Wellington Paranormal (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Ghost - full transcript
Minogue and O'Leary get a fright attending a noise complaint at what appears to be a 70s-themed party in Kandallah: when they pull the plug on the record player, everyone disappears. With the help of medium Chloe Patterson, the cops go back into the house to see if it's truly haunted. It is. They see an actual ghost within minutes, something the fake medium has never actually seen and she soon disappears. In trying to find Chloe, Minogue and O'Leary encounter a series of 70s ghosts trapped at a never ending party. Can they break it up or will they be doomed to listen to Tina Cross's "Nothing But Dreams" for all eternity?
Well, it's certainly too
loud for a suburban street.
Yeah. Not my kind of music, either.
Not too bad. Yeah, it's not too
good either, though, is it, O'Leary?
I mean, about 50% of our call-outs are
actually one-ends or noise complaints.
You never know what you're
gonna get. Could be a domestic.
It could be just a dog barking.
Could be a gangland shoot-out.
It's never a gangland
shoot-out, though, is it? No.
Nah. No. Not yet.
Nope.
Hello?
Yoo-hoo!
So, no one's actually coming to the door,
but I think we can proceed with caution.
Hey! You can leave your coats
on the bed in the spare room.
Legend. Thanks, mate.
Gidday. You right?
'70s-themed party.
You'd be surprised at how quickly
a friendly game of Twister
can actually spiral
into mindless violence.
Cigarette.
OK, guys, we've had
a noise complaint.
Yeah, who's the host here?
Scuse us! We're police!
Somehow it seems...
O'Leary, I'm gonna
go into the kitchen,
see if I have better luck in there.
Minogue? I'm right here.
I'm going to the kitchen.
I heard you.
OK, look, everyone. We all like
fun, but what's even more fun
is quiet fun.
...some imagination
Hello? Party people?
A face!
I saw a horrible, hideous face!
Where did everybody go?
Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Faith Hamblyn.
Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.
Copyright Able 2018.
And finally,
there have been more reports
about a male flasher dressed
as the '90s rock star Prince,
who's been exposing himself to
women at the Berhampore bus stop.
This is not only distressing to
the victims themselves, but also
highly insulting to the memory
of a great musical artist.
So let's see what we can do to
put an end to his purple reign.
Dismissed.
Minogue. O'Leary. A word, please.
Now, what I think you saw, Minogue,
was some kind of inter-dimensional being.
These facial protuberances
antennae,
or some kind of
self-defence mechanism.
Or someone dressed as a cactus.
Possibly, O'Leary.
Cactus costume, question mark.
I have, however,
checked the records,
and that particular house has had
noise complaints for over 40 years.
But here's the thing...
What's the thing, Sarge?
No one's lived in that house...
for 40 years.
Boom!
Can you not do that? Look,
surely it's just an empty house.
There'll be local kids, you
know, using it for parties No.
...that kind of thing.
No. I hate to say this,
but I think the evidence
points to...
A party bus?
Party ghost?
Poltergeists!
German for 'noisy spirits'.
There's no such thing as spirits.
I saw a ghost once, Minogue.
That's what turned my hair white.
Your hair's pitch-black, Sarge.
Yeah, well, they're
in there. Trust me.
But you know what else?
The experience turned a
couple of my pubes white from fear.
I'll take your word for it, Sarge.
Minogue?
Nah.
Copy that.
Look, we don't know
anything about ghosts. Ah.
That's why I'm bringing in someone
who communes with the afterlife.
Chloe Patterson. She's a medium.
Huh. I'm a large, you're
a small, you're an XL...
Dream team. Ha.
Hmm, yeah.
OK. Yeah. Here he is.
Here he is. Yeah, he's
communicating with me now.
He's talking about a crime...
an unsolved crime. How
did she know it was a crime?
We're in a police station.
He's been murdered.
Actually, it was a noise complaint.
OK? What? A noise complaint.
This is a complete waste of our
time. Well, hold up, cos I am getting...
A message...
for someone in this room.
Well, I'm seeing a name.
And I am getting...
I'm seeing the letter...
G.
Does one of you have a relative...
with the letter G in their name?
Oh... my...
God. You're joking.
My grandpa. No! Yeah.
I get the goosebumps.
Literally goosebumps.
What was his name?
