Welcome Back, Kotter (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 4 - The Fight - full transcript
DO YOU KNOW THAT, BEFORE I
MET YOU MY FATHER DIDN'T LIKE
ANY OF THE GIRLS I
WAS GOIN' OUT WITH?
WHY NOT?
I DON'T KNOW, I USED TO
BRING HOME ALL THESE GIRLS.
AND SOME OF THEM
WERE VERY NICE GIRLS,
BUT MY FATHER DIDN'T LIKE THEM.
HE SAID, WHY DON'T YOU FIND ME
A GIRL JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER?
THEN I'LL BE HAPPY.
SO I WENT OUT, I FOUND A
GIRL JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.
WHAT HAPPENED?
DIDN'T WORK OUT.
I MEAN, SHE WAS 58
YEARS OLD, SHE HAD...
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪
HEY, FREDDIE, HOW YA DOIN'?
HEY, YO, VINNIE, YOU GOT IT?
- WHAT?
- MY ENGLISH HOMEWORK.
EPSTEIN SAID YOU'D DO IT.
OH NO, FREDDIE, MAN, THAT
WENT SMACK OUT OF MY HEAD.
LAST NIGHT, LAST NIGHT, I
WAS SITTIN' DOWN READY
TO DO IT, RIGHT?
THE PHONE RINGS.
IT'S KIKI KORNBERG.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
SHE ASKED ME TO COME
OVER 'CAUSE SHE'S AFRAID
TO WATCH LAVERNE
AND SHIRLEY ALONE.
YEAH, WELL,
THANKS A LOT, VINNIE.
BECAUSE OF YOU, I'MMA
GET AN F IN ENGLISH.
FREDDIE, LOOK, IF IT
MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER
SO AM I.
WELL IT DON'T, LINGUINE BRAIN.
HEY, WHO YOU CALLIN'
LINGUINE BRAIN?
LOOK, FREDDIE, I MEAN YOU
GOTTA BE PRETTY STUPID
TO THINK SOMEBODY
LIKE ME COULD EVEN DO...
STUPID?
ALL RIGHT, HEY, HEY, HEY,
COME ON NOW, COME ON NOW.
WATCHIN' A FIGHT I AIN'T
IN MAKES ME NERVOUS.
I'M STUPID, YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW YOUR ABC'S.
OH SURE, I DON'T KNOW MY ABC'S.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU
GUYS FIGHTIN' ABOUT?
HOMEWORK.
YOU GUYS ARE FIGHTIN'
ABOUT HOMEWORK?
I THINK I'M IN THE WRONG SCHOOL.
LOOK, MR. KOTTER,
FREDDIE'S MAD AT VINNIE
'CAUSE VINNIE DIDN'T DO
FREDDIE'S ENGLISH HOMEWORK,
LIKE I TOLD HIM.
WAIT A SECOND, YOU'RE
MAD AT VINNIE BECAUSE VINNIE
DIDN'T DO HIS HOMEWORK?
NAH.
OH, THEN VINNIE DID
DO HIS HOMEWORK.
NO.
WELL THAT'S STUPID, I
MEAN WHY WOULD I THINK
THAT VINNIE'S GONNA
DO HIS HOMEWORK?
LOOK, MR. KOTTER, NOBODY
CARES WHETHER VINNIE
DOES HIS HOMEWORK.
VINNIE DIDN'T DO FREDDIE'S
ENGLISH HOMEWORK,
LIKE I TOLD HIM!
WAIT A MINUTE!
VINNIE DIDN'T DO FREDDIE'S
ENGLISH HOMEWORK
LIKE JUAN TOLD HIM.
DID JUAN DO ANYBODY'S HOMEWORK?
DID FREDDIE DO
ANYBODY'S HOMEWORK?
WHY WOULD ANYBODY
DO VINNIE'S HOMEWORK?
ALL RIGHT, GOOD MORNING.
NOW, I KNOW I'M GONNA
HATE MYSELF FOR SAYING THIS,
BUT WILL YOU ALL PLEASE TAKE OUT
YOUR SOCIAL STUDIES HOMEWORK.
NOW, YESTERDAY WE WERE
TALKIN' ABOUT THE RENAISSANCE
AND THEIR PRIZE POSSESSIONS.
AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE A NICE THING IF YOU ALL
WROTE ABOUT OR BROUGHT IN
YOUR OWN PRIZE POSSESSION.
MR. KOTTER, I WOULD LIKE
TO GO FIRST, ALL RIGHT?
NOW I KNOW I'M IN
THE WRONG SCHOOL.
ALL RIGHT, MY MOST
PRIZE POSSESSION IS THIS,
MY LITTLE BLACK BOOK.
NOW, ALL LITTLE RENAISSANCE
KIDS HAD THESE LITTLE BLACK BOOKS.
NOW YOU'RE PROBABLY
ASKIN' YOURSELVES,
WHY IS THERE A LETTER AFTER
EACH OF THESE GIRLS NAMES?
NO.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.
NOW, THIS IS THE VINNIE
BARBARINO RATING SYSTEM.
NOW, PG, PG MEANS PRETTY GOOD.
AND R, R MEANS REALLY GOOD.
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T ASK,
VINNIE, BUT WHAT DOES X MEAN?
DOLORES DELVECCHIO.
DOLORES DELVECCHIO.
OKAY, FREDDIE, YOU, NEXT.
MY MOST PRIZE POSSESSION,
I GOT IT FOR YOU, BABY.
HOMEWORK, HUH-HA.
RIGHT.
OH, MAY I PRESENT
MY PET FLEA, HOWARD.
OH.
WHERE'D YOU FIND HIM,
FREDDIE, IN EPSTEIN'S HAIR?
YOU KNOW, ARNOLD, YOU'RE
REALLY DEVELOPING QUITE A...
SOPHISTICATED SENSE OF HUMOR.
I WAS WONDERIN' HOW MUCH
LAUGHIN' YOU'RE GONNA DO
WITHOUT A TONGUE.
YOU KNOW, FREDDIE,
SOMEHOW I GET THE FEELING
THAT YOU DIDN'T
DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
ME, FORGET MY HOMEWORK?
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HOWARD DID YOU
HEAR... WHERE'S HOWARD?
NOW YOU MADE ME DROP HIM.
OH, HERE HE IS, FREDDIE.
COME HOME, HOWARD.
OH, LITTLE HOWARD.
OH, THANK YOU, MY MAN.
HEY, GIVE ME FIVE.
WILL YOU GUYS CUT THAT OUT?
