Wellington Paranormal (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Fear the Briannas - full transcript
We're currently responding
to a shoplifting incident
which may or may not be
paranormal in origin.
That's right. As my partner has pointed out,
we're currently attending a shoplifting incident
that may or may not be
paranormal in origin.
You just said word
for word what I said.
As my partner has pointed out, I just
repeated exactly what she said, so...
Urn, so, just let us know - what
happened, again? Right from the start.
The food from the shelves -
it's gone.
Excuse me, sir? It's just
like it, like, stole itself.
What kind of food was it?
just, like, chippies.
Two packs of chippies. Chippies. Two
times chippies. (PENCIL SCRATCHING)
Yeah. I- So, when you say 'stole
itself', what do you mean?
I'd say it just, like, floated off the
shelves, just like that, out of the door.
When you say 'floated out of the door', do you mean
you ate them? No. I was standing right here...
Right. ...and the chips were just right
there, and just gone, like that.
Right. Cos I've had chippies before
and they've been gone just like that,
but then it's turned out
I've eaten them.
Yeah, but that's different to floating. We're
just, obviously, trying to ascertain how
a packet of chippies
could, in fact, float.
(PLASTIC RUSTLES) Oh, look- Look at the
chips! Like, they're just floating.
Freeze!
Oh, get 'em, O'Leary!
I'm pursuing the chippies!
Chips are escaping.
In pursuit. In pursuit.
Freeze. Freeze!
They're in the road.
('WELLINGTON PARANORMAL' THEME)
Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Cameron Grigg.
Captions were made with the
support of NZ On Air.
____________________________________________
(SIGHS) Do you have a theory?
Tell him our theory. Is
this the bird one? Yep.
OK, it's not our theory; it's his theory.
So, there's a theory that
these birds have walked
into the shop,
they've gotten into chippie packets
- their own chippie packets -
they've eaten the potato chips, they've been startled,
and they've begun flying around in the dairy.
We talked about this theory. Yup.
That wings would have to be
on the outside. But there's
room in the empty chip packet,
because all of the chippies
are gone.
It doesn't make any sense, Minogue.
They're not in a vacuum any longer.
It's a work in progress, but it's a theory.
It's not gonna work.
We should maybe think
of another possible avenue.
I thought maybe telekinesis.
(SCOFFS) Those guys are so annoying.
They always call when you're eating your dinner.
Every time. That's, urn, telemarketers.
Telekinesis, Minogue, or psychokinesis, is
the ability to move objects with one's mind.
Wow.
(EERIE MUSIC)
Wh-What are you doing, Sarge?
Uh, nothing.
Let's go see if we can
enhance the CCTV footage.
(EERIE MUSIC)
All right, are you coming, Sarge?
Yep. Yep.
Parker, we're in need of
some of your IT expertise.
Can you enhance this footage?
Um, I can make it bigger.
Yes, but can you enhance it?
Well, you just have to do this.
Good. Good. Enhance again.
And enhance.
That's as far as it goes.
Ah, OK. Can you zoom it in for me?
Um...
Yeah. Zooming. Mm-hm. And again.
Zooming.
I'm zooming too, so-
Back, back, back!
Back, back. Back it up.
And freeze-frame.
Have a look at this, guys.
Pan left.
(CHAIR SQUEAKS)
Hang on. Look at that!
Coconut yoghurt?
No, no, no, not that -
in the reflection.
Somebody's there. I know that uniform.
That's my old school uniform.
Well, how did they get it? That's just
the same as my old school uniform.
It looks like O'Leary was right -
telekinesis.
Also, you didn't hear any of this,
Parker, all right?
Delete.
Let's go.
(SIRENS WAIL)
So, we're here at the school. Yeah, we've got a
really solid lead on who stole the chippies.
Yeah, it could be one of the approximately
840 students that goes here.
That's right, so we're gonna meet with the principal
and see if she can shed some light on the subject
and inform us if any of her students have
been exhibiting telekinetic powers of late.
Mm.
Was this an all-girls' school
when you went? Yeah. Mm.
That must've been stink.
If this is about the library,
everything's absolutely fine.
No problem at all, really. (LAUGHS) No,
no, we're not here about that, ma'am.
Uh, what happened to the library?
Ah- Oh, just a little implosion, just
in a very unpopular section of books,
and no students were harmed
in any way, shape or form.
Don't you mean ex-plosion?
Uh, no. No.
An explosion's big, damaging.
This was just very self-contained -
a little pop, really. just, um, something
to really just keep under our hats.
This is the library, isn't it?
I remember. Uh, yes,
b-but, um, do you really
wanna go in there? Yep.
Phew. I'm taking it this is
the site of the 'implosion',
as you called it. Yes, just a little pop.
just a little pop.
Well, I mean, I'd say maybe it's a bit more
than that, wouldn't you? No. No, no, no.
No. Really. I mean, look,
it's made quite a big mess.
I'd say it's definitely more of a bang
than a pop, wouldn't you? A bang?
No. A pop. This kind of mess around,
you should have the doors...
It's a pop. ...closed and locked as well.
I said it's a pop.
Also, we'd, you know, appreciate
it if you don't shout at us, OK?
We're just trying to ascertain what's been going
on here, and- I'm the principal of this school.
I understand that. I'm the one who's in
charge here. Well, look, we're the police,
and actually, police are up here, see?
But principals.
Well, they're not
above the police, OK?
Police, teachers... I mean,
we are the letter of the law.
