United States of Tara (2009–2011): Season 1, Episode 11 - Snow - full transcript
Tara, sensing that she's losing control of her other personalities, checks herself into a mental hospital for treatment where her new in-clinic doctor, Dr. Holden, a charismatic expert, pushes her to look into her repressed memories to get at the root of her mental state. Max is also forced to stay at the facility which has a group therapy session for significant others too, but he's wary about opening up his feelings. As Dr. Holden tries to push Tara to remember her past, her other alters, for the first time ever, refuse to emerge at any given time to allow the truth about Tara's past to surface. Back home, Charamine looks after Kate and Marshall while their parents are aware and she invites her new boyfriend over for dinner. Also, Kate isn't making much progress in her sexual harassment complaint against Gene, while an angry and alienated Marshall begins drowning his sorrows with xanax pills.
>> Previously
on united states of tara...
>> I think it might be time for
you to see another therapist.
>> You're breaking up with me?
>> We need her.
Why'd she do that?
>> I mean,
you are a handful, tara.
>> What does that mean?
>> There's four of you.
That's not a relationship.
It's an orgy.
>> I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it's your sister.
>> Of course it is.
Tara.
Oh, my god.
>> [Shouting]
>> Aah!
>> Sounds like gimme came out.
>> How many times
do I have to tell you?
I don't know shit
about that gimme shit.
>> What the hell is that?
>> I saw it on your fridge,
and I-I couldn't resist.
>> You stole a picture
from me?
>> You know, you might have
grounds for sexual harassment.
You should call h.r.
>> To mother issues.
It wasn't bad, was it?
>> Wasn't bad at all.
>> You're marshall's b.f.
>> I'm not anybody's b.f.
Marsh, man, I am--
I am so sorry.
>> Marshall.
That wasn't me.
I would never--
>> Hey.
>> Hello?!
The shed's on fire!
>> Holy shit!
Kate, get that other hose!
[Contemplative music]
* *
>> * Open up the sky *
* This mess is getting high *
* It's windy,
and our family needs a ride *
* *
* I know we'll be just fine *
* When we learn to love
the ride *
* *
* I know we'll be fine *
* When we learn to love
the ride *
* *
* I know we'll be
just fine *
* When we learn to love *
* The ride * *
>> We had a priest
who used to give us gum balls
In the confessional
at st. Anne's.
We'd be in there--
"Bless me, father, I cheated
on my french test."
Or, "bless me, father, I did
whippits with a hot townie."
I mean,
you couldn't phone it in,
But if you were really penitent
And father roger could feel
the sorrow in your heart,
He'd hit you
with some hail marys
And put a little gum ball
in the slot.
[Scoffs]
>> Tell me that you know
that was wrong, right?
A lot of ways
to express yourself.
>> Dad, please don't send me
to military school.
>> It's worse than that, pal.
You're going
to regular-ass school.
Go get some clothes on.
>> [Scoffs]
but what if I see him?
>> Like I give a fuck.
Go get dressed for school.
>> That's absurd.
>> What's absurd?
>> [Sighs]
nothing.
>> Marshall.
>> It's okay
that he's mad at me.
To tell you the truth,
I'm pretty mad
at me right now, too.
>> [Sighs]
>> She should be put away.
>> Shut your gob.
>> Seriously,
what are we doing here?
We're just gonna treat it
like a normal tuesday
And act like nothing
even happened?
>> Nobody's acting, marsh,
especially not your mom.
>> Right,
because she's insane.
I mean, we're living
so far off the map,
It's like early john waters
or something,
Before divine
was even adorable.
>> He's kind of right, dad.
Do we need a plan
or something?
I mean, maybe she should
at least be back on her meds.
>> I know it's messed up
right now, okay?
But we're not gonna bail
on her like dr. Ocean
And all those other useless
fucking doctors we dealt with.
She made a commitment to get off
her meds till she gets better,
So...
>> It doesn't seem
to be getting any better, dad.
In the words of police chief
martin brody,
"We need a bigger boat."
>> Sometimes the strongest thing
you can do is ask for help.
[Chuckles]
We need a bigger fucking boat.
[Soft music]
* *
[Telephone ringing]
>> [Sighs]
>> Your, uh, hospitalization
in 1989.
>> Yeah, I, uh, I drove
Into the back
of an ice cream truck.
Well, buck did.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> But that was
Before any authenticated
diagnosis, correct?
>> Mm-hmm, none of the doctors
could figure it out.
Until they did,
we were just...
Drowning.
>> Well, disassociation is--
Look, it's so tough.
I want to commend you
for making your way here.
>> Yeah, I kind of had to.
[Chuckles]
We're just lucky my sister
was able to watch the kids.
She's not gonna bring that new
guy over and sleep with him
In our bed, is she?
Sorry.
>> Mmm.
>> So what can tara expect
from this?
>> Well, it's
pretty straightforward.
Look, you--
you can't get better
Until you know
what happened to you.
My program provides
a two-week protected environment
Where patients
can really dig in.
Once we start breaking down
the walls
Between you and your alters,
You'll be able to get
out of survival mode
And really start to live.
You'll have individual therapy
with me, plus group therapy,
Long-term-recovery planning,
All sorts of good stuff
you'll find helpful.
