What We Do in the Shadows (2019–…): Season 4, Episode 8 - Go Flip Yourself - full transcript
The mansion gets a makeover.
♪ ♪
BRAN:
The sun may have just set,
but we're just getting started.
Which is fitting because we are
in the city that never sleeps.
Although, Toby here could use
a little more beauty sleep.
- Ouch, Bran.
- What?
Uh, we're twins, remember?
Hey, brothers.
Can't live with 'em...
Uh, I think you forgot to say,
"Can't live without 'em."
- Who says I forgot?
- Uh-oh.
Anyway, Bran and I
have seen the worst...
- Of the worst...
- ...of home disasters,
but today, we are here
in Staten Island...
♪ New York. ♪
- ♪ ♪
- (hammering)
- I'm Bran Daltry.
- And I'm Toby Daltry.
- And we're...
- BOTH: The Daltry Brothers.
- And this is...
- BOTH: Go Flip Yourself.
("Make You a Believer"
by Jez Pike playing)
BRAN:
I'm Bran,
and this knucklehead over here
is my brother Toby.
TOBY:
Hey.
Now, we may not get along
all the time,
but one thing we do agree on
is turning people's
dream homes into reality.
- ♪ I'll make you a believer... ♪
- (crying)
♪ Get off your knees ♪
♪ You've got the power
of being ♪
♪ What you want to be ♪
♪ Make you a believer ♪
(whistling)
(thud)
NARRATOR:
Staten Island, New York.
Home to the world famous
Staten Island Ferry,
a blossoming real estate market,
and the Daltry Brothers'
toughest challenge yet.
(whistles) Yikes, what a mess.
Hey, don't be so hard
on yourself, you knucklehead.
Bran, I was talking
about the house.
Take a look.
You got crumbling statues.
- BRAN: I see them.
- TOBY: You got overgrown lawn,
- and... (sniffs)
- BRAN: Mm-hmm.
What am I smelling?
Is that sulfur?
Yeah, I'm getting notes
of, uh... (sniffs)
...decomposing animals.
Pee-yew-y.
Yeah, I think someone should
call an exterminator, too.
Hey, it's nothing a little
brotherly love can't fix,
- so...
- BOTH: Whoa.
- Look out. Wow.
- What is that?
That is a big bone.
Yeah, I hope the big dog
that buried this one
- is a friendly fella.
- (barking)
Now, the owners
of this house have
- no idea that we're here.
- Doesn't matter.
They were told to keep
the door unlocked,
so that the "power company"
could "check the meter."
And y'all know what that means.
BOTH:
It's ambush time!
- Come on.
- (cackling)
Okay.
Who's ready to get down
and dirty
and a little bit flirty?
What the (bleep)?
(bleep) (bleep)
- Am I on Go Flip Yourself?
- Yes, you are.
(laughs)
My name's Laszlo.
I'm such a fan.
- My name's Bran. Ah.
- I know who you are.
- Initially, the twins aspect...
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- ...confused me slightly.
- It does a lot of people.
- And then I watched three seasons...
- Yeah?
...and then I realized that, uh,
- you're both very different.
- Sure.
In posture and personality.
BRAN:
We need to fix this house.
LASZLO: Tell me about it. I
sent my tape in months ago.
NARRATOR:
Bran and Toby certainly have
their hands full with the
quirky owners and decor
of this mixed-up mansion.
All right, guys, so little bit
of a hiccup out the gates.
My brother Toby's
a little under the weather,
so he's gonna sit this one out.
I mean, typical Toby, right?
Leaving all the hard work
for this guy to do.
But when they saw
how down we were
about Toby taking a sick day,
the owners of this house...
And I'm just gonna
say this about them...
They are very spiritual people.
They led me and the whole crew
on a very special
guided meditation, you know,
just to re-center us.
And you will forget
that Toby is dead,
and that he was murdered by me.
A girl has got to eat.
And, instead, you will think
that he is just
temporarily sick. (Vocalizes)
Hashtag it worked.
So, now... (chuckles)
...we got to get back
to the task at hand,
and, oh, boy, it's a doozy.
Plus, we just want Toby
to be proud of this episode
when he sees it, after
he shakes off the mild flu.
NARRATOR:
When the owners first saw this
8,474-square-foot home,
it was love at first sight.
And that was so long ago,
they say
they can't even remember
when they first moved in.
But since then,
things have changed.
Railroad employee
and part-time graphic designer,
- Laszlo...
- I wish I could get this
printer to work.
NARRATOR: ...hates
living in this dated house
that lacks adequate storage
space for him and his nephew
- Colin.
- (laughs) Bang!
What have I told you
about touching my hat?
- Pow!
- LASZLO: To be blunt,
this house is a (bleep)hole.
And I think only
Bran and Toby are capable
of helping us
"embrace our space."
- Go on, bugger off.
- LASZLO: To quote the brothers themselves,
from episode 113,
"Midcentury Mess,"
"This house is all kinds of
Frank Lloyd Wrong."
(laughs)
NARRATOR:
Nandor and Marwa are newlyweds
with a passion for cooking,
but without enough space
- in their cramped kitchen.
- Sorry.
And they can't seem
to agree on how to make
their master bedroom
their happily ever after.
So, yes, we are
technically newlyweds,
but it feels like we've
been together forever.
I would describe my style
as French country
meets shabby chic.
And I would describe my style
as French country
meets shabby chic.
But I also like modern.
I like to have an indoor sink,
a floor that is not dirt.
Me, too. I like everything
that he likes.
So, if he says that
we need a change...
Change is not always
a good thing.
I mean, sometimes,
you make too many changes,
and then, before you know it,
you realize what
you thought you wanted
is, in fact, very annoying.
NARRATOR: Guillermo and
Nadja have their hands full
running a successful nightclub,
and when they come home
to these cramped
- living quarters...
- Where is the (bleep) thing?
NARRATOR:
...tensions can run hot.
The thingy-thing. The thing
that controls... (stammers)
- ...the heat at the nightclub.
- GUILLERMO: A thermostat key.
- Right?
- NADJA: Yes.
It's on a chain
around your neck.
Nice try.
(clears throat)
- Whew, this is a big house.
- Yeah.
Okay, guys, let's talk about
design options
within your budget.
- Great.
- Now, here's the question:
How much are you guys
comfortable spending
in order to give
this old house a...
(whistles)
...facelift?
All of it.
All our life's savings.
- Whatever you need, you knucklehead.
- You're the knucklehead.
- You're the (bleep) knucklehead.
- Who you calling a knucklehead?
- (laughs)
- Look at this. (Laughs)
- Where'd you get that shirt?
- What?
Where-Where'd you get
your shirt?