I beg to disagree.
Look, though - she's right, O'Leary.
Go again. (STAMMERS) Principals.
Principals are there?
No, Minogue, that's- There.
There. No, that's-
We're under the principal. It's
metaphorical. I just think... Students...
...you need to show more respect
for- ...teachers, police, principal.
I would put- The police are certainly
up here, OK? Well, it's changed now.
That's different to what
you had before. Yeah!
Well, I can't reach up that- You were
there. Well, I'm not as tall as him, OK?
And that- Anyway-
(PAGES FLUTTER)
I mean, should that
book be doing that?
Like, flapping its pages like that?
(GHOSTLY WHIRRS IS PE RING)
(BOOK SLAMS, WHISPERING STOPS) CHUCKLES:
Does get very breezy in here sometimes.
To be honest, Mrs Hopper, we're not really
interested in libraries or in library books.
We're here because we're
looking for a thief. What?
Possibly a bird. And O'Leary
had her school uniform stolen.
OK, look, it wasn't literally my school uniform,
but certainly, someone in a school uniform
that looked like it came from this
school has been shoplifting in the area.
None of my girls would break
the law, I can assure you, officers.
CHUCKLES: Everything is
totally fine! As it says on
our award-winning school quilt.
Voila le quilt.
As we've mentioned before,
the thieves that we are trying to find
were wearing your school uniform.
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
Sorry, I can't hear you.
Why can't you-?
LOUDLY: She's saying that the
person who committed the crime
was wearing the
school uniforms from here.
Look, there seem to be a lot of
injured students in your sick bay
at the moment.
There are a lot.
I would appreciate it if you
would just stay on topic -
or it's a detention for you,
police officer or no.
I think the topic is that there are a
lot of sick students in your sick bay.
I - I can't hear you.
Well, (CLAPS BRISKLY) chop-chop.
Time to go. Can I show you the door?
That'd be great.
Thanks so much for coming.
Haere ra!
She was absolutely...
(DOOR SLAMS) ...lovely.
Really? Don't you think?
Who were you listening to?
She was great.
Antagonistic.
So, Zara Archer,
she called Anna Horton the B-word.
Is that right? Yeah, she did.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
Yeah. And then Anna's retaliated,
and she's called Zara
the E-word.
Yeah.
Kia or a. Yo. Hi. Uh, we're just here, just
asking a few questions of some of the students.
There's been a... you know, a little
bit of shoplifting, and, um...
Heard of something about an implosion that
maybe happened in your school library?
Not really. Um...
Not... Not really?
Yeah. So, maybe, have you
heard a little bit about it?
A lot of the books ruined -
um, burnt. Ruined? OK, right.
(PENCIL SCRATCHING)
There was a few students
quite smouldered - like, hair.
Smould-? Yeah, like...
Smouldering hair?
Yeah, like- Smells terrible,
doesn't it, that? Yeah.
Uh, were you in the library when
the implosion happened? No.
OK, so you've just heard about
it from other students? Yeah.
Have you heard anything else - about
stealing things? Uh, not stealing things.
No?
No.
SOFTLY: There were a few things flying
around in the, um, computer room yesterday -
just hovering. Like, some of
the mouses and the keypads.
I - I think I've...
I think I've said too much.
There's no such thing as too much talking
to a police officer, OK? I- I ...
I just- I need to go. OK, all right.
Thank you. Bye.
(EERIE MUSIC)
See, when I was a student here and you wanted the
real information, you came to the girls' toilets.
I'm not going in. Why not?
Cos it's a girls' toilet,
not a boys' toilet. Well, there is
no boys' toilets at a girls' school.
Come on. I'm not gonna start going
into girls' toilets at my age.
I'll go and do recon, OK?
I'll check it's clear.
You let me know.
Yep.
(WATER RUNS)
Hello? Anyone in here?
(RT CRACKLES) O'LEARY: Yeah, Minogue,
the toilets are empty. Over.
(RT BEEPS) That was too fast.
Over. Have a better look.
(RT BEEPS) Look, there's no one in here.
Over, Minogue.
I can see someone in there.
(RT CRACKLES) That's me, Minogue. just
come into the toilet now, Minogue.
(RT BEEPS)
Travelling.
(DOOR SHUTS) There's no urinal in here.
It's a girls' toilet.
Look, this is what I'm talking about.
'Tash and Raz forever'?
I know Tash and Raz, and they've broken up.
How do you know that?
Some of the girls were telling me about it.
That needs updating. No. Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing? You can't do that.
That's graffitiing, OK? That's true.
It's illegal.
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
O'LEARY: It's OK. Um...
We're just-
We're the New Zealand Police.
What is that face?
Froze. Well, I know that.
You freaked them out.
So, uh, we're just here in the cubicle, waiting
for, hopefully, some people to come in...
(TOILET FLUSHES)
...and we should get some...
we should get some good information.
Just a waiting game.
It still feels wrong being in here.
(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)
Faulty wiring.
EERIE, SING-SONG VOICES:
We know you're in there!
MINOGUE: Told you.
We can see you!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(RT CRACKLES)
Radio me when it's over.
You better come
and see this, Minogue.
(EERIE MUSIC)
What is that?
Well,
'eht raef sannairb'?
What is that?
'Eht'...
What is that?
(EERIE MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
'Fear the Briannas.'
So, we have a source who claims
they have evidence in this case.