Grandpa.
Oh, my God.
With a G.
OK. Well, he's got
a message for you.
It's about the money.
The money?
He says not to worry about it.
Yes! Yes.
Yeah? Yeah. Yeah?
That is awesome
news. Isn't it? Yeah.
And, wait. He also says...
He says he's proud of
you. Oh, my goodness. Oh.
I miss him so much, eh?
But it is weird, right?
It is weird. It's
How?
Well, because Grandad
is still alive.
He lives in Havelock North.
That's the point.
He's still alive. Yeah, exactly.
But she's still able to talk to him.
Now, that is amazing.
You can't explain that.
Do you know why you can't
explain that? Because it's not real.
Because it's inexplicable.
Now, I know that my grandpa's
alive. He's a beekeeper.
Right? There's a couple
of times he nearly did die.
He shouldn't have been keeping bees.
He went into anaphylactic shock.
Well, he should've chosen a better
profession, shouldn't he? Which he did,
after he came out of hospital.
Nine months in a coma.
But the point is he's alive now,
and she's still able to talk to him.
Think how much she must save
on mobile phone bills.
She'd probably still need
one for the data-Minogue...
...but for the phone conversations,
she's saving money on
Minogue. I'm really happy that your
grandpa's still alive, OK? Thanks, O'Leary.
I think we should get
out the car and go.
OK? I just think you should have a
bit more of an open mind, that's all.
That's all.
Yeah, I'm sensing that somebody
definitely walked up this drive... Yeah.
...and spirit really wants
me to go into this house.
Yeah, Grandad,
she was talking to you.
Yeah. She said that you said
not to worry about the money.
Well, I dunno what money,
but we don't have to worry about it.
Yeah, I'm really picking
up a strong presence.
Feel that?
Currently inside
the Tukariri St property,
on the lookout for these
so-called party ghosts.
To be honest,
it's actually quite scary.
Um, for everyone else. Not for.
Not for me.
Yeah. Yeah, OK. Yeah, I can hear
ya. I can hear you up there.
It's beginning to freak me
out. Yeah, come on. OK, guys.
Guys, I'm sensing a really
profound presence in this room.
If there is a spirit
present in this room...
Make yourself known.
It's time
to blow out the candle.
It's time to blow out the candle.
No. Don't like it.
Nah. Don't like it either.
Oh, mate. No, no, no.
Don't like this. I don't like this. I'm
getting out of here. Mrs Patterson. Chloe.
Getting out of here! ...Have you explained
to the spirit there's been a noise complaint?
O'Leary, I might just go make
sure that she gets out all right,
because of the... thing.
You might need my assistance
on that, Minogue.
Mrs Patterson...
Mrs Patterson...
What the hell?
I guess it's a '70s ghost.
Getting pretty close, O'Le.
Wait!
Mrs Patterson...
Ha. Scuse me.
That's weird.
Ghosts are real,
ghosts are real, ghosts are real...
Mrs Patterson! Ghosts are real, ghosts...
Oh, thank God. Where've you been?
Ghosts are real, ghosts are real...
Been worried sick.
Mrs Patterson. Mrs Patterson!
Mrs Patterson!
Oh, no. No.
Oh, no.
O'Leary? O'Leary!
Where are you, Minogue? Presently in the
hallway. Suggest we reconvene in the living room.
Yeah, copy.
I've just left the toilet.
I just left the toilet. Request we
change our rendezvous point to the toilet.
Roger that. Turning round,
proceeding to toilet.
Roger that. I am a, uh, bit scared.
Are you? Over.
Confirmed. I'm a bit scared. Will arrive
presently at the rendezvous point. Over.
Please hurry, over. Have arrived
at the very scary toilet.
Yeah, I've also arrived
at the scary toilet. Over.
No, you're not here yet, O'Leary.
I'm quite sure I am. I'm standing
right next to the toilet.
Well, I'm standing right next to the toilet, and
I can't see you, so I don't think you're here.
OK, well, I'm standing right
next to the toilet. In fact,
now my head's right over the toilet.
I'm looking in the toilet, over.
Well, I've got my head pressed up against
the toilet, and if you were talking,
there would be vibrations going directly into
my ear, and that's not happening, O'Leary.
OK, well, look, I'm just gonna
pretend sitting on the toilet.