From a shop. (Bleep) off.
BRAN: Okay, we're
getting a little off track here.
Let's focus, guys,
'cause, clearly,
this living room
is not working for anyone.
What the (bleep) is that
supposed to mean? Some of us
happen to like
waterlogged mahogany
and soaking wet pillows
that smell of cheese
- and moldy stuffed bears. Thank you.
- BRAN: Yeah...
Clearly, we're not nuts
about the full-size tree
that fell through
the wall. (Chuckles)
Left a gigantic hole
where raccoons and squirrels
can just come and go
and nest in our furniture, so...
I don't know, I don't mind it.
As you can see, I
gave that a bit of a trim
using the Milwaukee M18 Fuel
Lithium-Ion chainsaw,
used in your commercials.
"Milwaukee,
nothing but heavy duty."
(clicks tongue)
Home renovations can be
an emotional process.
- Let's do it.
- BRAN: Now, I have to convince the owners that
we're not here to destroy
their memories,
we're here to help them
make new ones.
♪ ♪
Okay
And, boom, we knock out
all the walls.
Make an open concept
first floor.
It's gonna create much better
flow and, most importantly,
it's gonna bring in tons
of natural light.
- I love it, it's perfect.
- BRAN: Thank you.
- I don't think that's perfect.
- BRAN: And...
we can also get rid of this
dated and awkward storage
and replace it with a master
his-and-hers mega-closet. Yeah.
- Fantastic.
- With custom shelves
for all of Nadja's shoes
and her doll.
Plus, a dedicated hat wall
with hat racks for all
of Laszlo's dope hats.
That cannot be our house.
You're right,
that cannot be our house.
- This fella is the knackers.
- Thank you.
Now, let's talk about
that unfinished attic.
I think we should reimagine it
as a spacious master suite
slash love nest
for Nandor and Marwa.
It doesn't matter how many
changes you make to something.
- The novelty eventually wears off.
- Mm.
- I agree with my husband.
- (sighs)
NANDOR:
But I do like
that sign about home
being where the wine is.
- Okay. There is another option.
- MARWA: Me, too.
In this option,
you can keep
your current bedroom...
- NANDOR: Mm.
- ...and we reimagine the attic
as a dedicated
"man cave" for Nandor.
- Man cave?
- BRAN: Yeah.
NANDOR:
What is a man cave?
Man cave is where
you do your man stuff.
So, there are no women allowed
in this man cave?
Hey, it's your space up there,
- you do with it what you please.
- Great.
Guess what?
I hate all of that. That attic
is full of very precious,
treasured memories
of us putting all
of our trash up there.
Also, we do not need
a wall of hat hooks.
Laszlo only has one hat,
and it's bloody cursed!
Correction, my darling,
I have five hats.
I have the one
she's referring to,
which she doesn't like
for some unknown reason.
- (groans) - It's actually very cool.
- I'm sure it is.
It might be made out of witch
skin and has an asshole on it,
but I look fantastic wearing it.
And another is a yellow ball cap
with the message across it,
- "Absolut Aces..."
- Ooh, where'd you get that?
...which was a gift
from the 2006 movie premiere
of the movie
- BOTH: Smokin' Aces.
- You know the film?
- I love it. It's classic.
- Well, I've never worn it.
Where you going, Nadja? I got
something special for you, too.
Check this out.
No home would be complete
without a serene master bath
fit for a queen.
I don't care about any of this.
Uh, do you care
about a gold toilet?
Bang!
(clears throat)
A gold toilet?
Queen's got to have her throne,
am I right, guys?
You can't even take a (bleep).
I will take a (bleep)
if I want to take a (bleep).
Stop trying to water down
my brand. (Hisses)
I've given the owners
a lot to think about.
Now it's time to let them
talk it over.
I really don't think
this kind of public exposure
is good for us.
I really think that
we should just let these guys
paint a wall or two
and get them out of here.
"These guys"?
Bran and Toby are artisans.
They're craftspeople.
Toby is dead, okay?
And it's only a matter of time
before someone notices.
No, are you not paying attention
to my very
comprehensive hypnosis?
And no one watching this footage
will notice
that we are vampires.
Not the editors,
not the editors' assistants,
not the sound mixers,
not the, uh...
Who else is there?
Color correctors,
current executives,
Standards & Practices
occasionally looks
at a rough cut.
A producer's girlfriend named
Wendy one time gave notes,
and now she gives notes
on all the cuts.
- Then there are...
- Okay, okay, I get it.
Yes. All of those nerds, too.
Also you will put the bit
that I am saying in now
as a flashback and then
cut back to the main story
of whatever else is going on.
GUILLERMO:
I don't know.
I have a really bad feeling
about this.
Do you think home really
is "where the wine is"?
I want it to be accurate
for my man cave.
Yes, I agree.
NANDOR:
There's a surprise.
Now, I think we all know
what to do.
All right, gang, you've had
time to think it over.
And now it's decision time.
Are you ready
to "embrace your space"?
Or do you want to tell this
son of a B to "go flip off"?
There's just no storage space
for me to do my business.
Let me get this... Oh, sorry.
A gold toilet?
I have a really bad feeling
about this.
Um...
We've decided to...
ALL THREE:
Embrace our space!
Yes! That is music to my ears.
I promise you're gonna
love this place
so much more
when we're finished with it.
And we're gonna
up your curb appeal
by re-sodding the lawn
and the backyard
Oh, re-sodding, hey?
Y-You're gonna dig
up the-the backyard?
Yeah, I'm an expert
at landscaping.
Meanwhile, my brother
likes to spend his time
manscaping.
- Boom!
- (laughter)
I don't know what that means,
but (bleep) Toby, right?
Yeah, he gets it. All right,
what are we doing standing
around here? We've got
to get to... ♪ Work. ♪
- Let's go!
- Hey! Get to work!
This gang, they keep
some pretty unusual hours,
working for the railroad
and owning the nightclub.
So we're gonna pull some
all-nighters here, you betcha!
Yeah!
Guillermo, go for it!
Yeah, love it!
♪ Hear the thunder... ♪
Yeah! Wow!
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
♪ Can you hear the thunder? ♪
♪ Can you hear
the thunder? ♪
♪ Gotta hold your head up ♪
♪ Let it all explode ♪
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
♪ Yeah, the time is now ♪
♪ Give it all you got ♪
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
♪ Until there's nothing left ♪
♪ You've got
to let it all go now ♪
♪ Hear the thunder. ♪
- Hey!
- Bran!
Wow, man cave
really coming together, huh?
- Yes.
- I'm almost finished over here,
then moving onto the door,
honey.
Don't forget to put
the lock on it.
You got it, honey.
Uh, check out this bar.