YOU, DOWN!
YOU, DOWN!
YOU, UP!
OH.
THIS HERE'S MY DINGY.
VERY IMPRESSIVE, JUAN.
YUP, IT'S MADE OUT OF...
YOU KNOW, THE HORSHACKS
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
A SEAFARING MEN.
I USED ELMER'S...
IT WAS POPEYE HORSHACK
WHO DISCOVERED CONEY ISLAND.
TOOK ME 12 WEEKS...
OH, TO GO DOWN TO THE SEA...
HORSHACK, WILL YOU SIT DOWN?
OH, BOY!
I SAT ON YOUR DINGY.
HORSHACK, YOU SQUIRREL.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
LIKE THIS.
OH, JUAN, I'M SORRY.
OH, SORRY'S AN
EASY THING TO SAY.
OH, JUAN, I'M REALLY
SORRY, I SAID...
WAIT A MINUTE, JUAN, JUAN,
JUAN, JUAN, JUAN, JUAN,
JUST TAKE IT EASY, ALL
RIGHT, JUST TAKE IT...
I MEAN, I MEAN, THIS SHIP AIN'T
A TOTAL WRECK, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, YOU CAN STILL
USE ONE OF THESE THINGS
TO GET SOMETHING
OUT OF YOUR TEETH.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
JUAN, ARNOLD SAID HE...
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
HOMEWORK, FREDDIE, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HOMEWORK?
YOU DIDN'T EVEN
DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
NO, YOU JUST... YOU JUST
TRIED THAT HOWARD THE FLEA BIT.
COME ON, IT DIDN'T WORK
LAST SEMESTER IN ALGEBRA,
IT AIN'T GONNA WORK NOW.
EVEN KOTTER AIN'T THAT STUPID.
WELL, IT AIN'T LIKE BEIN'
RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMEBODY
GETTIN' A F IN ENGLISH.
OH, NOW FREDDIE'S RIGHT, VINNIE.
YOU SHOULD NOT
HAVE LET HIM DOWN.
YOU DIDN'T ' SEE ME FORGETTIN'
TO DO YOUR SOCIAL STUDIES
HOMEWORK LAST WEEK, OH NO...
HORSHACK, WILL YOU
JUST KEEP QUIET, WILL YA?
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL
HIM YOU DID MY HOMEWORK.
YOU'RE SO STUPID SOMETIMES!
WELL NOW I'M GLAD...
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
REMEMBER ME?
TEACHER, MR. KOTTER,
AUTHORITY FIGURE.
YOU PEOPLE HAVE
GIVEN ME A HEADACHE
WITH ALL THIS ARGUING.
I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE
AND TAKE THESE ASPIRINS
AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE'RE
GONNA CONTINUE WITH CLASS.
THERE'LL BE NO
TALKING WHILE I'M GONE.
NO TALKING.
HEY, HORSHACK, BIG
NEWS FLASH, YOU'RE SHORT.
HA!
YOU TOO, MUNCHKIN.
HA!
THE WHOLE ROOM IS SHORT.
HI, THERE.
I'M TALL.
HEY, FREDDIE, I HAD IT
ABOUT UP TO HERE WITH THE,
HI, THERE.
HI, THERE BIT.
YEAH, FREDDIE.
YOU KNOW, YOU
ARE NOT SO ELEGANT.
YOU ARE FROM BROOKLYN,
JUST LIKE THE REST OF US.
OH, YEAH, WELL LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHIN' ELSE,
LITTLE MR. HORSHACK.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THAT
STUPID LAUGH OF YOURS.
YEAH, YEAH, YOU
SOUND LIKE A '57 PONTIAC
WITHOUT A MUFFLER.
AND WHAT ARE YOU
LAUGHING AT, EPSTEIN?
RUN OUT OF PHONY
NOTES FROM HOME?
DEAR MR. KOTTER, PLEASE EXCUSE
JUAN FOR BEING A SHEEP HEAD.
SIGNED, EPSTEIN'S
MOTHER'S VETERINARIAN.
JUAN!
YOU LIKE THAT
SLAPSTICK, HUH, VINNIE?
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHERE?
WHEN?
THAT'S SOME VOCABULARY, VINNIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE,
YOU'RE A WALKIN' QUESTION MARK.
DUH-DA, DUH-DA.
YOU MAKIN' FUN OF ME?
WHA?
LISTEN, I GOT
SOMETHIN' TO TELL YOU.
YOUR SISTER, JUAN, YOUR SISTER.
OH, YEAH?
FORGET MY SISTER, YOUR MOTHER!
NOT MY MOTHER,
THAT WOMAN'S A SAINT.
OH, YEAH?
THE LIGHT AROUND HER
HEAD DON'T FOOL ME.
YEAH, WELL, I GOTTA
MESSAGE FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT.
IN YOUR PANTS
WITH A BAG OF ANTS.
OH, YEAH, WELL IN YOUR
POCKETS WITH RED HOT ROCKETS.
OH, REALLY?
WELL IN ALL YOUR POCKETS
WITH RED HOT ROCKETS.
HEY, ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
WELL, ARE YOU TALKIN'...
YOU MUST BE TALKIN' TO ME.
ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN
YOU'RE NOT TALKIN' TO ME.
UP YOUR NOSES WITH RUBBER HOSES.
YOU TALKIN' TO US?
HEY, HE TALKIN' TO US?
HE MUST BE TALKIN' TO US.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S
A PERSONAL FOUL.
SWEATHOGS, 15 YARD PENALTY.
FIRST DOWN, KOTTER.
ALL RIGHT, I UNDERSTAND
THAT WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY,
THE LITTLEST THING
CAN TEE YOU OFF.
I ALSO UNDERSTAND HOW
YELLING LIKE SCHLEMIELS SATISFIES
THIS NEED YOU
HAVE TO LET IT OUT.
I ALSO AM A PERSON.
I HAVE A NEED TO LET
IT OUT, IN THE SCHOOL.
CLASS!
NO YELLING.
NO YELLING.
HEY, MR. KOTTER, YOU RIGHT.
THERE SHOULD BE NO MORE YELLING.
AND BESIDES, I AIN'T EVEN
TALKIN' TO THESE PUNKS.
YEAH, WELL I'LL DO
BETTER THAN THAT.
NONE OF YOU'S MY FRIEND NO MORE.
I SECOND THAT PUNK'S MOTION.
I THIRD THAT PUNK'S MOTION.
WITH A CHERRY ON THE TOP.
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE A
DELINQUENT MOUNT RUSHMORE.
