Where Do You Live? (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - Episode #2.8 - full transcript
Are you Hai Shem-Tov
from Yarin's haircutting ceremony?
Can I get a selfie?
I'm the Bukharan Gal Gadot.
Do you like it
when people stuff their faces
when you perform?
What's special about you?
-We're an ensemble.
Dude, you surprised me.
That was killer.
Next month we have a reveal
for the entire industry.
I want you.
You can stay the night if you want.
On the couch.
Do Hussni all day long,
just don't lie to me.
Ephraim.
Ephraim.
Will this take much longer?
I have to go.
Yeah, be considerate of your son...
I'm his student.
I mean, I was.
You can go, Hai Shem-Tov.
I'm not going anywhere
until they tell me you're okay.
I'm fine.
He's not.
His blood pressure is high.
I want to take him to the hospital.
You can take yourself away
from my home.
I'm not going anywhere.
Ephraim.
If I must die, I'll die here.
Dramatic.
An acting instructor.
Well, it's on you.
What? No, no.
Hold on, hold on.
You're leaving?
-Yes.
He doesn't want to go,
there's nothing we can do.
But someone should stay with him
for another few hours
to make sure he's alright.
Hours?
How many hours?
You can go and come back,
that's fine too.
But if he wakes up
and sees I'm not here?
Then he'll see that he's alone
and no one cares about him
and he has no one in the world
at his time of need.
No one.
But that's okay,
it happens to everyone.
With the right pills it will pass.
Hai.
Hai.
Help me, please,
I'll sleep on the couch.
Look at these beautiful dishes.
And they're disposable!
The best for my event, sweetie.
-Of course.
The best are real dishes,
your challah ceremony at your house.
My house isn't as big as yours, sweetie.
She's stingy...
Yes, but if Hai is coming,
that's all everyone will talk about.
-Of course.
Rachel, your gel nails came out amazing.
I said to him:
Hai, you have to be there.
Rachel is like my mother.
My sister.
My sister is good.
-Of course.
Oh, my phone.
-How nice.
As famous and successful as he is,
my son always calls his mother.
-How sweet.
Hai. My dear son.
Mom, something happened.
What happened? What?
I'll be right there.
It's the evil eye.
I'm fine, it's Ephraim...
he passed out.
Oh, I thought something happened.
He's the acting teacher.
Alright, fine.
So when are you coming?
I don't know what to do.
I'm alone with him.
Listen, Hai,
you must get here.
Yes, you want to help your teacher,
that's very nice,
it's how I raised you,
but mother comes first.
Mom, apologize for me,
tell her I'll make it up to her.
Hai, you listen to me,
everyone's waiting just for you.
If you don't get here now,
you're not my son.
You can't do this to me.
You can't bail on my friend.
Mom, you don't even like her.
That has nothing to do with it.
I... I can't.
I can't let him wake up
and see that he's alone.
Come here for an hour
and then go back
and hold his hand.
Mom, Rachel will manage.
Tell her to get a Rabbi's wife.
Since when
do I do challah ceremonies?
Everyone is waiting just for you.
So, Hai, you be here.
When is Hai coming?
He...
My sister in law wants a selfie.
What's a selfie?
-A selfie is...
it's an Ashkenazi thing...
you take the dough,
a layer of watermelon...
Okay, Mom, bye.
Comes on easy, goes off easy.
Comes on easy, goes off easy.
The speed of light.
-Wonderful. -All done.
Gold.
Plated.
Ceramic.
Faux. -Yes.
Well, the light bulbs are economical.
But very expensive.
-Yes.
And Rabbi, if you don't mind,
I lowered the sign
so the congregants can see.
If it's higher,
they won't see it.
Of course, of course.
It's a wonderful contribution
to the congregation. -Thank you.
Thank you.
-Of course.
Let's not forget...
-Yes.
The prayer books
in memory of Grandfather.
Three languages.
Hebrew, Bukharan and Russian.
Bless your heart.
With vowels.
Tiny.
-Yes, but three languages.
You know, one book, three languages...
I feel that I...
want to give back
for everything you gave.
-Heaven forbid.
It's all Him.
And Margo said
I can come home tonight.
Thank God. Praise be.
I feel like I'm on parole.
If I make a mistake
she might toss me in solitary.
Remember,
the best husband
is a repentant husband. -Praise God.
You have to show Margo
that you took the fear of marriage upon yourself.
Yes.
And that you took
the fear of God upon yourself.
Wearing a kippah is an important deed,
it strengthens you
and all the People of Israel.
Don't forget you are Bukharan.
Never take it off.
I never forget,
but the kippah,
I don't think Margo will like it,
but I promise it will be
in my pocket all the time.
Wait. Remember,
the better you do in God's eyes,
the better Margo will find you
in her eyes.
Praise God.
-Praise God.
I heard it can cause issues with the hair.
No it can't.
Look at me.
No you don't.
No issue here.
No, no hair.
No hair?
Yosef.
Take your kippah off, show me...
No hair.
Because of the kippah.
You didn't know?
No.
There's a designer
I really want to go to in Tel Aviv.
I'll send you pics.
The one that made Beyonce's gown?
-Yes.
And Angelina Jolie
and Ilanit Levi (Israeli model).
Ilanit Levi's the best.
-I know.
Look how beautiful.
Grandma, tomorrow you'll ask Mom
to take you to the doctor.
Alright.
Beyonce's pretty.
Yes!
Listen, as soon as they leave,
you come get me.
Guy, we'll meet up there.
-No problem,
but I know nothing about gowns.
Just don't forget.
This one is stunning.
Not worth a shekel.
How's this one?
So not Bukharan,
but modest and respectful.
Long puffy glossy satin.
Just like Ninet's.
Mom's here.
What do I tell her?
What is she doing here?
Isn't she at Rachel's challah ceremony?
Don't worry,
I'll take her to the kitchen.
