Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 8 - Sadie Hawkins Day - full transcript
JULIE, I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY COUSIN SHERMIE?
NEVER SAID ANYTHING TILL
HE WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
NO, I NEVER HEARD
ABOUT THAT ONE.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY, IT
AMAZED MEDICAL SCIENCE.
THIS YOUNG BOY
NEVER SAID ANYTHING
TILL HE WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
ALL OF A SUDDEN ONE DAY HE
COMES DOWN FOR BREAKFAST.
MY UNCLE MAX
LOOKS AT HIM, HE SAYS,
"CEREAL COLD."
MY UNCLE MAX SAID,
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"CEREAL COLD."
SAYS, "SHERMIE, FOR NINE
YEARS YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
HOW COME ALL OF A SUDDEN
THIS MORNING YOU SAY
'CEREAL COLD'?"
SHERMIE SAYS,
"WELL, UP TILL NOW,
EVERYTHING HAD BEEN ALL RIGHT."
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪
♪
HEY BOOM BOOM.
OH.
HI THERE.
HEY FREDDIE, UM,
I WAS WONDERIN' IF YOU COULD GO
TO THE SADIE HAWKINS
DANCE WITH ME SATURDAY.
- SATURDAY NIGHT?
- YEAH.
WELL, LET ME SEE, I'M NOT SURE
IF I MIGHT BE FREE
THEN, YOU KNOW?
SEE I MIGHT HAVE TO STAY
HOME AND WASH MY HAIR.
OKAY, FREDDIE.
YOU GOT TWO CHOICES
SATURDAY NIGHT.
EITHER YOU GO TO
THE DANCE WITH ME
OR YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL ALONE.
VERNAJEAN, I'D LOVE TO TAKE
YOU TO THE DANCE ANY TIME.
I THOUGHT SO.
GIRLS ASKIN' GUYS OUT.
I THINK THE WHOLE
THING IS STUPID.
YOU KNOW WHEN THEY
SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASK US OUT?
WHEN THEY CAN GET US IN TROUBLE.
HEY, LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT NOW.
ANY GIRL CAN ASK ANY GUT
OUT ON SADIE HAWKINS DAY?
YOU GOT IT, ARNOLD.
I SEE.
HI BOYS.
READY FOR THE DANCE
SATURDAY NIGHT?
JUAN, HERE, I WROTE
THIS NOTE FOR YOU.
- LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
- WHAT'S IN THE NOTE?
COME ON!
HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
EPSTEIN GOT A NOTE.
HEY, COME ON!
SO, BIG DEAL.
EPSTEIN'S ALWAYS GOT A NOTE.
WHEN HE WAS BORN HE HAD A
NOTE EXPLAINING WHY HE WAS LATE.
YEAH, BUT MR. KOTTER,
THIS IS A NOTE TO EPSTEIN.
OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, IF
IT'S A NOTE TO EPSTEIN,
THEN IT'S EPSTEIN'S OWN
PERSONAL PROPERTY.
UNLESS HE WANTS
TO SHARE IT WITH US.
- HEY!
- COME ON!
YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS, RIGHT?
- COME ON.
- RIGHT, LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
COME ON, WHAT DOES IT SAY?
"DEAR JUAN,
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
MY KID WANTS TO DATE
A PUERTO RICAN JEW."
SIGNED JUANITA LEVINE'S MOTHER.
ALL RIGHT!
LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A DATE, JUAN.
OKAY, COME ON, SIT DOWN.
LET'S TAKE ATTENDANCE.
ANDERSON IS HERE...
KOTTER, HIDE ME!
HIDE ME QUICK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, MR. WOODMAN?
MISSED A PAYMENT ON YOUR TIE?
NO, IT'S WORSE THAN THAT.
MISS FISHBECK IS TRAILING ME.
SHE'S GONNA ASK ME
TO GO TO THAT DANCE.
MR. WOODMAN, IF THERE'S
ONE THING YOU ARE NOT,
IT'S A SWEATHOG.
UH, MR. WOODMAN?
HI THERE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MISS FISHBECK?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MISS FISHBECK?
NOTHIN' THAT A BIG BROWN
PAPER BAG OVER HER HEAD
WOULDN'T CURE.
YOU KNOW, MR. WOODMAN,
YOU'D PROBABLY BE BETTER OFF
STAYIN' HOME AND
PLAYIN' STRIP SOLITAIRE.
EPSTEIN, GET BENT.
OOH!
CHECK THE HALLWAY,
WILL YOU, KOTTER?
SEE IF THE COAST IS CLEAR.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
ALL RIGHT, LOUIS, YOU
CAN MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
THANKS, KOTTER.
I GUESS THIS IS IT.
GOODBYE.
SO, UM, VINNIE, WHO YOU
GOIN' WITH TO THE DANCE?
WELL, I AIN'T DECIDED YET
WHO I'M GONNA LET TAKE ME.
I MAY HAVE TO HOLD A RAFFLE.
YEAH, THE, UH,
WINNER GETS A TURKEY.
WELL, I THINK THAT THE SADIE
HAWKINS IDEA IS A TERRIFIC ONE.
IT IS HIGH TIME THE
TABLES WERE TURNED
AND GIRLS FOUND
OUT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
TO GET TURNED DOWN FOR A DATE.
I AM NOT EASY.
HEY ARNOLD?
OH YES, YES!
A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
I WOULD LOVE TO GO
TO THE DANCE WITH YOU.
WE'LL DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY.
ARNOLD, I JUST WANTED
TO BORROW YOUR PENCIL.
OH.
SO HERE.
WELL, ARNOLD,
I TAKE IT YOU DON'T
HAVE A DATE YET.
OH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
MR. KOTTER, COULD I RENT THE
MISSUS FOR SATURDAY NIGHT?
HEY ARNOLD, GIVE ME A BREAK!
I MEAN, SHE STILL MIGHT ASK ME.
ALL RIGHT.
