WKRP in Cincinnati (1978–1982): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Baby - full transcript

AND IT'S EASY.

YOU'VE HEARD THE DJs.

ALL THEY DO IS TALK.

THEY TALK, YOU
CAN TALK, CAN'T YOU?

OF COURSE YOU CAN,
TALKING IS SIMPLE.

SO SEND TODAY FOR INFORMATION ON OUR
EARN AS YOU LEARN DISC JOCKEY COURSE.

STUDY IN THE PRIVACY
OF YOUR OWN HOME.

START A GREAT NEW CAREER

AND SOON YOU'LL GET THE
RESPECT YOU NEVER HAD BEFORE.

YOU'RE IN THE WHITE PAGES

THE MIKE WALLACE
SCHOOL OF BROADCASTING



NOT AFFILIATED WITH
THE GUY ON "60 MINUTES."

THIS IS VENUS, MY
CHILDREN, "HERE WE SIT

"AND LET THE SOUNDS OF
MUSIC CREEP IN OUR EARS.

"SOFT STILLNESS AND THE NIGHT

BECOME THE TOUCHES
OF SWEET HARMONY."

SO IF YOU LEARN
THAT AT HOME, CHUMP.

"TOUCHES OF SWEET
HARMONY" I LIKE THAT.

HOW'S IT GOIN' VENUS?

DON'T YOU EVER GO HOME, TRAVIS?

HEY IT'S SLOWING AT
THE TOP YOU KNOW.

SLOWING IN THE MIDDLE TOO.

HERE... YOUR TAPES
FOR THE 10:30 SPOT.

RIGHTO.

YOU PROBABLY WONDERED
ABOUT MY OUTFIT, HUH?



- NOT EXACTLY.
- IT ISN'T MUCH THICK.

SEE, I DON'T WEAR THIS
KIND OF STUFF TO LOOK GOOD.

I-I... ACTUALLY...

I-I-I RUN HOME FROM
WORK THREE TIMES A DAY.

- WELL...
- TO KEEP CHECK.

- GREAT.
- TO LOOK GOOD.

WELL THE COLOR'S
CERTAINLY RIGHT FOR YOU.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I RAN OUT FROM HERE, AND
STOPPED BY COPS SEVEN TIMES.

HI!

- HOW'S IT GOIN'?
- FINE.

GOOD.

I JUST KINDA KNOCKING AROUND.

WAITING TO MEET CARMEN DOWN
AT OUR NATURAL CHILDBIRTH CLASS.

- OH! YEAH!
- YEAH.

I HEARD YOU READING
POETRY ON THE AIR.

- YES SIR, I WAS.
- HUH! WHO WAS IT?

- SHAKESPEARE.
- HUH! HE'S GOOD.

- HE IS THE BEST.
- WELL, YEAH.

WAIT A MINUTE!

IF YOU HEARD THAT THEN YOU'VE
BEEN LISTENING TO THE STATION!

WELL, YEAH.

OH, THAT'S GREAT!
I MEAN THAT'S REAL

GOOD! CONGRATULATIONS.

WELL, I-I-I CAN'T DO IT, YOU
KNOW, FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME.

BUT I-I-I'M GETTIN' BETTER.

IN FACT I... I
LISTENED TO JOHNNY

THE OTHER MORNING
FOR A COUPLE MINUTES.

SEE I KNOW YOU COULD DO IT.

PRETTY SOON, YOU'LL
BE READY FOR LES.

OH, GOSH. I-I DON'T KNOW IF I
CAN SIT FOR A THING LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW I JUST
GET IT LIKE UH...

THAT... THAT'S
PHONE LIGHT, IS IT?

YEAH, WAIT, WAIT,
I-I WILL GET IT.

WKRP. WHO'S SPEAKING?

WHAT? SHE DID.

OH! OH, YEAH. WELL, YEAH, SURE.

AHA, YEAH, I'LL BE R-RIGHT AWAY.

T-T-T-THANKS FOR
CALLING. B-B-BYE.

