Wings (1990–1997): Season 2, Episode 13 - Love Is Like Pulling Teeth - full transcript

HEY, FAY.

I HAD MY CHOLESTEROL
CHECKED AT THE SUPERMARKET
THIS MORNIN'.

LOOK AT THAT.
IS THAT GOOD?

325?

YEAH, IT'S
A LITTLE HIGH, HUH?

WELL, UH, JUST TO GIVE YOU
A FRAME OF REFERENCE, ROY,

A SMALL CAN
OF BACON GREASE IS 350.

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WELL, YOU MIGHT START
BY CUTTING OUT BUTTER.

JUST ON MY FOOD
OR IN BETWEEN MEALS, TOO?

JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN, ROY.



[seagulls cawing]

ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL
OF SANDPIPER AIR FLIGHT 26
FROM BOSTON.

HEY, HOW'D
THE FLIGHT GO, BRIAN?

FINE, FINE. HEY, LISTEN,
I GOT A GREAT IDEA.

WHEN THE GUYS COME OVER
THIS WEEKEND
TO WATCH THE GAME,

WHY DON'T WE DO
WHAT THE ISLANDERS DO
IN THE CARIBBEAN, HUH?

WHERE ARE WE GONNA FIND
BARE-CHESTED NATIVE GIRLS
IN MASSACHUSETTS?

ACTUALLY, I KNOW WHERE,
BUT THAT'S NOT
THE PART I MEANT.

HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

SINCE IT'S TOO COLD
FOR THE BEACH,

WE'LL JUST PULL UP
A COUPLE OF FLOORBOARDS
IN THE LIVING ROOM,

LINE THE HALL
WITH PALM FRONDS,
AND ROAST A WILD BOAR.

HOW ABOUT COLD CUTS
AND POTATO SALAD?

OK, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE
A LOT OF TROUBLE.



(Roy)
HEY, GUYS, GUYS.

ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT FOOD
FOR THE BOSTON COLLEGE
PROVIDENCE GAME?

(Brian)
YEAH.

HERE'S A LITTLE
PARTY-PLANNING TIP

THAT HAS SERVED ME WELL
OVER THE YEARS.

IF IT'S GREEN, IT'S TROUBLE.
IF IT'S FRIED, GET DOUBLE.

OH, HEY, UH, BRIAN.
BRIAN, GUESS WHAT?

MERRIWEATHER CALLED.

THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE
HE'S GONNA BE HERE
FOR THE GAME.

OH, PHIL MERRIWEATHER.
OH, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
SINCE YOUR FRAT DAYS.

YEAH, ME NEITHER.
AH, SURE HOPE
HE CAN MAKE IT.

[laughing]
OH, THE TIMES WE HAD
BACK AT BOSTON COLLEGE.

I WONDER IF HE CAN
STILL DO THAT WEIRD THING
WITH HIS EYE.

I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THAT MEANS,

BUT I LIKE THE SOUND OF IT.

OOH, HI, BABY.

MMM, HI, HELEN.

OH, JEEZ, GET A ROOM.

HELEN.
YEAH.

I GOT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING.

COULD I SEE YOU
IN MY OFFICE FOR A MINUTE?
SURE.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

[whooping]
I THINK I FOUND
A SECRET SPOT.

I HAVE A SECRET SPOT.

LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

HELEN, A SITUATION
HAS DEVELOPED THAT

I BELIEVE YOU AND I
NEED TO DEAL WITH
RIGHT AWAY.

WHAT'S THAT?

THIS.

[gasps]

JUST IGNORE ME.
I'LL GET MY PEN
FROM JOE'S DESK,

AND I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR WAY.

UH, THAT'S OK, FAY.
THERE'S NOTHING GOIN' ON.

THEN MAYBE
YOU'RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT.

WELL, THAT WAS A NICE,
LITTLE PICK-ME-UP,

BUT I GOTTA GET
BACK TO WORK.

OH, HELEN.
YES.

I--I ACTUALLY DID ASK YOU
IN HERE FOR A REASON.

YES?

YOU DON'T REMEMBER,
DO YOU?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT,
SO I GUESS, NO.

YOU KNOW, LAST NIGHT?

UM?

I WAS TAKING MY CAR IN
TO BE SERVICED,
AND YOU WERE GONNA...

PICK YOU UP.

JOE, I'M SO SORRY,
I FORGOT.

UM, I--I WAS GIVING
MY CELLO LESSON,
IT RAN LATE.

