Wings (1990–1997): Season 3, Episode 22 - As Fate Would Have It - full transcript

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Uh-oh, I don't like
the sound of that.

Losing oil pressure
on the starboard engine.

Well, on the plus side,

all the pretty little lights
on the instrument panel
are still working.

Brian, we're in trouble here.

All right, what's
happenin' up there?

Is there something wrong
with this engine?

Engines are known to
sputter now and then, Helen,

but, uh, the chances of one
actually stopping



have just increased
dramatically.

This is yawing
into the dead engine.

Feather the prop
while I try to
keep the nose up.

Yeah, I'm cranking.

(GRUNTING)
The prop lever's jammed.

We're going down.
Pull it harder...

Keep the nose up!

(ALL CLAMORING)

Hey, hey, we are handling it!
There's nothing
any of you can do!

Yeah, everybody just
fasten your seatbelts
and sit tight.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

HELEN: Oh,
this can't be happening.

This is supposed to be
the biggest night of my life.

(SIGHING) Sometimes you can
really feel like a pawn
in the hands of fate.



I mean, none of this
would have happened

if this morning I had come
out of the kitchen

just one second earlier

or one second later.

Oh!

You clumsy fool!
Where's your mind?

I'm so sorry!

(GASPING) Let me
help you with that. Oh!

Just get away.
You're only making it worse.

Listen, I'm really sorry.
You'll have to let me
clean that for you.

This is pure silk!
You won't be
able to clean it!

Well, then I'll replace it.

(SIGHS) Considering
this is a one-of-a-kind,
custom-tailored jacket

from Milan, Italy,
it would be easier
to replace you.

If I can't clean it,
then I'll send you a check.

Oh. All right.

It's certainly
of no use to me
in this condition.

Have the check made out
for this amount

and, uh, send it
to this address.

Whoa.

I see the price
in lira and it always
seems so inflated.

How much would this be
in dollars?

That is in dollars.

Can you believe this?

Yeah, what a jerk.

This is all I need.

I mean, I'm practically down
to my last penny

and now I got to
buy this guy a jacket
that costs more than my car.

Oh, get him a knock-off.

My tailor can duplicate
that jacket exactly,

it won't cost you
more than $50.

Oh.

Plus it would be
machine washable,
flame retardant

and have a neat little
zip-away hood.

Oh, my God!

Look at this card.
Do you know who that is?

I don't believe it.
It's Peter Swinden.

Of course! He plays
Smedley the Hobo
on the Poppo The Clown Show.

Lowell, he's
the managing director of
the Boston Symphony Orchestra.

Is there nothing
the man can't do?

I hate that Swinden.

I sent him an audition tape
over a year ago

and he didn't even
have the courtesy
to send me a response.

Not even a form letter
telling me to go to hell.

Well, good manners
went out with the
Eisenhower Administration.

Hey, Helen, I thought you
gave up the idea of becoming
a concert cellist.

Can't you put all that stuff
behind you?

I did. It just bugs me when
a guy in a position of power

treats someone like dirt
and never gets called on it.

I never let that happen.

Just last night,
I had an ugly scene

with the night manager
at Ben and Jerry's.

That pimply-faced little puke
tried to close early on me.

Big mistake.

I'll bet he's still
picking chocolate jimmies
out of his scalp.

You know, Helen,
this Swinden guy

isn't going any place
until his flight is called.

If you still want to give him
a piece of your mind,
I say go for it.

You know,
you're right, Joe.

That made me feel
a lot better. Thanks.

Joe, I know you're
only trying to help,

but I think
you really stirred up
a hornet's nest here.

Who said
I'm trying to help?

All of a sudden,
I'm proud to be a Hackett.

Excuse me, Mr. Swinden,

I have something
to say to you.

My name is Helen Chapel
and I don't just work
behind a lunch counter.

I also happen to be
a cellist.

Well, perhaps you should
get together with that
oboe-playing busboy

and that flute-playing
baggage handler
I ran across earlier

and form yourselves
a little band.

I sent you an audition tape
over a year ago

and you didn't even
have the courtesy
to send me a response.