>> I know I will.
>> Sounds good, huh?
>> And for you, too, max.
>> Pardon?
>> I've found a 12-step model
of family involvement
Is effective
for trauma recovery as well.
>> That was the moment
I decided
That it's god's will
that marty's a multi,
So I better make me
some lemonade.
And if I get him a cd
for his birthday,
I'm pretty sure at least one
of the alters will like it.
[Applause]
>> When I started disassociating
after iraq,
I seriously thought
that everybody woke up
In strange hotel rooms
with people they never met.
>> Don't they?
[Laughter]
>> Since I was a child,
I always knew there was
something bizarre going on
With my memory.
>> At least you can remember
being a child.
>> I'm so jealous of people who
can really answer the question--
"How was your day?"
>> [Laughs]
>> Yeah, I used to turn it
back on him really fast.
I'd be like,
"good, honey, how was yours?"
>> I got really good
at hiding it.
My trauma happened
when I was 16,
So I didn't start switching
till after that,
But, uh, whenever I would come
back from a transition,
I knew exactly
how to cover and get by.
>> Yeah, we'll do almost
anything to appear normal.
>> I don't remember what
happened at boarding school,
But, uh, I do have
vivid memories
Of a few weeks afterwards.
It was a month
until summer break,
And I couldn't wait
to get out.
I'm such
a total summer person.
[Light laughter]
And I remember
I wore my bathing suit
Under my clothes every day.
>> [Laughs]
>> And while everybody
was going to class
And going on
with their lives,
I just sat in my dorm window
Waiting for summer to come.
>> Did it?
>> The next thing
I remember...
Is snow...
Everywhere.
I was at my parents',
And six months had gone by
in an instant.
And it was just...
White.
>> What'd you think
of the snow?
>> It was...
I mean, not what I expected.
But it was beautiful.
[Chuckles]
>> I don't even know
what to say.
I am so sorry.
>> It's not your fault.
I mean, my mom's
a total freak show.
She's actually
At a hospital
for the criminally insane now.
>> She is?
Wow.
I didn't even know
they had hospitals
For the criminally insane
anymore.
>> T-there's, like, one.
It's outside of chicago.
A-anyway, my aunt's staying
with us, which I'm cool with,
So...
So do you want--
>> I feel really bad
about what happened.
I even talked
to my dad about it.
Listen, I think you're the most
awesome kid in this school.
Remember me when you win
your oscar, okay?
[Bell ringing]
>> [Sighs] so you really think
you can get him to come out?
>> Some patients
have an easier time
Using hypnosis
or sodium pentothal,
But you--you've been
experiencing co-consciousness,
Which indicates permeability
within your system.
>> I've never experienced
co-consciousness with gimme.
>> Well, what about the time
When t hit
on your son's friend?
>> I could see
everything she was doing.
You know,
I don't know what's worse--
Not knowing the shit you do
Or seeing it
and not being able to stop it.
>> Look,
you can do this, tara.
Once we can access the trauma
by probing your alters--
And the odds are high that
at least one of them knows--
Then even
if it's hard to watch,
You'll finally know.
Okay, let's hit it.
>> Okay.
[Camera beeps]
>> [Clears throat]
[Sniffs]
>> So mr. Stuart
called you hot,
Said your hair was
too provocative for daytime.
>> Right.
>> Did mr. Stuart ever make
any requests for dates?
>> All the time.
He always wanted me to go
to brookstone
To check out
the massage chairs.
>> That's not a date.
>> What?
>> It wouldn't hold up.
Look, miss gregson, if you're
claiming sexual misconduct,
It has to be crystal clear
the advances were unwelcome.
>> Of course they were.
>> [Sighs]
The food-service industry
Is a hotbed
of sexual impropriety.
It's basically
institutionalized.
That's why people work
at restaurants.
It's not uncommon
for young waitresses
To develop feelings
for their manager.
It's okay if you blew him.
Did you blow him?
>> No.
I didn't.
[Chuckles]
um, miss--miss jackson,
I got this job
to get some extra money,
Because my mother
is very, very sick.
I have much better things
to do than--
Than spend my time
being in a relationship
With some loser guy
from loser barnabeez.
No offense.
>> I've heard worse.
>> Shit.
Shit!
>> It's really okay.
>> It's not okay.
What is wrong with me?
I was able to be co-conscious
before I came here.
>> You've been through a lot.
>> It's been four days.
Why isn't
the hypnosis working?
>> There are some patients
that don't respond.
>> How am I supposed to get
to the truth and get better
If the alters won't come out
and talk to you?
>> This is a process.
They're not ready.
Tara, and to be fair to them,
look, they just--
They just met me.
>> Well, I like you.
I trust you.
God, it's so frustrating.
>> These alters--they use
tara's body as they please,
And then when tara's out,
She spends all her time
in a state of guilty overdrive.
>> I'm sorry.
Uh, but you keep saying,
"tara this," and, "tara that."
Aren't we supposed to keep our
sharing focused on ourselves?
>> That's right.
>> Yeah.
Like what's really going on
deep down inside of you.
>> I don't know
how that could help.
>> So how are you doing
with your group stuff?