What?
This is an entertainer's dream.
Nandor, I want you
to picture this right now, okay?
The guys are over.
They're hanging out.
- Okay, I am picturing it.
- Mm-hmm.
I could be over here
at the bar counter.
And then one of the guys would
come right behind me and...
(grunting)
Yeah, mm-hmm.
We could put a little skylight
in the floor there,
and look through it
and see Guillermo on the toilet.
Oh, no, we don't need
a skylight in the bathroom.
Nonsense, clear sight lines
are what buyers are looking for
these days, right, Bran?
Hey, who's the host
of this show, this guy or me?
(laughs)
I love it.
You know what I also love?
Look at this distressed wood.
I mean, it's giving everyone
the shabby chic look
that I know that you love...
- Meets French country.
- Thank you very much.
And how about
the whimsical seating?
Have we talked about it yet?
I don't think we have.
- Get down in it, brother.
- NANDOR: This?
- That's for you.
- No.
- This is your throne.
- GUILLERMO: It's not a dog bed?
Give it test spin right now.
You're gonna love it.
- No, he doesn't really get comfortable so eas...
- Here we go.
- Oh!
- How perfect is that?
- Pretty perfect, Bran.
- Yeah!
NARRATOR: But the project wasn't
a smooth ride from beginning to end.
Bran got a call from the City
Building Inspector's office
about the permits,
and the news was... not good.
No, no, I understand.
It's just that we've done
over 150 of these renovations,
and this issue has
never come up before.
MALE VOICE:
Sir, they don't pay me enough
to fight with you, okay?
I'm sorry,
but that's just where
the situation currently stands.
All right? So you're just gonna
have to take it up with...
- Son of a B!
- Sir?
Oh, guys... (groans)
I'm so sorry to report this.
But I just got off the phone
with the City Building
Inspector's office.
- And I've got some bad news.
- Bad news?!
♪ ♪
(gasps)
With the City Building
Inspector's office.
And I got some bad news.
- Bad news?
- I'm afraid so.
Apparently Guillermo's room does
not meet the legal requirements
to call it a room.
The legal term is
"hidey hole"
or a "rat's studio."
That's okay,
I really don't mind.
What the (bleep) does that mean?
I'll tell you what
the F it means, L-Train.
It means that we gotta now
reallocate this budget
to get Guillermo's room
up to code.
No, no, no. No one needs
to make a big fuss.
(bleep) his room.
What the (bleep) are
our options, B-boy?
Well, I love the passion.
I'm gonna get on that couch,
and show you what we got, okay?
Open this up, and show you guys
what I worked up. Gather in.
Now if we eliminate
Nadja's gold toilet...
- (gasps) Eat (bleep)!
- Hang on a second.
If we eliminate it,
we can open up that wall,
and create a ventilation system
for Guillermo.
What the (bleep) is this,
Club Med?
We need the gold toilet!
Hang on a second, 'cause
we're also going to have to...
eliminated Nandor's
custom sign that says,
- "Home is where the wine is."
- Get (bleep)!
Because can then
close the open septic tank,
which apparently is pooling
underneath Guillermo's bed.
Well, I guess
if there's no other way...
NARRATOR: And finally even
grouchy Guillermo was grinning.
Meanwhile,
Marwa's got a surprise
that even I haven't seen yet.
NARRATOR:
Only midway through renovations,
but Marwa was working
around the clock.
You think he's ready?
- You ready? Let's do it.
- Ready.
And voilà!
(chuckling):
Okay, all right.
- Wow.
- Wow!
BRAN:
Wow, wow.
Are you looking at this?
Incredible.
- Wow.
- BRAN: Tiny plant, hello.
Look at this, decorative balls?
- You can't go wrong with those.
- NANDOR: I love balls.
- I love balls, too.
- BRAN: I love balls, too.
And who wants to belly
up to the bar?
Saddle up, giddy up!
Let's get up to the bar.
- NANDOR: John would've loved those.
- Right.
I love how the colors
on the rug are just playing
with the new hardwoods,
And then look
at the hoop right there.
NANDOR:
Oh, wow, my own court.
Do you like it, honey?
Do I like it?
I really love it.
- Yes!
- I think it's so great!
Wait! Before you sit down,
let me make sure that the beans
are in the optimal position
for you.
Perfect. Can you...
make sure I did
a good job on the door?
I put a special lock
on there for you,
because I know how much
you love your alone time.
Looks pretty good to me.
The chevron pattern
and the wood grain
on this thing,
it's just beautiful. Okay.
(clicks) - I see you are trying
out the, uh, the lock action.
It's, uh...
- Marwa?
- It's soundproof, too.
You know, Bran, there was a time
me and Marwa,
we liked very different things.
- Mm-hmm.
- But then I made a wish
that we would like
the same things.
Now I think
that wish has come true.
I also think perhaps that
Marwa has been building
this man cave for herself.
Yeah.
♪ ♪
Down to the wire.
Crew is in there...
We're putting the finishing
touches on the house
for the big reveal,
and I cannot wait
to show the owners
their forever home.
All right, you knuckleheads,
are you ready
to find out
if this house is a flip
or if it's gonna be a flub?
- (whoops) -We're ready to flip.
- It's gonna be a flip. It's gonna be a flip.
All right, everyone...
remove your blindfolds!
♪ ♪
That is not our house.
That is not our
You're looking the wrong way,
that's our neighbor's house.
- This way.
- Oh, right, got ya.
Well?
- NANDOR: Hmm.
- This looks... the same.
All right, guys, what are we
waiting for? Let's get inside
- and bam, bam, bam!
- Let's do it. - (Laszlo laughs)
- BRAN: Let's go! Let's go!
- (Nadja whoops)
Come on in, and check out
your brand new dream home!
Yeah!
Everybody grab a figurative
straw and drink it in.
Right?
I'm speechless myself, gang.
Guys, get in the nooks
and crannies. Check it out!
♪ ♪
Ew...
- Huh?
- Wait, I thought you said you were going to completely...
Bran, I'm starting to think
that this flip might be a flub.
- What the (bleep)?!
- There's still
- sewage under my bed.
- That was a permitting issue.
There's still a tree
in the (bleep) fancy room!
Give my Bran boy a chance.
What are you talking about?!
This was his chance!
Guys, we're not finished yet.
'Cause the ol' Bran man
saved the best for last.
Follow me. Come on, gang.
You know, I might move in,
I love this place so much.
Ready?
I'm gonna welcome you
to your brand-new
walk-in closet.
- (bleep)
- Yeah!
♪ This is our home ♪
♪ Yet something has changed ♪
♪ Always never known... ♪
LASZLO:
This really is the knackers.
- Come here.
