United States of Tara (2009–2011): Season 1, Episode 10 - Betrayal - full transcript
Tara is shocked when her therapist, Dr. Ocean, suddenly terminates her treatment leading after telling Tara that she can do better with the next stages of her treatment. Charmaine decides to cheer Tara up by taking her out to a day at a health spa. But at the spa, Tara's new alter-ego 'Gimme' appears and briefly causes a disturbance before 'T' re-emerges. Meanwhile, Max decides to tell Charmaine, Kate and Marshall about Tara's new shadowy and dangerous alter which none of them take too well. Elsewhere, Kate thinks about filing a sexual harassment charge against Gene when she sees that his obsession with her is becoming more dangerous. Also, a hopeful Marshall sees his developing romance with Jason going strong, until 'T' betrays Marshall by making a move onto Jason, which leads to Marshall reaching his breaking point.
Previously,
on United States of Tara...
What the fuck?
Any way you can
help me understand Gimme?
I believe that Gimme
holds all your raw emotions.
It's Gimme's job to keep
the truth from coming to light.
I wanna thank you for being
such a strong, supportive kid.
- I'm really lucky.
- We're lucky, mom.
I mean... because of you,
we get to be interesting.
To mother issues.
You got it bad, don't ya?
I think that's
a distinct possibility.
- Nothin' like love.
- I need new rules.
I think I'm gonna wait three dates
before I let a guy fuck me.
Was that inappropriate?
I have two tickets to my
roommate Kurt's improv show.
Actually, I think
I'm coming down with something.
Gene Stuart.
Kate's general manager.
- I brought some beef broth for Kate.
- She's not here right now.
She's probably
at the doctor or something.
Go ahead, Luther.
Hurt me good, baby!
- That's mom's body.
- She's mentally disturbed.
Fuck!
- Mommy?
- What is this on me?
Dad is gonna flip.
Sous-titre: grischka, lafeelicita
salomon, valpi
Tattoos really hurt.
Don't let anyone
tell you they don't.
But I don't regret it...
because it'll always
remind me of Kate.
And it didn't hurt nearly as much as
pushing all 8 pounds, 7 ounces of her
through my birth canal.
But something else happened
in that tattoo parlor.
- Sometimes she pretends
- Mom's blood...
- a french canadian ho-bag...
- Mom's skin.
- Used to go out with Lance Armstrong
- Mom's teeth, mom's hair
- Just do it, Luther.
- You sure?
You're a visitor, and you know it.
Do it, baby.
I wasn't there...
but I could actually hear
what T. was hearing
before I transitioned.
And then there was last night...
I don't know why
it's happening or how...
but the feeling is...
incredible.
When the host and the alter
share the same experience
simultaneously,
it's called co-consciousness.
This is quite a breakthrough, Tara.
So can I expect this
to happen more often?
If you continue to work so hard
and make such progress.
Now, I want to discuss
something else.
Given where you are
in your treatment, Tara,
I think it might be time for
you to see another therapist,
one who has more experience
with D.I.D. patients.
I've discussed this with my clinical
supervisor who agrees,
and we've come up with some
recommendations together.
If you think it'll help
to throw another therapist
into the mix,
then let's push even harder.
You'd actually be seeing
another therapist instead of me.
This other doctor I'm thinking of
runs an excellent program.
Wait, so...
you're... breaking up with me?
Technically, it's a termination.
Oh, god, that's even worse.
You're just giving up on me.
Oh, no, Tara.
It's not like that.
Let me... reframe this for you.
It'll help if you think of it
not as the end of our relationship,
but as a sort of graduation
from one stage of treatment
to another.
And we'll still have
four more sessions together
to help you through the transition.
Great.
Just what I need...
More transitions.
So a kiss like
from here to eternity?
More like a place in the sun.
- Marshall!
- I know.
Look, he's coming.
Just... just act natural.
Well, that wasn't very
Montgomery Clift of him.
Maybe he didn't see me.
Yeah, and maybe he's secretly blind,
like he lost his eyesight
to childhood fevers,
but he developed sonar like a bat.
Okay, that's enough.
Look, Marshall, I mean, it's great
to see you all oogly and everything.
I just don't ever wanna find you
crucified on a fence.
Too soon for that reference.
Look, Jason just texted me,
asking to meet him
at the bike trails after school.
Does your bike even have gears?
Three of them.
So when all the leaves are bagged,
and make sure you use the bags
made of recycled paper.