>> It's fantastic.
I'm learning a lot
about myself.
>> [Laughs]
>> Bullshit.
Oh, it's just a lot
of useless yammering.
I thought I was gonna enjoy
meeting people
In my situation, but...
>> Yeah, well,
if it makes you feel any better,
I'm not having much luck
bringing any of my alters out.
>> I thought this guy
was the shit.
And at home,
we can't get them to stay in.
>> Hey, it's the dude
from the picture
You keep by your bed.
>> Is that jenny?
Hey.
>> [Whispering]
jenny's integrated.
>> [Whispering]
why are you whispering?
>> You know how some people
aren't happy for you
When you've lost
a bunch of weight?
>> Oh.
That--that's amazing.
How'd you do that?
>> Well...
A lot of time and hard work,
Like what tara's doing.
>> But it's doable, right?
I mean, we can fix this.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> It's not like taking me
to the dry-cleaner's, max.
>> I know.
I know it's a process.
And dr. Holden said
it's not gonna happen overnight.
I get it.
>> Just as long as it happens
Before our insurance runs out.
>> Morning, fake mom.
>> "Mornseys."
>> Is fake dad still here?
>> No.
[Dryer buzzing]
Guess what I did.
I didn't sleep with him.
I didn't let him sleep over
And...
Perhaps extended
this lovely thing
Yet another day
By continuing to treat myself
Like a special prize
he has to win.
>> Oh, really?
So was it you
Or that special prize
That was having
a screaming orgasm
At 1:30 in the morning?
>> You're imagining things.
He was long gone by then.
>> Oh, really?
>> [Laughing]
well...
I didn't let him sleep over.
>> Oh, my god!
[Telephone ringing]
[Humming]
>> I'm a slut.
Hello?
>> Hey, it's max.
>> Hey, max.
>> More xanax, moosh?
What is this,
anna nicole smith time?
Sorry, but even in fagland,
This is really done.
>> It just
makes everything better.
>> Yeah, but if you take a pill
to make everything better,
Then you never know
when things are fucked up.
And if you don't know
when things are fucked up,
You can't fix it yourself.
>> Believe me,
I know what's fucked up.
>> Do you even get
what mom's alters do?
>> Ruin my fucking life?
>> No.
They do stuff for mom.
She was protecting you.
Jason is nothing
but a bi-curious church monkey
Who's using you
to find some edge.
>> That's not true.
>> Okay, so maybe
he will fuck some guys,
And maybe you can get him
to fuck you.
But he's gonna marry a girl,
And he's never gonna love you
the same way that you love him.
So t came out
to try and put a stop to it.
>> You slept in the truck?
>> Yeah, too many significant
others at the ramada bar.
They just want to talk
and share and stuff.
>> Well, why aren't you sharing
and stuff?
>> Why would I want to do that?
Who wants to hear my shit?
>> You know what I think?
I think you don't want to hear
your shit,
Because you got a lot of it,
And you're afraid
you might lose it,
And your voice
will get all high,
And you'll sound like a woman.
[Chuckles]
>> Yeah, right.
Fuck off.
How are the kids?
>> They're doing so great,
I think you guys should stay
another week or something.
>> Yeah, right.
>> Good luck.
>> Thanks.
[Phone beeps]
>> We're beginning to inject
the medicine into your I.v.
You'll notice you're beginning
to feel a little more relaxed.
Okay, so I can tell
the medicine is reaching you,
I'd like you to count backwards
from 100 for me.
>> Now?
>> Yeah, go ahead.
>> 100...
99...
98...
[Slurring]
97...
96...
>> Very good.
I'm wondering if anybody
Inside tara has a memory
Of a night
when something happened
With tara
and a boy named trip.
>> [Breathing deeply]
>> Can anyone help us
with a memory?
>> What's in it for me?
[Rock music]
[Cheering]
Don't fuck with buck!
[Laughs]
>> So, listen, buck,
I understand you don't want
to have therapy in my office.
>> Oh, yeah,
I'm done with that.
>> Great, well,
then I'll just--
I'll just hang
with you, then, okay?
>> You can hang all you want,
but nobody wants to talk to you.
That's why I'm here.
Oh-oh!
You see that?
Lick it and stick it.
>> Yeah, lucky shot.
Whatever, get out of the way.
>> Lucky, huh?
Cocky sumbitch.
I could hit that shit
Facedown munching
your mama's snatch.
>> Ooh!
[Laughter]
>> I apologize
about my foul tongue.
I'm gonna make you
my special lady.
>> [Clears throat] if everybody
could just sign this card
For tonya,
that would be great.
And when she comes back,
No comments
about missing eyebrows.
And yes, in case anyone
is wondering,
We will continue to serve
Our signature
volcano choc-splosion drink,
Just without
the "splosion" feature.
You guys got me?
>> Yeah.
>> Uh, one more thing--
If anyone has anything
to say to me...
I ask that they say it
to my face.
Have a great shift.
>> Thank you.
>> All right.
>> I'm gonna sign it now.
>> That includes you.
>> I don't have anything
to say.
>> You certainly had something
to say to corporate.
I have friends
all over barnabeez.
