Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Bear Movie Night - full transcript
When the Bears host a movie night at their house, Nelson plays matchmaker by inviting Jeremy Richards without warning Reggie, who is more interested in pursuing the next clue in the Elliot Butler murder. Meanwhile, Nelson is having trouble adjusting to living with Todd.
Do it. Give me your hand. Trust me. Look. It looks exactly like one.
Like I did when I was twelve. Right.
Hey. What do you guys want to watch for movie night?
Sci fi.
I've been jonesing for sci fi
eversince we went downtown the other weekend to see the building where they shot Blade Runner.
That was so awesome! I love our group outings.
That reminds me. I can't do our Pinkberry run tomorrow.
What the hell is this? You guys are going on group outings together?
What about me?
You're always cleaning.
You said I'm supposed to bond with these guys. So I'm bonding.
I said I wanted you to bond. Not become the human centipede.
Look, we don't want to exclude you from anything.
So what would you like to watch tonight?
Oh, I get to pick? Okay.
How about that devastating new documentary about being bi-polar?
That doesn't even make any sense. What kind of bear swings both ways?
It's not about bears you nitwit.
Bi-polar is a disorder. It's a mental disorder and I think maybe you've got one.
Who cares? It sounds like a complete downer. Forget it.
I got it. Prometheus.
Yes, I love that movie! We're done! Prometheus!
What are we watching? Prometheus.
Oh, I love that movie. You know what? Let me go put a shirt on.
No, no, no! That would be a really bad idea!
I'll go get the popcorn.
Oh my God! Jeremy! What a surprise.
You invited me.
Hey, guys. Look. It's Jeremy. Hey. Hi.
Reggie, look who's here. It's adorable Jeremy. He just happened to swing by.
So we're doing a movie night so go ahead and have a seat.
How did you know where we live?
Oh you know what I might have told him the address at the pool party...
Get over here.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Come on. Give him a chance. He's a quality guy. And he's hot.
I am not your project, Nelson.
I have zero interest in you fixing me up with a boyfriend.
Fine. But he's here already so try and be nice.
Fine.
Fine. Fine.
May I squeeze in? Sure.
Okay. Prometheus. So everybody comfy?
(Snoring)
I guess I'll turn that up.
So what did you think, baby?
I liked the movie. But gosh the volume? Did you have to play it so loud?
It's part of the experience.
You like it loud. I just love discovering all your little quirks the more time we spend together.
Okay. I think I'll go clean up.
Oh God I am so tired. I better get to bed.
I have to be at the office really, really early tomorrow morning.
Office? What office? You work from home. You're a writer.
You know I should go.
Let me show you to the door.
Hey look. I know you didn't expect me here tonight.
And I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable but I had a really good time...
Me too. It's just that...
I know you're not looking for anything serious
but I like you Reggie and if all we can be is good friends I'll take it.
Good night, Jeremy. Good night.
Now don't be mad, okay?
I can pick my own boyfriends, Nelson.
Now, if your little matchmaking mission is over
I have an idea what to do next about Elliot Butler's murder.
What? I thought we were at a dead end with that.
We know that Mary Ashley couldn't have done it because she was in Texas the weekend of the murder
and we know she wasn't working with Turbo because she fired Turbo when she found out he was gay.
All the President's Men.
Wait. What?
He doesn't know what that is.
If it's not on Nickelodeon forget it he's never heard of it.
Oh, you mean the 1976 Best Picture nominee starring Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford
about the Watergate break in? No I don't know about that. What's that? Tell me about that?
I stand corrected. Chill, pumpkin.
What does any of this have to do with Elliot Butler's murder?
Maybe we got it backward.
Maybe Danny is sleeping with Turbo and seduced him into shooting Elliot
so he would have nobody running against him.
What does any of this have to do with All the President's Men?
Well, we're going to break into Danny Pendleton's campaign headquarters
and look around and uncover evidence that might connect him to the murder.
No, no, no! Just hearing that makes me nervous, okay?
You know what happens to me when I get nervous?
Yeah, you get explosive diarrhea and we all have to leave the house for a few hours.
Not that. When I get nervous I have to clean.
Like this lovely art piece.
(mouthing) What the fuck is that?
(mouthing) I don't know.
I love the new piece, Todd.