I commend all people, especially young women, for
coming forward to assist in police inquiries.
I think it shows bravery and
a strong sense of citizenship.
'Scuse me. Stop! Stop.
No need to run in here, OK?
SOFTLY: Sorry.
Thank you. Walking.
When I used to be a prefect when I was
here, that kind of thing wouldn't fly.
So, Mr Cross is the most
intimidating teacher? ALL: Yes.
But you'd say that, hands down, Mrs
Carol - she is the scariest? Yeah.
Uh, so, I'm interviewing one of
the students from St Carrietta's.
She doesn't want to be identified, but she does have
some important information pertaining to the case.
Um, this is... this is what happened to the
last person who asked too many questions.
(SCREAMING)
Is that, sort of, some weird phone
thing, where that girl's upside down?
(SCREAMING CONTINUES) No, she's really upside
down. Turn it around this way, is that...?
Now she's still upside down. Is it-?
Yeah. How does this-?
So that was happening to her in real life?
You should be more careful.
Ma'am, you don't have to worry about me. As
a member of the New Zealand police force,
my training means that I'm ready for any
situation, and fear is not an option.
(BELL RINGS LOUDLY)
Oh, shit. Oh.
Sorry. Sorry.
Shouldn't have said that.
Look, those Briannas -
they don't scare me, OK?
I'm the police. I'm here to help.
Changed the bell
since I was at school.
Ooh, O'Leary.
Minogue.
Do you remember where
the staff room is? Why?
SOFTLY: It's Mr Cross' birthday, and Anita's making
her famous carrot cake, which I hear is yum-o.
That doesn't pertain to the case at hand. Look, I've
got proof that the Briannas are our shoplifters...
Mm. ...and we need to find
them before someone...
Down here. Come on.
'Snitches get stitches.'
I prefer the old motto. Hmm.
(GIRL SCREAMS) 'Scuse me! 'Scuse me.
'Scu- 'Scuse me.
Police! 'Scuse me.
No running in the corridor! You're only
allowed to walk. We're the police!
(SEWING MACHINE RATTLES)
The sewing machine! Which one?
OK, just sit down.
This one? Ooh!
(TENSE MUSIC)
O'Leary! Here.
Confuse it! Haw? Use
the cloth as a cover.
What?
No, not yourself!
I need to stop its power!
(RATTLING STOPS)
(THUD!)
Yes!
Got it, O'Leary. (CHUCKLES)
So, the sewing machine
is no longer a threat,
but we, uh... we are gonna
need a quick unpick.
Seems the 'cool girls' have been
picking on the other girls,
which is both unfair
and not particularly cool.
No, that's wrong.
The Briannas aren't cool at all.
Yeah, so, there's the Briannas
at the end of last term. Mm.
Um, it appears that they were actually in the
library on the night of the implosion/explosion.
They came to school the next day with
very similar blonde-type hairdos.
That's right. They sort of look
like three, um, Sias. What?
She's a singer. Well, pop star, really.
OK. What does she sing?
Her biggest hit is
FALSETTO: Chandelier.
She's got a really good voice
at the high end.
And, so, yeah, they came to school with the
blonde hairdo and some apparent powers.
We don't know if they've got the singing
voices of Sia... It's not really-
...but definitely got the haircuts. Doesn't have
much to do with the case. Um, but they also now
have been getting revenge on anyone
who was ever mean to them. Mm.
So, what's the next move, Sarge? I mean, the
Briannas might be malevolent entities...
Mm. ...but, I mean,
they're still minors.
Did either of you investigate
that burnt-out library?
No. No. I mean, it does seem like quite an
obvious... No. No, that's right, we didn't.
Luckily, the school's website has a Dewey
Decimal System layout of their library,
and I worked out that the epicentre of the
implosion was the witchcraft and folklore section.
That seems like a needlessly
dangerous section to have
at an all-girls' high school.
Mm.Mm.
I suspect that the girls were dabbling in
the dark arts and cast a powerful spell,
granting them powerful... powers.
Do we need to find some sort
of counter-spell? Mm. We do.
Or we could drown them. If they survive, we
know they're witches, and then we burn them.
Minogue. Minogue, we don't do that- we don't
do that to women any more. Yeah, you're right.
What you should definitely do
is head over to that school
and check out that library
while no students are there.
- MINOGUE AND O'LEARY: Hm.
- Dismissed.
And please, no drowning or burning.
WHISPERS: OK, so, we're just
making our way to the library now,
where, hopefully, we can find some sort of
counter-spell - in the witchcraft section, we presume.
Our theory is that if we find that book,
then the girls should lose their powers.
(FLOORBOARDS CREAK) WHISPERS: We just
gotta be... We gotta be really careful.
Shh!
You gotta be quiet, OK?
You're gonna have to take your
shoes off. Are they steel-caps?
We have footwear for this kind
of- we're police. Take 'em off!
My sources tell me that Brianna
with two N's, Briannah with an H
and Bree-hyphen-Anna are all
on a school ball committee,
which means we expect they're gonna be
in the school hall decorating tonight,
so we should be safe.
(GIRLS CHANT IN DISTANCE)
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
There's someone in the library.
It's them! I think
they're holding a book.
One of us is gonna have to
attract their attention,
and the other person just
can quickly grab the book.
BRIANNAS CHANT: ...recharge our powers. We need to,
like, teach those who have wronged us a lesson.
Yeah!
Which one do you wanna do?
I'm not bothered. You choose.
