When Nature Calls (2021–2022): Season 1, Episode 2 - Sup? - full transcript

♪♪

Mirren:
The natural world ‐‐

a feast for the senses...

[ Sniffs ]

Ooh, mama.

...a shimmering blue marble
of wondrous sights.

Within this world, diverse
realms await discovery ‐‐

deserts...

oceans...

forests ‐‐

all teeming with
fascinating life‐forms,



each with their own
compelling story to tell.

Well, Steve,
this is what you get

when you don't spring
for the fancy hotel

with
the adults‐only pool.

You cheap doof.

Let us journey closer
than we ever thought possible,

to live within a whisper
of the noble creatures

with whom we share our planet.

We have listened
to their voices before ‐‐

the roar of the lion,

the call of the eagle,

the howl of the wolf ‐‐

but now,
for the first time ever,

we can truly hear them.



'Sup? 'Sup? 'Sup?

[ Sighs ] Why are these guys
always at the gym

when I'm at the gym?

'Sup? 'Sup? 'Sup?
'Sup? 'Sup? 'Sup?

Don't make eye contact.
Just find an elliptical.

Mirren:
Our animal friends

speak in the ancient tongue
of mother earth.

Listen closely,

for these fascinating beings
have so very much to share.

And now, beneath the booming
heavens which encircle us all,

we will behold
in breathless wonder

all that can be experienced...

See, the thing you got to
understand about NFTs ‐‐

sorry, non‐fungible tokens ‐‐
is that they're exclusive,

and it's their exclusivity
that makes them so valuable

on the Ethereum blockchain,
which,

oh, man,
how do I describe Ethereum?

Oh, God. Why?
Why did I even ask?

I should know better than to ask
anything around Rick.

Totally different
from those entities.

Maybe if I just stare
straight ahead,

no reaction, he'll shut up.
That means
that they store extra...

Ugh,
what is he even saying?

Doesn't he know that
I'm not actually interested?

And most of the...
It was just a thing to say ‐‐

"What even is an NFT?"
That's all I said.

I didn't say,
"Please explain, Rick,

in detail, what an NFT is."

But I really should know
better by now.

Bitcoin can be bought
and sold...

Ugh, God, dear Lord,
he's still going.

Please stop talking.
Please stop talking.

Please stop talking.

Somebody call my phone
right this minute.

...cream soda and singing
the national anthem

that just sold
for $150,000...

Wait.
Did he just say $150,000?

Dollars of money?
For a GIF?

How do I get in on this?

♪♪

Mirren:
Whether animal or human,

we are all the main character
of our own story ‐‐

from the selfless worker ant
to the noble lioness

or just Kenny, who works
in Accounts Payable.

What's up?

Oh, yeah, hi.

Anyway, how these stories
and perspectives combine,

and occasionally collide,

forms the backbone
of our collective experience.

Life on this planet
is an ongoing saga

filled with a sprawling
cast of characters,

some of them bold
and ostentatious,

others, like the tarsier
of southeast Asia,

a tad more mysterious.

♪♪

♪♪

Look into my eyes.

Yes, you're getting tired now.

Very ti‐‐

Okay, are you looking into
my eye‐eye or my entire eyeball?

Because you have to look
into the tiny eye‐hole part

for this to work.

No, no, no.
You stay. I'll move.

Okay, much better.

Now, where were we?

Yes, you're getting tired now.

Very tired.

And you're not looking into
my eye holes again.

I don't understand
what's so hard about this.

♪♪

Mirren:
Nature can be mesmerizing,

lyrical in its quiet beauty.

And it can also be
frustrating as hell.

I mean, look at this chump,
trying to open a nut.

It's like, "Hello?

You could've just sprung
for a bag of cashews."

And while you're at the market,
get a fun flavor,

like smoky barbecue
or [gasps] ooh, spicy wasabi.

Now, those are tasty.

Yes, life in the wild
can be unsparing

and occasionally cruel,

even for an animal as imposing
as the black bear

in the Alaskan timberlands.

Great job, guys.

That is an A‐plus
for climbing class.