You scatter.
What am I, a thief?
Mali!
She'll know something's going on.
Say something, say something.
Don't worry, I'll talk to her.
What are you doing on the bed?
I changed sheets yesterday.
And why are you here?
I don't feel well.
Then I'll take you to the hospital.
No hospital,
they'll kill me there.
Take me to the doctor tomorrow.
Just you wait,
I'll tear you to pieces.
Ephraim,
I'm your student.
Hai?
Ephraim, how do you feel?
Old.
You're still here?
Yes, I didn't want to leave you alone.
You can go.
I'm not going anywhere.
Some devotion. I'm impressed.
But why do I get the feeling
you're not staying just because of me?
You can get back to the fan.
Esti.
Come in here.
I... I have to...
Sit, I made you a little something.
Okay.
Wow.
I'm very happy you're with Hai.
Can you influence him?
-In what way?
His wanting to stop performing at events.
Where is that coming from?
He brought us honor
and he made money, good money.
He should do
what makes him happy.
What makes him happy
is making lots of money.
I'm telling you,
he's lucky he even gets invited.
Do you want bread?
He's very talented.
What good does that do
if he doesn't have the brains for business?
Hai doesn't do it for the business.
It's what he loves, like...
like Shulah.
You don't have to force Hai
to eat Shulah, right?
I have to keep him away from the pot.
Then let Hai decide
which pot tastes more like home.
You're not eating.
Do you want more?
"Blessed are You, God,
King of the universe,
"Creator of living beings
"for all the things You have created
to sustain the soul,
"Blessed is He who is the Life of the worlds."
Amen and amen.
Amen and amen.
Well, are you done?
-No.
You want Daddy to help you eat?
-No.
But the food's getting cold, sweetheart.
Bekhor, don't you get it?
She knows that if she finishes her food,
you'll leave.
Children, did you know
that today's a special day?
Dad is staying after dinner,
he's not leaving.
On the couch, yes?
Of course.
It's what I was going to suggest.
On the couch.
Will he leave tomorrow?
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
only God knows.
Meanwhile he's here with us.
Okay?
Good night, sweet kids.
No, don't get up.
Leave it to me.
Bekhor, it's alright.
You're staying the night,
no need to put on an act.
I'm not.
This is how it will be from now on.
Sit.
Where's the dishwashing powder?
I found it, I found it.
Daddy.
Hold on, I'm coming.
What color is his brush?
-Green. It's there.
Hold on.
Green...
Green...
I'm coming.
Pick up,
she'll just keep calling.
Mom, it's not a good time.
Ephraim is weak.
I just wanted to ask
if I should bring Ephraim
a pot of osh palov.
Really?
Aren't you upset
that I cancelled on Rachel?
I'm glad you went to visit your teacher,
that you...
that he made you an actor
that Bukharans come to see
from all over the world.
Hmm... the convention.
Mom, I can't...
I can't perform
at the convention. I...
I'm sorry.
It's the night I'm performing
at the theater.
Like vaudeville?
For old people?
What convention at the theater?
You can do your vaudeville in the morning,
old folks fall asleep at night.
Then at night you'll perform
at the convention.
Mom, it comes out at the same hour
and it's not vaudeville.
I don't know who those people are,
but it's not as important
as performing at the convention.
The theater is my dream,
I won't give it up.
You're not going to the convention?
What, you want to end up like Ephraim?
A big actor,
living alone, no money.
You said I was doing a good deed.
Are you talking about me?
-Of course not.
You will cancel the vaudeville
for your mother.
This convention is once a year.
Then tell them
that I won't perform next year either.
The ingrate.
It's mine.
Show me what you got.
I let you.
Bekhor, here's a blanket.
It's chilly.
Bob the Builder?
-It's fleece, it's comfy.
It's okay, I'm not chilly.
Well, if you don't need me anymore,
I'm off.
Wait. Maybe you should
leave me the blanket,
it could get chilly later on.
Good night.
-Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
I have to go to sleep, I...
Yes, you work very hard at home.
And at "Foto."
As soon as I'll put my head
on the pillow...
I'll fall asleep right away.
-Yes, me too.
I'll put my head down and pass out.
Luckily you can fall asleep fast
because that couch doesn't look that comfortable.
No, it's pretty comfortable.
It's big enough for someone like me
and another half.
Look.
Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
Here, you see?
No problemo.
And if we get real close...
This is close enough.
Margo.
Margo.
Margo...
Abo, come here.
What are you doing on my side?
I like this, just the two of us.
No mess, it's quiet.
I thought you like a noisy house,
full of kids.
Abo, not anymore.
I took care of everyone.
Now it's time to take care of you.
I'm so happy to finally hear that
from you, my pretty.
We just have to wait
until Mali gets married,
things will be easier.
By the way, what was everyone doing
in her room today?
You want to talk about that now,
when we're finally together?
You'll only find Grandma
where there's fire.
There must be a reason.
Okay, you won't tell me, don't.
Good night to you.
Turn off the light.
I have my side.
Fine, what do you want to know?
The "Galia" vision is not wedding gowns.
It's more fashion,
more beauty, more Grammy.
Like this "Galia,"
Beyoncé wore it to the Grammys.
I want to try this one on too!
We're just waiting for Jay-Z.
Jay-Z?
Guy, my fiancé. Look.
Amazing.
But Beyoncé already wore this "Galia."
I don't think the guests on my side
watched the Grammys.
"Galia" has dresses
more suited to your statement.
What now?
Okay, try on the Beyoncé.
No. Jay-Z isn't coming.
Great, he'll be surprised,
as long as he comes to the wedding.
You don't want him to see you
before the wedding...
His mother found out,
so he said we cancelled
because she wanted to come too.
Who cares?
I don't know...
-What?
Let's call it off.
-No way.
You want to call off shopping,
just the two of us?
Okay, then can we try on?
You're both trying on?
-No. -Yes.