VENUS, UH...

UH, COULD YOU GO WITH ME
DOWN TO HOSPITAL, PLEASE?

- IS IT TIME?
- WELL, YEAH.

IT-IT IS, IT...

UH, CARMEN ACTUALLY WENT TO
THE NATURAL CHILDBIRTH CLASS

LITTLE EARLY 'CAUSE SHE WAS
HA-HAVING THESE PAINS, UH,

AND SHE WENT INTO LABOR,

SHE PAID A DRIVE
HERSELF TO THE HOSPITAL

AND APPARENTLY MRS. ODETTE, THE NATURAL
CHILDBIRTH INSTRUCTOR GOT HYSTERICAL.

WELL, SHOULDN'T YOU BE GOING?

- YEAH, YOU-YOU TAKE ME.
- I-I CAN'T MR. CARLSON.

- NO, NO, YOU-YOU TAKE ME.
- I CAN'T. I'LL CALL YOU A CAB.

UH, NO. PLEASE YOU TAKE ME.

MR. CARLSON, I HATE
HOSPITALS. IT'S THE, THE SMELL...

AND BESIDES I GOT ANOTHER
30 MINUTES TO DO HERE.

I'LL SEE IF TRAVIS
IS STILL HERE.

I'LL CALL HIM ON THE INTERCOM.

- NO, YOU-YOU TAKE ME.
- TRAVIS!

YOU, UH... YOU-YOU TAKE ME.

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE
COME WITH ME TO THE HOSPITAL.

- YOU-YOU TAKE ME.
- OH LORD! MR. CARLSON,

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT BIRTH AND NO BABIES.

- WHAT?
- THANK GOD YOU'RE STILL HERE.

HEY...

MRS. CARLSON IS ABOUT
TO HAVE HER BABY.

HE WON'T LET ANYBODY TAKE
HIM TO THE HOSPITAL BUT ME.

YEAH. UH, ANDY, WOULD YOU
GO WITH ME TO THE HOSPITAL.

I MEAN, YOU-YOU TAKE ME, OKAY?

WELL, SURE THING, DAD!

- COME ON!
- YES.

OH HELL.

♪ BABY, IF YOU'VE
EVER WONDERED ♪

♪ WONDERED WHATEVER
BECAME OF ME ♪

♪ I'M LIVIN' ON THE
AIR IN CINCINNATI ♪

♪ CINCINNATI, WKRP ♪

♪ GOT KIND OF TIRED OF
PACKIN' AND UNPACKIN' ♪

♪ TOWN TO TOWN, UP
AND DOWN THE DIAL ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU AND ME
WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE ♪

♪ JUST MAYBE THINK
OF ME ONCE IN A WHILE ♪

♪ I'M AT WKRP IN CINCINNATI ♪♪

Woman on PA: DR. PETERS,
CALL YOUR POOLMAN.

DR. PETERS, CALL YOUR POOLMAN.

- HI.
- HI.

THIS IS ARTHUR CARLSON AND HIS
WIFE IS HERE SOMEWHERE HAVIN' A BABY.

PROBABLY RECENT CHECK-IN.

I'VE GOT MRS. ARTEMIS CARLSON.

- ARTHUR, IT'S ARTHUR CARLSON.
- ARTEMIS.

SHE'D BE IN ROOM 488 OF
THE JOHNNY BENCH WING.

HE HELPED TO RAISE THE MONEY.

OH! WHERE DO WE GO?

FOLLOW THE BLUE LINE ON THE FLOOR
UNTIL IT CROSSES THE GREEN ONE,

TAKE THE GREEN LINE UNTIL YOU
COME TO THE YELLOW THEN TURN LEFT.

- WHAT DO WE DO THEN?
- ASK SOMEONE... FOR ARTEMIS.

Woman on PA: DR. BURNS,
CALL YOUR CONTRACTOR.

DR. BURNS, CALL YOUR CONTRACTOR.

I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU RIGHT HERE.

I'LL BE BACK IN JUST
A MINUTE, HONEY.

