Wings (1990–1997): Season 2, Episode 8 - High Anxiety - full transcript

HI, FAY.
OH, HI, LOWELL.

UH, DID YOU FIND ANYTHING
WITH YOUR NEW
METAL DETECTOR?

[laughs]

EVEN MORE
THAN I DREAMED OF.

THIS PERFECTLY GOOD,
FLATTENED PIECE
OF RUSTY METAL,

THIS HALF OF A CAR ANTENNA,

AND THIS
MEDIC-ALERT BRACELET.

FIGURE I'LL GIVE THAT
TO THE MISSIS.

DOES SHE HAVE ANGINA?

NO, SHE HAD AN AUNT SOPHIE.

BUT SHE DIED
OF A HEART ATTACK.



I'M SORRY.

WELL, THANK YOU.
BUT IT HAPPENED
A LONG TIME AGO.

NO, I'M SORRY I ASKED.

[seagulls cawing]

[people chattering]

HERE YOU GO, FAY.

I JUST BAKED
A FRESH BATCH OF COOKIES.

OH, THANK YOU, HELEN.
THAT'S SO SWEET OF YOU

TO DONATE THOSE
TO OUR BLOOD DRIVE.

DONATE THEM?
(Fay)
UH-HUH.

OH, SURE.

AND THE JUICE, TOO,
RIGHT?

YES, BLESS YOU.

OH, MY PLEASURE.



HI, I'M CARRIE.

OH, LIKE THE MOVIE, HUH?

I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU
WITHOUT THAT BUCKET
OF BLOOD ON YOUR HEAD.

WOW, YOU HAVE
GREAT FOREARMS.

OH, THESE LITTLE THINGS?

YEAH, THEY'RE PERFECT
FOR GIVING BLOOD.

TOO MUCH MUSCLE TONE
REALLY GETS IN THE WAY.

SO, ROY,
IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME?

YES.

AH, I GIVE BLOOD
ALL THE TIME.

JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
I'LL DO ANYTHING
FOR A SUGAR COOKIE.

I'LL GIVE YOU MINE
IF YOU'LL SHUT UP.

I'M STARTING TO FEEL
A LITTLE WOOZY.

AH, YOU JUST HAVE TO GET
YOUR MIND OFF THE FACT

THAT THERE'S A STEEL NEEDLE
PLUNGED INTO YOUR VEIN.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

LET'S HAVE A CONTEST
TO SEE WHO CAN FILL
THEIR BAG FASTER.

NURSE? NURSE?

COME ON,
LOOK AT THAT BLOOD GUSH.

OH.

(Joe)
FAY, YOU KNOW
THOSE LITTLE GOLD WINGS

I WEAR ALL THE TIME?

YOU SEEN THOSE AROUND
ANYWHERE?

NO. BUT I CAN GET YOU
ANOTHER PAIR.

NO, IT HAS TO BE THAT PAIR.

THEY'RE SORT OF
A GOOD LUCK CHARM.

I GOT 'EM
THE FIRST TIME I FLEW.

I WAS 8, AND
MY PARENTS TOOK ME
TO CHICAGO.

GOD, I WAS SO EXCITED.

(Fay)
OH, I CAN IMAGINE.

I ASKED THE STEWARDESS

IF I COULD BE THE PILOT.

SHE SAID NO,
BUT SHE HAD SOMETHIN'
EVEN BETTER.

SHE TOOK
THE LITTLE GOLD WINGS
OFF HER UNIFORM,

PINNED 'EM ON MY JACKET
AND SAID,

"THERE, NOW YOU'RE
AN HONORARY CAPTAIN."

AND I KNEW
RIGHT THEN AND THERE
THAT SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY,

FLYING WOULD ALWAYS BE
PART OF MY LIFE.

OH, MY, THAT'S EERIE.

WHY?

WELL, I USED TO
FLY OUT OF CHICAGO,

AND I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER
A LITTLE BOY

ASKING ME IF HE COULD
FLY THE PLANE.