WAIT UP, WAIT UP.
COME ON, EPSTEIN.
SEE YOU.
DON'T FORGET YOUR
SOCIAL STUDIES HOMEWORK.
MR. KOTTER, EVEN THOUGH I THINK
THIS WHOLE SADIE HAWKINS THING
IS A STUPID IDEA,
I THINK I SHOULD GIVE
ARNOLD A FEW POINTERS
ON GETTIN' A DATE.
COME OVER HERE, COME OVER.
NOW, FIRST THING YOU GOTTA
DO IS THE VINNIE BARBARINO LOOK.
OKAY, YOUR HAIR, FOR
INSTANCE, VERY CASUAL.
IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE IT'S
BEING BLOWN BY UNSEEN WINDS.
HOW'S THAT?
YEAH, THAT LOOKS BETTER.
ALL RIGHT, THE SECOND IS
VINNIE BARBARINO STANCE, OKAY?
NOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH A GIRL,
YOU DON'T WANNA LET HER KNOW
THAT YOU'RE THERE, RIGHT?
VERY NONCHALANT, OKAY?
KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED,
STAND IN THE CORNER.
VINNIE, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE
YOURSELF A THIRD-DEGREE
CORDUROY BURN.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LOOSEN UP.
WE GOTTA LOOSEN
UP HERE, ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, START YOUR LEGS.
START TO FEEL WHO YOU ARE.
♪ SAY BA-BA-BA-BA-BARBARINO ♪
♪ A-BA-BA-BA-BA-BABARINO ♪
♪ A-BA-BA-BA-BA-BARBARINO ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN'
AND A ROLLIN' AND A BOPPIN'
AND A... BARBARINO ♪♪
EARTH TO VINNIE!
EARTH TO VINNIE!
COME IN, VINNIE.
I'M SORRY, ARNOLD, I GOT
CARRIED AWAY WITH MYSELF.
I THINK YOUR PANTS
ARE UNDER ARREST.
DO YOU WANT ME TO TRY THAT?
YEAH, WOULD YOU DO THAT?
START TO FEEL WHO YOU ARE.
♪ I SAID HO-HO-HO-HO-HORSHACK ♪
♪ HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HORSHACK ♪
♪ HO-HO-HO-HO-HORSHACK ♪♪
BOY, I HOPE THAT
WORKS BETTER FOR HIM
THAN IT DOES FOR ME.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKIN' ABOUT, VINNIE?
I DON'T GOT A DATE YET
FOR THAT STUPID DANCE.
ME, VINNIE BARBARINO.
NOBODY'S ASKED YOU?
I KNOW!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
HEY, YOU WON'T TELL NONE
OF THE GUYS, WILL YOU?
NO, VINNIE.
THAT'S GOOD, I KNEW
YOU'D UNDERSTAND,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU'RE
OLDER AND YOU'RE MARRIED
AND YOUR LIFE IS
PRETTY MUCH OVER NOW.
WELL, I MEAN LIKE AS FAR
AS THE FUN PART GOES.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, VINNIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO
FOR A GOOD TIME NOW?
I GO DOWN TO THE
CUT RATE DRUGSTORE
AND I HAVE A MAALOX MALT.
THEN FOR KICKS, I COME
HOME AND I TURN ON THE TV
AND I GET UNDRESSED IN
FRONT OF THE BIONIC WOMAN.
HI MR. KOTTER.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
I JUST FORGOT MY BOOK.
YO, MAKE IT QUICK, WE'RE
TALKIN' PRIVATE HERE.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU'RE HAVIN' ANY TROUBLE, VINNIE.
YOU CERTAINLY DO
HAVE A WAY WITH WOMEN.
I KNOW, THAT'S WHY IT
DON'T MAKE NO SENSE.
VINNIE?
WHEN YOU'RE DONE IN
HERE, COULD I TALK TO YOU?
I WANNA ASK YOU... SOMETHING.
YEAH, MAYBE, IF I GOT SOME TIME.
OH.
OKAY.
BYE, CHARMAINE.
- VINNIE?
- YEAH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT HAPPENED?
CHARMAINE LEFT HER
BOOK HERE ON PURPOSE
SO SHE COULD COME
BACK AND ASK YOU
TO GO TO THE DANCE.
WELL, THEN WHAT STOPPED HER?
I THINK IT WAS YOUR
CHARMING PERSONALITY.
THANK YOU, MR. KOTTER.
VINNIE, LET ME TELL
YOU A LITTLE STORY.
OH NO, PLEASE, DON'T TELL
ME ONE OF YOUR STORIES.
NOW YOU'LL ENJOY THIS ONE.
WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL
HERE, MY BEST FRIEND'S NAME
WAS BONZO MERETTI.
RIGHT, I KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THIS
ISN'T ABOUT BONZO,
IT'S ABOUT HIS SISTER BETTY.
YOU GOT IT?
YEAH, BETTY MERETTI.
BETTY MERETTI WAS THE
CUTEST GIRL IN THE SCHOOL,
BUT NOBODY EVER
ASKED HER TO GO OUT
'CAUSE EVERYBODY THOUGHT
SHE ALWAYS HAD A DATE.
SO THE CUTEST GIRL WAS
SITTIN' HOME ALONE EVERY NIGHT.
I GUESS YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED, RIGHT?
NO.
WELL, FINALLY SOMEBODY
DID ASK HER TO GO OUT.
IT WAS NO-FACE FINKLEMAN.
TALKED LIKE THIS, "OH, MY
NAME IS NO-FACE FINKLEMAN.
I GOT NO FACE ON ME, HE HE."
NOW NO-FACE WAS NOT THE
BEST-LOOKING GUY IN SCHOOL.
NO, IT DON'T SOUND THAT WAY.
SO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, RIGHT?
THEY WENT TO THE DANCE,
THEY HAD A GOOD TIME,
AND THEY WENT STEADY, RIGHT?