Yes.
Yes. -Medium.
-Give her that one with the sparkles.
Wow, you're so a bride with a statement.
Yeah, a statement that won't happen
any day soon.
That Hai is so messed up.
It's not just Hai, you know.
We both want to,
it's not the right time.
We still have things we have to...
It's pretty.
It's real pretty.
Okay, your turn.
Zipora?
Mali, how are you?
-Fine.
What are you doing
in our neighborhood?
I was in the area.
I thought I'd say hi.
I see you're busy.
Do you need a ride?
No, I'm doing errands in the area.
I'd rather take the bus.
-No.
I won't let you. Get in.
I'll take you.
Please, Malikush,
get in.
Here, get in.
Well? Are you ready?
-I'm trying.
Wow.
Wow.
I'm going to cry.
You're stunning.
-Wow.
I swear.
It won't happen.
It makes you look old.
It's a piece of nothing.
My Sabbath tablecloths are most festive.
The combination of two fabrics isn't good.
Yes, it needs more fabric.
It needs a lot more fabric.
And where's the puffy part on the bottom?
Malikush, cream puff gowns are passé.
This is about the family honor.
It has to be puffy.
Okay, are you done?
Thanks so much for coming.
I'm so happy you came.
Forgive me for not sending
a personal text invitation.
Forget about it.
-A mother's heart can tell.
Esti has to get to work,
so we'll do this some other time.
-Yes.
I...
work.
-You can go, Esti.
I'll help Mali pick out a wonderful gown.
We will help.
Dismissed, Esti.
Mali, I won't interfere
and I'll make sure Zipora doesn't either.
I'll be very quiet
and just tell you what I think.
Go, change the gown.
Hello, my good man.
Rabbi.
To what do I owe this honor?
Bekhor, no, no.
You didn't come to morning prayer.
I see you prayed here on your own.
No, I prayed at home.
Margo let me sleep at home,
so as soon as I woke up
I put the kippah on,
I prayed and God willing,
no promises,
I won't take it off ever again,
not even in the shower.
I bought an "Adidas" kippah,
it's water proof.
I was going to come by the synagogue later on
to bring you this.
A matte print,
it lasts longer
and the glass prevents reflections,
prevents dazzle,
it's the Mona Lisa of the Babas.
You'll be able to see it
from every corner
of the synagogue.
Bekhor, the kippah has brought you joy.
-Praise God.
And I rejoiced in my wife
after not having... rejoiced
for a very long time.
Now you're building a new shrine
for your marriage.
Thank God.
And in the shrine,
purity was very important.
A pure wife is a pure home.
You mean...
No, come on...
Me?
She finally let me come back,
now you want that too?
-Bekhor.
It's not for me.
-Bekhor.
It's not for me.
-I'm not trying to convince you.
You'll decide if God's deeds
are good to you,
if the path is good to you.
Evening prayer at 17:30.
Alright, Rabbi.
-Alright.
Rabbi, I didn't attach the sign...
-I'm in a rush.
But the sign.
I just have to attach it.
Are you alright?
-Yes, yes.
Hai, I'm fine.
Only death knocks at my door.
-Cut the pessimism, Ephraim.
Are you like my mom? Stop.
Hai, I got a letter from city hall,
I have to vacate the school
by the end of the year.
Vacate?
How can they do that?
See for yourself.
"According to Resolution 432B
of the planning and construction committee,
"Tel Aviv city hall."
I guess they want to build a skyscraper.
This country hasn't heard of
cultural real estate.
No, they can't do this.
Oh well.
I'll have more time to eat
your father's osh palov.
Now it's looking nice.
-What can I say?
You're wasted talent, Malika.
The gown looks totally different.
Mali, how about this one?
Pretty, right?
Esti, right?
She'll never wear that.
Beyoncé, a lot more dentelles.
Mali, you go change.
You don't want to stretch it
with your body...
Take it off.
Mali, are you alright?
Guy, you're making me so mad!
Have you lost it?
You're upset.
Did you find another groom?
No, I didn't.
My mom showed up with your mom.
Like they have this ESP.
For real?
And your mom is mine,
only Ashkenazi.
They won't let me be!
I don't want a gown!
I'll wear pajamas
and to heck with them!
Sweetie, calm down, breathe.
Who cares what you'll wear?
As long as...
"Who cares?"
Are you nuts? I care.
Since I was 5,
since my mom tried to set me up
with this Bukharan kid,
I've been dreaming of my wedding gown.
"Who cares?"
Then tell them to go home
and do what you want.
Yeah, like they'll leave,
they do whatever they're told...
How did they get there?
They're so cunning.
Luckily you're not like your mom.
Mali?
Mali, don't do anything stupid.
Listen, I don't want to fight.
Let's pick a gown that we all like.
This one. -That one.
Well, there's one gown
that no one picked.
Here. How about this?
Not bad.
We'll add some lace.
A big flower.
-No need,
it's fabulous as is.
Pack it up, I'm paying.
How much?
With the veil it's...
15.950 shekels.
What?
-Does it have diamonds?
No, Swarovski crystals.
Who's Swarovski?
I'll talk to him.
I know Russian.
No, no, here.
I won't have it.
We're good clients.
Look, I'm here
with my future daughter in law.
She's marrying my son.
We're buying another gown.
But not here,
we'll go somewhere else.
Mom, this isn't the market.
Everything's a market. Let's go.
-Thank you.
Alright, it's okay, come back.
Come back.
If you don't need a receipt
and you're paying cash,
I can do 8.000.
Malika, way to go.
-You see, Zipora?
We said 50/50, right?
-50/50.
So mine's been deducted.
Yours is 8.000, cash.
Cash.
Of course.
I'll go withdraw cash.
I'll come with you.
It's alright, sweetie,
this one's nice too. Sort of.
You think I'm taking it?
Listen, pack the first one I tried on,
I'll add the difference.