That means when there's
something squirrelly
Scooting up the flagpole,
I get a call.
>> I think you get a call
Because you can't keep
your penis
Out of the face
of every girl who works for you.
>> "Penis" is not an acceptable
word for the workplace.
You got this job
Because you wanted to get
out of your crazy-ass house.
You were looking
for affection from me.
>> No, I was not.
>> And I was there for you.
And I still am.
>> Ew.
Can you just stop acting like
whatever happened was important.
>> It was.
Kitty, we fell in love--
>> oh, god, look at you!
You can't even stop scamming
right now.
>> Hey, chucky!
Is that my yoo-hoo?
So help me,
it better be room temperature.
Oh!
Fucking shit is freezing!
That's gonna fuck
with my system.
Idiot.
>> How's she doing?
>> This kind of regression
tells me I'm on the right track.
When tara feels strong enough
to face the truth,
She'll come back.
We just have to be patient.
>> Patient my ass.
You're fucking $6,000 a week.
I can see this shit for free
in my living room.
>> Listen,
I know it's not easy,
But you came here
for a reason.
Please try to trust
the program, max.
If you need something to do
with yourself,
I suggest going
back to your group.
>> Cheating me, taking away--
>> [Laughing]
>> More wine, char?
>> Yes, please.
>> I'll take a refill.
[Soft music]
* *
>> Is this--
Is this what normal people
are like?
Like, is this what dinner's
supposed to feel like?
[Door closes]
>> Hey, sweetie.
Nick made
white trash dessert.
There's pudding
and marshmallows
And bananas and, um...
I don't know.
Yikes.
[Door opens, closes]
>> hey, hey.
I brought jiffy pop.
Who wants to watch lost?
Okay, I'll get started
without you guys.
* *
>> You know,
they say god never gives you
More than you can handle,
And that's just not true.
[Crying]
marty's never getting better,
And I can't...
Effing handle it.
[Crying]
>> Do you think
that nick can tell
That I had a thing with neil?
>> No.
>> Because I really
don't want him to realize
That he's dating down.
>> He's not dating down.
>> Okay, well...
I don't want him to realize
that I date down,
Because that would lower
my stock.
[Whispering]
did he hear me?
>> Mmm.
>> No, he didn't hear me.
>> I think you stopped
before he came in.
>> I did, right?
Okay.
[People speaking indistinctly
on television]
>> ...When I slide
my harley v-twin
Under a peterbilt
And pop out the other side
without a scratch.
>> There's no highway 84.
She's quoting convoy
And talking about stunts she saw
in a burt reynolds movie.
What the fuck
are we doing here?
>> Ask buck.
>> I don't want to ask buck.
I'm done talking to buck.
>> Hey, doc, help me out here.
I'm trying like hell
to communicate.
But this guy--he's making it
real fucking hard.
>> You want to know
what's fucking hard, tara?
Waking up in the middle
of the night
Not knowing where you are.
Yeah, that's hard.
Trying to piece together
some kind of normal life,
But down inside
you're losing all hope
That the suffering
is ever gonna end.
This is not what I had in mind
for my life.
>> You calling me out,
tough guy?
>> No.
Nope, nope,
I'm not doing anything.
I'm out of here.
This is waste of time.
[Door opens]
>> Don't you walk
away from me.
Yeah, that's right.
Walk away, you pussy!
>> Hey, buck, do me a favor.
If you see tara,
you tell her I'm through.
I'm not doing this anymore.
>> Oh, I'll give her
the message...
Asshole!
>> Uh, he seemed nice.
>> Yeah.
[Both laugh uncomfortably]
>> I think he got
a little freaked out
When I told him you like
doing it in the shower.
>> No--
>> char--
Charmaine, come on.
Really?
I-I-I would never tell him
about the fucking, all right?
>> You--you heard me.
Oh, my god.
Neil.
>> You know...
>> Look, I'm sorry.
>> You--you have better boobs
now, all right?
You can't be...
Wasting your time.
And, uh, btw...
I loved that body
the way it was.
And...
And btw, btw,
The thing between us--
It's not just fucking,
And you know it.
Good night.
[Engine turning]
[Woman speaking indistinctly
over pa]
[Indistinct chattering]
>> Tara?
>> Hi.
>> You're back.
I heard you were cleared
for takeoff.
[Both laughing]
Oh, god.
See if it sticks.
>> What?
>> Oh, I've been integrated
before,
And it turns out
that some of the alters
Were just hiding, but, um...
I think this time
I'm good, though.
>> Of course you are.
>> [Laughs]
>> Oh, who are these cuties?
>> Hmm?
Oh.
Uh...
Bella and wendy.
>> Hmm.
>> They must be
ten and 12 now.
I haven't seen them
in a while.
My ex has full custody.
>> Hey, chucky.
[Sighs]
>> Chucky,
there's a 15-minute limit.
>> Chucky!
>> Okay, okay.
>> I need the phone!
Hang up now, fool!
I'm sorry.
[Cell phone ringing]
>> Yeah.
>> I want to find
trip johannsen.
If my alters won't tell me
what happened,
Then I want
to find him myself.
Can you help me?
>> You gonna call me cowboy,
Get all mad at me?
>> Not tonight.