In your book, that may
make you some big shot,
but if you ask me,

you're nothing
but an insensitive,

pig-headed,
self-centered SOB.

What are you implying?

You don't even remember,
do you?

I played
the Britten Cello Suite.

And you wanna know somethin'?

I played the hell out of it.

Wait a minute,
the Britten Cello Suite?
I do remember!

Oh, don't humor me.

I'm not!
I wouldn't know how.

You used
a delicately understated
left hand pizzicato

during the Serenata movement.

Yeah, you bet
your G-string I did.

Where have you been?
We all loved that tape.

We wanted you
for second chair.

Well, what the hell happened?

Somehow
the label fell off.

We tried everything
to locate you but to no avail.

This is unbelievable.
Really?

You wanted me
to play in the Boston
Symphony Orchestra?

Did you hear that?

Well, you know,
as fate would have it,

I'm still available.

Quite ironic, isn't it?

Yes, that you would literally
bump into me by accident.

No, I mean that we filled
the position with someone
of lesser ability

but she grew to be
a wonderful cellist.

Isn't that a hoot?

(PAGER BEEPING)

Oh, excuse me,
it's, uh, my office.

Wait till I tell them
our mystery cellist

works the lunch counter
in some piddly airport.

They're going to laugh!

Isn't this great?
Is this just the best?

I mean, why doesn't life
just kick me when I'm down?

I believe it just did.

And you wanna know
the worst part?

My musical career
was really over when I
got back from New York.

And this just dredges
it all up again.

I mean, I had finally
gotten to the point

where I could listen
to classical music
without throwin' up.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

Gee, Helen,
I'm really sorry.

I guess it would have been
better if you'd never known
how close you got.

Sometimes
ignorance is bliss.

It's not as good
as losing consciousness.

This is the most
incredible coincidence.

You know this cellist
we were speaking of,

the one we hired
instead of you?

I've just been informed
she has tendonitis

and can't perform tonight.

Tonight is the opening
of our spring season.

It's going to be difficult
to find a replacement
on such short notice.

I'm available.

I thought of that, of course.
I heard your tape
and you're fantastic.

But, no.
It would never work.

What?
What would never work?

Whatever it is,
I can make it work.

The program is Schoenberg.
The technical demands
are daunting.

I don't have to tell you
how difficult
Verklarte Nacht is.

That's my warm-up piece.

That's what I play every day!

This is extraordinary.

I must be as lucky
as I am gifted.

ROY: Attention.

Aeromass flight 17 to Boston

is now departing
this piddly airport
at Gate One.

Look,

I have to
catch the plane so...

I'm gonna have to make
a very bold decision.

Miss Chapel.
Yes?

(LAUGHS)
The job is yours.

The performance is
at 8:00 tonight
at Symphony Hall.

Don't let me down.
No, sir. I will not!

I will not! I'll be there.
This is a dream come true.
It's just perfect!

Yes I know. Your fee
for tonight should almost
cover the cost of my jacket.

(SCREAMING)

Is this unbelievable?

I'm going to be playing with
the Boston Symphony Orchestra!

Yahoo!

My, she is happy.

(ALL CHEERING)

(WHOOPING)

My God, Helen, I had no idea
you could move like that.

Me either. I've never done
anything like it before.

You know, Helen, this may
seem like a strange time
to bring this up,

but, I think we should
start dating again.

Brian, I don't know
how much longer
I can hold this.

How's that
prop lever coming?

Almost got it,
almost got it.

Yeah, all right.
Right, that's it.

Phew. Gee,
this thing is handling
like a garbage truck.

Brian, try to
re-start that engine.

(ENGINE FALTERING)

Uh, no luck.

Well, keep trying.

Flying over water with
one engine isn't exactly my
favorite thing in the world.

HELEN: It's bad enough that
fate had this in store for me.

But when you think about it,

it was fate that put
my friends on this plane, too.

Okay. Everything's arranged.

You all have the best seats
in the house,

then you'll
see the concert

and then we'll all go out
for a nice triumphant bottle
of champagne.