You wouldn't believe the flack
we got last year.
- cost us a lot of votes.
- Bummer.
Yes, we want all the decorative grasses
cinched with bunting.
The effect should be like
sheaves of grain.
Right, right, so you can
remind the mayor's donors
of our great agricultural
heritage, right?
- Exactly, Max, and...
- Excuse me, Carol!
Hey, pop the trunk.
Thanks for helping me out
with this stuff.
No offense, but Carol's
like fucking Alice on meth.
Are these biodegradable?
- Totally.
- You're the best.
How'd it go with ocean?
Oceanic.
Oceanic?
What's that mean?
Well, it was interesting.
She thinks I'm making real progress,
but she also wants to terminate
our therapy in a month.
What?
What the fuck?
We need her.
Why'd she do that?
I'm not exactly sure.
Oh, hi, Tara.
Max, I don't know
how to say this, but...
Is he documented?
- Octavio? Very much so.
- Oh, thank heavens.
{\Okay, }So as soon as you're ready, we need
to talk mums and gourds and what not.
You got it, Carol.
What are we gonna do now?
Right now I'm gonna
pick up Charmaine,
and then I'm going to process...
my last therapy session.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Max? Max. Max!
They're raking up my bulbs!
Max!
- Shit.
- Stop that.
I gotta go.
So how are you feeling today?
All fixed up?
100%.
It must have been my care package.
Yeah. The soup was great. Thanks.
I'm just here for my check.
You know, Kitty, any shift
missed due to malingering
is justifiable cause for suspension.
And/or the withholding
of one day's pay
or the outright dismissal
at the manager's discretion.
It's in the Barnabeez covenant.
You have to come up with
a better excuse.
What the hell is that?
I saw it on your fridge,
and I couldn't resist.
You stole a picture from me?
- What the hell were you thinking?
- It was looking right at me.
Look, you can have it back
if you want.
No, no, no.
No. It's okay.
Actually, I don't ever
want to see it again.
Well, maybe you'd like
a photo of me too
for those times
that we can't be together.
No. That's okay.
I'm good.
I'm glad you came around.
This gift certificate's
about to expire.
The endoscopy center
gives perks like this?
No, it's from that temp job I had
at that construction company.
I think after three months
of answering phones
next to a pile driver,
they felt sorry for me.
I just hope you're not
wasting it on me.
Look,
if all the people who spent all their
time and money at therapy each week
just took a spa day instead, the world
would be a much saner place.
Maybe.
I'm just... I'm still not sure
about the massage part.
I just don't like strangers
touching me.
You're gonna love it.
Trust me.
Wow!
Well, is it a good picture?
Who cares if it's a good picture?
- It's creepy.
- Yeah, you're right.
And he's usually
more subtle than that.
Usually?
Well, except for right now.
That's the new trainee.
You know, you might have
grounds for sexual harassment.
You should call H.R. My sister's best
friend's cousin. You don't know her.
But she sued her boss,
and she got a white Lexus
and invisaligns.
So if there's anything
that every good and true member
of the Barnabeez family knows,
it's that there's no
fraternizing or loitering
when you're off the clock.
Don't worry.
I was just leaving.
Oh, you just wanted to come here
so you could show off your new rack.
True.
But I also need to glow tonight.
It's the all-important second date.
Did I mention
he's an environmental lawyer?
30 times.
So why do you think Ocean
just suddenly dumped me?
Who knows, Tara?
I mean...
We never know
why someone breaks up with us.
I mean, I lie to guys all the time,
and I'm sure they lie to me.
Well, maybe dumped
is a wrong word choice.
We weren't actually dating.
Sure sounds like you were.
I mean, gotta give her credit,
though, for that graduation line.
I'm gonna bust that one out.
It's so much better than,
"it's not you, it's me."
You know, you could be
a little more sympathetic.
I am sympathetic.
I mean, what was your plan?
Did you think you were gonna keep
seeing her for the rest of your life?
No.
Just until I got better.
She was the first therapist
I could trust.
Now I have to start all over
again with someone else.
Well, maybe you were
too much for her.
I mean, you are a handful, Tara.
- What does that mean?
- There's four of you.
Plus Ocean.
That's not a relationship.
It's an orgy.
Ladies, it's time for your massages.
Okay, you can lie flat, dear.
Just rest your head here.
- In the... big donut thingy?
- That's right.
All right.
Let's see.
Here we go.
