Wings (1990–1997): Season 5, Episode 19 - Sleepless in Nantucket - full transcript

( upbeat piano theme playing )

Attention all
Sandpiper passengers,

To allow us to better interface
with other carriers,

starting today, we are changing
our flight numbers

to three digits.

So check your tickets.

The flight that's
boarding, flight 19,

will be flight 486.

Uh, uh, no,
wait a minute.

Uh, uh, uh, 486 is flight 20.

Flight 19 is 562.



I mean, 265.

N-n-no,
uh, wait, uh,

265 is, 14,
19 is...

Oh, the hell with it.

We have a plane leaving
in five minutes

if you want to get off
this damn island,

but be on it.

Has anyone seen Brian?
He's supposed to

take a flight
in five minutes.

I'm sorry, Joe,
I haven't seen him yet.

Eight thirty in the morning,

my guess is he's circling

somewhere over Alex,

waiting for permission to land.



Hey, guys.

Listen, I-I need your opinion
about something, um...

You think Sylvan
is a good name for a little boy?

Only if he's a little boy
who doesn't mind bleeding.

Uh, why are you reading
1001 Names To Give Your Child?

Cause' there's
a baby on the way,

I can't avoid my responsibility.

Give me 50 bucks,
I'll get ya five guys

who'll swear they were with her.

It's not my baby, Roy,

it's my sister's.

Oh, was, uh, this the sister
with the webbed fingers?

No, it isn't.

That's Trina.

And it's webbed toes.

Uh, babies due
any day now,

and it's a
Mather family tradition

for the godfather,
that's me,

to name the baby.

Oh, well, remember, Lowell,

you wanna make sure
that the first and last name

sound good together.

What's your sisters last name?

Mather.

Oh, Lowell, I think she means
her married name.

Oh...

Mather.

Wait a moment, uh...

she married a Mather?

Trust me,
this is a family tree

you do not wanna climb.

Lowell, please tell me that your
sister is not marrying

your brother, or something.

No, no.
That didn't work out.

Ah, what's the big deal?
They're third cousins.

I mean, the way you guys
are carrying on,

you'd think she'd married
a perfect stranger.

Well, you know, Eleanor and
Franklin Roosevelt were cousins.

Hm. Yet another
similarity

between the Roosevelts
and the Mathers.

Go right through
gate one.

Hey, hey.

Hey, what--?
I know, I know,

I know, I know,
I'm late, I'm late, all right.

Just gimme two seconds,
I was over at, uh, Alex's.

What, you overslept?

Not exactly.

Oh, all right, you scored
with your own girlfriend.

What a stud.

Listen, I had to go home,
shower, get my stuff,

but relax, I'm here.

But look at you,
you know.

A pilot
is supposed to instill

confidence in
the passengers.

Excuse me, I don't
instill confidence?

You're wearing
two different shoes.

I'm making a statement.

Yeah, you're saying
"Look at me, I'm an idiot."

Bri, I'm glad
I caught you here,

you left your, uh,
wallet at my place.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, oh, oh,
and this.

I missed you.

I missed you.

You're gonna miss
the flight.

The hell
with it.

Listen, Brian,

You go home,
get cleaned up.

You can take the 10:00,
I'll take this flight.

I think it'd be
a hell of a lot easier

if you two just
moved in together.

( chuckles )

Boy, you believe him.

Yeah, us living
together, ha.

Although, I mean,
it's not such a...

far-out idea, huh?

Well, have you
thought about it?

Well, not really.

Well, maybe we should
think about it for a minute.

Okay.

Yeah, 1078.

What?

Ceiling tiles.

So, what do you think?

I think Lowell's got...

way too much time
on his hands.

No, I-I guess I think
moving in together

would be a pretty
good idea.

Sure would beat
racing across

town every morning
just to pick up underwear.

Yeah. My place is much
closer to the airport.

We do spend almost every night
there together anyway.

I can't think of
a reason not to do it.

Me neither.

So that's it.

I guess we're
moving in together.

I guess we are.

( both chuckle )

I think this
is gonna be great.

Oh, me too,
me too.

Hey, Lowell,
guess what?

We're moving
in together.

