Wings (1990–1997): Season 1, Episode 5 - There Once Was a Girl from Nantucket - full transcript

[seagulls cawing]

FOLKS, CONGRATULATIONS
ARE IN ORDER.

JUST MADE IT THROUGH
ANOTHER WEEK OF WORK

WITHOUT MY BROTHER
CANNING ME.

WHO'S UP FOR A CELEBRATION?

HEY, HELEN.

WHY DON'T YOU POP ON
YOUR PINK PARTY DRESS?

I'LL GRAB MY LOINCLOTH.

AND WE'LL HAVE A DATE
THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY.

A DATE?

THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'VE SEEN 'EM ON T.V.



NOW HAVE
ONE OF YOUR VERY OWN.

I CAN'T, BRIAN.
I HAVE TO PRACTICE.

PRACTICE? GREAT,
WE'LL HAVE A SCRIMMAGE.

I'LL BE SHIRTS,
YOU BE SKINS.

I MEANT MY CELLO.

BUT BESIDES THAT,
I HAVE THIS RULE.
I DON'T DATE PILOTS.

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING. WHY?

WELL, I'VE BEEN AROUND PILOTS
ALL MY LIFE

AND IT'S BEEN MY EXPERIENCE
THAT THEY ARE

ARROGANT, SELF-CENTERED,
AND JUST TOO DAMN COCKY.

BUT YOU'LL--YOU'LL BREAK
THAT RULE FOR ME, RIGHT, BABE?

WAS THAT YOU BEING
CHARMING, BRIAN?

'CAUSE I GUESS I GAGGED
AND MISSED IT.

DOESN'T DATE PILOTS?
THAT'S WHY I BECAME A PILOT.



HEY, LOWELL, HOW ABOUT,
UH, YOU AND ME GOING OUT

AND HAVING
A COUPLE OF BEERS, EH?

NO THANKS,
I GOTTA GET HOME.
WIFE CALLED.

I GOT 2 INCHES OF WATER
IN THE LIVING ROOM.

WHA-WHAT?
IS YOUR ROOF LEAKIN'?

NO, IT'S THE FLOOR.
I LIVE ON A BOAT.

HEY, FAY,
HOW ABOUT YOU?

UH, GOT ANY PLANS
FOR TONIGHT?

OH, MY YES,

THIS IS THE NIGHT
I THAW OUT FOOD
FOR THE WEEKEND.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT, HACKETT.
GOOD NIGHT, ROY.

HEY, ROY, UH,
HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME...

GOOD NIGHT, ROY.

YO, JOEY.
IT'S QUITTIN' TIME.

WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GO GET A COUPLE BEERS
AND SCOPE OUT THE CHICKAGE?

CHICKAGE?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, CHICKS.
DAMES, BABES, BROADS,
SKIRTS, HONEYS.

HONEYS, HONEYS.
OK, OK, I GET IT.
I GET IT.

AHEM. YOU SURE?
'CAUSE I KNOW AT LEAST
38 DIFFERENT EUPHEMISMS.

MORE IF YOU GET INTO
SPECIFIC BODY PARTS.

YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD.

I'LL TAKE A RAIN CHECK.
I GOTTA FINISH UP HERE.

AH, COME ON, JOE.
LET'S GO OUT.
LET'S HAVE A GOOD TIME.

BRIAN,
I'M HAVIN' A GOOD TIME.

YOU'RE WIPING OIL
OFF AN ENGINE COWLING.

LOOK, REMEMBER
WHEN DAD GAVE YOU
YOUR FIRST SCHWINN?

YO, MAGIC, HEADS UP.

YOU LOVED THAT BIKE SO MUCH,
YOU SLEPT WITH IT.

YOU COULDN'T STAND
BEING AWAY FROM IT.

WELL, THAT'S HOW
I FEEL ABOUT THIS.

FOR GOD'S SAKE,
I'VE GOT MY OWN PLANE,
BRIAN.

HIT ME!