Now, I'm gonna begin very gently...
And you just let me know
if you'd like something more intense.
You carry all your tension here.
Was that too much?
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it's your sister.
Of course it is.
Oh my God!
Are you okay?
Hands off, bitches!
God!
She's okay.
She's got a touch phobia thing.
Tara, what was that?
That... That fit thing?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
That... That thing.
You're fucked up.
T. look, I know you don't like me,
but we're gonna have to put up
with each other {\for }a little bit{\, okay?}.
That was really scary back there.
T. you're gonna have to just leave
Tara alone for a little while.
Why don't I leave you alone?
- Fuck, yeah!
- I'm just gonna...
Welcome. You have reached
Barnabeez' human resources office.
If you would like to join
the Barnabeez family, press or say one.
- If you are already a member...
- Dad. You're home.
Hey, honey.
You haven't seen T.
by any chance, have you?
No. Why? What'd she do now?
Had an episode at the spa,
dissed your aunt.
And now I'm all tense again.
Define episode.
- Max?
- Wait.
Well, apparently your mom
really doesn't like massages.
- What happened? Is she okay?
- No, she's fine. She...
just kind of got stressed out because
her therapist is terminating her.
She didn't terminate her.
It's not Robocop.
Max, her therapist
is breaking up with her.
- Why are they breaking up?
- Who's breaking up?
You know what? That is mine.
We charged it to my credit card.
I'll reimburse you, Charmaine.
- Fucking knock it off.
- Jackass.
- Old bitch.
- All right, all right.
Fuck yourself.
God, please.
What happened at the spa?
They were all up in my shit.
I had to get out{\ of there}.
Sounds like Gimme came out.
Any idea why?
{\Man, }How many times do I have to tell you
I don't know shit about that Gimme shit.
All right.
I believe you.
Why don't you go out to the shed
and chill out for a bit?
'Cause I'm already chill.
I'm the chill-chill-chillingest.
Now I need to smoke
because of this interrogation.
- No further than the yard.
- Yes, dad!
Max, I know you guys
are still sorting shit out,
but I have a date tonight
that I do not intend to miss.
So do you think you could drive me home
so I could flat-iron my hair
and get my glow on?
You think you could stay here
till Tara comes back, please?
How long's that gonna be?
I don't know.
Sure. Fine.
That was...
I...
You're right...
That's {\definitely }the best way home.
Yeah. It's great up there.
So much simpler,
away from everyone else.
{\Hey, }Reverend,
you're preaching to the choir.
Yo, whassup, boys?
- I believe you've met T. before.
- You been out ridin', huh?
I take the bike trails
home every day.
So that's how you keep
your trunk packed so tight.
Shouldn't you be watching
Jerry Springer?
Yeah. But Charmaine's in the house.
Then why don't you go
hang out in the shed?
No smokin' in the shed!
You want some alone time.
Hey, I'm cool.
T. don't judge.
Sorry. Every family's
got a downwardly mobile one.
I like her.
I think she's funny.
You even like my family.
So do you wanna hang out again?
Yeah, definitely. Let's ride
our bikes home again tomorrow.
I meant kind of...
Hang out...
in my room...
which is a very peaceful place
away from other people.
You know, I noticed that
last weekend.
It wasn't bad, was it?
It wasn't bad at all.
We can do that again.
We could do that now, you know.
Can I see you inside?
Right now, dad? This...
- Moment in history?
- Yeah, it's important.
Hey, Jason.
Shit. I hate important.
Be cool, bro.
Tomorrow... we ride again.
All right. Cool.
See ya.
You just gonna leave
Marshall's bike there?
Where does he keep it?
Come on.
I'll show ya.
Over there.
You're Marshall's bf, huh?
I'm not anybody's bf.
Just gettin' benefits.
You like boys though, right?
Maybe.
You like girls?
Maybe.
Maybe...
you're bisexual.
Maybe I'm 16.
We're the same age, you know.
Are you sure?
Very sure.
I'm just mature for my age.
It's just fucking bizarre.
So mom's new alter
is a fucking animal?
Why do you {\have to }say fuck all the time?
It's not an animal. It's like a...
primitive side of her.
Preverbal.
No social skills.
Kind of alter that defaces murals
and pees in people's beds.
- I knew I didn't wet the bed.
- Oh, my God.
That is such a relief.
And yet not at all.
- Fuckety fuck fuck.
- New word, Kate.
Fuck.