It's really a great edition to the living room.
Thank you. Yeah, I like it too.
Wood forgot to make a lube run. Can we use this?
Sure.
Cool.
We're not having chicken tonight. No.
Like I did when I was twelve. Right.
Hey. What do you guys want to watch for movie night?
Sci fi.
I've been jonesing for sci fi
eversince we went downtown the other weekend to see the building where they shot Blade Runner.
That was so awesome! I love our group outings.
That reminds me. I can't do our Pinkberry run tomorrow.
What the hell is this? You guys are going on group outings together?
What about me?
You're always cleaning.
You said I'm supposed to bond with these guys. So I'm bonding.
I said I wanted you to bond. Not become the human centipede.
Look, we don't want to exclude you from anything.
So what would you like to watch tonight?
Oh, I get to pick? Okay.
How about that devastating new documentary about being bi-polar?
That doesn't even make any sense. What kind of bear swings both ways?
It's not about bears you nitwit.
Bi-polar is a disorder. It's a mental disorder and I think maybe you've got one.
Who cares? It sounds like a complete downer. Forget it.
I got it. Prometheus.
Yes, I love that movie! We're done! Prometheus!
What are we watching? Prometheus.
Oh, I love that movie. You know what? Let me go put a shirt on.
No, no, no! That would be a really bad idea!
I'll go get the popcorn.
Oh my God! Jeremy! What a surprise.
You invited me.
Hey, guys. Look. It's Jeremy. Hey. Hi.
Reggie, look who's here. It's adorable Jeremy. He just happened to swing by.
So we're doing a movie night so go ahead and have a seat.
How did you know where we live?
Oh you know what I might have told him the address at the pool party...
Get over here.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Come on. Give him a chance. He's a quality guy. And he's hot.
I am not your project, Nelson.
I have zero interest in you fixing me up with a boyfriend.
Fine. But he's here already so try and be nice.
Fine.
Fine. Fine.
May I squeeze in? Sure.
Okay. Prometheus. So everybody comfy?
(Snoring)
I guess I'll turn that up.
So what did you think, baby?
I liked the movie. But gosh the volume? Did you have to play it so loud?
It's part of the experience.
You like it loud. I just love discovering all your little quirks the more time we spend together.
Okay. I think I'll go clean up.
Oh God I am so tired. I better get to bed.
I have to be at the office really, really early tomorrow morning.
Office? What office? You work from home. You're a writer.
You know I should go.
Let me show you to the door.
Hey look. I know you didn't expect me here tonight.
And I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable but I had a really good time...
Me too. It's just that...
I know you're not looking for anything serious
but I like you Reggie and if all we can be is good friends I'll take it.
Good night, Jeremy. Good night.
Now don't be mad, okay?
I can pick my own boyfriends, Nelson.
Now, if your little matchmaking mission is over
I have an idea what to do next about Elliot Butler's murder.
What? I thought we were at a dead end with that.
We know that Mary Ashley couldn't have done it because she was in Texas the weekend of the murder
and we know she wasn't working with Turbo because she fired Turbo when she found out he was gay.
All the President's Men.
Wait. What?
He doesn't know what that is.
If it's not on Nickelodeon forget it he's never heard of it.
Oh, you mean the 1976 Best Picture nominee starring Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford
about the Watergate break in? No I don't know about that. What's that? Tell me about that?
I stand corrected. Chill, pumpkin.
What does any of this have to do with Elliot Butler's murder?
Maybe we got it backward.
Maybe Danny is sleeping with Turbo and seduced him into shooting Elliot
so he would have nobody running against him.
What does any of this have to do with All the President's Men?
Well, we're going to break into Danny Pendleton's campaign headquarters
and look around and uncover evidence that might connect him to the murder.
No, no, no! Just hearing that makes me nervous, okay?
You know what happens to me when I get nervous?
Yeah, you get explosive diarrhea and we all have to leave the house for a few hours.
Not that. When I get nervous I have to clean.
Like this lovely art piece.
(mouthing) What the fuck is that?
(mouthing) I don't know.
I love the new piece, Todd.
It's really a great edition to the living room.
Thank you. Yeah, I like it too.
Wood forgot to make a lube run. Can we use this?
Sure.
Cool.
We're not having chicken tonight. No.