I TOLD HIM NO, TOO.
AND THEN I GAVE HIM THE WINGS
OFF MY UNIFORM.

FAY, ARE YOU SAYING
YOU THINK THAT

I WAS THAT LITTLE BOY?

NOT UNLESS YOU USED TO BE
A LITTLE BLACK CHILD.

UH, BUT THAT PART
ABOUT THE WINGS
WAS SPOOKY, WASN'T IT?

OH, YEAH.

WELL, UH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THE WINGS, JOE.

I'LL PUT NOTICES UP
AROUND THE AIRPORT.
GREAT. THANKS.

UH, HAVE YOU GIVEN BLOOD YET?

UH, NO, NOT YET. BUT I'M
REALLY BUSY RIGHT NOW.
I'LL DO IT LATER.

OH, JOE, DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE AFRAID
OF A LITTLE NEEDLE?

EVEN ROY'S GIVING BLOOD.

[groaning]

FAY, I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS RIGHT NOW.

HI, JOE.
OH!

HEY, HI, DR. BENNETT.
I MISSED YOU LAST WEEK.

I THOUGHT
WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT.

WE DID?

UH, DID I-- DID I MISS THAT?
OH, I'M SORRY.
I-I-I'VE BEEN SO BUSY.

WE'LL HAVE TO RESCHEDULE.
UH, NOW'S A GOOD TIME.

UH, I--I REALLY...
I'VE GOT--
HAVE A SEAT, JOE.

SO,

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING?

I'VE BEEN FEELIN' GREAT.

GETTIN' A LOT OF REST.
WORKIN' OUT 3 TIMES A WEEK,
EATIN' A LOT OF FISH.

GLAD TO HEAR IT.

YEAH. OH, I WAS THINKIN'
ABOUT GETTING ONE OF
THOSE STAIR MACHINES,

BUT THE STORE THAT SELLS THEM
IS ON THE 3RD FLOOR.

I DIDN'T FEEL
LIKE WALKIN' UP.

[laughing]

SO, AM I GONNA LIVE?

NOT IF YOU KEEP TELLING
JOKES LIKE THAT.

IT'S EVEN HIGHER
THAN LAST TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

I'M GONNA HAVE TO FILE
THAT REPORT WITH THE F.A.A.

HOW ABOUT WE GO 2 OUT OF 3?

SORRY, JOE.

HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, BRO?

HEY, YOU LOOK ABOUT AS WHITE
AS ROY'S LEGS.

MY BLOOD PRESSURE'S TOO HIGH.

I'VE BEEN GROUNDED.

[knocking on door]

[door opening]

HEY, JOE.

I THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT BE HUNGRY.

OH, NOT REALLY,
BUT THANKS ANYWAY.

WELL, YOU MIGHT
WANT IT LATER.

YOU OK, JOE?
YEAH.

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT?

WELL, THERE'S NOTHIN' MUCH
TO SAY, REALLY.

MY BLOOD PRESSURE'S
BEEN CREEPIN' UP FOR A WHILE

AND I JUST KEPT HOPIN'
THE PROBLEM WOULD GO AWAY.

IS IT SERIOUS?
NAH.

BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I HAVE TO TAKE MEDICATION
FOR HYPERTENSION.

ME, OF ALL PEOPLE.

YEAH, GO FIGURE.

JOE,

JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
HOW SORRY I AM.

THANKS, LOWELL.

ARE YOU OK?

I'M FINE.

I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW THAT

SOMETIMES THESE THINGS
CAN BE TAKEN CARE OF
WITH A CROW BAR.

WHAT?

JUST STICK IT IN THERE
AND PRY IT OUT.

LOWELL, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

TALKIN' ABOUT
THAT DAIRY TRUCK THAT
SIDESWIPED YOUR CAR

OUT IN THE PARKING LOT.

WELL, ON THE PLUS SIDE,

3 BOTTLES OF MILK
LANDED IN YOUR BACK SEAT.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

[door closing]

BOY, THIS ISN'T YOUR DAY,
IS IT?