Well, this is fantastic.
Tara thinks she's a rottweiler
or something.
Congratulations, Marshall. You finally
got that dog you always wanted.
- Shut up.
- {\Dad, }Can you {\please }install a lock on my door?
I {\just }realized that I don't want
mom to come {\in }and pee on me.
- She's not gonna pee on you.
- Not if you walk her regularly.
Okay, I know it's a stressful time,
but, you know, maybe
you can keep your shit together?
Sorry.
- So what are we gonna do?
- Nothin' till mom comes home.
Okay? No decisions without her.
Agreed?
I'm gonna go check on her.
- Good idea, Marsh.
- Thanks, Marsh.
- Get the hell outta my shit.
- You get the hell out.
Marsh, man, I am...
I am so sorry.
Stop it.
This is fucking bullshit!
- Marshall!
- Just get away from me.
- What did I...
- What do you fucking think?
That wasn't me.
I would never...
I wish I could protect you from...
I can protect myself.
Come on. I'm sorry
I didn't have the time today.
So what, T. came out at the spa?
Yeah, after Gimme.
Shit.
Nobody got hurt. No damage done.
Just a weird appearance.
I smoothed it over with management.
We just owe Charmaine
- a plush robe and a massage.
- Charmaine knows about Gimme?
And the kids.
Jesus.
Sorry, but things are {\just} getting
way too grotesque here,
so I'm staying the night at Tanya's.
At least her parents
are just boozers.
- Poor Marshall.
- He's okay.
How?
He's gonna be okay. Listen.
He's taking the Billie Holiday cure {\right }now.
Just give him some time.
Come on.
No. I've never heard that before.
But go on.
Can we make it 7:30 instead?
Can we continue this later?
My boss just walked in.
Me too.
I'll see you soon. Bye.
What?
You are my boss.
I'm sorry about today.
I'll make it up to you.
How?
You know what?
I needed a new robe anyhow.
What a day.
Welcome. You have reached
Barnabeez' human resources office.
If you would like to join
the Barnabeez family, press or say one.
To check the status of your application,
press or say two.
For one of our human resources
professionals, press or say eight.
Eight.
- I'm sorry, I did not understand...
- Eight!
- Welcome...
- Eight. Fucking eight!
Please leave your name,
store number,
and contact information
after the tone.
Hi, this is Kate Gregson.
I am at store number 437
in Overland Park.
And, you can call me back.
My number is 913
555-0173.
Please call me back.
My manager is a total freak show.
Have a good date.
- I'll probably fuck it up.
- Maybe. With that attitude.
Hello!
The shed's on fire.
What?
Holy shit!
Get the other hose.
Right there.
on United States of Tara...
What the fuck?
Any way you can
help me understand Gimme?
I believe that Gimme
holds all your raw emotions.
It's Gimme's job to keep
the truth from coming to light.
I wanna thank you for being
such a strong, supportive kid.
- I'm really lucky.
- We're lucky, mom.
I mean... because of you,
we get to be interesting.
To mother issues.
You got it bad, don't ya?
I think that's
a distinct possibility.
- Nothin' like love.
- I need new rules.
I think I'm gonna wait three dates
before I let a guy fuck me.
Was that inappropriate?
I have two tickets to my
roommate Kurt's improv show.
Actually, I think
I'm coming down with something.
Gene Stuart.
Kate's general manager.
- I brought some beef broth for Kate.
- She's not here right now.
She's probably
at the doctor or something.
Go ahead, Luther.
Hurt me good, baby!
- That's mom's body.
- She's mentally disturbed.
Fuck!
- Mommy?
- What is this on me?
Dad is gonna flip.
Sous-titre: grischka, lafeelicita
salomon, valpi
Tattoos really hurt.
Don't let anyone
tell you they don't.
But I don't regret it...
because it'll always
remind me of Kate.
And it didn't hurt nearly as much as
pushing all 8 pounds, 7 ounces of her
through my birth canal.
But something else happened
in that tattoo parlor.
- Sometimes she pretends
- Mom's blood...
- a french canadian ho-bag...
- Mom's skin.
- Used to go out with Lance Armstrong
- Mom's teeth, mom's hair
- Just do it, Luther.
- You sure?
You're a visitor, and you know it.
Do it, baby.
I wasn't there...
but I could actually hear
what T. was hearing
before I transitioned.
And then there was last night...
I don't know why
it's happening or how...
but the feeling is...
incredible.