‐Yay!
‐[ Chuckling ] Yay!

Alright, come on back down.
Your parents are waiting.

Coach Jake,
did you find your shirt?

Uh, what are you
talking about?

Our mom said you lost
your shirt in your divorce.

[ Chuckles awkwardly ]
Well, that's...
Did Coach Tina take it?

Oh, geez.

Mom said Coach Tina
wrecked your house

cause you were
adult‐er‐ing

Okay, well, now hold on
just a second.

Your mom shouldn't be talking
about that kind of stuff.

Does Coach Tina
have a bulldozer?
What?

Is that why you cry
in your car after class?

[ Chuckling nervously ]
I hardly ever do that.

Did Coach Tina give
your shirt to Coach Mike?

Coach Mike?!

Wait, wait, did you see her
with Coach Mike?

[ Crying ] That jerk?
Alright, okay, fine.

Get down here.
Tell me everything you heard.

Coach Jake is upset.

♪♪

Mirren: We leave
that once‐mighty black bear

as he contemplates his place
in the wild, and ‐‐

just spit‐balling here ‐‐

which dating app will help him
get back out there.

Yes, the male of the species
can often be loud,

emotionally volatile,
and strongly opinionated,

particularly when it comes to
fantasy‐football draft strategy.

However, the pressure
of imposed societal roles,

both within the animal
and human worlds,

can strain the fortitude
and stamina

of even the strongest creature.

[ Animals chattering ]

How long
has he been sleeping?
A few hours.

Should we wake him?
He looks so peaceful.

Yeah, it's time.
Sir?

[ Groaning ]
Huh, what? Huh? Wha‐‐ Huh?

Yeah, you have to leave.
This store is closing.

Aw, geez, already?

This mattress
is so comfortable.

Are you buying a bed
or what?

[ Groans ]
I'm on the fence.

Can I try
the memory‐foam one again?

Oh, for the love of ‐‐

Dude, get out of here.

♪♪

Mirren: From the jungles
of sub‐Saharan Africa,

we journey inland
to the rainforests of Ecuador.

Here, we can get a glimpse

of how the white‐throated
capuchins distract themselves

from the rigors
of woodland life.

♪♪

[ Applause ]

Welcome back to
"Go Nuts with Nellie."

Today we're cooking up my
favorite dish, braised tree nut.

It's an easy, fun recipe
your family will love.

[ Applause ]

First, we open the nut.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

This is a tough one.

First, we just open...

the...nut.

First, we just open...

the...nut.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Don't worry, guys.

Dinner is on the way.
[ Applause ]

Okay, guys,
what the [bleep]?

[ Chainsaw whirring ]

Attorney:
Have you been injured
in an on‐the‐job accident?

Yank‐and‐fall?
Aah!

Or greased twig?
No‐o‐o‐o!

Then you deserve
to be compensated.

At Eagle, Eagle & Mingo,
we get you paid for your pain.

Mother nature is
a cruel mistress, so sue her.

Spokeswoman: Eagle,
Eagle & Mingo specializes

in all types
of injury claims...

At Eagle, Eagle & Mingo,
we won't quit until you win.

Or...winter.
Call now.

♪ Eagle, Eagle, & Mingo ♪

You guys are paid
how [bleep] much,

and you can't find me
a [bleep] nut to crack?!

You know whose nuts I'll crack
if I can't get this thing open?!

I'm looking at you, Donald!

Nellie, we're on.

Welcome back to
"Go Nuts with Nellie."

♪♪

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Static, feedback ]

Female Announcer: Up next
on "People's Public Radio,"

a depressing look at wallaby
working conditions ‐‐

Male Announcer:
It's monsoon season,

so this week's forecast
is rain.

♪ Try to reach another level,
I'm not done yet ♪

♪ Be a master at my craft ♪

Male Announcer #2:
Go‐o‐o‐al!

Buck Wild: This is Buck Wild
with the m‐m‐m‐m‐morning zoo.

Rain, rain,
more rain.

Oh, look, it's sunny
on Saturday, but then rain.

