Well, it looks like
you went through without a car.

- I did.
- Why?

Because it was hot.

[chuckles]
The car wash?

No. The car.

- Right.
- Right.

- Did you get the photographs?
- Ah, yes, yes.

Got some pictures.

(Bolt)
Just open your palm. There.

And do we have a tape recording?

That's in this pocket.

(Bolt)
Just lift that cylinder off.

There you are.

Did you, by chance,
get any fingerprints?

Even got those.

Now, they may be a bit damp

but with the waterproof
protective coating

there shouldn't be
too many smudges.

(Diana)
'Great. Pretty soon,
we will know who your man is.'

And, with any good fortune

we will also have your lady
for you.

Who could ask for more?

- Just one thing.
- What?

The car that is described
on that tape recording.

Yeah?

(Diana)
'Well, we'll work on it.'

I think
maybe it would be a good idea

if you went down
by yourself first.

(Bolt)
'I got a shadow lurking
around here somewhere'

'and it wouldn't be a good idea
for him to see us together.'

Your shadow is here, cop.

Alfie's gonna wanna
talk to you real bad.

Let's go.

Slow.

[instrumental music]

[grunts]

[music continues]

[grunts]

[Bolt screams]
'Help'

[screams]

(Bolt)
Help!

Where you going?

(Bolt)
'Somebody help!'

Help. Help!

Somebody help!

[dramatic music]

Help!

Somebody help!

(Bolt)
'Somebody help!'

[music continues]

(Bolt)
Help!

Help!

[music continues]

(Bolt)
Help!

[screaming]

[exhales]

Interfering females?

Look after him, will you?

[grunting]

You're the wizard who gives
flying lessons without a plane?

Under the spell of my lasso,
you have to tell the truth.

Who are you?

Who's your boss?
Who are you working for?

Alfie is my boss.

He owns a car wash.

What does this Alfie
do with stolen cars?

I don't know nothin'
about stolen cars.

I'm just a cashier.

When I release you,
you will forget

everything that's happened here.

(Alfie)
You blew it!

Hey, I couldn't help.
But he gave me the slip.

Hey, I'm-I'm,
I'm just a cashier, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where you've been all this time?

I don't know.

Never mind. His car is here.

He'll be back.

Slim..

...you got that thing
ready for him?

Yeah, yeah,
it's gonna be ready.

I don't think Lippincott's gonna
cut into my territory anymore.

[dramatic music]

(male #1 on tape recorder)
'But by some
strange coincidence'

'I do have a buyer'

'for a 1929 Mercedes Phaeton.'

'Totally restored and original.'

(Ira)
'The IRAC Computer
has analyzed the fingerprints.'

Have you got an ID yet, Ira?

- Patience, Steve Trevor.
- "Patience, Steve Trevor."

[beeping]

[whirring]

How's it comin'?

When do you want it to go off?

[imitating Slim]
When Lippincott's in the car.

I know that, Alfie.

(Slim)
'This is
a heat-activating timer.'

'It's used by all
the big-time hitmen.'

They say the temperature
in the engine

runs at 180 degrees
for ten minutes..

...then, blooey!

Ten minutes sounds good..

...as long as it goes blooey.

[laughs]
Don't worry about blooey.

(Ira)
Suspect is Fiskle Otis B.

Businessman, investor,
speculator, swindler.

He has amassed
two separate fortunes

with illegal schemes
and subsequently lost them

in legitimate enterprises.

Sounds like he's working
on his third fortune

in stolen cars.
Where can we find him?

(Ira)
Also convicted
of swindling pension money

from retired citizens
in nursing homes.

Real nice guy,
but where is he?

(Ira)
'His record
is increasingly despicable.'

Ira, why do I get
the impression you're stalling?

- Who, me?
- Yes, you.

Now, where is Otis Fiskle?

(Ira)
He always hides his operation
in unexpected places.

Look, if you don't know where he
is, why don't you just admit it?

