Victor & Valentino (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 12 - The Collector - full transcript

When Vic accidentally loses one of Val's prized coins Val makes a deal with a mysterious antiques collector to replace it, but the deal has terrible consequences.


- -Whoa!
- -Whoa!

Oh, no! Oh, sorry,

Dr. Toothbrush.

Let's give Miss Tweezers

some space.

Perfect! All right, coins,

it's moving day!

- I'm reorganizing
- based on value.

Don't take this personally.

So, moving to the penthouse,

my most valuable coin...

The 1875 golden peso!

Oh, niños!

Can somebody help me

find my glasses?

Vic, can you get that?

I'm working!

If nobody is home,

I could look myself.

- I just hope they are not
- on the floor

Where I could

step on them.

Oh, no.

Grandma, I'm coming!

- And I'll be right back,
- good sir!

Hoo! Ha! Heh! Oh! Oh,
no! Our time ran out!

- Do you have another quarter,
- Miguelito?

That was my last one.

I think I got one at home.

Don't worry!

- Quarters, quarters,
- quarters, quarters!

I'm out of money.

But Val isn't.

You're the best, Val!

Thank you, Valentino.

My head is the last place

I'd check, too!

Now, back to my coin...



Blue thread...

I can't believe it.

If my investigation is correct,

the robber is none other than...

Victor Guadalupe Marina Laguna

Calaca Calavera...

The new foosball champion

of Monte Macabre!

Vic, there was a coin.

- Fine, we can share
- the victory.

With my wonderful talents

and your dirty quarter,

we've made it to the top.

B-but my collection!

The hole, moving day...

The coin community!

It's just a coin.

No big deal.

I got you a clean one tha...

No big deal?!

Victor, look at this hole!

This isn't a big deal to you?!

V-Val, you're scaring me.

I can see the veins

in your forehead.

Ugh! I'd wish

you'd just disappear!

That was my most valuable coin,

Victor! I have to get it back!

Oh, that makes sense.

- Ha, cents...
- Get it, Val?


All I have to do is tell

Don Jalapeño what happened,

- and he'll give me
- the coin back.

Don's an understanding man.

No refunds!

I can see the veins

in... in your forehead.


what are you doing?

Me? Oh, well,

some really weird guy...

...paid me $10 to advertise

his new store.

I'd do it

for free, though,

as long as I get

to sniff the cards.


I'm pretty sure the...

Ugh. Hmm.

Chip's Rarities.



I've never seen so much

great stuff in one place!

I think I'm in paradise!

Like a little slice

of heaven, right?


Welcome to Chip's Rarities,

your one stop shop

for knickknacks,


and curious curios.

- I'm Chip.
- How may I be of service today?

Oh, hi! I'm just, uh,

looking for something.

May I say, you have an

astounding collection here,

like these dolls!

They're so life-like!

Aren't they?

So I just gotta know,

- How'd you manage
- to get so much stuff?

Oh, let's just say I know

how to pull the right strings.

- So, what are we - looking for?

Oh, it's, uh...

It's my coin collection.

- My stupid brother - ruined it.

Oh, put it away!

Seeing a collection tarnished

hurts my very soul.

Finally, someone gets it.

- So, as a fellow collector,
- you must understand

How much I need...

A golden peso, circa 1875?

Y-yeah, exactly.

How did you know?

Trust me... I have an eye

for these things, boy.

They don't call me the Collector

for nothing!

Just a moment.

That's it! But I don't

think I'll be able to afford it,

especially when

it's so perfect.

Oh, pish-posh!

For you, a fellow collector,

I think we can...

strike a deal?

What kind of deal?

Oh, nothing too complicated,

I assure you.

I give you something of mine,

and I take something of yours...

Something from your room,

something of my choosing.

Simple as that!

Now, do we have a deal?


Well, that coin was the most

valuable thing in my room.

I see no downside here.

- Sure!
- I see no downside here!


Here, take the coin

and be on your way.

I'll stop by later

to collect my payment.


Bye, now! Bye-bye!

- Pleasure doing business
- with you!

Hah! There's nothing like

a complete collection.

Huh? "Pleasure doing business.

Signed, Chip."

Odd. What did he take?

Everything seems to be here.

I still have my Perez brand


my whole collection of books

- with a strong
- female protagonist,

- And even
- my hypoallergenic pillow.

Vic, did you see

what Chip took?

- Vic!
- Victor!

Tranquilo, mi niño.

Victor isn't here.

Oh, sorry, Grandma.

Your brother left

with his new friend.

New friend?

Yeah, his friend Chet

or Chaz or Chester or...

something like that?


Chip ended up taking Vic?


I can finally collect things

in peace.

But Grandma would be so sad

if Vic didn't come back.

You can replace a coin,
but you can't replace a brother.

I gotta get him back!

- Chip, - you can't have him!

Go away.

We're closed.


You tricked me.

Give him back.

Oh, I'm sorry,

little boy,

but I'm afraid

a deal is a deal.

No takesies-backsies!


Vic, where are you?


There you are!

Come on, let's get out of here.
This place is giving me the creeps.


Chip, this isn't funny!

- Where's Victor?
- I know you have him!

Oh, golly, you don't even

recognize your own brother?

Victor, be a doll and say

something nice to your brother

so he knows

it's really you.

Run, Valentino!


- Aah! Come on, come on, come on,
- come on, come on,

- come on, come on, - come on!

I'm gonna get you, Valentino!

- Come on, come on, come on,
- come on, come on, come on!

You know what's just

so gosh-darn funny, Valentino?

- What makes life - worth living

Isn't the things

you have...

it's the friends you make

along the way.

So I started collecting them,


You and Victor are going to be

my newest friends, Valentino!

I think a pair like you will

make an excellent addition

to my collection!

- Don't worry, Victor,
- I-I'll find a way out of this!



Join us, Valentino!

Be our friend!

Be our friend!


where are you hiding?




I see you!

Let me go! Let me go!

Hold still, boy.

Now, this wont hurt a bit!

Oh, yeah?

Well, this will!

Oh, isn't that cute?

You think you can win?

Well, I've got news for you,


You've already lost.

You broke my figurine!


Seeing a collection tarnished

hurts my very soul.

That's it!


I'm gonna

break your stuff!

Terrible one-liner, Val.

Come on!


Sorry, guys.

You're all very pretty.

Sorry, Fresh Pup.

Broccoli does rule!

Sorry, ma'am, but I really

love my brother!


Stop it, you miserable urchin!

Okay, Val, you can do this.

It's for Victor...

whom you definitely love enough

to destroy this coin

with... with... a collection

of vintage blenders.



- No, no, no, - no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no!

How could you?!

Oh, what happened?

Oh, my gosh.

- Thanks for freeing us, - kid!

- Happy to help!
- Come on, Vic!

Let's get out of here!

What happened?

I'll tell you at home.

So you traded me,

your perfect brother,

for a dirty old coin?

- Sounds like
- you got ripped off.

Yeah, sorry about that.

And sorry for yelling

at you earlier. It
wasn't really your fault.

It's okay, man.

You know, I shouldn't have

borrowed your stuff anyway.

Is that hole in your collection

gonna bug you?

It would, but I think I have

just the thing for it.

As valuable

as any old 1870's peso.

- Hey, that's the one
- I gave you, isn't it?


Actually, I'm gonna need

that quarter back.