NO, NO-FACE HAPPENED TO
GET A LITTLE FRESH WITH BETTY
AND BONZO BEAT HIM TO A PULP.
BUT THE THING IS THAT THE
BEST-LOOKING GIRL IN SCHOOL
WAS SITTIN' HOME
ALONE WITHOUT A DATE.
BOY, THAT'S SOME TERRIFIC STORY.
WHY DON'T YOU SEND IT
IN TO READER'S DIGEST?
WELL, DON'T YOU SEE?
I MEAN, IT'S RELEVANT
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE BECAUSE...
ARNOLD?
YEAH?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE
SADIE HAWKINS DANCE WITH ME?
SURE.
BUT WOULD IT BE OKAY
IF I OPENED MY EYES
SO I COULD SEE WHO YOU ARE?
AH, HI CHARMAINE.
BOY, DID I BLOW THAT ONE.
I REALLY BLEW IT.
WELL, VINCENZO,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS?
GIVES YOU SATURDAY
NIGHT FREE TO STAY HOME
AND CATCH UP ON YOUR HOMEWORK.
MR. KOTTER, DON'T YOU REALIZE
IF I DON'T GO OUT
SATURDAY NIGHT,
HOW BORING MY
CONFESSION'S GONNA BE?
FATHER O'MALLEY LOOKS
FORWARD TO SEEING ME
ALL WEEK LONG.
♪
- HORSHACK.
- HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M COMBING MY HAIR
WITH UNSEEN WINDS.
YO VINNIE, ALL RIGHT.
SO WHO'S TAKING YOU TO
THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE
TOMORROW NIGHT?
WHO'S GONNA ESCORT
OUR ITALIAN STALLION?
AND IT BETTER NOT BE MY SISTER.
WELL, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, JUAN,
BECAUSE I'M BRINGIN'
A MYSTERY GUEST.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY NOW, LET ME
GUESS, LET ME GUESS.
IS SHE TALL?
WELL, SHE... IS SHE SHORT?
- SORT OF.
- WHICH?
TALL OR SHORT?
BOTH.
VINNIE, HOW COULD SHE BE BOTH?
WELL, PARTS OF HER ARE TALL
AND PARTS OF HER ARE SHORT.
- HEY FREDDIE?
- YEAH?
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD
KIND OF HELP ME BRUSH UP
ON SOME OF THE NEW DANCES
FOR THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT?
OH, SURE, ARNOLD. WHICH
ONES YOU NEED TO LEARN?
ALL OF 'EM.
RIGHT, OKAY. WE'RE GONNA
START WITH THE HUSTLE.
-ALL RIGHT? -OKAY.
OKAY, NOW THE FIRST
THING I WANT YOU TO DO
IS I WANT YOU TO...
FEEL YOUR HIPS.
NO, ARNOLD, ARNOLD,
NOT WITH YOUR HANDS.
FEEL 'EM WITH YOUR HEAD.
GOT IT?
I DON'T THINK IT'LL REACH.
EPSTEIN... JUST WATCH
ME... EPSTEIN, GIVE ME A BEAT.
NOW WATCH.
VERY SIMPLE, SEE?
ONE, TWO, THREE,
GO, ONE, TWO, THREE.
- FOLLOW ME, COME ON.
- OKAY.
ONE, TWO, THREE, YEAH.
ONE, TWO.
NOW SPIN WITH ME.
NOT TOO FAR NOW.
SIDE BY SIDE.
- GET A LITTLE SLIDE THERE.
- OH, I GOT IT!
I GOT THE MUSIC IN ME!
HEY, HEY!
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A
SCHOOL, NOT SOUL TRAIN.
OH HEY, MR. WOODMAN, I WAS
JUST SHOWING THE GUYS HERE
SOME NEW STEPS FOR THE
DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH.
WELL, I'M GOING TO
THE DANCE MYSELF.
OH YEAH? THOUGHT
YOU WASN'T GOIN'.
WELL, I WASN'T, BUT,
UH, MISS FISHBECK, UH...
SHE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.
SHE, UH, SHE HID IN THE
FACULTY MEN'S ROOM.
WHEN I WALKED IN, SHE, UH,
SHE JUMPED OUT OF A STALL
AND POPPED THE QUESTION.
OH, YOU KNOW,
WASHINGTON, I USED TO BE
A PRETTY GOOD DANCER MYSELF.
REALLY?
LET ME SEE THAT STEP AGAIN.
OH, SURE... EPSTEIN, YOU WANNA
GIVE ME THAT BEAT ONE MORE TIME?
A-ONE, A-TWO,
A-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-TO-DO.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
ONE, TWO, THREE,
NOW TWIRL THIS WAY.
ONE, TWO, THREE...
THAT'S IT, WOODY!
COME ON, WOODY, ALL RIGHT.
AND SLIDE.
ALL RIGHT.
AND CLICK THEM HEELS.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
ONE, TWO, THREE...
MR. WOODMAN, YOU MUST BE
THE BROTHER THE JACKSON FIVE
DON'T TALK ABOUT.
KOTTER, I'M JUST BRUSHIN'
UP ON THE LATEST STEPS
FOR THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.
YOU RESENT ME
BECAUSE I'M, UH, WITH IT
AND YOU'RE NOT.
HI BOYS.
GUESS WHAT?
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I
HAVE BEEN SO BUSY
I FORGOT ALL ABOUT ASKING
SOMEBODY TO THE DANCE
TOMORROW NIGHT.
A-ONE, A-TWO,
A-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-TO-DO.
CUTE.
VINNIE?
I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY TOO LATE,
AND I WOULD HAVE
ASKED YOU SOONER,
BUT I WAS OUT SICK ALL WEEK.
BUT YOU WOULDN'T BY ANY
CHANCE BE FREE TO GO WITH ME
TO THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT?
WELL, IT SHOWS PRETTY
GOOD TASTE THAT YOU ASK,
BUT, UM, I ALREADY GOT A DATE
FOR THAT DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT.
