Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 2, Episode 15 - Bear Interrogation - full transcript
After interrogating Turbo all night at the precinct, Detectives Winters and Martinez reveal he had an airtight alibi on the day of Elliot Butler's murder sending the Bears back to square one until they stumble upon another important clue that Wood recorded on his cell phone during the pool party. Wood: Joe Dietl. Nelson: Ben Zook. Reggie: Rick Copp. Todd: Ian Parks. Detective Winters: Chad Sanders. Detective Martinez: George Unda. Danny Pendleton: Chris LaVoie. Turbo: Shannon Ward. Cable Guy: Brutus De Groot. Elliot Butler: Michael Gans. Luke: Alex De La Cruz.
How do you like the package?
Impressive as always, Eddie.
Oh, you mean the cable package! Love it. Love it.
Got those extra ESPN channels you wanted, Todd.
Excellent. Thank you, Reggie.
What about HBO? Nah. I wasn't in the mood for anal.
Morning. Morning.
Wood, we've been texting you all morning.
What happened with Turbo? Did the detectives get him to confess?
I don't know. They wouldn't let me in the interrogation room while they questioned him.
Well, how the hell are we supposed to find out what happened?
You could ask the detectives yourself.
Hey. Morning, civilians.
Hello.
You taste good.
Is this my house or a Chi Chi LaRue set?
Well, don't keep us in suspense, Detectives. Have you arrested Turbo?
No. But he did admit to having an affair with Butler but he didn't kill him.
But he was secretly working for him.
I don't get it.
Understatement of the year.
I'm new here. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to fit in, bro.
Elliot Butler hired Turbo to get close to Danny and seduce him and expose him as a cheat and hurt his campaign.
Baby, you're the best. I'm thirsty. You want some water?
Sure. I'll be right back.
That explains why Turbo was secretly meeting with Butler's campaign manager Mo Kapoor.
I had no idea Elliot was so devious. It's kind of hot.
The man's dead, Reggie.
I know that, Nelson. I mean I thought I knew everything about him.
After all we were fraternity brothers in college.
Wait. You never told us. You guys were in the same fraternity?
Yeah.
What was it? Alpha Gaya Fagga?
Again. New here.
Okay. Who's to say Turbo isn't lying to cover his own tracks?
Well, he wasn't even at the pool party. And he has an alibi.
He was training a wealthy client in Pasadena the whole time.
Why did he freak out when I approached him in the bathroom?
Because he knew you were onto him and thought you would expose him.
People trust their trainers with a lot of secrets
and if word got out what he was doing for Butler it could ruin his business.
Hey, we still have an hour before we have to get back to the precinct.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
You dirty dog.
You coming, Wood? I'll be right there.
We're not going to get anywhere in this case with Ponch and Jon leading the charge.
Unless the clues lead to a bathhouse.
Finally! Good one.
Hey, what are you looking at?
Oh I just recorded my threesome with the detectives for my Wood's webcam show.
Hang on. That's it!
Wood was walking at the pool party recording everything for his webcamming.
He must have gotten something.
Genius! Okay, do I have the smartest boyfriend in the world or what?
Well, except when it comes to his past relationships.
What a bunch of losers! Nelson.
Check it out.
Gee, Wood. It's too bad you didn't get any close ups of guys junk.
I did! Yeah, I see. I feel violated just watching this.
Is there such a thing as camera rape?
Yummy. Look at that one.
That's got to be at least nine inches. Ten inches!
And the girth! It's all about the girth!
It's like a giant mushroom head!
Do you three mind? There's nothing going on there. Shut it off.
No. Wait! Look. Right there.
Who's that?
I know that guy. That's Luke. I used to play with him on the gay rugby team.
He's following Elliot inside the house and that was right before he was shot.
We should talk to him. This looks kind of suspicious.
Excuse me, guys. While you sit around looking at pictures of dicks
I've actually got the real thing waiting for me in the other room.
And two of them! Oh, and one of them the meat still has its casing.
Hello...hey! You started without me!
So that means...
Yeah, I think so. He's not Jewish.
Impressive as always, Eddie.
Oh, you mean the cable package! Love it. Love it.
Got those extra ESPN channels you wanted, Todd.
Excellent. Thank you, Reggie.
What about HBO? Nah. I wasn't in the mood for anal.
Morning. Morning.
Wood, we've been texting you all morning.
What happened with Turbo? Did the detectives get him to confess?
I don't know. They wouldn't let me in the interrogation room while they questioned him.
Well, how the hell are we supposed to find out what happened?
You could ask the detectives yourself.
Hey. Morning, civilians.
Hello.
You taste good.
Is this my house or a Chi Chi LaRue set?
Well, don't keep us in suspense, Detectives. Have you arrested Turbo?
No. But he did admit to having an affair with Butler but he didn't kill him.
But he was secretly working for him.
I don't get it.
Understatement of the year.
I'm new here. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to fit in, bro.
Elliot Butler hired Turbo to get close to Danny and seduce him and expose him as a cheat and hurt his campaign.
Baby, you're the best. I'm thirsty. You want some water?
Sure. I'll be right back.
That explains why Turbo was secretly meeting with Butler's campaign manager Mo Kapoor.
I had no idea Elliot was so devious. It's kind of hot.
The man's dead, Reggie.
I know that, Nelson. I mean I thought I knew everything about him.
After all we were fraternity brothers in college.
Wait. You never told us. You guys were in the same fraternity?
Yeah.
What was it? Alpha Gaya Fagga?
Again. New here.
Okay. Who's to say Turbo isn't lying to cover his own tracks?
Well, he wasn't even at the pool party. And he has an alibi.
He was training a wealthy client in Pasadena the whole time.
Why did he freak out when I approached him in the bathroom?
Because he knew you were onto him and thought you would expose him.
People trust their trainers with a lot of secrets
and if word got out what he was doing for Butler it could ruin his business.
Hey, we still have an hour before we have to get back to the precinct.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
You dirty dog.
You coming, Wood? I'll be right there.
We're not going to get anywhere in this case with Ponch and Jon leading the charge.
Unless the clues lead to a bathhouse.
Finally! Good one.
Hey, what are you looking at?
Oh I just recorded my threesome with the detectives for my Wood's webcam show.
Hang on. That's it!
Wood was walking at the pool party recording everything for his webcamming.
He must have gotten something.
Genius! Okay, do I have the smartest boyfriend in the world or what?
Well, except when it comes to his past relationships.
What a bunch of losers! Nelson.
Check it out.
Gee, Wood. It's too bad you didn't get any close ups of guys junk.
I did! Yeah, I see. I feel violated just watching this.
Is there such a thing as camera rape?
Yummy. Look at that one.
That's got to be at least nine inches. Ten inches!
And the girth! It's all about the girth!
It's like a giant mushroom head!
Do you three mind? There's nothing going on there. Shut it off.
No. Wait! Look. Right there.
Who's that?
I know that guy. That's Luke. I used to play with him on the gay rugby team.
He's following Elliot inside the house and that was right before he was shot.
We should talk to him. This looks kind of suspicious.
Excuse me, guys. While you sit around looking at pictures of dicks
I've actually got the real thing waiting for me in the other room.
And two of them! Oh, and one of them the meat still has its casing.
Hello...hey! You started without me!
So that means...
Yeah, I think so. He's not Jewish.