YOU'RE TELLIN' ME.
I JUST BOUGHT MILK
THIS MORNING.

OH, HACKETT.

[airplane engine whirring]

I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY
IN NO MOOD FOR COMPANY.

I JUST CAME BY
TO SEE IF YOU'RE OK.

I'M FINE.
GOOD.

GOOD, I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW SORRY I AM TO HEAR
ABOUT YOU BEING GROUNDED.

[tutting]

THANKS, ROY,
I APPRECIATE THAT.

I KNOW HOW MUCH
FLYING MEANS TO YOU,
HACKETT.

SO IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,

SOMEONE TO TALK TO,

SOMEONE TO LEAN ON,

SOMEONE TO--
THE AIRLINE'S
NOT FOR SALE, ROY.

WELL, IF YOU
CHANGE YOUR MIND.

WHERE THE HELL IS BRIAN?

THAT FLIGHT WAS SUPPOSED
TO LEAVE 15 MINUTES AGO.

I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST HIM.
NOW, CALM DOWN, JOE.

REMEMBER WHAT
THE DOCTOR SAID.

RIGHT, RIGHT.
YOU JUST LET ME KNOW
WHEN BRIAN GETS HERE.

[door closing]

UH, WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?

WHEN JOE SEES THIS OFFER,
HE'S GONNA BEG ME
TO BUY SANDPIPER.

I--I DON'T THINK
THIS IS THE BEST TIME.
JOE'S A LITTLE UPSET.

[laughing]
ARE YOU KIDDING?

THERE ISN'T A BETTER TIME.

HIS DEFENSES ARE DOWN,

HE ISN'T THINKING CLEARLY.

IN 5 MINUTES, I'LL HAVE HIM
CURLED UP UNDER THE DESK
IN A FETAL POSITION.

HI, FAY.
OH, HI, LOWELL.

DID YOU FIND JOE'S WINGS?

NO, BUT EVER CONSIDER
THE POSSIBILITY

THAT THEY
SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED?

THINGS LIKE THAT
HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.

LOWELL, THAT IS
THE MOST RIDICULOUS--

(Joe)
I'M NOT SELLING, ROY!

[blowing]

OH, WHAT WAS I THINKING?

FAY, BRIAN'S NOT
GONNA SHOW UP.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
MAKE ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT
TO THE PASSENGERS.

TELL 'EM--
JOE, THIS IS MY JOB.

I THINK I CAN HANDLE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

GOOD AFTERNOON,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WE'RE VERY SORRY
FOR THE DELAY IN BOARDING

SANDPIPER AIR FLIGHT 7
TO HYANNIS.

BUT DUE TO
UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES,
YOUR PILOT IS

DOING AN IMPORTANT, UH...

UH, PILOT THING.

I CHOKED.

UH, SORRY I'M LATE,
EVERYBODY,

BUT THEY WERE SHOWIN',
THE NUTTY PROFESSOR
ON THE SPANISH STATION.

[speaking Spanish]

BRIAN, BRIAN, YOU'RE LATE.

WHY, I'M 15 MINUTES LATE.
I'LL MAKE IT UP IN THE AIR.

AND LOOK AT YOU.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA START
DRESSING LIKE A PILOT?

I HAVE TOLD YOU,
WHEN YOU COME TO WORK,

I WANT YOU
DRESSED LIKE THIS.

UH, SORRY, JOE,
BUT WITH ALL THE FLYING
I HAVE BEEN DOING,

I HAVEN'T HAD TIME
TO GO SHOPPING
AT "MR. DULL MAN."

BRIAN, I'M DEPENDING
ON YOU.

AND IF YOU
CAN'T HANDLE THIS,
JUST SAY SO.

I NEVER SAID
I COULDN'T HANDLE IT.

L-LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, BRIAN.
I HANDLED IT.

BEFORE YOU GOT HERE,
I FLEW FULLTIME
AND RAN THE OFFICE.

WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE
YOU'RE WONDERFUL, JOE.