I GOT TO TALKING
TO BILLY'S MOTHER--

HEY, IT'S--
IT'S NO BIG DEAL, REALLY.

IT'S NOTHIN' AT ALL.
I--I JUST WAITED

ON THAT CORNER
FOR HALF AN HOUR.

AND IT ONLY RAINED REALLY HARD
FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

JOE, I FEEL REALLY TERRIBLE.

NO, PLEASE, DON'T.
FRED SCOGGINS DROVE BY.
HE GAVE ME A LIFT HOME.

OH.
WE HAD A NICE,
LITTLE CHAT.

WE SAT IN THE DRIVEWAY TALKIN'
ABOUT HIS HIP REPLACEMENT

FOR 46 MINUTES AND 11 SECONDS.

BUT IT WENT BY QUICK.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO SAY.

I--I'M SORRY.

YOU--YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SAY ANYTHING.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
OK. GOOD.

IT'S JUST THAT
WHEN YOU'RE DATING SOMEONE,

YOU KIND OF HOPE
THEY'LL BE THERE FOR YOU
WHEN YOU NEED 'EM.

I MEAN,
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

SO I'M TOLD.

YOU DONE MAKING ME
FEEL GUILTY?

(Joe)
YES.
ARE YOU SURE?

[stammering]
YES.

GREAT. I GOTTA GO.
I GOTTA GIVE A LESSON.

[laughing]

[whooping]
I KNOW THIS IS
THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME

TO BRING THIS UP TO YOU,

BUT MY DENTIST SAYS
I HAVE TO HAVE
THOSE WISDOM TEETH PULLED,

AND HE WANTS TO DO IT
ON FRIDAY.

AND I KIND OF NEED
SOMEONE TO PICK ME UP
FROM THE DENTIST

AND TAKE CARE OF ME.

NO PROBLEM.
I KNOW JUST THE GUY.

HE'S RESPONSIBLE,
HE'S AVAILABLE AND, UH,

WORD IS HE'S KIND OF
SWEET ON YOU.

THANKS, JOE.

ME? I WAS TALKING
ABOUT FRED SCOGGINS.

I KNOW.

WHY DO YOU THINK
HE NEEDED THAT HIP REPLACED?

[people chattering]

CAN I HELP YOU?

YES, I HAVE A RESERVATION
FOR YOUR FLIGHT 7 TO HYANNIS.

THE NAME IS TUPPERMAN.

MA'AM?

OH, YES, OF COURSE.
CAN I HAVE
YOUR TICKET, PLEASE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

NEITHER CAN I.

MY TICKET WAS IN HERE
THIS-- OH, HERE IT IS.

UH, DO YOU HAVE
ANY BAGGAGE TO CHECK?

[stutters]

NO. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

FINE. UH, A-A-AND YOU?

FINE.

WELL, UH, WE'LL BE CALLING
THE FLIGHT SHORTLY,

AND HERE'S YOUR BOARDING PASS,
MR. TOUPEEMAN.

TUPPERMAN. TUPPERMAN.

YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT
I SAID TOUPEEMAN,
BUT I DIDN'T.

UH, IT--IT DOESN'T SHOW
AT ALL.

[laughing]

FAY, HOW AM I GONNA TELL
WHICH--

WHOA!

[snickering]

HEY, ROY, CHECK THIS OUT.

HEY, JOE,
CAN I MAKE YOU A BURGER?

NO. HEY, DOES HELEN KNOW
YOU'RE DOING THIS?

NO. ARE YOU KIDDIN'?

[sizzling]

OH, BRIAN!

[imitating grill sizzling]

JOE, THIS SIDE OF THE GRILL
IS NOT ON.

LET'S SEE,
I GOT YOU WITH THAT ONE,

WHAT IS IT NOW,
8,000, 9,000 TIMES.

YEAH, ONE OF THESE DAYS
YOU'RE REALLY GONNA BURN
YOURSELF,

AND I'M NOT GONNA CARE.
YEAH, THAT'LL TEACH ME.

SO, UH, WHAT'S UP?

WELL, UH,
WE HAVE A 4:30 FLIGHT
ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

UH, WHAT TIME ARE THE GUYS
COMIN' OVER FOR THE GAME?

WHAT, YOU KIDDIN' ME?
THE GAME IS FRIDAY
NOT SATURDAY.

NO, YOU MEAN SATURDAY.
NO, IT'S FRI-- ROY, ROY.

WHEN'S
THE B.C. PROVIDENCE GAME?