- Bring it in. Ooh!
BOTH:
Someone's excited. (Laughing)
Wait a second, I thought
this was supposed to be
a "his-and-hers" closet?
Change of plans, sweetie.
Live with it.
- What the (bleep)?
- LASZLO: Hold on a second.
Where the (bleep) is
my witch's skin hat?
NADJA:
Who gives a (bleep)?
You mean this witch's skin hat?
Oh! Ha-ha!
Simon the Devious,
I knew it was you.
- You bastard.
- No, you didn't.
GUILLERMO:
Oh, (bleep).
- Bran, do something.
- (Bran's voice): What do you want me to do,
ya knuckleheads?
- That's clever.
- I was talking to Bran.
You idiot, I am Bran.
What have you done with Bran?
Bran never existed.
It's always been me.
- (Nadja gasps) - So you mean...?
- Yes.
You...?
Did I create, pitch, sell
and produce 150 episodes
of Go Flip Yourself
for the sole purpose
of regaining access
to your home
here in New York City
that I might take
what is rightfully mine,
this witch's clit of a hat? Yes.
Yes, I did.
What, all those episodes,
all those marathons,
all those bed sheet sets
in the Daltry Brothers'
Daltry Living line?
Yes, it was all me. Well...
we partnered with Kohl's
for the Daltry Living line.
- Sellout!
- But the rest of it, all me.
(laughs)
All that just
for stealing my hat?
- Yes.
- NADJA: Wow.
(bleep) hell!
Well, I had a little help
from my friends.
(chuckles)
You remember my crew?
Big Vlad.
Blavglad the Exsanguinator.
- LASZLO: Oh, these pricks.
- Gunthrapple.
Wesley Sikes.
The Freak Sisters. Mr. '50s.
Evil Steve.
The wickedly talented
Adele Dazeem.
- LASZLO: Hello there.
- Freakfest Tony.
Hi, Tony, nice to see you again.
- The Silent One.
- Hey, guys, how's it going?
Just gonna keep it silent
for now, thank you.
He Who Shall Not Be Named...
but it's Greg.
His name is Greg.
Desdemona the Shrieker.
- (shrieking)
- (all clamoring)
That guy I still don't know.
And of course, the king himself,
Elvis.
Yeah, I always pretty good
with a hammer.
- Not very good with friendship.
- NADJA: Traitor!
Ronaldo the Elder.
There he is,
and who could forget
Ken the Zombie
of my Former Accountant.
Yes, he's also
the COO
of my production company.
And of course, my sound guy...
Count Rapula.
- No...
- Oh, not this guy...
(Count Rapula vocalizing)
♪ Hey, yo, I arose
from my tomb ♪
♪ With three lavs and a boom ♪
♪ And when you think
you're alone ♪
♪ I'm in your home ♪
♪ Getting room tone ♪
- No. No!
- ♪ Scary stories and fables ♪
- ♪ And XLR cables, my... ♪
- Okay, very good.
Thank you, Count Rapula.
I think we all get it.
Well, I killed Toby.
So looks like one of your crew
is dead.
Well, actually, Toby
wasn't one of our crew.
He was a regular guy.
He was a Navy flight instructor
with...
I want to say three?
- Three children without a father.
- NANDOR: Sad.
SIMON:
Well done!
Took me a while to get
to know him, earn his trust.
And then I pitched him the show.
And then I paid for him to study
design, architecture,
- and construction skills.
- GUILLERMO: Wait.
Why didn't you just find
someone who already knew
how to build houses?
'Cause for a show like this,
it's all about "it factor."
You really are
the most devious bastard
in New York City.
Well, we're not
in New York City.
We're in (bleep) Staten Island.
(hissing) - Which means
you're not worth (bleep).
You come in here, you pinch
my hat, you destroy my house
and you con me
into spending $2,000
- on these poufs.
- 2,000...?
I like the poufs.
Does no one like the poufs?
I don't mind the poufs.
You see, you're a dickhead
'cause you've just shown
your face onscreen, which means
this episode, Brainiac,
- cannot be televised.
- (Simon scoffs)
Do you have any ideas
who my viewers are?
They're people in airports
and hospital waiting rooms.
I once showed
a gaping, open asshole
for ten seconds,
- and I never heard a word about it.
- LASZLO: Yes.
It was Episode 73, "Ramshackle
Ranch," I do believe.
- You really watch the show.
- I do, yes.
- Oh, that means the world to me.
- Who cares?
Anyway, I've got
your witch's hat,
and I've got signed
release forms from each of you,
so you can expect
to see this episode
airing around the clock
about two years from now.
- (hisses)
- All right, let's roll, crew!
- (Nadja shouting)
- LASZLO: Whoa!
Get away!
- Go on!
- (glass shatters)
Later, losers.
Ow! (Bleep) me!
- Stupid prick can't even fly.
- NADJA: It's the (bleep) hat.
- It's not the hat.
- Reckon that hat's got some bad hoodoo in it, huh?
There's nothing wrong
with the hat, Elvis!
Later, losers... ow!
(bleep)
BRAN: And that's a wrap
on the Mixed-Up Mansion.
Hello? You can go, too.
BRAN: The job wasn't easy, but
the owners couldn't be happier.
LASZ
I can't believe
he came back for that.
- (overlapping chatter)
- What are you doing?
You got what you want.
- (bleep) off.
- This (bleep) is disgusting!
CAMERA OPERATOR:
Okay, but we still need to get
the pre-credits button.
What makes you think
we give a (bleep)
About the pre-credits button?
CAMERA OPERATOR: It's
just, if you don't, you won't get
your full payment
for the episode.
I think it comes out
to, like, $1,200.
- Oh, is it?
- Ooh, not too shabby.
NADJA:
What I will just say
is that now that Laszlo's
cursed hat is finally gone,
the fire that's always going on
in the boiler room has gone out.
Yes!
And the sewage flooding
in the basement
has dried up somewhat.
NANDOR:
Thank you, Go Flip Yourself.
And I'm pleased to report the
raccoons have stopped (bleep)
Under the sofa.
Well... most of them have.
(raccoons chittering)
(laughter)
NARRATOR: On the next
Go Flip Yourself,
Bran takes on his toughest
challenge yet.
And the electric stove top
wasn't really
working for you, was it Amanda?
- I mean, it worked.
- And that's why all
the real restaurant chefs...
Say it with me...
BOTH:
...only cook with gas.
Yeah! All right, let's fire
this baby up and make some
of your world-famous spaghetti,
huh?
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it!
♪ I'll make you a believer ♪
♪ Get off your knees ♪
♪ You got the power to be ♪
♪ What you want to be ♪
♪ Make you a believer ♪
♪ Make you a believer. ♪
BRAN AND TOBY:
Go Flip Yourself.