When the host and the alter
share the same experience
simultaneously,
it's called co-consciousness.
This is quite a breakthrough, Tara.
So can I expect this
to happen more often?
If you continue to work so hard
and make such progress.
Now, I want to discuss
something else.
Given where you are
in your treatment, Tara,
I think it might be time for
you to see another therapist,
one who has more experience
with D.I.D. patients.
I've discussed this with my clinical
supervisor who agrees,
and we've come up with some
recommendations together.
If you think it'll help
to throw another therapist
into the mix,
then let's push even harder.
You'd actually be seeing
another therapist instead of me.
This other doctor I'm thinking of
runs an excellent program.
Wait, so...
you're... breaking up with me?
Technically, it's a termination.
Oh, god, that's even worse.
You're just giving up on me.
Oh, no, Tara.
It's not like that.
Let me... reframe this for you.
It'll help if you think of it
not as the end of our relationship,
but as a sort of graduation
from one stage of treatment
to another.
And we'll still have
four more sessions together
to help you through the transition.
Great.
Just what I need...
More transitions.
So a kiss like
from here to eternity?
More like a place in the sun.
- Marshall!
- I know.
Look, he's coming.
Just... just act natural.
Well, that wasn't very
Montgomery Clift of him.
Maybe he didn't see me.
Yeah, and maybe he's secretly blind,
like he lost his eyesight
to childhood fevers,
but he developed sonar like a bat.
Okay, that's enough.
Look, Marshall, I mean, it's great
to see you all oogly and everything.
I just don't ever wanna find you
crucified on a fence.
Too soon for that reference.
Look, Jason just texted me,
asking to meet him
at the bike trails after school.
Does your bike even have gears?
Three of them.
So when all the leaves are bagged,
and make sure you use the bags
made of recycled paper.
You wouldn't believe the flack
we got last year.
- cost us a lot of votes.
- Bummer.
Yes, we want all the decorative grasses
cinched with bunting.
The effect should be like
sheaves of grain.
Right, right, so you can
remind the mayor's donors
of our great agricultural
heritage, right?
- Exactly, Max, and...
- Excuse me, Carol!
Hey, pop the trunk.
Thanks for helping me out
with this stuff.
No offense, but Carol's
like fucking Alice on meth.
Are these biodegradable?
- Totally.
- You're the best.
How'd it go with ocean?
Oceanic.
Oceanic?
What's that mean?
Well, it was interesting.
She thinks I'm making real progress,
but she also wants to terminate
our therapy in a month.
What?
What the fuck?
We need her.
Why'd she do that?
I'm not exactly sure.
Oh, hi, Tara.
Max, I don't know
how to say this, but...
Is he documented?
- Octavio? Very much so.
- Oh, thank heavens.
{\Okay, }So as soon as you're ready, we need
to talk mums and gourds and what not.
You got it, Carol.
What are we gonna do now?
Right now I'm gonna
pick up Charmaine,
and then I'm going to process...
my last therapy session.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Max? Max. Max!
They're raking up my bulbs!
Max!
- Shit.
- Stop that.
I gotta go.
So how are you feeling today?
All fixed up?
100%.
It must have been my care package.
Yeah. The soup was great. Thanks.
I'm just here for my check.
You know, Kitty, any shift
missed due to malingering
is justifiable cause for suspension.
And/or the withholding
of one day's pay
or the outright dismissal
at the manager's discretion.
It's in the Barnabeez covenant.
You have to come up with
a better excuse.
What the hell is that?
I saw it on your fridge,
and I couldn't resist.
You stole a picture from me?
- What the hell were you thinking?
- It was looking right at me.
Look, you can have it back
if you want.
No, no, no.
No. It's okay.
Actually, I don't ever
want to see it again.
Well, maybe you'd like
a photo of me too
for those times
that we can't be together.
No. That's okay.
I'm good.
I'm glad you came around.
This gift certificate's
about to expire.
The endoscopy center
gives perks like this?
No, it's from that temp job I had
at that construction company.
I think after three months
of answering phones
next to a pile driver,
they felt sorry for me.
I just hope you're not
wasting it on me.
Look,
if all the people who spent all their
time and money at therapy each week
just took a spa day instead, the world
would be a much saner place.
Maybe.
I'm just... I'm still not sure
about the massage part.
I just don't like strangers
touching me.
You're gonna love it.
Trust me.
Wow!
Well, is it a good picture?