Good evening, folks.
It's Barack Obama,

and you're listening to
my new murder‐mystery podcast,

"Obama Drama."

♪♪

Mirren:
Let us return, once again,

to the realm
of our animal cousins,

to see what noble pursuits
these majest‐‐

[ Laughs ]
Do you know what?

Can I say what an absolute gas
this is?

This is such a plum gig.

Don't get me
started on the cash.

I'm talking fat stacks.

Dame Helen is getting paid.

Jerry: [ Clears throat ]
Um, we are rolling.

[ Gasps ] Oh, sorry,
I got distracted.

I mean, how couldn't I?
Look at this footage.

And I can just call up
whatever I want to see

at a moment's notice.

Treetops.

Waterfall.

Savannah.

Penguins.

Slightly different kind
of penguins.

Anyway, let's commune,
once again,

with one of the more
curious animals

we've encountered thus far ‐‐
the tarsier.

♪♪

♪♪

Let's try the hypnosis again,
okay?

[ Clears throat ]
Look into my eyes.

Eyes, plural.

If you're only looking
at the right one

or the left one,
this isn't going to work.

Yes, that's it.

Look into my eyes.

The entire animal kingdom
surrenders

in thrall to my command.

Hear me, subjugate creatures,
and obey.

Feathered creatures,

I command you to fly.

Yes, that's it.

I hold sway over all

and command you,
my hypnotized servant squirrel,

to just...sit there
and, like, lazily chew.

Perfect. That's exactly
what I told you to do.

Clearly, my hypnosis works.

And now, for you,
the viewer at home,

I command you to ‐‐

[ Cellphone ringing, vibrating ]
Seriously?

Alright, who didn't put
their [bleep] phone on vibrate?

I'm a professional hypnotist,
people.

I cannot deal
with this [bleep]

[ Clears throat ]
I mean, look into my eyes.

I command you to put your phone
on vibrate.

Yes.

♪♪

Mirren: Clearly, some animals
react to the pressure of life

in the wild
with unbridled intensity.

Then there are others
who counteract the stresses

of survival with simple,
relatable pleasures.

I, for instance, like to unwind

with a glass
of Châteauneuf‐du‐Pape

and play online poker.

But that's just me.

The pursuit of serenity

extends even to the Indonesian
island of Sumatra,

where a tiger seeks a respite
from the chaos of the jungle.

[ Water lapping ]

♪♪

[ Inhales deeply ]

I am here.
[ Exhales slowly ]

I am here.

I have nowhere to be
but in this present moment.

[ Inhales deeply ]
I am enough.

I am loved.
I am safe. I ‐‐

[ Bird squawking ]
Oh, my [bleep] God!

That was so close to my head.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Inhales deeply ]
I am here.

I am here.

My value is not diminished
by my imperfections.

Damn, that bird flew
right at me.

Good God.

♪♪

Mirren:
From the riverbanks of Sumatra,
we now soar across the globe.

And if you'll look out
the left side of the aircraft,

you'll see a breathtaking
expanse of scrub brush,

some rocks,
and probably a snake.

It's tough to tell
from this high up.

[ Beep ]
Please return your tray tables

to their upright
and locked positions,

as we begin our descent
into the forests of New Zealand.

Here, we'll see
the animal world burst forth

with unexpected exuberance,

in this gathering of tree ants
and the giant weta.

♪♪

Lake Havasu, let me hear you!

Everybody, come up to the front!

[ Cheering ]
[ Chuckles ]

This is the greatest night
of my life!

Lake Havasu, are you ready?!

[ Cheering ]

Let's go!

♪♪

Spring bre‐e‐e‐e‐ak!

[ Cheering ]

♪♪

[ Birds chirping ]

So, I'm sure the first thing
you'll notice in this condo

is the breathtaking view.

Wow, really nice.

And you don't get a more
open floor plan than this.

Look at this breezeway.

Yeah, it is literally
all breeze.

[ Chuckles ]

Anyway, comes with
a three‐car garage,

brand‐new appliances,
and ‐‐

Just, uh ‐‐ Just checking
the foundation here.