BRAN:
The sun may have just set,
but we're just getting started.
Which is fitting because we are
in the city that never sleeps.
Although, Toby here could use
a little more beauty sleep.
- Ouch, Bran.
- What?
Uh, we're twins, remember?
Hey, brothers.
Can't live with 'em...
Uh, I think you forgot to say,
"Can't live without 'em."
- Who says I forgot?
- Uh-oh.
Anyway, Bran and I
have seen the worst...
- Of the worst...
- ...of home disasters,
but today, we are here
in Staten Island...
♪ New York. ♪
- ♪ ♪
- (hammering)
- I'm Bran Daltry.
- And I'm Toby Daltry.
- And we're...
- BOTH: The Daltry Brothers.
- And this is...
- BOTH: Go Flip Yourself.
("Make You a Believer"
by Jez Pike playing)
BRAN:
I'm Bran,
and this knucklehead over here
is my brother Toby.
TOBY:
Hey.
Now, we may not get along
all the time,
but one thing we do agree on
is turning people's
dream homes into reality.
- ♪ I'll make you a believer... ♪
- (crying)
♪ Get off your knees ♪
♪ You've got the power
of being ♪
♪ What you want to be ♪
♪ Make you a believer ♪
(whistling)
(thud)
NARRATOR:
Staten Island, New York.
Home to the world famous
Staten Island Ferry,
a blossoming real estate market,
and the Daltry Brothers'
toughest challenge yet.
(whistles) Yikes, what a mess.
Hey, don't be so hard
on yourself, you knucklehead.
Bran, I was talking
about the house.
Take a look.
You got crumbling statues.
- BRAN: I see them.
- TOBY: You got overgrown lawn,
- and... (sniffs)
- BRAN: Mm-hmm.
What am I smelling?
Is that sulfur?
Yeah, I'm getting notes
of, uh... (sniffs)
...decomposing animals.
Pee-yew-y.
Yeah, I think someone should
call an exterminator, too.
Hey, it's nothing a little
brotherly love can't fix,
- so...
- BOTH: Whoa.
- Look out. Wow.
- What is that?
That is a big bone.
Yeah, I hope the big dog
that buried this one
- is a friendly fella.
- (barking)
Now, the owners
of this house have
- no idea that we're here.
- Doesn't matter.
They were told to keep
the door unlocked,
so that the "power company"
could "check the meter."
And y'all know what that means.
BOTH:
It's ambush time!
- Come on.
- (cackling)
Okay.
Who's ready to get down
and dirty
and a little bit flirty?
What the (bleep)?
(bleep) (bleep)
- Am I on Go Flip Yourself?
- Yes, you are.
(laughs)
My name's Laszlo.
I'm such a fan.
- My name's Bran. Ah.
- I know who you are.
- Initially, the twins aspect...
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- ...confused me slightly.
- It does a lot of people.
- And then I watched three seasons...
- Yeah?
...and then I realized that, uh,
- you're both very different.
- Sure.
In posture and personality.
BRAN:
We need to fix this house.
LASZLO: Tell me about it. I
sent my tape in months ago.
NARRATOR:
Bran and Toby certainly have
their hands full with the
quirky owners and decor
of this mixed-up mansion.
All right, guys, so little bit
of a hiccup out the gates.
My brother Toby's
a little under the weather,
so he's gonna sit this one out.
I mean, typical Toby, right?
Leaving all the hard work
for this guy to do.
But when they saw
how down we were
about Toby taking a sick day,
the owners of this house...
And I'm just gonna
say this about them...
They are very spiritual people.
They led me and the whole crew
on a very special
guided meditation, you know,
just to re-center us.
And you will forget
that Toby is dead,
and that he was murdered by me.
A girl has got to eat.
And, instead, you will think
that he is just
temporarily sick. (Vocalizes)
Hashtag it worked.
So, now... (chuckles)
...we got to get back
to the task at hand,
and, oh, boy, it's a doozy.
Plus, we just want Toby
to be proud of this episode
when he sees it, after
he shakes off the mild flu.
NARRATOR:
When the owners first saw this
8,474-square-foot home,
it was love at first sight.
And that was so long ago,
they say
they can't even remember
when they first moved in.
But since then,
things have changed.
Railroad employee
and part-time graphic designer,
- Laszlo...
- I wish I could get this
printer to work.
NARRATOR: ...hates
living in this dated house
that lacks adequate storage
space for him and his nephew
- Colin.
- (laughs) Bang!
What have I told you
about touching my hat?
- Pow!
- LASZLO: To be blunt,
this house is a (bleep)hole.
And I think only
Bran and Toby are capable
of helping us
"embrace our space."
- Go on, bugger off.
- LASZLO: To quote the brothers themselves,
from episode 113,
"Midcentury Mess,"
"This house is all kinds of
Frank Lloyd Wrong."
(laughs)
NARRATOR:
Nandor and Marwa are newlyweds
with a passion for cooking,
but without enough space
- in their cramped kitchen.
- Sorry.
And they can't seem
to agree on how to make
their master bedroom
their happily ever after.
So, yes, we are
technically newlyweds,
but it feels like we've
been together forever.
I would describe my style
as French country
meets shabby chic.
And I would describe my style
as French country
meets shabby chic.
But I also like modern.
I like to have an indoor sink,
a floor that is not dirt.
Me, too. I like everything
that he likes.
So, if he says that
we need a change...
Change is not always
a good thing.
I mean, sometimes,
you make too many changes,
and then, before you know it,
you realize what
you thought you wanted
is, in fact, very annoying.
NARRATOR: Guillermo and
Nadja have their hands full
running a successful nightclub,
and when they come home
to these cramped
- living quarters...
- Where is the (bleep) thing?
NARRATOR:
...tensions can run hot.
The thingy-thing. The thing
that controls... (stammers)
- ...the heat at the nightclub.
- GUILLERMO: A thermostat key.
- Right?
- NADJA: Yes.
It's on a chain
around your neck.
Nice try.
(clears throat)
- Whew, this is a big house.
- Yeah.
Okay, guys, let's talk about
design options
within your budget.
- Great.
- Now, here's the question:
How much are you guys
comfortable spending
in order to give
this old house a...
(whistles)
...facelift?
All of it.
All our life's savings.
- Whatever you need, you knucklehead.
- You're the knucklehead.
- You're the (bleep) knucklehead.
- Who you calling a knucklehead?
- (laughs)
- Look at this. (Laughs)
- Where'd you get that shirt?
- What?
Where-Where'd you get
your shirt?
From a shop. (Bleep) off.
BRAN: Okay, we're
getting a little off track here.