SURE, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.
WELL, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
YEAH, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
SO, YOU GOT A DATE AFTER ALL.
NO.
NO, THEN WHY'D YOU
TURN THAT GIRL DOWN?
SHE WAS REALLY CUTE.
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND, MR. KOTTER,
I'M VINNIE BARBARINO.
I GOT A REPUTATION TO THINK OF.
WHAT WOULD THOSE GUYS
THINK IF THEY KNEW I GOT A DATE
THE DAY BEFORE THE DANCE?
WELL, MY FRIEND,
I HOPE, UH, YOU AND
YOUR REPUTATION
HAVE A GOOD TIME
TOGETHER TOMORROW NIGHT.
♪
COME ON, MICHAEL,
LET'S GET IT ON!
♪
WELL, LITTLE GIRL, HOW'D
YOU LIKE TO PLAY HOMEROOM?
HMM.
DON'T YOU WANNA
GET A PASSING GRADE
IN SOCIAL STUDIES?
THIS IS GREAT UP
HERE, JUST YOU... ME...
AND VINNIE.
♪
HI KIDS.
♪
VINNIE, WHY AREN'T YOU
DOWNSTAIRS WITH EVERYBODY ELSE?
JULIE, JULIE, WOULD YOU
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE?
SURE.
SEE YOU LATER, HONEY.
♪
VINNIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
COME ON, LET'S GO
DOWN TO THE DANCE.
I JUST CAN'T, MR. KOTTER,
NOT WITHOUT A DATE.
I MEAN, THE GUYS'LL BE
SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME.
I MEAN YOU GOT NO IDEA WHAT
KIND OF PRESSURE I'M UNDER
BEING A LIVING LEGEND.
♪
VINNIE, BEING A LADIES' MAN
DOESN'T MAKE YOU A MAN.
IT TAKES MORE GUTS TO GO DOWN
THERE AND FACE YOUR FRIENDS
WITHOUT A DATE THAN IT
DOES TO STAY UP HERE ALONE
AND HIDE.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
BELIEVE ME, VINNIE.
YOUR FRIENDS WILL UNDERSTAND.
♪
YOU REALLY THINK SO?
VINNIE, LOOK ON THIS GLOBE.
THERE'S A PLACE
HERE CALLED IRAN.
I WANNA TELL YOU A
STORY ABOUT A GUY IN IRAN.
NO, NO.
NO MORE STORIES.
I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
I'LL GO TO THE
DANCE, I'LL GO HOME,
I'LL DO MY HOMEWORK.
BUT NO MORE STORIES.
VINNIE, LISTEN,
THIS IS A GOOD ONE.
♪
I'M NOT AS YOUNG
AS I USED TO BE.
AH, GO ON, MR. WOODMAN.
YOU WERE NEVER YOUNG.
♪
I HAD TO PAY WASHINGTON
A DOLLAR TO CUT IN.
THAT FISHBECK NEVER
KNOWS WHEN TO STOP.
IT MUST BE THOSE
ORTHOPEDIC SHOES.
YOU NEED A DRINK.
OH, COME ON,
MICHAEL, LET'S BOOGIE.
I BROKE MY BOOGIE.
♪
EH, VINNIE, ALL RIGHT.
HEY!
HEY.
HEY YO, WHERE IS
SHE? WHERE IS SHE?
♪
WHAT?
YOUR DATE.
♪
I DON'T GOT ONE.
♪
OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY.
I THOUGHT I JUST HEARD
VINNIE BARBARINO SAY
HE DON'T GOT A DATE.
THAT'S RIGHT, ARNOLD,
I DON'T GOT A DATE.
AND ON ACCOUNT OF THAT,
I WAS AFRAID TO COME HERE
AND SHOW UP IN
FRONT OF YOU GUYS.
OH, VINNIE, VINNIE, VINNIE.
HEY, IT'S OKAY.
YOU SHOWED ME HOW
TO ACT WITH A DATE,
I CAN SHOW YOU HOW
TO ACT WITHOUT A DATE.
♪
SEE VINNIE, YOUR
FRIENDS UNDERSTAND.
YEAH, MR. KOTTER IS RIGHT.
THING LIKE THAT COULD
HAPPEN TO ANYBODY, VINNIE.
HEY, WE UNDERSTAND.
HEY, DON'T WE, JUAN?
OH YEAH, YEAH, WE
ALL UNDERSTAND,
AND YOU LADIES
UNDERSTAND, TOO, DON'T YOU?
♪
WHAT A COINCIDENCE, VINNIE.
THERE'S SOMEBODY ELSE
HERE WITHOUT A DATE.
WHO?
♪
VINNIE!
♪
COME ON, VINNIE, LET'S DANCE.
THEY'RE PLAYIN' OUR SONG.
COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S DANCE!
LET'S GO, COME ON!
♪ DANCE, DANCE, DISCO BABY ♪♪
♪
JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY UNCLE ATLAS?
NO.
HE USED TO PLAY
HANDBALL EVERY AFTERNOON
WITH THIS GUY MORTY.
TWENTY YEARS HE PLAYED HANDBALL.
NOW ONE DAY THEY'RE
IN THE LOCKER ROOM
AFTER THE HANDBALL GAME
AND HIS FRIEND MORTY, THE
GUY HE PLAYS HANDBALL WITH,
IS PUTTING ON A GIRDLE.
MORTY WAS PUTTING ON A GIRDLE?
THAT'S WHAT MY UNCLE ATLAS SAID.
"MORTY, YOU'RE
PUTTING ON A GIRDLE!
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN WEARING A GIRDLE?"
MORTY SAID, "EVER SINCE MY WIFE
FOUND IT IN A GLOVE COMPARTMENT
IN MY CAR."
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ AND A SMILE... ♪♪
ABOUT MY COUSIN SHERMIE?