I still can't see you
anywhere in here. Over.
Well, if you were sitting on the toilet,
you'd be sitting on my head right now,
because my head's in
the toilet.
I'm certainly not sitting on your head, Minogue.
OK? I'm standing up now, next to the toilet.
I'm definitely in the toilet.
O'Leary!
I think you might be
in the upside-down.
No, I'm the right way up.
I think I might be
in the upside-down.
Just calm down, Minogue, OK?
I'm in the upstairs toilet. Over.
Ah. Yeah, I'm in the
downstairs toilet.
Calming down.
Yeah, good, cos I think I've
got a bit of a situation here.
- My situation's worse.
- Mine's pretty bad.
What's happening in your toilet?
Well, there seems to be a message appearing
on the mirror, in what seems to be blood.
It says, 'We'.
'We'?
No 'Welcome.'
Oh, that's nice.
'Welcome to Hell'?!
Get out of there, O'Leary.
Get out of there now!
Oh. 'Welcome to Helen and
Ray's 20th Anniversary.'
Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. Sorry, I
thought it was gonna be scarier than that.
O'Leary? I've lost Mrs Patterson.
OK, that's way worse.
I'm coming to find you now.
Roger that. Thanks, O'Leary.
Well, she's not in here.
Well, sometimes it's a bathroom, but other
times, it's a 1970s orgy in a hot tub.
Are you sure you're
not just fantasising?
Nah. All my fantasies
are set in the '90s.
No.
No.
Nope.
No. I've lost her,
haven't I? Yep.
There's ghosts in
this house, aren't there?
Yep.
Not Cheese Face!
The camera guys!
Come on.
Just you guys not them.
Quick!
Quick, quick, quick.
What is it?
Ugh! Oh! I just saw a hideous
face at the window.
Open the window.
Oh. Oh. The door won't open.
Sorry, Sarge. No
worries. You right?
Yep.
Uh...
Yep. Yep.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Uh-huh. Yep, just turn around
just slowly, because there's a Not yet!
Don't swallow the torch. Just down. Go down,
down. Yeah, the ground's there. Ground's there.
Oh. Yep. Oh.
Thank
you for that, officers.
I appreciate the assist.
So, some, uh, new information
came to light...
uh, which is why I thought I'd come
down here as soon as I possibly could.
It turns out that this house here used
to belong to one Raymond St John...
...aka the Party King.
Whoa. It does that sometimes, Sarge.
The lights are dicky.
Sure. In the '70s...
Raymond's parties were
the stuff of legend.
They used to go on for days.
Until, one fateful evening in 1977,
the party ended when a series of
increasingly horrific events took place.
Two people were found deceased when
a table lamp fell into a spa pool.
Electrocuted.
Another couple drowned
when a waterbed exploded,
and a man died when he got tangled
up in a crocheted blanket.
Yeah. You'd be surprised how
often that happened, actually.
Yeah, we met that one!
Hang on. Scuse me. You met that one?
Yeah. A '70s
crochet-blanket ghost.
No, no, no. No.
You met a ghost?
We've seen heaps of them.
Whoa. You right, Sarge? Yeah, no, I'm
all right. I just need a minute, O'Leary.
OK. There's something I should
Just a minute, please, Minogue.
OK. So... This is
quite possibly the most disturbing
a partygoer fell face-first
into a fondue set.
Asphyxiated by cheese.
Cheese Face. Hey, Sarge, I've
got something I've gotta tell you.
What is it?
I, um...
I lost Mrs Patterson.
What?!
In the spectral realm.
You had one job, Minogue. I've had
a couple of jobs. But that job, I did, uh,
I made a mistake. Sorry, Sarge.
Sarge...
Can't believe it.
It's a ghost.
Tase it, tase it, tase it! We need a Taser! We
need to tase it. No, I wouldn't tase it, guys.
Set. Set. Fire!
It'll just go straight through.
It's only another couple of minutes.
They will be fine after this.
So after the charge is, um,
finished, um, they'll feel
a little bit tired, um...
...but they will get fully back
to normal in a short space of time.
Bloody ghosts!
Still going now, which is Yeah.
So they're in quite a bit
of pain now, but like I said,
once the initial tase
is finished, then.
It's finishing now, see?
Can you hear that?