FRIDAY NIGHT, YOUR PLACE.
BE THERE OR BE STUPID.

LOWELL, YOU CAN BE BOTH.

THEY CAN'T PLAY ON FRIDAY.

HELEN'S HAVIN'
HER WISDOM TEETH
PULLED FRIDAY.

OH, WELL, THEY PROBABLY
DIDN'T KNOW THAT

WHEN THEY SCHEDULED
THE GAME.

I'LL MAKE A CALL.
I'LL HAVE THEM CHANGE IT.

WHAT DO HELEN'S TEETH
HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?

I'M TAKING HER HOME
FROM THE DENTIST
AND TAKING CARE OF HER.

GET OUT OF IT.

HEY, WHEN YOU'RE IN
A RELATIONSHIP,

IT'S THE KIND OF THING
YOU DO ONCE IN A WHILE.

NO, YOU DON'T.
PAPER COVERS ROCK,
ROCK SMASHES SCISSORS.

GUY STUFF BEATS GIRL STUFF.

GOD, IT'S KILLING ME
NOT TO BE ABLE

TO SEE THE GAME
WITH YOU GUYS,

BUT I--I JUST WENT THROUGH
THIS WHOLE THING

ABOUT BEING THERE
FOR EACH OTHER.

HACKETT,
HERE'S YOUR WAKE UP CALL.

THAT '70s ALAN ALDA
MALE SENSITIVITY CRAP
IS OVER.

HUH.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THE GAME IS ON FRIDAY.

I THOUGHT
I CHECKED MY CALENDAR.

WELL, MAYBE YOU HAD
A LITTLE TROUBLE

SEEIN' PAST THAT RING
IN YOUR NOSE.

[Roy and Brian laughing]

LOWELL, IT WAS A JOKE.

WELL, IF YOU HAVE
TO POINT THAT OUT,

IT OBVIOUSLY WASN'T
A VERY GOOD ONE.

UH, JOE,
NOT ONLY ARE YOU
GONNA MISS THE GAME,

BUT WHAT IF
PHIL MERRIWEATHER
SHOWS UP?

YOU KNOW HE'S GONNA
DO THE EYE THING.

YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS
ANY EASIER FOR ME, BRIAN.
ALL RIGHT, JOE.

JOE, YOU DO WHATEVER
YOU NEED TO DO.

BUT I'M WARNIN' YOU
'CAUSE THESE THINGS
START SMALL,

AND THEY START
GATHERING SPEED
AND AFTER A WHILE

YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY
TOTALLY WHIPPED.

[Roy chuckling]
LISTEN.

LET ME EXPLAIN THIS
FOR THE RELATIONSHIP-IMPAIRED.

I AM TAKING CARE OF HELEN
BECAUSE I WANT TO
TAKE CARE OF HELEN.

IF YOU GUYS INSIST
ON RAZZING ME
LIKE A COUPLE OF 4TH GRADERS,

I'M GONNA TELL YOU EXACTLY
WHAT I TOLD THE GUYS

BACK WHEN MARY LOU HOPKINS
INVITED ME
INTO HER PLAYHOUSE.

I'VE GOT A GIRL FRIEND
AND YOU DON'T

I HOPE JOE DOESN'T THINK
HE WAS THE FIRST GUY
IN THAT PLAYHOUSE.

OK, HELEN,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST-- JUST
LIE DOWN RIGHT HERE

AND GET COMFORTABLE?

REMEMBER,
I'M HERE IF YOU NEED ME.

[mumbling]

IF THAT WAS THANK YOU,
YOU'RE WELCOME.

NOW I'M GONNA GO
FILL THE ICE BAG.

[grunting]

[shrieking]

SO, HOW YOU DOIN'?

[mumbling]

WHAT?

[mumbling]

A--A PILL? I'M SORRY
I JUST DON'T--

[mumbling]

OH, OH, A PILLOW.
YEAH, SURE.
COMIN' RIGHT UP.

HERE YOU GO.

[mumbling]

OH, YOU KNOW, HELEN,
I ALMOST FORGOT.

THE DENTIST SAID
YOU SHOULD DRINK
PLENTY OF LIQUIDS

AND GARGLE EVERY 2 HOURS
WITH SALT WATER
TO AVOID DRY SOCKET.

SO, UH, WHY--
WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT
BEFORE YOU GET SETTLED.

[grunting]

OH, AND AS A SPECIAL
FAVOR TO ME,

WOULD YOU MIND SAYING,

"YOU'VE DISHONORED
THE CORLEONE FAMILY?"