OH, COME ON, ARNOLD,
SHAKE HANDS WITH JUAN.
COME ON, YOU'RE FRIENDS,
THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.
COME ON, WILL YOU
SHAKE... GUYS, COME ON!
FREDDIE, COME ON,
SHAKE HANDS WITH VINNIE.
START OVER, COME ON, THIS
IS GETTING OUT OF HAND HERE.
WILL YOU SHAKE HANDS?
VINNIE?
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S WHAT YOU WANT,
IT'S FINE WITH ME.
I'LL JUST SIT HERE FOR
THE REST OF THE PERIOD.
I'LL READ MY PAPER, OKAY?
WE'LL HAVE THIS TOTAL
PERIOD IN COMPLETE SILENCE.
OH, UH, KOTTER...
NOW, THAT'S TEACHING, KOTTER!
♪
HONEY, WOULD YOU EAT?
JULIE, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
KIDS WON'T TALK TO EACH OTHER,
AND I CAN'T TEACH THEM ANYTHING.
WELL, WHAT EVER
YOU DO, EAT FIRST.
I TRIED SOMETHING NEW
WITH THE TUNA CASSEROLE.
THE HARD THINGS
ARE COFFEE BEANS.
THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL,
JULIE, THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL.
MRS. ULCER NEVER COMES OVER.
SHE CAN HAVE MINE.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I
GET THE FEELING THAT YOU
WOULDN'T LIKE MY TUNA CASSEROLE
NO MATTER WHAT I PUT IN IT.
A LOT OF PEOPLE, JULIE,
ARE AFRAID TO GO DOWN
TO THE OCEAN BECAUSE
THEY'VE SEEN JAWS.
I AM AFRAID TO GO
DOWN TO THE OCEAN
BECAUSE I THINK I
WILL GET ATTACKED BY
A GIANT TUNA CASSEROLE.
YOU'RE A VERY, VERY FUNNY MAN.
GABE, GO, GABE, GO AWAY.
YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, GABE.
GABE, THIS ISN'T...
GABE, GO AWAY, AWAY!
FAR AWAY, GO!
LISTEN, SINCE WE'RE
UNBURDENING OURSELVES,
IT'S NO PETUNIA PATCH
LIVING WITH YOU, FELLA.
YOU THINK I LIKE SPENDING
MY ENTIRE LIFE LISTENING
TO YOUR STUPID JOKES?
JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY UNCLE ABDUL?
JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY AUNT SOPHIE?
YOU WANNA KNOW
WHY I TELL JOKES, JULIE?
'CAUSE I NEED TO DO
SOMETHIN' TO CHEER MYSELF UP
AFTER ONE OF YOUR MEALS.
MR. KOTTER, I GOTTA TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE FIGHT WE'S ALL HAVIN'.
NOT NOW, I'M RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT.
HI, MRS. KOTTER.
LISTEN THOUGH, IT'S IMPORTANT.
LIKE I'M THE LEADER OF
THE SWEATHOGS, RIGHT?
WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET
ANYBODY TO FOLLOW MY ORDERS
IF NOBODY'LL EVEN TALK TO ME?
VINNIE, WHEN YOU HAVE A
FIGHT OVER SOMETHING STUPID,
WHAT YOU HAVE TO
DO IS YOU HAVE TO TRY
AND REMEMBER WHAT THE
PEOPLE YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH
REALLY MEAN TO YOU.
AND YOU HAVE TO BE
A BIG ENOUGH PERSON
TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY.
I'M SORRY, JULIE.
ME TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
APOLOGIZIN' FOR?
YOU AIN'T THE ONES WHO
DIDN'T DO FREDDIE'S HOMEWORK.
COME ON, VINNIE.
GET THAT CHAIR AND COME
HAVE SOME DESSERT WITH US.
COME ON, HONEY.
MR. KOTTER ALWAYS THINKS
BETTER WITH WHIPPED CREAM
ON HIS MUSTACHE.
COME ON, SIT DOWN, VINNIE.
THAT'S REAL NICE OF YOU.
I'LL GET SOME PLATES.
AH, LET'S SEE WHAT DO WE GOT?
OH, BOY, THESE ARE MY FAVORITES!
I'LL ENJOY THIS ANYWAY.
STRAWBERRY TARTS, YOU LIKE
STRAWBERRY TARTS, VINNIE?
THEY'RE ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, JULIE, YOU KNOW, WHEN
THE SWEATHOGS HAVE A PROBLEM,
YOU KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME...
YOU GOT CHOCOLATE PUDDING?
WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOCOLATE
PUDDING, DO WE, JULIE?
NO, WE DON'T HAVE ANY.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY
CHOCOLATE PUDDING.
THEY HAVE A PROBLEM, AND
THEY WON'T TALK TO EACH OTHER.
AND IF THEY WON'T
TALK TO EACH OTHER,
I CAN'T TEACH 'EM ANYTHING.
AND IF I CAN'T TEACH 'EM
ANYTHING, I JUST GET CRANKY.
I KNOW, HONEY, BUT...
HOW 'BOUT SPUMONI,
YOU GOT SPUMONI?
DO WE HAVE ANY ICE CREAM?
NO.
WE HAVE TARTS, VINNIE.
TARTS, THAT'S IT!
LOOK, I KNOW THAT, HONEY.
BUT WHEN YOU KEEP MAKING
JOKES ABOUT MY TUNA CAS...
HOW 'BUT DANISH?
YOU GOT LIKE CHERRY
DANISH, NICE CHERRY DANISH?
VINNIE, LOOK, YOU WANNA
HAVE DESSERT, HAVE A TART.
IF YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE A
TART, DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.
THAT'S ALL WE
HAVE, OKAY, IS TARTS.
OKAY.
JULIE, WHEN YOU SAY
THINGS ABOUT MY JOKES,
YOU KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL.
IT WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE CHERRY.
IT COULD BE LIKE YOU
KNOW, PRUNE OR CHEESE.
WE COULD SEND OUT.
WANNA KNOW WHAT THE
BIGGEST JOKE IN THIS HOUSE IS?
- WHAT?
- YOUR TUNA CASSEROLE.
IF YOU JUST WOULDN'T MAKE
TUNA CASSEROLE ANYMORE, I MEAN...
GABE, YOU WANNA
KNOW WHAT I THINK
ABOUT YOUR UNCLE ABDUL?
I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THAT, JULIE.
BELIEVE IT.
WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK
ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, JULIE?
I HAVE SOMETHING I'D LIKE YOU
TO SEND BACK TO NEBRASKA.