[Laughs]
>> I miss you.
[Indie rock music]
>> * You've been keeping
something from me, baby *
* By now, maybe... *
>> I miss you, too.
>> * I've been waiting
for the perfect moment *
* Just you own it *
* Just to say that I'm okay *
* Without a lot *
* You and me *
* Is all I got *
* Dreaming *
* Dream a little dream of me *
* Say... * *
on united states of tara...
>> I think it might be time for
you to see another therapist.
>> You're breaking up with me?
>> We need her.
Why'd she do that?
>> I mean,
you are a handful, tara.
>> What does that mean?
>> There's four of you.
That's not a relationship.
It's an orgy.
>> I'm sorry, ma'am,
but it's your sister.
>> Of course it is.
Tara.
Oh, my god.
>> [Shouting]
>> Aah!
>> Sounds like gimme came out.
>> How many times
do I have to tell you?
I don't know shit
about that gimme shit.
>> What the hell is that?
>> I saw it on your fridge,
and I-I couldn't resist.
>> You stole a picture
from me?
>> You know, you might have
grounds for sexual harassment.
You should call h.r.
>> To mother issues.
It wasn't bad, was it?
>> Wasn't bad at all.
>> You're marshall's b.f.
>> I'm not anybody's b.f.
Marsh, man, I am--
I am so sorry.
>> Marshall.
That wasn't me.
I would never--
>> Hey.
>> Hello?!
The shed's on fire!
>> Holy shit!
Kate, get that other hose!
[Contemplative music]
* *
>> * Open up the sky *
* This mess is getting high *
* It's windy,
and our family needs a ride *
* *
* I know we'll be just fine *
* When we learn to love
the ride *
* *
* I know we'll be fine *
* When we learn to love
the ride *
* *
* I know we'll be
just fine *
* When we learn to love *
* The ride * *
>> We had a priest
who used to give us gum balls
In the confessional
at st. Anne's.
We'd be in there--
"Bless me, father, I cheated
on my french test."
Or, "bless me, father, I did
whippits with a hot townie."
I mean,
you couldn't phone it in,
But if you were really penitent
And father roger could feel
the sorrow in your heart,
He'd hit you
with some hail marys
And put a little gum ball
in the slot.
[Scoffs]
>> Tell me that you know
that was wrong, right?
A lot of ways
to express yourself.
>> Dad, please don't send me
to military school.
>> It's worse than that, pal.
You're going
to regular-ass school.
Go get some clothes on.
>> [Scoffs]
but what if I see him?
>> Like I give a fuck.
Go get dressed for school.
>> That's absurd.
>> What's absurd?
>> [Sighs]
nothing.
>> Marshall.
>> It's okay
that he's mad at me.
To tell you the truth,
I'm pretty mad
at me right now, too.
>> [Sighs]
>> She should be put away.
>> Shut your gob.
>> Seriously,
what are we doing here?
We're just gonna treat it
like a normal tuesday
And act like nothing
even happened?
>> Nobody's acting, marsh,
especially not your mom.
>> Right,
because she's insane.
I mean, we're living
so far off the map,
It's like early john waters
or something,
Before divine
was even adorable.
>> He's kind of right, dad.
Do we need a plan
or something?
I mean, maybe she should
at least be back on her meds.
>> I know it's messed up
right now, okay?
But we're not gonna bail
on her like dr. Ocean
And all those other useless
fucking doctors we dealt with.
She made a commitment to get off
her meds till she gets better,
So...
>> It doesn't seem
to be getting any better, dad.
In the words of police chief
martin brody,
"We need a bigger boat."
>> Sometimes the strongest thing
you can do is ask for help.
[Chuckles]
We need a bigger fucking boat.
[Soft music]
* *
[Telephone ringing]
>> [Sighs]
>> Your, uh, hospitalization
in 1989.
>> Yeah, I, uh, I drove
Into the back
of an ice cream truck.
Well, buck did.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> But that was
Before any authenticated
diagnosis, correct?
>> Mm-hmm, none of the doctors
could figure it out.
Until they did,
we were just...
Drowning.
>> Well, disassociation is--
Look, it's so tough.
I want to commend you
for making your way here.
>> Yeah, I kind of had to.
[Chuckles]
We're just lucky my sister
was able to watch the kids.
She's not gonna bring that new
guy over and sleep with him
In our bed, is she?
Sorry.
>> Mmm.
>> So what can tara expect
from this?
>> Well, it's
pretty straightforward.
Look, you--
you can't get better
Until you know
what happened to you.
My program provides
a two-week protected environment
Where patients
can really dig in.
Once we start breaking down
the walls
Between you and your alters,
You'll be able to get
out of survival mode
And really start to live.
You'll have individual therapy
with me, plus group therapy,
Long-term-recovery planning,
All sorts of good stuff
you'll find helpful.
>> I know I will.
>> Sounds good, huh?
>> And for you, too, max.
>> Pardon?
>> I've found a 12-step model
of family involvement
Is effective
for trauma recovery as well.
>> That was the moment
I decided
That it's god's will
that marty's a multi,
So I better make me
some lemonade.
And if I get him a cd
for his birthday,
I'm pretty sure at least one
of the alters will like it.
