Upload (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Grey Market - full transcript

There's my little guy.
How you doing?

- You eating enough?
- BRYCE: Mom, I think I fucked up my bowtie.

In a minute, dear.
I am talking to your brother.

Why are you so dressed up?

- Don't tell him.
- Semiformal.

I'm going with Mikaela,
my girlfriend.

- You have a girlfriend?
- Mm-hmm.

She's really nice,
and she's got a little sister

that was the age you were...

(EXHALES)

that you were when...



- (CRYING)
- Mom, it's been six years.

- My 19th birthday's in three months.
- I know,

- I just, I just...
- Talk to him later?

She's gonna be here any minute.

- Okay.
- Jesus.

MOM: I got to go, sweetie.

But I'm gonna
call you right b...

(SIGHS)

ERNIE: You know, Ingrid, normally,
couples therapy works best

when there's just one therapist.

It's only divorce attorneys
that you both need your own.

I-I want to be open-minded,

but I just don't feel
comfortable opening up

to a CGI dog with only a
master's degree in social work.



(ERNIE GROWLS SOFTLY)
THERAPIST: Yes, we looked you up,

Ernie Lampsterman.

(STAMMERS)

Wow. Hope you guys are happy.

Ingrid, would you like to share

what's upsetting you
about Nathan?

He's just so...

You are constantly pulling away.

I'm trying to make this work,
but you are so distant.

Look, I'm not trying to be.

Okay? But sometimes,
it feels like

I don't have
my own life anymore.

You know? I'm-I'm just
this plaything for Ingrid,

there when she wants me.

- That's not true.
- You control

all my purchases,
what I do, what I eat.

(GASPS)
Ooh. The skinny jeans came in.

See? She's literally
dressing me like a doll.

I'm sorry, okay?

I thought the skinny jeans
would look good on you.

So I'll just return them.

Personally,
I love the skinny jeans.

Thank you so much.

I can feel my pulse
in my thighs.

♪ ♪

(CLACKING OVER VIDEO)

It's hard for me to let you win
if you won't take your turn.

Whatever. I don't care.

- Okay. What's going on?
- My parents won't update my avatar.

It's like I'm repeating
sixth grade over and over again.

I was born 18 years ago,
and I don't have ball hair.

Aww.

I mean, they want to keep you
the way they remember you.

Then there's this.

My little brother

going with a girl
to some semiformal

dumb-shit dance.

This is his second girlfriend.

He's lapping me.

Hey, it's not a race.

Most men don't get that.

DYLAN: Hey, girl.

You looking damn fine.

WOMAN: Excuse me?

Did somebody lose their child?

(MOUTHS)

See what I mean?

If I had the body
that went with my age,

- I would wreck that ass!
- NORA: Okay, okay,

you need to calm down.

I get that you're frustrated,

but you can't come on
that strong.

If I came on
as strong as I feel,

I'd pound a hole
in the fabric of Lakeview.

Sometimes I'm glad I'm sitting
safely behind this screen.

Nathan was dying, okay?
His vitals,

they were fading, and-and
my grandma lives in Lakeview.

Right? So, uh, so all of the
pieces just sort of fit together

in this really nice way.

See? Without Ingrid,
you wouldn't even be here today.

Yeah, well, Fran said my vitals
were starting to go back up

right before I uploaded.

That's not true, is it?

With deep respect,
Fran is a moron.

Just tell me if it's true.

I don't know.

You don't know?

I'm... Maybe. I mean, I don't...

I don't know.
I-I... I-It could be true.

I-I noticed something
was going up,

but-but I didn't really know
what it meant.

What the fuck, Ingrid? I'm dead.

(STAMMERS)
I didn't want to lose you.

- (STAMMERS)
- No.

You didn't care if I died, you
just didn't want to be alone.

God... Pants!

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Okay, well,

I have you
for another 20 minutes.

Sorry.

Yep.

(SIGHS): Oh, fuck.

That's mine. Pay up, son.

Take it.

Hey! Hey, there.

Uh, do you want to join in
on this action?

Guess what? I'm not even
supposed to be here.

She's with someone, thank you.

Can it. My vitals
were going back up.

- Ingrid saw and...
- I said she's with someone, asswipe.

Take a hint.

NORA: Whoa.

Settle. Geez.

I think Nathan just heard
some disturbing news.

- Yeah, you think?
- Nobody feels like they should be here.

Do you think I wanted
to fall into the Grand Canyon?