They're quietening down,
and that's really great.
Seems
to operate on a pattern.
Watch.
Toilet.
Toilet.
Toilet. Toilet.
Toilet.
Toilet.
So the pattern is
it's always a toilet?
Yeah, but watch this, though.
Toilet.
Toilet.
Toilet.
Hey.
This is the New Zealand police,
the Paranormal Unit.
If Mrs Patterson is behind there, please
just be there when we open the door.
Oh, my God!
Mrs Patterson? Are you in here?
I was wondering
what happened to you!
Mrs Patterson, are you being
held here against your will?
No! No, this is Rochelle and Peter,
lovely deceased couple from Tawa.
Clearly a case of
Stocktaking Syndrome, isn't it?
Mrs P, think you should
come with us right now.
Well, I want to, but I'm...
I can't...
Nobody leave. This is
my party, and it never ends, pigs.
Mrs Patterson, if you could refrain
from throwing around the slurs, please.
No, it's not her, Minogue.
Nah, she's been possessed.
Sir/Madam, are you
Raymond St John...
of 23 Tukariri St? That's
right. I'm the Party King
always partyin', always swingin'.
Mr St John, please leave Mrs
Patterson's body. Get out of there, sir.
Let's party, man!
No, sir, sir...
Please just stay in the tub, OK?
Stay in the tub. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Put your torch on.
Yeah, youse go I'll just, um...
I'll just secure the perimeter.
Sir! If you're uncooperative, we'll
have to issue you with an official warning.
Ooh, official warning!
Sir!
Out here.
It's locked, O'Leary.
Hey! You can leave your coats
on the bed in the spare room.
Whoa. It's like DJ-vu.
Should be in bed.
Right. Listen, everyone, OK?
We have had a series
of noise complaints.
Oh, what? Yeah. I must also
inform you that you're, um...
you're all deceased.
What, we're dead?!
As my partner's stated,
approximately 40 years ago,
you were all killed in completely
unrelated party accidents.
So we're, uh, obviously
very sorry about that.
No, no, no, no. Don't listen
to the man. Excuse me.
Hey, I've just got short hair, OK?
Oh, yeah. Don't make that assumption.
People always make that mistake, though,
don't they? Oh, come on. We're not dead.
We've only started livin'!
Yeah!
Often, when you're alive, the light
won't pass directly through you like that.
Often it'll stop on the outside,
on the clothes or the body itself.
Mr St John, you need to release your guests
and, uh No, look, my party, my rules.
No one leaves.
This party goes on forever!
Yeah. OK. Yeah!
Party King. Is that your name? Yeah.
That's my name. Don't wear it out.
Look, parties should end, you know, 11.30,
midnight at the latest, OK? Absolutely.
If you're a nanna, maybe. If
you're a nanna. No, no, no.
No, look. Now you've called me a man, and you've
called me a nanna. I don't appreciate that.
No. I'm just here to help you. So
then what are you, Man-Nanna?
No, I'm not a nan, I'm not a
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Manna-nanna?
Look, these people are not
happy to be here any more, Ray. OK?
Right, everybody that wants to proceed
to the afterlife, put up your ghost hands.
That's everyone, Ray. I thought
you guys were havin' a good time.
Minogue. Do I look like
I'm havin' a good time, Ray?
Sorry, what was that, sir? I
don't think I'm havin' a good time.
OK, it's a bit hard to make out
what you're saying. I'm not having...
Thumbs up or thumbs down?
Thumbs down. He's over it too. Please, look,
everyone, please just leave now and make your way
to the afterlife, OK? Thanks,
Ray. See ya, Ray. Good party.
Nice one. That's all right,
Pete. Yes. Take care, guys.
Hope you're not overdressed for
where you're going, most of you.
Hmm. You're buzz-killers. Mm-hm.
That's what you are.
Yep. Yep, yep. No. No.
Man-nanna Buzz-killer.
That's one way to put it. I would.
Another way to put it is that we're the New
Zealand police, and we're doing our job. All right?
OK? Put 'em on me.
Won't be the first time.
Officers O'Leary, Minogue and myself
have removed the guests
from the ceaseless party,
and they will finally
be going to a much better place.
So we'll be taking the ghost of
Mr St John back to the station,
where he'll face multiple counts of
holding persons against their will
and 40 years' worth of
noise complaints. Hmm.