Okay. No problem.
The man didn't miss a lesson
in 30 years.
He won't survive without the school.
People are stronger than you think.
You should have seen him today.
The man was a total wreck.
I mean...
Hello, children.
This is better.
Seriously?
The door will stay open until the wedding?
What year is this?
We have to do what our folks say
because it's what their folks did?
Come on.
I get where he's coming from.
Well, I've had enough.
No more.
I want to live my life.
I don't want an open door,
I don't want the Bukharan convention,
I want theater
and then I want my own place
in Tel Aviv.
Smack in the middle of Tel Aviv,
and when I come home,
I want to see you there.
Yes. You and me,
a normal couple in a normal apartment
with the door open.
-Closed. -Closed.
A loft, no doors.
My own Che Guevara.
This is the living room.
Is that your partner?
-Her? Hell no.
A one-nighter. Come.
This is the bath-show.
-The bath-show?
Bathroom and shower.
This is the launderette.
The washing machine doesn't work.
We'd rather the next roommate pay
for the technician.
You know any laird technicians?
Is laird German made?
'Coz my dad has good hands.
No, sweetie,
I'm not into daddies.
I'll send you pics of technicians I like
from "LGBT Tech."
So this is home.
You want the apartment?
Look, it's the first one I've seen, so...
No, God loves ya, babe.
Sweetie, on your budget,
1.500 sheklat,
this is the prettiest it gets.
Chocolate?
-Sheklat, "papelinos."
"Papelinos..."
Besides, you're moving in with your girl,
if I wasn't saving up for MacBook Pro,
I'd never take in a couple.
Hold on.
It's about the apartment,
they wanna know.
What should I say?
It's a deal.
It's a deal.
You have a turtle ring.
I'm a homebody.
Hai should kiss your hands
and feet every day.
Yes.
I bet you're angry
because of the door, sweetheart.
It's tough not having any privacy.
No privacy?
I'm in the living room, you're in your room.
Yes, but you know,
leaving the door open,
it's childish at 25.
We want to talk about personal stuff,
about our future.
-Talking is important, it's good. Talking.
You know, Esti dear,
I was wrong.
A closed door is fine.
It's fine.
But only during the day
and when I'm home.
And what's he got to do here
when I'm not home?
I know it's hard for you
seeing me here with a man,
so I can move in
to a cute apartment with Hai.
Really?
My child, congratulations.
Congratulations.
Finally.
Why... why...
why didn't that ass Hai tell me, huh?
We're not getting married.
I want to get married,
but I don't want to divorce.
Divorce? Divorce who?
A jewel like you is for life.
Yes, Dad, but I want to check it out
before I get married
and I think it's important
I move in with Hai before I do.
Before? Before the wedding?
Live with Hai?
Are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
What will the neighbors say?
You will live with Hai,
where will you come back to?
Here, another apartment...
No, no, no, another apartment.
You are not coming back here.
You are not coming back.
What will the neighbors say?
What will they say?
My daughter's a whore? A slut?
Living with another man?
It always about whores
and sluts with you.
If I move in with him I'm a whore?
Really, Dad.
Yes.
Calm down,
we're just talking about it.
So this is what you talk about
when the door is closed.
No problem.
No more closed door.
Honey.
When did...
when did you get the thing?
The what?
The thing, when was it?
-Bekhor, I don't understand.
When did...
your period, when was it?
A few days ago.
Why are you asking?
How many days?
Five? -Five.
No good.
-No good?
Our rabbi was talking about purity laws.
You know, it's very very...
interesting.
It's an important commandment.
Many people abide by it.
Non-religious too.
Could you immerse
in the "mikveh" in two days, honey?
You know, two weeks, loads of fun,
two weeks, time to relax.
It's good, it...
it will make our relationship more passionate.
It's a commandment the wife observes,
but it helps the man
keep his libido in check, to resist,
and you know I...
I'm resisting not to send you back
to the couch.
Alright, maybe we'll apply
the purity laws next month...
We'll skip this month.
Mommy, I have to poop.
God is telling us something.
I think we'll wait two days after all.
I'm going.
Wait, I'm coming.
He has to poop...
What a disrespectful audience.
Couldn't they stay for 3 hours
until the end of the show?
They didn't come for you, bro.
They came to see "Funny Guy,"
Dennis the Menace.
Who are you?
At least stay until the end,
be a pal.
-Fine,
let's not forget we don't know
who was in the audience
and one good eye is enough
to get a kick and soar.
-Alright.
I feel like I got kicked in the head.
-In the balls.
"Two and a Half" trio,
can I get an autograph?
Wow, it was so funny.
I even heard people say
it was funny.
Hang on there.
What did I tell you?
Now they're spreading the word.
I'm gonna massage my ego on Facebook.
"Ofer, king of Israel
"Hai, Hai
"and Elad
"Ofer, king of Israel,
Hai, Hai and Elad
"Ofer, king of Israel,
Hai, Hai and Elad..."
You idiot.
Psychos.
I'm proud of you.
I didn't get a chance before,
there were eight people
who really had to see me.
Forget that. Come.
Wait, I want to show you something.
No. Come with me.
Come.
-Wait, I want to talk to you.
Hold on.
Do you mind if we use the room?
-Sure, I'm done here.
Thanks.
What are you doing?
-Having some fun.
Good night.
Nice.
Mr. Shem-Tov.
I signed the lease
on our amazing mansion.
Not exactly a mansion...
More a roommate apartment.
There's a huge room that's just ours
and this Tel Aviv style door
that we can close.
You signed?
You signed for both of us?
-Instantly.
As soon as I saw it
I knew it would be ours.
And the price is great too.
Hai, this isn't something you do on the spot.
You'll love this apartment, for real.
I can't.
Don't worry, you're not doing this alone.
We're doing this together.
Together we can do it all, remember?
I don't want all the grief.
