Umbre (2014–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript

After finding out about Relu's real job, Gina does not want him in their house. For the Oncescu family things start falling apart. Relu can't go home anymore and spends his nights in pubs. ...

Turn up the music a bit will you mate?
So we can listen.

Just leave it, took me ages
to put him down.

Can you ever not fight me
over every fucking thing?!

I just wanna listen to some music,
is that a capital offence?!

- I was just saying...
- What?

So what if he wakes up?
Can't he just nod off again?

He's sleeping on my penny after all!

Keep sneering at me like that
and there'll be hell to pay!

Episode 5

-I think Pop Puiu's dead.

They said in Biology that people
piss their pants when they croak.

Pop Puiu? Pop Puiu?!

- Make like a soda cap and screw off!
- Open up!

Stop darkening my door like charcoal?
Fuck the hell off!

- Go inside.
- Can't I just stay?

I wasn't asking, I was telling! Go on!

Open the door, Pops!

Gina dear, you know I've got
a deep regard for you...

Keep your regard, roll it up
and shove it so far up

that it comes out your lying mouth!

Then recycle it and stick it up
the Relster's ass too!

Better pipe down. Want to spill
your guts to the whole block?

It's a right shame, how you kicked him
out of the house.

Someone like him comes along
once in a lifetime!

- Not even, like the eclipse!
- Someone like him?!

He threw a man off a building,
onto the car I was in. I saw it!

- With your own eyes?
- Yes, with my own eyes.

If you were in the car when he landed,
how did you also see the dunk upstairs?

Can you see something different
out of each eye, like a chameleon?

- How dumb do you think I am?
- Not dumb, just clueless.

And way too curious.

He doesn't drink, or stay up gambling,
or hang out with floozies.

His only flaw is throwing guys
out of windows!

And you're perfect?

Don't you think I don't know
who got him mixed up in this!

Sure, I'm always the villain.
I even hold his schlong in the john.

I'm well aware. You've known him
long before I came along.

Don't you think you two have me duped!

- This has nothing to do with me...
-Stay there till you start to stink!

Then go find Relu! You ain't sitting
at my table, eating my food again!

- I'll just get takeout!
- Great!

Gorge yourself on E's and get cancer!

Enjoy your meal!

What's your take?

- Nice.
- Right?

I think so too. Art!

200 a pop! The asking price was 270,
but I brought them down by buying four.

- A bit steep. Go into any wholesale...
- That's true, but still.

- Are you clued up on art?
- Not really.

What are you clued up on then?

- My job.
- Which is?

I collect.
Debt. Money.

Let me ask you this.

What do I do about your debt?
Do you shake yourself down?

- Or do I send others?
- What debt, boss? I never took a penny!

You didn't bring it in either. The
uncollected money's as good as gone.

So what, should I go after Giani
to get the dough?

Beats me. Do you wanna go?

This is what we'll do.

- What's his take?
- Five percent.

Five percent, perfect.
I've got a guy for you. Dinu Cocoº.

He's in for 60 grand, and gives me
the runaround every time we meet.

Then yesterday, he calls
on his own initiative.

Says he'll fork it over today,
on his mother.

-Dinu Cocoº?
-The senator from Constanþa.

A useless, average shopkeeper.
Forgotten how he got his seat.

So, out of 60 grand, you'd pocket 3,

OK. With Giani dead and buried,
his money's down the drain.

But the doctor's still in play.
He still owes a chunk of change right?

So here's what we'll do.
You wave your commission today.

Next time too.
And so on until you're all squared up.

-Fine plan, huh?
-Yes, boss.

Careful with Cocoº. He runs with
the Constanþa crew, so use kid gloves.

What's the word on last week's thing,
with Tãnase?

Beats me.
Did you take it up with me?

- But Tãnase said...
- Tãnase's a shit-spouter.

They should shoot scat porn around him!

- Boss, what about the Turks?
- I told you I'm not in the damn loop!

What you do in your spare time
is your business.

Your life. I don't care,
so I stay out of it.

Go on. All the best. See ya.

Good day, ma'am. How do you do...
Mrs. Oncescu?

-And you are...? How did you get in?
-I'm close friends with the Relster.

-We go way back.
-Where's Relu?

Isn't he here?
I thought he'd be home.

Didn't you come in together?
So how did you get in?

The normal way, through the door.

The kids must've left it open
when they left for school.

- So you have kids then.
- Yes. How long have you known Relu?

Donkey's years! Used to fix his teeth,
I'm a dentist myself.