We might be police, but we
still love a good party. Mm. Yeah.
But it's really about
respecting your community.
You can party till you drop,
uh, just not after you drop.
Safer communities together.
Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Faith Hamblyn.
Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.
Copyright Able 2018.
loud for a suburban street.
Yeah. Not my kind of music, either.
Not too bad. Yeah, it's not too
good either, though, is it, O'Leary?
I mean, about 50% of our call-outs are
actually one-ends or noise complaints.
You never know what you're
gonna get. Could be a domestic.
It could be just a dog barking.
Could be a gangland shoot-out.
It's never a gangland
shoot-out, though, is it? No.
Nah. No. Not yet.
Nope.
Hello?
Yoo-hoo!
So, no one's actually coming to the door,
but I think we can proceed with caution.
Hey! You can leave your coats
on the bed in the spare room.
Legend. Thanks, mate.
Gidday. You right?
'70s-themed party.
You'd be surprised at how quickly
a friendly game of Twister
can actually spiral
into mindless violence.
Cigarette.
OK, guys, we've had
a noise complaint.
Yeah, who's the host here?
Scuse us! We're police!
Somehow it seems...
O'Leary, I'm gonna
go into the kitchen,
see if I have better luck in there.
Minogue? I'm right here.
I'm going to the kitchen.
I heard you.
OK, look, everyone. We all like
fun, but what's even more fun
is quiet fun.
...some imagination
Hello? Party people?
A face!
I saw a horrible, hideous face!
Where did everybody go?
Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Faith Hamblyn.
Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.
Copyright Able 2018.
And finally,
there have been more reports
about a male flasher dressed
as the '90s rock star Prince,
who's been exposing himself to
women at the Berhampore bus stop.
This is not only distressing to
the victims themselves, but also
highly insulting to the memory
of a great musical artist.
So let's see what we can do to
put an end to his purple reign.
Dismissed.
Minogue. O'Leary. A word, please.
Now, what I think you saw, Minogue,
was some kind of inter-dimensional being.
These facial protuberances
antennae,
or some kind of
self-defence mechanism.
Or someone dressed as a cactus.
Possibly, O'Leary.
Cactus costume, question mark.
I have, however,
checked the records,
and that particular house has had
noise complaints for over 40 years.
But here's the thing...
What's the thing, Sarge?
No one's lived in that house...
for 40 years.
Boom!
Can you not do that? Look,
surely it's just an empty house.
There'll be local kids, you
know, using it for parties No.
...that kind of thing.
No. I hate to say this,
but I think the evidence
points to...
A party bus?
Party ghost?
Poltergeists!
German for 'noisy spirits'.
There's no such thing as spirits.
I saw a ghost once, Minogue.
That's what turned my hair white.
Your hair's pitch-black, Sarge.
Yeah, well, they're
in there. Trust me.
But you know what else?
The experience turned a
couple of my pubes white from fear.
I'll take your word for it, Sarge.
Minogue?
Nah.
Copy that.
Look, we don't know
anything about ghosts. Ah.
That's why I'm bringing in someone
who communes with the afterlife.
Chloe Patterson. She's a medium.
Huh. I'm a large, you're
a small, you're an XL...
Dream team. Ha.
Hmm, yeah.
OK. Yeah. Here he is.
Here he is. Yeah, he's
communicating with me now.
He's talking about a crime...
an unsolved crime. How
did she know it was a crime?
We're in a police station.
He's been murdered.
Actually, it was a noise complaint.
OK? What? A noise complaint.
This is a complete waste of our
time. Well, hold up, cos I am getting...
A message...
for someone in this room.
Well, I'm seeing a name.
And I am getting...
I'm seeing the letter...
G.
Does one of you have a relative...
with the letter G in their name?
Oh... my...
God. You're joking.
My grandpa. No! Yeah.
I get the goosebumps.
Literally goosebumps.
What was his name?
Grandpa.
Oh, my God.
With a G.
OK. Well, he's got
a message for you.
It's about the money.
The money?
He says not to worry about it.
Yes! Yes.
Yeah? Yeah. Yeah?
That is awesome
news. Isn't it? Yeah.
And, wait. He also says...
He says he's proud of
you. Oh, my goodness. Oh.