(CHUCKLES)
Wait, that's how you died?

They should expect people to try
and break the glass floor.

They should design for it.

I saw that video.
You dabbed on the way down.

Well, yeah.
That's how you get the likes.

See? You two cool guys
can be friends.

NATHAN: Aww, thanks,
Mom. Hey, kid, you want to hit

hit the Search Bar? I want to
put something on Ingrid's tab.

Bourbon, neat.

Root beer, cold.

Let's go.

LUKE: Swipe right.

Beautiful teeth.

Oh, Sascha. Hello, there.

(COMPUTER CHIMES)

No. God, no.

Are you on Nitely?

- (EXHALES)
- Nitely is only

for living people
to hook up with one another.

No living woman wants to hook up
with your dead, catfishing ass.

Okay, okay.

Geez.

I was just browsing,
for old time's sake.

A guy can look.

I'm watching you, dead boy.

(INHALES)

Yep.

Yeehaw! Let's go, let's go!

- Oh, you're cheating.
- Faster, faster.

What is happening?

- (WHOOPS)
- (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) That was dope.

- Again.
- (WHOOPS) Let's go.

Voice mail for customer service
employee 11-55-C.

- (WHIRS)
- (COUGHING) Hey, honey.

It's Dad. I'm at Cuomo Memorial.

(COUGHING)

Damn lungs again.
Thought I'd let you know.

- My gosh. Dad.
- You should go to him, right?

Uh, I'm supposed to be
taking care of Dylan, uh...

No, no. Don't worry about him.
I got this, okay?

- Go to your dad.
- DYLAN: Yeah. Do what you got to do.

- We cool.
- Okay. Thanks.

T-This is, this is
such a big help.

Uh, take some Lakeview Bucks
just in case.

(CHIMING SOUNDS)

Oh, ho, oh...

Buddy, buddy,
I matched us with two nines.

- What are you talking about?
- I made us fake Nitely accounts,

and we got these swipe-rights
in no time.

Hot, spicy.
I'll take the tall one.

Dude, you're, like, four.
I'm showing my wingman.

I-I can't.
I'm on babysitting duty.

I'm helping my angel
with a personal emergency.

And also, Ingrid.

We're supposed to meet them
on the hotel floors.

That's where the living meet
to party in VR.

Uploads aren't allowed
on hotel floors.

Thanks, Sheriff Short.

That's why we're going
to the Grey Market first,

to pick up a hack
to force our way down.

Grey Market? Hell yeah.

- Take me.
- (SCOFFS) Yeah, right.

- Wait, what's the Grey Market?
- Oh, a hacker like you would love it.

You can get anything there.
No rules.

Oh, that is intriguing,
but I can't. I made a promise.

Come on, Nathan.
Don't be a loser.

Please! Come on. Please.

- Nathan, look at me. I need this, man. I need it.
- Come on.

- Please. I need it.
- DYLAN: Please, Nathan.

- Come on. Please, man. Please.
- Come on.

- Please, please, please!
- Please, Nathan, come on.

- DYLAN: Please, Nathan! Please!
- Please, Nathan, please?

- Please, Nathan, oh, my God...
- For God's sake!

Nathan, just take them.

Okay, fine, a quick trip.

- Yes! Yeah!
- Yes! (WHOOPS)

(BOTH BABBLING)

NATHAN:
So where exactly are we going?

- Off the map. I guess you'd call it the dark web.
- Uh-huh.

Yeah, there's
this super secret place

you can pass through the hedge.

Can you spot it?

(GROANS)

Gentlemen, can I help you?

This area's off-limits.

No, no... sir? Sir.
Little sir, no, seriously.

Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown.

No, no, seriously,
it's dangerous.

Mr. Brown?

Whoa.

Horizen will not be held liable
for any avatar corruption!

We're not playing!

(STAMMERS)
I-I could get through this hedge

any time I want.

And I just don't want to today.

(BEEPS)

Okay. Nothing to be
scared of here, guys.

Hmm? What's that, Dylan?

You think we should hold hands
so nobody gets lost?

(CHUCKLES) Fine.

I didn't say anything, wuss.

What's with the numbers?

You have, like,
a lot of questions.

It's for our locator pings.

Lakeview keeps track
of all uploads

by pinging us every hour.

If we're off the map, we don't
ping back, the system assumes

- we've been erased.
- Then what?

I heard your avatar disappears
and your consciousness wanders

the Grey Zone
for all of eternity.

So let's hurry up
and get there, huh?

