Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Bear on a Date - full transcript

That meal

was a religious experience.

Well, they say...

the way to a man's heart is…

Well after a dinner like that,

you're going to get a little more than my heart.

We are so having sex tonight.

I think I'm going to cry.

This is so awesome.

I mean, it's so romantic and It's so wonderful.

And I can't wait to tear your clothes off and get you back to bed.



But there's one thing I have to get out of the way. Are you a killer?

What? What are you talking about?

Are you the one who poisoned J-Cub's drink at our party?

No, Nelson, no! I told you that before. Why don't you trust me?

I do trust you! I didn't even want to ask the question.

I just wanted to go to bed, but I had to,

because my stupid roommates don't trust you.

They're crazy! I trust you, you know what, and you're innocent.

Thank you.

I know you didn't poison your roommate. He was your friend.

I can't even believe I asked you this crap. Case closed! We're moving on!

Oh, that's nice. I like that.

Oh, wow!

I like where you're going with that.



You know where I'm going.

That's nice.

Okay, hello, yeah. I do have one more question before we start.

What comes to mind when I say the name Ramone Santiago.

Uh... owner of the Eagle.

I guess the word boss comes to mind since I work for him.

So, not cold blooded murderer? They made me ask you that.

Now, what are you trying to get at?

Well, Romano and J-Cub had a huge fight

the night before J-Cub was poisoned.

So, I don't know. Do you think maybe they were…

Doing it? Yeah.

Ramone sleeps with all his employees.

All of them?

Yeah, pretty much.

Though, J-Cub was different. A little bit.

Ramone was like obsessed with him or something.

He would call at weird times of the day and night and

texted him a lot.

Like a dozen times a day, or more sometimes.

Well I texted you

20 times yesterday.

22 actually. But, I wasn't counting.

That's different though. I like to hear from you.

Uh... J-Cub was scared of Ramone though.

And it's no secret that Ramone has a violent temper.

This one-time J-Cub showed me this text from Ramone.

That said he would never let him leave.

And if he ever tried to leave, he would hunt him down.

Did you tell this to the Police?

Uh, no. I haven't actually called them back yet.

I just haven't gotten around to it. But, I will.

Wow, you know,

nobody really saw Ramone at the party.

So I guess he, I don't know, he couldn't have been

the person who put the poison and J-Cub's drink.

Unless he had someone else do it for him.

What am I doing?

This is nuts!

Hey, you know what, fuck the bedroom.

Roommates are gone.

I say we do it here.

Nelson, hang on.

This talking about J-Cub kind of gets in my head.

And uh, kills the mood a little bit.

Is it okay if we take a rain check tonight?

Absolutely. You know, I'm sorry.

I can't even believe it brought up these stupid questions.

I'm dumb. It's okay.

You know what, don't worry about it.

We're going to get to the bottom of this.

Well good. Cause that was kind of where I was going to go here, anyway.

After, I work on your nips for a little while, until you want to scream.

Then hold you in my arms all night. Cause I'm a such a cuddle monster like that.

I'm sorry, did I just say that all out loud?

Yeah, you did.

Ah, well. I'm not sorry. That was an empty apology.

Well, uh…I'm going to go.

And thank you for dinner. Thank you.

I'm just going to get out of here for now.

I'll talk to you later.

I'll text you. Probably...

20 times.

You know, crazy me.

Well, I'll be counting.

I can't believe I just got cock-blocked by a dead guy!