I'M OPEN!

YOU KNOW,
NO OFFENSE, JOE,

BUT THIS IS THE WORST GAME
OF 1-ON-1 I'VE EVER PLAYED.

LET'S GO FIND SOME WOMEN.

YOU, UH,
YOU DO DATE, DON'T YOU?

OF COURSE I DATE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM,
A HERMIT?

I WENT ON A DATE JUST LAST...
WHAT MONTH IS THIS?

APRIL.
APRIL?

REALLY?

I GOTTA DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THIS.

ATTABOY, JOE.

SOCIAL LIFE.

WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING
I CAME BACK.

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR FUN
WHILE I WAS GONE?

ACTUALLY, YOU BEING GONE
WAS PRETTY FUN.

I KNOW
WHAT I AM GOING TO DO.

I'M GOING TO TAKE IT
UPON MYSELF TO FIND YOU
THE PERFECT WOMAN.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
MY PERSONAL PROJECT.

NO. NO. NO. NOT AGAIN.

THE LAST TIME
YOU HAD A PROJECT,
I HAD TO GO TO COURT.

OH, YEAH.
THANKS A LOT, MR. WITNESS
FOR THE PROSECUTION.

BRIAN, PLEASE,
I CAN FIND MY OWN DATES.

JOE, YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY
A GAME OF 1-ON-1.

HOW ARE YOU EVER GONNA
PLAY A GAME OF 1-ON-1?

A GAME TO 11. $100.

I'D LIKE TO
BUT I'VE GOT THE WHOLE GANG
WAITIN' OUTSIDE FOR ME.

UH, CAN YOU TELL ME
WHEN THE NEXT FLIGHT
FROM BOSTON ARRIVES?

OH, UH, YEAH,
THERE'S AN AEROMASS FLIGHT
DUE IN SOON.

ARE YOU MEETING SOMEONE?

OH, MY SON.
HE'S IN THE ARMY.

OH, HOW NICE FOR YOU.

MY 2ND HUSBAND, GEORGE,
WAS IN THE ARMY.

OR WAS THAT
MY FIRST HUSBAND, GEORGE?

YOU HAD 2 HUSBANDS
NAMED GEORGE?

UH, 3, ACTUALLY.
UH, BURIED THEM ALL.

THAT'S RATHER UNUSUAL.

NOT REALLY.
WHERE I COME FROM,
WE ALWAYS BURY OUR DEAD.

WELL, THANK YOU.

JOE?
HMM?

UH, YOU BURIED YOUR FATHER
WHEN HE DIED, DIDN'T YOU?

YES. WHY?

JUST CHECKING.

JOSEPH.

JUST THE MAN
I'M LOOKING FOR.

[people chattering]

LAST NIGHT I FOUND YOU
THE PERFECT WOMAN.

DIDN'T YOU LISTEN
TO A WORD I SAID?

JOE, I HEARD YOUR WORDS,
BUT I ALSO HEARD

YOUR CRIES FOR HELP
AND I WAS MOVED.

FORGET ABOUT IT.
YOU WASTED YOUR TIME.

NO, JOE, DON'T YOU EVEN
WANNA KNOW WHO THE DATE
OF YOUR DREAMS IS?

OOH, I'M CURIOUS.

HER NAME IS CINDY.

WELL, THAT CHANGES
EVERYTHING.

CINDY. JOE AND CINDY.
CINDY AND JOE.

I CAN SEE THAT ON TOWELS.

UH, JOE, CINDY IS A NICE NAME.

IN MY STEWARDESS DAYS,
I--I--I ONCE FLEW WITH A GIRL
NAMED CINDY.

I'LL NEVER FORGET HER.

SHE SPILLED A BAG OF PEANUTS
IN A MINISTER'S LAP.

THEN MADE THE MISTAKE
OF GOING AFTER THEM HERSELF.

IT'S NOW
IN THE TRAINING MANUAL

UNDER THE HEADING,
"DON'T EVER DO THIS."