[mumbling]

HARRY, HONEY?

[mumbling]

OH, I THINK I GOT THAT ONE.

[phone ringing]

HELLO.
(Brian)
HELLO.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY
RINSING AND SWABBING

AND HAVING MORE FUN
THAN ANY GUY HAS A RIGHT TO,

BUT YOU GOTTA GET
YOUR FANNY OVER HERE, MAN.

BRIAN,
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.

YEAH, BUT--BUT THE GUYS
ARE ALL ASKING FOR YOU.

THIS IS THE BEST PARTY
WE'VE EVER HAD,

AND THE GAME HASN'T
EVEN STARTED YET.

YOU'RE NOT ROASTING A PIG
IN THE LIVING ROOM, ARE YOU?

NO, BUT THE NIGHT'S
STILL YOUNG.

[men cheering]

HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

OH, OH, OH.
IT'S MERRIWEATHER!

OH, MAN!
HE'S DOING THE EYE THING.

HE CAME THROUGH THE DOOR
DOING THE EYE THING.

REALLY?

AH! BOTH EYES!

HE'S DONE IT WITH BOTH EYES.
HE'S ACCOMPLISHED A DOUBLE.

NO! NO!
GROWN MEN ARE WEEPING.

THE CROWD IS GOING WILD.

[men cheering]

JOE, JOE,
YOU GOTTA COME BY,
YOU GOT TO--

[exclaiming]

YOU GOTTA SEE IT.
JOE? JOE?

BOTH EYES?

LISTEN.
BRIAN, I GOT A PLAN.

HELEN IS PRETTY OUT OF IT.

SO WHEN SHE GOES TO SLEEP,
I CAN SNEAK OVER THERE,
SEE THE GAME,

WATCH MERRIWEATHER
DO THE DOUBLE,

THEN I'LL COME BACK HERE.
SHE'LL NEVER KNOW I WAS GONE.

AH, A RELATIONSHIP BUILT
FIRMLY ON TRUST AND HONESTY.

HOW I ENVY YOU.

I GOTTA GO.

AH, HELEN. YOU LOOK BEAT.

HERE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
LIE DOWN HERE?

I'LL PLUMP UP YOUR PILLOWS,

AND YOU CAN DRIFT OFF
INTO DREAMLAND.

[mumbling]

UGLY?
NO, YOU'RE NOT UGLY.

THE SWELLING WILL
GO DOWN SOON.

[mumbling]

[mumbling]

[mumbling]

OH, OH, HUNGRY.

OH, YOU DON'T WANT
TO EAT NOW.

YOU'RE WAY TOO TIRED
TO EAT.

UH-UH.

UH, OK, WELL,
I-- I WENT TO THE STORE
AND PICKED UP SOME BABY FOOD,

SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO CHEW.

HOW ABOUT SOME NICE,
STRAINED CARROTS?

OK, HOW ABOUT
SOME STRAINED BEEF?

MMM.

STRAINED PEAS?

STRAINED RELATIONSHIP?

UH, NO-NOTHING,
NOTHING.

OH, WELL, HEY, LOOK.
IT'S TIME FOR A PAIN PILL.

UM, LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS AN INTERESTING
SIDE EFFECT.

THESE CAN MAKE YOU DROWSY.

AH, HELEN,
YOU'RE DRIBBLING.

[floorboard creaking]

[groaning]

[sighing]
DAMN!

RIGHT HERE.
WHAT IS IT?

[mumbling]

SURE.

DECEMBER ISSUE, RIGHT?
MMM.

I'M GETTING
PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.

AND NOW, IF I READ TO YOU,

WILL YOU GO TO SLEEP
LIKE A GOOD GIRL?

MMM-HMM.

WHOA, WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE ADS?

HAIR CREAM, BODY CREAM,
HAND CREAM, EYE CREAM.

ONE GOOD HUG
AND YOU'D SQUIRT
RIGHT THROUGH THE CEILING.

[laughing]

OK.

"WHAT WOMEN WANT IN MEN?

"RESEARCH SHOWS
THAT THE NUMBER 1 QUALITY

"WOMEN ADMIRE IN MEN
IS SELFLESSNESS.

[mumbling]

"OFTEN REFERRED
TO AS THE GALAHAD SYNDROME,

"A WOMAN FEELS MOST LOVED

WHEN A MAN PUTS ASIDE
HIS OWN PETTY DESIRES
TO COME TO HER AID."