Okay.

Now I can take down
that giant picture

I have of you on my wall.

No, Lowell,
I-I meant, Brian and me.

Okay.

That is what I meant.

What are you doing?

I'm moving in my speakers,
What's it look like?

Like you're a roadie
for Metallica.

Brian, you don't have
to do all this tonight.

Yeah, I know, I know.
I just, um...

Makes me feel settled in,

and I don't wanna leave
your room a mess.

Brian, it's not just
my room anymore,

it's our room.

Right, right, right.

So, uh...

where should we put
our speakers?

How about
out our window?

( laughing )

Oh, this is gonna be great.

It's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.

W-what is that?

Uh, this is a hamper,

just hooks on to the back
of the old door, and...

Two points!

Yeah!

Here, you try it,
it's cool

Are these clean?

I don't know,
smell 'em.

Yeah, this is gonna
be great.

( chuckles )

Hm.

Oh, man.

Hey, this is perfect.

You know, I just
got here and already,

I feel really at home.

I think this is gonna be great.

ALEX:
Me too.

Oh, yeah.

Oh!

Wh-What--?
What is that?

It's my retainer.

I'm trying to fix
my underbite.

And-- And why haven't
I seen it before?

Well, I never wore it
when you stayed here but,

you know, now that
you'll be here every night.

( laughs )

Got any more surprises
in store for me?

Maybe.
Huh.

So how do you wanna spend
our first night living together?

In total darkness.

Lowell, you still
got that book.

Haven't picked out
a name yet?

No.

But I-I've narrowed
it down to three.

Kelbo, which means
persecuted and afflicted.

Maurice, which means
gangster love.

And Felix,

which means wonderful,
wonderful cat.

What do you think?

Oh, well, um,
Lowell, I can see

that you'd given it
a lot of thought.

Give it some more.

Hey, you know what name
I've always liked?

Burt.

You know, like a--
Like a Burt Lancaster.

Burt Reynolds.

Nobody messes
with the Burt.

Although, they--
They--

They push around
an Antonio.

You know, they...

They call him names like, uh,
Antonio Balonio and...

smelly boy.

Those heartless punks steal
an Antonio's milk money

and flick his ears
in the cold.

They never pull
that crap on a Burt!

And, uh, if it's a girl,
I like Heather.

JOE:
Hey, Antonio.

What the hell
is that supposed to mean?

Hi, Fay.
Hi, Joe.

How's life
without Brian?

Ah, it's great.
As a matter of fact,

I'm trying to decide
what to do with his room.

What do you think about

a multimedia
entertainment center?

You know, a place to put my TV.

Oh. Heh.

Oh, well,
if it's any help,

when my first husband
George died,

I turned his den
into a sewing room.

Then when I married
my second husband George,

he turned my sewing room
back into a den.

And when I married
George the third,

he turned my den back
into a sewing room.

He was an odd duck, but...

it was worth it.

He made this blouse.

Uh-huh. Mm-hm.

Have, uh,
you seen Brian?

Oh, yes,
he's out in the hanger.

He's asleep on the wing
of the plane.

Brian.
Brian, Brian.

Hey, hey.
Ah.

Hey, hey, hey, Joe.
How ya doing?

Whoo! Wow, I just dreamt
that Alex smiled at me,

and instead of teeth,

she had the grill work
from a '52 Buick.

What--? What are you
doing out here?

Agh, just trying to catch
a little nap.

Haven't slept very well

since she and I
moved in together.

HELEN:
Wow.

Alex, you okay?
You look white.

I am so tired.

I haven't gotten any sleep
since Brian moved in.

( sleazy chuckle )

Up all night
getting sweaty, huh?

Tell me about it.

Please, Roy.

No, I mean it,
tell me about it.

I just don't get it.

I've never
had trouble sleeping.

No, what's the big deal,
Lambert?

I've never minded staying up
all night because of a woman.

Well, you don't have a choice,

if you dozed off, she'd escape.

What do you mean
she sniffs?

She sniffs.

( sniffing loudly )

Like this.

You know, it's horrible.

And it goes on
all night long.

Well, you slept
over there before,

never bothered you.