[Applause]
>> When I started disassociating
after iraq,
I seriously thought
that everybody woke up
In strange hotel rooms
with people they never met.
>> Don't they?
[Laughter]
>> Since I was a child,
I always knew there was
something bizarre going on
With my memory.
>> At least you can remember
being a child.
>> I'm so jealous of people who
can really answer the question--
"How was your day?"
>> [Laughs]
>> Yeah, I used to turn it
back on him really fast.
I'd be like,
"good, honey, how was yours?"
>> I got really good
at hiding it.
My trauma happened
when I was 16,
So I didn't start switching
till after that,
But, uh, whenever I would come
back from a transition,
I knew exactly
how to cover and get by.
>> Yeah, we'll do almost
anything to appear normal.
>> I don't remember what
happened at boarding school,
But, uh, I do have
vivid memories
Of a few weeks afterwards.
It was a month
until summer break,
And I couldn't wait
to get out.
I'm such
a total summer person.
[Light laughter]
And I remember
I wore my bathing suit
Under my clothes every day.
>> [Laughs]
>> And while everybody
was going to class
And going on
with their lives,
I just sat in my dorm window
Waiting for summer to come.
>> Did it?
>> The next thing
I remember...
Is snow...
Everywhere.
I was at my parents',
And six months had gone by
in an instant.
And it was just...
White.
>> What'd you think
of the snow?
>> It was...
I mean, not what I expected.
But it was beautiful.
[Chuckles]
>> I don't even know
what to say.
I am so sorry.
>> It's not your fault.
I mean, my mom's
a total freak show.
She's actually
At a hospital
for the criminally insane now.
>> She is?
Wow.
I didn't even know
they had hospitals
For the criminally insane
anymore.
>> T-there's, like, one.
It's outside of chicago.
A-anyway, my aunt's staying
with us, which I'm cool with,
So...
So do you want--
>> I feel really bad
about what happened.
I even talked
to my dad about it.
Listen, I think you're the most
awesome kid in this school.
Remember me when you win
your oscar, okay?
[Bell ringing]
>> [Sighs] so you really think
you can get him to come out?
>> Some patients
have an easier time
Using hypnosis
or sodium pentothal,
But you--you've been
experiencing co-consciousness,
Which indicates permeability
within your system.
>> I've never experienced
co-consciousness with gimme.
>> Well, what about the time
When t hit
on your son's friend?
>> I could see
everything she was doing.
You know,
I don't know what's worse--
Not knowing the shit you do
Or seeing it
and not being able to stop it.
>> Look,
you can do this, tara.
Once we can access the trauma
by probing your alters--
And the odds are high that
at least one of them knows--
Then even
if it's hard to watch,
You'll finally know.
Okay, let's hit it.
>> Okay.
[Camera beeps]
>> [Clears throat]
[Sniffs]
>> So mr. Stuart
called you hot,
Said your hair was
too provocative for daytime.
>> Right.
>> Did mr. Stuart ever make
any requests for dates?
>> All the time.
He always wanted me to go
to brookstone
To check out
the massage chairs.
>> That's not a date.
>> What?
>> It wouldn't hold up.
Look, miss gregson, if you're
claiming sexual misconduct,
It has to be crystal clear
the advances were unwelcome.
>> Of course they were.
>> [Sighs]
The food-service industry
Is a hotbed
of sexual impropriety.
It's basically
institutionalized.
That's why people work
at restaurants.
It's not uncommon
for young waitresses
To develop feelings
for their manager.
It's okay if you blew him.
Did you blow him?
>> No.
I didn't.
[Chuckles]
um, miss--miss jackson,
I got this job
to get some extra money,
Because my mother
is very, very sick.
I have much better things
to do than--
Than spend my time
being in a relationship
With some loser guy
from loser barnabeez.
No offense.
>> I've heard worse.
>> Shit.
Shit!
>> It's really okay.
>> It's not okay.
What is wrong with me?
I was able to be co-conscious
before I came here.
>> You've been through a lot.
>> It's been four days.
Why isn't
the hypnosis working?
>> There are some patients
that don't respond.
>> How am I supposed to get
to the truth and get better
If the alters won't come out
and talk to you?
>> This is a process.
They're not ready.
Tara, and to be fair to them,
look, they just--
They just met me.
>> Well, I like you.
I trust you.
God, it's so frustrating.
>> These alters--they use
tara's body as they please,
And then when tara's out,
She spends all her time
in a state of guilty overdrive.
>> I'm sorry.
Uh, but you keep saying,
"tara this," and, "tara that."
Aren't we supposed to keep our
sharing focused on ourselves?
>> That's right.
>> Yeah.
Like what's really going on
deep down inside of you.
>> I don't know
how that could help.
>> So how are you doing
with your group stuff?
>> It's fantastic.
I'm learning a lot
about myself.
>> [Laughs]
>> Bullshit.
Oh, it's just a lot
of useless yammering.
I thought I was gonna enjoy
meeting people
In my situation, but...
>> Yeah, well,
if it makes you feel any better,
I'm not having much luck
bringing any of my alters out.
>> I thought this guy
was the shit.
And at home,
we can't get them to stay in.