[stuttering]
LOOK, HELEN, I...

[snoring]

THE END.

[floorboard creaking]

[floorboard creaking]

[floorboard creaking]

[thudding]

[men cheering]

[commentator chattering]

NOW OVER TO ABEL.
ABEL DRIVES THE LANE,

BLOWS THE LAY-UP,
BUT IT'S TIPPED IN BY HINTON.

[all cheering]

BOSTON COLLEGE ON
AN 8 TO NOTHING RUN.

IT'S A TIME OUT, PROVIDENCE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

TIME OUT.

OH, OH, GUYS, GUYS,
THERE'S BREWSKIS
IN THE FRIDGE.

GO, GO HELP YOURSELVES.

LOWELL, I THOUGHT
THAT YOU WERE GOING
TO BRING THE DESSERT.

I DID. IT'S RIGHT THERE.

DOLBA.

DOLBA?

I KNOW, I KNOW.

YOU DON'T EXPECT TO SEE IT
UNLESS IT'S
A NORWEGIAN HOLIDAY.

LOWELL, THAT JUST LOOKS
LIKE A BIG WAD OF DOUGH.

NOW THINK ABOUT IT, ROY,

I COULDN'T VERY WELL
PUT THE SARDINES
AND ROCK CANDY

ON THE OUTSIDE NOW,
COULD I?

[all cheering]

HEY, I KNEW YOU'D MAKE IT,
YOU BIG LUG.

HEY, WAS THERE
ANY DOUBT?

SO WHERE IS HE?
WHERE'S MERRIWEATHER?

AH, HE'S OVER THERE
ENTERTAININ' THE TROOPS.

HE'S-- HE'S KILLIN' 'EM
WITH THE EYE THING.

OH, HEY, MERRIWEATHER,
MERRIWEATHER, HOW YOU DOIN'?

HEY, CAN YOU DO THE--

[all exclaiming]

THE DOUBLE.

I WASN'T READY
FOR THE DOUBLE.

I'LL-- I'LL TALK
TO YOU LATER.

HASN'T HIS TECHNIQUE MATURED?

OH, YEAH,
THERE'S A COMPLEXITY
THAT WASN'T THERE

DURING HIS SCHOOL DAYS.
YEAH, I HAVE TO AGREE.

SO HOW'S HELEN?
UH, SHE'S FINE.

IS THERE MUCH SWELLING?

UH, A FAIR AMOUNT,
BUT THAT'S TO BE EXPECTED.

IS SHE IN MUCH PAIN?

SOME, BUT SHE'S GOT, UH,
DRAVIDAN FOR THAT.

DRAVIDAN?
THEY GAVE HER DRAVIDAN.
THAT'S PRETTY STRONG STUFF.

YEAH,
THEY GAVE ME THAT ONCE.
I GOT A REAL BUZZ.

I WAS LUCKY MY WIFE WAS
WITH ME WHEN I TOOK IT.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

SAVED MY LIFE.

ABOUT 3:00 IN THE MORNING
SHE FOUND ME PERCHED
ON TOP OF THE STAIRCASE.

I, HONEST TO GOD,
I THOUGHT I COULD FLY.

[man whistling]

[all laughing]

GOTTA RUN.

LEAVING SO SOON? WHY?

YEAH, WELL,
I JUST REALLY CAME
TO SEE MERRIWEATHER, ANYWAY.

OH, COME ON.
WHAT'RE YOU DOIN'?
WHERE IS THAT CHUCKLEHEAD?

[all exclaiming]

YOU GOT TO WARN ME
BEFORE YOU DO THAT.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
(Brian)
COME ON, GUYS.

HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.
HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.

[all exclaiming]

[male commentator chattering]

[floorboard creaking]

[phone ringing]

[groaning]

I'M HERE, I'M HERE.
I HAVEN'T GONE ANYWHERE.

HELLO.
JOE, DID YOU SEE THAT PLAY?

I JUST GOT HERE.

WELL, TURN ON THE T.V., MAN.
THEY'RE GONNA DO THE REPLAY.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

HELEN! HELEN! WAKE UP.
WHERE'S YOUR T.V. SET?

[mumbling]

IN THE SHOP?
IN THE SHOP?

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

IN THE SHOP.

[men cheering]

(male commentator)
...BY TURNER. GOOD!

[knock on door]
BOSTON COLLEGE NOW UP BY 2.

COME ON!
THE GUY'S ON STEROIDS.

