Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Bear in Mind - full transcript
The bears have trouble remembering the dead guy in their bathtub from Nelson's birthday party the night before while Nelson's gorgeous young trick Hot Toddy starts acting suspicious.
I can't believe it.
He's really dead.
Come here.
Where are you going?
To call 911.
Are you insane!
if word gets out that we have a dead guy in this house
no ones ever going to come over and have sex with us ever again
Not from Scruff, from Growlr or craigslist.
Craigslist really? You still use that?
That's your big worry right now?
We've got a dead guy in our bathtub
and your worried about getting laid on gay hook up sites?
My friend Chip bought Sharon Tate's house in 1972
hasn't been laid since!
What kind of person dies at somebody's birthday party?
I mean, that's really kind of rude, right?
This is surreal. I can't believe he's actually dead in there.
Come here baby. I am so, so sorry.
Would you please stop doing that!
So his name was Jacob?
No, it was Jim.
But you called him Jacob.
What? No, not Jacob like the name
J Cub like J Lo
So he was gay!
Way to crack the case Sherlock Homo!
Well, did he come with you?
I didn't even know he was here.
I don't remember him at all.
You just can't get over the fact
that I ended up with the looks and the talent
and the non-contractual recurring role on Joey & Melissa.
Excuse me, but I'm a huge fan!
You know me from TV?
No, I just think you are really hot!
That's cool.
Who the hell was that guy!
If he was here, I sure didn't see him.
What about you Reggie?
So I figured if it works for Jennifer Hudson
why wouldn't the program work for me.
It's amazing. Today I had coconut curry soup for lunch
because I saved up so many points from yesterday.
You know, I've been standing here the last 20 minutes listening to you
not understanding one word you're saying
because you are just so damn cute.
Ooh, but so is he and I bet he talks normal.
Well I certainly don't remember him.
Can I make out with you?
There's this really creepy guy that's been following me around all night
and I want him to think I have a boyfriend
and there he is…is it cool?
Nope, never saw him.
I'm calling the Police!
The longer we wait the more suspicious it looks.
Alright, this is really starting to freak me out
I don't think I can handle this any more. Come here.
I'll talk to you later. I got to get out of here.
I have stuff I need to do today.You guys can handle it from here.
But, but, but
I should probably get going anyway and let you guys clean this whole fucking mess up.
Nelson, you have a hot ass by the way. I'll talk to you later.
Pumpkin, they might want to question you!
Call me!! God he's Hot!
Hot! Hot! It's decided he's hot right? He's Hot!
Well, that's kind of weird.
Why wouldn't he want to talk to the Police?
Because he's very busy!
He's a bartender at the Eagle.
He's got huge responsibilities!
He has to slice limes and order beer and stuff!
He's really dead.
Come here.
Where are you going?
To call 911.
Are you insane!
if word gets out that we have a dead guy in this house
no ones ever going to come over and have sex with us ever again
Not from Scruff, from Growlr or craigslist.
Craigslist really? You still use that?
That's your big worry right now?
We've got a dead guy in our bathtub
and your worried about getting laid on gay hook up sites?
My friend Chip bought Sharon Tate's house in 1972
hasn't been laid since!
What kind of person dies at somebody's birthday party?
I mean, that's really kind of rude, right?
This is surreal. I can't believe he's actually dead in there.
Come here baby. I am so, so sorry.
Would you please stop doing that!
So his name was Jacob?
No, it was Jim.
But you called him Jacob.
What? No, not Jacob like the name
J Cub like J Lo
So he was gay!
Way to crack the case Sherlock Homo!
Well, did he come with you?
I didn't even know he was here.
I don't remember him at all.
You just can't get over the fact
that I ended up with the looks and the talent
and the non-contractual recurring role on Joey & Melissa.
Excuse me, but I'm a huge fan!
You know me from TV?
No, I just think you are really hot!
That's cool.
Who the hell was that guy!
If he was here, I sure didn't see him.
What about you Reggie?
So I figured if it works for Jennifer Hudson
why wouldn't the program work for me.
It's amazing. Today I had coconut curry soup for lunch
because I saved up so many points from yesterday.
You know, I've been standing here the last 20 minutes listening to you
not understanding one word you're saying
because you are just so damn cute.
Ooh, but so is he and I bet he talks normal.
Well I certainly don't remember him.
Can I make out with you?
There's this really creepy guy that's been following me around all night
and I want him to think I have a boyfriend
and there he is…is it cool?
Nope, never saw him.
I'm calling the Police!
The longer we wait the more suspicious it looks.
Alright, this is really starting to freak me out
I don't think I can handle this any more. Come here.
I'll talk to you later. I got to get out of here.
I have stuff I need to do today.You guys can handle it from here.
But, but, but
I should probably get going anyway and let you guys clean this whole fucking mess up.
Nelson, you have a hot ass by the way. I'll talk to you later.
Pumpkin, they might want to question you!
Call me!! God he's Hot!
Hot! Hot! It's decided he's hot right? He's Hot!
Well, that's kind of weird.
Why wouldn't he want to talk to the Police?
Because he's very busy!
He's a bartender at the Eagle.
He's got huge responsibilities!
He has to slice limes and order beer and stuff!