SPECIAL DELIVERY.
HOW 'BOUT ESPRESSO?
YOU GOT SOME NICE ESPRESSO?
MY MOTHER, MY MOTHER,
SHE ALWAYS GIVES ESPRESSO.
ONLY THE FINEST.
MR. WOODMAN, I HAVE A FAVOR
TO ASK OF YOU, A REQUEST.
I DON'T TAKE REQUEST, KOTTER.
WHAT DO I LOOK
LIKE, WOLFMAN JACK?
WHAT I AM IS WHAT YOU GET.
JUST A SECOND.
THIS IS A SCHOOL
ORIENTED REQUEST.
IS THIS ONE OF YOUR
HAIR-BRAINED SCHEMES, KOTTER?
WELL, YEAH, SORTA, LOOK.
WHAT I'D LIKE YOU TO
DO IS COME INTO MY CLASS
AND APOLOGIZE TO ME,
AND LET ME FORGIVE YOU.
IT'LL REALLY MEAN A LOT.
BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO
APOLOGIZE FOR, KOTTER.
MR. WOODMAN, IT'S
NOT WHO APOLOGIZES,
IT'S THE APOLOGY THAT'S
THE IMPORTANT THING.
SO YOU CAN COME IN
AND I'LL APOLOGIZE TO YOU,
AND YOU FORGIVE
ME, HOW'S THAT, OKAY?
OKAY, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.
OKAY.
COME RIGHT IN, OKAY?
OKAY.
HI, GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
- NOW, TODAY...
- NOW, KOTTER?
IT'S MR. WOODMAN,
WHAT A SURPRISE!
MR. WOODMAN, OH, COME
ON IN, MR. WOODMAN.
MR. WOODMAN, YOU KNOW
SOMETHING, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO APOLOGIZE TO
YOU FOR 10 YEARS NOW.
I'M THE GUY THAT PUT THE
CATNIP IN YOUR THERMOS.
YOU DID THAT, KOTTER?
YES I DID, AND I APOLOGIZE.
DO YOU FORGIVE ME?
I HAD TO BE RUSHED
TO AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I'M SORRY, MR. WOODMAN.
BUT REMEMBER, FORGIVING
IS AN IMPORTANT THING.
THAT WAS THREE HOURS
IN AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I MEAN, I DIDN'T MIND THAT
VET RUBBING MY STOMACH,
BUT I GOT AWFUL TIRED OF PLAYIN'
WITH THAT STUPID, RUBBER MOUSE.
MR. WOODMAN, I APOLOGIZE.
NOW, YOU ACCEPT MY APOLOGY?
WHY SHOULD I ACCEPT
YOUR APOLOGY?
LISTEN TO YOURSELF.
YOU APOLOGIZE
TOO EASILY, KOTTER.
MR. WOODMAN!
WELL, WE WERE NEVER WHAT
YOU WOULD CALL CLOSE, ANYWAY.
MR. KOTTER, WOULD YOU
MIND KEEPING IT DOWN?
THERE'S PEOPLE TRYING
TO BE ANGRY HERE.
VINNIE, ARE YOU THE
LEADER OF THE SWEATHOGS?
YEAH, THEY AIN'T MY FRIENDS BUT
THEY STILL GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY.
OKAY, OKAY, NOW
LET ME SEE YOU LEAD.
WE GOT A PROBLEM HERE
AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE SOLVED
UNTIL THERE'S AN APOLOGY.
SO GO AHEAD, LEADER,
DO YOUR STUFF.
THAT'S RIGHT, THERE'S
GOTTA BE AN APOLOGY HERE.
HORSHACK, APOLOGIZE.
I WAS GONNA DO
IT ANYWAYS, VINNIE.
HEY, JUAN, I'M REALLY
AND TRULY SORRY
FOR SITTING ON YOUR DINGY.
OH, AND HERE, JUAN.
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
ENOUGH TOOTHPICKS TO
MAKE AND EVEN BIGGER DINGY.
SEE, I GOT THE ONES
WITH THE CELLOPHANE TOP,
THE LITTLE CURLY THINGS,
REAL PRETTY, CLASSY.
OH, JUAN, TO GET
THESE, I HAD TO CRASH
SO MANY BAR MITZVAHS.
WELL... THERE THEY ARE ANYWAYS.
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, YESTERDAY,
YESTERDAY I ASKED YOU PEOPLE
TO BRING IN YOUR MOST
PRIZE POSSESSIONS, RIGHT?
YOU GUYS HAVE A POSSESSION
THAT'S MORE VALUABLE
THAN BROKEN DINGIES
AND FORGOTTEN HOMEWORK.
YOU'VE GOT YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
YOU'RE REALLY CLOSE.
NOW, THAT'S SOMETHIN'
YOU SHOULD FIGHT TO KEEP,
NOT GIVE UP.
JUAN YOU DO WHATEVER YOU
WANT, BUT YOU'RE A SUCKER
IF YOU BLOW IT.
LOOK, MR. KOTTER, FOR A
GUY LIKE ME, IT AIN'T THAT EASY.
I CAN FORGIVE,
BUT I CAN'T FORGET.
BUT THAT DON'T MEAN
WE AIN'T PALS, ARNOLD.
OH, JUAN!
YOU LITTLE JUAN!
YOU LITTLE HORSHACK!
OKAY, NOW WHAT
ABOUT THE REST OF YOU?
I'M REALLY SORRY FOR NOT
DOIN' YOUR HOMEWORK, ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S OKAY, VINNIE.
I PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN
WORSE OFF IF YOU DID DO IT.
HEY, YOU KNOW, I KNOW
THIS IS AN OFF THE WALL IDEA
BUT YOU PEOPLE MIGHT CONSIDER
DOING YOUR OWN HOMEWORK.
OH, FREDDIE, I'M SO SORRY
FOR THE THINGS I SAID.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
VINNIE, OH, VINNIE.
OVER APOLOGIZING, FIVE
YARD PENALTY, SWEATHOGS.
FIRST AND 10, KOTTER.
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪
MET YOU MY FATHER DIDN'T LIKE
ANY OF THE GIRLS I
WAS GOIN' OUT WITH?
WHY NOT?
I DON'T KNOW, I USED TO
BRING HOME ALL THESE GIRLS.
AND SOME OF THEM
WERE VERY NICE GIRLS,
BUT MY FATHER DIDN'T LIKE THEM.
HE SAID, WHY DON'T YOU FIND ME
A GIRL JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER?