Eh?
OK, look, I'll go grab the book;
you attract their attention.
Dammit! BRIANNAS CHANT: Awesome
book, recharge our powers.
We need to, like, teach those
who have wronged us a lesson.
Awesome book, recharge our powers.
(GROANS SOFTLY)
We need to, like, teach those
who have wronged us a lesson.
Nice!
Awesome book, recharge our powers. We need to,
like, teach those who have wronged us a lesson.
(MINOGUE PANTS)
Awesome book-
(SHRIEKS, CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
Heard you guys like, um, magic.
You got any cards or a saw?
ALL: Leave us, Officer Minogue! No. No.
I'm higher up in the hierarchy.
It goes police officers, and then there's a couple
of others, and then it's students, so I'm above you.
I tell you what to do! Now, go home.
Got it!
Ha! Who's got the power now?
(THUNDER CRASHES)
(EERIE MUSIC)
Let's go! Let's go!
They've still got the power. Go!
Go! Go, go, go! Come!
Quick, quick, quick, run!
(CRASH!)
Go!
(WIND HOWLS) It won't open! It won't open!
This way! Minogue!
BRIANNAS: Hey, Officer Kyle Minogue,
you run weird.
I've got a swayback!
It affects my gait!
Your legs are, like, too short
to outrun us, Officer O'Dreary.
It's the hall. They must've decorated for
the school ball. Need to find a way out.
It's really nicely done. Well, don't
focus on that; try and find a door.
I can't find a door. Where are you?
I've got no idea.
I can't see anything.
I can see your torch.
(GASPS, SHUDDERS)
(EXCLAIMS) Where is-?
# Minogue and O'Leary
# up a tree,
# D-Y-
# I - N - G. #
Dying.
Well, better than kissing.
Oh, wow.
Return our book!
We are literally like, 'What are you
doing with our book, bi(BLEEP)tch?'
just stall them while I'm trying to find
a counter-spell. Obviously, the bullying
and the witchcraft aside, you guys have
done a really great job of decorating-
Return our book!
Just give it to them.
I'm not giving it to them.
You know what? One more step
and I'm gonna destroy the source
of all your powers, OK?
Ah. The witchy shoe's on
the other foot, isn't it?
What are you gonna do now?
Can you stop wrapping my partner
up like that? (WHIMPERS)
It's a form of assault. Please desist.
(WHIMPERS)
Give us the book! It is part of us!
All right, that's it. I'm ripping it.
(ALL GASP)
It's actually way thicker than I
anticipated. One page at a time, O'Leary.
I don't have time to do that.
The weak don't survive high school!
OK, right, do you know what? That is about enough
of this, OK? know exactly what's going on here.
Yes, you've all been bullied, and that is not OK, but
now, you're just repeating that negative behaviour.
You're trying to cover up your own insecurities,
and you shouldn't have any of those.
Look at all of those badges! You guys
are volunteering for library duty.
I'm sure you're doing all sorts of
other things that are great things.
You've just fallen into this negative
trap of trying to be like everybody else.
OK? You don't need to be maiming your peers, stealing
chippies, that kind of thing - going into crime.
That's not what you are.
Wrap it up, O'Leary. What-?
Be yourselves. Be unique. Be kind.
Be strong. Be a little bit nerdy.
TREMULOUSLY: Guys,
I think she's right. Right?
But should we kill her anyway?
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
BOTH: We totally should!
(UNEARTHLY SCREECHING)
O'Leary, step back! Back!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES,
BRIANNAS GROAN)
(MINOGUE PANTS) Impressive shot, Officer
Minogue. Excellent police work.
I was actually aiming for the
witches, but... Hm. What?
Will you help me down still, though?
Well, how?
You come under me there. Yeah. Yeah,
but now you're just standing on me.
Ah!
You gotta keep your spine straight.
There we go. That's it. (GRUNTS)
Ow!
(KNOCKING)
Huh. It's Sarge. Yeah, sorry I'm late.
All the doors were locked.
Yeah.
What's the situation here, Minogue?
Students became witches.
Uh-huh?
They started dabbling in
the dark arts. Uh-huh.
One thing led to another.
Not witches any more.
Good.
We'll tell you back at the station.
All good.
Let's go. Out this way, please.
Uh, so, obviously, these students -
been mucking around with the dark arts,
uh, which leads to dabbling,
and before you know it, you're
full-on practising the dark arts.
So, what that order is is,
uh, mucking around
to dabbling, and then
full-on practising.
So I think the moral of the story here is,
uh, don't muck around with the dark arts.
Thank you.
Uh, also.
Stay in school and, uh,
don't do drugs. Kia or a.
So, the girls have been sentenced to community
service, which, in our opinion, is a little bit light.
Well, it's not my opinion.
I mean, they were certainly...
they were minors, so there was only so
much we could do. Mm. That's right.
I mean, as my colleague says,
when it comes to adult crimes,
you should really get an adult sentence,
and that hasn't happened here today.
Yeah, well, I didn't actually say that.
I think, obviously, our job as police
is to come in and try and help communities,
and rehabilitation is very important.
That's right. On the one hand,
you've got rehabilitation;
on the other side, you've got
justice for the crimes committed,
and we haven't seen justice
served here today.
I mean, the important thing is that we can leave here
knowing that this will never, never happen again.
Yeah. Job well done.
Mm.
(EERIE MUSIC)
('WELLINGTON PARANORMAL' THEME)
to a shoplifting incident
which may or may not be
paranormal in origin.