Can never be
too careful.

Yeah, that's sturdy.
Okay, we can always have
a professional

come take a look
if you'd like.
[ Elephants trumpeting ]

What's, uh ‐‐
What's that over there?

Oh, those must be
the neighbors.

Wow, that's a ‐‐
that's a pretty large family.

They always having big,
loud parties like that?

I think they're just heading out
for the evening.

They're usually
very quiet.

You'll hardly know
they live next door.

I'm sorry, they live
next door?

Yes,
and you know why?

Because the schools
around here are amazing.

Uh, yeah, it's a no.
Sorry.

Okay, no problem.
I've got another listing.

It's a charming
little fixer‐upper

next to a hyena den, and it has
a built‐in espresso machine.

Wait. Hyena den?

I'm trying to work
with your budget, you know.

♪♪

♪♪

Mirren:
Across the animal kingdom,
there exist obstacles...

...natural barriers
that must be overcome.

Crossing a raging river,
scaling a precipitous mountain,

or getting through
a conversation

with my producer Jerry
without him mentioning

his tricep routine at the gym.

Jerry: Yeah, Dame Helen,
I'm actually up to

to three unassisted dips
now.

Oh, wonderful, Jerry.
Just wonderful.

How we push through
these challenges

and gain access
to the world beyond

is what unifies the struggles
of both human and animal,

typified in the North Pacific
by this tense standoff

between a frigate bird
and an albatross.

♪♪

Back up, bro.
There's a line.

My bad. I'm here
for Keisha's birthday party.

Oh, there she go
right there.

Together: Go, Keisha.
It's your birthday.

Go, Keisha.
It's your birthday.

Nah,
you ain't with them.

Dude, that's my girl.

Watch.
Hey, Keisha!

Go, me [hiccups]
it's my birthday.

[ Chuckles ]
Yo, Keisha,
you know this dude?

It's Barry!

Larry who?
I don't know your ass.

[ Chuckles ]
That's my Keisha.

[ Chuckles ]
She's so funny.

Can you please
just let me in?

Look, man, you starting
to make me feel bad for you.

So bad
you're gonna let me in?

Nah.
Ooh!

I'll just give her
this present later.

Unless...

somebody else would like
this $15 gift card

for a foot‐long sub.

Dude.
I'm going.

[ Animals calling ]

♪♪

Okay, pitter‐patter,
let's get at 'er.

We're gonna try this hypnosis
stuff one more time.

Now, look into my eyes.

Yes, you're getting very sleepy

and feeling very generous.

You want to whip out your phone
and Venmo me 20 bucks.

That's right.
Surrender your will,

and Venmo me at...

Aw, crap.

What is my Venmo username?

I can never remember.

Wow, there are a lot
of hypnotist tarsiers on Venmo.

Boy, who knew?

I sense now that the psychic
bond is growing fragile.

You know what?
[Bleep] this noise.

I'll just go hold up
a convenience store.

Yeah, that's what
I've been reduced to,

because you [bleep]
don't appreciate

real talent when you see it.

I'm out.
Where are my damn car keys?

Belinda?
Belinda!

Look into my eyes!
Where are my car keys?!

♪♪

Mirren: As we journey
throughout the animal world,

we glimpse experiences at which
we can't help but marvel.

We see the love of a parent
for a child,

bravery in the face
of mortal danger,

and sometimes, baboons
with totally jacked‐up butts.

I mean, look at that.
That's nasty.

Just friggin' nasty, man.

Now, as we peer beyond the lens
of our own experience

and into the wonders
of the animal kingdom,

we are humbled by
the simple beauty and dignity

that swells to greet us

when nature calls.

[ Seagull squawking ]

Son:
Stay right there, Ma.

I'm gonna take the picture.

I'm too far.
You can't see my face.

I look like
a little dot.

You're not a dot, Ma.
It's a zoom camera.

I put my face on for this.
You got to come closer.

Stay where you are, Ma.
I gotta focus.

There we go.

It's too far.
I'm coming closer.

Ma!
You were too far.