THEN I'LL BE HAPPY.
SO I WENT OUT, I FOUND A
GIRL JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.
WHAT HAPPENED?
DIDN'T WORK OUT.
I MEAN, SHE WAS 58
YEARS OLD, SHE HAD...
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪
♪
HEY, FREDDIE, HOW YA DOIN'?
HEY, YO, VINNIE, YOU GOT IT?
- WHAT?
- MY ENGLISH HOMEWORK.
EPSTEIN SAID YOU'D DO IT.
OH NO, FREDDIE, MAN, THAT
WENT SMACK OUT OF MY HEAD.
LAST NIGHT, LAST NIGHT, I
WAS SITTIN' DOWN READY
TO DO IT, RIGHT?
THE PHONE RINGS.
IT'S KIKI KORNBERG.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
SHE ASKED ME TO COME
OVER 'CAUSE SHE'S AFRAID
TO WATCH LAVERNE
AND SHIRLEY ALONE.
YEAH, WELL,
THANKS A LOT, VINNIE.
BECAUSE OF YOU, I'MMA
GET AN F IN ENGLISH.
FREDDIE, LOOK, IF IT
MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER
SO AM I.
WELL IT DON'T, LINGUINE BRAIN.
HEY, WHO YOU CALLIN'
LINGUINE BRAIN?
LOOK, FREDDIE, I MEAN YOU
GOTTA BE PRETTY STUPID
TO THINK SOMEBODY
LIKE ME COULD EVEN DO...
STUPID?
ALL RIGHT, HEY, HEY, HEY,
COME ON NOW, COME ON NOW.
WATCHIN' A FIGHT I AIN'T
IN MAKES ME NERVOUS.
I'M STUPID, YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW YOUR ABC'S.
OH SURE, I DON'T KNOW MY ABC'S.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU
GUYS FIGHTIN' ABOUT?
HOMEWORK.
YOU GUYS ARE FIGHTIN'
ABOUT HOMEWORK?
I THINK I'M IN THE WRONG SCHOOL.
LOOK, MR. KOTTER,
FREDDIE'S MAD AT VINNIE
'CAUSE VINNIE DIDN'T DO
FREDDIE'S ENGLISH HOMEWORK,
LIKE I TOLD HIM.
WAIT A SECOND, YOU'RE
MAD AT VINNIE BECAUSE VINNIE
DIDN'T DO HIS HOMEWORK?
NAH.
OH, THEN VINNIE DID
DO HIS HOMEWORK.
NO.
WELL THAT'S STUPID, I
MEAN WHY WOULD I THINK
THAT VINNIE'S GONNA
DO HIS HOMEWORK?
LOOK, MR. KOTTER, NOBODY
CARES WHETHER VINNIE
DOES HIS HOMEWORK.
VINNIE DIDN'T DO FREDDIE'S
ENGLISH HOMEWORK,
LIKE I TOLD HIM!
WAIT A MINUTE!
VINNIE DIDN'T DO FREDDIE'S
ENGLISH HOMEWORK
LIKE JUAN TOLD HIM.
DID JUAN DO ANYBODY'S HOMEWORK?
DID FREDDIE DO
ANYBODY'S HOMEWORK?
WHY WOULD ANYBODY
DO VINNIE'S HOMEWORK?
ALL RIGHT, GOOD MORNING.
NOW, I KNOW I'M GONNA
HATE MYSELF FOR SAYING THIS,
BUT WILL YOU ALL PLEASE TAKE OUT
YOUR SOCIAL STUDIES HOMEWORK.
NOW, YESTERDAY WE WERE
TALKIN' ABOUT THE RENAISSANCE
AND THEIR PRIZE POSSESSIONS.
AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE A NICE THING IF YOU ALL
WROTE ABOUT OR BROUGHT IN
YOUR OWN PRIZE POSSESSION.
MR. KOTTER, I WOULD LIKE
TO GO FIRST, ALL RIGHT?
NOW I KNOW I'M IN
THE WRONG SCHOOL.
ALL RIGHT, MY MOST
PRIZE POSSESSION IS THIS,
MY LITTLE BLACK BOOK.
NOW, ALL LITTLE RENAISSANCE
KIDS HAD THESE LITTLE BLACK BOOKS.
NOW YOU'RE PROBABLY
ASKIN' YOURSELVES,
WHY IS THERE A LETTER AFTER
EACH OF THESE GIRLS NAMES?
NO.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.
NOW, THIS IS THE VINNIE
BARBARINO RATING SYSTEM.
NOW, PG, PG MEANS PRETTY GOOD.
AND R, R MEANS REALLY GOOD.
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T ASK,
VINNIE, BUT WHAT DOES X MEAN?
DOLORES DELVECCHIO.
DOLORES DELVECCHIO.
OKAY, FREDDIE, YOU, NEXT.
MY MOST PRIZE POSSESSION,
I GOT IT FOR YOU, BABY.
HOMEWORK, HUH-HA.
RIGHT.
OH, MAY I PRESENT
MY PET FLEA, HOWARD.
OH.
WHERE'D YOU FIND HIM,
FREDDIE, IN EPSTEIN'S HAIR?
YOU KNOW, ARNOLD, YOU'RE
REALLY DEVELOPING QUITE A...
SOPHISTICATED SENSE OF HUMOR.
I WAS WONDERIN' HOW MUCH
LAUGHIN' YOU'RE GONNA DO
WITHOUT A TONGUE.
YOU KNOW, FREDDIE,
SOMEHOW I GET THE FEELING
THAT YOU DIDN'T
DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
ME, FORGET MY HOMEWORK?
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HOWARD DID YOU
HEAR... WHERE'S HOWARD?
NOW YOU MADE ME DROP HIM.
OH, HERE HE IS, FREDDIE.
COME HOME, HOWARD.
OH, LITTLE HOWARD.
OH, THANK YOU, MY MAN.
HEY, GIVE ME FIVE.
WILL YOU GUYS CUT THAT OUT?
YOU, DOWN!
YOU, DOWN!
YOU, UP!
OH.
THIS HERE'S MY DINGY.
VERY IMPRESSIVE, JUAN.
YUP, IT'S MADE OUT OF...
YOU KNOW, THE HORSHACKS
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
A SEAFARING MEN.
I USED ELMER'S...
IT WAS POPEYE HORSHACK
WHO DISCOVERED CONEY ISLAND.
TOOK ME 12 WEEKS...
OH, TO GO DOWN TO THE SEA...
HORSHACK, WILL YOU SIT DOWN?
OH, BOY!