That's right. As my partner has pointed out,
we're currently attending a shoplifting incident
that may or may not be
paranormal in origin.
You just said word
for word what I said.
As my partner has pointed out, I just
repeated exactly what she said, so...
Urn, so, just let us know - what
happened, again? Right from the start.
The food from the shelves -
it's gone.
Excuse me, sir? It's just
like it, like, stole itself.
What kind of food was it?
just, like, chippies.
Two packs of chippies. Chippies. Two
times chippies. (PENCIL SCRATCHING)
Yeah. I- So, when you say 'stole
itself', what do you mean?
I'd say it just, like, floated off the
shelves, just like that, out of the door.
When you say 'floated out of the door', do you mean
you ate them? No. I was standing right here...
Right. ...and the chips were just right
there, and just gone, like that.
Right. Cos I've had chippies before
and they've been gone just like that,
but then it's turned out
I've eaten them.
Yeah, but that's different to floating. We're
just, obviously, trying to ascertain how
a packet of chippies
could, in fact, float.
(PLASTIC RUSTLES) Oh, look- Look at the
chips! Like, they're just floating.
Freeze!
Oh, get 'em, O'Leary!
I'm pursuing the chippies!
Chips are escaping.
In pursuit. In pursuit.
Freeze. Freeze!
They're in the road.
('WELLINGTON PARANORMAL' THEME)
Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Cameron Grigg.
Captions were made with the
support of NZ On Air.
____________________________________________
(SIGHS) Do you have a theory?
Tell him our theory. Is
this the bird one? Yep.
OK, it's not our theory; it's his theory.
So, there's a theory that
these birds have walked
into the shop,
they've gotten into chippie packets
- their own chippie packets -
they've eaten the potato chips, they've been startled,
and they've begun flying around in the dairy.
We talked about this theory. Yup.
That wings would have to be
on the outside. But there's
room in the empty chip packet,
because all of the chippies
are gone.
It doesn't make any sense, Minogue.
They're not in a vacuum any longer.
It's a work in progress, but it's a theory.
It's not gonna work.
We should maybe think
of another possible avenue.
I thought maybe telekinesis.
(SCOFFS) Those guys are so annoying.
They always call when you're eating your dinner.
Every time. That's, urn, telemarketers.
Telekinesis, Minogue, or psychokinesis, is
the ability to move objects with one's mind.
Wow.
(EERIE MUSIC)
Wh-What are you doing, Sarge?
Uh, nothing.
Let's go see if we can
enhance the CCTV footage.
(EERIE MUSIC)
All right, are you coming, Sarge?
Yep. Yep.
Parker, we're in need of
some of your IT expertise.
Can you enhance this footage?
Um, I can make it bigger.
Yes, but can you enhance it?
Well, you just have to do this.
Good. Good. Enhance again.
And enhance.
That's as far as it goes.
Ah, OK. Can you zoom it in for me?
Um...
Yeah. Zooming. Mm-hm. And again.
Zooming.
I'm zooming too, so-
Back, back, back!
Back, back. Back it up.
And freeze-frame.
Have a look at this, guys.
Pan left.
(CHAIR SQUEAKS)
Hang on. Look at that!
Coconut yoghurt?
No, no, no, not that -
in the reflection.
Somebody's there. I know that uniform.
That's my old school uniform.
Well, how did they get it? That's just
the same as my old school uniform.
It looks like O'Leary was right -
telekinesis.
Also, you didn't hear any of this,
Parker, all right?
Delete.
Let's go.
(SIRENS WAIL)
So, we're here at the school. Yeah, we've got a
really solid lead on who stole the chippies.
Yeah, it could be one of the approximately
840 students that goes here.
That's right, so we're gonna meet with the principal
and see if she can shed some light on the subject
and inform us if any of her students have
been exhibiting telekinetic powers of late.
Mm.
Was this an all-girls' school
when you went? Yeah. Mm.
That must've been stink.
If this is about the library,
everything's absolutely fine.
No problem at all, really. (LAUGHS) No,
no, we're not here about that, ma'am.
Uh, what happened to the library?
Ah- Oh, just a little implosion, just
in a very unpopular section of books,
and no students were harmed
in any way, shape or form.
Don't you mean ex-plosion?
Uh, no. No.
An explosion's big, damaging.
This was just very self-contained -
a little pop, really. just, um, something
to really just keep under our hats.
This is the library, isn't it?
I remember. Uh, yes,
b-but, um, do you really
wanna go in there? Yep.
Phew. I'm taking it this is
the site of the 'implosion',
as you called it. Yes, just a little pop.
just a little pop.
Well, I mean, I'd say maybe it's a bit more
than that, wouldn't you? No. No, no, no.
No. Really. I mean, look,
it's made quite a big mess.
I'd say it's definitely more of a bang
than a pop, wouldn't you? A bang?
No. A pop. This kind of mess around,
you should have the doors...
It's a pop. ...closed and locked as well.
I said it's a pop.
Also, we'd, you know, appreciate
it if you don't shout at us, OK?
We're just trying to ascertain what's been going
on here, and- I'm the principal of this school.
I understand that. I'm the one who's in
charge here. Well, look, we're the police,
and actually, police are up here, see?
But principals.
Well, they're not
above the police, OK?
Police, teachers... I mean,
we are the letter of the law.
I beg to disagree.
Look, though - she's right, O'Leary.