NEVER SAID ANYTHING TILL
HE WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
NO, I NEVER HEARD
ABOUT THAT ONE.
THIS IS A TRUE STORY, IT
AMAZED MEDICAL SCIENCE.
THIS YOUNG BOY
NEVER SAID ANYTHING
TILL HE WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
ALL OF A SUDDEN ONE DAY HE
COMES DOWN FOR BREAKFAST.
MY UNCLE MAX
LOOKS AT HIM, HE SAYS,
"CEREAL COLD."
MY UNCLE MAX SAID,
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"CEREAL COLD."
SAYS, "SHERMIE, FOR NINE
YEARS YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
HOW COME ALL OF A SUDDEN
THIS MORNING YOU SAY
'CEREAL COLD'?"
SHERMIE SAYS,
"WELL, UP TILL NOW,
EVERYTHING HAD BEEN ALL RIGHT."
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪
♪
HEY BOOM BOOM.
OH.
HI THERE.
HEY FREDDIE, UM,
I WAS WONDERIN' IF YOU COULD GO
TO THE SADIE HAWKINS
DANCE WITH ME SATURDAY.
- SATURDAY NIGHT?
- YEAH.
WELL, LET ME SEE, I'M NOT SURE
IF I MIGHT BE FREE
THEN, YOU KNOW?
SEE I MIGHT HAVE TO STAY
HOME AND WASH MY HAIR.
OKAY, FREDDIE.
YOU GOT TWO CHOICES
SATURDAY NIGHT.
EITHER YOU GO TO
THE DANCE WITH ME
OR YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL ALONE.
VERNAJEAN, I'D LOVE TO TAKE
YOU TO THE DANCE ANY TIME.
I THOUGHT SO.
GIRLS ASKIN' GUYS OUT.
I THINK THE WHOLE
THING IS STUPID.
YOU KNOW WHEN THEY
SHOULD BE ABLE TO ASK US OUT?
WHEN THEY CAN GET US IN TROUBLE.
HEY, LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT NOW.
ANY GIRL CAN ASK ANY GUT
OUT ON SADIE HAWKINS DAY?
YOU GOT IT, ARNOLD.
I SEE.
HI BOYS.
READY FOR THE DANCE
SATURDAY NIGHT?
JUAN, HERE, I WROTE
THIS NOTE FOR YOU.
- LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
- WHAT'S IN THE NOTE?
COME ON!
HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
EPSTEIN GOT A NOTE.
HEY, COME ON!
SO, BIG DEAL.
EPSTEIN'S ALWAYS GOT A NOTE.
WHEN HE WAS BORN HE HAD A
NOTE EXPLAINING WHY HE WAS LATE.
YEAH, BUT MR. KOTTER,
THIS IS A NOTE TO EPSTEIN.
OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, IF
IT'S A NOTE TO EPSTEIN,
THEN IT'S EPSTEIN'S OWN
PERSONAL PROPERTY.
UNLESS HE WANTS
TO SHARE IT WITH US.
- HEY!
- COME ON!
YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS, RIGHT?
- COME ON.
- RIGHT, LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
COME ON, WHAT DOES IT SAY?
"DEAR JUAN,
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
MY KID WANTS TO DATE
A PUERTO RICAN JEW."
SIGNED JUANITA LEVINE'S MOTHER.
ALL RIGHT!
LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A DATE, JUAN.
OKAY, COME ON, SIT DOWN.
LET'S TAKE ATTENDANCE.
ANDERSON IS HERE...
KOTTER, HIDE ME!
HIDE ME QUICK.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, MR. WOODMAN?
MISSED A PAYMENT ON YOUR TIE?
NO, IT'S WORSE THAN THAT.
MISS FISHBECK IS TRAILING ME.
SHE'S GONNA ASK ME
TO GO TO THAT DANCE.
MR. WOODMAN, IF THERE'S
ONE THING YOU ARE NOT,
IT'S A SWEATHOG.
UH, MR. WOODMAN?
HI THERE.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MISS FISHBECK?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MISS FISHBECK?
NOTHIN' THAT A BIG BROWN
PAPER BAG OVER HER HEAD
WOULDN'T CURE.
YOU KNOW, MR. WOODMAN,
YOU'D PROBABLY BE BETTER OFF
STAYIN' HOME AND
PLAYIN' STRIP SOLITAIRE.
EPSTEIN, GET BENT.
OOH!
CHECK THE HALLWAY,
WILL YOU, KOTTER?
SEE IF THE COAST IS CLEAR.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
ALL RIGHT, LOUIS, YOU
CAN MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
THANKS, KOTTER.
I GUESS THIS IS IT.
GOODBYE.
SO, UM, VINNIE, WHO YOU
GOIN' WITH TO THE DANCE?
WELL, I AIN'T DECIDED YET
WHO I'M GONNA LET TAKE ME.
I MAY HAVE TO HOLD A RAFFLE.
YEAH, THE, UH,
WINNER GETS A TURKEY.
WELL, I THINK THAT THE SADIE
HAWKINS IDEA IS A TERRIFIC ONE.
IT IS HIGH TIME THE
TABLES WERE TURNED
AND GIRLS FOUND
OUT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
TO GET TURNED DOWN FOR A DATE.
I AM NOT EASY.
HEY ARNOLD?
OH YES, YES!
A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
I WOULD LOVE TO GO
TO THE DANCE WITH YOU.
WE'LL DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY.
ARNOLD, I JUST WANTED
TO BORROW YOUR PENCIL.
OH.
SO HERE.
WELL, ARNOLD,
I TAKE IT YOU DON'T
HAVE A DATE YET.
OH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!
MR. KOTTER, COULD I RENT THE
MISSUS FOR SATURDAY NIGHT?
HEY ARNOLD, GIVE ME A BREAK!
I MEAN, SHE STILL MIGHT ASK ME.
ALL RIGHT.
WAIT UP, WAIT UP.
COME ON, EPSTEIN.