Finally something significant happens
and "me and you against the world"
goes out the window?
from Yarin's haircutting ceremony?
Can I get a selfie?
I'm the Bukharan Gal Gadot.
Do you like it
when people stuff their faces
when you perform?
What's special about you?
-We're an ensemble.
Dude, you surprised me.
That was killer.
Next month we have a reveal
for the entire industry.
I want you.
You can stay the night if you want.
On the couch.
Do Hussni all day long,
just don't lie to me.
Ephraim.
Ephraim.
Will this take much longer?
I have to go.
Yeah, be considerate of your son...
I'm his student.
I mean, I was.
You can go, Hai Shem-Tov.
I'm not going anywhere
until they tell me you're okay.
I'm fine.
He's not.
His blood pressure is high.
I want to take him to the hospital.
You can take yourself away
from my home.
I'm not going anywhere.
Ephraim.
If I must die, I'll die here.
Dramatic.
An acting instructor.
Well, it's on you.
What? No, no.
Hold on, hold on.
You're leaving?
-Yes.
He doesn't want to go,
there's nothing we can do.
But someone should stay with him
for another few hours
to make sure he's alright.
Hours?
How many hours?
You can go and come back,
that's fine too.
But if he wakes up
and sees I'm not here?
Then he'll see that he's alone
and no one cares about him
and he has no one in the world
at his time of need.
No one.
But that's okay,
it happens to everyone.
With the right pills it will pass.
Hai.
Hai.
Help me, please,
I'll sleep on the couch.
Look at these beautiful dishes.
And they're disposable!
The best for my event, sweetie.
-Of course.
The best are real dishes,
your challah ceremony at your house.
My house isn't as big as yours, sweetie.
She's stingy...
Yes, but if Hai is coming,
that's all everyone will talk about.
-Of course.
Rachel, your gel nails came out amazing.
I said to him:
Hai, you have to be there.
Rachel is like my mother.
My sister.
My sister is good.
-Of course.
Oh, my phone.
-How nice.
As famous and successful as he is,
my son always calls his mother.
-How sweet.
Hai. My dear son.
Mom, something happened.
What happened? What?
I'll be right there.
It's the evil eye.
I'm fine, it's Ephraim...
he passed out.
Oh, I thought something happened.
He's the acting teacher.
Alright, fine.
So when are you coming?
I don't know what to do.
I'm alone with him.
Listen, Hai,
you must get here.
Yes, you want to help your teacher,
that's very nice,
it's how I raised you,
but mother comes first.
Mom, apologize for me,
tell her I'll make it up to her.
Hai, you listen to me,
everyone's waiting just for you.
If you don't get here now,
you're not my son.
You can't do this to me.
You can't bail on my friend.
Mom, you don't even like her.
That has nothing to do with it.
I... I can't.
I can't let him wake up
and see that he's alone.
Come here for an hour
and then go back
and hold his hand.
Mom, Rachel will manage.
Tell her to get a Rabbi's wife.
Since when
do I do challah ceremonies?
Everyone is waiting just for you.
So, Hai, you be here.
When is Hai coming?
He...
My sister in law wants a selfie.
What's a selfie?
-A selfie is...
it's an Ashkenazi thing...
you take the dough,
a layer of watermelon...
Okay, Mom, bye.
Comes on easy, goes off easy.
Comes on easy, goes off easy.
The speed of light.
-Wonderful. -All done.
Gold.
Plated.
Ceramic.
Faux. -Yes.
Well, the light bulbs are economical.
But very expensive.
-Yes.
And Rabbi, if you don't mind,
I lowered the sign
so the congregants can see.
If it's higher,
they won't see it.
Of course, of course.
It's a wonderful contribution
to the congregation. -Thank you.
Thank you.
-Of course.
Let's not forget...
-Yes.
The prayer books
in memory of Grandfather.
Three languages.
Hebrew, Bukharan and Russian.
Bless your heart.
With vowels.
Tiny.
-Yes, but three languages.
You know, one book, three languages...
I feel that I...
want to give back
for everything you gave.
-Heaven forbid.
It's all Him.
And Margo said
I can come home tonight.
Thank God. Praise be.
I feel like I'm on parole.
If I make a mistake
she might toss me in solitary.
Remember,
the best husband
is a repentant husband. -Praise God.
You have to show Margo
that you took the fear of marriage upon yourself.
Yes.
And that you took
the fear of God upon yourself.
Wearing a kippah is an important deed,
it strengthens you
and all the People of Israel.
Don't forget you are Bukharan.
Never take it off.
I never forget,
but the kippah,
I don't think Margo will like it,
but I promise it will be
in my pocket all the time.
Wait. Remember,
the better you do in God's eyes,
the better Margo will find you
in her eyes.
Praise God.
-Praise God.
I heard it can cause issues with the hair.
No it can't.
Look at me.
No you don't.
No issue here.
No, no hair.
No hair?
Yosef.
Take your kippah off, show me...
No hair.
Because of the kippah.
You didn't know?
No.
There's a designer
I really want to go to in Tel Aviv.
I'll send you pics.
The one that made Beyonce's gown?
-Yes.
And Angelina Jolie
and Ilanit Levi (Israeli model).
Ilanit Levi's the best.
-I know.
Look how beautiful.
Grandma, tomorrow you'll ask Mom
to take you to the doctor.
Alright.
Beyonce's pretty.
Yes!
Listen, as soon as they leave,
you come get me.
Guy, we'll meet up there.
-No problem,
but I know nothing about gowns.
Just don't forget.
This one is stunning.
Not worth a shekel.
How's this one?
So not Bukharan,
but modest and respectful.
Long puffy glossy satin.
Just like Ninet's.
Mom's here.
What do I tell her?
What is she doing here?
Isn't she at Rachel's challah ceremony?
Don't worry,
I'll take her to the kitchen.
You scatter.
What am I, a thief?
Mali!
She'll know something's going on.