I miss him so much, eh?
But it is weird, right?
It is weird. It's
How?
Well, because Grandad
is still alive.
He lives in Havelock North.
That's the point.
He's still alive. Yeah, exactly.
But she's still able to talk to him.
Now, that is amazing.
You can't explain that.
Do you know why you can't
explain that? Because it's not real.
Because it's inexplicable.
Now, I know that my grandpa's
alive. He's a beekeeper.
Right? There's a couple
of times he nearly did die.
He shouldn't have been keeping bees.
He went into anaphylactic shock.
Well, he should've chosen a better
profession, shouldn't he? Which he did,
after he came out of hospital.
Nine months in a coma.
But the point is he's alive now,
and she's still able to talk to him.
Think how much she must save
on mobile phone bills.
She'd probably still need
one for the data-Minogue...
...but for the phone conversations,
she's saving money on
Minogue. I'm really happy that your
grandpa's still alive, OK? Thanks, O'Leary.
I think we should get
out the car and go.
OK? I just think you should have a
bit more of an open mind, that's all.
That's all.
Yeah, I'm sensing that somebody
definitely walked up this drive... Yeah.
...and spirit really wants
me to go into this house.
Yeah, Grandad,
she was talking to you.
Yeah. She said that you said
not to worry about the money.
Well, I dunno what money,
but we don't have to worry about it.
Yeah, I'm really picking
up a strong presence.
Feel that?
Currently inside
the Tukariri St property,
on the lookout for these
so-called party ghosts.
To be honest,
it's actually quite scary.
Um, for everyone else. Not for.
Not for me.
Yeah. Yeah, OK. Yeah, I can hear
ya. I can hear you up there.
It's beginning to freak me
out. Yeah, come on. OK, guys.
Guys, I'm sensing a really
profound presence in this room.
If there is a spirit
present in this room...
Make yourself known.
It's time
to blow out the candle.
It's time to blow out the candle.
No. Don't like it.
Nah. Don't like it either.
Oh, mate. No, no, no.
Don't like this. I don't like this. I'm
getting out of here. Mrs Patterson. Chloe.
Getting out of here! ...Have you explained
to the spirit there's been a noise complaint?
O'Leary, I might just go make
sure that she gets out all right,
because of the... thing.
You might need my assistance
on that, Minogue.
Mrs Patterson...
Mrs Patterson...
What the hell?
I guess it's a '70s ghost.
Getting pretty close, O'Le.
Wait!
Mrs Patterson...
Ha. Scuse me.
That's weird.
Ghosts are real,
ghosts are real, ghosts are real...
Mrs Patterson! Ghosts are real, ghosts...
Oh, thank God. Where've you been?
Ghosts are real, ghosts are real...
Been worried sick.
Mrs Patterson. Mrs Patterson!
Mrs Patterson!
Oh, no. No.
Oh, no.
O'Leary? O'Leary!
Where are you, Minogue? Presently in the
hallway. Suggest we reconvene in the living room.
Yeah, copy.
I've just left the toilet.
I just left the toilet. Request we
change our rendezvous point to the toilet.
Roger that. Turning round,
proceeding to toilet.
Roger that. I am a, uh, bit scared.
Are you? Over.
Confirmed. I'm a bit scared. Will arrive
presently at the rendezvous point. Over.
Please hurry, over. Have arrived
at the very scary toilet.
Yeah, I've also arrived
at the scary toilet. Over.
No, you're not here yet, O'Leary.
I'm quite sure I am. I'm standing
right next to the toilet.
Well, I'm standing right next to the toilet, and
I can't see you, so I don't think you're here.
OK, well, I'm standing right
next to the toilet. In fact,
now my head's right over the toilet.
I'm looking in the toilet, over.
Well, I've got my head pressed up against
the toilet, and if you were talking,
there would be vibrations going directly into
my ear, and that's not happening, O'Leary.
OK, well, look, I'm just gonna
pretend sitting on the toilet.
I still can't see you
anywhere in here. Over.
Well, if you were sitting on the toilet,
you'd be sitting on my head right now,
because my head's in
the toilet.
I'm certainly not sitting on your head, Minogue.
OK? I'm standing up now, next to the toilet.
I'm definitely in the toilet.
O'Leary!
I think you might be
in the upside-down.