>> Hey, it's the dude
from the picture
You keep by your bed.
>> Is that jenny?
Hey.
>> [Whispering]
jenny's integrated.
>> [Whispering]
why are you whispering?
>> You know how some people
aren't happy for you
When you've lost
a bunch of weight?
>> Oh.
That--that's amazing.
How'd you do that?
>> Well...
A lot of time and hard work,
Like what tara's doing.
>> But it's doable, right?
I mean, we can fix this.
>> Mm-hmm.
>> It's not like taking me
to the dry-cleaner's, max.
>> I know.
I know it's a process.
And dr. Holden said
it's not gonna happen overnight.
I get it.
>> Just as long as it happens
Before our insurance runs out.
>> Morning, fake mom.
>> "Mornseys."
>> Is fake dad still here?
>> No.
[Dryer buzzing]
Guess what I did.
I didn't sleep with him.
I didn't let him sleep over
And...
Perhaps extended
this lovely thing
Yet another day
By continuing to treat myself
Like a special prize
he has to win.
>> Oh, really?
So was it you
Or that special prize
That was having
a screaming orgasm
At 1:30 in the morning?
>> You're imagining things.
He was long gone by then.
>> Oh, really?
>> [Laughing]
well...
I didn't let him sleep over.
>> Oh, my god!
[Telephone ringing]
[Humming]
>> I'm a slut.
Hello?
>> Hey, it's max.
>> Hey, max.
>> More xanax, moosh?
What is this,
anna nicole smith time?
Sorry, but even in fagland,
This is really done.
>> It just
makes everything better.
>> Yeah, but if you take a pill
to make everything better,
Then you never know
when things are fucked up.
And if you don't know
when things are fucked up,
You can't fix it yourself.
>> Believe me,
I know what's fucked up.
>> Do you even get
what mom's alters do?
>> Ruin my fucking life?
>> No.
They do stuff for mom.
She was protecting you.
Jason is nothing
but a bi-curious church monkey
Who's using you
to find some edge.
>> That's not true.
>> Okay, so maybe
he will fuck some guys,
And maybe you can get him
to fuck you.
But he's gonna marry a girl,
And he's never gonna love you
the same way that you love him.
So t came out
to try and put a stop to it.
>> You slept in the truck?
>> Yeah, too many significant
others at the ramada bar.
They just want to talk
and share and stuff.
>> Well, why aren't you sharing
and stuff?
>> Why would I want to do that?
Who wants to hear my shit?
>> You know what I think?
I think you don't want to hear
your shit,
Because you got a lot of it,
And you're afraid
you might lose it,
And your voice
will get all high,
And you'll sound like a woman.
[Chuckles]
>> Yeah, right.
Fuck off.
How are the kids?
>> They're doing so great,
I think you guys should stay
another week or something.
>> Yeah, right.
>> Good luck.
>> Thanks.
[Phone beeps]
>> We're beginning to inject
the medicine into your I.v.
You'll notice you're beginning
to feel a little more relaxed.
Okay, so I can tell
the medicine is reaching you,
I'd like you to count backwards
from 100 for me.
>> Now?
>> Yeah, go ahead.
>> 100...
99...
98...
[Slurring]
97...
96...
>> Very good.
I'm wondering if anybody
Inside tara has a memory
Of a night
when something happened
With tara
and a boy named trip.
>> [Breathing deeply]
>> Can anyone help us
with a memory?
>> What's in it for me?
[Rock music]
[Cheering]
Don't fuck with buck!
[Laughs]
>> So, listen, buck,
I understand you don't want
to have therapy in my office.
>> Oh, yeah,
I'm done with that.
>> Great, well,
then I'll just--
I'll just hang
with you, then, okay?
>> You can hang all you want,
but nobody wants to talk to you.
That's why I'm here.
Oh-oh!
You see that?
Lick it and stick it.
>> Yeah, lucky shot.
Whatever, get out of the way.
>> Lucky, huh?
Cocky sumbitch.
I could hit that shit
Facedown munching
your mama's snatch.
>> Ooh!
[Laughter]
>> I apologize
about my foul tongue.
I'm gonna make you
my special lady.
>> [Clears throat] if everybody
could just sign this card
For tonya,
that would be great.
And when she comes back,
No comments
about missing eyebrows.
And yes, in case anyone
is wondering,
We will continue to serve
Our signature
volcano choc-splosion drink,
Just without
the "splosion" feature.
You guys got me?
>> Yeah.
>> Uh, one more thing--
If anyone has anything
to say to me...
I ask that they say it
to my face.
Have a great shift.
>> Thank you.
>> All right.
>> I'm gonna sign it now.
>> That includes you.
>> I don't have anything
to say.
>> You certainly had something
to say to corporate.
I have friends
all over barnabeez.
That means when there's
something squirrelly
Scooting up the flagpole,
I get a call.
>> I think you get a call
Because you can't keep
your penis
Out of the face
of every girl who works for you.
>> "Penis" is not an acceptable
word for the workplace.
You got this job
Because you wanted to get
out of your crazy-ass house.
You were looking
for affection from me.
>> No, I was not.
>> And I was there for you.
And I still am.
>> Ew.