Say something, say something.
Don't worry, I'll talk to her.
What are you doing on the bed?
I changed sheets yesterday.
And why are you here?
I don't feel well.
Then I'll take you to the hospital.
No hospital,
they'll kill me there.
Take me to the doctor tomorrow.
Just you wait,
I'll tear you to pieces.
Ephraim,
I'm your student.
Hai?
Ephraim, how do you feel?
Old.
You're still here?
Yes, I didn't want to leave you alone.
You can go.
I'm not going anywhere.
Some devotion. I'm impressed.
But why do I get the feeling
you're not staying just because of me?
You can get back to the fan.
Esti.
Come in here.
I... I have to...
Sit, I made you a little something.
Okay.
Wow.
I'm very happy you're with Hai.
Can you influence him?
-In what way?
His wanting to stop performing at events.
Where is that coming from?
He brought us honor
and he made money, good money.
He should do
what makes him happy.
What makes him happy
is making lots of money.
I'm telling you,
he's lucky he even gets invited.
Do you want bread?
He's very talented.
What good does that do
if he doesn't have the brains for business?
Hai doesn't do it for the business.
It's what he loves, like...
like Shulah.
You don't have to force Hai
to eat Shulah, right?
I have to keep him away from the pot.
Then let Hai decide
which pot tastes more like home.
You're not eating.
Do you want more?
"Blessed are You, God,
King of the universe,
"Creator of living beings
"for all the things You have created
to sustain the soul,
"Blessed is He who is the Life of the worlds."
Amen and amen.
Amen and amen.
Well, are you done?
-No.
You want Daddy to help you eat?
-No.
But the food's getting cold, sweetheart.
Bekhor, don't you get it?
She knows that if she finishes her food,
you'll leave.
Children, did you know
that today's a special day?
Dad is staying after dinner,
he's not leaving.
On the couch, yes?
Of course.
It's what I was going to suggest.
On the couch.
Will he leave tomorrow?
Tomorrow, tomorrow,
only God knows.
Meanwhile he's here with us.
Okay?
Good night, sweet kids.
No, don't get up.
Leave it to me.
Bekhor, it's alright.
You're staying the night,
no need to put on an act.
I'm not.
This is how it will be from now on.
Sit.
Where's the dishwashing powder?
I found it, I found it.
Daddy.
Hold on, I'm coming.
What color is his brush?
-Green. It's there.
Hold on.
Green...
Green...
I'm coming.
Pick up,
she'll just keep calling.
Mom, it's not a good time.
Ephraim is weak.
I just wanted to ask
if I should bring Ephraim
a pot of osh palov.
Really?
Aren't you upset
that I cancelled on Rachel?
I'm glad you went to visit your teacher,
that you...
that he made you an actor
that Bukharans come to see
from all over the world.
Hmm... the convention.
Mom, I can't...
I can't perform
at the convention. I...
I'm sorry.
It's the night I'm performing
at the theater.
Like vaudeville?
For old people?
What convention at the theater?
You can do your vaudeville in the morning,
old folks fall asleep at night.
Then at night you'll perform
at the convention.
Mom, it comes out at the same hour
and it's not vaudeville.
I don't know who those people are,
but it's not as important
as performing at the convention.
The theater is my dream,
I won't give it up.
You're not going to the convention?
What, you want to end up like Ephraim?
A big actor,
living alone, no money.
You said I was doing a good deed.
Are you talking about me?
-Of course not.
You will cancel the vaudeville
for your mother.
This convention is once a year.
Then tell them
that I won't perform next year either.
The ingrate.
It's mine.
Show me what you got.
I let you.
Bekhor, here's a blanket.
It's chilly.
Bob the Builder?
-It's fleece, it's comfy.
It's okay, I'm not chilly.
Well, if you don't need me anymore,
I'm off.
Wait. Maybe you should
leave me the blanket,
it could get chilly later on.
Good night.
-Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
I have to go to sleep, I...
Yes, you work very hard at home.
And at "Foto."
As soon as I'll put my head
on the pillow...
I'll fall asleep right away.
-Yes, me too.
I'll put my head down and pass out.
Luckily you can fall asleep fast
because that couch doesn't look that comfortable.
No, it's pretty comfortable.
It's big enough for someone like me
and another half.
Look.
Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
Here, you see?
No problemo.
And if we get real close...
This is close enough.
Margo.
Margo.
Margo...
Abo, come here.
What are you doing on my side?
I like this, just the two of us.
No mess, it's quiet.
I thought you like a noisy house,
full of kids.
Abo, not anymore.
I took care of everyone.
Now it's time to take care of you.
I'm so happy to finally hear that
from you, my pretty.
We just have to wait
until Mali gets married,
things will be easier.
By the way, what was everyone doing
in her room today?
You want to talk about that now,
when we're finally together?
You'll only find Grandma
where there's fire.
There must be a reason.
Okay, you won't tell me, don't.
Good night to you.
Turn off the light.
I have my side.
Fine, what do you want to know?
The "Galia" vision is not wedding gowns.
It's more fashion,
more beauty, more Grammy.
Like this "Galia,"
Beyoncé wore it to the Grammys.
I want to try this one on too!
We're just waiting for Jay-Z.
Jay-Z?
Guy, my fiancé. Look.
Amazing.
But Beyoncé already wore this "Galia."
I don't think the guests on my side
watched the Grammys.
"Galia" has dresses
more suited to your statement.
What now?
Okay, try on the Beyoncé.
No. Jay-Z isn't coming.
Great, he'll be surprised,
as long as he comes to the wedding.
You don't want him to see you
before the wedding...
His mother found out,
so he said we cancelled
because she wanted to come too.
Who cares?
I don't know...
-What?
Let's call it off.
-No way.
You want to call off shopping,
just the two of us?
Okay, then can we try on?
You're both trying on?
-No. -Yes.
Yes.
Yes. -Medium.