ALRIGHT.

- CARMEN!
- OH, HELLO, ARTHUR.

I WENT UP TO YOUR
ROOM, YOU WEREN'T THERE.

- YOU ALRIGHT?
- I'M FINE.

- HI, ANDY.
- HI MRS. CARLSON.

GOOD, THEN WHY ARE
YOU IN A WHEELCHAIR?

- I DON'T KNOW!
- SHE'S ON THE WHEELCHAIR.

- YEAH, I SEE THAT.
- WHAT HAPPENED?

THIS AFTERNOON, I
STARTED HAVING PAINS

AND BY THE TIME I
GOT TO MY CLASS

I KNEW IT WAS TIME.

YEAH, I UNDERSTAND MRS.
ODETTE GOT HYSTERICAL.

SHE THREW UP.

OKAY... I CAN BRING
YOU IN HERE NOW.

UH, WAIT, W-W-WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?

- IN HERE.
- OH.

THIS IS MY HUSBAND.

OH, WELL, PROBABLY WANNA
COME IN HERE WITH US NOW.

WELL, O-OKAY.

OH, GOSH, OH.

I GO CALL EVERYBODY AND
TELL 'EM THE GOOD NEWS.

- AHA, OKAY.
- YOU GO ON IN.

- YEAH.
- GO ON.

- GO ON.
- YEAH.

BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO
COME DOWN HERE, THAT'S WHY.

KRP IS ABOUT TO
HAVE ANOTHER HEIR...

ANY MINUTE.

- HI.
- OH, BYE.

HI.

ARE YOU SICK?

OH, NO, I'M NOT.
JUST VISITING...

OH, I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE SICK.

YOU LOOK REALLY HEALTHY TO ME.

THANK YOU VERY
MUCH WELL, SO DO YOU.

- ARE YOU A NURSE?
- OH, NO, I'M JUST A VOLUNTEER.

I WANTED TO BE A
NURSE, BUT NOT ANYMORE.

THEY DON'T PAY NURSES ANYTHING.

AND MOST OF THE DOCTORS ARE REAL
RUDE TO THE NURSES AROUND HERE

BECAUSE THEY HAVE
A CHRIST COMPLEX...

THE DOCTORS, I MEAN.

SO THAT'S WHY I'VE DECIDED
TO GO OUT TO HOLLYWOOD

AND DO A PLAYBOY SPREAD.

BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE
MAKING EVERY PEOPLE HAPPY.

WELL, IT'S NOT SOMETHING...
IT-IT'S VERY NICE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO
SOMEWHERE AND TALK?

- SURE.
- COME ON.

HELLO!

WE'RE HERE TO SEE
MRS. ARTHUR CARLSON.

I DON'T CARE WHY YOU'RE HERE,

I JUST THINK, GOD, I'M ON DUTY.

WHERE IS MRS. CARLSON?

FOLLOW THE BLUE LINE UNTIL
IT CROSSES THE GREEN ONE,

TAKE THE GREEN LINE UNTIL YOU
COME TO THE YELLOW THEN TURN LEFT.

DON'T BE SILLY.

YOU'RE RIGHT. FOLLOW ME.

YO.

Woman on PA: DR. CARTER,
CALL YOUR TRAVEL AGENT.

- ARTHUR, I'M FINE.
- GOOD.

- ARE YOU FINE?
- YA, YES, YES.

GOOD.

- ARE YOU SURE?
- OH, YEAH, I'M SURE.

ARE YOU-YOU SURE?

- I'M SURE.
- THAT'S GOOD.

OH MY...

OH, ARTHUR, THAT'S
JUST MY BLOOD PRESSURE.

- A FORMER MARINE?
- THAT'S RIGHT.

OH! OH! MMM!

- BREATHE, BREATHE.
- UH...

IT'S A GOOD ONE. IT
WON'T BE TOO LONG NOW.

EXCUSE ME, BUT,
BUT SHOULDN'T YOU

GIVE HER SOMETHING FOR THE PAIN?