But he plays his cards close
to his vest, he's a tactful guy.

- Cute kids! Your eldest's how old now?
- Not old enough.

-Can I get you a drink?
-Sure, a beer's fine if you have any.

- Cheers!
- To your health.

Nice-looking, your neck of the woods!

D'you know what a square metre goes
for? I wouldn't mind staying round here.

- What did you come to see Relu about?
- What? Oh, nothing I'd bore you with.

Make an effort.
You've come all this way after all.

He had some money to give me. Well,
I actually meant to ask for a loan.

Relu no longer lives here.

- What?
- This isn't Relu's home anymore.

He packed his stuff and took off.

Where to?

Call and ask him yourself, what with
you being old friends and all.

Here's the deal!

Check it out, a pipe burst
at Mr. Savu's!

Go back out!

- The cops might show up!
- Go back out and stay out!

I'll be off then.

Tell Relu the Doctor came over
to see him about some dough.

Have him call me, so I don't have
to get in your hair here again.

Please hold the elevator!

Hello. Senator?

Senator Cocoº?

- Cocoº Dinu.
- "Cocoº Dinu," like roll call!

- Are you here for...?
- Yes.

I am here for...?

- If that will be all...?
- Are rushing out?

Yes, to a Senate meeting.
At the Agriculture Commission.

On the former SAPARD funds,
if you're familiar.

Yes, of course.

- One more thing, if I can impose.
- I'm in a bit of a hurry...

I won't be 2 minutes, honest!
I'll just pop into the can.

I had ragout this morning
and, when nature calls...

What the hell, just take
what you're here for and go!

Cheers, bye now!

- What about the money?!
- What money?

60,000 euro. For the Captain.

Sir, even with your schooling and rank,
it's shameful to rib a guy like that.

It's what you're here for, ain't it?
Collect what I owe the Captain?!

I don't know any captains, Senator.

I came in 'cause, out in the hall,
they said I could get brochures here...

...on these agro loans.
From the EU, get it?

I wanna go into mushroom farming.
And this plump lady pointed me here.

I even sniggered to myself, "I'm gonna
see a nut about a mushroom!"

Would've been different with corn!
Good bye!

I'll pop by again when you're
not quite so busy.

Howdy! Just came to refill the tanks.

Out of the way!

Hello? What?!

Slow down, I didn't catch that...



-Where are they? Where are the kids?
-At Codrin's.

Why didn't you call me?
Why didn't you call me then?

It's one thing to know my life with you
is a lie.

And to feel disgusted with myself.

- But for you to cause my...
- Have you gone mad?!

If anything happened, what would
that cripple do to protect them?

He was here, in the house, Relu.
Broke in through the window.

He asked Magda's age,
with this evil grin, get it?


There, there... It's over.

You know what works wonders
on tension!

- Go fuck yourself.
- I was kidding, cool it.

He won't set foot in here again.
I can guarantee that.

Relu, if you throw this one too
out a window... It's over.

-What's over?
-"Us" is over.

He came to my house.
Where my family is. My kids.


She's fine. She's with her brother,
at a neighbor's.

- How did he even know where you live?
- Indeed!

The switchboard girls told me
this guy came looking for me

saying I'd crashed into him.

He gave them my sticker numbers,

Those idiots lapped it up,
gave him my home address.

So he could personally get in touch...
and now, he did.

What's in there, pops?

- Nothing.
- So what's making that noise?

The tools.

- What tools?
- You don't wanna know.

-No tools, man.
-No tools?

-How come?
-'Cause... I promised Gina.

All right, Relster. You're the boss.
No tools it is.

But, didn't you agree on no tools?

- Sorry, can I smoke in here?
- Yes, of course. By all means.

This guy, he'd be
wearing long johns, huh?

Yes. It's an opera.

Verdi? Rigoletto?

What's he saying?
Something important?

Of course. It goes like this:
"Woman is fickle/

Like a feather in the wind/ She changes
her voice/ And changes her mind.

If you're gonna go all out,

wearing tights
and makeup like a faggot,

not to mention,
heehaw like a screwball,

I say you could at least sing about
something real!

For instance?

Beats me, sonny!

Something major!

-An opera about cancer?!

So love isn't important enough?

It is, especially when you're young,
with a tent pole in your pants!

But if you're gonna sing about crap,
show some class, make it heartfelt!

Come, baby, your distance hits me hard!
Come on baby, drop your guard!

Come on, baby, life's
knocking at your gates!