It's a zoom camera, Ma.

It's my profile pic,
not yours.

Let it focus, Ma.

Stay where you are.
There we are.

Ma!
You're too far!

It's a zoom, Ma.
You got to stay where you are.

Who takes a profile picture
this far?

It doesn't matter.
The camera's got a zoom.

It can zoom
from real far.

You don't want me
to start dating, that's why.

What's that got to do
with anything?

Look, stay where you are.
Don't move. Perfect.

F‐stop, shutter speed,
white balance.

Ah, dang,
it ran out of batteries.

Mirren: Earth.

Beautiful...

awe‐inspiring...

welcoming...

a home for us

and countless other beings.

[ Chuckles ]

And beyond the simple
eloquence of nature ‐‐

stately pines,

commanding waves,

whispering, arid winds ‐‐

there are other voices,

joining in unison
or calling out

to proclaim greater truths.

The natural world
possesses a wisdom

that transcends
human intelligence.

Did the Academy Award‐winning
Helen Mirren

just say on national TV
that we're smarter than humans?

Huh, I guess she did,
yeah.

I tell you what,
these A‐list actors ‐‐

all a little cuckoo
if you ask me.

An ancient
and hard‐won foresight

developed over generations

by the noble creatures who roam
every corner of the globe.

Open your mind and your ears,

and our brilliant
animal compatriots

will reveal the depths
of their universal knowledge.

Teach us, wise ones.
Teach us.

[ Sneezes ]

Ugh, I think a piece
of my brain came out.

Commune once again
with these complex creatures,

and gasp in awe at the very
secrets of Earth herself

all revealed...

♪♪

Our whirlwind tour of
the natural world

has already revealed the inner
lives of our animal neighbors

with startling clarity.

We've seen amazing parallels
between their world and ours...

[ Bird squawking ]

...a shared continuum
of relationships,

and emotions, and ‐‐

and yelling.

[ Shrieks ]

Lots of yelling.

Son: Ma!
You're too far!

It's a zoom, Ma.
You got to stay where you are.

Yeah, alright, alright,
very good.

Thank you.
We all get excited.

Indeed, what of the powerful,
elemental spark of passion?

Yes, our wild friends
share this, too,

as we see in a visit
with southern fur seals

of the subantarctic islands.

♪♪

Ah, a night at the opera.
Delightful.

I heard Carpaccio
warming up.

Splendid.
A true artist.

It's starting.

♪ A‐A‐Ave Mari‐i‐i‐a ♪

Ye‐e‐e‐ah!

I love this so‐o‐o‐ng!

[ Grunts ]

Who in the world is that?

It's that brute
wearing flip‐flops.

The one we saw doing
Jaegerbombs in the lobby bar.

Keep going!
Ye‐e‐e‐ah!

This ro‐o‐cks!
Shh!

I love classical music!

Pipe down,
you hooligan.

This is fine art, sir.
Control yourself.

I ca‐a‐n't!
I lo‐o‐ve it!

I love concertos!

Chest bump!

[ Grunts ]
Ouf, my monocle.

I love it all, baby!

It's just so freaking
beautifu‐u‐u‐l!

Actually, this brute's
enthusiasm is quite infectious.

Agreed.

Opera‐a‐a‐a‐a!

All: Opera‐a‐a‐a‐a‐a!

Opera!

Yeah!

♪♪

Mirren: The natural world
follows a set of rules,

conventions laid out by
millions of years of evolution.

But even in a dominion shaped
by seasons, birth cycles,

and other structures,
mysteries abound.

How do bears know
when to hibernate?

How do birds change direction
en masse?

How does my producer Jerry
still not know

that I like oat milk
in my lattes?

Jerry: Sorry.

[ Sips ]

Ick, soy.

And, Jerry, did the barista
actually write

"Dame Helen Mirren"
on this cup?

Y‐You just had to show off,
didn't you?

Sorry. I‐I thought
I could score a free croissant.

Anyway,
nature teems not only with life

but with a million compelling,
nigh unanswerable questions...

♪♪

Wait a minute.