- ARTHUR, I'M FINE.
- WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

DEMEROL, MORPHINE, SPINAL BLOCK?

I WILL NOT HAVE
MY WIFE IN PAIN...

IT'S... NO PAIN!

- ARTHUR.
- YES.

- SIT DOWN.
- YES.

JUST, JUST HERE TO
COMFORT YOU SWEETHEART.

- THANK YOU, ARTHUR?
- GUM?

- UH, HI.
- WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I WAS CALLED HERE.

WHY?

ARTEMIS CARLSON?

NO, JOHN CARAVELLA, "THE FEVER."

FOLLOW THE BLUE LINE UNTIL
IT CROSSES THE GREEN ONE,

TAKE THE GREEN LINE UNTIL YOU
COME TO THE YELLOW THEN TURN LEFT.

RIGHT.

WHERE ARE THESE LINES?

ON THE FLOOR.

RIGHT.

UHH!

UHH, UHH! UGH, UGH!

UMUNH, UMUNH, UMUNH!

OOF, OOF.

ARTEMIS.

FOLLOW THE BLUE LINE
UNTIL IT CROSSES THE GREEN,

TAKE THE GREEN TO THE
YELLOW THEN TURN LEFT.

BLUE, GREEN, YELLOW, LEFT.

- RIGHT.
- RIGHT?

- LEFT.
- THANKS.

- HOLD IT.
- WHAT?

I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE
OF YOU AND THE RECEPTIONIST.

WHAT?

I WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE
OF YOU AND THE RECEPTIONIST.

I'M DOING AN ALBUM.

WEIRDO.

COME ON OUT HERE BUDDY.

- OKAY.
- STAND UP CLOSE AND SMILE.

WHERE'D YOU GET
A JACKET LIKE THAT?

I MEAN, DO THEY
SELL 'EM SOMEWHERE?

OF COURSE, THEY
SELL 'EM SOMEWHERE.

WHERE?

YEAH, I TELL YOU,

YOU TELL SOMEBODY
ELSE AND PRETTY SOON

THE WHOLE WORLD
IS DRESSING LIKE ME.

OH, ARTHUR,

ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T BE
MORE COMFORTABLE IN ANOTHER CITY?

AH, NO, SWEETHEART,
I'M FINE RIGHT HERE.

HELLO FOLKS, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

HOW'RE YOU DOIN', ARTHUR?

- I'M FINE DOC.
- HI BILL.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA
GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

YOU CAN ALWAYS
BACK OUT, YOU KNOW.

WHAT?

COME ON, ARTHUR, IT'S
ONE OF MY BEST JOKES.

ARTHUR IS A LITTLE UPTIGHT.

- OOH, OH...
- UM...

YOU KIDS WANTED
TO DO IT NATURAL,

PERSONALLY I
PREFER IT, YOU SEE, I...

I LIKE A BIG AUDIENCE.

MY WIFE IS IN A
LOT OF PAIN, BILL.

WOMAN IN LABOR IS
HAVING A LOT OF PAIN!

HMM!

IT'S NOT SO FUNNY!

COME ON, ARTHUR!

A VERY WONDERFUL THING IS GONNA
HAPPEN HERE AND YOU'RE GONNA SEE IT.

RIGHT, YEAH.

AND AT LEAST I HOPE
YOU'RE GONNA SEE IT.

ARTHUR IS GONNA BE
RIGHT THERE WITH ME.

- WE DECIDED.
- YEAH.

ALRIGHT, COME ON, ARTHUR,

LET'S GO PUT ON SILLY OUTFITS.

BYE, BYE, CARMEN.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

Woman on PA: DR. MORTON,
CALL YOUR PILOT.

DR. MORTON, CALL YOUR PILOT.

ARE YOU THE DOCTOR?

WELL, UH... SORT OF.

- NOT A REAL ONE, YOU KNOW.
- OH, GOOD, COME IN.

NOW THAT'S A CUTE LITTLE ONE.

EVEN COVER YOUR SHOES, HUH?