- (BUZZING PASSES BY)
- (SIGHS)

If I'm an invisible
consciousness,

I'm gonna go up people's noses
and out their butts like a fart.

I like the way you think.

There.

That's it?

(LAUGHS)

(WHOOPS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

LUKE: Oh, man.

This is sick.

Just see! 'Sup, kid?

NATHAN: Uh-oh.

VENDOR: Bad smells for sale!

- Fuck off.
- Bad smells for sale!

- Hey, boys.
- We got sweat, dirty pennies

and a hot chick's
morning breath.

All fresh.

Sure you're 18?

18 and three quarters, dickbag.

- (GRUNTING)
- (GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

LUKE: Here we go.

Two Lakeview elevator hacks.

Ooh! Trying to party
with some living ladies, huh?

(GIGGLES)

I'll throw in
some antivirus to be safe.

Can you make it quick?
We're on a time crunch.

Can I go look around?

This is the most action
I've ever gotten.

I mean, we do have 40 minutes.

Just stay close, okay?

We're always watching you.

VENDOR 2: Celebrity memories!

I got real celebrity memories
here, people!

Pulled moments after upload.

Drake pooping.

The sad end
of Sir Justin Bieber.

Huh? Hey, hey.

I got Penélope Cruz
in the shower.

Huh?

This is stupid.

You're stupid.
Those pants are dumb.

What do you keep in there,
Teddy Grahams? (CHUCKLES)

Fuck off, you fat nerd.

Bite me, Tiny Tim.

- Oh, easy, easy, easy. Okay.
- Come on! -(LAUGHING)

Come on. Come on.

How would you like to hack

into a living person's
wrist phone camera?

Ten seconds for 100 coins.

Interesting.

Are you kidding me?

I've seen 100 different
sex bot shops,

- and this is where you want to go?
- Okay.

How 'bout Jamie Arpaz,

my old business partner?

2-1-3-5, ampersand sign,

7-5-3-2-8-1-9-2.

MAN:
So, you see, the best part is,

the design costs nothing

because the uploads
build their own homes.

- WOMAN: How?
- As Josh said,

my software is unique

and proprietary.

Huh.

What is he up to?

We got 12 minutes left.
Let's roll.

Where's the kid?

Oh, shit.

He was right here. Dylan?

Dylan?!

(CHUCKLES): Man, I can't believe
your angel trusted you.

(CHUCKLES)

- Dylan! Dylan!
- Dylan! Dylan!

(MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY)

(INDISTINCT P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT)

AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE:
Hello, visitor.

The patient is suffering
from chronic vape lung.

Noncontagious.

Mr. Antony,

we simply can't keep meeting
like this.

(CHUCKLES) Well, I don't think
we will be much longer.

- (COUGHS)
- Dad, come on.

I don't want to run up a-a stack
of bills like when Mom died.

Y-You had to skip college.

Can you imagine me as a lawyer?

(CHUCKLES): Yeah.
It was your dream.

You went as Gloria Allred
three Halloweens in a row.

(CHUCKLES)

I just want you to be happy.

It's been nothing but sickness
and crap for too long.

We're still here.

Together. Right now.

That makes me happy.

(COUGHING)

Oh, I hate to leave you alone.

Well, you wouldn't
if you uploaded.

Oh. Oh,
I've seen the commercial.

I go on dates.

I mean,
there's a guy I might like.

- Ooh.
- Okay.

There's nothing yet.
We're just friends.

It's kind of long-distance.

How long-distance?

Long.

What's he do?

He's in computers.

Is he there for you?

I mean, can you really count
on the guy?

Yeah.

I think I can.

- Dylan!
- Dylan!

Dylan!

- Fuck!
- Dylan!

Dylan?!

How could you have brought
a child here?

What is wrong with you?

Dylan!

Dylan?! Dylan?!

- DYLAN: Yeah, man! (LAUGHS)
- Dylan?!

There. There, there, there.
There.

(GROANS) You didn't tell me
this would hurt.

You want hair
where you were telling me,

you better hold still.

- Hey, Dylan, we got to go. Now.
- In a minute.

No, now. You'll just have
half a tattoo.

It's not a tattoo.

- It's a puberty power-up.
- A what?

What the hell does that mean?

Just some code
to age up his avatar.

I got it off
a top-notch Russian hacker.

Next time he falls asleep,

he'll wake up with adult parts.
And... done.

(GROANS) - Great. Okay,
we are one ping away from annihilation.