Let's focus, guys,
'cause, clearly,
this living room
is not working for anyone.
What the (bleep) is that
supposed to mean? Some of us
happen to like
waterlogged mahogany
and soaking wet pillows
that smell of cheese
- and moldy stuffed bears. Thank you.
- BRAN: Yeah...
Clearly, we're not nuts
about the full-size tree
that fell through
the wall. (Chuckles)
Left a gigantic hole
where raccoons and squirrels
can just come and go
and nest in our furniture, so...
I don't know, I don't mind it.
As you can see, I
gave that a bit of a trim
using the Milwaukee M18 Fuel
Lithium-Ion chainsaw,
used in your commercials.
"Milwaukee,
nothing but heavy duty."
(clicks tongue)
Home renovations can be
an emotional process.
- Let's do it.
- BRAN: Now, I have to convince the owners that
we're not here to destroy
their memories,
we're here to help them
make new ones.
♪ ♪
Okay
And, boom, we knock out
all the walls.
Make an open concept
first floor.
It's gonna create much better
flow and, most importantly,
it's gonna bring in tons
of natural light.
- I love it, it's perfect.
- BRAN: Thank you.
- I don't think that's perfect.
- BRAN: And...
we can also get rid of this
dated and awkward storage
and replace it with a master
his-and-hers mega-closet. Yeah.
- Fantastic.
- With custom shelves
for all of Nadja's shoes
and her doll.
Plus, a dedicated hat wall
with hat racks for all
of Laszlo's dope hats.
That cannot be our house.
You're right,
that cannot be our house.
- This fella is the knackers.
- Thank you.
Now, let's talk about
that unfinished attic.
I think we should reimagine it
as a spacious master suite
slash love nest
for Nandor and Marwa.
It doesn't matter how many
changes you make to something.
- The novelty eventually wears off.
- Mm.
- I agree with my husband.
- (sighs)
NANDOR:
But I do like
that sign about home
being where the wine is.
- Okay. There is another option.
- MARWA: Me, too.
In this option,
you can keep
your current bedroom...
- NANDOR: Mm.
- ...and we reimagine the attic
as a dedicated
"man cave" for Nandor.
- Man cave?
- BRAN: Yeah.
NANDOR:
What is a man cave?
Man cave is where
you do your man stuff.
So, there are no women allowed
in this man cave?
Hey, it's your space up there,
- you do with it what you please.
- Great.
Guess what?
I hate all of that. That attic
is full of very precious,
treasured memories
of us putting all
of our trash up there.
Also, we do not need
a wall of hat hooks.
Laszlo only has one hat,
and it's bloody cursed!
Correction, my darling,
I have five hats.
I have the one
she's referring to,
which she doesn't like
for some unknown reason.
- (groans) - It's actually very cool.
- I'm sure it is.
It might be made out of witch
skin and has an asshole on it,
but I look fantastic wearing it.
And another is a yellow ball cap
with the message across it,
- "Absolut Aces..."
- Ooh, where'd you get that?
...which was a gift
from the 2006 movie premiere
of the movie
- BOTH: Smokin' Aces.
- You know the film?
- I love it. It's classic.
- Well, I've never worn it.
Where you going, Nadja? I got
something special for you, too.
Check this out.
No home would be complete
without a serene master bath
fit for a queen.
I don't care about any of this.
Uh, do you care
about a gold toilet?
Bang!
(clears throat)
A gold toilet?
Queen's got to have her throne,
am I right, guys?
You can't even take a (bleep).
I will take a (bleep)
if I want to take a (bleep).
Stop trying to water down
my brand. (Hisses)
I've given the owners
a lot to think about.
Now it's time to let them
talk it over.
I really don't think
this kind of public exposure
is good for us.
I really think that
we should just let these guys
paint a wall or two
and get them out of here.
"These guys"?
Bran and Toby are artisans.
They're craftspeople.
Toby is dead, okay?
And it's only a matter of time
before someone notices.
No, are you not paying attention
to my very
comprehensive hypnosis?
And no one watching this footage
will notice
that we are vampires.
Not the editors,
not the editors' assistants,
not the sound mixers,
not the, uh...
Who else is there?
Color correctors,
current executives,
Standards & Practices
occasionally looks
at a rough cut.
A producer's girlfriend named
Wendy one time gave notes,
and now she gives notes
on all the cuts.
- Then there are...
- Okay, okay, I get it.
Yes. All of those nerds, too.
Also you will put the bit
that I am saying in now
as a flashback and then
cut back to the main story
of whatever else is going on.
GUILLERMO:
I don't know.
I have a really bad feeling
about this.
Do you think home really
is "where the wine is"?
I want it to be accurate
for my man cave.
Yes, I agree.
NANDOR:
There's a surprise.
Now, I think we all know
what to do.
All right, gang, you've had
time to think it over.
And now it's decision time.
Are you ready
to "embrace your space"?
Or do you want to tell this
son of a B to "go flip off"?
There's just no storage space
for me to do my business.
Let me get this... Oh, sorry.
A gold toilet?
I have a really bad feeling
about this.
Um...
We've decided to...
ALL THREE:
Embrace our space!
Yes! That is music to my ears.
I promise you're gonna
love this place
so much more
when we're finished with it.
And we're gonna
up your curb appeal
by re-sodding the lawn
and the backyard
Oh, re-sodding, hey?
Y-You're gonna dig
up the-the backyard?
Yeah, I'm an expert
at landscaping.
Meanwhile, my brother
likes to spend his time
manscaping.
- Boom!
- (laughter)
I don't know what that means,
but (bleep) Toby, right?
Yeah, he gets it. All right,
what are we doing standing
around here? We've got
to get to... ♪ Work. ♪
- Let's go!
- Hey! Get to work!
This gang, they keep
some pretty unusual hours,
working for the railroad
and owning the nightclub.
So we're gonna pull some
all-nighters here, you betcha!
Yeah!
Guillermo, go for it!
Yeah, love it!
♪ Hear the thunder... ♪
Yeah! Wow!
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
♪ Can you hear the thunder? ♪
♪ Can you hear
the thunder? ♪
♪ Gotta hold your head up ♪
♪ Let it all explode ♪
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
♪ Yeah, the time is now ♪
♪ Give it all you got ♪
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
♪ Until there's nothing left ♪
♪ You've got
to let it all go now ♪
♪ Hear the thunder. ♪
- Hey!
- Bran!
Wow, man cave
really coming together, huh?
- Yes.
- I'm almost finished over here,
then moving onto the door,
honey.
Don't forget to put
the lock on it.
You got it, honey.
Uh, check out this bar.
What?
This is an entertainer's dream.
Nandor, I want you
to picture this right now, okay?