[telephone ringing]

BRIAN, I'M GONNA TAKE
A PASS ON CINDY.

NO, NO, JOE, JOE, JOE.

I'LL TELL YOU STRAIGHT.

IF YOU DON'T
GO OUT WITH CINDY,

THEN HER BEST FRIEND GAIL
DOESN'T GO OUT WITH ME.

AND GAIL IS... ALL RIGHT.

YOU REMEMBER THAT FANTASY
I'VE HAD SINCE JUNIOR HIGH?

YOU'RE KIDDING.
I SWEAR.

YOU FOUND A 6-FOOT,
REDHEADED ORIENTAL GIRL?

AND SHE CAN COOK.
JOE, GOD LOVE HER,
SHE CAN COOK!

GIVE IT UP, BRIAN.
JOE HAS A POLICY
OF NO BLIND DATES.

WELL, MORE DATING RULES?
WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE?

JOE, DO YOU THINK
THAT I WOULD PUT YOU
IN THE AWKWARD POSITION

OF DATING A PERFECT STRANGER?
SHAME ON YOU.

THAT'S WHY I HAVE CINDY
WAITING RIGHT OUTSIDE.

SHE'S WHAT? ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR MIND?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

(Helen)
UH, CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE IT.

A 6-FOOT, REDHEAD ORIENTAL.

CINDY McGRATH,
JOE HACKETT.

JOE,

CINDY.

HI.
HI.

[plane engine roaring]

SO.

SO.

BOY, DO I FEEL
LIKE A 3RD WHEEL.

[telephone ringing]

BRIAN TELLS ME THAT
YOU'RE A PILOT, TOO.
THAT'S SO EXCITING.

BRIAN'S TOLD ME ALL ABOUT...

YOUR NAME.

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

OH, I WORK DOWN
AT THE BUY-RITE DRUGSTORE.

YEAH, I'M THE HEAD OF
THE COSMETICS DEPARTMENT.

THAT SOUNDS FASCINATING.
OH, IT IS.

I MEAN, THE RIGHT COLORS CAN
JUST MAKE SUCH A DIFFERENCE.

WELL, TAKE YOUR FACE.
GREAT BONE STRUCTURE,

BUT I COULD DO WONDERS
WITH A LITTLE BRONZER.

YOU KNOW, SORT OF,
A JULIO IGLESIAS
KIND OF A THING.

THA-- THANK YOU.

UM.

DO YOU HAVE
A LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM?

I HAVE THIS REALLY
AWFUL FEELING THAT
MY EYE SHADOW IS WRONG.

YEAH.

SURE, IT'S, UH, IT'S RIGHT
UP THE STAIRS THERE.

SO, UH, JOE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OW, OW, EAR, PAIN,
HURTS, HURTS. HATE THAT.

WHAT DID YOU
GET ME INTO?

OH, COME ON, JOE,
IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

BESIDES, SHE'S KINDA CUTE.

I SPECIFICALLY ASKED HIM
NOT TO DO THIS.

LOOK, IT'S ONE DAY
OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
NOW, GO.

WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT,
SHE'S NOT SO BAD

AND I HAVE BEEN
MEANING TO GET OUT.

SHE'S NOT EXACTLY MY TYPE
BUT WHAT THE HECK.

HACKETT, FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD
ABOUT CINDY McGRATH,

SHE'S PRETTY MUCH
EVERYBODY'S TYPE.

[laughing]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

IS THAT THE CINDY McGRATH
THAT LIVES OUT
ON MADAKET ROAD?

THAT'S THE ONE.

ONE WHAT?

JOE, LET ME SEE
IF I CAN FIND THE WORDS
TO EXPLAIN IT.

NO.

LOOK, HACKETT,

CINDY'S GOT
A CERTAIN REPUTATION.

A LOT OF GUYS TEND
TO DROP BY HER PLACE
ON WEEKENDS.

ARE YOU TELLING ME
SHE'S A PRO?

SHH! HACKETT.