I SAT ON YOUR DINGY.
HORSHACK, YOU SQUIRREL.
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?
LIKE THIS.
OH, JUAN, I'M SORRY.
OH, SORRY'S AN
EASY THING TO SAY.
OH, JUAN, I'M REALLY
SORRY, I SAID...
WAIT A MINUTE, JUAN, JUAN,
JUAN, JUAN, JUAN, JUAN,
JUST TAKE IT EASY, ALL
RIGHT, JUST TAKE IT...
I MEAN, I MEAN, THIS SHIP AIN'T
A TOTAL WRECK, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, YOU CAN STILL
USE ONE OF THESE THINGS
TO GET SOMETHING
OUT OF YOUR TEETH.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
JUAN, ARNOLD SAID HE...
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
HOMEWORK, FREDDIE, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HOMEWORK?
YOU DIDN'T EVEN
DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
NO, YOU JUST... YOU JUST
TRIED THAT HOWARD THE FLEA BIT.
COME ON, IT DIDN'T WORK
LAST SEMESTER IN ALGEBRA,
IT AIN'T GONNA WORK NOW.
EVEN KOTTER AIN'T THAT STUPID.
WELL, IT AIN'T LIKE BEIN'
RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMEBODY
GETTIN' A F IN ENGLISH.
OH, NOW FREDDIE'S RIGHT, VINNIE.
YOU SHOULD NOT
HAVE LET HIM DOWN.
YOU DIDN'T ' SEE ME FORGETTIN'
TO DO YOUR SOCIAL STUDIES
HOMEWORK LAST WEEK, OH NO...
HORSHACK, WILL YOU
JUST KEEP QUIET, WILL YA?
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL
HIM YOU DID MY HOMEWORK.
YOU'RE SO STUPID SOMETIMES!
WELL NOW I'M GLAD...
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
REMEMBER ME?
TEACHER, MR. KOTTER,
AUTHORITY FIGURE.
YOU PEOPLE HAVE
GIVEN ME A HEADACHE
WITH ALL THIS ARGUING.
I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE
AND TAKE THESE ASPIRINS
AND WHEN I COME BACK, WE'RE
GONNA CONTINUE WITH CLASS.
THERE'LL BE NO
TALKING WHILE I'M GONE.
NO TALKING.
HEY, HORSHACK, BIG
NEWS FLASH, YOU'RE SHORT.
HA!
YOU TOO, MUNCHKIN.
HA!
THE WHOLE ROOM IS SHORT.
HI, THERE.
I'M TALL.
HEY, FREDDIE, I HAD IT
ABOUT UP TO HERE WITH THE,
HI, THERE.
HI, THERE BIT.
YEAH, FREDDIE.
YOU KNOW, YOU
ARE NOT SO ELEGANT.
YOU ARE FROM BROOKLYN,
JUST LIKE THE REST OF US.
OH, YEAH, WELL LET ME
TELL YOU SOMETHIN' ELSE,
LITTLE MR. HORSHACK.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THAT
STUPID LAUGH OF YOURS.
YEAH, YEAH, YOU
SOUND LIKE A '57 PONTIAC
WITHOUT A MUFFLER.
AND WHAT ARE YOU
LAUGHING AT, EPSTEIN?
RUN OUT OF PHONY
NOTES FROM HOME?
DEAR MR. KOTTER, PLEASE EXCUSE
JUAN FOR BEING A SHEEP HEAD.
SIGNED, EPSTEIN'S
MOTHER'S VETERINARIAN.
JUAN!
YOU LIKE THAT
SLAPSTICK, HUH, VINNIE?
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHERE?
WHEN?
THAT'S SOME VOCABULARY, VINNIE.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE,
YOU'RE A WALKIN' QUESTION MARK.
DUH-DA, DUH-DA.
YOU MAKIN' FUN OF ME?
WHA?
LISTEN, I GOT
SOMETHIN' TO TELL YOU.
YOUR SISTER, JUAN, YOUR SISTER.
OH, YEAH?
FORGET MY SISTER, YOUR MOTHER!
NOT MY MOTHER,
THAT WOMAN'S A SAINT.
OH, YEAH?
THE LIGHT AROUND HER
HEAD DON'T FOOL ME.
YEAH, WELL, I GOTTA
MESSAGE FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT.
IN YOUR PANTS
WITH A BAG OF ANTS.
OH, YEAH, WELL IN YOUR
POCKETS WITH RED HOT ROCKETS.
OH, REALLY?
WELL IN ALL YOUR POCKETS
WITH RED HOT ROCKETS.
HEY, ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
WELL, ARE YOU TALKIN'...
YOU MUST BE TALKIN' TO ME.
ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN
YOU'RE NOT TALKIN' TO ME.
UP YOUR NOSES WITH RUBBER HOSES.
YOU TALKIN' TO US?
HEY, HE TALKIN' TO US?
HE MUST BE TALKIN' TO US.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S
A PERSONAL FOUL.
SWEATHOGS, 15 YARD PENALTY.
FIRST DOWN, KOTTER.
ALL RIGHT, I UNDERSTAND
THAT WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY,
THE LITTLEST THING
CAN TEE YOU OFF.
I ALSO UNDERSTAND HOW
YELLING LIKE SCHLEMIELS SATISFIES
THIS NEED YOU
HAVE TO LET IT OUT.
I ALSO AM A PERSON.
I HAVE A NEED TO LET
IT OUT, IN THE SCHOOL.
CLASS!
NO YELLING.
NO YELLING.
HEY, MR. KOTTER, YOU RIGHT.
THERE SHOULD BE NO MORE YELLING.
AND BESIDES, I AIN'T EVEN
TALKIN' TO THESE PUNKS.
YEAH, WELL I'LL DO
BETTER THAN THAT.
NONE OF YOU'S MY FRIEND NO MORE.
I SECOND THAT PUNK'S MOTION.
I THIRD THAT PUNK'S MOTION.
WITH A CHERRY ON THE TOP.
THAT'S TERRIFIC.
YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE A
DELINQUENT MOUNT RUSHMORE.
OH, COME ON, ARNOLD,
SHAKE HANDS WITH JUAN.
COME ON, YOU'RE FRIENDS,
THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH.
COME ON, WILL YOU
SHAKE... GUYS, COME ON!
FREDDIE, COME ON,
SHAKE HANDS WITH VINNIE.
START OVER, COME ON, THIS
IS GETTING OUT OF HAND HERE.
WILL YOU SHAKE HANDS?
VINNIE?