Go again. (STAMMERS) Principals.
Principals are there?
No, Minogue, that's- There.
There. No, that's-
We're under the principal. It's
metaphorical. I just think... Students...
...you need to show more respect
for- ...teachers, police, principal.
I would put- The police are certainly
up here, OK? Well, it's changed now.
That's different to what
you had before. Yeah!
Well, I can't reach up that- You were
there. Well, I'm not as tall as him, OK?
And that- Anyway-
(PAGES FLUTTER)
I mean, should that
book be doing that?
Like, flapping its pages like that?
(GHOSTLY WHIRRS IS PE RING)
(BOOK SLAMS, WHISPERING STOPS) CHUCKLES:
Does get very breezy in here sometimes.
To be honest, Mrs Hopper, we're not really
interested in libraries or in library books.
We're here because we're
looking for a thief. What?
Possibly a bird. And O'Leary
had her school uniform stolen.
OK, look, it wasn't literally my school uniform,
but certainly, someone in a school uniform
that looked like it came from this
school has been shoplifting in the area.
None of my girls would break
the law, I can assure you, officers.
CHUCKLES: Everything is
totally fine! As it says on
our award-winning school quilt.
Voila le quilt.
As we've mentioned before,
the thieves that we are trying to find
were wearing your school uniform.
(PENSIVE MUSIC)
Sorry, I can't hear you.
Why can't you-?
LOUDLY: She's saying that the
person who committed the crime
was wearing the
school uniforms from here.
Look, there seem to be a lot of
injured students in your sick bay
at the moment.
There are a lot.
I would appreciate it if you
would just stay on topic -
or it's a detention for you,
police officer or no.
I think the topic is that there are a
lot of sick students in your sick bay.
I - I can't hear you.
Well, (CLAPS BRISKLY) chop-chop.
Time to go. Can I show you the door?
That'd be great.
Thanks so much for coming.
Haere ra!
She was absolutely...
(DOOR SLAMS) ...lovely.
Really? Don't you think?
Who were you listening to?
She was great.
Antagonistic.
So, Zara Archer,
she called Anna Horton the B-word.
Is that right? Yeah, she did.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
Yeah. And then Anna's retaliated,
and she's called Zara
the E-word.
Yeah.
Kia or a. Yo. Hi. Uh, we're just here, just
asking a few questions of some of the students.
There's been a... you know, a little
bit of shoplifting, and, um...
Heard of something about an implosion that
maybe happened in your school library?
Not really. Um...
Not... Not really?
Yeah. So, maybe, have you
heard a little bit about it?
A lot of the books ruined -
um, burnt. Ruined? OK, right.
(PENCIL SCRATCHING)
There was a few students
quite smouldered - like, hair.
Smould-? Yeah, like...
Smouldering hair?
Yeah, like- Smells terrible,
doesn't it, that? Yeah.
Uh, were you in the library when
the implosion happened? No.
OK, so you've just heard about
it from other students? Yeah.
Have you heard anything else - about
stealing things? Uh, not stealing things.
No?
No.
SOFTLY: There were a few things flying
around in the, um, computer room yesterday -
just hovering. Like, some of
the mouses and the keypads.
I - I think I've...
I think I've said too much.
There's no such thing as too much talking
to a police officer, OK? I- I ...
I just- I need to go. OK, all right.
Thank you. Bye.
(EERIE MUSIC)
See, when I was a student here and you wanted the
real information, you came to the girls' toilets.
I'm not going in. Why not?
Cos it's a girls' toilet,
not a boys' toilet. Well, there is
no boys' toilets at a girls' school.
Come on. I'm not gonna start going
into girls' toilets at my age.
I'll go and do recon, OK?
I'll check it's clear.
You let me know.
Yep.
(WATER RUNS)
Hello? Anyone in here?
(RT CRACKLES) O'LEARY: Yeah, Minogue,
the toilets are empty. Over.
(RT BEEPS) That was too fast.
Over. Have a better look.
(RT BEEPS) Look, there's no one in here.
Over, Minogue.
I can see someone in there.
(RT CRACKLES) That's me, Minogue. just
come into the toilet now, Minogue.
(RT BEEPS)
Travelling.
(DOOR SHUTS) There's no urinal in here.
It's a girls' toilet.
Look, this is what I'm talking about.
'Tash and Raz forever'?
I know Tash and Raz, and they've broken up.
How do you know that?
Some of the girls were telling me about it.
That needs updating. No. Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing? You can't do that.
That's graffitiing, OK? That's true.
It's illegal.
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
O'LEARY: It's OK. Um...
We're just-
We're the New Zealand Police.
What is that face?
Froze. Well, I know that.
You freaked them out.
So, uh, we're just here in the cubicle, waiting
for, hopefully, some people to come in...
(TOILET FLUSHES)
...and we should get some...
we should get some good information.
Just a waiting game.
It still feels wrong being in here.
(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)
Faulty wiring.
EERIE, SING-SONG VOICES:
We know you're in there!
MINOGUE: Told you.
We can see you!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(RT CRACKLES)
Radio me when it's over.
You better come
and see this, Minogue.
(EERIE MUSIC)
What is that?
Well,
'eht raef sannairb'?
What is that?
'Eht'...
What is that?
(EERIE MUSIC INTENSIFIES)
'Fear the Briannas.'
So, we have a source who claims
they have evidence in this case.
I commend all people, especially young women, for
coming forward to assist in police inquiries.