RELAX.
SHE'S NO PROFESSIONAL.

BUT SHE'S UNQUESTIONABLY
THE ISLAND'S RANKING AMATEUR.

WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?

I HEARD SHE'S DATING JOE.

[laughing]

I AM NOT DATING HER
AND I HAVE NO PLANS TO.

YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS,
DIDN'T YOU?
YES, YES, YES.

I DID KNOW ABOUT IT,
BUT SHE'S TRYING TO CHANGE.

GAIL ASKED ME TO TRY TO FIND
CINDY SOMEONE WHO'S NICE,

DEPENDABLE, A REAL GENTLEMAN.

EXCUSE ME, JOE,
BUT I THOUGHT OF YOU.

I'M BACK, JOE. NOW...

ISN'T THIS BETTER?

MY EYE SHADOW
WAS COMPLETELY WRONG.
AND ME, A PROFESSIONAL.

WHOOPS,
I STAND CORRECTED.

UH, CINDY,

BRIAN SHOULDN'T HAVE...

I--I JUST DON'T THINK--

YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT ME,
RIGHT?

WELL, SOME OF THE GUYS--
YEAH, IT'S OK,
I'M USED TO IT.

LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

WELL, THANKS FOR NOT COMING UP
WITH SOME STUPID EXCUSE.

BELIEVE ME,
I'VE HEARD SOME DOOZIES.

WELL...

I GUESS IT'S JUST
NOT IN THE CARDS FOR ME
TO GO OUT WITH A NICE GUY.

CINDY, WAIT.

I DON'T SEE WHY WE COULDN'T
GO OUT TO DINNER SOMETIME.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
NO, NO, REALLY, I WANT TO.

UH, SATURDAY NIGHT OK,
ABOUT 8:00?

I'D LIKE THAT. THANKS.

UH, SO YOU'LL CALL ME?
SURE.

GREAT.

HERE YOU GO, UH, HACKETT.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED THIS.
WHAT IS IT?

CINDY'S TELEPHONE NUMBER.

I FOUND IT CARVED
ON THAT POST OVER THERE.

[chuckling]

HEY, BIG GUY.

DON'T LET WHAT THOSE YAHOOS
SAID ABOUT CINDY BOTHER YOU.

TONGUES WAG.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?

BRIAN, COME IN HERE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO THAT
EAR THING AGAIN, ARE YOU?

LOOK, I SAID I'D TAKE
CINDY OUT AND I WILL.

BUT YOU CAN'T KEEP
DOING THIS TO ME.
WE'RE NOT KIDS ANYMORE.

I MEAN, I HAVE A REPUTATION
ON THIS ISLAND.

I'M A BUSINESSMAN HERE.

I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD
TO WALKING DOWN THE STREET

WITH CINDY AND HAVING
PEOPLE POINT AT ME.

JOE, JOE,
YOU'RE OVERREACTING.

THEY'RE NOT GONNA BE
POINTIN' AT YOU.

THEY'RE GONNA BE
POINTING AT HER.

JUST GO AWAY
AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

HAVE FUN SATURDAY NIGHT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE,
AREN'T YOU?

YOU AND CINDY'S FRIEND,
THAT WAS THE DEAL, WASN'T IT?

NO, NO, NO, NO.
THE DEAL WAS THAT I FIND
A DATE FOR CINDY AND I DID.

BRIAN, YOU'RE FORGETTING.

IF I DON'T GO OUT WITH CINDY,
YOU DON'T GO OUT WITH GAIL
AND...

[feigning a sneeze]

I BELIEVE I FEEL
A COLD COMING ON.

GOD, YOU ARE MANIPULATIVE.

I LEARNED AT THE FEET
OF THE MASTER.

AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING?
NO, WE'RE ABOUT DONE.

JOE, ARE YOU FINISHED MOCKING
THE SANCTITY OF BROTHERHOOD?

FOR NOW, BUT STAY CLOSE.