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S WHAT YOU WANT,
IT'S FINE WITH ME.
I'LL JUST SIT HERE FOR
THE REST OF THE PERIOD.
I'LL READ MY PAPER, OKAY?
WE'LL HAVE THIS TOTAL
PERIOD IN COMPLETE SILENCE.
OH, UH, KOTTER...
NOW, THAT'S TEACHING, KOTTER!
♪
HONEY, WOULD YOU EAT?
JULIE, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
KIDS WON'T TALK TO EACH OTHER,
AND I CAN'T TEACH THEM ANYTHING.
WELL, WHAT EVER
YOU DO, EAT FIRST.
I TRIED SOMETHING NEW
WITH THE TUNA CASSEROLE.
THE HARD THINGS
ARE COFFEE BEANS.
THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL,
JULIE, THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL.
MRS. ULCER NEVER COMES OVER.
SHE CAN HAVE MINE.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I
GET THE FEELING THAT YOU
WOULDN'T LIKE MY TUNA CASSEROLE
NO MATTER WHAT I PUT IN IT.
A LOT OF PEOPLE, JULIE,
ARE AFRAID TO GO DOWN
TO THE OCEAN BECAUSE
THEY'VE SEEN JAWS.
I AM AFRAID TO GO
DOWN TO THE OCEAN
BECAUSE I THINK I
WILL GET ATTACKED BY
A GIANT TUNA CASSEROLE.
YOU'RE A VERY, VERY FUNNY MAN.
GABE, GO, GABE, GO AWAY.
YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, GABE.
GABE, THIS ISN'T...
GABE, GO AWAY, AWAY!
FAR AWAY, GO!
LISTEN, SINCE WE'RE
UNBURDENING OURSELVES,
IT'S NO PETUNIA PATCH
LIVING WITH YOU, FELLA.
YOU THINK I LIKE SPENDING
MY ENTIRE LIFE LISTENING
TO YOUR STUPID JOKES?
JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY UNCLE ABDUL?
JULIE, DID I EVER TELL YOU
ABOUT MY AUNT SOPHIE?
YOU WANNA KNOW
WHY I TELL JOKES, JULIE?
'CAUSE I NEED TO DO
SOMETHIN' TO CHEER MYSELF UP
AFTER ONE OF YOUR MEALS.
MR. KOTTER, I GOTTA TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE FIGHT WE'S ALL HAVIN'.
NOT NOW, I'M RIGHT IN
THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT.
HI, MRS. KOTTER.
LISTEN THOUGH, IT'S IMPORTANT.
LIKE I'M THE LEADER OF
THE SWEATHOGS, RIGHT?
WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET
ANYBODY TO FOLLOW MY ORDERS
IF NOBODY'LL EVEN TALK TO ME?
VINNIE, WHEN YOU HAVE A
FIGHT OVER SOMETHING STUPID,
WHAT YOU HAVE TO
DO IS YOU HAVE TO TRY
AND REMEMBER WHAT THE
PEOPLE YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH
REALLY MEAN TO YOU.
AND YOU HAVE TO BE
A BIG ENOUGH PERSON
TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY.
I'M SORRY, JULIE.
ME TOO.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
APOLOGIZIN' FOR?
YOU AIN'T THE ONES WHO
DIDN'T DO FREDDIE'S HOMEWORK.
COME ON, VINNIE.
GET THAT CHAIR AND COME
HAVE SOME DESSERT WITH US.
COME ON, HONEY.
MR. KOTTER ALWAYS THINKS
BETTER WITH WHIPPED CREAM
ON HIS MUSTACHE.
COME ON, SIT DOWN, VINNIE.
THAT'S REAL NICE OF YOU.
I'LL GET SOME PLATES.
AH, LET'S SEE WHAT DO WE GOT?
OH, BOY, THESE ARE MY FAVORITES!
I'LL ENJOY THIS ANYWAY.
STRAWBERRY TARTS, YOU LIKE
STRAWBERRY TARTS, VINNIE?
THEY'RE ALL RIGHT.
LOOK, JULIE, YOU KNOW, WHEN
THE SWEATHOGS HAVE A PROBLEM,
YOU KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME...
YOU GOT CHOCOLATE PUDDING?
WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOCOLATE
PUDDING, DO WE, JULIE?
NO, WE DON'T HAVE ANY.
WE DON'T HAVE ANY
CHOCOLATE PUDDING.
THEY HAVE A PROBLEM, AND
THEY WON'T TALK TO EACH OTHER.
AND IF THEY WON'T
TALK TO EACH OTHER,
I CAN'T TEACH 'EM ANYTHING.
AND IF I CAN'T TEACH 'EM
ANYTHING, I JUST GET CRANKY.
I KNOW, HONEY, BUT...
HOW 'BOUT SPUMONI,
YOU GOT SPUMONI?
DO WE HAVE ANY ICE CREAM?
NO.
WE HAVE TARTS, VINNIE.
TARTS, THAT'S IT!
LOOK, I KNOW THAT, HONEY.
BUT WHEN YOU KEEP MAKING
JOKES ABOUT MY TUNA CAS...
HOW 'BUT DANISH?
YOU GOT LIKE CHERRY
DANISH, NICE CHERRY DANISH?
VINNIE, LOOK, YOU WANNA
HAVE DESSERT, HAVE A TART.
IF YOU DON'T WANNA HAVE A
TART, DON'T HAVE ANYTHING.
THAT'S ALL WE
HAVE, OKAY, IS TARTS.
OKAY.
JULIE, WHEN YOU SAY
THINGS ABOUT MY JOKES,
YOU KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL.
IT WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE CHERRY.
IT COULD BE LIKE YOU
KNOW, PRUNE OR CHEESE.
WE COULD SEND OUT.
WANNA KNOW WHAT THE
BIGGEST JOKE IN THIS HOUSE IS?
- WHAT?
- YOUR TUNA CASSEROLE.
IF YOU JUST WOULDN'T MAKE
TUNA CASSEROLE ANYMORE, I MEAN...
GABE, YOU WANNA
KNOW WHAT I THINK
ABOUT YOUR UNCLE ABDUL?
I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THAT, JULIE.
BELIEVE IT.
WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK
ABOUT YOUR FAMILY, JULIE?
I HAVE SOMETHING I'D LIKE YOU
TO SEND BACK TO NEBRASKA.
SPECIAL DELIVERY.
HOW 'BOUT ESPRESSO?
YOU GOT SOME NICE ESPRESSO?
MY MOTHER, MY MOTHER,
SHE ALWAYS GIVES ESPRESSO.