IN FACT, YOU SHOULD
HAVE YOUR NAME
LEGALLY CHANGED

TO "WONDERFUL JOE."

I LIKE IT.

WHY I EVER THOUGHT
YOU WERE GONNA GROW UP
OH.

...AND TAKE
SOME RESPONSIBILITY,
I'LL NEVER KNOW.

THIS ARRANGEMENT
ISN'T GONNA WORK.

WORK? I DON'T WANNA HEAR
THE WORD "WORK" COMIN' OUT

OF ANYBODY'S MOUTH
WHO ISN'T DOIN' ANY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

I'M WORKIN' HARDER
THAN YOU ARE.
OH, PLEASE.

WHEN YOU START FLYING
YOUR MAXIMUM HOURS,
THEN COME TALK TO ME.

AS IT IS,
THE MOST STRENUOUS THING
YOU DO ALL DAY

IS FLAP YOUR GUMS AT ME.

THAT'S BECAUSE
ALL YOU EVER DO
IS SCREW UP.

OH, YOU KNOW,

I'M REALLY STARTIN'
TO GET SICK OF THIS.

AND EVER SINCE
YOU'VE BEEN GROUNDED,

YOU'VE BEEN
TAKIN' IT OUT ON ME.

I DON'T NEED THIS AGGRAVATION.

ME AGGRAVATE YOU?
THAT'S A LAUGH.
YEAH.

OH, NOW WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN NOW?

I DIDN'T HAVE HYPERTENSION
BEFORE YOU GOT HERE.

I HAVE IT NOW.
FIGURE IT OUT.

WHOA, COME ON.
NOW YOU'RE BLAMIN' ME
FOR YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE?

WHILE YOU ARE AT IT,
WHY DON'T YOU ADD
WORLD HUNGER,

THE COLLAPSE OF
THE FREE MARKET ECONOMY,

AND THE SORRY STATE OF MORALS
IN THE AMERICAN CINEMA?

HEY, WHO KNOWS
WHAT YOU DO
WITH YOUR FREE TIME?

YOU KNOW WHAT
YOUR REAL PROBLEM IS?

YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE FACT

THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN YOUR LIFE, YOU NEED ME.

NO, I DON'T NEED YOU.
OH, THE HELL YOU DON'T.

I'M THE ONLY THING
KEEPIN' THIS AIRLINE FROM
GOING DOWN THE TUBES, BIG MAN.

[laughing]
IF IT TOOK ME MORE THAN
10 MINUTES TO REPLACE YOU,

I'D BE SHOCKED.

REPLACE ME FASTER
THAN IT TAKES

TO GET YOUR HAIR DONE RIGHT
IN THE MORNING?
KEEP DREAMIN'.

'CAUSE WITHOUT ME,
SANDPIPER'S HISTORY, BUB.

OH, YOU REALLY
THINK SO, HUH?

OH, I KNOW SO.
NOBODY WOULD WANT THIS JOB.

NOBODY COULD STAND THIS JOB.

THE ONLY REASON
I STAYED THIS LONG,

WAS SO I COULD
GET MY HOURS UP

SO I COULD START FLYIN'
FOR A MAJOR CARRIER.

WELL, IN CASE
YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED,

THE PILOTS AT T.W.A.
DO NOT WEAR T-SHIRTS THAT SAY,
"I BRAKE FOR SUPERMAN".

WELL, WHEN I START
FLYIN' BIG TIME,
I'LL START DRESSIN' BIG TIME.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO GO FLY A PLANE,

UNLESS YOU'D...

OH, SORRY.

OK, LOAD 'EM UP, FAY.

SANDPIPER AIR FLIGHT 7
WILL NOW BEGIN BOARDING.

FAY, CANCEL THAT FLIGHT.

DUE TO UNFORESEEN
DIFFICULTIES,
FLIGHT 7 HAS BEEN CANCELED.

JOE, DON'T BE A JERK.

FAY, DO THE ANNOUNCEMENT.

RE-ANNOUNCING
THE RE-BOARDING OF FLIGHT 7.

CANCEL IT.