I think it shows bravery and
a strong sense of citizenship.
'Scuse me. Stop! Stop.
No need to run in here, OK?
SOFTLY: Sorry.
Thank you. Walking.
When I used to be a prefect when I was
here, that kind of thing wouldn't fly.
So, Mr Cross is the most
intimidating teacher? ALL: Yes.
But you'd say that, hands down, Mrs
Carol - she is the scariest? Yeah.
Uh, so, I'm interviewing one of
the students from St Carrietta's.
She doesn't want to be identified, but she does have
some important information pertaining to the case.
Um, this is... this is what happened to the
last person who asked too many questions.
(SCREAMING)
Is that, sort of, some weird phone
thing, where that girl's upside down?
(SCREAMING CONTINUES) No, she's really upside
down. Turn it around this way, is that...?
Now she's still upside down. Is it-?
Yeah. How does this-?
So that was happening to her in real life?
You should be more careful.
Ma'am, you don't have to worry about me. As
a member of the New Zealand police force,
my training means that I'm ready for any
situation, and fear is not an option.
(BELL RINGS LOUDLY)
Oh, shit. Oh.
Sorry. Sorry.
Shouldn't have said that.
Look, those Briannas -
they don't scare me, OK?
I'm the police. I'm here to help.
Changed the bell
since I was at school.
Ooh, O'Leary.
Minogue.
Do you remember where
the staff room is? Why?
SOFTLY: It's Mr Cross' birthday, and Anita's making
her famous carrot cake, which I hear is yum-o.
That doesn't pertain to the case at hand. Look, I've
got proof that the Briannas are our shoplifters...
Mm. ...and we need to find
them before someone...
Down here. Come on.
'Snitches get stitches.'
I prefer the old motto. Hmm.
(GIRL SCREAMS) 'Scuse me! 'Scuse me.
'Scu- 'Scuse me.
Police! 'Scuse me.
No running in the corridor! You're only
allowed to walk. We're the police!
(SEWING MACHINE RATTLES)
The sewing machine! Which one?
OK, just sit down.
This one? Ooh!
(TENSE MUSIC)
O'Leary! Here.
Confuse it! Haw? Use
the cloth as a cover.
What?
No, not yourself!
I need to stop its power!
(RATTLING STOPS)
(THUD!)
Yes!
Got it, O'Leary. (CHUCKLES)
So, the sewing machine
is no longer a threat,
but we, uh... we are gonna
need a quick unpick.
Seems the 'cool girls' have been
picking on the other girls,
which is both unfair
and not particularly cool.
No, that's wrong.
The Briannas aren't cool at all.
Yeah, so, there's the Briannas
at the end of last term. Mm.
Um, it appears that they were actually in the
library on the night of the implosion/explosion.
They came to school the next day with
very similar blonde-type hairdos.
That's right. They sort of look
like three, um, Sias. What?
She's a singer. Well, pop star, really.
OK. What does she sing?
Her biggest hit is
FALSETTO: Chandelier.
She's got a really good voice
at the high end.
And, so, yeah, they came to school with the
blonde hairdo and some apparent powers.
We don't know if they've got the singing
voices of Sia... It's not really-
...but definitely got the haircuts. Doesn't have
much to do with the case. Um, but they also now
have been getting revenge on anyone
who was ever mean to them. Mm.
So, what's the next move, Sarge? I mean, the
Briannas might be malevolent entities...
Mm. ...but, I mean,
they're still minors.
Did either of you investigate
that burnt-out library?
No. No. I mean, it does seem like quite an
obvious... No. No, that's right, we didn't.
Luckily, the school's website has a Dewey
Decimal System layout of their library,
and I worked out that the epicentre of the
implosion was the witchcraft and folklore section.
That seems like a needlessly
dangerous section to have
at an all-girls' high school.
Mm.Mm.
I suspect that the girls were dabbling in
the dark arts and cast a powerful spell,
granting them powerful... powers.
Do we need to find some sort
of counter-spell? Mm. We do.
Or we could drown them. If they survive, we
know they're witches, and then we burn them.
Minogue. Minogue, we don't do that- we don't
do that to women any more. Yeah, you're right.
What you should definitely do
is head over to that school
and check out that library
while no students are there.
- MINOGUE AND O'LEARY: Hm.
- Dismissed.
And please, no drowning or burning.
WHISPERS: OK, so, we're just
making our way to the library now,
where, hopefully, we can find some sort of
counter-spell - in the witchcraft section, we presume.
Our theory is that if we find that book,
then the girls should lose their powers.
(FLOORBOARDS CREAK) WHISPERS: We just
gotta be... We gotta be really careful.
Shh!
You gotta be quiet, OK?
You're gonna have to take your
shoes off. Are they steel-caps?
We have footwear for this kind
of- we're police. Take 'em off!
My sources tell me that Brianna
with two N's, Briannah with an H
and Bree-hyphen-Anna are all
on a school ball committee,
which means we expect they're gonna be
in the school hall decorating tonight,
so we should be safe.
(GIRLS CHANT IN DISTANCE)
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
There's someone in the library.
It's them! I think
they're holding a book.
One of us is gonna have to
attract their attention,
and the other person just
can quickly grab the book.
BRIANNAS CHANT: ...recharge our powers. We need to,
like, teach those who have wronged us a lesson.
Yeah!
Which one do you wanna do?
I'm not bothered. You choose.
Eh?