No, I'm the right way up.
I think I might be
in the upside-down.
Just calm down, Minogue, OK?
I'm in the upstairs toilet. Over.
Ah. Yeah, I'm in the
downstairs toilet.
Calming down.
Yeah, good, cos I think I've
got a bit of a situation here.
- My situation's worse.
- Mine's pretty bad.
What's happening in your toilet?
Well, there seems to be a message appearing
on the mirror, in what seems to be blood.
It says, 'We'.
'We'?
No 'Welcome.'
Oh, that's nice.
'Welcome to Hell'?!
Get out of there, O'Leary.
Get out of there now!
Oh. 'Welcome to Helen and
Ray's 20th Anniversary.'
Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. Sorry, I
thought it was gonna be scarier than that.
O'Leary? I've lost Mrs Patterson.
OK, that's way worse.
I'm coming to find you now.
Roger that. Thanks, O'Leary.
Well, she's not in here.
Well, sometimes it's a bathroom, but other
times, it's a 1970s orgy in a hot tub.
Are you sure you're
not just fantasising?
Nah. All my fantasies
are set in the '90s.
No.
No.
Nope.
No. I've lost her,
haven't I? Yep.
There's ghosts in
this house, aren't there?
Yep.
Not Cheese Face!
The camera guys!
Come on.
Just you guys not them.
Quick!
Quick, quick, quick.
What is it?
Ugh! Oh! I just saw a hideous
face at the window.
Open the window.
Oh. Oh. The door won't open.
Sorry, Sarge. No
worries. You right?
Yep.
Uh...
Yep. Yep.
Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Uh-huh. Yep, just turn around
just slowly, because there's a Not yet!
Don't swallow the torch. Just down. Go down,
down. Yeah, the ground's there. Ground's there.
Oh. Yep. Oh.
Thank
you for that, officers.
I appreciate the assist.
So, some, uh, new information
came to light...
uh, which is why I thought I'd come
down here as soon as I possibly could.
It turns out that this house here used
to belong to one Raymond St John...
...aka the Party King.
Whoa. It does that sometimes, Sarge.
The lights are dicky.
Sure. In the '70s...
Raymond's parties were
the stuff of legend.
They used to go on for days.
Until, one fateful evening in 1977,
the party ended when a series of
increasingly horrific events took place.
Two people were found deceased when
a table lamp fell into a spa pool.
Electrocuted.
Another couple drowned
when a waterbed exploded,
and a man died when he got tangled
up in a crocheted blanket.
Yeah. You'd be surprised how
often that happened, actually.
Yeah, we met that one!
Hang on. Scuse me. You met that one?
Yeah. A '70s
crochet-blanket ghost.
No, no, no. No.
You met a ghost?
We've seen heaps of them.
Whoa. You right, Sarge? Yeah, no, I'm
all right. I just need a minute, O'Leary.
OK. There's something I should
Just a minute, please, Minogue.
OK. So... This is
quite possibly the most disturbing
a partygoer fell face-first
into a fondue set.
Asphyxiated by cheese.
Cheese Face. Hey, Sarge, I've
got something I've gotta tell you.
What is it?
I, um...
I lost Mrs Patterson.
What?!
In the spectral realm.
You had one job, Minogue. I've had
a couple of jobs. But that job, I did, uh,
I made a mistake. Sorry, Sarge.
Sarge...
Can't believe it.
It's a ghost.
Tase it, tase it, tase it! We need a Taser! We
need to tase it. No, I wouldn't tase it, guys.
Set. Set. Fire!
It'll just go straight through.
It's only another couple of minutes.
They will be fine after this.
So after the charge is, um,
finished, um, they'll feel
a little bit tired, um...
...but they will get fully back
to normal in a short space of time.
Bloody ghosts!
Still going now, which is Yeah.
So they're in quite a bit
of pain now, but like I said,
once the initial tase
is finished, then.
It's finishing now, see?
Can you hear that?
They're quietening down,
and that's really great.
Seems
to operate on a pattern.
Watch.
Toilet.
Toilet.
Toilet. Toilet.
Toilet.
Toilet.
So the pattern is
it's always a toilet?
Yeah, but watch this, though.
Toilet.
Toilet.
Toilet.
Hey.
This is the New Zealand police,
the Paranormal Unit.