Uh, actually, Helen, I can't.

What do you mean you can't?

What could be more important
than my symphonic debut, Joe?

Jim Bartow's bachelor party.

Wait a minute, you're talking
about sitting around

with a bunch of guys,
guzzling beer, watching
some sleazy strippers.

I'm talkin' about the most
important night of my life!

Helen, I'm Jim's best man.

I'm organizing
the whole thing.

Look, I am really sorry.
Joe.

And for your information,
we're not having
any strippers.

Unless I can get
the Devlin twins

to knock $100
off their asking price.

Oh, well, you'll be there,
won't you, Brian?

Oh, absolutely, especially
if we can get the Devlin twins

'cause they do a version
of the old Harpo Marx
in the doorway routine,

makes even me blush.

I meant you'd be there
at the symphony.

Helen, a-after everything
we've been through,

you know I wanna
be there for you.

I mean, this bachelor party
is a surprise

and I'm the one who's
supposed to get Jim there.

He thinks he's gonna
see a double feature.

And with any luck, he will.

I'm sorry.

Uh, uh, well, does it
have to be tonight?

Fay!

Whatever it is,
can't you change it?

Oh, well, if it was
anything else, I--I could.

But--but I'm being awarded
the "Nantucket Volunteer
of the Year" award.

Fay, this is important to me.

Oh, my award's
important to me, too.

You think
I'm out there every weekend
in an orange jumpsuit

picking up roadside trash
'cause I like it?

(CLATTERING)

Well, Lowell, guess
it's just you and me tonight.

Really?
Yeah.

You'd give up
your symphonic debut

to help me install a new
transponder in Joe's plane?

You're busy too?

Gosh, you never have
anything to do.

Well, tonight I do.

Plane's available
thanks to that bachelor party.

Bachelor party, might I add,
that no one invited me to.

Lowell, you don't even
like Jim Bartow.

But I like
watching strippers.

Even if
they are my cousins.

(SIGHS)

It's the most important
night of my life

and no one I care about
will be there
to share it with me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Helen.
No, it's okay.
I understand.

I mean, fate can be
cruel sometimes.

Helen, I just
checked my schedule

and I can make it to that
band concert of yours tonight.

And other times it can be
downright sadistic.

Come on, Roxanne,
be reasonable.

What could you
and your sister possibly do

that would justify
my paying an extra $100?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Well, could just one of you
do it for $50?

Okay, you got
yourself a deal. Yeah.

Joe. Now you have got to come
to Boston with me tonight.

I mean, I've dreamed
about this night ever since
I was a little girl.

I'll be performing with
one of the most prestigious
orchestras in the country.

It's just not gonna mean
anything unless someone's
there to share it with me.

Well, isn't Roy
gonna be there?

I meant someone who doesn't
clap along with the music.

Helen, I would love to,
but I can't.

It's too late to change
the bachelor party.
Please, Joe.

The only way I could go
is if by some fluke,

Jim Bartow
called off his wedding.

Joe, you're not going to
believe what happened.

Jim Bartow just
called off his wedding.

Yes!

You're kidding!
No.

You told him to say that.
She told you to say that.
She never told me anything!

No, no, seems that old Jim
was out making a scallop run

and he saw his bride-to-be

with some stud on the beach
digging for clams

without a shovel,
if you know what I mean.

You know, this is like
it was meant to be.

It's like fate.
This is destiny.

This is great!

I'm sure Jim doesn't think so.
He must be devastated.

Well, actually,
he took it all pretty well.

He rammed his boat
into the pier
screaming her name

and then just went on
with life as usual.

Guys, I meant
you'll be able to go
to the symphony with me.

Uh, I don't know.

I may have made
an oral agreement
with the Devlin twins.

All right, Joseph, you went
for the five star package!

Joe.

Oh, uh, don't worry,
Helen, we'll be there.

HELEN: Fay,
you won't believe it.

Joe and Brian are gonna go
to Boston with me tonight.

I only wish you could go, too.

Well, as fate
would have it, I can.