LOOK, JOE,

I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY
FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE
ABOUT THIS,

SO I WANTED TO COME IN HERE
AND SAY THIS.

I REMEMBER HOW MUCH
IT USED TO HURT ME

WHEN PEOPLE REFERRED
TO ME AS THAT FAT GIRL
WITH THE CELLO.

AND THEN SOMEONE
LOOKED PAST MY WEIGHT,

THEY SAW THE REAL ME,
AND IT GAVE ME THE STRENGTH

TO JUST DO
SOMETHIN' ABOUT IT.

SO ANYWAY, THANKS TO YOU,

CINDY MAY NOT
BE CALLED A TRAMP

FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO COME
IN HERE AND SAY, NICE GOIN'.

OH, WELL, THANKS.

AND WHO KNOWS,
IF CINDY DECIDES TO GIVE UP
ON THIS REFORMING THING,

YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY.

[laughing]

OH, JOE,
DON'T YOU LOOK NICE?

OH, THANK YOU, FAY.

NOW, YOU AND CINDY
HAVE FUN TONIGHT.

I HOPE YOU REMEMBER
TO PUT A LITTLE SOMETHING
EXTRA IN YOUR WALLET.

FAY!

WELL, IT NEVER HURTS
TO HAVE AN EXTRA $5 IN CASE
YOU HAVE TO GRAB A CAB.

OH, RIGHT.

WHY, WHAT DID YOU THINK
I MEANT?

UH, NOTHING, NOTHING.

(man)
HEY, JOE.

WORD'S OUT YOU'RE
DATING CINDY McGRATH.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?
RIGHT OVER HERE.

SHOOT ME, JOE,
IT WAS A SLOW NEWS DAY.

HOW MANY TIMES
DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE
I AM NOT DATING HER.

SURE. RIGHT, HACKETT.
I KNOW A GUY WHO DIDN'T
DATE HER LAST WEEK.

TWICE.
SHUT UP, ROY.

SAY, BRIAN, UH,
DO YOU AND GAIL WANNA
COME BY AND PICK US UP

OR SHOULD WE MEET
AT THE RESTAURANT?

WHOOPS, THAT'S TONIGHT,
ISN'T IT?

UM, JOE, THERE'S BEEN
A SLIGHT CHANGE OF PLANS.

THINGS DIDN'T
GO SO WELL WITH GAIL.

APPARENTLY, I DRANK
A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT
THE OTHER NIGHT

AND GAIL'S HAIR IS NOT RED,

SHE'S NOT ORIENTAL,
AND SHE WAS STANDING
ON A BARSTOOL.

SO, ALL IN ALL, I'D SAY,
CINDY'S QUITE A CATCH.

IF I'M GONNA SUFFER
THROUGH THIS EVENING,

YOU'RE GONNA
SUFFER THROUGH IT, TOO.

NOW, I DON'T CARE
HOW YOU DO IT,

I DON'T CARE
WHERE SHE COMES FROM,

I DON'T CARE
IF HER NAME IS BETTY,
SHE'S MADE OUT OF VINYL,

AND HAS AN AIR VALVE
STICKING OUT OF HER NECK.

YOU'RE GONNA FILL UP
THAT 4TH CHAIR TONIGHT.

COFFEE, BRIAN?

HELEN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN AN HOUR?

UH, NOTHING SPECIAL.
PERFECT.

NO, FORGET IT, JOE.

SHE'S GOT
SOME INSIPID RULE
ABOUT DATING PILOTS.

OK, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

IF BRIAN DOESN'T GET
A DATE TONIGHT,

I HAVE TO GO OUT
WITH CINDY ALONE.

NOW, I RESPECT YOUR PRINCIPLES

AND I'VE ALWAYS
ADMIRED YOUR INTEGRITY,

BUT I'M ASKING YOU
AS A FRIEND

TO PUT YOUR RULE ASIDE
AND HELP ME OUT.

OH, THAT'S LOVELY, JOE.