UH, SANDPIPER AIR FLIGHT 7
HAS BEEN RE-CANCELED.

YOU'RE FIRED.

ME? HE'S THE ONE--

NO, NO, NOT YOU, FAY.

OH, SO I-I'M FIRED, HUH?

WELL, I GUESS THIS IS, UH,
WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY,

"YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.
I QUIT."

WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO,

BECAUSE I WANT YOU
ON THE HOOK
FOR UNEMPLOYMENT.

(Joe)
OH, WHAT THE HELL?

YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.

I QUIT.

FAY, I GUESS
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO--
NO-UH, NO, SIR. NO WAY.

YOU WANT
ANOTHER ANNOUNCEMENT,
YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

SO YOU'RE CALLIN' ABOUT
THE PILOT'S JOB, HUH?

YEAH, IT'S STILL OPEN.

UH-HUH, THAT'S RIGHT,
A CESSNA 402.

WELL, THE SALARY I HAD IN MIND
WAS A LITTLE LOWER THAN THAT.

LOWER.

UH, LOWER.

YEAH, LOWER.

LOOK, I--I DON'T THINK
THIS IS GONNA WORK OUT.
THANKS ANYWAY.

LOWER.

HEY, JOE,
HOW'S THE PILOT SEARCH GOIN'?

WELL, YOU THINK
I WOULD'VE FOUND SOMEONE
IN 4 DAYS.

I DIDN'T REALIZE
I WAS PAYING SO BADLY.

YESTERDAY I HAD SOMEBODY
TURN ME DOWN

TO BE THE HEAT LAMP GUY
AT McDONALD'S.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

I MADE THIS MONTH'S PAYMENTS
WITH THE LAST OF MY SAVINGS.

THAT STILL LEAVES
THE GATE RENTAL, UH,
INSURANCE, AND FUEL BILLS.

EVERY DAY THE PLANE
DOESN'T FLY,

I GET THAT MUCH CLOSER
TO SHUTTING DOWN FOR GOOD.

[phone ringing]

YEAH?

LOWER.

[sighs]

HEY, I JUST HAD AN IDEA.

I KNOW A PILOT
THAT MIGHT WANT THE JOB.

R-R-REALLY? THAT'S GREAT.
WHO IS IT?

WELL, RUMOR HAS IT
YOU TWO TOOK BATHS TOGETHER
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE.

HELEN, I'M NOT HIRING
BRIAN BACK.

I WASN'T NECESSARILY
TALKIN' ABOUT BRIAN.

BUT SINCE YOU MENTIONED HIM,
WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I'M NOT,
AND THAT'S FINAL.

UH, W-WHY ARE YOU
SO INTERESTED IN HAVING HIM
BACK HERE ANYWAY?

BECAUSE I LOVE HIM,
AND I'M CARRYING HIS BABY.

[exclaims]
WHAT?

DON'T BE STUPID, JOE.
YOU'RE SO PIG-HEADED
SOMETIMES.

JUST TALK TO HIM.

HIRING BRIAN BACK
IS NOT AN OPTION.

BESIDES, HE MOVED OUT
3 DAYS AGO.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE HE IS.
AND I DON'T CARE.

OK, YOU DRAGGED IT OUT OF ME.

HE'S IN ST. LOUIS.
HE'S APPLYING
FOR T.W.A. FLIGHT SCHOOL.

AND HERE'S HIS NUMBER.

JOE, I'M JUST TRYING
TO HELP.

WELL, IF YOU REALLY
WANNA HELP,
THEN STAY OUT OF IT.

WELL, YOU STILL HAVE TO
FIND A PILOT,

YOU BIG JERK.

I'LL FIND A PILOT.
I'LL FIND A GREAT PILOT.

[door closing]

SOMEWHERE.

YOU JOE HACKETT?

YEAH.

DEKE BRAVERMAN.

I HEAR YOU'RE HAVING
A LITTLE PROBLEM.

YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT.

I WAS A CAPTAIN WITH DELTA
FOR 15 YEARS.