This is getting weird.

What--What happened
to your volunteer award?

Well, the most
incredible thing happened.

We were having our banquet
at Angelo's By the Sea.

And some screaming madman
rammed his boat into the pier,

and--and they had to
close the restaurant.

Well, uh, the ceremony's
been postponed until tomorrow
till they clean up.

They wanted me to help
but the plaque's already
been engraved.

They can't touch me.

Joe, if you're finished
with the plane,

I want to get started
on that transponder.

Uh, actually, Lowell,
I'm gonna need
the plane tonight.

It turns out that we can
go to Boston with Helen.

All of you?
BRIAN: Yeah.

My, my, what a pleasant
turn of events.

Lowell, since you can't
work on the plane,
you know what this means.

Yeah, finally a night
to myself. See you!

FAY: Lowell!

D-Don't you wanna go
to Boston to see
Helen's symphony debut?

Oh, yeah, right.
That's what I meant.

A night to myself,
with all of you in Boston

at Helen's symphonic debut.

You know me, any excuse
to put on the old monkey suit.

(SNICKERS)

Or is this one of those things
where you need a tuxedo?

Tuxedo. Well, we're all
gonna get dressed up,
aren't we?

Yeah, absolutely.
Hmm.

I can't believe this.
I mean, this is so incredible.

A few minutes ago I was
in the depths of despair

because no one was gonna
be able to go with me.

And now one by one
you walk through the door

and you tell me you can.

I know. It's like we're
living in an O. Henry story.

Leave it to the Irish
to produce a man
who's not only a great writer,

but also makes
a damned fine candy bar.

It just doesn't get
any better than this.

Sure it could. Roy could
walk through that door
right now

and tell you he can't make it.

Helen, about your
performance tonight,

I've got a problem.

Yes?

The cleaners
messed up my tuxedo.

Is it okay if I wear
a velour jogging suit?

It's black.

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

Hold on, everyone,
things might get
a little bumpy back there.

Hey, do you know
what the hell
you're doing up there?

Oh, oh, oh, are we dropping?
It feels like
we're still dropping!

We're handling it, Roy.
Just relax.

How the hell can I relax
with you two idiots
at the controls?

I swear,
if I survive this thing,

I am going straight
to the F.A.A.

and have both
your licenses revoked.

Well, at least now
we have a goal to work toward.

Lowell, what happened
to the engine anyway?

Well, the technical term is
catastrophic engine failure.

W-What causes that?

Catastrophes.

I think the term is pretty
self-explanatory, Helen.

That's when something
explains itself.

God, I hate this.

Oh, now, Roy, just relax
and try to think
of other things.

Like what?

Uh, well, this tuxedo,
for instance.

I'm so pleased it fits you.

Isn't that
a stroke of luck that you

and my late husband
George are the same size?

This thing stinks.
He didn't die in it, did he?

No. Of course not.
That's the moth balls.

You know, it's funny,
I don't remember George

as being as big a man
as you are.

Uh, I suppose when someone
has a pleasant personality,

you tend to look
past the physical.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I swear if I get out
of this tinker-toy alive,
I'm gonna be a nice guy.

I'm gonna be a good guy.
I'm gonna be the sweetest guy
that anybody ever...

What the hell
is your problem, woman?

Sitting there working that
crossword puzzle with that
stupid grin on your face.

(SOBBING)
Can't you see
we're about to die?

Oh, now, Roy, you forget
I was a stewardess.

We were trained to always
smile in the face of danger,

to never let the passengers
know that there was
anything amiss.

But if it makes you feel
any better,

I am throwing up
on the inside.

Yeah.

This one's a goner, Joe.
I'm gonna cross-feed
the fuel to the good engine.

All right. We're gonna
have to head back.

All right, but remember,
with one engine,
make the turn really wide.

Wait a minute. Turn?
Why are we turning?

Helen, we're down
to one engine.
This is an emergency.

We've got to go back
to Nantucket.

(CHATTERING)
Back? We're going back?

Helen, I know how much
you want to make it
to this symphony,

but we have got to turn back.