Who cares if it's a good picture?
- It's creepy.
- Yeah, you're right.
And he's usually
more subtle than that.
Usually?
Well, except for right now.
That's the new trainee.
You know, you might have
grounds for sexual harassment.
You should call H.R. My sister's best
friend's cousin. You don't know her.
But she sued her boss,
and she got a white Lexus
and invisaligns.
So if there's anything
that every good and true member
of the Barnabeez family knows,
it's that there's no
fraternizing or loitering
when you're off the clock.
Don't worry.
I was just leaving.
Oh, you just wanted to come here
so you could show off your new rack.
True.
But I also need to glow tonight.
It's the all-important second date.
Did I mention
he's an environmental lawyer?
30 times.
So why do you think Ocean
just suddenly dumped me?
Who knows, Tara?
I mean...
We never know
why someone breaks up with us.
I mean, I lie to guys all the time,
and I'm sure they lie to me.
Well, maybe dumped
is a wrong word choice.
We weren't actually dating.
Sure sounds like you were.
I mean, gotta give her credit,
though, for that graduation line.
I'm gonna bust that one out.
It's so much better than,
"it's not you, it's me."
You know, you could be
a little more sympathetic.
I am sympathetic.
I mean, what was your plan?
Did you think you were gonna keep
seeing her for the rest of your life?
No.
Just until I got better.
She was the first therapist
I could trust.
Now I have to start all over
again with someone else.
Well, maybe you were
too much for her.
I mean, you are a handful, Tara.
- What does that mean?
- There's four of you.
Plus Ocean.
That's not a relationship.
It's an orgy.
Ladies, it's time for your massages.
Okay, you can lie flat, dear.
Just rest your head here.
- In the... big donut thingy?
- That's right.
All right.
Let's see.
Here we go.
Now, I'm gonna begin very gently...
And you just let me know
if you'd like something more intense.
You carry all your tension here.
Was that too much?
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it's your sister.
Of course it is.
Oh my God!
Are you okay?
Hands off, bitches!
God!
She's okay.
She's got a touch phobia thing.
Tara, what was that?
That... That fit thing?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
That... That thing.
You're fucked up.
T. look, I know you don't like me,
but we're gonna have to put up
with each other {\for }a little bit{\, okay?}.
That was really scary back there.
T. you're gonna have to just leave
Tara alone for a little while.
Why don't I leave you alone?
- Fuck, yeah!
- I'm just gonna...
Welcome. You have reached
Barnabeez' human resources office.
If you would like to join
the Barnabeez family, press or say one.
- If you are already a member...
- Dad. You're home.
Hey, honey.
You haven't seen T.
by any chance, have you?
No. Why? What'd she do now?
Had an episode at the spa,
dissed your aunt.
And now I'm all tense again.
Define episode.
- Max?
- Wait.
Well, apparently your mom
really doesn't like massages.
- What happened? Is she okay?
- No, she's fine. She...
just kind of got stressed out because
her therapist is terminating her.
She didn't terminate her.
It's not Robocop.
Max, her therapist
is breaking up with her.
- Why are they breaking up?
- Who's breaking up?
You know what? That is mine.
We charged it to my credit card.
I'll reimburse you, Charmaine.
- Fucking knock it off.
- Jackass.
- Old bitch.
- All right, all right.
Fuck yourself.
God, please.
What happened at the spa?
They were all up in my shit.
I had to get out{\ of there}.
Sounds like Gimme came out.
Any idea why?
{\Man, }How many times do I have to tell you
I don't know shit about that Gimme shit.
All right.
I believe you.
Why don't you go out to the shed
and chill out for a bit?
'Cause I'm already chill.
I'm the chill-chill-chillingest.
Now I need to smoke
because of this interrogation.
- No further than the yard.
- Yes, dad!
Max, I know you guys
are still sorting shit out,
but I have a date tonight
that I do not intend to miss.
So do you think you could drive me home
so I could flat-iron my hair
and get my glow on?
You think you could stay here
till Tara comes back, please?
How long's that gonna be?
I don't know.
Sure. Fine.
That was...
I...
You're right...
That's {\definitely }the best way home.
Yeah. It's great up there.
So much simpler,
away from everyone else.
{\Hey, }Reverend,
you're preaching to the choir.
Yo, whassup, boys?
- I believe you've met T. before.
- You been out ridin', huh?
I take the bike trails
home every day.
So that's how you keep
your trunk packed so tight.