Come on, babe,
let's party with my mates!

"Baby, drop your guard"... if the poor
girl's tied up to a heater,

in a ringway motel, sure she's
gonna keep her guard up!

Let alone the "baby" name!

She's, what? 16? 14? 13?!

A 35-year-old wouldn't be a "baby!"

Plus, we're not just talking rape,
it's full-on gang bang!

"Let's party with my mates!"

Not "me and you," but "my mates" too!

She clearly isn't into him, so he's
smouldering with frustration, see?

Till he ends up loathing her!

Stop the car.

- Sorry if I overstepped...
- Pull over, sonny!

Come on, baby, life's
knocking at your gates!

Come on, babe, let's party
with my mates!

God, babe, you're hurting me so bad!

Why is loving me so hard?

Throwing daggers through
your magic eyes,

Like the bandits who seek my demise!

I'd gladly eat my gun, babe,
and so much more to keep you safe!

No way!

45! You've only got 35 points there.

Can you get that?

You gotta have 45 for the initial meld!
No cheating!

- You lot, home!
- Come on in!

- No, we've imposed too much already.
- No way, relax.

No worries, they're soft drinks.

- Kids!
- Is the quarantine over then?

How about you save your cheek
for back home? Now!

- Bye, Codrin!
- Bye, guys! Your DVDs!

-If they're R-rated, don't even bother!
-No, they're wildlife documentaries.

- Thanks, Codrin!
- Mr. Codrin!

Whatever trouble you're in,
I can help!

-Help me with what?
-I don't know. If you need me to.

If I need you to what?

A friend of mine works 3 blocks over.
At the 22nd precinct.

OK, so what?

So nothing. I was just saying,
if anything happens at some point...

I saw you and Relu rowed. And with him
moving out, if you need help..

You caught that, Relu moving out?

Don't be like that.
So I keep tabs on you now?

No. You just happen to see
under my roof!

- We're neighbors, aren't we?
- Really?

So all the kids on the block get
fancy handshakes and DVDs?

Or just those whose moms
you wanna get with?

On second thought, you and Relu are
quite alike. In thinking I'm a fool.

What's this?!

Are we still looking for the doctor
or stopping for a bite?!

I was hungry, so what?!

Pop Puiu!

- He was spotted at University Square!
- Thanks!

We're in luck!

Easy! Easy!

Boss, that stunt you pulled earlier
wasn't very nice!

If there's no trust among us,
who can we trust?

So. I happen to know a miss
Adina Cocoº, a student at Tonitza.

And I happen to know a couple of
Moldavians too,

who'll fuck her every which way
for 300 euro apiece

film it and deliver the tape
to your doorstep.

I beg you, don't! I'll give you
anything you want! On my life!

- Sure about that, boss?
- Yes!

Why did'ya do it?

-I messed up.
-No question about that. But why?

- There's 12,000 in here, plus...
- Wait!

I still don't get the why of it.

'Cause you lent me 28 grand
and you're now asking for 60!

-It's steep, too steep!
-Then you should've gotten a bank loan.

I should've, yes.

Still, I'm a Senator,
not your average scumbag, right?

No shit! Right you are, Senator!

Baiting me, entrapping ME?! ME?!
Goddamn lackey!

You can wrap this up yourself.

I didn't even get to...
Pop Puiu, what's up?

Same old, Tatiana, the daily grind.

Me too. I'll leave you to it.

Go ahead and give yourself a tip!

Good night, pops!

Boss! Check it out!
We can come to an arrangement!

My hand just might slip,
and slit your jugular!

Grab us two handfuls from the 24h shop
on the corner.

- Grab what?
- Two Vodkas.

- Are we throwing a party now?!
- Bingo!

Fuck me sideways!

What the hell was that, man?!

What's this? Blood?

That's 12 grand in there.

- And the rest?
- The rest...

I doubt he'll be forking it over.

What happened?

Why was the Captain playing dumb
when I brought up the Turks?

-Wasn't he in on it?
-Of course he was.

That's why he's the Captain.
He always lands on his feet.

Then, let's run away.

Between this and my office stash,
we're covered for a few years.

No bullshit.

Careful you don't singe yourself
with the cigarette...

- You don't want to?
- I can't.

Can't what?

I grab 2 tickets,
we fly out at dawn,

and just hours later,
we're tanning on a beach.

I've got a family. A wife.

I'm married with kids, two of them.

You never mentioned them before.

It's like the boss said this morning,
my spare time's nobody's business.

Take care.

End of episode 5