I just figured out why they
called that show "Friends."

[ Chuckles ]

It's because it's the name
of all the characters.

Rachel Friends.
Joey Friends.

Phoebe Friends.
They're all siblings.

[ Chuckles ]
I finally get it.

♪♪

Mirren: Every creature
fulfills a role.

Each animal has a job,
as it were ‐‐

some activity that lends them
an air of duty,

a sense of purpose,
and perhaps also gives them

a misplaced sense
of their own abilities.

Case in point ‐‐ the flitting
ditch jewel dragonfly,

in the trees of southeast Asia.

Director: Okay,
let's shoot this scene.

Dave, remember,
everyone thinks your character

got eaten by a bullfrog,
but now, we reveal you're alive,

so you swoop in,
it's nice and heroic,

and you say your line.

I think I'll come in
from the right.

No. We went over this.
You enter from the left.

That's what I said,
from your right.

No, from your left.

Let's go over blocking
again.

Let's do the "action."

Action.

Thought I'd drop in
from the left

and pay you a visit.
Cut.

Don't say
"from the left."

Thought I'd drop in
and pay you a visit

from over there.
Cut.

Let's just get it
in the wide.

Thought I'd just drop in
and pay you a visit.

How did I get here?
Maybe I came from that way.

Maybe I came from that way.

Maybe I [sneezes]
Cut, cut.

Just take it from
after you land.

And...

say the line.

The line.

Cut.

Mirren: For animals and humans
alike, existence ‐‐

mere survival ‐‐
is challenging enough.

But once emotions get involved,
things become truly messy.

And as awkward as
social pairings may become,

it can be quite difficult
to look away,

as in the delicate mating dance
of the Indian Peacock.

♪♪

Announcer: Next week,
on "The Bachelor,"

a one‐on‐one date that
you'll have to see to believe...

Emma K. is, um, yeah.

She's just kind of amazing.

I literally didn't know
I would fall so hard so quickly.

It's crazy.

We were literally having
a great time.

I was literally just showing her
my dance.

She seemed to like it.
I wasn't trying too hard.

If anything, I was being subtle,
you know?

And then before I know it,
she's just literally gone.

I literally don't know
if I can do this anymore.

I'm sorry.
I can't do this.

Which ‐‐ Which way is ‐‐

How do I get out of ‐‐

Why is everything
so confusing?

[ Crying ]
I just didn't realize

this process would be so hard.

I'm not a jealous person,
but this is hard.

I‐I don't know if I can
do this anymore.

Announcer:
Does Emma K. stick around?

What made Emma K. walk off set?

What made Garrison walk off set?

And what about Emma M.?

I also [sniffles] don't know
if I can do this anymore.

[ Crying ]

Announcer: All of that,
and more, next week

on "The Bachelor."

♪♪

♪♪

[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Paparazzi: Mr. Kong.
Uh, Mr. Kong, over here.

Uh, Mr. Kong, Mr. Kong.
Uh, over here, Mr. Kong.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, can I help you guys?

Uh, Mr. Kong, tell us about
your latest movie.

What was it like working
with Godzilla?

[ Sighs ] Not again.

Sorry.
You have the wrong guy.

I get mistaken for him
all the time.

My name is Glen.
I am not an actor.

Is it true you do
all your own stunts?

Are you thinking of branching
out into less‐serious roles?

Guys, again, I am not him.
I'm a radiologist.

I'm just grabbing some bagels
to bring into work.

Can you do the chest‐bump thing?
Maybe climb a building?

Swat at some airplanes for us?
Huh?

[ Groans ]
I got to start wearing

a big hat
and some glasses.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]

♪♪

Mirren: Ours is
a richly diverse world,

comprised
of countless creatures,

each with their own
animating principle,

a purpose, a calling,

a reason for being.

Some animals exist
as compatriots,

fellow travelers
providing emotional support,

while others serve as rivals,
challenging us to do better.

Then there are children,
who remind us of the time

we had a little too much sangria
with dinner,

and we got a bit frisky.