Before, I wasn't worried
that I'd have to listen to it

for the rest of my life.

Oh, so what if he
clears his throat?

I mean,
everybody does that.

( clears throat )

It's a little more
like this.

Agch! Agch!

I mean, if it's that bad now,

imagine how bad it'll be
in 40 years.

She wears this contraption
on her face.

He has speakers
the size of Stonehenge.

What did she say
when you told her?

I didn't tell her, I didn't
want her to think I had doubts.

I couldn't tell him, I didn't
want him to think I'm not happy.

I don't know, maybe I-I
rushed into this thing.

M-Maybe I should just
go home and live with you.

No! No. N-no, no.

Look, uh...

You're just probably nervous
about starting something new.

You know, honey, I think you're
worrying about this too much.

You and Alex were meant
to be together,

and once you get over
this little bump in the road,

nothing is gonna be able to come
between a great couple like you.

Now, I-I know in my heart
that this is right.

You really don't want me
to come home, do you?

More than words can say.

Oh, Lowell, I heard
your sister had the baby.

Congratulations.

Oh, yeah.
Congratulations, Lowell.

Yeah, it's great.

But she threw me a curve,
she went and had twins.

Now I gotta come up
with two names.

It's no big deal, Lowell, you'll
come up with another name.

But everybody knows that twins'
names are supposed to rhyme.

You know, if I call him Leon,

can't very well call her Neon.

Or Freon.

Lowell, look.

Or Peon.

Lowell, wait.
Listen...

Just because
they're twins,

doesn't mean their names
have to rhyme.

I mean, you don't have to
name them, you know, like,

Nancy and Fancy.

Hey.

Nancy and Fancy.

Thanks, Joe.
You're a lifesaver.

Years from now,
when a large, angry man

named Fancy Mathers
comes looking for you,

Hide.

Well, I'll tell you,

that Alex can be
really rude.

What's wrong?

I-I was telling her about
my husband's sewing room,

and she fell asleep
right in front of me.

You're kidding?

Someone actually slept through
that riveting sewing room story?

Oh, I'm sorry it's not
as fascinating

as the one about the free
hoagie you won

at Fat Tony's
Meatball Dream House.

Boy, Alex and Brian
are really going through

some tough times.

Oh, big surprise.

Why would Hackett wanna

hook himself up
with one woman anyway?

Isn't half the fun
of being single

the thrill of the hunt?

Making eye contact
with a woman

across a crowded room.

Wondering if she's as hot
for you, as you are for her.

Wondering if--
She'll take
a check,

or insist on cash.

Let me tell
you something,

Roy Biggins
doesn't pay for it.

The Roy Biggins
Corporation does.

Well, guess it's
a good thing

that, uh, you and I
never moved in together.

( chuckles )
What do you mean?

Think we would've
driven each other crazy.

What do you mean?

Well, as I recall,

one of us was just a teeny
bit petty and controlling.

Well, I think that's because
one of us was just

a tad rigidly
set in his ways.

Oh, maybe if one of us hadn't
smothered the other one

with constant
attention--

Yeah, well, maybe one of us
just did that

because the other
one was so--

Let's see, what's the word
I'm looking for? Cold!

You want a word? I'll give
you one. How about "needy"?

How about
unromantic!
Insecure!

Egotistical!

We had some great
times, didn't we?

Yes.

Hey, Helen.

What's wrong?

( sighs )

I haven't slept,
I'm not eating.

I'm worried
that Brian and I

rushed into this
living together thing

and I don't wanna
hurt him but...

maybe I should
ask him to move out.

Oh, no. No, no,
there's no way.

You're not coming home.

You mean, as in, uh,

Thomas Wolfe, uh,
You Can't Go Home Again.

No, Joe Hackett, There's a
Pool Table In Your Bedroom.

Um, well, maybe
you should talk to him.

Hi, babe.
How you doing?

Ah, well, um,

I gotta be really
honest with you, uh,

Joey wants me to
move back in with him.

I-it's incredible.

I mean, I don't know
what's going on, he--

He's really depressed,
but I think it would be better

if I went back and spent a few
nights with him, you know.