- Come on.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh.

600 Facebook Libras.

Fuck.

Stupid pants.

- Great. Okay.
- DYLAN: Hey, see

if those Nitely girls
have a friend for me!

- NATHAN: Like a babysitter?
- DYLAN: You motherfucker!

Cafeteria's that way.

Oh, actually,
I had a question about scanners.

Do these machines ever damage
memories by accident?

Never.

They're, uh...

glorious, really.

You can watch the life
of a squirrel beat for beat

if you put one in this machine.

Not that I ever have.

Uh, what if I happen
to know, uh,

an upload with damaged memories?

Then it wouldn't be
the machine's fault.

It's always whoever designed
the avatar.

Those low-wage clowns,
they mess up all the time.

Well, actually,
I made the avatar.

Oh.

Are there
any other possibilities?

Somebody somewhere
is probably...

(CHUCKLES):
Up to some kind of fuckery.

Well, is there anything
I can do to fix the memories?

I used .Mem Restore,
and I got a couple watchable.

- .Mem Restore.
- Mm-hmm.

Why not just throw your money
directly down the toilet?

The only consumer app that
isn't shit is Memboost Turbo.

I have a download card
you can use.

It'll work on any device.

Oh, thanks.

Are you sure?

Of course. This is the longest
conversation I've had in years.

- LUKE: Go!
- (PANTING)

DYLAN: Guys!

(PANTING)

(GRUNTING)

Go, go, go, go.

(PANTING)

Oh. Oh, okay. Nap time.

I'll drop him off at his room.

Don't be long.

Here's your hotel level pass

for 4006.

Meet you at the bar.

And don't change out
of the skinny jeans.

You look amazing.

Stop.

You think so?

Yeah, you're all tuckered out,
huh, buddy?

You had a big day.

- (SNORING)
- Ew, ew. Drool.

Drool, drool. Gross. (GROANS)

Yuck.

(SIGHS)

Okay.

And, uh...

I don't know.
People do this, right?

Here you go.

(GROANS SOFTLY)

This is great. Perfect.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (MUZAK PLAYING)
- (WHISTLES SOFTLY)

4006.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Uploads are not allowed
on the hotel fl...

- (BEEPS)
- (GRUNTING)

And away we go!

(RATTLING)

(SHOUTING, WHOOPING)

- (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

DJ: ♪ Can I get an "H" ♪

♪ For Horizen? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I say, "A," you say, "I" ♪

♪ Artificial DJ say,
"Here we go" ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go,
let's go! ♪

(CHUCKLES): Yes!

Hey. All right.

- Uh-huh. Hi. Mwah.
- Hi.

And, uh... and you

are for my friend.

Do you want a drink?

(SOFT RINGING)

(TRILLING)

♪ ♪

My buddy will be here
any minute.

You want to dance?

I don't want
to leave Chloe alone.

Of course. Cool.

Yeah.

Hey, so tell me more

about your coworker
who uses your mug.

That shit is bananas.

- Yeah. Karen.
- God.

- She's a bitch. She's...
- Karen, learn to read.

- Your name's on it.
- The worst.

Yeah. (SIGHS)

Shh.

(CHUCKLES)

- (NATHAN WHISTLES)
- I'll be right back.

(SIGHS) You didn't tell me

your dad was this rich.

I'd have proposed by now.

INGRID: And powerful.

President Reagan
gave this to my dad

when he was in college.

It's his favorite thing
in the world.

That's including me.

(NATHAN CHUCKLES)

This bottle's old enough
to be my grandfather.

Mm-hmm. He was saving it
for a special occasion.

(CHUCKLES)

(KISSING)

♪ ♪

Hey, um, Batia?

Do you ever go on my computer?

That is serious accusation.

I will take lie detector.

Oh, you-you don't have to.
I-I was just wondering

'cause I-I seem to have lost
some files in this one folder.

I will take lie detector.

No one can control their skin.

Yeah.

Okay.

Dude, where are you?
Did you know

that Sascha got downsized
to a smaller cubicle

because her boss
has it in for her?

Because I do.
I'm doing all the heavy lifting

myself. Grooming tools down.

I'm not grooming.

I'm taking a shit.

Hurry up.

(SNORES, EXHALES)

(YAWNS)

(EXHALES)

Oh.

Yes.

So it begins.

(CLEARS THROAT)

First stop:
The ladies by the pool.

(EXHALES)

(CHUCKLES) I like your style.

Yo, thank you.

Can I help you with something?