-Give her that one with the sparkles.
Wow, you're so a bride with a statement.
Yeah, a statement that won't happen
any day soon.
That Hai is so messed up.
It's not just Hai, you know.
We both want to,
it's not the right time.
We still have things we have to...
It's pretty.
It's real pretty.
Okay, your turn.
Zipora?
Mali, how are you?
-Fine.
What are you doing
in our neighborhood?
I was in the area.
I thought I'd say hi.
I see you're busy.
Do you need a ride?
No, I'm doing errands in the area.
I'd rather take the bus.
-No.
I won't let you. Get in.
I'll take you.
Please, Malikush,
get in.
Here, get in.
Well? Are you ready?
-I'm trying.
Wow.
Wow.
I'm going to cry.
You're stunning.
-Wow.
I swear.
It won't happen.
It makes you look old.
It's a piece of nothing.
My Sabbath tablecloths are most festive.
The combination of two fabrics isn't good.
Yes, it needs more fabric.
It needs a lot more fabric.
And where's the puffy part on the bottom?
Malikush, cream puff gowns are passé.
This is about the family honor.
It has to be puffy.
Okay, are you done?
Thanks so much for coming.
I'm so happy you came.
Forgive me for not sending
a personal text invitation.
Forget about it.
-A mother's heart can tell.
Esti has to get to work,
so we'll do this some other time.
-Yes.
I...
work.
-You can go, Esti.
I'll help Mali pick out a wonderful gown.
We will help.
Dismissed, Esti.
Mali, I won't interfere
and I'll make sure Zipora doesn't either.
I'll be very quiet
and just tell you what I think.
Go, change the gown.
Hello, my good man.
Rabbi.
To what do I owe this honor?
Bekhor, no, no.
You didn't come to morning prayer.
I see you prayed here on your own.
No, I prayed at home.
Margo let me sleep at home,
so as soon as I woke up
I put the kippah on,
I prayed and God willing,
no promises,
I won't take it off ever again,
not even in the shower.
I bought an "Adidas" kippah,
it's water proof.
I was going to come by the synagogue later on
to bring you this.
A matte print,
it lasts longer
and the glass prevents reflections,
prevents dazzle,
it's the Mona Lisa of the Babas.
You'll be able to see it
from every corner
of the synagogue.
Bekhor, the kippah has brought you joy.
-Praise God.
And I rejoiced in my wife
after not having... rejoiced
for a very long time.
Now you're building a new shrine
for your marriage.
Thank God.
And in the shrine,
purity was very important.
A pure wife is a pure home.
You mean...
No, come on...
Me?
She finally let me come back,
now you want that too?
-Bekhor.
It's not for me.
-Bekhor.
It's not for me.
-I'm not trying to convince you.
You'll decide if God's deeds
are good to you,
if the path is good to you.
Evening prayer at 17:30.
Alright, Rabbi.
-Alright.
Rabbi, I didn't attach the sign...
-I'm in a rush.
But the sign.
I just have to attach it.
Are you alright?
-Yes, yes.
Hai, I'm fine.
Only death knocks at my door.
-Cut the pessimism, Ephraim.
Are you like my mom? Stop.
Hai, I got a letter from city hall,
I have to vacate the school
by the end of the year.
Vacate?
How can they do that?
See for yourself.
"According to Resolution 432B
of the planning and construction committee,
"Tel Aviv city hall."
I guess they want to build a skyscraper.
This country hasn't heard of
cultural real estate.
No, they can't do this.
Oh well.
I'll have more time to eat
your father's osh palov.
Now it's looking nice.
-What can I say?
You're wasted talent, Malika.
The gown looks totally different.
Mali, how about this one?
Pretty, right?
Esti, right?
She'll never wear that.
Beyoncé, a lot more dentelles.
Mali, you go change.
You don't want to stretch it
with your body...
Take it off.
Mali, are you alright?
Guy, you're making me so mad!
Have you lost it?
You're upset.
Did you find another groom?
No, I didn't.
My mom showed up with your mom.
Like they have this ESP.
For real?
And your mom is mine,
only Ashkenazi.
They won't let me be!
I don't want a gown!
I'll wear pajamas
and to heck with them!
Sweetie, calm down, breathe.
Who cares what you'll wear?
As long as...
"Who cares?"
Are you nuts? I care.
Since I was 5,
since my mom tried to set me up
with this Bukharan kid,
I've been dreaming of my wedding gown.
"Who cares?"
Then tell them to go home
and do what you want.
Yeah, like they'll leave,
they do whatever they're told...
How did they get there?
They're so cunning.
Luckily you're not like your mom.
Mali?
Mali, don't do anything stupid.
Listen, I don't want to fight.
Let's pick a gown that we all like.
This one. -That one.
Well, there's one gown
that no one picked.
Here. How about this?
Not bad.
We'll add some lace.
A big flower.
-No need,
it's fabulous as is.
Pack it up, I'm paying.
How much?
With the veil it's...
15.950 shekels.
What?
-Does it have diamonds?
No, Swarovski crystals.
Who's Swarovski?
I'll talk to him.
I know Russian.
No, no, here.
I won't have it.
We're good clients.
Look, I'm here
with my future daughter in law.
She's marrying my son.
We're buying another gown.
But not here,
we'll go somewhere else.
Mom, this isn't the market.
Everything's a market. Let's go.
-Thank you.
Alright, it's okay, come back.
Come back.
If you don't need a receipt
and you're paying cash,
I can do 8.000.
Malika, way to go.
-You see, Zipora?
We said 50/50, right?
-50/50.
So mine's been deducted.
Yours is 8.000, cash.
Cash.
Of course.
I'll go withdraw cash.
I'll come with you.
It's alright, sweetie,
this one's nice too. Sort of.
You think I'm taking it?
Listen, pack the first one I tried on,
I'll add the difference.
Okay. No problem.