MAYBE I COULD HELP YOU OUT.

TALK ABOUT A MIRACLE!

I--I--I DON'T KNOW
WHAT STAR BROUGHT YOU HERE,
BUT THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE A GODSEND.

WE DO WHAT WE CAN.

WHAT'S THIS?

PAIR OF WINGS.

SAW A NOTICE ON THE BOARD
WHERE YOU'D LOST YOURS.

GOT A WHOLE BOX
OF THESE AT HOME.

YOU MEAN,
YOU'RE NOT HERE
TO BE MY PILOT?

FOR WHAT YOU'RE PAYING?

[chuckles]

SON, I WOULDN'T
WASH YOUR PLANE FOR THAT.

[laughing]

HEY, THESE ARE PLASTIC.

[door closing]

ROY,

DRAW UP ANOTHER SET OF PAPERS.
I'M READY TO SELL.

DON'T TOY WITH ME, HACKETT.

I'M SERIOUS.

[laughs]

THIS IS TOO GOOD.

THIS IS TOO PERFECT.

SHH, SHH.
DON'T ANYBODY SAY A WORD.

I WANNA BASK IN THE GLORY
OF THIS MOMENT.

BUT THERE'S ONE CONDITION
TO THE SALE.

YOU GOT TO KEEP FAY ON.

OH, NO, NOT AMELIA AIRHEAD.

I MEAN IT.

OK, OK, OK.

[laughing]

SELL YOUR AIRLINE?

WHAT KIND OF
STUPID IDEA IS THAT?

ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR FREAKIN' MIND!

JUST WHAT DO YOU PLAN
TO DO INSTEAD?

I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT OPENING UP
A FROZEN YOGURT SHOP.

WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?

YOU WANT A BUNCH OF KIDS
THROWING GUMMY BEARS
AT YOUR HEAD

AND CALLING YOU POPS?

HELEN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OH.

YOGURT AND FLYING
REALLY AREN'T THAT DIFFERENT,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

WHEN YOU'RE FLYING,
YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE GONNA LIVE FOREVER

AND WHEN YOU'RE
PUMPING YOGURT, YOU...

OK, THEY'RE
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK
YOU'RE ANGRY AT YOURSELF
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FLY.

AND YOU'RE ANGRIER AT BRIAN
BECAUSE HE CAN.

YOU CAN'T HAVE IT YOUR WAY,
SO LIKE A SPOILED LITTLE BRAT

YOU WANNA TAKE YOUR BALL
AND GO HOME.

OH, OH, REALLY?
YEAH.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU

YOU COULDN'T PLAY
THE CELLO ANYMORE?

WELL, I SURE AS HELL
WOULDN'T GIVE UP MUSIC.

JOE, DON'T GIVE UP
YOUR AIRLINE JUST 'CAUSE
YOU CAN'T FLY THE PLANE.

YOU'VE JUST HIT
A LITTLE MID-AIR TURBULENCE.

IN NO TIME,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
CLEAR SKIES AGAIN

AND A STRONG TAIL WIND

AND--AND, UH...

[grunting]

I CAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE
FLYING METAPHORS.

THE POINT IS
IS THAT AVIATION IS YOUR LIFE,

NOT FILLING A WAFFLE CONE
FULL OF VANILLA SOFTIE.

I'LL PROBABLY HAVE
CHOCOLATE, TOO.

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'LL FIND
IT'S MUCH MORE REALISTIC

IF YOU MAKE
THOSE VROOM-VROOM SOUNDS.

VROOM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

T.W.A. TURNED ME DOWN.

THE REVIEW BOARD
SAID SOMETHIN' LIKE,
I WASN'T PROJECTING

THE CORRECT CORPORATE IMAGE.

SO I PACKED UP MY SKATEBOARD
AND HERE I AM.

WHAT ARE THESE?

CONTRACTS.

ROY WANTS TO BUY THE AIRLINE.

[scoffs]

T-THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.
THEY'RE SIGNED.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S SORT
OF THE POINT OF CONTRACTS.