As the black skimmer seabird
of South America

knows full well,

these little ones
can demand plenty of attention.

Mom's home.
Mom, hey, Mom.

Mom, today I took my T. rex toy
to school a‐and...

Sorry, Allison, yeah,
yes, I just got home.

No, no,
now's a fine time.

Honey, can you just ‐‐

what do we do
when Mommy's ear buds are in?

Sorry. No, no, not you.

Yes, I'm so sure this family
is going to close.

They really seemed to ‐‐

...and, um, outside
on my way home from school,

I saw ‐‐
guess who I saw walking.

Ally. You know
my babysitter, Ally?

Ally, who babysits for me?
What's on your face?

There's schmutz all over
your face. Come here.

No, Allison, I'm sorry.
Not you.

She was walking outside
and I waved and said hi.

And ‐‐ And ‐‐ And ‐‐
Exactly.

Asking is $835,000,
but I know their offer

will be the highest
we've seen so far.

Jeffrey, sweetie,
give Mommy a moment.

We can have pizza
if you wait to ask me

when I'm off the phone.
Okay, I'll wait
till you get off the phone

to ask you if we can have pizza
'cause ‐‐ [grunts]

'cause you're on your phone
right now.

You're on the phone
right now.

I'll wait till you're
off the phone.

Hey,
we're gonna have pizza!

♪♪

Mirren: The parent/child
relationship is integral

to sustaining life on Earth,

and, therefore,
asserts itself everywhere,

usually
on a cross‐country flight

as you're just trying to get
some friggin' shut‐eye.

From the forest floor of Peru,
we journey to North America,

to see the familial dynamic
play out

with the dignified brown bear.

♪♪

Okay, kids,
watch and learn.

Fishing is all about poise,
patience.

You can't just freak out
and chase

after the first ‐‐ fish!

Oh, there it is.
Grab it!

Don't freak out!
Get the fish!

Don't splash!

You're splashing,
Dad.

Get it, get it,
get it, get it!

Get the fish!
Come on! Get back here!

Dad, there's other fish
behind you.

I want to grab
and eat you!

Kids, don't back down.
He's laughing at us!

Dad, there are dozens of fish
in the river.

But this one thinks he's
smarter than your old man.

Right now, I wouldn't
disagree with him.

Fish. Fish.
Get it. Get it.

Dad, Dad, he's gone.

Why does this happen
every time we fish?!

♪♪

Mirren: The pressures
of raising offspring,

both human and animal,

can present
existential questions.

How do I prepare my children
for an unfair world?

What kind of society
will they inherit?

Are they seriously going to
keep making "Minions" movies?

And why haven't I been asked
to do a voice

for one of those things?

I mean, I could totally do it.

Bleep‐blorp, bleep‐blorp.

See?

Super easy. Come on.

Call me.

But these are not the only
persistent vexations

in this untamed world.

♪♪

Wait a minute.

Has there ever been
a rabbit magician

who pulled a person
out of a hat?

Whoa.
That'd be pretty cool.

You'd need a pretty big hat.

Or a pretty small person.

♪♪

Mirren:
The realm of the animals,

in its sprawling,
boundless wonder,

can impart
a sense of freedom...

but also a feeling
of profound isolation.

It's enough to make
one question,

"Am I the only monkey
on this rock?"

I guess, in this instance,
yeah,

this is literally
the only monkey on this rock.

Sorry, I‐I was trying
to be poetic,

and got distracted
by this sad fellow.

Bumming me out.
Change this, please.

Ah, that's the stuff.

Anyway, listlessness,
such a human trait,

can plague
our animal friends, too.

And like us, all they need
to rouse themselves

from this torpor
is a bit of sage guidance.

Forget it.
I can't train ya.

You're a bum who can't jump.
[ Grunts ]

Alright, again.
[ Grunts ]

Again.
[ Grunting ]

Higher.
Where's the style?

Shimmy the tail.
Nice, nice.

But to win the championship,
you got to be ready.

Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm ready.

Yeah, you're ready to quit being
a nobody from the prairie.

Yeah, yeah.
Heck yeah.