PITUITARY CASE.

OH, GREAT, JOE.
YOU BROUGHT A CENTERPIECE.

[shushing]

YOU'LL WAKE HER UP.
I'M GOING TO PUT HER DOWN
IN THE BEDROOM.

[commentator chattering
on T.V.]

[door closing]

WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?

[all chattering]

HE TAKES HER EVERYWHERE.

I TOLD HIM TO GET
A WALLET PHOTO.

(Joe)
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

(Roy)
B.C. IS UP BY 2.

OH, GREAT.
HOW MUCH TIME IS LEFT?

ABOUT 5 MINUTES.

GREAT.

WHERE'S MERRIWEATHER?

HE LEFT.
HE HAD A SPLITTING HEADACHE.

I THINK WE MAY HAVE ASKED
TOO MUCH OF HIM.

[all cheering]

[man whooping]
HEY, HEY, HEY.
GUYS, GUYS!

[shushing]

GUYS, KEEP IT DOWN.
THERE'S A LADY ASLEEP
IN THE NEXT ROOM.

[all grumbling]

[Joe shushing]

WHAT'S THE SCORE?

HEY, SHH.
LOWELL, LOWELL,
KEEP IT DOWN.

YOU'LL WAKE UP HELEN.

UH, I DON'T THINK SO, JOE.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

I LOOKED IN TO CHECK ON HER,
AND SHE WASN'T THERE.

SHE'S GONE.

GONE?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN GONE?

DOES HE REALLY NOT
UNDERSTAND THE WORD,
OR IS HE JUST PANICKING?

SHE'S GONE!
HELEN IS GONE!

DIDN'T I JUST SAY THAT?

OK, COME ON,
WE GOT TO SPLIT UP
AND LOOK FOR HER.

WHO GOES WHERE?
UH, I DON'T--
I DON'T KNOW.

UH, PROVIDENCE,
TAKE THE BEACHES.

BOSTON COLLEGE,
TAKE THE NEIGHBORHOODS.

COME ON, LET'S GO.
COME ON, GUYS.

RO-ROY,
WE CAN'T LET HER
WANDER AROUND TOWN

IN THE STATE SHE'S IN.

HACKETT, THIS IS AN ISLAND.

SHE'LL COME TO
WHEN SHE HITS THE WATER.

WELL, IT TOOK US
A WHILE,

BUT WE FINALLY
FOUND HER ASLEEP
ON THE NEIGHBOR'S PORCH.

YEAH, SHE WAS CURLED UP
WITH THEIR IRISH SETTER.

I LOVE DOGS.

I USED TO HAVE A DACHSHUND

I LET SLEEP
AT THE FOOT OF MY BED.

HE NEVER LIKED MY 2ND HUSBAND,
GEORGE, VERY MUCH.

OF COURSE,
I DIDN'T EITHER.

YES, SO, ANYWAY,
I PACKED HER IN THE CAR,

DROVE HER HOME,
AND PUT HER RIGHT IN BED.

SO FAR, SO GOOD.

SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER
A THING ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

I THINK I'M HOME FREE.

JOE HACKETT.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
LAST NIGHT.

HMM, YOU BETTER STAND UP
AND TAKE YOUR MEDICINE.

UH, I SUGGEST DRAVIDAN.

HELEN, LISTEN,
ABOUT LAST NIGHT--
DON'T SAY A WORD. SIT.

WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT

WAS THE SWEETEST THING
ANYBODY'S EVER DONE FOR ME.

EXCUSE ME?
I READ THE PAPER
THIS MORNING.

YOU MISSED
THE BOSTON COLLEGE
PROVIDENCE GAME

TO PLAY NURSEMAID TO ME.

OH.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT
IN MY OFFICE.

WHEN YOU'RE INVOLVED
WITH SOMEONE,

YOU, UH, HAVE TO BE THERE
WHEN THE OTHER PERSON
NEEDS YOU.

YEAH, BUT HOW MANY OTHER GUYS
WOULD HAVE DONE WHAT YOU DID?

[chuckling]
OH, NOT MANY.

THANK YOU.

[groaning]

[sighing]

[stammering]
GOD, I FINALLY GET
A RELATIONSHIP STARTED

AND--AND LOOK AT ME.

I'VE ALREADY LIED TO HER,
SNUCK AROUND
BEHIND HER BACK,

GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT,
AND NOW SHE'S THANKED ME
FOR IT.

FEELS KIND OF GREAT,
DOESN'T IT?

YEAH.