That's awful, um,
but I understand,

and if a couple nights
isn't enough,

I mean, really, you should
take as much time as you need.

I don't want to come
between you and your brother.

Okay, great. Great. You know,
it's only temporary, right?

As soon as he feels
better, we'll--

We'll pick up right
where we left off.

Absolutely.

Thanks. Thanks.

Yeah, I'll be over later,

pick up some stuff, okay.

This is gonna make Joe
so happy.

Joey, I'm moving
back home.

Oh, come on,
don't cry.

You know, you haven't even
tried to make this work.

Sometimes I think
I'm the only one

who has an investment
in this relationship.

Oh, hey, I didn't
hear you come in.

I-I just brought
Joey along

just to help us move
a few thing, you know?

Make it easier.

Good idea.

Uh, Joey, you wanna start
with the speakers?

Brian, this room is really nice,
are you sure you don't--

J-Just take the speakers
down to your car.

( grunts )

Well, um, I--
I guess I'll get my stuff

out of the drawer.

It's okay, I already
put it in the box.

Oh, that was
thoughtful of you.

Uh, I probably wont need
to take everything with me,

because I'm gonna
be coming back.

Course, you will.

Who we kidding.

You're not
coming back.

Listen, Alex, uh...

I gotta be honest
with you, now this..

This living
together thing,

just didn't work out
the way I thought it would.

Yeah, I know.

What happened?

I think we're both afraid.

Afraid of what?

Of, of...
where it might lead to.

The next step after
living together.

You mean marriage.

Ugh, that's the one.

I just wanna go on record:

( panting ):
I really think you two kids
belong together.

Well, who said
that living together

has to lead to marriage?

So you're not
automatically assuming

that if we live together,
we would get--

Married?
Yeah.

No.
Ah, God.

( chuckling ):
No.

Really?

Well, then,
I-I don't wanna leave.

I don't want you
to leave.

( Joe panting )

Joey...

I'm staying.

( sighs )

That's great.

I'll get the speakers.

Ah, God.

Why didn't we talk
like this

when we decided
to move in together?

I don't know. We should have
just been honest, you know?

Y-Y-Yeah, now that we are
being honest though,

I-I-I just gotta tell you this.

That thing you wear
on your face at night...

boy, it-- It scares me.

Fair enough, but as long
as we're being honest,

your underwear hoop...

Yeah.

( chuckling ):
Grow up.

Okay. Okay, uh...

It's my turn again
now though.

Go ahead.

I-I think--

I am so happy that
you're not coming home.

I mean, that...

you two worked
things out.

You know that sniffing thing
you do when you're sleeping?

I really wish you'd stop that,
it's driving me nuts.

I'll stop sniffing
if you stop that

clearing the throat thing.

That "Agch!"

What the hell have you got
in there anyway?

Well, it's not half
as bad as the, uh:

( snorting loudly )

You know,
rooting for truffles.

If it bothered you so much,

why did you pressure me
into living together?

What? You're the one who--

You practically begged me
to move in with you.

If that's the way you feel,

then maybe this
is a mistake.

We shouldn't
live together.

Yeah, maybe
we shouldn't!

Where do
you want this?
Downstairs.

What?
I'm outta
here man.

Oh, man.

BRIAN:
So, uh...

So that's it, huh?

Guess so.

Yeah, guess so.

So, what does this mean?

Well, I guess it means
that we're through.

It does?

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, after living together,
you can go back to just dating.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

So now, uh,
what do we do?

Oh, I don't wanna
break up.

Me neither.

Then what
are we doing?

I don't know, Alex, I--

I just think we could
probably work this thing out

if we just tried
a little harder, you know?

And we're honest
with each other.

Look, we fight pretty well.

Yeah, we make
up great.

Yeah.

Now if we just worked a little
harder on the middle stuff, huh?

I will if you will.

So you're staying?

Yeah, I'm staying.

Oh, no.

Is this a
"take the speaker kiss"

or "get the speaker kiss"?

Good news, Joey,
I'm staying.

You can bring the other
speaker upstairs.

All right, but, could you get me
a glass of water, first?

What am I,
your slave?

( upbeat piano theme playing )