SEE YOU.
DON'T FORGET YOUR
SOCIAL STUDIES HOMEWORK.
MR. KOTTER, EVEN THOUGH I THINK
THIS WHOLE SADIE HAWKINS THING
IS A STUPID IDEA,
I THINK I SHOULD GIVE
ARNOLD A FEW POINTERS
ON GETTIN' A DATE.
COME OVER HERE, COME OVER.
NOW, FIRST THING YOU GOTTA
DO IS THE VINNIE BARBARINO LOOK.
OKAY, YOUR HAIR, FOR
INSTANCE, VERY CASUAL.
IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE IT'S
BEING BLOWN BY UNSEEN WINDS.
HOW'S THAT?
YEAH, THAT LOOKS BETTER.
ALL RIGHT, THE SECOND IS
VINNIE BARBARINO STANCE, OKAY?
NOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH A GIRL,
YOU DON'T WANNA LET HER KNOW
THAT YOU'RE THERE, RIGHT?
VERY NONCHALANT, OKAY?
KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED,
STAND IN THE CORNER.
VINNIE, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE
YOURSELF A THIRD-DEGREE
CORDUROY BURN.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LOOSEN UP.
WE GOTTA LOOSEN
UP HERE, ALL RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, START YOUR LEGS.
START TO FEEL WHO YOU ARE.
♪ SAY BA-BA-BA-BA-BARBARINO ♪
♪ A-BA-BA-BA-BA-BABARINO ♪
♪ A-BA-BA-BA-BA-BARBARINO ♪
♪ YOU GOT ME ROCKIN'
AND A ROLLIN' AND A BOPPIN'
AND A... BARBARINO ♪♪
EARTH TO VINNIE!
EARTH TO VINNIE!
COME IN, VINNIE.
I'M SORRY, ARNOLD, I GOT
CARRIED AWAY WITH MYSELF.
I THINK YOUR PANTS
ARE UNDER ARREST.
DO YOU WANT ME TO TRY THAT?
YEAH, WOULD YOU DO THAT?
START TO FEEL WHO YOU ARE.
♪ I SAID HO-HO-HO-HO-HORSHACK ♪
♪ HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HORSHACK ♪
♪ HO-HO-HO-HO-HORSHACK ♪♪
BOY, I HOPE THAT
WORKS BETTER FOR HIM
THAN IT DOES FOR ME.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKIN' ABOUT, VINNIE?
I DON'T GOT A DATE YET
FOR THAT STUPID DANCE.
ME, VINNIE BARBARINO.
NOBODY'S ASKED YOU?
I KNOW!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
HEY, YOU WON'T TELL NONE
OF THE GUYS, WILL YOU?
NO, VINNIE.
THAT'S GOOD, I KNEW
YOU'D UNDERSTAND,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YOU'RE
OLDER AND YOU'RE MARRIED
AND YOUR LIFE IS
PRETTY MUCH OVER NOW.
WELL, I MEAN LIKE AS FAR
AS THE FUN PART GOES.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, VINNIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO
FOR A GOOD TIME NOW?
I GO DOWN TO THE
CUT RATE DRUGSTORE
AND I HAVE A MAALOX MALT.
THEN FOR KICKS, I COME
HOME AND I TURN ON THE TV
AND I GET UNDRESSED IN
FRONT OF THE BIONIC WOMAN.
HI MR. KOTTER.
SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
I JUST FORGOT MY BOOK.
YO, MAKE IT QUICK, WE'RE
TALKIN' PRIVATE HERE.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY
YOU'RE HAVIN' ANY TROUBLE, VINNIE.
YOU CERTAINLY DO
HAVE A WAY WITH WOMEN.
I KNOW, THAT'S WHY IT
DON'T MAKE NO SENSE.
VINNIE?
WHEN YOU'RE DONE IN
HERE, COULD I TALK TO YOU?
I WANNA ASK YOU... SOMETHING.
YEAH, MAYBE, IF I GOT SOME TIME.
OH.
OKAY.
BYE, CHARMAINE.
- VINNIE?
- YEAH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT HAPPENED?
CHARMAINE LEFT HER
BOOK HERE ON PURPOSE
SO SHE COULD COME
BACK AND ASK YOU
TO GO TO THE DANCE.
WELL, THEN WHAT STOPPED HER?
I THINK IT WAS YOUR
CHARMING PERSONALITY.
THANK YOU, MR. KOTTER.
VINNIE, LET ME TELL
YOU A LITTLE STORY.
OH NO, PLEASE, DON'T TELL
ME ONE OF YOUR STORIES.
NOW YOU'LL ENJOY THIS ONE.
WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL
HERE, MY BEST FRIEND'S NAME
WAS BONZO MERETTI.
RIGHT, I KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THIS
ISN'T ABOUT BONZO,
IT'S ABOUT HIS SISTER BETTY.
YOU GOT IT?
YEAH, BETTY MERETTI.
BETTY MERETTI WAS THE
CUTEST GIRL IN THE SCHOOL,
BUT NOBODY EVER
ASKED HER TO GO OUT
'CAUSE EVERYBODY THOUGHT
SHE ALWAYS HAD A DATE.
SO THE CUTEST GIRL WAS
SITTIN' HOME ALONE EVERY NIGHT.
I GUESS YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED, RIGHT?
NO.
WELL, FINALLY SOMEBODY
DID ASK HER TO GO OUT.
IT WAS NO-FACE FINKLEMAN.
TALKED LIKE THIS, "OH, MY
NAME IS NO-FACE FINKLEMAN.
I GOT NO FACE ON ME, HE HE."
NOW NO-FACE WAS NOT THE
BEST-LOOKING GUY IN SCHOOL.
NO, IT DON'T SOUND THAT WAY.
SO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, RIGHT?
THEY WENT TO THE DANCE,
THEY HAD A GOOD TIME,
AND THEY WENT STEADY, RIGHT?