The guys are over.
They're hanging out.
- Okay, I am picturing it.
- Mm-hmm.
I could be over here
at the bar counter.
And then one of the guys would
come right behind me and...
(grunting)
Yeah, mm-hmm.
We could put a little skylight
in the floor there,
and look through it
and see Guillermo on the toilet.
Oh, no, we don't need
a skylight in the bathroom.
Nonsense, clear sight lines
are what buyers are looking for
these days, right, Bran?
Hey, who's the host
of this show, this guy or me?
(laughs)
I love it.
You know what I also love?
Look at this distressed wood.
I mean, it's giving everyone
the shabby chic look
that I know that you love...
- Meets French country.
- Thank you very much.
And how about
the whimsical seating?
Have we talked about it yet?
I don't think we have.
- Get down in it, brother.
- NANDOR: This?
- That's for you.
- No.
- This is your throne.
- GUILLERMO: It's not a dog bed?
Give it test spin right now.
You're gonna love it.
- No, he doesn't really get comfortable so eas...
- Here we go.
- Oh!
- How perfect is that?
- Pretty perfect, Bran.
- Yeah!
NARRATOR: But the project wasn't
a smooth ride from beginning to end.
Bran got a call from the City
Building Inspector's office
about the permits,
and the news was... not good.
No, no, I understand.
It's just that we've done
over 150 of these renovations,
and this issue has
never come up before.
MALE VOICE:
Sir, they don't pay me enough
to fight with you, okay?
I'm sorry,
but that's just where
the situation currently stands.
All right? So you're just gonna
have to take it up with...
- Son of a B!
- Sir?
Oh, guys... (groans)
I'm so sorry to report this.
But I just got off the phone
with the City Building
Inspector's office.
- And I've got some bad news.
- Bad news?!
♪ ♪
(gasps)
With the City Building
Inspector's office.
And I got some bad news.
- Bad news?
- I'm afraid so.
Apparently Guillermo's room does
not meet the legal requirements
to call it a room.
The legal term is
"hidey hole"
or a "rat's studio."
That's okay,
I really don't mind.
What the (bleep) does that mean?
I'll tell you what
the F it means, L-Train.
It means that we gotta now
reallocate this budget
to get Guillermo's room
up to code.
No, no, no. No one needs
to make a big fuss.
(bleep) his room.
What the (bleep) are
our options, B-boy?
Well, I love the passion.
I'm gonna get on that couch,
and show you what we got, okay?
Open this up, and show you guys
what I worked up. Gather in.
Now if we eliminate
Nadja's gold toilet...
- (gasps) Eat (bleep)!
- Hang on a second.
If we eliminate it,
we can open up that wall,
and create a ventilation system
for Guillermo.
What the (bleep) is this,
Club Med?
We need the gold toilet!
Hang on a second, 'cause
we're also going to have to...
eliminated Nandor's
custom sign that says,
- "Home is where the wine is."
- Get (bleep)!
Because can then
close the open septic tank,
which apparently is pooling
underneath Guillermo's bed.
Well, I guess
if there's no other way...
NARRATOR: And finally even
grouchy Guillermo was grinning.
Meanwhile,
Marwa's got a surprise
that even I haven't seen yet.
NARRATOR:
Only midway through renovations,
but Marwa was working
around the clock.
You think he's ready?
- You ready? Let's do it.
- Ready.
And voilà!
(chuckling):
Okay, all right.
- Wow.
- Wow!
BRAN:
Wow, wow.
Are you looking at this?
Incredible.
- Wow.
- BRAN: Tiny plant, hello.
Look at this, decorative balls?
- You can't go wrong with those.
- NANDOR: I love balls.
- I love balls, too.
- BRAN: I love balls, too.
And who wants to belly
up to the bar?
Saddle up, giddy up!
Let's get up to the bar.
- NANDOR: John would've loved those.
- Right.
I love how the colors
on the rug are just playing
with the new hardwoods,
And then look
at the hoop right there.
NANDOR:
Oh, wow, my own court.
Do you like it, honey?
Do I like it?
I really love it.
- Yes!
- I think it's so great!
Wait! Before you sit down,
let me make sure that the beans
are in the optimal position
for you.
Perfect. Can you...
make sure I did
a good job on the door?
I put a special lock
on there for you,
because I know how much
you love your alone time.
Looks pretty good to me.
The chevron pattern
and the wood grain
on this thing,
it's just beautiful. Okay.
(clicks) - I see you are trying
out the, uh, the lock action.
It's, uh...
- Marwa?
- It's soundproof, too.
You know, Bran, there was a time
me and Marwa,
we liked very different things.
- Mm-hmm.
- But then I made a wish
that we would like
the same things.
Now I think
that wish has come true.
I also think perhaps that
Marwa has been building
this man cave for herself.
Yeah.
♪ ♪
Down to the wire.
Crew is in there...
We're putting the finishing
touches on the house
for the big reveal,
and I cannot wait
to show the owners
their forever home.
All right, you knuckleheads,
are you ready
to find out
if this house is a flip
or if it's gonna be a flub?
- (whoops) -We're ready to flip.
- It's gonna be a flip. It's gonna be a flip.
All right, everyone...
remove your blindfolds!
♪ ♪
That is not our house.
That is not our
You're looking the wrong way,
that's our neighbor's house.
- This way.
- Oh, right, got ya.
Well?
- NANDOR: Hmm.
- This looks... the same.
All right, guys, what are we
waiting for? Let's get inside
- and bam, bam, bam!
- Let's do it. - (Laszlo laughs)
- BRAN: Let's go! Let's go!
- (Nadja whoops)
Come on in, and check out
your brand new dream home!
Yeah!
Everybody grab a figurative
straw and drink it in.
Right?
I'm speechless myself, gang.
Guys, get in the nooks
and crannies. Check it out!
♪ ♪
Ew...
- Huh?
- Wait, I thought you said you were going to completely...
Bran, I'm starting to think
that this flip might be a flub.
- What the (bleep)?!
- There's still
- sewage under my bed.
- That was a permitting issue.
There's still a tree
in the (bleep) fancy room!
Give my Bran boy a chance.
What are you talking about?!
This was his chance!
Guys, we're not finished yet.
'Cause the ol' Bran man
saved the best for last.
Follow me. Come on, gang.
You know, I might move in,
I love this place so much.
Ready?
I'm gonna welcome you
to your brand-new
walk-in closet.
- (bleep)
- Yeah!
♪ This is our home ♪
♪ Yet something has changed ♪
♪ Always never known... ♪
LASZLO:
This really is the knackers.
- Come here.
- Bring it in. Ooh!