That's what I fucking thought.

Oh, dear.

Um, uh, you may need
to cover up, please?

- What the fuck?
- Perhaps you'd be more comfortable...

I'm going for a swim, dork.

- Please, j-just...
- Get off.

Angel!

And then, with no warning,
he's like, "Leesha",

- "the bichon frise has been sick all week."
- (ALERT CHIMING)

I'm like, "Yeah, 'cause
you keep feeding it Raisinets."

- DYLAN: Get off!
- (CONCIERGE GRUNTING)

Dylan?

- Just...
- Get the fuck off of me.

Oh, shit.

Shit. Hey.

I trusted you.

Who's this, now?

This is Dylan.

- What?
- NORA: Yeah. Heard all about

your little field trip
to the Grey Zone.

Turns out the puberty patch
was female.

- Oh.
- You guys effed up.

Dude, biology 101.

It says "XX," not "XY."

How am I supposed to know?
I thought it just meant

he's gonna be, like,
extra, extra manly.

- Oh, hey...
- Haven't you ever seen boobs before?

The... They're for
feeding babies.

- Yummy.
- Oh, grow up. Creep.

- Yikes. I'm-I'm really sorry.
- ALEESHA: Mm.

This has Luke's
greasy fingerprints all over it.

Where is that
Hurt Lockin' asshole?

Found him.

And he's right where
he's not supposed to be.

(EXHALES) I'm really sorry.

Oh, fuck.

- What are you doing?
- What does it look like?

I told you to keep your dead ass
away from our living visitors.

Ma'am, do you know
he's an upload

from our
permanent resident floors?

She doesn't care.
She thinks that's hot.

- Wait, what? You're an upload?
- ALEESHA: Mm-hmm.

Yeah. No, that's fine.
That's totally cool.

I can totally handle that.
That's not weird.

That's not weird.

(CLEARS THROAT)
No, it's not weird.

Will you excuse me just a min...
(CLEARS THROAT)

(SASCHA COUGHING AND RETCHING)

Get your ass back upstairs.

So, do you want to,
you know, make out?

WOMAN: Greg, dinner!

GREG: Coming, Ma!

Just fucking
with some dead people.

Wh-Wh... Why?

Well, this was the move
of a true douchebag.

I know. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, dude... ette.

NORA: Poor kid.

Dylan, we all know
that gender's a spectrum,

so if this is your way of,
you know, telling us

that this body is more in line
with your identity inside,

that-that is just great.

And I'm sure
we both support you.

- Yes, of course. 100%.
- No.

I can tell this is not me.

Can you just change me back,
please?

Okay. But it's gonna take me
hours to reprogram,

so are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

- (SIGHS)
- Right.

Well, next time, I'll leave you
with real grown-ups.

Oh, how's your dad? Fuck.

Smooth.

Those golfers staring at me

was definitely the worst part.

Yeah, I can imagine.

I bet a lot of girls
feel that way sometimes, too.

You know,
when guys are only interested

in their bodies.

I guess everybody wants
to be treated like a person.

NATHAN: Yeah.

Oh...
fuck, I missed your titties?

They're the talk of the lobby.

Hey, not cool, man.

Oh. Sorry. My bad.

Why do they have
to program me so horny?

I'm sure they'd remove it
if they could.

(EXHALES) Then why make
our angels so freaking hot?

Mine has legs
that just won't quit.

You know, I was only a woman
for a couple of hours,

but that's demeaning.

I bet when you didn't have legs,

you didn't want that
to be the only thing

people noticed about you.

Okay, PC Police.

I'll come back
when you're fixed.

DYLAN: You know,

I may still only have
a 12-year-old's body,

but I'm more mature than Luke.

Definitely.

But that's
a pretty low bar, kid.

Call Josh Pitzer.

Hello, Mr. Pitzer.

Just confirming
we're still on for 5:00.

This is the third time
you've called to confirm.

We're still on.

I'll see you in two minutes.

Huh.

(CHIMES)

Car?

Car, what-what are you doing?

Stop. Stop.

Obey me!

(TIRES SCREECH)

(RUMBLING)

The heck?

What's that noise?

We're on wood?

No, no, no. Car.

Car.

Car, stop!

Oh, thank God.

Call for help.

Okay? Call your mom.

Something is wrong
with my car, okay?

Did you hear me? Call for help.

Yeah. Or... No, no, no.

Don't move. Damn it!

No!

Stop!

- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
- Wait, wait! No!

Stop!