If Mrs Patterson is behind there, please
just be there when we open the door.
Oh, my God!
Mrs Patterson? Are you in here?
I was wondering
what happened to you!
Mrs Patterson, are you being
held here against your will?
No! No, this is Rochelle and Peter,
lovely deceased couple from Tawa.
Clearly a case of
Stocktaking Syndrome, isn't it?
Mrs P, think you should
come with us right now.
Well, I want to, but I'm...
I can't...
Nobody leave. This is
my party, and it never ends, pigs.
Mrs Patterson, if you could refrain
from throwing around the slurs, please.
No, it's not her, Minogue.
Nah, she's been possessed.
Sir/Madam, are you
Raymond St John...
of 23 Tukariri St? That's
right. I'm the Party King
always partyin', always swingin'.
Mr St John, please leave Mrs
Patterson's body. Get out of there, sir.
Let's party, man!
No, sir, sir...
Please just stay in the tub, OK?
Stay in the tub. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Put your torch on.
Yeah, youse go I'll just, um...
I'll just secure the perimeter.
Sir! If you're uncooperative, we'll
have to issue you with an official warning.
Ooh, official warning!
Sir!
Out here.
It's locked, O'Leary.
Hey! You can leave your coats
on the bed in the spare room.
Whoa. It's like DJ-vu.
Should be in bed.
Right. Listen, everyone, OK?
We have had a series
of noise complaints.
Oh, what? Yeah. I must also
inform you that you're, um...
you're all deceased.
What, we're dead?!
As my partner's stated,
approximately 40 years ago,
you were all killed in completely
unrelated party accidents.
So we're, uh, obviously
very sorry about that.
No, no, no, no. Don't listen
to the man. Excuse me.
Hey, I've just got short hair, OK?
Oh, yeah. Don't make that assumption.
People always make that mistake, though,
don't they? Oh, come on. We're not dead.
We've only started livin'!
Yeah!
Often, when you're alive, the light
won't pass directly through you like that.
Often it'll stop on the outside,
on the clothes or the body itself.
Mr St John, you need to release your guests
and, uh No, look, my party, my rules.
No one leaves.
This party goes on forever!
Yeah. OK. Yeah!
Party King. Is that your name? Yeah.
That's my name. Don't wear it out.
Look, parties should end, you know, 11.30,
midnight at the latest, OK? Absolutely.
If you're a nanna, maybe. If
you're a nanna. No, no, no.
No, look. Now you've called me a man, and you've
called me a nanna. I don't appreciate that.
No. I'm just here to help you. So
then what are you, Man-Nanna?
No, I'm not a nan, I'm not a
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Manna-nanna?
Look, these people are not
happy to be here any more, Ray. OK?
Right, everybody that wants to proceed
to the afterlife, put up your ghost hands.
That's everyone, Ray. I thought
you guys were havin' a good time.
Minogue. Do I look like
I'm havin' a good time, Ray?
Sorry, what was that, sir? I
don't think I'm havin' a good time.
OK, it's a bit hard to make out
what you're saying. I'm not having...
Thumbs up or thumbs down?
Thumbs down. He's over it too. Please, look,
everyone, please just leave now and make your way
to the afterlife, OK? Thanks,
Ray. See ya, Ray. Good party.
Nice one. That's all right,
Pete. Yes. Take care, guys.
Hope you're not overdressed for
where you're going, most of you.
Hmm. You're buzz-killers. Mm-hm.
That's what you are.
Yep. Yep, yep. No. No.
Man-nanna Buzz-killer.
That's one way to put it. I would.
Another way to put it is that we're the New
Zealand police, and we're doing our job. All right?
OK? Put 'em on me.
Won't be the first time.
Officers O'Leary, Minogue and myself
have removed the guests
from the ceaseless party,
and they will finally
be going to a much better place.
So we'll be taking the ghost of
Mr St John back to the station,
where he'll face multiple counts of
holding persons against their will
and 40 years' worth of
noise complaints. Hmm.
We might be police, but we
still love a good party. Mm. Yeah.
But it's really about
respecting your community.
You can party till you drop,
uh, just not after you drop.
Safer communities together.
Captions by Maeve Kelly.
Edited by Faith Hamblyn.
Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.
Copyright Able 2018.