The man didn't miss a lesson
in 30 years.
He won't survive without the school.
People are stronger than you think.
You should have seen him today.
The man was a total wreck.
I mean...
Hello, children.
This is better.
Seriously?
The door will stay open until the wedding?
What year is this?
We have to do what our folks say
because it's what their folks did?
Come on.
I get where he's coming from.
Well, I've had enough.
No more.
I want to live my life.
I don't want an open door,
I don't want the Bukharan convention,
I want theater
and then I want my own place
in Tel Aviv.
Smack in the middle of Tel Aviv,
and when I come home,
I want to see you there.
Yes. You and me,
a normal couple in a normal apartment
with the door open.
-Closed. -Closed.
A loft, no doors.
My own Che Guevara.
This is the living room.
Is that your partner?
-Her? Hell no.
A one-nighter. Come.
This is the bath-show.
-The bath-show?
Bathroom and shower.
This is the launderette.
The washing machine doesn't work.
We'd rather the next roommate pay
for the technician.
You know any laird technicians?
Is laird German made?
'Coz my dad has good hands.
No, sweetie,
I'm not into daddies.
I'll send you pics of technicians I like
from "LGBT Tech."
So this is home.
You want the apartment?
Look, it's the first one I've seen, so...
No, God loves ya, babe.
Sweetie, on your budget,
1.500 sheklat,
this is the prettiest it gets.
Chocolate?
-Sheklat, "papelinos."
"Papelinos..."
Besides, you're moving in with your girl,
if I wasn't saving up for MacBook Pro,
I'd never take in a couple.
Hold on.
It's about the apartment,
they wanna know.
What should I say?
It's a deal.
It's a deal.
You have a turtle ring.
I'm a homebody.
Hai should kiss your hands
and feet every day.
Yes.
I bet you're angry
because of the door, sweetheart.
It's tough not having any privacy.
No privacy?
I'm in the living room, you're in your room.
Yes, but you know,
leaving the door open,
it's childish at 25.
We want to talk about personal stuff,
about our future.
-Talking is important, it's good. Talking.
You know, Esti dear,
I was wrong.
A closed door is fine.
It's fine.
But only during the day
and when I'm home.
And what's he got to do here
when I'm not home?
I know it's hard for you
seeing me here with a man,
so I can move in
to a cute apartment with Hai.
Really?
My child, congratulations.
Congratulations.
Finally.
Why... why...
why didn't that ass Hai tell me, huh?
We're not getting married.
I want to get married,
but I don't want to divorce.
Divorce? Divorce who?
A jewel like you is for life.
Yes, Dad, but I want to check it out
before I get married
and I think it's important
I move in with Hai before I do.
Before? Before the wedding?
Live with Hai?
Are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
What will the neighbors say?
You will live with Hai,
where will you come back to?
Here, another apartment...
No, no, no, another apartment.
You are not coming back here.
You are not coming back.
What will the neighbors say?
What will they say?
My daughter's a whore? A slut?
Living with another man?
It always about whores
and sluts with you.
If I move in with him I'm a whore?
Really, Dad.
Yes.
Calm down,
we're just talking about it.
So this is what you talk about
when the door is closed.
No problem.
No more closed door.
Honey.
When did...
when did you get the thing?
The what?
The thing, when was it?
-Bekhor, I don't understand.
When did...
your period, when was it?
A few days ago.
Why are you asking?
How many days?
Five? -Five.
No good.
-No good?
Our rabbi was talking about purity laws.
You know, it's very very...
interesting.
It's an important commandment.
Many people abide by it.
Non-religious too.
Could you immerse
in the "mikveh" in two days, honey?
You know, two weeks, loads of fun,
two weeks, time to relax.
It's good, it...
it will make our relationship more passionate.
It's a commandment the wife observes,
but it helps the man
keep his libido in check, to resist,
and you know I...
I'm resisting not to send you back
to the couch.
Alright, maybe we'll apply
the purity laws next month...
We'll skip this month.
Mommy, I have to poop.
God is telling us something.
I think we'll wait two days after all.
I'm going.
Wait, I'm coming.
He has to poop...
What a disrespectful audience.
Couldn't they stay for 3 hours
until the end of the show?
They didn't come for you, bro.
They came to see "Funny Guy,"
Dennis the Menace.
Who are you?
At least stay until the end,
be a pal.
-Fine,
let's not forget we don't know
who was in the audience
and one good eye is enough
to get a kick and soar.
-Alright.
I feel like I got kicked in the head.
-In the balls.
"Two and a Half" trio,
can I get an autograph?
Wow, it was so funny.
I even heard people say
it was funny.
Hang on there.
What did I tell you?
Now they're spreading the word.
I'm gonna massage my ego on Facebook.
"Ofer, king of Israel
"Hai, Hai
"and Elad
"Ofer, king of Israel,
Hai, Hai and Elad
"Ofer, king of Israel,
Hai, Hai and Elad..."
You idiot.
Psychos.
I'm proud of you.
I didn't get a chance before,
there were eight people
who really had to see me.
Forget that. Come.
Wait, I want to show you something.
No. Come with me.
Come.
-Wait, I want to talk to you.
Hold on.
Do you mind if we use the room?
-Sure, I'm done here.
Thanks.
What are you doing?
-Having some fun.
Good night.
Nice.
Mr. Shem-Tov.
I signed the lease
on our amazing mansion.
Not exactly a mansion...
More a roommate apartment.
There's a huge room that's just ours
and this Tel Aviv style door
that we can close.
You signed?
You signed for both of us?
-Instantly.
As soon as I saw it
I knew it would be ours.
And the price is great too.
Hai, this isn't something you do on the spot.
You'll love this apartment, for real.
I can't.
Don't worry, you're not doing this alone.
We're doing this together.
Together we can do it all, remember?
I don't want all the grief.
Finally something significant happens
and "me and you against the world"
goes out the window?