OH, YEAH, SURE DO.

YOU KNOW THIS IS
MY FOURTH DELIVERY

SINCE 5 O'CLOCK THIS MORNING.
WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.

W-W-WHAT IS THAT ALL
OVER YOUR SHOE COVER?

IT'S COFFEE STAINS.

NO IT'S NOT.

NO IT'S NOT, ARTHUR.

NOW LOOK, THIS IS A
VERY HUMAN THING HERE.

THERE IS NO STORK,
YOU KNOW, THAT'S BLOOD.

- BLOOD?
- HMM.

DON'T YOU THINK PEGGY
SUE IS A RIDICULOUS NAME?

IT WORKED FOR BUDDY HOLLY.

I MEAN SOMEBODY MY AGE.

WELL, I COULD TELL
YOU STORIES, PEGGY SUE.

I-I'VE BEEN CALLED
JOHNNY MIDNIGHT,

JOHNNY COOL, JOHNNY DUKE,

JOHNNY SUNSHINE, IT
JUST GOES ON AND ON.

I'VE BEEN JOHNNY EVERYBODY.

I'M READING A BOOK
ABOUT LIFE AFTER LIFE.

- OH!
- WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

WELL, I THINK THERE IS PROBABLY
SOMETHIN' AFTER THIS ONE.

WELL, THIS BOOK SAYS

THAT PEOPLE THAT ARE
DYING HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE.

THERE IS A TUNNEL AND
A VERY BRIGHT LIGHT.

- YEAH.
- I THINK THE LIGHT IS GOD.

WELL, IT COULD BE THE
GLOW JUST COMIN' OFF

ALL THE FOLKS WHO'VE
GONE ON AHEAD OF US.

YOU KNOW, THERE IS GOTTA BE A
GREAT PARTY GOIN' ON SOMEWHERE.

OH, RIDICULOUS!

YOU'RE RIDICULOUS, HERB.

THIS IS HISTORY.

WELL, HELLO!

All: HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- HI, HOW'S IT GOIN' BIG GUY?
- OH, HERB, GOSH

IT'S GOING GREAT... JUST GREAT.

EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE! YEAH.

I-I'VE BEEN WALKING, YEAH.

I WALKED ALL OVER THIS FLOOR.

AND IN-IN THE ONE
BENEATH THIS HERE.

AND-AND I'VE BEEN THINKIN'

AND YOU KNOW, I-I JUST ABOUT
DECIDED THAT I AM A VERY SILLY FELLOW.

YEAH.

VERY SILLY FELLOW.

EITHER THAT OR OLD-FASHIONED.

Y-YEAH, MAY...
THAT'S WHAT IT IS...

THAT'S WHAT AN OLD-FASHIONED.

YOU-YOU SEE IN THE OLD DAYS

THE MOTHERS DID
ALL THE WORK ANYWAY.

THE FATHERS CAME OUT HERE,

THEY SAT DOWN, THEY PACED,

THEY SMOKED THEIR CIGARS.

I WAS TOLD WHEN I WAS BORN

MY FATHER WAS ON
THAT WAITING ROOM

SITTING IN A WICKER CHAIR.

UH-OH.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA BE IN
THERE WITH MRS. CARLSON.

YEAH, WELL, I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT THAT AND...

THAT'S WHAT THE NATURAL
CHILDBIRTH CLASSES WERE ALL ABOUT.

OH, YEAH, BAILEY, BUT...

T-THE OTHER STUDENTS,
THEY WERE JUST KIDS.

WE ARE THE OLDEST
COUPLE THEY'VE EVER HAD!

NOW OUR JOB... I'M,
I'M OLD-FASHIONED AS...

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

SEE, IT'S, IT'S PART OF WHAT'S
CALLED CROSSING OVER A SEA.

THE WHOLE THING DOESN'T TAKE
PLACE ON A TRAIN OR ANYTHING.