(Ira)
The IRAC Computer
is unaccustomed

to admitting failure.

Oh. Well, you still have
a chance to redeem yourself.

Have you located
the 1929 Phaeton

'described on the tape?'

- Affirmative.
- There. You see?

You're still good for something.

[chuckles]
Alright, let me have it.

The sooner Inspector Bolt
gets that car for Fiskle

the sooner he can get
that hood ornament for us.

[clears throat]

- Uh, just admirin' your wheels.
- Uh-huh.

What are you doin', Alfie?
Lookin' for a new job?

By the way, uh..

...what happened
to that shadow of yours?

You lose him too?

You're real cute, Lippincott.

Where's the M Sedan
you promised me?

Oh..

- You mean, you got it?
- Of course.

- Well, where is it?
- I'm gonna tell you?

You don't think
you're gonna swipe that car

so you can get in good
with the man?

Just doin'
what the man tells me.

No matter. The car is mine.

Says who?

Look over there, turkey.

[laughing]

Oh.

Says him.

Now, tell me
all about my new car.

[sighs]

Ta-dum!

- You got the keys.
- Yes.

What a way to spend
a Sunday morning.

Mr. Chatsworth
wasn't too keen on the idea

of letting us pretend
to steal his car.

So, if anything happens to it

he will have my head, neck, arms

'and possibly
my firstborn child.'

Those are gonna make this the
easiest car theft in history.

What Inspector Bolt had to say?

I couldn't get a hold of him.
I thought he'd be here.

- Uh-oh!
- What do you mean "Uh-oh?"

Well, he may be taking
matters into his own hands.

You mean that he's hot-wiring
Mr. Chatsworth's car?

Well, that's what he said
he'd do if we didn't get

the keys to him
by the time he needed 'em.

[exhales]
Well, I'd better get to that

antique car with these before
he does or Mr. Chatsworth

is going to be very unhappy.

You say nothing of me.

[door opens]

[door closes]

Hey, Bolt.

I've got the best idea
since women's suffrage.

Why not use the keys?

[dramatic music]

Surprise.

You expected someone else?

That's a good girl.

[beeping]

- What happened to Lippincott?
- 'He got all tied up.'

(Diana)
'Why are you tying me up?'

(Alfie)
'Because I don't want him
to get lonely.'

(Diana)
'Where are you taking me?'

(Alfie)
'Out to lunch.'

'Now, get in.'

Lou, you better
get down here right away.

I may need your help.
Diana's in trouble.

[instrumental music]

[whispering]
We've stopped somewhere.
I can't tell where.

[music continues]

(Diana on speaker)
'We're in a car wash
but we seem to be'

'going down
in an elevator.'

Get ahold of Inspector Bolt's
detail command.

There's got to be
a way to reach him.

[music continues]

[engine revving]

[yawns]
Boss? Alfie.

I got the car you wanted.

About this guy Lippincott.

He's useless.

I had to do it myself.

Okay.

(Steve on speaker)
'Trevor calling Lippincott.'

'Trevor calling
Arnie Lippincott.'

I'm gettin' numb, Shadow.

Why don't you untie me?

Not until Alfie gets back
with the special freight.

Hmm.

Then king me.

Oh, shut up!

(Steve on speaker)
'Arnie Lippincott,
where are you?'

'Do you read me?'

Hey, what's that?

(Steve on speaker)
'Come in, Arnie.'

'Urgent message
for Arnie Lippincott.'

'Lippincott, come in, please.'

'Over.'

Shadow.

Now..

...I guess it looks like
you better do

exactly what I tell you to do.

(Diana)
'Well, you've got,
uh, enough classics here'

'to start your own auto show.'

That's a familiar-looking Rolls.

1935 Landaulet?

You ought to be
a used car salesman.

[chuckles]
Cute.

What happened
to the hood ornament?

Boy, you're a nosy broad.

(Alfie)
'But if you must know, the boss
took it for a souvenir.'

Oh, terrific.

(Diana)
'How nice.'