IF YOU DON'T SIGN 'EM,
THEY'RE NO GOOD.

LAWYERS ARE SORT OF
OOTSEY ABOUT THAT.

JOE, YOU CANNOT
SELL SANDPIPER.

I MEAN, I NEED A JOB.

YOU GOT TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
I'M A SCREW-UP.

LISTEN, BRIAN--
NO, YOU LISTEN, JOE.
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT,

FLYING IS IN YOUR BLOOD.

YOU WERE BORN TO IT
THE WAY SOME PEOPLE
ARE BORN TO BE

POETS OR STATESMEN

OR DRILL PRESS OPERATORS
OR THOSE PEOPLE
WHO PUT THOSE LITTLE TAGS

INSIDE UNDERWEAR THAT SAY,
"INSPECTED BY NUMBER 42."

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I GET IT.

OR GUYS THAT SELL
FROZEN YOGURT.

HELEN CALLED YOU,
DIDN'T SHE?

WHAT GAVE YOU
THAT IDEA, POPS?

LOOK, MAYBE IT'S JUST TIME
I MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE.

OH, WHO'RE YOU KIDDIN'?
COME ON.

YOU'D BE MISERABLE
DOIN' ANYTHING ELSE.

YOU ARE A PILOT.

AND YOU MADE ME
WANNA BE A PILOT.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH FLYING
JUST LISTENING TO YOU
TALK ABOUT IT.

YOU USED TO SAY THAT FLYING

WAS LIKE KNOWING A SECRET
THAT NOBODY ELSE KNEW.

IT'S A GREAT SECRET, JOE.

KEEP IT.

REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE?

WE USED TO
RUN ALONG THE BEACH

WITH OUR ARMS OUT
PRETENDING TO BE PLANES?

I'D IMAGINE I WAS
AIRLIFTING SUPPLIES
TO THE KIDS IN BIAFRA.

AND I'D STRAFE
ALL THOSE WOMEN

WHO'D UNHOOKED
THEIR BIKINI TOPS.

I BUILT MY WHOLE LIFE
AROUND FLYING.

IF I'M NOT A PILOT ANYMORE,
THEN WHAT AM I?

YOU'RE A GUY
WHO'S GONNA BE
A PILOT AGAIN SOON.

YOU JUST GOTTA GET
YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE DOWN.

IF YOU DO,
YOU'LL FLY AGAIN.

IF YOU DON'T,
YOUR HEAD'LL EXPLODE
AND I'LL OWN THE AIRLINE.

I FIGURED THAT WOULD GET YOU.

[sighing]

THANKS FOR
COMING BACK, BRIAN.

WELL, I HAD NO CHOICE.
THEY WASHED ME OUT, REMEMBER.

T.W.A. CALLED.
I KNOW YOU GOT IN.

DAMN.

WHY DID THEY CALL YOU?

BECAUSE YOU PUT
MY NUMBER DOWN

AS THE PERSON TO CONTACT,
IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY.

AND THEY WANTED TO KNOW
WHY YOU DISAPPEARED.

WELL, IT WAS A LOT OF THINGS.

THEY'VE GOT THIS OBSESSION
WITH LONG PANTS.

MY HAIR WAS EXACTLY
THE LENGTH I LIKE IT,

FINALLY--
DON'T TRY TO GET OUT OF IT.

YOU DID A NICE THING.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

TAKEN BACK.

YOU HUNGRY?
STARVING.

HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT FROZEN YOGURT?

I HATE IT.
YEAH, ME, TOO.
LET'S GET A PIZZA.

OW!

OW.

HEY, HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

MY WINGS.

MUST HAVE GOTTEN STUCK
IN THE SEAT.

THEY'VE ALWAYS
BROUGHT ME GOOD LUCK.

WELL, NOW THEY'VE
BROUGHT YOU TETANUS.

YOUR LEG'S BLEEDING.

JOE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

FOR OLD TIMES SAKE, HUH?

[imitating engine sputtering]

FRENCH-CUT BIKINI AT 4:00!