Shouldn't you be watching
Jerry Springer?
Yeah. But Charmaine's in the house.
Then why don't you go
hang out in the shed?
No smokin' in the shed!
You want some alone time.
Hey, I'm cool.
T. don't judge.
Sorry. Every family's
got a downwardly mobile one.
I like her.
I think she's funny.
You even like my family.
So do you wanna hang out again?
Yeah, definitely. Let's ride
our bikes home again tomorrow.
I meant kind of...
Hang out...
in my room...
which is a very peaceful place
away from other people.
You know, I noticed that
last weekend.
It wasn't bad, was it?
It wasn't bad at all.
We can do that again.
We could do that now, you know.
Can I see you inside?
Right now, dad? This...
- Moment in history?
- Yeah, it's important.
Hey, Jason.
Shit. I hate important.
Be cool, bro.
Tomorrow... we ride again.
All right. Cool.
See ya.
You just gonna leave
Marshall's bike there?
Where does he keep it?
Come on.
I'll show ya.
Over there.
You're Marshall's bf, huh?
I'm not anybody's bf.
Just gettin' benefits.
You like boys though, right?
Maybe.
You like girls?
Maybe.
Maybe...
you're bisexual.
Maybe I'm 16.
We're the same age, you know.
Are you sure?
Very sure.
I'm just mature for my age.
It's just fucking bizarre.
So mom's new alter
is a fucking animal?
Why do you {\have to }say fuck all the time?
It's not an animal. It's like a...
primitive side of her.
Preverbal.
No social skills.
Kind of alter that defaces murals
and pees in people's beds.
- I knew I didn't wet the bed.
- Oh, my God.
That is such a relief.
And yet not at all.
- Fuckety fuck fuck.
- New word, Kate.
Fuck.
Well, this is fantastic.
Tara thinks she's a rottweiler
or something.
Congratulations, Marshall. You finally
got that dog you always wanted.
- Shut up.
- {\Dad, }Can you {\please }install a lock on my door?
I {\just }realized that I don't want
mom to come {\in }and pee on me.
- She's not gonna pee on you.
- Not if you walk her regularly.
Okay, I know it's a stressful time,
but, you know, maybe
you can keep your shit together?
Sorry.
- So what are we gonna do?
- Nothin' till mom comes home.
Okay? No decisions without her.
Agreed?
I'm gonna go check on her.
- Good idea, Marsh.
- Thanks, Marsh.
- Get the hell outta my shit.
- You get the hell out.
Marsh, man, I am...
I am so sorry.
Stop it.
This is fucking bullshit!
- Marshall!
- Just get away from me.
- What did I...
- What do you fucking think?
That wasn't me.
I would never...
I wish I could protect you from...
I can protect myself.
Come on. I'm sorry
I didn't have the time today.
So what, T. came out at the spa?
Yeah, after Gimme.
Shit.
Nobody got hurt. No damage done.
Just a weird appearance.
I smoothed it over with management.
We just owe Charmaine
- a plush robe and a massage.
- Charmaine knows about Gimme?
And the kids.
Jesus.
Sorry, but things are {\just} getting
way too grotesque here,
so I'm staying the night at Tanya's.
At least her parents
are just boozers.
- Poor Marshall.
- He's okay.
How?
He's gonna be okay. Listen.
He's taking the Billie Holiday cure {\right }now.
Just give him some time.
Come on.
No. I've never heard that before.
But go on.
Can we make it 7:30 instead?
Can we continue this later?
My boss just walked in.
Me too.
I'll see you soon. Bye.
What?
You are my boss.
I'm sorry about today.
I'll make it up to you.
How?
You know what?
I needed a new robe anyhow.
What a day.
Welcome. You have reached
Barnabeez' human resources office.
If you would like to join
the Barnabeez family, press or say one.
To check the status of your application,
press or say two.
For one of our human resources
professionals, press or say eight.
Eight.
- I'm sorry, I did not understand...
- Eight!
- Welcome...
- Eight. Fucking eight!
Please leave your name,
store number,
and contact information
after the tone.
Hi, this is Kate Gregson.
I am at store number 437
in Overland Park.
And, you can call me back.
My number is 913
555-0173.
Please call me back.
My manager is a total freak show.
Have a good date.
- I'll probably fuck it up.
- Maybe. With that attitude.
Hello!
The shed's on fire.
What?
Holy shit!
Get the other hose.
Right there.