(Bolt)
'Trevor,
this is Lippincott calling.'

'Come in.'

- Lippincott?
- 'Yes, colonel.'

'I'm still here.'

That last idea of yours.
How good was it?

Best idea since
Hannibal crossed the Alps.

Brilliant?

But risky.

Hey, it is you.

'Listen, uh, they've got Diana.'

- Where?
- I don't know.

She says she's somewhere
in a garage

full of classic cars
under a car wash.

(Steve)
'Do you have any idea
where that might be?'

No, no, I don't, but..

Wait a minute.

(Bolt)
'Wait a minute,
it's a long shot'

'but I'd like to try
Alfie's car wash anyway.'

Oh, and I suggest you get
a few men down to the, uh..

...the garage and body shop
on Grafton Avenue.

Grafton. I'll be there.

I'll check with you later. Out.

[dramatic music]

[engine starting]

Don't go away, Shadow.

[instrumental music]

[tires screeching]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

[engine rumbling]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

(Steve on radio)
'Inspector?'

'Bolt?'

Yes, colonel.
I'm still here.

Look, Diana indicated
she's been transferred

to a green four-door sedan.

A green machine. Got it.

[tires screeching]

(Bolt)
Matter of fact, there's one
comin' in right now.

I'll keep an eye on 'em
and move when they do.

Let's hit the road.
We'll monitor on the way.

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

Hey! Hey, help!

Help, somebody!

[telephone ringing]

Nobody answers at the garage.

I got a bad feelin'
about that guy Lippincott.

Yeah, like cop fever.

- I wonder who he really is.
- It doesn't matter.

He ain't gonna
cause us any trouble.

Yeah? Why?

Because if he's runnin'
in that car of his..

...blooey, remember?

Blooey.

You're strange.

[chuckles]

[dramatic music]

[engines starts]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

You hear that, lady?

(Slim)
'Your boyfriend's goin' blooey.'

[Slim laughs]

Blooey?

A bomb.

Inspector Bolt, this is Trevor.

There may be a bomb in your car.

(Steve on radio)
'Repeat, a bomb.'

'Get out immediately. Over.'

Inspector!

'Bolt, bail out now!'

Sorry, colonel.
I haven't got a parachute.

That's an order.

Not until I find out
where they're taking her.

Out.

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

Fiskle?

- That's correct.
- I found the hideout.

It's a farm on Oak Creek
about four miles east

of County Line Road.

(Steve)
'Bolt, are you
out of that car yet?'

I'm gettin' out, right now.
I'm gonna follow 'em on foot.

Out.

[explosion]

Oh, blooey!

[laughs]

Bring her over here.
Quickly, quickly.

Take the top off this thing.

Maybe you, uh, got
rid of my partner

but that won't
stop the others.

[dramatic music]

[splashing]

[grunting]

[thunderclap]

[Fiskle grunting]

[music continues]

[music continues]

Will you take it easy?

Hold it!

That's about enough
horsin' around.

Lou.

[grunting]

Blooey.

Here's another one to add
to your collection, colonel.

- Meet the man.
- Nice work, Bolt.

Alright, Fiskle,
where's Diana Prince?

She's right here.

(Diana)
'Alive and well.'

Which is more than
I can say for some people.

Uh, find another car wash,
Inspector Bolt?

I won't have to take
a bath for a month.

But you, uh, got your man.

Yep, yep. I did that.

Now, maybe
we can find your lady.

There's a button on the bottom
edge of that picture frame.

- There's your lady.
- Yep.

- I'll take it.
- Okay.

The EAKOM phase missile plans.

Touted by military intelligence

as being the most deadly
system yet conceived.

Well, now we can go forward

with a defense system
to neutralize it.

- Yeah, thanks to you two.
- That's us.

The best team since Mickey..

...and Minnie.

[chuckles]
That good?

The best.

[instrumental music]

[theme song]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

♪ Wonder Woman ♪

[music continues]

♪ Wonder Woman ♪♪