The rule is you go to
the nearest safe landing
place to effect repairs.

Uh, look, Joe, uh,
I don't wanna panic anybody,
but the radio is out.

(SNIVELING) Oh, my God.
The radio's out.

Oh, not to worry, Roy.

How can you say that?

Well, Joe had me get
the extended warranty
on the radio.

That's a gamble
that really paid off, huh?

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

You listen to me.
Stop this turning business
and get on to Boston.

Helen, we can't! We are
not past the mid-point yet.

Nantucket is still
the closest landing place.

F.A.A. regulations are
very explicit on this point.

Joe.
And there's a good
reason for that.

It takes away
the temptation to go further
than safety will allow.

Joey.
The decision is already
made for you.

It's out of our hands.
Joe.

What?
Well, during your
painfully dry dissertation

on the mid-point principle,
we passed it.

So our nearest safe landing
is now Hyannis.

Oh, this is great!
Then I can just take a plane
from Hyannis to Boston

and I can make the performance
on time, yay!

(CLUNKING NOISES)

What was that?
Nothing, Roy.

That wasn't nothing.
Nothing feels like nothing.
That was something.

Shut up, Roy.

Too bad I don't have any
honey smoked almonds.

That usually
calms people right down.

The cross-feed valve
is clogged.

I don't know if we have
enough fuel to make it
to Hyannis.

I don't believe this!

Oh, God!

Does anyone know
an eleven-letter

sports term
meaning tie-breaker?

Shut up, Fay!

All right, everybody,
stay calm!

Now, we've got limited fuel,
and if we're gonna
make it last...

I know. I know.
Do what you have to do.

All right.
Everybody, guys,

I need your cooperation.

We have to lighten our load.

Roy.

Oh, no, you don't.
No, no, keep away from me.

I swear
I'll kill the first person
who touches me! No, no.

Roy! Roy! I just need you
to hand me the tool box.

I've got to start
unbolting the seats.
Oh, okay.

And in case we do need you,
stand by.

Lowell, start on the seats.
I'll jettison the doors.

LOWELL: Right.

You know, it's funny,

if Jim Bartow hadn't caught
his girlfriend fooling around,

he never would have crashed
his boat into the pier.

So, Fay would be accepting
her award right now

and she wouldn't be here.

And, well, for that matter,

Joe and Brian would be
at Jim's bachelor party

so they wouldn't be here.

Helen and Roy would be
on another flight,

so they wouldn't be here.

And of course,
I wouldn't be here

'cause I'd be down
in the hangar installing
the new transponder.

I made out
better than everyone,

at least I got out
of some work.

What the hell is this
transponder he keeps
talking about, anyway?

That's a transmitter
that sends out a constant
homing signal

so that in the event
of a crash,

an emergency crew
is almost certain
to find you.

And if we don't have one?

Well, uh, what's
the nautical equivalent of
"needle in a haystack"?

Let's quit talking like that.
We're not gonna crash.

We're gonna make it to Boston.

I've had
really good luck so far

so everybody keep
a good attitude and think
positive thoughts.

Hey, how many more seats
do you want to throw out?

That may be enough for now.

At least I hope it is.

I think it's helping.
Yeah. Yeah.

Our airspeed's up.
Everyone can relax now.

I think we're gonna be
fine from now.

(WHOOPING)

Oh, that was a close one!

You know, you always wonder
how you're gonna react

in moments of crisis.

I--I don't know where that
natural courage comes from,

(GIGGLING)
it just bubbles up
from somewhere.

Maybe it comes
from those natural reservoirs
underneath your arms, Roy.

I can't believe today!

I mean,
with all its ups and downs,
it's turned out pretty well.

I mean, normally
I wouldn't say that

because I would be afraid
of bringing bad luck

but, I mean, considering
what we've been through,

I mean, what more
could possibly happen?

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Now, Roy,
if I have to slap you,
I will!

That lightning just took out
our second engine.

By my count,
that's all we've got.

Prepare for a water landing.
Set best glide speed.
We're going in.

(WIND HOWLING)