OK, look, I'll go grab the book;
you attract their attention.
Dammit! BRIANNAS CHANT: Awesome
book, recharge our powers.
We need to, like, teach those
who have wronged us a lesson.
Awesome book, recharge our powers.
(GROANS SOFTLY)
We need to, like, teach those
who have wronged us a lesson.
Nice!
Awesome book, recharge our powers. We need to,
like, teach those who have wronged us a lesson.
(MINOGUE PANTS)
Awesome book-
(SHRIEKS, CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Hey. (CHUCKLES)
Heard you guys like, um, magic.
You got any cards or a saw?
ALL: Leave us, Officer Minogue! No. No.
I'm higher up in the hierarchy.
It goes police officers, and then there's a couple
of others, and then it's students, so I'm above you.
I tell you what to do! Now, go home.
Got it!
Ha! Who's got the power now?
(THUNDER CRASHES)
(EERIE MUSIC)
Let's go! Let's go!
They've still got the power. Go!
Go! Go, go, go! Come!
Quick, quick, quick, run!
(CRASH!)
Go!
(WIND HOWLS) It won't open! It won't open!
This way! Minogue!
BRIANNAS: Hey, Officer Kyle Minogue,
you run weird.
I've got a swayback!
It affects my gait!
Your legs are, like, too short
to outrun us, Officer O'Dreary.
It's the hall. They must've decorated for
the school ball. Need to find a way out.
It's really nicely done. Well, don't
focus on that; try and find a door.
I can't find a door. Where are you?
I've got no idea.
I can't see anything.
I can see your torch.
(GASPS, SHUDDERS)
(EXCLAIMS) Where is-?
# Minogue and O'Leary
# up a tree,
# D-Y-
# I - N - G. #
Dying.
Well, better than kissing.
Oh, wow.
Return our book!
We are literally like, 'What are you
doing with our book, bi(BLEEP)tch?'
just stall them while I'm trying to find
a counter-spell. Obviously, the bullying
and the witchcraft aside, you guys have
done a really great job of decorating-
Return our book!
Just give it to them.
I'm not giving it to them.
You know what? One more step
and I'm gonna destroy the source
of all your powers, OK?
Ah. The witchy shoe's on
the other foot, isn't it?
What are you gonna do now?
Can you stop wrapping my partner
up like that? (WHIMPERS)
It's a form of assault. Please desist.
(WHIMPERS)
Give us the book! It is part of us!
All right, that's it. I'm ripping it.
(ALL GASP)
It's actually way thicker than I
anticipated. One page at a time, O'Leary.
I don't have time to do that.
The weak don't survive high school!
OK, right, do you know what? That is about enough
of this, OK? know exactly what's going on here.
Yes, you've all been bullied, and that is not OK, but
now, you're just repeating that negative behaviour.
You're trying to cover up your own insecurities,
and you shouldn't have any of those.
Look at all of those badges! You guys
are volunteering for library duty.
I'm sure you're doing all sorts of
other things that are great things.
You've just fallen into this negative
trap of trying to be like everybody else.
OK? You don't need to be maiming your peers, stealing
chippies, that kind of thing - going into crime.
That's not what you are.
Wrap it up, O'Leary. What-?
Be yourselves. Be unique. Be kind.
Be strong. Be a little bit nerdy.
TREMULOUSLY: Guys,
I think she's right. Right?
But should we kill her anyway?
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
BOTH: We totally should!
(UNEARTHLY SCREECHING)
O'Leary, step back! Back!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES,
BRIANNAS GROAN)
(MINOGUE PANTS) Impressive shot, Officer
Minogue. Excellent police work.
I was actually aiming for the
witches, but... Hm. What?
Will you help me down still, though?
Well, how?
You come under me there. Yeah. Yeah,
but now you're just standing on me.
Ah!
You gotta keep your spine straight.
There we go. That's it. (GRUNTS)
Ow!
(KNOCKING)
Huh. It's Sarge. Yeah, sorry I'm late.
All the doors were locked.
Yeah.
What's the situation here, Minogue?
Students became witches.
Uh-huh?
They started dabbling in
the dark arts. Uh-huh.
One thing led to another.
Not witches any more.
Good.
We'll tell you back at the station.
All good.
Let's go. Out this way, please.
Uh, so, obviously, these students -
been mucking around with the dark arts,
uh, which leads to dabbling,
and before you know it, you're
full-on practising the dark arts.
So, what that order is is,
uh, mucking around
to dabbling, and then
full-on practising.
So I think the moral of the story here is,
uh, don't muck around with the dark arts.
Thank you.
Uh, also.
Stay in school and, uh,
don't do drugs. Kia or a.
So, the girls have been sentenced to community
service, which, in our opinion, is a little bit light.
Well, it's not my opinion.
I mean, they were certainly...
they were minors, so there was only so
much we could do. Mm. That's right.
I mean, as my colleague says,
when it comes to adult crimes,
you should really get an adult sentence,
and that hasn't happened here today.
Yeah, well, I didn't actually say that.
I think, obviously, our job as police
is to come in and try and help communities,
and rehabilitation is very important.
That's right. On the one hand,
you've got rehabilitation;
on the other side, you've got
justice for the crimes committed,
and we haven't seen justice
served here today.
I mean, the important thing is that we can leave here
knowing that this will never, never happen again.
Yeah. Job well done.
Mm.
(EERIE MUSIC)
('WELLINGTON PARANORMAL' THEME)