ONLY THE FINEST.
MR. WOODMAN, I HAVE A FAVOR
TO ASK OF YOU, A REQUEST.
I DON'T TAKE REQUEST, KOTTER.
WHAT DO I LOOK
LIKE, WOLFMAN JACK?
WHAT I AM IS WHAT YOU GET.
JUST A SECOND.
THIS IS A SCHOOL
ORIENTED REQUEST.
IS THIS ONE OF YOUR
HAIR-BRAINED SCHEMES, KOTTER?
WELL, YEAH, SORTA, LOOK.
WHAT I'D LIKE YOU TO
DO IS COME INTO MY CLASS
AND APOLOGIZE TO ME,
AND LET ME FORGIVE YOU.
IT'LL REALLY MEAN A LOT.
BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO
APOLOGIZE FOR, KOTTER.
MR. WOODMAN, IT'S
NOT WHO APOLOGIZES,
IT'S THE APOLOGY THAT'S
THE IMPORTANT THING.
SO YOU CAN COME IN
AND I'LL APOLOGIZE TO YOU,
AND YOU FORGIVE
ME, HOW'S THAT, OKAY?
OKAY, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.
OKAY.
COME RIGHT IN, OKAY?
OKAY.
HI, GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
- NOW, TODAY...
- NOW, KOTTER?
IT'S MR. WOODMAN,
WHAT A SURPRISE!
MR. WOODMAN, OH, COME
ON IN, MR. WOODMAN.
MR. WOODMAN, YOU KNOW
SOMETHING, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO APOLOGIZE TO
YOU FOR 10 YEARS NOW.
I'M THE GUY THAT PUT THE
CATNIP IN YOUR THERMOS.
YOU DID THAT, KOTTER?
YES I DID, AND I APOLOGIZE.
DO YOU FORGIVE ME?
I HAD TO BE RUSHED
TO AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I'M SORRY, MR. WOODMAN.
BUT REMEMBER, FORGIVING
IS AN IMPORTANT THING.
THAT WAS THREE HOURS
IN AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
I MEAN, I DIDN'T MIND THAT
VET RUBBING MY STOMACH,
BUT I GOT AWFUL TIRED OF PLAYIN'
WITH THAT STUPID, RUBBER MOUSE.
MR. WOODMAN, I APOLOGIZE.
NOW, YOU ACCEPT MY APOLOGY?
WHY SHOULD I ACCEPT
YOUR APOLOGY?
LISTEN TO YOURSELF.
YOU APOLOGIZE
TOO EASILY, KOTTER.
MR. WOODMAN!
WELL, WE WERE NEVER WHAT
YOU WOULD CALL CLOSE, ANYWAY.
MR. KOTTER, WOULD YOU
MIND KEEPING IT DOWN?
THERE'S PEOPLE TRYING
TO BE ANGRY HERE.
VINNIE, ARE YOU THE
LEADER OF THE SWEATHOGS?
YEAH, THEY AIN'T MY FRIENDS BUT
THEY STILL GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY.
OKAY, OKAY, NOW
LET ME SEE YOU LEAD.
WE GOT A PROBLEM HERE
AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE SOLVED
UNTIL THERE'S AN APOLOGY.
SO GO AHEAD, LEADER,
DO YOUR STUFF.
THAT'S RIGHT, THERE'S
GOTTA BE AN APOLOGY HERE.
HORSHACK, APOLOGIZE.
I WAS GONNA DO
IT ANYWAYS, VINNIE.
HEY, JUAN, I'M REALLY
AND TRULY SORRY
FOR SITTING ON YOUR DINGY.
OH, AND HERE, JUAN.
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
ENOUGH TOOTHPICKS TO
MAKE AND EVEN BIGGER DINGY.
SEE, I GOT THE ONES
WITH THE CELLOPHANE TOP,
THE LITTLE CURLY THINGS,
REAL PRETTY, CLASSY.
OH, JUAN, TO GET
THESE, I HAD TO CRASH
SO MANY BAR MITZVAHS.
WELL... THERE THEY ARE ANYWAYS.
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, YESTERDAY,
YESTERDAY I ASKED YOU PEOPLE
TO BRING IN YOUR MOST
PRIZE POSSESSIONS, RIGHT?
YOU GUYS HAVE A POSSESSION
THAT'S MORE VALUABLE
THAN BROKEN DINGIES
AND FORGOTTEN HOMEWORK.
YOU'VE GOT YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
YOU'RE REALLY CLOSE.
NOW, THAT'S SOMETHIN'
YOU SHOULD FIGHT TO KEEP,
NOT GIVE UP.
JUAN YOU DO WHATEVER YOU
WANT, BUT YOU'RE A SUCKER
IF YOU BLOW IT.
LOOK, MR. KOTTER, FOR A
GUY LIKE ME, IT AIN'T THAT EASY.
I CAN FORGIVE,
BUT I CAN'T FORGET.
BUT THAT DON'T MEAN
WE AIN'T PALS, ARNOLD.
OH, JUAN!
YOU LITTLE JUAN!
YOU LITTLE HORSHACK!
OKAY, NOW WHAT
ABOUT THE REST OF YOU?
I'M REALLY SORRY FOR NOT
DOIN' YOUR HOMEWORK, ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S OKAY, VINNIE.
I PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN
WORSE OFF IF YOU DID DO IT.
HEY, YOU KNOW, I KNOW
THIS IS AN OFF THE WALL IDEA
BUT YOU PEOPLE MIGHT CONSIDER
DOING YOUR OWN HOMEWORK.
OH, FREDDIE, I'M SO SORRY
FOR THE THINGS I SAID.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
VINNIE, OH, VINNIE.
OVER APOLOGIZING, FIVE
YARD PENALTY, SWEATHOGS.
FIRST AND 10, KOTTER.
♪
♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ YOUR DREAMS WERE
YOUR TICKET OUT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ TO THAT SAME OLD PLACE
THAT YOU LAUGHED ABOUT ♪
♪ WELL THE NAMES
HAVE ALL CHANGED
SINCE YOU HUNG AROUND ♪
♪ BUT THOSE DREAMS HAVE REMAINED
AND THEY'VE TURNED AROUND ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
THEY'D LEAD YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ BACK HERE WHERE WE NEED YA ♪
♪ YEAH, WE TEASE HIM A LOT
'CAUSE WE GOT HIM ON THE SPOT ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK ♪
♪ WELCOME BACK, WELCOME
BACK, WELCOME BACK ♪♪