BOTH:
Someone's excited. (Laughing)
Wait a second, I thought
this was supposed to be
a "his-and-hers" closet?
Change of plans, sweetie.
Live with it.
- What the (bleep)?
- LASZLO: Hold on a second.
Where the (bleep) is
my witch's skin hat?
NADJA:
Who gives a (bleep)?
You mean this witch's skin hat?
Oh! Ha-ha!
Simon the Devious,
I knew it was you.
- You bastard.
- No, you didn't.
GUILLERMO:
Oh, (bleep).
- Bran, do something.
- (Bran's voice): What do you want me to do,
ya knuckleheads?
- That's clever.
- I was talking to Bran.
You idiot, I am Bran.
What have you done with Bran?
Bran never existed.
It's always been me.
- (Nadja gasps) - So you mean...?
- Yes.
You...?
Did I create, pitch, sell
and produce 150 episodes
of Go Flip Yourself
for the sole purpose
of regaining access
to your home
here in New York City
that I might take
what is rightfully mine,
this witch's clit of a hat? Yes.
Yes, I did.
What, all those episodes,
all those marathons,
all those bed sheet sets
in the Daltry Brothers'
Daltry Living line?
Yes, it was all me. Well...
we partnered with Kohl's
for the Daltry Living line.
- Sellout!
- But the rest of it, all me.
(laughs)
All that just
for stealing my hat?
- Yes.
- NADJA: Wow.
(bleep) hell!
Well, I had a little help
from my friends.
(chuckles)
You remember my crew?
Big Vlad.
Blavglad the Exsanguinator.
- LASZLO: Oh, these pricks.
- Gunthrapple.
Wesley Sikes.
The Freak Sisters. Mr. '50s.
Evil Steve.
The wickedly talented
Adele Dazeem.
- LASZLO: Hello there.
- Freakfest Tony.
Hi, Tony, nice to see you again.
- The Silent One.
- Hey, guys, how's it going?
Just gonna keep it silent
for now, thank you.
He Who Shall Not Be Named...
but it's Greg.
His name is Greg.
Desdemona the Shrieker.
- (shrieking)
- (all clamoring)
That guy I still don't know.
And of course, the king himself,
Elvis.
Yeah, I always pretty good
with a hammer.
- Not very good with friendship.
- NADJA: Traitor!
Ronaldo the Elder.
There he is,
and who could forget
Ken the Zombie
of my Former Accountant.
Yes, he's also
the COO
of my production company.
And of course, my sound guy...
Count Rapula.
- No...
- Oh, not this guy...
(Count Rapula vocalizing)
♪ Hey, yo, I arose
from my tomb ♪
♪ With three lavs and a boom ♪
♪ And when you think
you're alone ♪
♪ I'm in your home ♪
♪ Getting room tone ♪
- No. No!
- ♪ Scary stories and fables ♪
- ♪ And XLR cables, my... ♪
- Okay, very good.
Thank you, Count Rapula.
I think we all get it.
Well, I killed Toby.
So looks like one of your crew
is dead.
Well, actually, Toby
wasn't one of our crew.
He was a regular guy.
He was a Navy flight instructor
with...
I want to say three?
- Three children without a father.
- NANDOR: Sad.
SIMON:
Well done!
Took me a while to get
to know him, earn his trust.
And then I pitched him the show.
And then I paid for him to study
design, architecture,
- and construction skills.
- GUILLERMO: Wait.
Why didn't you just find
someone who already knew
how to build houses?
'Cause for a show like this,
it's all about "it factor."
You really are
the most devious bastard
in New York City.
Well, we're not
in New York City.
We're in (bleep) Staten Island.
(hissing) - Which means
you're not worth (bleep).
You come in here, you pinch
my hat, you destroy my house
and you con me
into spending $2,000
- on these poufs.
- 2,000...?
I like the poufs.
Does no one like the poufs?
I don't mind the poufs.
You see, you're a dickhead
'cause you've just shown
your face onscreen, which means
this episode, Brainiac,
- cannot be televised.
- (Simon scoffs)
Do you have any ideas
who my viewers are?
They're people in airports
and hospital waiting rooms.
I once showed
a gaping, open asshole
for ten seconds,
- and I never heard a word about it.
- LASZLO: Yes.
It was Episode 73, "Ramshackle
Ranch," I do believe.
- You really watch the show.
- I do, yes.
- Oh, that means the world to me.
- Who cares?
Anyway, I've got
your witch's hat,
and I've got signed
release forms from each of you,
so you can expect
to see this episode
airing around the clock
about two years from now.
- (hisses)
- All right, let's roll, crew!
- (Nadja shouting)
- LASZLO: Whoa!
Get away!
- Go on!
- (glass shatters)
Later, losers.
Ow! (Bleep) me!
- Stupid prick can't even fly.
- NADJA: It's the (bleep) hat.
- It's not the hat.
- Reckon that hat's got some bad hoodoo in it, huh?
There's nothing wrong
with the hat, Elvis!
Later, losers... ow!
(bleep)
BRAN: And that's a wrap
on the Mixed-Up Mansion.
Hello? You can go, too.
BRAN: The job wasn't easy, but
the owners couldn't be happier.
LASZ
I can't believe
he came back for that.
- (overlapping chatter)
- What are you doing?
You got what you want.
- (bleep) off.
- This (bleep) is disgusting!
CAMERA OPERATOR:
Okay, but we still need to get
the pre-credits button.
What makes you think
we give a (bleep)
About the pre-credits button?
CAMERA OPERATOR: It's
just, if you don't, you won't get
your full payment
for the episode.
I think it comes out
to, like, $1,200.
- Oh, is it?
- Ooh, not too shabby.
NADJA:
What I will just say
is that now that Laszlo's
cursed hat is finally gone,
the fire that's always going on
in the boiler room has gone out.
Yes!
And the sewage flooding
in the basement
has dried up somewhat.
NANDOR:
Thank you, Go Flip Yourself.
And I'm pleased to report the
raccoons have stopped (bleep)
Under the sofa.
Well... most of them have.
(raccoons chittering)
(laughter)
NARRATOR: On the next
Go Flip Yourself,
Bran takes on his toughest
challenge yet.
And the electric stove top
wasn't really
working for you, was it Amanda?
- I mean, it worked.
- And that's why all
the real restaurant chefs...
Say it with me...
BOTH:
...only cook with gas.
Yeah! All right, let's fire
this baby up and make some
of your world-famous spaghetti,
huh?
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it!
♪ I'll make you a believer ♪
♪ Get off your knees ♪
♪ You got the power to be ♪
♪ What you want to be ♪
♪ Make you a believer ♪
♪ Make you a believer. ♪
BRAN AND TOBY:
Go Flip Yourself.