I'M--I'M SO CHOKED UP
I CAN BARELY
GET OUT THE WORD "NO."

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
IF YOU WON'T DO IT FOR ME,
THEN DO IT FOR CINDY.

OR MAYBE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN
WHAT YOU SAID IN MY OFFICE

ABOUT HELPING HER
LIVE DOWN HER REPUTATION.

HO-HO, HE'S GOOD, ISN'T HE?

OH, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL GO, WHY NOT?

LOOKS LIKE YOU AND I
ARE GONNA GO OUT ON A DATE
AFTER ALL.

AND WHO KNOWS?
IF THINGS WORK OUT,
YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY.

[people chattering]

YOU KNOW, HELEN,
I WAS WONDERING,

WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER,

BEFORE I WAS A PILOT,
BEFORE YOU MADE THAT
SILLY RULE,

WHY IS IT YOU AND I
NEVER DATED ONE ANOTHER?

WELL, FOR ONE,
YOU'RE OBNOXIOUS.

OH, YEAH.

AND YOU WERE, WELL, HUGE.

THAT'S TRUE.

BUT I'VE GOTTEN THINNER.

(Helen)
OH, HERE THEY COME.
HI, GUYS!

HI.

(all)
HEY, CINDY, WHOA, CINDY.

[men catcalling]

I'M SORRY, JOE.
YOU WANNA GO
SOMEPLACE ELSE?

IS THERE ANYPLACE ELSE
WE COULD GO?

NEW HAMPSHIRE.

THIS WILL DO.

UH, CINDY,
MEET HELEN CHAPEL.
HI.

OH, HI.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

YEAH, I REMEMBER YOU
FROM THE OTHER DAY.
UH-HUH.

HAIR, HONEY BLONDE.

BLUSH, DUSTY ROSE.
AND LIP GLOSS,
TAHITIAN SUNRISE.

RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?

IT'S MY BUSINESS.

DO YOU LIKE
THIS NAIL COLOR?

[all exclaiming]

YES, THAT'S NICE.

YEAH, I WAS JUST
GONNA ASK YOU ABOUT IT.

THANKS, I TRIED ABOUT
14 DIFFERENT SHADES
BEFORE I GOT IT RIGHT.

I'M PRETTY HAPPY
WITH IT.

SO ARE WE.

HEY, CINDY, HI.
REMEMBER ME?

UH, GEE, I DON'T--

SURE, YOU DO. JIMMY.

(Jimmy)
REMEMBER?

YOU KNOW,
I WAS GONNA CALL YOU,
BUT I LOST YOUR NUMBER.

HOW ABOUT
GIVIN' IT TO ME AGAIN.

HEY, WHAT THE--
NO, THIS'LL JUST
TAKE A MINUTE.

I'M SORRY, JOE,
I WAS AFRAID SOMETHING
LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

LOOK, UH, JIMMY,
WE WERE JUST ABOUT
TO ORDER HERE.

A MINUTE, OK?
PLEASE, NOT NOW.

I'M GONNA CALL YOU
THIS TIME, I PROMISE.

COME ON, YOU REMEMBER
ALL THE FUN WE HAD
OUT ON STEVE WILSON'S BOAT?

THERE WAS YOU, STEVE,
THAT BIG BRUNETTE--

JIMMY, I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW.

YEAH, BUT WHAT WAS HER NAME?

OH, HEY, MAYBE
SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER, OK?

ARE YOU HER? NO.

SO YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT SHE DOES
OR DOESN'T REMEMBER,

AM I RIGHT?

ANYBODY KNOW WHAT'S IN
THE NEPTUNE'S BOUNTY?

JIMMY, WHY DON'T WE TALK
SOME OTHER TIME?

GREAT,
HOW ABOUT LATER TONIGHT?

OH, HEY, BUDDY,
LOOK--

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
I'M NOT YOUR BUDDY.

I'M JUST TRYING TO HAVE
A COUPLE OF LAUGHS
WITH THE LADY HERE.