NO, NO-FACE HAPPENED TO
GET A LITTLE FRESH WITH BETTY
AND BONZO BEAT HIM TO A PULP.
BUT THE THING IS THAT THE
BEST-LOOKING GIRL IN SCHOOL
WAS SITTIN' HOME
ALONE WITHOUT A DATE.
BOY, THAT'S SOME TERRIFIC STORY.
WHY DON'T YOU SEND IT
IN TO READER'S DIGEST?
WELL, DON'T YOU SEE?
I MEAN, IT'S RELEVANT
TO WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE BECAUSE...
ARNOLD?
YEAH?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE
SADIE HAWKINS DANCE WITH ME?
SURE.
BUT WOULD IT BE OKAY
IF I OPENED MY EYES
SO I COULD SEE WHO YOU ARE?
AH, HI CHARMAINE.
BOY, DID I BLOW THAT ONE.
I REALLY BLEW IT.
WELL, VINCENZO,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS?
GIVES YOU SATURDAY
NIGHT FREE TO STAY HOME
AND CATCH UP ON YOUR HOMEWORK.
MR. KOTTER, DON'T YOU REALIZE
IF I DON'T GO OUT
SATURDAY NIGHT,
HOW BORING MY
CONFESSION'S GONNA BE?
FATHER O'MALLEY LOOKS
FORWARD TO SEEING ME
ALL WEEK LONG.
♪
- HORSHACK.
- HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M COMBING MY HAIR
WITH UNSEEN WINDS.
YO VINNIE, ALL RIGHT.
SO WHO'S TAKING YOU TO
THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE
TOMORROW NIGHT?
WHO'S GONNA ESCORT
OUR ITALIAN STALLION?
AND IT BETTER NOT BE MY SISTER.
WELL, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, JUAN,
BECAUSE I'M BRINGIN'
A MYSTERY GUEST.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY NOW, LET ME
GUESS, LET ME GUESS.
IS SHE TALL?
WELL, SHE... IS SHE SHORT?
- SORT OF.
- WHICH?
TALL OR SHORT?
BOTH.
VINNIE, HOW COULD SHE BE BOTH?
WELL, PARTS OF HER ARE TALL
AND PARTS OF HER ARE SHORT.
- HEY FREDDIE?
- YEAH?
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD
KIND OF HELP ME BRUSH UP
ON SOME OF THE NEW DANCES
FOR THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT?
OH, SURE, ARNOLD. WHICH
ONES YOU NEED TO LEARN?
ALL OF 'EM.
RIGHT, OKAY. WE'RE GONNA
START WITH THE HUSTLE.
-ALL RIGHT? -OKAY.
OKAY, NOW THE FIRST
THING I WANT YOU TO DO
IS I WANT YOU TO...
FEEL YOUR HIPS.
NO, ARNOLD, ARNOLD,
NOT WITH YOUR HANDS.
FEEL 'EM WITH YOUR HEAD.
GOT IT?
I DON'T THINK IT'LL REACH.
EPSTEIN... JUST WATCH
ME... EPSTEIN, GIVE ME A BEAT.
NOW WATCH.
VERY SIMPLE, SEE?
ONE, TWO, THREE,
GO, ONE, TWO, THREE.
- FOLLOW ME, COME ON.
- OKAY.
ONE, TWO, THREE, YEAH.
ONE, TWO.
NOW SPIN WITH ME.
NOT TOO FAR NOW.
SIDE BY SIDE.
- GET A LITTLE SLIDE THERE.
- OH, I GOT IT!
I GOT THE MUSIC IN ME!
HEY, HEY!
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A
SCHOOL, NOT SOUL TRAIN.
OH HEY, MR. WOODMAN, I WAS
JUST SHOWING THE GUYS HERE
SOME NEW STEPS FOR THE
DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH.
WELL, I'M GOING TO
THE DANCE MYSELF.
OH YEAH? THOUGHT
YOU WASN'T GOIN'.
WELL, I WASN'T, BUT,
UH, MISS FISHBECK, UH...
SHE CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.
SHE, UH, SHE HID IN THE
FACULTY MEN'S ROOM.
WHEN I WALKED IN, SHE, UH,
SHE JUMPED OUT OF A STALL
AND POPPED THE QUESTION.
OH, YOU KNOW,
WASHINGTON, I USED TO BE
A PRETTY GOOD DANCER MYSELF.
REALLY?
LET ME SEE THAT STEP AGAIN.
OH, SURE... EPSTEIN, YOU WANNA
GIVE ME THAT BEAT ONE MORE TIME?
A-ONE, A-TWO,
A-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-TO-DO.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
ONE, TWO, THREE,
NOW TWIRL THIS WAY.
ONE, TWO, THREE...
THAT'S IT, WOODY!
COME ON, WOODY, ALL RIGHT.
AND SLIDE.
ALL RIGHT.
AND CLICK THEM HEELS.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
ONE, TWO, THREE...
MR. WOODMAN, YOU MUST BE
THE BROTHER THE JACKSON FIVE
DON'T TALK ABOUT.
KOTTER, I'M JUST BRUSHIN'
UP ON THE LATEST STEPS
FOR THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.
YOU RESENT ME
BECAUSE I'M, UH, WITH IT
AND YOU'RE NOT.
HI BOYS.
GUESS WHAT?
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I
HAVE BEEN SO BUSY
I FORGOT ALL ABOUT ASKING
SOMEBODY TO THE DANCE
TOMORROW NIGHT.
A-ONE, A-TWO,
A-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-TO-DO.
CUTE.
VINNIE?
I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY TOO LATE,
AND I WOULD HAVE
ASKED YOU SOONER,
BUT I WAS OUT SICK ALL WEEK.
BUT YOU WOULDN'T BY ANY
CHANCE BE FREE TO GO WITH ME
TO THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT?
WELL, IT SHOWS PRETTY
GOOD TASTE THAT YOU ASK,
BUT, UM, I ALREADY GOT A DATE
FOR THAT DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT.