IN A LOT OF CULTURES THEY TALK
ABOUT BARGES OVER THE BIG RIVER

AND YOU HAVE GUIDES, YOU KNOW,
TO SORT OF SHOW YOU THE WAY,

LIKE SACAJAWEA.

I THINK IT SOUNDS
LIKE IT'LL BE VERY NICE.

OH! NICE?

ARE YOU KIDDIN', PEGGY SUE?

WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT
THE TERMINAL BLOW OFF.

I MEAN THIS IS THE PERPETUAL
PARTY TO END ALL PARTIES.

BOY, JUST THINK ABOUT THE BAND!

THERE'LL BE JANIS,

JIMMY, ELVIS, OTIS,

CHARLIE PARKER, FATS WALLER,

BILLIE HOLIDAY,
ALBERT SCHWEITZER,

HE PLAYED A MEAN
PIPE ORGAN, YOU KNOW?

BACH, MOZART, PABLO CASALS,

ALL THE CATS'LL BE THERE.

EVERYBODY WERE GONNA
BE IN THIS JAM SESSION.

THEN THERE'LL BE
PICASSO AND DISNEY,

MAYBE DOIN' LITTLE CHARCOAL
SKETCHES OF EVERYBODY.

LLOYD BUCKLEY, HE'LL
BE THE MATER DEI,

MIXIN' EVERYTHING UP.

LBJ, CRANKIN' OUT RIBS
ON THE BARBEQUE PIT.

I WANNA TALK TO PLATO,

SEE IF HE'S COME UP WITH
ANYTHING NEW UPON REFLECTION?

I'LL CHAT WITH JIMMY HOFFA,

SEE WHERE HE'S BEEN?
WHAT HE'S BEEN DOIN'?

I'M-I'M OLD FASHIONED, THAT'S...

THAT'S WHAT IT IS, ABSOLUTELY.

- MR. CARLSON.
- UH.

COME HERE, COME ON.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE BEEN
TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR MONTHS,

ABOUT HOW YOU
WERE GONNA BE THERE

THE MOMENT YOUR CHILD
HIT THE ATMOSPHERE.

I BELIEVE THAT'S HOW YOU PUT IT.

YES, I... BA-BUT YOU KNOW...

NO, I ADVISE YOU FROM
TIME TO TIME DON'T I?

YES.

WELL, HAVE I EVER BEEN
KNOWN TO BE WRONG?

MMM, MMH... NO, I
DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE.

I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER THE FACT

THAT THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE

TO EVER SEE A CHILD
OF YOURS BEING BORN

AND TO BE RIGHT THERE
TO SHARE THE EXPERIENCE

WITH CARMEN WHEN IT HAPPENS.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO

WEIGH ALL THE PERTINENT FACTORS.

UH-HUH.

MM-HMM... AND THEN I WANT
YOU TO SCREW UP YOUR COURAGE

AND GET YOUR
LITTLE DERRIERE BACK

THERE IN THAT
DELIVERY ROOM, OKAY?

BUT, JENNIFER, I... I
KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

- YOU-YOU DO?
- MM-HMM.

OKAY, I'M READY.

OH, THERE YOU ARE!
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

- WHERE'S MY WIFE?
- UPSTAIRS.

UPSTAIR-UPSTAIRS, WHERE?

IN SURGERY.

YOUR WANT TO SEE ME DOC?

YEAH, ARTHUR, WE
HAVE A BREECH BIRTH.

THE BABY IS FANNY FIRST.

IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE
TO DO A CESAREAN SECTION,

BUT MAYBE NOT.

THIS IS CARMEN'S SECOND CHILD,

SHE'S STILL HAVING
GOOD CONTRACTIONS,

BUT SEE WHAT WE HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT IS THE CORD

DROPPING DOWN
BETWEEN THE BABY'S LEGS

AND THE OXYGEN GETTING CUT OFF.

YOU'RE LISTENING TO ME?

YES, YEAH.

SO I'VE CALLED AN
ANESTHESIOLOGIST

AND I'VE GOT THE OPERATING ROOM

AND EVERYTHING IS
GONNA BE JUST FINE, OKAY?