Can you just stop acting like
whatever happened was important.
>> It was.
Kitty, we fell in love--
>> oh, god, look at you!
You can't even stop scamming
right now.
>> Hey, chucky!
Is that my yoo-hoo?
So help me,
it better be room temperature.
Oh!
Fucking shit is freezing!
That's gonna fuck
with my system.
Idiot.
>> How's she doing?
>> This kind of regression
tells me I'm on the right track.
When tara feels strong enough
to face the truth,
She'll come back.
We just have to be patient.
>> Patient my ass.
You're fucking $6,000 a week.
I can see this shit for free
in my living room.
>> Listen,
I know it's not easy,
But you came here
for a reason.
Please try to trust
the program, max.
If you need something to do
with yourself,
I suggest going
back to your group.
>> Cheating me, taking away--
>> [Laughing]
>> More wine, char?
>> Yes, please.
>> I'll take a refill.
[Soft music]
* *
>> Is this--
Is this what normal people
are like?
Like, is this what dinner's
supposed to feel like?
[Door closes]
>> Hey, sweetie.
Nick made
white trash dessert.
There's pudding
and marshmallows
And bananas and, um...
I don't know.
Yikes.
[Door opens, closes]
>> hey, hey.
I brought jiffy pop.
Who wants to watch lost?
Okay, I'll get started
without you guys.
* *
>> You know,
they say god never gives you
More than you can handle,
And that's just not true.
[Crying]
marty's never getting better,
And I can't...
Effing handle it.
[Crying]
>> Do you think
that nick can tell
That I had a thing with neil?
>> No.
>> Because I really
don't want him to realize
That he's dating down.
>> He's not dating down.
>> Okay, well...
I don't want him to realize
that I date down,
Because that would lower
my stock.
[Whispering]
did he hear me?
>> Mmm.
>> No, he didn't hear me.
>> I think you stopped
before he came in.
>> I did, right?
Okay.
[People speaking indistinctly
on television]
>> ...When I slide
my harley v-twin
Under a peterbilt
And pop out the other side
without a scratch.
>> There's no highway 84.
She's quoting convoy
And talking about stunts she saw
in a burt reynolds movie.
What the fuck
are we doing here?
>> Ask buck.
>> I don't want to ask buck.
I'm done talking to buck.
>> Hey, doc, help me out here.
I'm trying like hell
to communicate.
But this guy--he's making it
real fucking hard.
>> You want to know
what's fucking hard, tara?
Waking up in the middle
of the night
Not knowing where you are.
Yeah, that's hard.
Trying to piece together
some kind of normal life,
But down inside
you're losing all hope
That the suffering
is ever gonna end.
This is not what I had in mind
for my life.
>> You calling me out,
tough guy?
>> No.
Nope, nope,
I'm not doing anything.
I'm out of here.
This is waste of time.
[Door opens]
>> Don't you walk
away from me.
Yeah, that's right.
Walk away, you pussy!
>> Hey, buck, do me a favor.
If you see tara,
you tell her I'm through.
I'm not doing this anymore.
>> Oh, I'll give her
the message...
Asshole!
>> Uh, he seemed nice.
>> Yeah.
[Both laugh uncomfortably]
>> I think he got
a little freaked out
When I told him you like
doing it in the shower.
>> No--
>> char--
Charmaine, come on.
Really?
I-I-I would never tell him
about the fucking, all right?
>> You--you heard me.
Oh, my god.
Neil.
>> You know...
>> Look, I'm sorry.
>> You--you have better boobs
now, all right?
You can't be...
Wasting your time.
And, uh, btw...
I loved that body
the way it was.
And...
And btw, btw,
The thing between us--
It's not just fucking,
And you know it.
Good night.
[Engine turning]
[Woman speaking indistinctly
over pa]
[Indistinct chattering]
>> Tara?
>> Hi.
>> You're back.
I heard you were cleared
for takeoff.
[Both laughing]
Oh, god.
See if it sticks.
>> What?
>> Oh, I've been integrated
before,
And it turns out
that some of the alters
Were just hiding, but, um...
I think this time
I'm good, though.
>> Of course you are.
>> [Laughs]
>> Oh, who are these cuties?
>> Hmm?
Oh.
Uh...
Bella and wendy.
>> Hmm.
>> They must be
ten and 12 now.
I haven't seen them
in a while.
My ex has full custody.
>> Hey, chucky.
[Sighs]
>> Chucky,
there's a 15-minute limit.
>> Chucky!
>> Okay, okay.
>> I need the phone!
Hang up now, fool!
I'm sorry.
[Cell phone ringing]
>> Yeah.
>> I want to find
trip johannsen.
If my alters won't tell me
what happened,
Then I want
to find him myself.
Can you help me?
>> You gonna call me cowboy,
Get all mad at me?
>> Not tonight.
[Laughs]
>> I miss you.
[Indie rock music]
>> * You've been keeping
something from me, baby *
* By now, maybe... *
>> I miss you, too.
>> * I've been waiting
for the perfect moment *
* Just you own it *
* Just to say that I'm okay *
* Without a lot *
* You and me *
* Is all I got *
* Dreaming *
* Dream a little dream of me *
* Say... * *