WELL, CINDY IS WITH
MY BROTHER JOE NOW.

SHE DOESN'T LAUGH ANYMORE.

UH, BRIAN,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD--

YEAH, BRIAN,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD.

OK, LOOK,
JIMMY, JIMMY,

UH, WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HAVE
A SIMPLE LITTLE DINNER HERE.

OH, REALLY?

I REALLY WISH
YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT.

JOE DOES NOT
CARE FOR SARCASM.

HEY, JOE,
IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM,
JUST SPEAK UP.

OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
HE HATES THAT.
WHAT?

I'M SORRY, JOE,
I DIDN'T MEAN TO
CAUSE YOU ANY TROUBLE.

CINDY, CINDY,
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

THIS IS BETWEEN
JIMMY AND JOE.

YOU KNOW, JOE,
I'M GETTING A LITTLE BIT
TIRED OF YOUR ATTITUDE.

I'VE HARDLY SAID A WORD.

WELL,
YOU BETTER START TALKING.
'CAUSE THIS IS NOT GOING WELL.

OK, DON'T WORRY,
I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NOW, LOOK, JIMMY,
WE'VE HEARD
JUST ABOUT ENOUGH--

OH, JOE, SIT DOWN.

OK, YOU GUYS,
TAKE IT OUTSIDE.

OUTSIDE, COME ON.

[people chattering]

JOE.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.

NEED ANY HELP?

NO, I THINK YOU'VE DONE
JUST ABOUT ENOUGH.

BOY, TROUBLE JUST SEEMS
TO FIND THAT GUY.

YOU KNOW, UNTIL TODAY
I NEVER REALLY NOTICED
THE FAMILY RESEMBLANCE.

GOD,
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

OH, WOULD YOU
JUST FORGET IT.

THE PLACE WAS
FULL OF TOURISTS.

NOBODY YOU KNOW
WILL EVER HEAR ABOUT IT.

[bell ringing]

[laughing]

WELL, WELL.

IF IT ISN'T
THE SPINKS BROTHERS.

CAN IT, ROY.

[Roy exclaiming]

I BETTER WATCH IT.

WORD'S OUT AROUND TOWN.

YOU BOYS THROW A MEAN NOSE.

SANDPIPER AIR FLIGHT 26
TO BOSTON IS NOW BOARDING.

[plane engine roaring]

CINDY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

I'M LEAVING YOU, JOE.

EXCUSE ME?

LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES.
WE GOT IN OVER OUR HEADS.

AND LAST NIGHT
MADE ME REALIZE THAT
WITH MY REPUTATION,

I'LL NEVER MAKE IT HERE.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

CINDY, I--
PLEASE.

I KNOW THAT IT WOULD
KILL YOU EVERY TIME
SOME GUY LOOKED AT ME

THE WAY GUYS LOOK AT ME.

SO,

I'VE DECIDED TO MOVE TO BOSTON
AND GET A FRESH START.

BE STRONG. EVENTUALLY,
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.

WELL, IT WON'T BE EASY,
BUT I'LL TRY.

HMM.

THAT'S MY JOE.

WELL,

GOODBYE AND THANKS AGAIN.

YOU'RE THE FIRST GUY
WHO EVER TREATED ME
LIKE A LADY.

DON'T DO THIS, JOE.

JUST LET ME WALK OUT
OF YOUR LIFE.

I WANT TO REMEMBER YOU
THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

WELL, MAYBE
WITHOUT THE BANDAGE.

OK?

OK.

JOE, YOUR LIFE IS HERE.

AND BESIDES, LONG-DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK.

CINDY, I--

JOE, JOE,
YOU'RE RIPPING MY HEART OUT.
DON'T DO THIS.

DON'T FOLLOW ME LIKE THIS.

CINDY, I HAVE TO.

I'M THE PILOT
OF YOUR FLIGHT.

OH.

[giggles]

NOT EXACTLY THE END
OF CASABLANCA, WAS IT?