OKAY, YEAH.

BUT YOU GONNA HAVE
TO HANG IN THERE, OKAY?

I'M AN OLD HAND AT THIS.

AS I WATCH A GIRL AND
I LOVE MY PEGGY SUE...

IF YOU KNEW... PEGGY SUE

THEN YOU'D KNOW WHY I
FEEL BLUE FOR PEGGY...

- MY... HI.
- HI.

- HOW'S IT GOIN' TRAP?
- I'M LOST.

SO AM I, BUT I DON'T CARE.

MAYBE IT'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT,

MANY DO THE CESAREAN
THINGS EVERY DAY.

TH-TH-THERE IS NO
STORK YOU KNOW.

THERE'S REALLY NOTHING TO IT.

EXCEPT I CAN'T GET IN
THERE TO BE WITH HER,

AND THAT SORT OF CHANGES MY
WHOLE PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS,

BUT-NAH, THERE'S
NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT,

EXCEPT CARMEN'S IN HER 40S.

THIS THING'S BEEN PRETTY MUCH
OF A CHANCE ALL ALONG ANYHOW.

SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW
CLEARLY I THINK ABOUT THINGS.

WHAT THE... HERE I AM,
A FULL-GROWN MAN AND

I GOT MODEL AIRPLANES
IN MY OFFICE DRAWER.

- MR. CARLSON.
- WHAT?

YOU WANT TO HOLD HANDS?

YEAH, WE CAN JUST
SIT HERE AND WAIT.

- MR. CARLSON.
- YES.

DR. LEVIN WOULD LIKE
TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW.

- HE WOULD?
- MM-HMM.

Woman on PA: DR. DUANE,
CALL YOUR CHIROPRACTOR.

WHERE HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?

I'VE BEEN LOST.

I AIN'T GONNA TELL
YOU WHERE HE'S BEEN.

WELL, ARTHUR, IT LOOKS LIKE

WE HAVE A NATURAL
CHILDBIRTH ON OUR HANDS.

OH, GOOD.

OH, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

I CALLED IN THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST

THEN I HAD TO SEND HIM AWAY,

MAKES ME LOOK VERY BAD, ARTHUR.

- HI HONEY.
- AH, I'M GLAD YOU ARE HERE.

WHERE ELSE WOULD I
BE AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

ALRIGHT, NOW I WANT YOU TO
GIVE A BIG PUSH WITH THE MUSCLES.

COME ON!

THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S GOOD, VERY GOOD,
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD,

PARTICULARLY YOU, ARTHUR.

- THANK YOU.
- OKAY.

NOW, JUST ONE MORE TIME PLEASE

AND THIS TIME JUST CARMEN, HUH?

- RIGHT.
- ALRIGHT.

JUST PUSH, COME ON!

EVERYTHING IS COMING FINE.

EVERYTHING IS LOOKING FINE.

COME ON! COME ON, CARMEN! PUSH!

COME ON! COME ON, HONEY!

COME ON, CARMEN! COME
ON! COME ON, CARMEN!

BINGO!

WKRP IN CINCINNATI

WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS.

WHERE YOU'VE BEEN ANDY?

WELL, I'VE BEEN RIGHT HERE
MR. CARLSON THE WHOLE TIME.

YOU KNEW THIS THING WAS
GONNA TURN OUT ALRIGHT

FROM THE BEGINNING, DIDN'T YOU?

YES, SIR. YES, I GUESS I DID.

OH, UH, CONGRATULATIONS.

- THANK YOU.
- CIGARS?

YOU SON OF A GUN.

- HEY.
- HI.

THEY JUST BROUGHT
HER IN... RIGHT HERE.

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

YOU KNOW, MR. CARLSON,
SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU.

Johnny: MY GOD, I
SEE THEY ALL DO.

THEY DO, DON'T THEY?

EXCEPT THAT ONE!

HEY YA PAL!

MY-MINE IS CRYING THE LOUDEST.

HOO-HOO.