SURE, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.
WELL, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
YEAH, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
SO, YOU GOT A DATE AFTER ALL.
NO.
NO, THEN WHY'D YOU
TURN THAT GIRL DOWN?
SHE WAS REALLY CUTE.
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND, MR. KOTTER,
I'M VINNIE BARBARINO.
I GOT A REPUTATION TO THINK OF.
WHAT WOULD THOSE GUYS
THINK IF THEY KNEW I GOT A DATE
THE DAY BEFORE THE DANCE?
WELL, MY FRIEND,
I HOPE, UH, YOU AND
YOUR REPUTATION
HAVE A GOOD TIME
TOGETHER TOMORROW NIGHT.
♪
COME ON, MICHAEL,
LET'S GET IT ON!
♪
WELL, LITTLE GIRL, HOW'D
YOU LIKE TO PLAY HOMEROOM?
HMM.
DON'T YOU WANNA
GET A PASSING GRADE
IN SOCIAL STUDIES?
THIS IS GREAT UP
HERE, JUST YOU... ME...
AND VINNIE.
♪
HI KIDS.
♪
VINNIE, WHY AREN'T YOU
DOWNSTAIRS WITH EVERYBODY ELSE?
JULIE, JULIE, WOULD YOU
EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE?
SURE.
SEE YOU LATER, HONEY.
♪
VINNIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
COME ON, LET'S GO
DOWN TO THE DANCE.
I JUST CAN'T, MR. KOTTER,
NOT WITHOUT A DATE.
I MEAN, THE GUYS'LL BE
SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME.
I MEAN YOU GOT NO IDEA WHAT
KIND OF PRESSURE I'M UNDER
BEING A LIVING LEGEND.
♪
VINNIE, BEING A LADIES' MAN
DOESN'T MAKE YOU A MAN.
IT TAKES MORE GUTS TO GO DOWN
THERE AND FACE YOUR FRIENDS
WITHOUT A DATE THAN IT
DOES TO STAY UP HERE ALONE
AND HIDE.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
BELIEVE ME, VINNIE.
YOUR FRIENDS WILL UNDERSTAND.
♪
YOU REALLY THINK SO?
VINNIE, LOOK ON THIS GLOBE.
THERE'S A PLACE
HERE CALLED IRAN.
I WANNA TELL YOU A
STORY ABOUT A GUY IN IRAN.
NO, NO.
NO MORE STORIES.
I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
I'LL GO TO THE
DANCE, I'LL GO HOME,
I'LL DO MY HOMEWORK.
BUT NO MORE STORIES.
VINNIE, LISTEN,
THIS IS A GOOD ONE.
♪
I'M NOT AS YOUNG
AS I USED TO BE.
AH, GO ON, MR. WOODMAN.
YOU WERE NEVER YOUNG.
♪
I HAD TO PAY WASHINGTON
A DOLLAR TO CUT IN.
THAT FISHBECK NEVER
KNOWS WHEN TO STOP.
IT MUST BE THOSE
ORTHOPEDIC SHOES.
YOU NEED A DRINK.
OH, COME ON,
MICHAEL, LET'S BOOGIE.
I BROKE MY BOOGIE.
♪
EH, VINNIE, ALL RIGHT.
HEY!
HEY.
HEY YO, WHERE IS
SHE? WHERE IS SHE?
♪
WHAT?
YOUR DATE.
♪
I DON'T GOT ONE.
♪
OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY.
I THOUGHT I JUST HEARD
VINNIE BARBARINO SAY
HE DON'T GOT A DATE.
THAT'S RIGHT, ARNOLD,
I DON'T GOT A DATE.
AND ON ACCOUNT OF THAT,
I WAS AFRAID TO COME HERE
AND SHOW UP IN
FRONT OF YOU GUYS.
OH, VINNIE, VINNIE, VINNIE.
HEY, IT'S OKAY.
YOU SHOWED ME HOW
TO ACT WITH A DATE,
I CAN SHOW YOU HOW
TO ACT WITHOUT A DATE.
♪
SEE VINNIE, YOUR
FRIENDS UNDERSTAND.
YEAH, MR. KOTTER IS RIGHT.
THING LIKE THAT COULD
HAPPEN TO ANYBODY, VINNIE.
HEY, WE UNDERSTAND.
HEY, DON'T WE, JUAN?
OH YEAH, YEAH, WE
ALL UNDERSTAND,
AND YOU LADIES
UNDERSTAND, TOO, DON'T YOU?
♪
WHAT A COINCIDENCE, VINNIE.
THERE'S SOMEBODY ELSE
HERE WITHOUT A DATE.
WHO?
♪
VINNIE!
♪
COME ON, VINNIE, LET'S DANCE.
THEY'RE PLAYIN' OUR SONG.
COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S DANCE!
LET'S GO, COME ON!
♪ DANCE, DANCE, DISCO BABY ♪♪
♪
JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY UNCLE ATLAS?
NO.
HE USED TO PLAY
HANDBALL EVERY AFTERNOON
WITH THIS GUY MORTY.
TWENTY YEARS HE PLAYED HANDBALL.
NOW ONE DAY THEY'RE
IN THE LOCKER ROOM
AFTER THE HANDBALL GAME
AND HIS FRIEND MORTY, THE
GUY HE PLAYS HANDBALL WITH,
IS PUTTING ON A GIRDLE.
MORTY WAS PUTTING ON A GIRDLE?
THAT'S WHAT MY UNCLE ATLAS SAID.
"MORTY, YOU'RE
PUTTING ON A GIRDLE!
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN WEARING A GIRDLE?"
MORTY SAID, "EVER SINCE MY WIFE
FOUND IT IN A GLOVE COMPARTMENT
IN MY CAR."
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YOU ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪♪
♪ WE ALWAYS COULD
SPOT A FRIEND ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ AND A SMILE... ♪♪