But are you ready to bleed
and sweat and hurt for it?

To not eat sugar
for six years?

Yeah‐hah!
Fantastic.

Now all's we gotta do is find
out if there's such a thing

as a jumping‐up‐and‐down
championship.

If there is,
you're getting the gold, baby.

Yeah!

♪♪

Carl!

Yes?

Carl!

Are you guy saying "Carl"
or "Charles"?

Because this is the third time
this week,

and I keep telling you
my name is ‐‐

Carl!
Ugh, no.

That's what I'm trying
to tell you.

I'm ‐‐
Carl!

Are you guys trying
to get me to move?

Is that it?

[ Chuckles ]
Well, good luck.

Carl!

Mirren: Our journey now
whisks us around the globe

to the jungles of China.

Here, we discover that
unfocused aggression

can be wielded by any species,

and generally speaking,
by the males.

I'm so sorry, fellas.
I call 'em as I see 'em.

Tony: And now for

"The Trials & Tribulations
of Testosterone Tony."

You want to know about me?

Okay. I'm Tony.

And, sure, I can be
a bit of a hothead.

I'm a passionate guy.
Tony!

I enjoy exercise,
Internet comment sections,

and tossing people
who bother me out of trees.

What did you say
about my shirt, bro?

I said I liked it.
Wrong answer.

Wait, no, no, no,
come on, man.

No‐o‐o‐o‐o!

Why did you step
on my new kicks, bro?

You're not wearing shoes.

Hey, no one reasons
with Tony.

You awakened the beast.

I just said you dropped
your phone. Aah!

Tony doesn't need your help,
alright?

Tony doesn't need anyone.

But I guess, you know, you throw
enough people out of trees,

and suddenly
Tony is all alone.

This is why
you're in therapy, Tony.

This is where
the healing begins.

What are you...?
Don't you...hug Tony.

I'm just holding you.

You need to accept
the real Tony.

[ Sobbing ]
Tony is full of hurt.

Tony, let it ‐‐
Tony?

Tony, what are you doing?
Tony?

Tony,
no‐o‐o‐o‐o‐o‐o‐o‐o!

Don't you ever try
to fix Tony.

[ Thud ]

Mirren: Time and again,
our animal friends

and their travails
on our shared Earth

reveal a universal truth ‐‐

we all tread our own path.

And so often, this is a journey
marked not by a straight line,

but etched in a series
of switchbacks, diversions,

and errant sidesteps.

♪♪

Wait a minute.

What if the Taylor Swift song
"Coney Island"

isn't about Jake Gyllenhaal
or Harry Styles?

What if it's about me?

Nah, that seems unlikely.

I'm a rabbit
who she's never met.

♪♪

Mirren:
Our communion with the natural
world now draws to a close,

another selection
of stolen glances

toward our brethren in the wild.

Where will their stories
take them next?

What will they do
once our gaze drifts away?

And, actually,
while we're talking about it,

did we have
those animals' permission?

I mean, we just basically barged
into their homes with cameras.

Did they sign waivers?

Mm, I suppose
those are questions

for our legal department.

Still, the parallels
between the animal world

and ours are striking.

And we have little choice
but to once again peek

at the wonders that abound

when nature calls.

Narrator: This year, instead
of sipping fruity drinks

out of fancy straws
on some beach somewhere,

head someplace different,

someplace beautiful,

someplace we like to call...

Bring your family.
Bring your friends.

Just don't forget to bring
your coat. [ Chuckles ]

Matter of fact,
bring all your coats.

All of them.

And take in all the natural
beauty this place has to offer.

[ Wind gusting ]

Don't believe me?

Then take it from our locals,
like this fella.

If you enjoy nightlife,
this place is great for you

because nights are all we get.

Seriously, I haven't seen
the sun in eight weeks.

Narrator:
And also, this fella.

Come for a little R&R,
leave with a cool accent.

#sweg.

Narrator:
So this travel season,

do something different
for Pete's sake,

and head to Way Friggin'
Up North There Now, okay?

We could really use the company.

We're lonely.